Serious Business

Terezi can see again. Karkat embraces the theological teachings of John Calvin. Tavros stands up for himself. Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamencer summons a skeleton army. Vriska finds a treasure. John breaks Homestuck.

his episode covers pages 6015 - 6110 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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Synchronize your time gnomes, everyone. Join Sam, Bastian, and Ari, as we read the section of Homestuck that dares to ask questions like “What if Caliborn played a game of pool that was also like Deep Impact? ?” and “How do Cherubs have sex?” and “What if Gamzee was someone’s dad?” 

This episode covers pages 5927 - 6014 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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Following Trickster Mode, kids are in various states of hungover. Cathartic conversations are had. The Alpha Kids Ascend. Her Imperious Condescension springs a trap.

In which Sam discusses which X-men characters are the most Homestuck (@Bastian Rachel Summers is more Homestuck than Cable because same backstory + lesbian), Bastian asks if you even skate, and Ari makes an accidental spoiler. 

This episode covers pages 5788 - 5926 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

Get in touch! Follow Serious Business on twitter:  https://twitter.com/SeriousBusPod. Leave us a message at our tumblr: https://seriousbusinesspod.tumblr.com/

Okay, yeah, so actually Jake is more of the focus in this episode but I wanted to use this title before this act ended. We finish up the last pre-trickster mode section. Topics discussed include chivalry, the path to radicalization online, but in a bad way, and clown code.

This episode covers pages 5658 - 5713 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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IIn which your hosts talk about Wizardy Herbert, Calliope's self image issues, how glitter is evil, the results of our poll from last episode, Dirk and Lil' Hal, and ARquiusprite.

The LoadingReadyRun video we referenced can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbr1Xn_m20s

This episode covers pages 5572 - 5657 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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*Content Warning: From 34:08 - 44:43 there is a discussion of sexual harassment.*

The crew begins on Homestuck Act Six Act Five: Of Gods and Tricksters, and the gang gets reacquainted with the alpha kids. We discuss Homestuck's straightest gay relationship, questioning why anyone would like Jake English, make our way through the worst conversation in Homestuck, ask "what if aliens made tumblr?" and craft a poll live on air.

This episode covers pages 5512 - 5571 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck web browser

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In this episode of Serious Business, Ari forays into being a Gamzee apologist. We discuss the nature of stories, the meta aspects of things, and everyone's favorite Denizen, Yaldabaoth.

This episode covers pages 5440 - 5511 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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The gang somehow gets sidetracked minimally as we talk about Act Six Act Four. That said, we still manage to mention LoadingReadyRun, Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting about as I type this description.

This episode covers pages 5439 & 5439 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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In this episode of Serious Business, we talk about the final three irrelevant trolls introduced to Homestuck, talk about our experiences with alcohol, and say some normal Homestuck sentences.

This episode covers pages 5398 - 5437 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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In our return from unannounced hiatus, Serious Business discusses Cronus Ampora, Mituna Captor, Meulin Leijon, and Kurloz Makara. Latchula jokes continue. Bastian makes Sam spit root beer all over themself. John does a good fight before learning it doesn’t matter. Disability only exists in Homesick because of violence.

This episode covers pages 5308 - 5397 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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We start on Act 6 Intermission 3, and Ari finally sees themself represented in Homestuck. Meenah forms a vanguard party. John throws a tantrum.

This episode covers pages 5263 - 5307 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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The gang finishes out Act 6 Act 3. Sam mispronounces things. Ari reminds you to always kiss the besties. Bastian teaches some medical history. Oh, you wanted to know what happens in this chunk of the story? Dirk has to be a big wet blanket and save everyone. Jake has his first kiss. Caliborn makes his presence known.

This episode covers pages 5203 - 5262 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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"The problem with Homestuck is you don't know how much you should be thinking about something, because the story will either call you an idiot for thinking about it, or say you should have been thinking about it the whole time"

In our first ever episode recorded in-person, we discuss setup for the end of the act. UU's whole deal is revealed. Sam critiques the meat/candy storytelling theory. Ari thinks the bunny might be in a box. Bastian creates a space for gay priests to meet each other. We also solve the mystery of tumut.

This episode covers pages 5085 - 5203 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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Things start to accelerate towards the end of this act, as the characters of Homestuck have a discussion about storytelling. uu defeats UU. Everyone shows up on Derse. Ari calls a reveal, and goes on a predicted Columbo tangent. Sam gets excited about a chess game. Bastian explains Abraxus.

This episode covers pages 4983-5084 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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Happy 4/13! In our two year anniversary episode, we delve into softcore porn, and share our favorite bits that haven't made it into episodes. Ari realizes Homestuck is the original Riverdale. Sam has a hard time keeping himself from saying a name. We learn more about the UUs' deal, and Dirk throws his hat in the ring for author of Homestuck.

This episode covers pages 4932 - 4982 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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This week, we discuss the horrible future that awaits all humans once the oceans flood and entertainers become powerful fascist demagogues in the future. Also we talk about Homestuck. Jake dreams. Dirk comes out. Jack Noir is here too, and did he stab some people? Sure did. Aranea talks.

This episode covers pages 4841 - 4931 of Andrew Hussies's Homestuck, which is best read at the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

Find us on social media if ya want.

Or not. I can't tell you what to do.

The gang talks about the point and click nature of the opening of A6A3. Sam takes Vis Media to court, and the salamander voice returns. Bastian creates the Serious Business drinking game. Also: god tier Gamzee is just Tingle from the Legend of Zelda, Roxy needs to get her priorities in order, and we share some book recommendations!

This episode covers pages 4820 - 4840 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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In this week's episode of Serious Business, The gang discusses the Ghostbusters II MMORPG. Also, Andrew Hussie dies, Terezi goes to therapy, and we get some more information on the other trolls. Also Ari talks about Peter Pan 'cause... come on.

This episode covers pages 4728 - 4816 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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The gang discusses Homestuck evangelism, Sam takes us on a tour of the rest of the story, we discuss Dirk's opinions on Centaurworld, and Ari gets confused about Dirk climbing up stairs. Also, a cat funeral is held, we discuss the metatextual significance of undyingumbridge, whose u's are small, and Jane enters.

This episode covers pages 4595 - 4666 of Homestuck, which is best read at the Unnoficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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It smells like teen drama in here. Dirk Strider begins his journey of the splintered soul. Also UU is here to talk about the story to the characters, A mysterious, non-Vriska spidertroll appears, and the Jakestakes kick into full gear, resulting in the most secondhand embarrassment conversation in Homestuck.

This episode covers pages 4517 - 4594 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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In the first Serious Business episode of 2023, we meet Roxy Lalonde properly! This girl is into cats, cloning, and a true haxxor. Also there's some stuff dealing with High School romance, how Dirk and Roxy are trans, and the names of our midwest emo bands.

Gonna be honest, this episode went some personal places I didn't expect. Happy with how it turned out though!

This episode covers pages 4420 - 4516 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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In which we finish the first intermission of Act Six. Gosh, it's nice to see these kids again. Sam struggles to say Frustracean. Nick Cage reveals his plan. Karkat has a mental breakdown, and Infinity Mechanism is such a damn good song.

This episode covers pages 4346 - 4419 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

In this episode, covering the most boring part of Homestuck yet, the group talks about The Mountain Goats, Barenaked Ladies, and Sandman. Also we do talk a bit about Homestuck. Hussiebot appears. A three year journey begins, and is it even possible to trust the audience to realize a payoff if the story doesn't call attention to it?

This episode covers pages 4286 - 4345 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web archive.

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Yeah, there's probably only 20 good minutes of analysis in this episode. Whatcha gonna do about it?

The gang finishes A6A1, stop caring about the boner cage, and talk about our frustrations with this part of Homestuck. Also discussed, Ari's con experience will never be the same, A short Serious Serious Business Business, Dad's strap games, the comic/RPG DIE, and the roles of skeptics and overly trusting characters in stories.

This episode covers pages 4208 - 4285 of Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive. 

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Check out Binging Barbie! They do great work: https://anchor.fm/bingingbarbiepodcast

After a bit of a break, the group starts into Act Six Act One. Everything's the same and slightly different. We meet Jane Crocker and Jake English, and a new troll appears. As we choose our own adventure through this section, Ari mispronounces Ophiuchous, Bastian develops a new cosmology, and Sam mispronounces the screen name of every single alpha kid. Jane is the least valid character in Homestuck. Jake is Colombo. 

This episode covers pages 4113 - 4207 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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On this, the 11th anniversary of the day Homestuck broke the internet, we look back on the very flash that did that - [S] Cascade. Plots converge and characters die as the critical moment arrives. We also discuss Intermission 2: The Man in the Cairo Overcoat, and talk about the differences between Doc Scratch and Lord English.

This episode covers pages 4109-4112 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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Welcome back to Homestuck, now with 100% more Catholicism. In the second part of today's episode, the hosts discuss ancient Alternian fashion, a reason Homestuck was AWFUL at cons, and we continue to look for a sponsor.

This portion of the episode covers roughly pages 4032 - 4108 of Act Five Act Two of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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In the first part of today's upload, our hosts talk about the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum heist, and Betty Crocker looms large on the horizon. As they untangle the myriad of plot lines, they discuss which troll is most likely to join the Addams Family, and the worst rap-off in the history of paradox space.

This portion of the episode covers roughly pages 3874 - 4032 of Act Five Act Two of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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In which our hosts visit Doc Scratch's apartment. We discuss the death of Queen Elizabeth, the death of Homestuck's queen, Vriska, and our opinions of John Egbert's favorite film. Also covered: God Tier Ressurection, storytelling medium changes, multiple plot threads going on at once, and if the Doc Scratch insert is worse than the Hussie inserts.

This episode covers pages 3763 - 3873 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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As we near the end of Act 5, this section explores grief in different ways. John gets the Tumor, and finds out that Jade's pen pal is, in fact, Colombo. A seer descends. A seer ascends. Everyone beholds the glory of Zillyhoo. We reach the end of the Homestuck books, and Sam attempts to get a sponsor.

This episode covers pages 3659 - 3762 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

If you work for Disk Traders and you want to sponsor us, Get in touch!
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As Murderstuck comes to the kid's session, we examine the events surrounding Scratch's creation and finally see Rose's conversation with Doc Scratch. Bastian says his piece on vehicular manslaughter, Ari speculates about the the nature of Lord English, and Sam makes a bold claim regarding the existence of lies of omission in storytelling. Also discussed: Conditional Immortality, whether or not Dave Strider would be a good uncle, and the nature of Grimdark-ness.

This episode covers pages 3546 - 3658 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

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Murderstuck progresses on the meteor, and your hosts love to see a goth girl winning. We get a tutorial on Dream Bubbles and Sam has an ephiphany about Tavros's character arc. Also discussed: Vriscourse, how nice Davekat shipping is, an actual good tutorial on dream bubbles, and Gamzee as a figure of white fear.

This episode covers pages 3438 - 3545 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.

Content Warning: This episode contains mentions and discussions of clowns. If that's a problem for you, maybe sit this one out. Also there's a bunch of murder, in case that wasn't clear.

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Our hosts progress into Murderstuck, from Feferi's lapses in judgement to CSI Terezi. We try to remember not to turn our back on the body. Also discussed, How cool our dads are, the importance of frogs, and murder clowns!

This episode covers pages 3301 - 3437 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck Web Archive. 

Content Warning: This episode contains mentions and discussions of clowns. If that's a problem for you, maybe sit this one out.

Get in touch! Follow Serious Business on twitter: https://twitter.com/SeriousBusPod. Leave us a message at our tumblr: https://seriousbusinesspod.tumblr.com/

The episode you've all been waiting for. A clock counts down, the most important character in Homestuck revealed. Hussie nearly breaks the fourth wall. Megalovania plays, and Tavros takes charge. Also discussed: Jade's role in the surveillance state, and whether or not Homestuck really is just furry bullshit.

This  episode covers pages 3178 - 3300 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read at the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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In which the gang does some light heresy. It's the god tier episode! John dies (but he's fine). Dave chooses to not die. Tavros gets traumatized. Jade does some alchemy. The secret wizard grotto is explored. Also discussed is Sam's lack of ability to keep up character voices, the dangers of macrodosing on Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and how Lin Manuel Miranda's a coward for not making a Homestuck musical.

This episode covers pages 3075 - 3177 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck,  which is best read through the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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The gang finishes the first third(ish) of Act 5 Act 2. Topics of discussion include the Land of Frost and Frogs, how confusing the dream bubble tutorial is, the captcha arms race, and how Tavros, while still the narrative's least favorite character, is gearing up to do some heroism.

This episode covers pages 2946 - 3074 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read through the unofficial Homestuck web archive.

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In which we talk about the Insane Clown Posse, the Hussnasty art style, Gamzee, the arcs of pretty much every beta kids, and Squiddles. OH! Also Jade enters the medium. It's the day she fucks everything up. And we also see what we've pretty much always known: Two Karkats are much, much worse than one. 

This episode covers pages 2793 - 2945 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck.

 Caw Caw Motherfuckers

Surprise! We haven't forgotten how to make episodes shorter than an hour. In this episode, we talk about Dave Strider's arc, the Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory, and The Alterniabound game. Also, Vriska falls in love with Nic Cage.

This episode covers pages 2759 - 2792 of Act Five Act Two of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck.

The group begins Homestuck's longest section with no subdivisions: Act Five Act Two, "He is already Here." We celebrate the return of the Beta Kids, discuss the troll/kid pairings that are forming, and highly enjoy the Rainbow Rumpus Partytown Fiasco. Also discussed is Toby Fox's The Baby is You. Sam shows off his knowledge of the comic. Bastian makes a tasteless joke; if you get it, my condolences. Ari just thinks Rose's new outfit is neat.

This comic covers pages 2626 - 2758 of Homestuck, which can best be read using unnoficial Homestuck Collection. https://bambosh.github.io/unofficial-homestuck-collection/

It also mentions Toby Fox's The Baby is You, which may be disturbing to some listeners, but can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOJwB80oCWk.

The crew finishes Hivebent, learning the true purpose of SBURB. We also discuss the different ways stories conceal information from readers, shipping in Homestuck, the trans-timeline memos, how everyone was comphet in High School, and dare to ask: What if Sebastian from The Little Mermaid was a mobster?

This episode covers pages 2532 - 2625 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck.

In which the gang talks a lot (probably too much) about Troll Romance. Also we meet the last two trolls, discover a new SBURB mechanic, and experience the most meta moment in Homestuck. We're nearly back to the kids.

This episode covers pages 2392 - 2531 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck.

The gang rounds the bend into the home stretch of Hivebent. In an episode where the Sams demonstrate their drift compatibility, we discuss Alternian vernacular, whether or not Homestuck counts as a cyberpunk story, teenage emotions, and the stunning reveal that all twelve trolls are actually in a single game session. We also meet Kanaya Maryam, and there are a few times Sam should be sent to the bonercage, but didn't bother to check the continuity on what troll classpects we know yet...

This episode covers pages 2274 - 2391 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck.

Some people love her, some people hate her; Either way Vriska Serket has entered the story. Also here is the most repugnant character in Homestuck, who we probably spend too much time thinking about, and the Cueball of The Felt (along with some important exposition).  

In which the gang covers pages 2194-2273 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, nearing the midpoint of Hivebent. 

In this, our one year anniversary episode, the gang continues through Homestuck: Act Five. We meet Tavros Nitram, Aradia Megido, and Nepeta Leijon. Also discussed are Terezi's Smell-o-vision, How fake dragons are (they aren't in case it wasn't clear) and the beginning of a cycle of revenge.

This episode covers pages 2100-2193 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which you should probably be reading on the Unnoficial Homestuck Archive.

*Content Warning: From 45:35 - 47:59 there is a discussion of lynching.*

The crew begins on Homestuck Act Five: Mobius Double Reacharound, and as the narrative shifts focus to the trolls and Alternia, we bounce all over the place from Faygo to kangaroo courts to how utterly awful ~ATH is as a programming language to taking a moment to appreciate the Homestuck Reddit community. Ari checks their notes. Bastian takes us through the Juggalo redemption arc. James cracks some jokes. Sam struggles to keep us on track. And we're joined by our first ever guest: A cishet white man! Truly the amount of diversity here is staggering.

This episode covers pages 1989-2099 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck. 

In this, Serious Business's longest and most self-indulgent episode yet, we pause and take a look back at Homestuck so far: how it was good, how it was bad, and different ways to read it. We also take a few moments to discuss this podcast, and things we could have done better. We also laugh at ourselves - like a lot.

(Hey, check it out, new episode art!)

 In which the gang finishes Act 4 of Homestuck: Flight of the Paradox Clones. Topics discussed include how cute adiosToreador is, the largest flash animation thus far - [S] Descend, the nuances of zeugma, and the bunny that was in the box.

This episode covers pages 1934 - 1988 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is availible to read at Homestuck.com. (Though you should read it on the unnoficial Homestuck Archive)

(Also yeah we know that Mao Zedong's form of Communism wasn't the same as the USSR's. It was a good joke to put in though)

In which our hosts discover the origin of our protagonists, send a record number of people to the boner cage, talk about how Nana Egbert is the most baller character in Homestuck, and perform our first musical number.

This episode covers pages 1865 - 1933 of Andrew Hussies Homestuck, which is availible to read at Homestuck.com (but you should really get the unofficial Homestuck collection. It's much better to read there)