The Archivist
By SheShallConquer
The ArchivistJun 23, 2021
How to recognise the language of survival
What are the types of words you use most often when talking about work?
I have found myself using harsh, abrasive, and aggressive words when talking about my interactions with other people. I find that it extends to the way I think and respond to certain situations at work. I believe I might be treating work as if I am fighting for my own survival, rather than it just being a day job. This probably impacts my brain and my ability to respond to situations with the best of my thoughts, ideas, and empathy.
How to tell better stories
Why do you tell stories?
I am busy reading The Whole-Brain Child by Dr Dan Siegel with my mom. One of the points from the book I keep going back to is about how telling stories helps us integrate parts of our brains. Sometimes I struggle with self-doubt and wonder why I tell my stories at all. Perhaps there is a way to think about storytelling, not by looking at the quality of the story, but more by looking at what storytelling does for us and our ability to make sense of the world around us.
How to connect coffee with the sacred
How strongly do you feel about your coffee?
Sometimes I feel I might be too dependent on the substance, so I have tried to create practices that will enhance my appreciation for it. Some days I feel like I depend on it more than others, and maybe sometimes, it becomes more of a prayer for me.
How to find ground beneath you
Have you also felt this sense of groundlessness in the last year?
At times I have felt stuck or like there isn't much to hold onto. I wonder if I could look at this sense of groundlessness like a plant being repotted into a space with greater opportunity to grow!
How to have a good breakdown
How do you think about breakdowns?
I often look at breakdowns as bad and problematic for my long term well-being, but the other day, when reading through Pema Chödröns Welcoming the Unwelcome, I stopped to examine the way I approach breakdowns. What if, instead of seeing them as I would see the breakdown of a car, I think about them as the breaking of a wave—just as it is?
How to build a space you want to live in
It is a privilege to talk about difficult and important topics with people that know you and understand you. This is a discussion between me and my university friend, Solo, about what it means to find your feet in a new city. In this case, it's Cape Town. I really appreciated his insights on everything from the idiosyncrasies of a new place to the wild dreams of what life could be when you commit to stepping outside of your comfort zone.
Here are some of my key takeouts
- Good things take time
- Make use of the small opportunities
- Build a space you want to be and live in
- Change is difficult but is also an opportunity to learn about yourself
- You never know how long you will be in a space
Also, after this conversation, I bought a couch a year after moving in. I'm left asking myself who I want to be and how to support myself in getting there with more kindness and self-compassion.
How to stay balanced using mundane moments
Glitter is a strange and often polarising object. Besides the environmental damage caused by these small pieces of plastic, in some instances, it has come to embody the self-indulgent behaviour of desecrating floor space with everlasting impact, just for a single event. To other people, it could be an indicator of something tasteless. I think this is part of what makes glitter such a wonderful concept to me, maybe part of me loves the irreverence? The other thought to consider is that if significant meaning and perspective can be found in even something like glitter, there is hope and significant opportunity available to find the mindful moment amidst the seeming chaos of everyday life.
The message is not so much about glitter as it is about paying attention, finding wonder in the ordinary, and coming back to a sense of centre when and where possible.
Resource Links
- Gestalt Therapy — G. Yontef & L. Jacobs
- Contemporary Gestalt Therapy: Field Theory — M. Parlett & R. G. Lee
- Perls With Gloria Re-reviewed: Gestalt Techniques and Perl’s Practices — R. H. Dolliver
- The Case for Going Gentle — R. Lampert
How to keep thinking innovative thoughts
Recently, I've experienced some creative and mental fatigue. I've still been trying to take in a lot of information, but have been trying to be more selective and go with the material that will inspire me. I happened to be sitting down with a cup of tea when a passing butterfly migration got me thinking and reflecting.
As a thought experiment, I've tied 5 different butterfly observations to ideas about thoughts, but in short, Let your thoughts move like the butterfly migration. These 5 themes are about paying attention, flight patterns, waiting, favourable conditions, and allowing fluctuation over time.
I do wonder, what are the meaningful artefacts you return to? What are the stories that you can use to explain the essence of who you are? How do you return to this when you are feeling fatigued? How do you interact with your thoughts and what are your patterns of innovating?
References
How to overthink well (A public apology to Howard Gardner)
This week, something sparked in my brain while listening to an episode of the Economist's Babbage. It was an interview with Howard Gardner on his theory of Multiple Intelligences and the Synthesizing Mind. I've always struggled with this theory, but this time it all made sense. I then looked into more of his work to try to understand why the way I think can be so different from others.
I often get told that I'm "overthinking" or "overcomplicating things" when I just feel like I'm thinking normally. I think Gardner's framework on synthesis can help me unpack what people mean when they say these things.
Resources and References:
- Economist Interview with Howard Gardner
- Howard Gardner speaking on Intelligence
- The Synthesizing Mind: Making Sense of the Deluge of Information
- More from Howard Garnder
- Fun facts: Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel
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How to sit with failure
If you're anything like me, failure is avoided as far as possible and can be a terrifying or lonely place. My first reaction is a type of dysphoria where I push back against any acknowledgement of failure, but eventually, I have to come to terms with what is. Before getting to the productive aspects of failure, I need to go through the tragic confrontation of this fear and feeling of failure.
- Soothe by letting go and offer yourself the kindness to sit in the sorrow
- Wait and release your expectations, paying attention to this experience
- Accept the groundlessness and make peace with new information about who you are and are now
This is a combination of me unpacking my understanding and a series of messages to my future failed self.
Resources:
- Defeat - Khalil Gibran
- When Things Fall Apart - Pema Chödrön
- East Coker - TS Eliot
- Setbacks
- Failure is an option
- The Prophet - Khalil Gibran
- Embracing failure - Olivier Serrat
- How to fail with Elizabeth day
- Define your fears
- The dream we haven't dared to dream
- The benefits of celebrating failure
- Finding another way
- Turn failure into success
- Know the taste of failure
- Introduction to When Things Fall Apart
- Failure is just failure
- Cringe