Sigmund Fraud

Afghan translator and American hero Amir Baba Rahim Khan Ali Taheri Hassan is still struggling to obtain citizenship. And certainly in this gig economy, Amir could benefit from a good therapist! Unfortunately, Amir goes to that real Sigmund Fraud Ian Herrin instead. And would you believe once again, Ian behaves inappropriately? I mean, how many times does this guy need to be an overly sexualized goofball before people realize he's a hack?? Get out of there, Amir! You deserve better!!

Gertrude Gertrude is a celebrity dog walker struggling with stress in her life. But if there was ever a therapist that would add to stress, it's got to be that Sigmund Fraud of a shrink Ian Herrin. Perhaps not all problems require quick, creative solutions? And Ian definitely doesn't have his plane analogies down. Get out of their, Gertrude! Don't let him charge you a 15x rate!!

UH-OH Santa's back in the therapy chair!! It's another annual Santa Fraud, a holiday tradition!!! Peak into the madness of Ian Herrin in his own therapy session for once! Also, Santa doesn't appear well....

Tara Leroy is struggling with her assertiveness when standing up to other people, so much so that her boss still thinks her name is "Kara", which it isn't and never has been. And wouldn't you know, the office stray dog seems to be even more of a helpful resource than Ian in actually helping her make tangible steps towards achieving her goals. Real strength comes from within, Tara! Believe in yourself and not a stoolie informant to the police and parents like Ian! You don't actually need to go to med school to become assertive!!

Nepograndbaby Alan Thomas has a terrible diet and misguided career goals. And wouldn't you know, by visiting a real Sigmund Fraud of a therapist like Ian Herrin, he's only more likely to become a more violent danger that the government feels the need to keep an eye on. Some food items just don't mix well together! And not all TV stars are nice people you'd want to be friends with like their characters!

NBA conspiracy theorist Terry Bathwater wants to blame Adam Silver for everything. And by going to a non-professional amateur hour poor excuse for a therapist like the Sigmund Fraud Ian Herrin, he's likely not going to break his bad habits anytime soon. Is this even a therapy session or just an extended conversation about Memphis and barbecue??? Sounds like both these boys need to calm down and maybe not watch basketball if it's going to upset them so much. Plus, why did Ian pull out a calculator and start doing math?? Like, no patient ever wants to forcibly fall asleep because math is happening, but apparently Ian didn't get the memo.

Chair-rison Ford is a talking chair that bears no relation to Harrison Ford. Wait, what?? What is happening??? Is Ian on drugs??? How is this not explained???? Ian's so checked out from sports it's like this freaky magical realism doesn't even phase him! He just gives more terrible advice and aggressively turns the session sexual as always! Get out of their, Chair-rison! You deserve to be an inside chair if you wanna be!!

Former member of the W. Bush White House and current assistant to Dracula, Sue (redacted) seems to have issues around people pleasing and troubles saying "no". Can you imagine a worse fit for a real Fraud of a therapist like Ian Herrin?? Ian is just bound to prevent Sue from recognizing her problematic patterns if he forces her to constantly dissociate! Get out of there, Sue, Ian's even worse than the Count!!

The sick and twisted mind of the Saw documentary series John Kramer should be seeking therapy to help curb his psychopathic games. By instead seeking insight from a real Sigmund Fraud of a therapist like Ian Herrin, John seemingly walks away from this session with more evil scenarios and targets than ever before. Trigger warning if you are a celebrity or politician that chooses to listen to this!

Bryce is a middle manger at a start-up who has a last name, but as his chosen family is two accountants, he doesn't always share it freely. Clearly Bryce would have a lot to discuss with a real therapist, but instead by choosing to see a Sigmund Fraud like Ian Herrin, Bryce seems condemned to a life of constantly questioning if he's good enough or has any real friends. Keep talking to that person who could be your new commuting buddy, Bryce! And maybe find a bit more work life balance so that COAs, APIs, users, and all that junky tech startup stuff become but a distant memory of who he used to be, how he used to be, when he used to be that person, where that person used to be......

Regional manager of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond Henry Edwards has had it up to here with his ungrateful employees. But rather than examining whether or not he might be the problem, don't you know that selfish Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin is immediately ready to blame Henry's employees and let the boss off the hook. And wouldn't you know the conversation turns to plotting violence again awful quick??

Bingey St. Darlin' has a very unique dating life that up until this point has been successfully kept a secret. And if there's one person that's always unqualified to give relationship advice of any kind, it's that Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin. Be very careful of whom you take home from a dance club late at night! You never know who her mother might be!

Private Investigator Richard Drummond has yet another case he just can't seem to crack, and a gruesome, complicated one at that. But why on Earth would such a grizzled ex-cop ever think such a Sigmund Fraud of a therapist like Ian Herrin would ever be able to help?? Does Ian reach for some conclusions? Sure. Emphasis on reach. And just because you've found a conclusion doesn't mean it's the right one. Don't trust him, Drummond! Follow your own instincts and chase your own clues!!

Clark Winston seems to be a regular lovely guy that just needs a little help talking to his wife about his fear of riding a horse before his upcoming vacation. But when that Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin gets involved, metaphor after metaphor seems to confuse Clark down a dangerous and potentially lethal path. No one wants to see you sleep with the fishes, Clark; get out of there and get real help!!

Filmmaker Miranda Cross and her crew have a secret long since forgotten at the Holiday Inn Express, but clearly it still weighs heavily on her mind. But with a no good Sigmund Fraud of a therapist like Ian Herrin on her case, Miranda seems like she's going to lean into some bad behaviors at Ian's behest. There are certain sins that are worth breaching therapist-patient confidentiality over and this most certainly should qualify!

Eccentric rich man Pickles Johannesberg is up to so many nefarious undertakings it's truly tricky to keep track of all the mischief afoot. And Ian Herrin is such a terrible Sigmund Fraud of a therapist he seems to act more as Pickles' accomplice than a guardian of mental health should. Children deserve to know who their father is and some Jimmy's deserve hats. And even if Pickles is a little Wario like, he probably doesn't want to hear it from someone he's trusting in a therapy setting. If you or a loved one encounter Pickles in the wild, run away before he dandelions!!

Davey Bo Davey is a junior software engineer whose a little down on himself after having been passed over for a promotion by his very demanding boss yet again. And wouldn't you know, by seeing that Sigmund Fraud Ian Herrin as a therapist, he's only going to make it worse on himself? Maybe accessing your inner boss toddler isn't always a good thing! If HR doesn't get along with you, perhaps going to war isn't the best idea! And no matter what you do, NEVER make your role model a friggin' DJ!!!

Matsuyama is a samurai who deliberately curbs his sexual desires in order to access his full and often violent powers. But if he thinks that Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin is gonna do anything productive to help him think about sex less, he is quite literally sorely mistaken! Not to mention I'm not even sure if Ian has a baseline understanding of the male reproductive system? What would your chat friend Batman say, Matsuyama?? Get out of there and don't give up your powers!!!

Tykel Phelps has a very particular job that's become increasingly stressful, but it's a very babyish decision at best to think seeing the Sigmund Fraud of a therapist known as Ian Herrin would help with anything! No no, instead Ian this week seems keen to play his body as a musical instrument, miss out on some basic observations about his new client, and reaches to assume Tykel has several celebrity relatives based on flimsy evidence at best. Get out of their, Tykel, before Ian has you start crying for real and not just for work!

A young nubile time traveling German boy like Fritz Von Trap deserves better therapy than that Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin is capable of giving. What could've been a delicate conversation about blooming male sexuality instead quickly becomes about porn and butt plugs. Fritz, think of Ian as the Wig Man in the Wig Shack and STAY AWAY!!!

MTA officer Mike Costanotzo suffered an "incident" that he's not all too fond of bringing up right away despite his captain's recommendation he go to therapy three or four times. But it's an endless feedback loop of trouble when a problematic officer like Mike meets up with a problematic therapist like that Sigmund Fraud Ian Herrin. Ian, therapy isn't like lawyers, you can actually call out some of this bad behavior if you think it's in the interest of public safety! Perhaps Mike shouldn't have the power to wield all the weapons he claims to have a right to have! And for God's sake, stop engaging him in sports talk as it's a clear distraction from his cop crimes!!

John Wick oddly seems like he's doing surprisingly well under the guidance of that terrible Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin, but with show anxiety in the air, Ian finally seems like he's ready to reverse all of John's progress in one day. Lean in to your inner David Attenborough, John! That's the best side of you! Some improvisers can do sketch and some sketch performers can do improv and switching between the two is okay and even healthy sometimes! Don't let Ian coax you back into a life of violence no matter how cool or fun to watch it may seem!!

This can't be real?? A Nightmare Clown that embodies the fears of children?!? A literal friggin' demon!?! Well it certainly doesn't have a chance of getting its existence back on track if it's going to Ian Herrin for therapy! That's the one demon even darker and scarier than it is!! Not everyone is cut out to be a Toxic Avenger! For goodness sake, these two are even struggling to remember basic superhero names! Although Oopsie Poopsie does have some impressive Hancock knowledge oddly enough...

Jean de Vil, daughter to Cruella, mostly just wants to talk about her nail salon. But wouldn't you know with Ian Herrin as her Sigmund Fraud of a therapist, Jean will almost definitely never get a chance to expound upon her love for her part time work! Instead would you believe Ian somehow steers the conversation towards his collegiate rivalry? And what about Jean's mysterious relationship with her celebrity father?? How's Jean ever supposed to get to the bottom of what's really going on with her if all Ian does is make her do tricks during meditation???

Jazz Swelltet is a psychopathic rage filled murdering stepfather with a Denim obsession from Rhode Island. But does the Sigmund Fraud of a therapist Ian Herrin hold Jazz accountable for any murdering at all? No. Of course he doesn't. Instead he's once again laser focused on his own romantic interests and references to Broadway musicals. And what Ms. Swelltet is doing behind and in front of Jazz's back is truly obscene, even for a private therapeutic consultation. If only they had spoken more in Scottish accents so we wouldn't have to understand the dumb dumb things that they say!

Gary Whiel is a happy go lucky wanderlust spirit still grieving the end of his celebrity relationship. But if there's one therapist on Earth bad at processing breakups, it's gotta be the most fruadest therapist there is, Ian Herrin. You know you can't open up about one of your traumas from a past college experience Gary, because Ian will never let you stop unpacking every disgusting detail! Also, your last name is lovely and spelled appropriately despite what Ian says! Call me crazy, but I'd even go as far as to say maybe drones shouldn't be used in mental health settings??

Lady Ruth Brookwillow insists on being called Brooke despite that not at all being her name. But at least she GETS IT and puts her absolutely terrible therapist Ian Herrin in his place immediately and repeatedly. Brooke doesn't have grief! She's merely the distinguished heiress to a French butter fortune ordered to therapy by her team of lawyers after her husband accidentally Humpty Dumpty-ied himself. Although would you believe this is yet another session working more on Ian than Ian's patient?? Believe it, and it's horrifying as per usu.

Chet Wonder finds himself trapped in a deep LARP life under siege by orcs. But with a Sigmund Fraud like Ian Herrin as his therapist, Chet is doomed to never be able to reach his full potential and value his community of friends with similar interests. Ian is actively breaching ethics by talking to your parents so much, Chet! Also, I think you should stop buying self-help books especially ones that are marketing unrelated expensive skin care products!!

Bruce Blank makes lifelong friends everywhere he goes. So why does this terrible therapist Ian Herrin keep jumping down his throat about it?? There's nothing wrong with having a lot of friends! And there's nothing wrong with having a lot of interesting things in your wallet! Don't let the fact that Ian is a single, jealous, bitter ex-friend to Selena Gomez interfere with your opportunity to have community with everyone everywhere in the world all the time!

Born "God", Big Chillin' is perhaps the biggest example of psychopathy to ever enter the office space of the truly terrible therapist Ian Herrin. But what else could you possibly expect from someone whose most neutral and least chaotic friend is an actor known for his brain injury. Big Chillin' purports to be making a major life decision between choosing the path of Catholic religious righteousness and the downward Hell spiral of video games, but it does seem that he made his choice to pursue the devil a long, long time ago. Maybe if Big Chillin's dads had been more honest with him about their lifestyle, that level of open communication could have helped him to grow, but instead, Chillin' found Ian, and so now these two insanely offensive wackadoos won't accomplish much of anything besides offending anyone within their earshot.

Oh poor skater burnout dad, Ed! You really haven't had a lot of loving women in your life, have you? And you seem to be fully neglecting your two boys! Maybe your talent level at skating isn't good enough to justify your hobby? Of course, I could say the same about that Sigmund Fraud Ian Herrin and his little "therapy" hobby he's so obsessed with! All he does is talk about improv and commandeer the therapy to be about him, AGAIN! He brings up illicit drugs and sexual activity, AGAIN! Don't listen to this filth, moms of the world!!!