Small Beans Audio!

Small Beans favorite Katie Willert stops in to discuss the long, hard road of trying to break into Hollywood, the many odd jobs she's taken in the interim, and how to appreciate what life gives you, even when it's not what you expected. Michael opens with a short story that lasts about forty-five minutes, in case you Skippers were wondering.

Katie Willert discusses stalking celebrities and appropriating black culture on-stage! Sarah Griffith discusses more times she vomited, because of course she does.

The second episode of WDRG? FINALLY gets to the bottom of what dinosaur real good. Turns out it's BIG, too! Co-hosts and dino-pals Abe Epperson, Bridgett Greenberg and Michael Swaim debate the virtues of the Dreadnoughtus, the big one you don't wanna fu' wi'.

Art by Small Beans members.

Wicked guitar riff by Abe Epperson.

Writer/comedian Talia Jane recounts her travails dealing with John Cheese (real name Mack Leighty), whom she helped to out as a serial sexual harasser and general creep this year, in spite of a startling lack of support from the systems we expect to support us through that type of thing. Wonder where all of Cheese's Cracked by-lines went? After hearing about Talia's shitty experiences and kickass responses in the face of those experiences, you won't anymore.

DRUMS! But also the nature of art, genius, nature versus nurture, and sound editing perfection. But mostly DRUMS! Cristian helps Michael and Abe bring fresh eyes to Damien Chazelle's non-La La Land movie. SPOILER: WE WILL NEVER COVER LA LA LAND.

A brand new Small Beans podcast evolves before your very eyes in this initial episode of What Dinosaur Something Something! Co-hosts and dino-pals Abe Epperson, Bridgett Greenberg and Michael Swaim debate the virtues of the prehistoric turtle the size of a VW bug that was the Glyptodon.

In an epic crossover and out-of-order episode of CBB, Abe and Michael are joined by David Bell and Tom Reimann, their analogues over at the Gamefully Unemployed network! All four convene to strike Buster Scruggs wile the figurative iron is hot. Does it work? It appears to do, yes!

Cody Johnston of Some More News stops by to discuss the Cracked Cigarette Tree and how it relates to one of the more important games ever made. A truly crafty deep-dive into the mine of gaming, friendship, and the ways in which our relationship to virtual cubes says a lot about who we are as people, you know?

Abe and Cristian fend off Oumuamua, those little guys from Mars Attacks, and Galactus all at once by delving into our species' (extensive) hypothetical experience and (limited) actual experience with alien invasions.

Michael ropes Katie Willert and Abe Epperson into discussing his favorite scripted comedy -- 1993 Alex Winter vehicle Freaked -- for fifty minutes, thereby destroying any credibility he once had as a film analyst.

On this episode of My Top 8: a relationship podcast about friendship, Maggie sits down with May Leitz (AKA Nyx Fears) as they discuss how films shaped our idea of friendship and why Jack and Sally may have sent some wrong messages.

Abe and Cristian attempt to save all science fiction and the sanity of costume designers everywhere with an argument for why aliens may, in fact, be roughly human-shaped. Find out why that's even not the weird part; the weird part is how WE'RE shaped. We're freaky! Boobs shouldn't exist! Hate your body for whole new reasons along with us.

Get ready for some contention, some reaffirmations of fraternal love, and some going super duper fast! It's Adam and Michael dissecting Sonic CD, and, as they so often do in the process, the very nature of their friendship.

Comedian, book-carrier, fuck-not-haver and College Humor mainstay Katie Marovitch joins hosts Bridgett and Sarah to discuss a truly diverse set of topics. These include why hugging your grandma is harder than kissing your dog on the mouth, writing garbage bullshit horoscopes to trick dopes, and childhood sociopathy!

Happy Halloween! In honor of all those burned at the stake due to mass hysteria surrounding witchcraft, here's Soren Bowie forcing Mike and Abe to cover possibly the worst movie ever featured on the show. Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Creature From The Black Lagoon, and The Wolfman team up to kill lots of cops, fail to kill several children, and hang out on the Universal back-lot. Laugh along with us, your mouth presumably stuffed with candy corn!

This aggression will not stand, man.

It's the age-old struggle between coal and rocketry! We cover one of Abe's favorite movies with the help of Gamefully Unemployed's Tom Reimann, and admire some old-fashioned rocket boys.

Three Word Phrase creator and Cartoon Network animator Ryan Pequin graces the show with his opinions on a bright start to a new AAA franchise about robot dinosaurs and the people that love to slay them.

Biba Pickles discusses art, battling bi-polar disorder, and covering her body with cereal and self-inflicted cigarette burns. It's a party!

From Blade Runner's vision of Los Angeles to just plain old current-day Los Angeles, the PCPD boys delve into Megacities both fictitious and all-too-real. Judge them with Dredd and you Coruscan't go wrong!

The Bechdel Cast host Jamie Loftus returns to ride the roller coaster of hacking, sexual assault, efficient Swedish filmmaking and Daniel Craig that is TGWTDT. Abe and Michael are also there to kick a hornet's nest and play with fire, respectively.

The beloved Abe Epperson sits down with Maggie to talk about his experience as a "drifter" in middle school and high school, and how he eventually decided to start cultivating lifelong friends. He also has a very strong opinion about the word "LOVE" in friendships, VERY strong.

The Coens--and therefore this podcast--start to hit a serious stride with the sixth installment, Fargo. Now entering one of the Coens' Golden Ages! So it is with one eye on the horizon and the other on the giant Paul Bunyan statue ominously looming overhead that we plow right into a snowbank of greed, impotence, mindless violence and what will surely stand as the best wood-chipper scene in movie history.

Menendez Brothers trial juror Hazel Thornton, author of Hung Jury, stops by to discuss her time engaged with one of the most high-profile cases of the century. Topics include gender bias, political bias, and flow charts.

Just in time for about a month before the release of the sequel, it's Red Dead Redemption! Adam and Mike invite returning favorite Vanessa Gritton to read her divorce/glitch journal, and help decide whether to keep or delete this Rockstar classic.

Comedian, writer, director and Cracked alum Carmen Angelica finally joins the Small Beans pantheon by bravely exposing some of the truly unfortunate fashion/life choices that have haunted her lo these past twenty years. Co-hosts Bridgett and Sarah commiserate, as is their wont.

After narrowly surviving an encounter with a wild cloud of marijuana vapor, comedian, journalist, author and host of Behind The Bastards Robert Evans joins Abe and Michael to punch Nazis. Or at least analyze a great film about some serious Nazi-punching punks. Reach right through this door here and give the episode a listen! Seriously, nothing bad will happen to your arm. We don't know why you'd even insinuate that.

Comedian and writer Hana joins Maggie to talk about getting by with a little help from friends, what happens when we forget we have friends (you're probably not as alone as you feel!), and defends her favorite friend duo.

Cristian and Abe delve mandibles-first into the Dark Universe (tm) of sci-fi monsters, strange animals that defy explanation, and how the twain might meet.

Bridgett Greenberg, co-host of Rough Stuff, takes a dose of her own medicine in The Pit and gets personal about her relationship to anxiety, panic attacks, and spinning tubes.

In their most explosive dust-up so far, Adam and Michael square off to demolish and enshrine (respectively), Michael's favorite game that Adam also played and thinks is just fine! Gamer and comedian Vanessa Gritton joins to incite violence, Michael nerds up the end with a Fallout rap, and Adam and Mike's friendship is forced to bust out a couple stimpaks to survive.

Brace yourselves, because the Frame Rate gang are covering disgraced comedian Louis C.K.'s final aborted film, I Love You, Daddy. SPOILER: It sucks! We discuss why!

In the Coen's second number, Nic Cage and Holly Hunter prove that it takes a village to kidnap, raise, almost kill, and then return a child. Join hosts Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson for the ride.

One soldier's experience serving in the Army in Iraq, and, later and much more importantly, as one of the biggest Small Beans around. PCPD host and fixture Cristian Ramirez tries to explain to Mike what war is really like on this week's Tales from the Pit.

Frame Rate takes aim at the original Nazi-scalping history-changers, the Inglourious Basterds! Daniel O'Brien sits in to help dissect Tarantino's bloody masterwork.

It's the Citizen Kane of cover-based first-person shooters with robust multiplayer and vehicles! Adam and Mike take on the original Halo, and trace its impact through Destiny and all the way to Destiny 2, if you can believe it.

Tim Robbins, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Pryzbylewski from The Wire, Ash from Evil Dead, Paul Newman and the Dad from Frasier all join forces to invent the hula hoop. It's the Coens' first flop, and one of Michael and Abe's all-time favorite films. You know...for kids!

Maggie sits down with Director Cody Ziglar and talks work friends (are they real friends? Or only cross-over potential?) how to identify the elusive 'fake friend,' and Cody gives us some advice on easy ways to stay in touch with our old friends.

Rough Stuff is back, and more humiliating than ever before! Join hosts Bridgett Greenberg and Sarah Griffith for a jaw-dropping, face-palming ride through the most torturous moment of comedian/actor John Paul Green's childhood. There's sex, phones, and parents involved, so you know it's gonna be pretty bad. Enjoy JP's pain! Hope it make you giggle!

Michael and Jonny bring you the news of the week, both Small Beans and otherwise.

Host of The Bechdel Cast and comedian/hacker extraordinaire Jamie Loftus joins Michael and Abe in suddenly realizing that a movie they thought was really funny as teens is now wildly uncomfortable to sit through. If you like Small Beans AND Judd Apatow, listen to the episode and prepare for one of those things to change!

Maggie sits down with writer and Audible queen Erin Mallory Long. Are our romantic partners also our friends? Why don’t we ever want to go to parties? Does it count to consider yourself as a friend? Grab a seat, Erin's got some wisdom to share.

Those who plumb the Pit discuss the thin, sad line between grief and a bout of depression, practical ways to know when you're depressed, and practical ways to address it that you probably won't take advantage of while you're depressed, but hey, it was worth a shot. Maggie Mae Fish, host of My Top 8, joins to shed her light on these and a number of related topics.

Please note, you can only listen to this 1Upsmanship episode if you already have the Morph Ball, 15 Super Missiles, and the thing that goes on the other thing to reveal the secret thing. Join Samus, Adam and Mike for a rousing discussion of gating and how it makes games possible but also frustrating!

It's a story of three generations of an American family. I've always wondered why no one's done that! Join perennial favorite Katie Willert to tackle the complexities of motherhood, and how sometimes, you just gotta hit your kids with a belt in the rain.

Abe and Cristian explain Stephen Hawking's lame party invite, the primary jokes that Science has, and the tangential intersection between "real" science and sci-fi time travel awesomeness.

Maggie sits down with writer and comedian Bailey Norton, who put on a one-woman play in the middle of a basketball court. Did it help her make any friends? No! Join us as we talk childhood friendship, best friend syndrome, and owning up to when we were not great friends.

Join Michael Swaim, Abe Epperson, and presumably Milhouse Van Houten and Nelson Muntz in a thoughtful discussion of the Coens' treatise on the act of screenwriting itself. Get ready to finally understand that sink rain shot!

Do synths dream of synthetic sheep? And if so, does that justify their total enslavement for the purposes of salvaging an apocalypse-ridden postwar 1950's-style Earth? Vanessa Gritton joins Michael and Adam to parse the philosophy of Fallout 4, burn Boston, and argue about the potential future of the franchise.