Small Town Radio

"The guest is always right. From now on, I am Connor Kwiecien." - Name Redacted

Your favorite podcast hosts who specialize in talking about small towns, and both happen to be New York City comedians, welcome the hilarious Lukas Arnold to the road trip. You may know him as a TikTok superstar, great comedian or voice actor, but Maxim and Connor are fortunate to know him as friend. 

Lukas has been a long-time listener of the show. With his great knowledge of tiny towns, the hosts asked him some questions that have lingered throughout the episodes. Together the three voices behind the microphones take a step back to review some past questions, gain some perspective and finally get some clarity as to whether Connor should introduce himself with his name. 

“Have you ever tried to family feud without murder?” 

That's something we thoughtfully ask ourselves this week on Small Town Radio. This episode, our hosts, Maxim and Connor, explore the baking heat of the desert and mountains of hillbilly country. We're taking you to Pikeville, KY and Furnace Creek, CA.

“This podcast should be called: Insight into the Small Town Radio Host Club on Video,” said Maxim. That's because massive technical difficulties are common and this episode is no exception! Last week, lights went out. This week, Connor gets vaporized and sent to another dimension! It's all good though, this episode we learn about Helen Keller's hometown and a place with a giant pet rock on a leash! We're headed to Tuscumbia, AL and Pineville, KY.

“I feel like there’s enough things I’m chasing in my life that I don't need to track down Bigfoot.” - Name Redacted 

This is a statement that holds true for lots of people, but not all of them. Here at Small Town Radio, we're not chasing Bigfoot; we're chasing Bigfact. This week we have a special two-towns-and-a-lie lightning round episode! We're going to: Miracle Villiage, FL; Whittier, AK; Heartland, VT; Hogfield, TX; Ochopee, FL; and Jellico, TN.

"I Googled: Funnest Small Towns in America." This move is also known as the "Small Town Radio Classic." Such a simple research method delivers surprisingly good results! This week we talk about loners in the Rocky Mountains and a place with WAY too much to do. We're headed to Gothic, CO and Gatlinburg, TN.

"Hello folks at home!” is what Connor's dad says when he interrupts this episode of Small Town Radio. Unfortunately, Maxim's cat, Pickles, does not make an appearance at all. This episode we talk about tug-o-war and mannequins! We're headed to Ropetoe, IN and Gleeland, MT.

“You won’t have to worry about staying away from your grandparents. They’re just going to stay away from you.” That is, if you haven't washed your hair since this whole Coronavirus thing started.

This episode of Small Town Radio is another exciting quarantine episode with your hosts, Connor and Maxim. The world might be gloomy, but we are doing our best to bring a little bit of joy to your headphones. This week it's all about cars and puns! We're headed to Elkhart Lake, WI and Cope, SC.

“You know what? I’m still going to go out and touch faces with faces and hands with hands.” - is what no one should be saying right now.

This episode of Small Town Radio is the first of many to be recorded with Connor and Maxim, your hosts, in two completely different places due to the Coronavirus. Connor is safe in his parents' home in Exeter, NH and Maxim is trapped in his bedroom in Brooklyn, NY. We're not here to talk about quarantine being a bummer though, we're here to bring you the BIGGEST facts about the SMALLEST towns. This week we've got Exeter, NH and Pella, IA. 

“Do you guys Drink Green Beer as a Family?”

We don't, but we're sure plenty of you do! This week on Small Town Radio your hosts, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien, explore a couple of places that like to have a little extra fun on St. Patty's day. Shamrocks, leprechauns, and fake funeral processions are on our minds this week as we explore O'Neill, NE and New London, WI.
 

"You can get 60 cats for the price of a cow. That’s the point I’m trying to make.” 

Big time math on small town radio. What else would you expect? This weeks, your hosts, NYC comedians Maxim and Connor, are joined by Caleb Clark who does real good photography. Much, much better than our grammar. In all sincerity, he is a very talented visual artists who also happens to be a funny comedian. Join all three of us as we travel to Ripton, VT; Hayes, KS and Georgetown, CO. 

"Why do you need to climb all the way up that mountain when there’s perfectly good poop at the bottom?” 

Well, that quotable has nothing to do with Coach K's GPA. However, after 20 episodes, hosts and New York City comedians, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien, finally break form and spiral into poop jokes—for a good reason. They're funny. We will admit not all poop jokes are funny, but they are when their origins lie in a true event from one small town that drops moose droppings from a helicopter. This week, join our hosts as the travel by talk to Talkeetna, AK and Lyndhurst, Hampshire, England.  

Horny Vegan: a person who does not eat or use animal products, unless they are an aphrodisiac.

The creation of this definition came together in part thanks to our talking trip to Rowayton, CT, where oyster fishing was once quite the big deal. Other stops on this virtual road trip include Okay, OK and Abilene, KS. New York City comedians, and sometimes podcast hosts, are joined by Chris Shurr on this part of their ceaseless trek to visit all the small towns in the world from the comfort of one of the biggest cities on the planet. 

“I feel like if you’re specific enough you’re always hitting a world record.” 

"Yeah, exactly. I mean, we’re setting the world record right now for podcast hosts who have done the most episodes about small towns from New York City... In Crown Heights.”  

We'd like to thank the Academy for this award. While  specific, it is the only award we have. Shout out to the people who shout us out and a big thank you to those who suggest town. You guys know us. You love us. You worship us. You are our Loyal Goblins and our Loyal Cowards. Thank you. 

This week, taking a moment to accept the world record they made up for themselves, hosts and New York City comedians, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien, swing through northeast America making conversational stops at Hammonton, NJ and Williamsburg, PA. Thank you to Hafeezah for the suggestion!

"If you like it, you shoulda put a town on it. 

The listener poll on our Instagram page has led to yet another interesting name.  Last week it's "Brought To You By Friends Who Don't Listen," and this week it's "Flat Earth Math." Hosts and New York City comedians, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien, are learning a lot about you all. 

With the Super Bowl the day of our recording, we decided to make up some football team names for small towns in California and Missouri. Our towns, and gracious hosts of imaginary football teams, are Death Valley Junction, CA; Nicasio, CA;  Zzyzx, CA;  Tightwad, MO; Chillicothe, MO; and Plato, MO. 

“Will CDP make my joints feel better?”

Always the most pressing questions answered about census designated places right here on Small Town Radio. Who are your hosts? They're New York City comedians, and very adequate at that, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien. With special guest Trevor Glassman from Bedford, NH, your hosts and super heroes join forces to create this episode entirely about New Hampshire.  On this segment of the virtual road trip we explore Derry, NH; Bedford, NH; and Pittsburg, NH. 

Stickers are now available for the podcast. Contact us to get yours!

“Liars! Liars! Fact check! We did it! We’re better than the Internet!”

We finally did it! We fact checked, but that's a different point. We found the smallest town in America! Shout out to Elsie Eiler and Monowi, NE, population one, for being exactly what we were looking for in America all along. After that, we venture for the first time out of the North America to a place that puts a whole new meaning on "Land Down Under," Coober Pedy, South Australia, Australia. Hosts and NYC comedians Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien go airborne on this leg of their never-ending virtual road trip. 

"This is the thirteenth episode. If we were building a building, we would skip this one.” “OOOoooOOO, this is the haunted episode.”

After 13 episodes,  and sharing some stories of murder and cannibalism, hosts and New York City comedians Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien finally ask and answer the question, “Why didn’t they just toboggan away?” That and the other most pressing questions in life on this stop of our virtual road trip where we visit Beaver Island, MI and Truckee, CA.

"We're just going to be always reminiscing about the 11 episodes we've done."

Both New York City comedians, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien, were out of town for the holidays, so as Maxim says, “We’re taking a little breakypoo.” This episode we're not exploring new towns but looking forward and looking back. Having recorded three episodes in four days in preparation for our separation, we Dr. Frankensteined an episode together with segments on building our elevator pitch, sharing podcasting insights, creating resolutions and planning a road trip from the 40 towns we've talked about so far. Enjoy & happy new years everyone!

“Compliment my casual rhyming.” “I loved it.”  

Small Town Radio is hosted by two New York City comedians, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien. With the holiday season in full swing, another lightening round they bring. Guest Alex Richards has much to say. He comes by way of Australia. An internal rhyme. Enjoy.  This lightening round has irregular boarders in Point Roberts, WA; Akwesasne, Mohawk Nation; and Angle Inlet, MN as well as alternatives to the New Year's Eve ball drop in Tallapoosa, GA; Princess Anne, MD; and Eastport, ME.   

“People tell me, ‘Oh, this podcast is very conversational.’ I’m like, ‘Yeah because we’re a couple of idiots having a conversation.'”

Small Town Radio is hosted by two New York City comedians, Maxim Allen and Connor Kwiecien, who sometimes call themselves idiots. After a long wait of 10 episodes, Connor finally wins the intro which means neither host said their name until the episode was almost over. A holiday miracle. A big thank you to this week's sponsors: Pickles, Maxim's cat, and forgetting to put on deodorant. Join us on this stretch of our small town virtual road trip where we stop in Carmel-by-the-Sea, CA and Taos, NM.  

“You know the radios they hold when they’re listening to NASCAR or watching NASCAR in the stands? They’re just listening to our podcast.”

"Today's episode is brought to you by the letter: everybody has a gun" 

A non-political podcast hosted by us: Maxim and Connor, two New York City comedians. We take you around the country, and sometimes around the world, to small towns with fun facts. Shaking up the format this episode, we pop into places with unusual laws and funky festivals including Frozen Dead Guy Days and a town where everyone is required to own a gun. 

"You've been moisturizing? I've been moisturizing!" These and more loving words to kick off the season of thanks.  

The sixth episode of Small Town Radio with your hosts, Maxim and Connor, brings you the Mayflower's contested landing spot and the amusement park boom.  Highlights on this part of virtual road trip include Plymouth, MA  & Lakeside, CO. 

“This podcast is about learning and reading things wrong.”

The fifth episode of Small Town Radio with your hosts, New York City comedians, Maxim and Connor.  This episode: pumps and nut crackers. Highlights on this virtual road trip include Iron Mountain, MI  & Leavenworth, WA. 

"The great depression never ended if you’re a comedian.”

The fourth episode of Small Town Radio with your hosts, New York City comedians, Maxim and Connor.  This episode is our final format for what this show will be. We found the Goldilocks. Highlights on this virtual road trip include Christmas, FL & Smith Island, MD.  

“I’d like to be a better informed person overall."

“Not me. I want to know less things. With that being said, don’t read your next fact.”

The third episode of Small Town Radio with your hosts, New York City comedians, Maxim and Connor.  This episode we cover almost the right amount of towns. Highlights on this virtual road trip include Lahaina, HI; Bethpage, NY & Langtry, TX. 

“Listen. If the first thing on our mind is food and water on a road trip, I’m going to be dozing off the whole time. If the first thing on the list is machetes, I am super into that road trip.”

The second episode of Small Town Radio with your hosts, New York City comedians, Maxim and Connor.  This episode we cover too many towns in great length. Highlights on this virtual road trip include Idyllwild, CA; Fort Benton, MT; St. Malo, LA; Skagway, AK; Regent, ND & the Town of the City of Dawson, a town in the Canadian territory of Yukon.

“I’m barely emotionally equipped to handle this podcast.” 

The first episode of Small Town Radio with your hosts, New York City comedians, Maxim and Connor.  This episode we cover too many towns. Six to be exact. Highlights on this virtual road trip include Bluff, UT; Guffey, CO; Alton, Il; Hampstead, NH; Traverse City, MI & Centralia, PA.