Sofia’s Social Segments

Change is constant so be a consistent forever learner. That way adjusting to change will not be such a challenge. Instead, it will open doors of opportunity.

In all relationships, we must be routine, intentional, and present when communicating. Practice these ideas when parenting your children to help build and stabilize relationships.

In this episode, I am sharing ideas about different forms of communication. We often communicate with others, with our bodies, and with ourselves. Be kind and intentional when communicating.

Join me and my youngest daughter, Dava, as we discuss weightlifting. Dava will share some background details as to her journey. She will shed insight on how she continues to succeed in the sport.

It would not be a new year without goal setting. This episode dives into the specifics on how to achieve our goals using action plans and quantitative and qualitative ideas.

It’s another unedited and real deal conversation at dinnertime with Our 7. This time, all 7 share their feelings and thoughts about COVID-19, mask wearing, school, and etc. Of course, I give feedback, guidance, and encouragement.

We are back at it! In this episode, all 7 of our children (and the dog) are a part. Join us for an original and unedited version talking about their return to school and how they coped with nervousness.

Disclaimer: Bear with us in this episode. It’s loud. It’s noisy. It’s annoying. It’s not polite at times. You will hear the words shut up and hush. It’s not mannerable at times. It’s unprofessional and not grammatically correct for sure. But it’s real and entertaining. It’s our dinnertime conversations that we have daily. And our talks keep us in touch with one another. They are definitely needed and full of lightheartedness, laughter, and love.

Here’s a reminder of how great you are and how even greater you will become. It’s a few steps to take while setting and accomplishing goals.

Happy Mother’s Day! Here’s a short letter to all you mommas out there. Be encouraged and remember, our children need us.

It is important that we show up and show out in whatever place we occupy. To show up and show out, we must be willing to be our best selves and freely give positive energy.

This. It’s a laundry basket full of clean clothes. Of course, these clothes were once dirty. Dingy. Maybe even a bit smelly. But now, after an intense wash, rinse, and spin in my Maytag washer with my Tide Clean Breeze, they have been cleansed. Ready to wear again. Ready to serve their purpose. But as long as I choose to leave the clothes in the basket, they serve no purpose. They remain dormant, wrinkled, unsorted, lifeless, and useless.

This idea reminds me so much of people and self improvement. Oftentimes, we as people notice our shortcomings like our mistakes, our bad decisions, and our setbacks. We acknowledge where we went wrong. We are open to change and have changed. However, inside of us is idea after idea. Thought after thought. Lying dormant. Full of wrinkles. An unorganized clean mess. Vibrant but lifeless and useless at the same time. We are waiting to rescue ourselves from ourselves. Unfortunately, some never do.

Be encouraged. You have evolved for the best or perhaps you are still evolving. That’s ok. What’s not ok is that you sell yourself short. That you don’t show up for yourself. Take all that is within you and use it to your advantage. Your self improvement is for you to use as you see fit. Reach deep inside, pull it out, shake out the wrinkles and wear it. Wear your self improvement. Wear it just like its your favorite shirt.

Investing in yourself is necessary to accomplish your goals. 2021 has been full of distractions that can easily detour goals. Be sure not to invest in distractions. In this episode, learn 3 simple steps to keep you on track with investing in yourself and reaching your goals.

Procrastination is the action of delaying or putting something off. Although our procrastinations are often individual and secret to others, it can manifest openly in many different forms.

Procrastination affects all people of all ethnicities from all socioeconomic groups and of all ages. From males to females and 15 year olds to 65 year olds, procrastination exists. Just ask my 15 year old daughter, Necia, who has a new year’s goal to not procrastinate. She inspired my thoughts as to this topic.

I call procrastination the silent serial killer. Why is that? Simple. Procrastination is not accounted for. It is hoarded in one’s mind and often silent to the outside world. It kills dreams, goals, and intentions over and over again. Procrastination is a repeat offender that goes unnoticed until it manifests externally.

Procrastination effects its victims in more ways than stealing and killing our plans for advancement. It is the culprit for anxiety, depression, and even low self esteem. If procrastination seeps in, it plants seeds of worry, sadness, hopelessness, and inadequacy. Not seeing that task through (which is procrastination at its best) leads to those very ideas. When procrastination attacks mental health, one’s physical health is at risk too. Studies show that feelings of depression lead to headaches, extreme fatigue, and even vision problems.

Be encouraged. You have the power to penalize procrastination. Practice some positive self talk that goes against the procrastination. Identify a trustworthy accountability partner who you can share your intentions with. Be willing to be called out as to your pending plans. Write your goals and include deadlines. And if you don’t meet those deadlines, make sure you made progress and keep moving in the right direction. Procrastination does not have to be your silent serial killer. Call it as you see it, and stop procrastination in its tracks.

Distraction Attraction. Beware.

Distraction. Interruption. Disturbance. Intrusion. Interference. Obstruction. Call it what you may. It’s a distraction. And if you are attracted to distraction, you surely will be led off course. Here we are. Not even two weeks into 2021, yet we have been overloaded with distraction. The distractions are so evident, I need not even mention them in specific. Distractions are all around. Life itself is a distraction.

Speaking for myself, when distractions are presented, I question my management capabilities. How are you managing your due outs despite the distraction? How much time are you spending feeding the distraction? How is your mood effected by the distraction? My momma once told me that distractions come to rob you of the greatness that is ahead of you. Stay your course. And if my momma said so, it might as well be The Bible. I’m sure the principal can be found throughout those pages.

Be encouraged, you can live a life of success despite distractions. You can accomplish your goals in the midst of left and right distractions. Simply stay focused on the task at hand. Take necessary steps that will move you closer to your finish line. It’s not the distraction that swallows us up. It’s the attraction. The distraction attraction. Beware.

2021 is here. Check your rear.

So, I have been asked who am I trying to prove something to. I have been told to “slow my Mustang down.” Not literally. I’ve never had a Mustang. I’m more of a Chevy Camero type of lady. In this sense, it was assumed that I was speeding my way through life. Reaching for the stars. Accomplishing lots at one time. Doing the most. Being “extra.” I admit. I have always been a hard charger. A go getter. Goal driven. Mission oriented. Focused. There was a point in my life where I could do just that. I was responsible for just me - Sofie. Yes, I married at a young age. However, I have never been the type to depend solely on someone else. Neither do I find it healthy to be completely responsible for another adult who is capable of caring for himself. So I wasn’t concerned with the idea to “slow my Mustang down.” At that time, I was driving my Mustang as fast as it could go. We call it “overspeed” in the military. What was in my rear view mirror was not a priority. I must say - that worked out well for me in various areas. I built a strong foundation. Stabilized. Organized. Established. In other areas, it crippled me. I am still repairing and rebuilding in those areas.

Now, life for me has changed quite a bit. I try not to drive “overspeed.” That’s mainly because I’m a mother to 7 children who are my absolute greatest blessing. I have to check my rear view for them over and over again. I can’t leave them in the dust. They need me just as much as I need them. I have finally “slowed my Mustang down.”

Be encouraged. A new year is upon us. Be open to what 2021 brings. No one knows you better than you. It’s ok if life is a little slower pace than before. It may be your time to check your rear. Perhaps it’s not. What I know for sure is that as you travel your path of life, someone in your rear is looking ahead to you. You may not have children. But it could be family, friends, or that stranger who has admired you from afar. Adjust your speed and give yourself the opportunity to check your rear. I’m not saying stop in your tracks. Just consider that someone else may need something you are hauling. Tap the break.

The rain is associated with slowing down. It can be compared to obstacles that we encounter in life. These obstacles make it difficult to navigate our day to day tasks. In the midst of the rain, we must remain resilient and keep pressing forward. Setting a positive example for our youth in the midst of the rain/obstacle is a must. On the opposite side of that rain or storm is a rainbow, sunshine, and a beautiful life.

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, here is a reminder of thankfulness. In The 5 Ws of Thankfulness, we explore the When, Where, What, Why, and Who of thankfulness.

In this episode, my 14 year old son (Eric) gives us some insight on working his first job. Eric and I have honest dialogue about the his experience.

As parents, it can be a challenge to find or keep our sanity while giving so much to our children. This episode gives 5 ideas that will benefit your day to day while maintaining or producing sanity. Me Time, We Time, Free Time, He/She Time, and Jubilee Time are ideas that will benefit the day to day lives of all family units. Implementation of these ideas will make for a more cohesive family unit. It will improve relationships and get rid of the day to day craziness that may try to exist.

👀 This is what children do. Fill the trash up, let it overflow and act like there is no problem‼️

At first, this really annoyed me. 😤 Then, this thought came to my mind. 💭

Sometimes, we as humans let trash fill us up. We overflow with mess and act like it’s ok. We ignore the problem(s) instead of emptying ourselves of the mess.

Today, this trash was emptied. However, it will fill up again. We will deposit more junk into it.

As humans, I hope we are cognizant to not just deposit junk into our bodies and our minds. In most cases, we simply deposit “life.” Life happens. Life can be messy. But what’s important is recognizing when we are filling up with junk/life and finding ways to dump mess. 🗑

I encourage you. Empty your trash. Empty your temple of mess. We all have our areas. Don’t overlook the opportunity to do better and be better. 💯

There are numerous techniques that are beneficial in teaching us how to effectively LISTEN. In this podcast episode, I explore a few techniques to utilize when communicating and having conversations. What is most important is that we learn to LISTEN using this idea: Let It Settle This Ego Now.

My oldest son, Eric, was leaving for school this morning with this.

I asked him why he had such a BIG binder with only a few pieces of paper in it. Who needs a 3 inch binder to carry around almost empty? That’s when I realized that his BIG 3 inch binder is necessary. It’s almost empty now but not for long. He’s a child who is ready and willing to learn lessons and take notes. He will fill up his BIG 3 inch binder.

My thoughts.......We as people often walk around near empty when we have the space and capacity to be so full of life. Still, we choose not to use our full potential or fill our lives up with all things good. Because of that, we may experience sadness, loneliness, and feelings of being inadequate.

Be encouraged. You have been equipped to live a full, healthy, wealthy, and prosperous life. Choose to fill your life up with what brings you joy and gets you to your goals. When life brings negative situations, re-write that page. Sometimes you may have to rip out a page (or 2) and start afresh. It’s ok. We all have been there.

In this episode I address the idea of how faith over fear is important while navigating to our life’s purpose. There will be times that fear tries to take ahold of us while trying to reach a goal. That fear may come from family, friends, or even strangers questioning our next move. During this time, it is important that we refocus our attention to where we are headed. Making quality choices, sticking to those choices, and staying true to ourselves is necessary. I also share 7 why questions that others asked me along my journey. If I had chosen to walk in the fear of those questions, I would not be living out my life’s purpose. Our children must continue to see us make quality choices and walk in our purpose. It is important to their growth and identity.

Oftentimes we associate a broken heart 💔 with a negative connotation. A broken heart can symbolize sadness, loneliness, and depression. In my studies, it even has a name - Broken Heart Syndrome. It is caused by traumatic life events such as the death of a loved one, a physical injury, or even an emotional memory. The syndrome occurs when a surge of stress hormones cause short-term heart muscle failure and then death.

My thoughts: Although the typical broken heart is painful, it proves that love resides within. The pain is only felt after a love experience. For instance, these heart shaped candy holders serve their purpose when filled up with sweet treats. What’s inside is useless to the consumer if it is never opened up. All the good stuff is on the inside. It’s just like our human hearts. Until we open our hearts and let love flow in and out, no one will ever experience all the good on the inside.

Be encouraged and know this. Opening your heart or being vulnerable is risky. It can lead to a broken heart for better or for worse. The joy experienced along the way is well worth the risk.

On another note, be willing to let your heart be broken for the better. Be willing to let love in and let love out. Sometimes it takes a child to come along and open your heart to feelings and ideas you never knew existed. I can relate. My 7 children have “broken my heart wide open” but in a good way. For that, I am grateful; it’s well worth the risk. 💯

In this episode, I will explore why it is important to find that hobby, calling, or purpose that brings ultimate joy. Way before I held the titles of wife, mother, and soldier, I was just me, Sofie. As life progresses, we transform but can lose our unique identity. In this episode, we will explore how to find your flame, fan it, and keep it alive.

This beautiful butterfly started off as a caterpillar, of course. What’s odd is that the caterpillar spun its cocoon inside of a cage. When it hatched, it was not able to free itself. It was only freed when someone came along and took the time to notice its unfortunate challenge.

My thoughts.......sometimes we are born into situations that may confine our potential. It is difficult for us to free ourselves because we are restricted and restrained. Some don’t have the same opportunities as others who are born in “better” circumstances.

I relate this to the idea of systemic racism, structural racism, or institutional racism. Some people are born into a system that makes it difficult for them to freely reach their highest purpose here on earth. It may take a person on the outside to look in, find the door, and open it to release that individual who is gazing at what seems to be impossible.

Be encouraged. If your are that butterfly waiting for the opportunity to flap your wings and behold the world, don’t close your eyes. Stay diligent and do your part in life. Someone from somewhere and somehow will notice you. Your opportunity will manifest. Seize the moment each day by making good choices and building where and how you can.

If you have the means and opportunity to help others, do so. Everyone does not enter the world on the same playing field. Use your blessing to bless others. Reach back and pull someone up and out with you. The sky is the limit, and the space is limitless. There is room for all of us to fly.💯

Photo Credit: Lauren Taylor Wymes

In this episode, Zavian, my 4th child of the 7, talks about his feelings and how he coped with Hurricane Michael 2018. In talking to him, I realized that as his parents, his father and I put measures in place to safeguard his mental health. Join us for this episode to learn a few tips that will help traumatic events not be so traumatic and dramatic for our children.

These shoes have seen better days. Perhaps they should have been tossed months or years ago. In their prime, these Kenny Griffey, Jr. baseball officiating shoes were effective in providing for hours of comfort to my husband’s feet. It looks like they have served their purpose and need to be replaced. However, for months they have remained in the closet waiting for the next time Darelle cuts grass. Today, they were trashed.

My thoughts.......we hold on to not only items but also ideas or actions that are wore out. Their seasons have passed. Some ideas or actions may have worked for us years ago but no longer serve our purpose. They don’t move us forward towards our destiny. Instead, they slow us down just like these shoes with the flapping soles.

Be encouraged. It’s ok that your today does not look like your yesterday. You may have to move in a different “pair of shoes.” Your old pair or way of getting tasks done might have to be thrown out and replaced. Sometimes, change is needed even if we are unwilling or think we can repurpose the idea.

Be ok with letting go of the old and welcoming the new. Eventually, the new will bring you comfort and success. You may have to break in those new pair of shoes or ideas. But in the end, you will look better, feel better, and be better. 💯

I am concerned that my children reported “lots of fights at school.” The behavior of a child is shaped by who they spend time around, what they spend time around, and and where they spend time around. As parents, we must be intentional in parenting and focusing on the who, what, and why.

The other week I needed to run a quick errand. I didn’t want to be gone long, I knew exactly where I was going, and it was an easy task. So, I jumped in my little black car to zoom on down the road.

Let me back brief you.......

My little black car had a tire that was low on air. I noticed the warning ⚠️ earlier that day. But, I chose to continue to drive a car that could possibly end up on the side of the road. I had accessed the car myself. The tires have less than 8,000 miles, and the tire didn’t look flat or feel flat. Although my dashboard continuously showed the air pressure dropping, I figured I would be fine to keep going for this one quick trip.

When I got to where I was going, the air pressure was even lower. Not trusting the car’s sensor, I stopped to buy a manual tire pressure gage. It read low air pressure too. 😳 I knew I needed air so I called up a friend who is familiar with the area and located a spot to add some air to my tire.

I was back on the road with 4 tires full of adequate air pressure. That didn’t last for long. The same tire began to lose air at a quick rate. I found myself only 5 miles from home sitting in a store parking lot with a flat tire.

I said all that to say this: I was warned. I knew the possible outcome. I even had a backup vehicle I could have driven (my big black van). However, I wanted to do things quick, fast, and in a hurry. My big black van was not easy enough for me. I could not maneuver and weave it in and out of traffic like my little black car. So I chose what I thought was the easiest and quickest knowing there was an issue. My 1.5 hour errand turned into a 5 hour errand.

My thoughts.......sometimes we make decisions that seem easy and quick but are not best for us. It feels good and looks good. We know of the problems but put ourselves in harms way still. We are given sound guidance/warnings to avoid areas and even given grace while in the midst of our not so good choices. Not choosing wisely can cost us time, money, energy, and in the end, delay us on our route to our next destination.

Be encouraged. Don’t make decisions based upon what is easy. Analyze your decisions. Weigh the pros and cons. Avoid actions that may leave you stranded, abandoned, in danger, detoured, and unfulfilled. We are in this thing called “life” together. Choose to listen to the warnings signs/people in your life to keep you on track. We all need guidance as we travel our journeys.

In this episode, I discuss 3 ideas/actions parents can take to equip their children with winning mindsets. These ideas have proven to be successful in my case of developing children who play sports and dominate.

Life brings so many changes and often times we do not change with life. This episode focuses on the acronym LET GO to analyze when we should let go of ideas or areas in our life and transition to what is next for us. As adults, we set the example for our youth. It’s imperative that they see us LET GO. We must train and teach them in analyzing when it’s necessary to also LET GO.

Welcome to Insightful Segments, an addition to Sofia’s Social Segments. Insightful Segments consists of limited content and spoken word narrated by me, Sofia. It will post as bonus content to provide words of encouragement to the audience of Sofia’s Social Segments. In these 5 minutes or less segments, I will use various objects and ideas to reflect an insightful meaning to spark conversation and a personal self evaluation. Be sure to study the picture of each segment to better understand and relate to the spoken word. It is my hopes to inspire you to think outside the box while positively propelling you throughout life’s journey.
I saw this detergent in my laundry room and wondered why one was turned upside down. Usually we turn it that way when trying to drain the last bit of it. However, both containers are full.

That’s when I noticed the upside down detergent has a hole in the bottom. It’s damaged. It’s different than the other detergent but still the same. They have the same potential and the same use. Although it is leaking, I won’t discard it. I won’t throw it away or waste it. Instead, I will pay close attention to it, handle it with care, and continue to use it.

My thoughts.....life is full of obstacles or situations that may damage us as individuals. We are hurt by people or our own choices. Either way, what’s on the inside of us is still usable. We have the same potential that we once had. The challenge we face is how we choose to use our contents despite the damage we have encountered.

Be encouraged. You may have some dents and dings from not being handled with care. It’s ok. We all do. What’s important is that we recognize our potential and learn how to reach our goals without wasting all that is within us.

This podcast episode is dedicated to my 7 children. It’s our 3 year adoption anniversary, and our adoption is all that and a bag of chips! It didn’t start like that but we prepared for it and continue to prepare for it everyday. Learn the ins and outs of the steps we took to get to where we are today. I hope you are able to utilize these same ideas and relate them to your own endeavors.

We have all heard the phrase, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. As cliche as it is, it holds so much truth. My middle daughter, Erica, inspired me with the lemons as I observe her making freshly squeezed lemonade and the process it takes. In this episode, I discuss how life brings obstacles (lemons) that literally wear us out. We often get tired of “making lemonade” time after time. However, it’s a necessary process that we must learn to endure and sweeten up in the process. Join me to be encouraged as you travel life’s journey.

In this episode, a teenager shares her thoughts as to public school and the pandemic. Necia, my 15 year old daughter, gives us some pros and cons of brick and mortar and virtual school. She shares her experiences in regards to the changes in the classroom and around the school as a whole.

School is starting back and parents are having to make decisions where there seems to be no perfect solution. In this episode, I discuss why our family (Olds Party of 9) will not be attending virtual school. You may agree with some while disagreeing with others and that’s ok. We all have to make the best decision for our individual households. These are our thoughts and reasons. What led you to make your decision? In what ways do you relate to some of our ideas? How can we make the best of the decision we have made? This is a topic that is on the hearts and minds of not just parents but the world. Let’s share some insight all for the betterment and advancement of our children.

It’s back to school time for so many children! Join me and our guest host, Coach Olds, teacher and child advocate, for some useful tips. It has been approximately 6 months since our children have attended the classroom environment with their teachers and peers. As they prepare to transition back into the classroom, whether it is brick and mortar or virtual, Coach Olds shares some insightful thoughts to aid in the success of our children, parents, and teachers.

The pandemic has been a time of such unrest and uncertainties. It is a time of limited peace. Because of this, we must intentionally practice ways that will make our lives more tranquil. When we practice improving our mental, spiritual, and physical states of being, the pandemic will present in a more calm way. Life stressors will not overwhelm us but instead we will cope and overcome. As adults, parents, and guardians overcome, our children will benefit from our actions and learn lessons in overcoming as well.

Birthdays serve as our very own Happy New Year! With each year, we should aspire to blossom/progress into an even greater version of ourselves. In this episode, explore the 5 W’s to learn The Who, What, When, Where, and Why. Ask yourself these questions to discover ways to make each birthday year a meaningful and blissful one.

This episode will be helpful in contributing to us being happier humans. It lists 7 verbs (action words) that we can practice to improve our quality of life. Although I have practiced most of these ideas for years now, my 7 children have made me more cognitive. I have observed my children displaying each of the positive habits. In watching them, I continue to learn and be encouraged in developing these good habits.

In this episode, I teach my audience how to manifest a dream using my unique and original SERVE acronym.

I utilize these ideas on a daily basis while sharing them with my children and helping them navigate their own dreams. The idea of SERVE has been helpful in manifesting a numerous amount of dreams, goals, and aspirations throughout the years.

This episode is comprised of questions from my audience. Listen up as I answer the questions in an honest but tactful manner. Be sure to send me more questions to hear my point of view too. Feel free to comment back and respond to my answers. Do you agree? Disagree? Your feedback is valued and welcome.

These finds will be helpful to you in times of frustration. Utilize them to forgo frustrations so that we can become better parents, guardians, and mentors.

As our children grow older, they should also grow in responsibility. This episode explores ways parents/guardians/adults can give children more responsibility that will promote growth. These 7 basic ideas are necessary for building the foundation of children’s development.

This episode is dedicated to my husband and father of my 7 children, DaShoan (Darelle) Olds. He is my inspiration as he epitomizes each of the ideas. My two oldest sons, Eric and Zavian, are my co-host in this episode. We discuss 7 ideas that fathers can follow when raising their children. These 7 ideas have proven to be beneficial in raising our 7 children.

Throughout our life journey, there comes a time when we need encouragement. This episode is just that. I even left our my list! Be encouraged while you run your race with the grace you have been given. Believe in yourself and set a positive example for our youth to emulate.

In this episode, my teenage daughter (Necia), joins me to discuss ways that we can improve mental health. We list 7 ideas that I implement with my 7 children. Necia gives her personal feedback and ideas as to the topic as well.

This episode is dedicated to my 4 BLACK SONS as they navigate this world of uncertainty. It contains a tool that children can learn and implement as they grow and go through their daily activities.

This episode is dedicated to all the fallen men and women of the military . It is a special tribute to SPC Daryl A. Davis. SPC Davis and I served in the Florida Army National Guard 144th Transportation Company together. He gave the ultimate sacrifice on November 29, 2004 in Iraq at the young age of 20. I will always remember. RIP. This episode also speaks on the Army Values that I practice and train my children to display.