Soldiers of Hell

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By Soldiers of Hell
Since 1999, Andy and Spence aka Soldiers of Hell have been collecting their own brand of trading cards made of pop culture icons. It's not the only thing they've obsessed over though. Join them on pointless quests to discover who else will join their rosta.
s4e11 - From 6-a-side Football to Gazza
With the Russia World Cup 2018 on, what better way to stay fit than take inspiration from people at the peak of their powers and pretend you were once good at football by taking up 6-a-side again. In this episode we learn what muscle Spence has pulled and why Andy won't massage it. We also learn what past-time Andy will be taking part in to get his butt cheeks in shape. Does Andy care more about Eurovision than the World Cup? You'll have to stay tuned to find out - and why Gazza is our latest inductee into our hall of fame. Inger-land, Inger-land, Inger-land, Inger-land na na.
June 24, 2018
s4e10 - From Reading to Robert Crais
"Crais-y for books" This one is a literary ramble about novels, comic books, and in particular one series: The Elvis Cole and Joe Pike books by Robert Crais (although Bond and Batman obviously get a mention too). We also touch on the novels Armada and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and therefore end up in movie territory territory again. If you want to hear Andy threaten his marriage with comedy anecdotes - this one is for you. And why not talk about shelving solutions whilst we're at it. Yes we're getting to that age as other discussion points will prove in this one (Mountain Warehouse receipt - we're looking at you). Some of the stuff we talk about in this episode:
May 12, 2018
s4e9 - From Theatre to King Arthur
A Quest For The Holy Grail Join our band of merry knights as we set off in search of the world of Spamalot. Also at the Soldiers of Hell round table this week we discuss cult cinema and subject of The Disaster Artist: The Room. Will Spence get the beer he wants? And who is most deserving cult icon to join our chess set this episode? There's only one way to find out listeners...
May 7, 2018
s4e8 - From Craft Beer to Goose from Top Gun
Andy + homebrew = Soldiers of Ale. Find out what happens as we review various beers, including the first ever one made by Andy himself. Then find out what happens when you try and make him play Just Dance on the Nintendo Wii when full of said beer. Join us for our beer based odyssey. This week's chess piece is Goose from Top Gun.
March 25, 2018
s4e7 - From Retro Gaming to Shigeru Miyamoto
With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility you find it harder to make time for video games. In this episode we talk discuss modern gaming, retro gaming, gaming with kids, whether a socket set is a better present than a NES.
February 25, 2018
s4e6 - From Earworms to Richard Fairbrass
"Talk About Pop Music!" What might Spence's beef be with Andy (no puns). This time we look at the cheesy end (no puns) of the pop spectrum which incorporates chat about Adam Rickett (remember him?), Gareth Gates (turns out we've forgotten him), Destiny's Child and the inspiration behind an old sketch found on a cassette tape (remember them?). We get there via Australian Boy Bands, Scandinavian Pop Groups and finally Right Said Fred which brings us bang up to date with a Taylor Swift reference.
February 20, 2018
s4e5 - From DIY to Mark Hamill
This one goes in a meandering direction. What do DIY, dogs, cats, retro computer games, pub walks and the familiar tropes of DC and Star Wars have in common? They all feature in this episode. This time we rank Mark Hamill and resolve another item from the ledger.
January 25, 2018
s4e4 - From Festivities to Father Christmas
In the very last Soldiers of Hell episode of 2017 – the year that saw Andy and Spence rise like a phoenix from the ashes of noughties podcast chat – we pay tribute to the festive season, with a little room for Star Wars and DC. (Of course.) And therefore who better to induct into the Soldiers of Hell this episode than old St Nicholas himself. A bringer of gifts. A man with the yuletide supplies. Therefore SoH quartermaster he has to be. Sit back with a mulled wine, relax with your new noise cancelling headphones and enjoy
January 6, 2018
s4e3 - From Camping to Kristine Kochanski (w/ Geeky Guys' Dave)
Soldiers of Hell on tour! With a new series of Red Dwarf approaching, it would seem appropriate that someone from the ranks of said spaceship would finally join the Soldiers of Hell ranks. But what a way to land on a character! A boys camping trip, a ramble through the countryside, a ramble through allsorts of a topics, multiple guest voices, multiple guest ales at the Ashbourne beer festival. Just how do we end up with Kristine Kochanski via all that? There's only one way to find out. Featuring, amongst many collaborators this episode, Dave from the Geeky Guys podcast which you can also check out on Podomatic.
November 25, 2017
s4e2 - From Collecting Lego to Michael Keaton's Batman
In 1999, a slightly disturbing young man declared we are Soldiers of Hell. We are neither soldiers, nor from hell, but like obedient little sleeper agents we have gradually recruited people from popular culture to create a military force to be reckoned with. Each episode we'll be nominating someone new to join our ranks. A rank off if you will. In this week's episode we discuss beer, DC universe reboot events, lego and Soldiers of Hell Top Trumps get's a mention from the archives.
October 25, 2017
s4e1 - From Cooking to Darth Maul
The Soldiers of Hell kick off series 4 with a brand new format. No longer just chat; Andy and Spence talk you through some of their other obsessions, distractions, hobbies, call them what you will. They will also start recruiting pop culture icons to join their posse; inspired by the events and conversation of the show. In this episode find out how Darth Maul came to be called upon and let's see if Andy's culinary skills are up to scratch.
September 15, 2017
s3e6 - Roger Moore and Adam West Tribute
Two old stagers. Two legends of the entertainment industry. Two charming men. No we're not talking about ourselves. This episode is dedicated to the lightest of Bonds and the lightest of Batmen: Sir Roger Moore and Adam West no less. Favourite moments. What did they bring to their respective franchises? Why do we love them so much. It's been a sad month, but let's pay our respects.
August 16, 2017
s3e5 - Alternative Soundtracks
Have you ever watched a film and thought: I could have selected a better theme tune than that? Do you miss movies having a big song in the charts to accompany it's release? We have. And we've made a podcast about it. Which includes our own take on what could be a Saturday Night Fever replacement.
July 28, 2017
s3e4 - Venn Diagram
“There is no doubt, that researching a character called Fisto is something I would rather you do on your PC.” Are we the point at which all pop culture converges? And what’s the rudest sounding He-man character any way? In this episode of the Soldiers of Hell podcast we resolve those difficult questions plus a few more; rolling out Andy’s new ledger in the process. We also set a brand new challenge for both of us to be resolved in a future episode. Delve in soldiers!
June 28, 2017
s3e3 - Eurovision Predictions
The Eurovision Song Contest. A much loved annual event and the source of so much material over the years. In this latest episode we discuss the UK’s meagre chances in a post-Brexit referendum landscape and return to some of our old predictions over the years to see how accurate they were.
May 3, 2017
s3e2 - Minidisc Archive
In this episode, whilst battling with modern technology, we get out our retro tech recordings to add even more nostalgia to the already vintage podcast; further cementing our new found “old men” status. If you like banter about Betamax and Minidiscs, this is the podcast for you. If you don’t, well, there’s also talk about drinking on air, radio stripteases, and we answer the question: what if the members of Steps ran a shop selling escalators?
April 10, 2017
s3e1 - Return of Peter Capaldi and Dane Bowers
It's been too long since we podcasted hasn't it SoH fans? Well we're back! No longer the young whipper snappers that we used to be. A lot has changed in the world in the intervening years; although some things remain constant. Steps seem to have made another comeback and the world wonders who will become the next James Bond. This one's a right nostalgia fest - but don't worry, there's more to come. We're back alright!!!
March 23, 2017
BONUS - Transatlantic Smash Sneak Peek
Filmed in 2013, a found-footage musical feature film about comedy-pop wannabes based on the novel "What's The Deal With Europe?" by Spencer Vale and Andrew Melladay. Premiering April 2014 and available on video from Fossgate Studios Aug 2014 Written by Spencer Vale, Peter Marshall, Andrew Melladay, James Christopher and Nathan Hudson Directed by Spencer Vale & Peter Marshall Songs by Peter Marshall & The Lomos Introducing: Andrew G Melladay as Simon Bull Peter Marshall as Peter Marshall Spencer Vale as Spencer Wheels James Christopher as James Krieger Helen Dowson as Helen
December 15, 2013
s2e16 - Bugs Life
"You remember we were talking about Watching?" Let's talk about old TV, films and in particular the TV show Bugs. Remember that? With the chap from Eldorado. And the girl from The Bill. And the guy from Neighbours replaced by the guy from London's Burning. Listen and learn about things you shouldn't care about but obviously do.
October 20, 2008
s2e15 - Radio Ga Ga
September… Well, what can you say about September? Summer’s on the way out, but it’s not time to get excited for Christmas yet. There’s precious little to get happy about. However there is one thing that you can bridge the gap with. One shining aural saviour. Can a medium that is based on hearing, shine? A quality reserved exclusively for visual items? I don’t know, I’m not a physicist. But one thing’s for certain, Soldiers of Hell make for happy ears! In September’s episode: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… Radio based entertainment, televisual experience and The Piglet Files. Anyone... Anyone else remember them?
September 20, 2008
s2e14 - Pop Nostalgia
Ready… Set… Go!!! That’s right three exclamation marks after go. It deserves it, for August is the month of the year’s biggest event that doesn’t involve us… the Olympics. And as Bruce Forsythe might turn to an elderly auntie (devoid of the ability to produce offspring) accompanied by her favourite second nephew on the Generation Game and say “Didn’t they do well?”, so I turn to our precious glittering Team GB and say “Nice to medal you… To medal you nice”. Coincidence that our podcast appears at the same time the games end? Only in the way that it coincides with it… so shrug off the sport withdrawal by listening to some Redgrave standard, Daley Thompson certified Seb Co-hosted chat. In August’s episode: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… Let Loose, bands of old and their place, affectionately secured in our hearts.
August 21, 2008
s2e13 - He-Men
July comes around quickly and it's time for another chatathon with Andy and Spence aka the Soldiers of Hell. This time they might radio chat about topics that include Chatsworth hall, and the Chattanooga choo choo. Then again they might not.
July 20, 2008
s2e12 - A Drink at Every Bar in York
Having previously discussed big ambitions, Andy and Spence embark on their own challenge: to walk the bar walls in York and have a drink at every gate. Join the Soldiers of Hell on their journey and see if they get into any scrapes or receive any weird looks.
June 20, 2008
s2e11 - Video Hopes
HELLO EUROPE! I would be liking to thank you for being at our website. As we are on May, this month is all relate to the togetherness of Europe. The continent with the largemost amount of countries cornering Switzerland into a geographical landlocked corner, and a few hangers on… Israel I’m looking at you, coming together for to make music on your aural bits. Of course, it’s Eurovision, so please sit in juries, and delegate your votes onto ours poscastings. Hah… Terry Wogan! In May’s episode: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… It’s late may… have a wild guess at what obsessive stat boy Andrew wants to talk about!
May 20, 2008
s2e10 - Big Ambition
As the year march’s on, the podcasts keep coming… and this month’s podcast is, in a way, it’s own reward and subject. Ambitions, dreams, the accomplishment of near super human tasks… the very fabric of the podcast for it is both our dream and ambition, to make the very best podcast that we can, so that you, dear listener, may indulge in the aural accomplishment. In March’s *download*: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… Conquering Everest, boxing in the American borders and the pursuit of less heroic, but ultimately more entertaining goals!
April 20, 2008
s2e9 - American Cousins
It is March 2008 and in this month's download the Soldiers of Hell discuss… From sea to shining sea and everything aluminum, jagwar, diaper difference in between… the USA!!!!
March 20, 2008
s2e8 - Quick Fire
It's cold outside… and not in that Tom Jones/Cerys Matthews pervey kind of way, but in a very real, freezing, chilblains kind of way. The sort of cold that every frozen balled Siberian knows. If Valentin Dmitrovich Zukovsky was here, that knee that Bond shot him in would be giving him some right gip! So why brace that temperature and get that opposable digit chilly, stay in and put it to good use on your generic mp3 player. Enjoy… In February’s episode: The Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The pop to beard ratio, muscular tone in relation to musical success and… is that a bit of paper you’ve got there?
February 20, 2008
s2e7 - Double Time
It is a period of radio war. Rebel breakfast shows, striking from a hidden studio have won their first victory at the York Media Awards. During the ceremony, broadcasters managed to steal secret plans to the York Radio’s ultimate weapon, the SOLDIERS OF HELL. Pursued by the station’s sinister agents, Andy and Spence sit at home aboard their sofa, custodians of the stolen chat that can save podcast and restore random factoids to the internet…
January 20, 2008
s2e6 - Internet Power
In 1999, a crack comedy unit was sent to York University by adequate A-Level results for a radio show they didn't record. These men promptly graduated a degree with honours to the Yorkshire and Midlands suburbia. Today, still wanted by the fans, they survive as Soldiers of Hell. If you have a trivia niggle, if no one else can help, and if you can download them, maybe you can listen to... The A(ndy and Spence)Team. This month the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… Social networking websites, social video websites, the vastness of internet information and fun ways to abuse it.
December 20, 2007
s2e5 - Hat Trick
November is almost over, so that can only mean the weather will be getting colder, Christmas will be approaching and we’ll all be submitted to Paul McCartney’s warbling aural crime against festive music many, many times over the next 5 weeks. But if that gets too much for you, if the thought of having nothing better to do than play Chegger’s Party quiz or watch the new last ever episode of Only Fools and Horses proves too taxing, just settle back amongst the wrapping paper and 3 for 2 Boots presents you’ve bought, and listen to our podcast. In November’s download the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The re-emergence of the Staasi hat, the likelihood of fish based foodstuffs to actually have fingers, the very best of the greatest hits of the singles collections of pop stars.
November 19, 2007
s2e4 - Blind Drunk
The circle is complete, and the last tiny fonted parts of the credits are rolling, “Filmed in Technicolour”, “We’d like to thank the city of Los Angeles” and finally “MCMXXXIII”, so we leave the movies behind us and make a fresh start on topics anew. And what better way to do that crack a few beers, and force each other to drink for returning to the topics we’ve vowed never to mention again. Where will it end? What will we cover? There’s only one way to find out… download and listen. In October’s *download* the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… Well not films that’s for sure! But Saturday night TV, basic drinking game rules for the avoidance of bond trivia and the meandering waffle of drunks.
October 20, 2007
s2e3 - Third Blood
The man with the chat is back. And this time, he's bringing his Dad... well that’s not strictly true, Spence is just bringing me but it’s time for to return to a podcast... far, far away. Depending where you keep your mp3 player. 3 times the trivia. 3 times the film linkage. 3 times the terror. There can be no laughter without loss. No jokes without suffering. No podcast without sacrifice. Everything that has a beginning has an end… but hopefully not quite yet. But this is the third and final in our trilogy of films that have been in our last 3 podcasts, so enjoy. All the download limits on earth can't change destiny. In September’s *download* the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The Return of the Revenge of the Jedi King and the Last Crusade: Beyond the Thunderdome at World’s End.
September 19, 2007
s2e2 - Lazy Sequel
Now writing the “bumpf” every month for our podcast is an onerous task, and since I’ve been off work this week, and feeling lazy, I’ll contain this month’s bumpf to simply saying that even though the kids are still of school, even though the weather’s been changeable, possibly due to Rihanna, more likely due to clouds and wind, you can still find a little haven of tranquility in our podcast, just as I’ve found tranquility between getting cars fixed and DIY by watching Jeremy Kyle in my pants! In August's episode the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The continuing story of film, the full Niv Streak Reaction and more frenzied argle bargle and fuforore! Biog: In 1999, a crack comedy unit was sent to York University by adequate A-Level results for a radio show they didn't record. These men promptly graduated a degree with honors to the Yorkshire and Midlands suburbia. Today, still wanted by the fans, they survive as Soldiers of Hell. If you have a trivia niggle, if no one else can help, and
August 19, 2007
s2e1 - Movie Magic
It’s sunny at the minute, tomorrow possibly more rain, it’s been a funny old summer. Not funny ha ha, but funny “terrible flooding tragedy” sort of thing. But we’re funny, and since it’s probably raining outside, get the sandbags out and sit down and listen to some marginally obsessive cinema critical chat. And if you don’t want to, then I hope a graboid gets you…. What do you mean you’ve never seen Tremors? In this month’s *episode the Soldiers of Hell discuss… The A, B, C’s of movies, poor concept films, lazy sequels, lazy “three-quels”, and the when a B movie becomes an A movie and cult smashes get mardy.
July 19, 2007
s1e7 - Sports Commentated
It’s warm outside, there’s some sort of football tournament going on (Yes under 21’s qualify) and I’m sneezing my nose off, so it must be summer. And while you’re outside enjoying the weather, and hopefully listening to our podcast, we’re shut up in a room chattering the chatter of dedication. So enjoy the fruits of our shadowy obsession, and next time you play a sport, just think… what is the name of that game with the massive ball in the sea? In this month’s *episode the Soldiers of Hell discuss…The ins and outs of sport, what makes something comfortably saucy, and the shock revelation that Peter Shilton WASN’T an actual giant! Crikey!
June 19, 2007
s1e6 - Nil Point
Hi, we’re Andy & Spence, and April is the 6th month that we’ve been casting our pod across the web, and have we had success? Just a little bit, but don’t assume that we’re one step out of time, oh no we haven’t met our waterloo! And for that we deserve congratulations, and possibly some jubilations. We’ve toyed with topics for the show, had trouble making our mind up, but it’s better the devil you know so just watch us attack this month’s download. We’ve picked a suitable discussion for the time of year, so if you want to hear the results from the Soldiers of Hell Jury, then let your love shone a light onto our podcast… we’ve been saving our kisses for you… In this month’s *podcast the Soldiers of Hell discuss… European rapping laws, the nil points watershed and the actual watershed PLUS Celine Dion? Thanks Eurovision! Are we being sarcastic? Find out next month.
April 20, 2007
s1e5 - Geek Central
Andy and Spence get deep in this episode. I mean what could be deeper than the understanding of the difference between a nerd and poindexter? And just how big is the crossover between science fiction sagas and kids TV? There's certainly more than a passing resemblance between Geoffrey from Rainbow and Mark Hamill; a point that doesn't get past the Soldiers of Hell.
March 20, 2007
s1e4 - Celebrity CVs
Panto? Reality TV? As a celebrity, where do you draw the line these days? Should you draw the line? Should we stop asking questions of you that you can't answer? How would a Celebrity Big Brother and Lara Croft crossover movie even work? All topics that are covered in February's Soldiers of Hell episode. We're glad you're still with us. Keep it up people!
February 20, 2007
s1e3 - Stupid bets
Have you ever taken on a bet you wish you hadn't? Have we? You bet. No not the Darren Day Saturday night TV vehicle. Listen and learn soldiers...
January 20, 2007
s1e2 - Ultimate Line-ups
First let's tick off the items from last month's ledger. We leave no stone unturned to answer questions we couldn't previously answer and in the meantime create some of the greatest moustache wearing super groups of all time.
December 20, 2006
s1e1 - Beefs with Films
In their first ever podcast, Andy and Spence choose a category from the hat of destiny and stumble across Beefs with Films. A rambling topic that will reveal their thoughts on straight to DVD movies, sex tapes and the Krankies.
November 30, 2006
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