Andy and Spence are suffering from a freak strain of the millennium bug where everything they do seems to send them back to 1999 or earlier. Join them each month as they recruit a mentor with the right skills to send them back to the future. They'll discuss 2 pop culture icons and by the end of each episode we'll learn whose retro talents are as relevant today as they were in the 20th century.
Only then will the new recruits have what it takes to be declared as Soldiers of Hell. And in turn Andy and Spence will become thoroughly modern gentleman.
Welcome to Season 5 of the Soldiers of Hell podcast.
We're suffering from a freak strain of the millennium bug where everything we do seems to send us back to 1999 or earlier. Join us each month as we recruit a mentor with the right skills to send us back to the future. We'll choose 2 pop culture icons and by the end of each episode we'll learn whose retro talents are as relevant today as they were in the 20th century.
Only then will they have what it takes to be declared as Soldiers of Hell.
And in turn we will become thoroughly modern gentleman.
In the first episode of season 5 we recruit He-Man and Superman to give us some brawny advice.
Fire up your minidiscs and listen now.
Make sure you join us next month by subscribing via Anchor, iTunes or your favourite podcast service.
Please send us your suggestions for future Soldiers of Hell via Anchor or Twitter.
And if you enjoyed this episode, please give us a rating, review or share it with your friends.
This is the last episode before we dust down the format of the podcast so there's just time to discuss Jason Statham dusting down a shark in The Meg as well as other shark tales (Shark Tales not included). We also visit the Edinburgh Fringe festival, Bluedot festival and grab a soundbite with Robert Crais at his book signing. It's been a busy summer so sit back and enjoy a bit more waffle before our inevitable reboot.
Back in our old radio show days Spence used to set Andy challenges that he would have to complete via phone in. Think of it like a cross between Challenge Anneka and a remote Taskmaster with nobody to compete against by himself. Actually, as the theme tune to the feature suggests, it was more like You Bet which would be a lot more appropriate than comparing Andy to another sort of fix it person. We mean the unsavoury one; not Bob the Builder.
Anyway, in these two editions from the Soldiers of Hell Mini Disc Archive you can hear Andy try and put as many things on top of other things and fill in as many forms as he can get his hands on. But will he succeed? There's only one way to find out.
In 2007 an episode of the Soldiers of Hell was lost down the back of the sofa. Like an old episode of Dr Who we've dusted it off and made it available again to you; our lovely listeners. It includes a new intro regarding our increasingly confusing show name and the topics discussed in the show were submitted by the public. It's something we'd like to bring back with phone ins on Anchor. Why not drop us a message in readiness for series 5 which we're working on now?
In the latest episode of the Soldiers of Hell show, Spence takes a different walk home, taking the opportunity to dodge some noisy youths but still hang out with a group of birds. This is all leads to the opportunity for Andy to rake over old European coals – and for once this has nothing to do with Brexit. It is the catalyst for a joined up story that includes a cameo from Peter Marshall and The Lomos, which of course links to Transatlantic Smash, and back to Andy again via his roles in said movie: Simon Bull and Simon Coward.
All because of the What’s The Deal With Europe? song we hear outtake clips of both characters in the film and their thoughts on PMATL; not before we’ve heard about their adventures in teacup and Peter’s unusual tea making methods.
So how could we not give both Simons (who of course have nothing to do with Simon Cowell) a rank in the SoH army?So how could we not give both Simons (who of course have nothing to do with Simon Cowell) a rank in the SoH army?
With the Russia World Cup 2018 on, what better way to stay fit than take inspiration from people at the peak of their powers and pretend you were once good at football by taking up 6-a-side again. In this episode we learn what muscle Spence has pulled and why Andy won't massage it. We also learn what past-time Andy will be taking part in to get his butt cheeks in shape.
Does Andy care more about Eurovision than the World Cup? You'll have to stay tuned to find out - and why Gazza is our latest inductee into our hall of fame.
Inger-land, Inger-land, Inger-land, Inger-land na na.
"Crais-y for books"
This one is a literary ramble about novels, comic books, and in particular one series: The Elvis Cole and Joe Pike books by Robert Crais (although Bond and Batman obviously get a mention too). We also touch on the novels Armada and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and therefore end up in movie territory territory again.
If you want to hear Andy threaten his marriage with comedy anecdotes - this one is for you.
And why not talk about shelving solutions whilst we're at it. Yes we're getting to that age as other discussion points will prove in this one (Mountain Warehouse receipt - we're looking at you).
Some of the stuff we talk about in this episode:
A Quest For The Holy Grail Join our band of merry knights as we set off in search of the world of Spamalot. Also at the Soldiers of Hell round table this week we discuss cult cinema and subject of The Disaster Artist: The Room. Will Spence get the beer he wants? And who is most deserving cult icon to join our chess set this episode? There's only one way to find out listeners...
Andy + homebrew = Soldiers of Ale. Find out what happens as we review various beers, including the first ever one made by Andy himself. Then find out what happens when you try and make him play Just Dance on the Nintendo Wii when full of said beer. Join us for our beer based odyssey.
This week's chess piece is Goose from Top Gun.
With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility you find it harder to make time for video games. In this episode we talk discuss modern gaming, retro gaming, gaming with kids, whether a socket set is a better present than a NES.
"Talk About Pop Music!"
What might Spence's beef be with Andy (no puns). This time we look at the cheesy end (no puns) of the pop spectrum which incorporates chat about Adam Rickett (remember him?), Gareth Gates (turns out we've forgotten him), Destiny's Child and the inspiration behind an old sketch found on a cassette tape (remember them?). We get there via Australian Boy Bands, Scandinavian Pop Groups and finally Right Said Fred which brings us bang up to date with a Taylor Swift reference.
This one goes in a meandering direction. What do DIY, dogs, cats, retro computer games, pub walks and the familiar tropes of DC and Star Wars have in common? They all feature in this episode.
This time we rank Mark Hamill and resolve another item from the ledger.
In the very last Soldiers of Hell episode of 2017 – the year that saw Andy and Spence rise like a phoenix from the ashes of noughties podcast chat – we pay tribute to the festive season, with a little room for Star Wars and DC. (Of course.)
And therefore who better to induct into the Soldiers of Hell this episode than old St Nicholas himself. A bringer of gifts. A man with the yuletide supplies. Therefore SoH quartermaster he has to be.
Sit back with a mulled wine, relax with your new noise cancelling headphones and enjoy
Soldiers of Hell on tour! With a new series of Red Dwarf approaching, it would seem appropriate that someone from the ranks of said spaceship would finally join the Soldiers of Hell ranks. But what a way to land on a character! A boys camping trip, a ramble through the countryside, a ramble through allsorts of a topics, multiple guest voices, multiple guest ales at the Ashbourne beer festival. Just how do we end up with Kristine Kochanski via all that? There's only one way to find out.
Featuring, amongst many collaborators this episode, Dave from the Geeky Guys podcast which you can also check out on Podomatic.
In 1999, a slightly disturbing young man declared we are Soldiers of Hell. We are neither soldiers, nor from hell, but like obedient little sleeper agents we have gradually recruited people from popular culture to create a military force to be reckoned with. Each episode we'll be nominating someone new to join our ranks. A rank off if you will.
In this week's episode we discuss beer, DC universe reboot events, lego and Soldiers of Hell Top Trumps get's a mention from the archives.
The Soldiers of Hell kick off series 4 with a brand new format. No longer just chat; Andy and Spence talk you through some of their other obsessions, distractions, hobbies, call them what you will. They will also start recruiting pop culture icons to join their posse; inspired by the events and conversation of the show.
In this episode find out how Darth Maul came to be called upon and let's see if Andy's culinary skills are up to scratch.
Two old stagers. Two legends of the entertainment industry. Two charming men. No we're not talking about ourselves. This episode is dedicated to the lightest of Bonds and the lightest of Batmen: Sir Roger Moore and Adam West no less.
Favourite moments. What did they bring to their respective franchises? Why do we love them so much. It's been a sad month, but let's pay our respects.
Have you ever watched a film and thought: I could have selected a better theme tune than that?
Do you miss movies having a big song in the charts to accompany it's release?
We have. And we've made a podcast about it. Which includes our own take on what could be a Saturday Night Fever replacement.
“There is no doubt, that researching a character called Fisto is something I would rather you do on your PC.”
Are we the point at which all pop culture converges? And what’s the rudest sounding He-man character any way? In this episode of the Soldiers of Hell podcast we resolve those difficult questions plus a few more; rolling out Andy’s new ledger in the process. We also set a brand new challenge for both of us to be resolved in a future episode. Delve in soldiers!
The Eurovision Song Contest. A much loved annual event and the source of so much material over the years.
In this latest episode we discuss the UK’s meagre chances in a post-Brexit referendum landscape and return to some of our old predictions over the years to see how accurate they were.
In this episode, whilst battling with modern technology, we get out our retro tech recordings to add even more nostalgia to the already vintage podcast; further cementing our new found “old men” status. If you like banter about Betamax and Minidiscs, this is the podcast for you. If you don’t, well, there’s also talk about drinking on air, radio stripteases, and we answer the question: what if the members of Steps ran a shop selling escalators?
It's been too long since we podcasted hasn't it SoH fans? Well we're back! No longer the young whipper snappers that we used to be. A lot has changed in the world in the intervening years; although some things remain constant. Steps seem to have made another comeback and the world wonders who will become the next James Bond. This one's a right nostalgia fest - but don't worry, there's more to come. We're back alright!!!
Filmed in 2013, a found-footage musical feature film about comedy-pop wannabes based on the novel "What's The Deal With Europe?" by Spencer Vale and Andrew Melladay.
Premiering April 2014 and available on video from Fossgate Studios Aug 2014
Written by Spencer Vale, Peter Marshall, Andrew Melladay, James Christopher and Nathan Hudson
Directed by Spencer Vale & Peter Marshall
Songs by Peter Marshall & The Lomos
Andrew G Melladay as Simon Bull
Peter Marshall as Peter Marshall
Spencer Vale as Spencer Wheels
James Christopher as James Krieger
Helen Dowson as Helen
"You remember we were talking about Watching?" Let's talk about old TV, films and in particular the TV show Bugs. Remember that? With the chap from Eldorado. And the girl from The Bill. And the guy from Neighbours replaced by the guy from London's Burning.
Listen and learn about things you shouldn't care about but obviously do.
September… Well, what can you say about September? Summer’s on the way out, but it’s not time to get excited for Christmas yet. There’s precious little to get happy about. However there is one thing that you can bridge the gap with. One shining aural saviour. Can a medium that is based on hearing, shine? A quality reserved exclusively for visual items? I don’t know, I’m not a physicist. But one thing’s for certain, Soldiers of Hell make for happy ears!
In September’s episode: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… Radio based entertainment, televisual experience and The Piglet Files. Anyone... Anyone else remember them?
Ready… Set… Go!!! That’s right three exclamation marks after go. It deserves it, for August is the month of the year’s biggest event that doesn’t involve us… the Olympics. And as Bruce Forsythe might turn to an elderly auntie (devoid of the ability to produce offspring) accompanied by her favourite second nephew on the Generation Game and say “Didn’t they do well?”, so I turn to our precious glittering Team GB and say “Nice to medal you… To medal you nice”. Coincidence that our podcast appears at the same time the games end? Only in the way that it coincides with it… so shrug off the sport withdrawal by listening to some Redgrave standard, Daley Thompson certified Seb Co-hosted chat.
In August’s episode: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… Let Loose, bands of old and their place, affectionately secured in our hearts.
July comes around quickly and it's time for another chatathon with Andy and Spence aka the Soldiers of Hell. This time they might radio chat about topics that include Chatsworth hall, and the Chattanooga choo choo. Then again they might not.
Having previously discussed big ambitions, Andy and Spence embark on their own challenge: to walk the bar walls in York and have a drink at every gate. Join the Soldiers of Hell on their journey and see if they get into any scrapes or receive any weird looks.
HELLO EUROPE! I would be liking to thank you for being at our website. As we are on May, this month is all relate to the togetherness of Europe. The continent with the largemost amount of countries cornering Switzerland into a geographical landlocked corner, and a few hangers on… Israel I’m looking at you, coming together for to make music on your aural bits. Of course, it’s Eurovision, so please sit in juries, and delegate your votes onto ours poscastings. Hah… Terry Wogan!
In May’s episode: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… It’s late may… have a wild guess at what obsessive stat boy Andrew wants to talk about!
As the year march’s on, the podcasts keep coming… and this month’s podcast is, in a way, it’s own reward and subject. Ambitions, dreams, the accomplishment of near super human tasks… the very fabric of the podcast for it is both our dream and ambition, to make the very best podcast that we can, so that you, dear listener, may indulge in the aural accomplishment.
In March’s *download*: The Soldiers of Hell discuss… Conquering Everest, boxing in the American borders and the pursuit of less heroic, but ultimately more entertaining goals!
It's cold outside… and not in that Tom Jones/Cerys Matthews pervey kind of way, but in a very real, freezing, chilblains kind of way. The sort of cold that every frozen
balled Siberian knows. If Valentin Dmitrovich Zukovsky was here, that knee that Bond shot him in would be giving him some right gip! So why brace that temperature and get that opposable digit chilly, stay in and put it to good use on your generic mp3 player. Enjoy…
In February’s episode: The Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The pop to beard ratio, muscular tone in relation to musical success and… is that a bit of paper you’ve got there?
It is a period of radio war. Rebel breakfast shows, striking from a hidden studio have won their first victory at the York Media Awards.
During the ceremony, broadcasters managed to steal secret plans to the York Radio’s ultimate weapon, the SOLDIERS OF HELL. Pursued by the station’s sinister agents, Andy and
Spence sit at home aboard their sofa, custodians of the stolen chat that can save podcast and restore random factoids to the internet…
In 1999, a crack comedy unit was sent to York University by adequate A-Level results for a radio show they didn't record. These men promptly graduated a degree with honours to the Yorkshire and Midlands suburbia. Today, still wanted by the fans, they survive as Soldiers of Hell. If you have a trivia niggle, if no one else can help, and if you can download them, maybe you can listen to... The A(ndy and Spence)Team.
This month the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… Social networking websites, social video websites, the vastness of internet information and fun ways to abuse it.
November is almost over, so that can only mean the weather will be getting colder, Christmas will be approaching and we’ll all be submitted to Paul McCartney’s warbling aural crime against festive music many, many times over the next 5 weeks. But if that gets too much for you, if the thought of having nothing better to do than play Chegger’s Party quiz or watch the new last ever episode of Only Fools and Horses proves too taxing, just settle back amongst the wrapping paper and 3 for 2 Boots presents you’ve bought, and listen to our podcast.
In November’s download the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The re-emergence of the Staasi hat, the likelihood of fish based foodstuffs to actually have fingers, the very best of the greatest hits of the singles collections of pop stars.
The circle is complete, and the last tiny fonted parts of the credits are rolling, “Filmed in Technicolour”, “We’d like to thank the city of Los Angeles” and finally “MCMXXXIII”, so we leave the movies behind us and make a fresh start on topics anew. And what better way to do that crack a few beers, and force each other to drink for returning to the topics we’ve vowed never to mention again. Where will it end? What will we cover? There’s only one way to find out… download and listen.
In October’s *download* the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… Well not films that’s for sure! But Saturday night TV, basic drinking game rules for the avoidance of bond trivia and the meandering waffle of drunks.
The man with the chat is back. And this time, he's bringing his Dad... well that’s not strictly true, Spence is just bringing me but it’s time for to return to a podcast... far, far away. Depending where you keep your mp3 player. 3 times the trivia. 3 times the film linkage. 3 times the terror. There can be no laughter without loss. No jokes without suffering. No podcast without sacrifice. Everything that has a beginning has an end… but hopefully not quite yet. But this is the third and final in our trilogy of films that have been in our last 3 podcasts, so enjoy. All the download limits on earth can't change destiny.
In September’s *download* the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The Return of the Revenge of the Jedi King and the Last Crusade: Beyond the Thunderdome at World’s End.
Now writing the “bumpf” every month for our podcast is an onerous task, and since I’ve been off work this week, and feeling lazy, I’ll contain this month’s bumpf to simply saying that even though the kids are still of school, even though the weather’s been changeable, possibly due to Rihanna, more likely due to clouds and wind, you can still find a little haven of tranquility in our podcast, just as I’ve found tranquility between getting cars fixed and DIY by watching Jeremy Kyle in my pants!
In August's episode the Soldier’s of Hell discuss… The continuing story of film, the full Niv Streak Reaction and more frenzied argle bargle and fuforore!
Biog: In 1999, a crack comedy unit was sent to York University by adequate A-Level results for a radio show they didn't record. These men promptly graduated a degree with honors to the Yorkshire and Midlands suburbia. Today, still wanted by the fans, they survive as Soldiers of Hell. If you have a trivia niggle, if no one else can help, and
It’s sunny at the minute, tomorrow possibly more rain, it’s been a funny old summer. Not funny ha ha, but funny “terrible flooding tragedy” sort of thing. But we’re funny, and since it’s probably raining outside, get the sandbags out and sit down and listen to some marginally obsessive cinema critical chat. And if you don’t want to, then I hope a graboid gets you…. What do you mean you’ve never seen Tremors?
In this month’s *episode the Soldiers of Hell discuss… The A, B, C’s of movies, poor concept films, lazy sequels, lazy “three-quels”, and the when a B movie becomes an A movie and cult smashes get mardy.
It’s warm outside, there’s some sort of football tournament going on (Yes under 21’s qualify) and I’m sneezing my nose off, so it must be summer. And while you’re outside enjoying the weather, and hopefully listening to our podcast, we’re shut up in a room chattering the chatter of dedication. So enjoy the fruits of our shadowy obsession, and next time you play a sport, just think… what is the name of that game with the massive ball in the sea?
In this month’s *episode the Soldiers of Hell discuss…The ins and outs of sport, what makes something comfortably saucy, and the shock revelation that Peter Shilton WASN’T an actual giant! Crikey!
Hi, we’re Andy & Spence, and April is the 6th month that we’ve been casting our pod across the web, and have we had success? Just a little bit, but don’t assume that we’re one step out of time, oh no we haven’t met our waterloo! And for that we deserve congratulations, and possibly some jubilations. We’ve toyed with topics for the show, had trouble making our mind up, but it’s better the devil you know so just watch us attack this month’s download. We’ve picked a suitable discussion for the time of year, so if you want to hear the results from the Soldiers of Hell Jury, then let your love shone a light onto our podcast… we’ve been saving our kisses for you…
In this month’s *podcast the Soldiers of Hell discuss… European rapping laws, the nil points watershed and the actual watershed PLUS Celine Dion? Thanks Eurovision! Are we being sarcastic? Find out next month.
Andy and Spence get deep in this episode. I mean what could be deeper than the understanding of the difference between a nerd and poindexter? And just how big is the crossover between science fiction sagas and kids TV? There's certainly more than a passing resemblance between Geoffrey from Rainbow and Mark Hamill; a point that doesn't get past the Soldiers of Hell.
Panto? Reality TV? As a celebrity, where do you draw the line these days? Should you draw the line? Should we stop asking questions of you that you can't answer? How would a Celebrity Big Brother and Lara Croft crossover movie even work?
All topics that are covered in February's Soldiers of Hell episode. We're glad you're still with us. Keep it up people!
First let's tick off the items from last month's ledger. We leave no stone unturned to answer questions we couldn't previously answer and in the meantime create some of the greatest moustache wearing super groups of all time.
In their first ever podcast, Andy and Spence choose a category from the hat of destiny and stumble across Beefs with Films. A rambling topic that will reveal their thoughts on straight to DVD movies, sex tapes and the Krankies.