Spiritual UnDirection

Feel the pre-recorded live energy on this episode straight from a rental home just west of the Middle west! We promise that the whole thing is less problematic than Dumbo as long as you don’t have your confirmation bias radar on. 

Discussion Starters: Steak sauce and salads, Jesus’ alternative communion elements, calm as default emotion, considering a real bear, neighborhood Bible burning center, Hackzors, what type of Bible to buy, Christian nationalism, Thanks for Punderstanding, Zoltar’s Prophecies, Verse of the Day.

Enjoy the apocalypse with us and take a slice of steak off the meat tree to chase it. But be sure to stuff John Nelson Darby in a locker if you don’t want to get a wedgie below the Mason Dixon line. 

Discussion Starters: Rapture during the eclipse, earthquakes, Daniel’s last week of prophecy, Thanks for Punderstanding, Bible characters with white names, should we pray for Satan’s salvation, knee-length skirts, Satan’s knees are like a joystick.

With a balanced diet of anarchy, fiber, deep brown dirt, and the blessing of a wet and sticky bird, you’re on your way to a holy and crunchy breakfast experience. Let Wayne’s fat-padded love hands give you your first broken nose so you can match Chris’ crooked face.

Discussion Starters: National Cereal Day, cereal confessions, cereal mascots, two questions from Crossroads, struggling with or living in sin, reciting a bible verse for food, end times is near, punches to the face.

Why would a loving and sovereign God let the Mexican Pizza go away for a short while? Embrace the mystery with us as we play with puns, ruminate on religion, and secretly talk behind Dillip’s back.

Discussion Starters: Sweet Potato Pie, cities at the center of Jesus’ millennial reign, emotionally responding to John Macarthur, talk about Calvinism, sin in heaven, yucky puppet master, Christ in all things, Global Religion Thanks for Punderstanding, a visit from Santa Tecnica, Las Vegas wagers, merch, gossip rules.

This Valentines week it’s time to learn how to get in your body with Wayne and discover your bender type from Avatar. Let the north wind blow on your garden as Jon recalls his wedding song. 

Discussion Starters: Sweeping us off our feet, japalenyo, youth group commandments, the Griddy, life’s greatest accomplishments, Jesus or secular love song, Thanks for Punderstanding, children reading Song of Solomon, Jesus’ preferred cuisine.

Can you supernaturally run in slow motion? Well, if you’re Hasselhoff or Saint George Michael, you will definitely need to have faith. Turn your hat backwards and put on your slingshot in preparation for this episode.

Discussion Starters: Dumdum sucker apology, wife-related announcements, evil behind other religions, the state of Florida, demon resources theory, Thanks for Punderstanding, differentiating belief and faith, Katie Perry Lyrics.

Meet up with us in an abandoned location to bear witness to Wayne’s conversion to Jon’s side. He comes in through the back door reserved especially for ghosts! Be sure to take your lactose enzymes as you listen.

Discussion Starters: National Milk Day, boil a kid in its mother’s milk (Exodus 23:19), ghost hunting and evangelism update, wikihow on a bad habit, girl hug boy day, actors judged for their actions, hug procedures, cowardice, can you be a Christian.

Serve yourself a hot bowl of Birria Ramen and cuddle up with Russel Crowe in the basement (allegedly). Get ready to get fit and drink the same amount in the coming year… just be careful of the stair-stepper transformer.

Discussion Starters: Gym equipment Transformers, recapping 2023, proper finger-wagging technique, evangelism appetizers, New Year’s resolutions both real and funny, prophetic words of 2023: Porcelain-Carpetbagger-Funf, Bathroom Crocs, Bible verse of 2024, hotdog-lifespan correlations.

We’ve figured out how to jam a full acre and two cows into a single rod. Even though Jon teaches a gothic horror class, still be sure to stay away from the Ouija and angels of the Charlie persuasion.

Discussion Starters: Peak reindeer season, cities in Ohio, Rain Wavid Dandolf’s ghosthunter kids, lip sync bad words in a song, Biblical name Thanks for Punderstanding, Protestants still protesting, Psychology explains the Bennett Hasselhoff Nexus.

It’s time to get your elimination communication game on point, especially if you are Mary, most blessed among women! But prepare for an oil slick in the toi-toi or the incarnational cloth diaper. 

Discussion Starters: Computer security and VPNs, what to do in Vegas, God’s consciousness trapped in baby Jesus, celibacy as a higher calling, heathen December Christmas, pagan cultural appropriation, verse of the day, grown-up Christmas list: Airsoft, Speedo, Pokémon.

What do Seekonk, Weeweeantics, Foggybottom, and Flesh all have in common? Jon’s mind! Enjoy all the Turkish vibes in this one as we remind Wayne where the Salem witch trials took place and explore the 7 sins of Thanksgiving.

Discussion Starters: Real towns in Massachusetts, praying over food for gratitude or protection spells, Fiona the flesh-eating stuffy, spending a day with a bear, shame about a giant inflatable tree, why did the creator design wildlife to die violently, devoured and excreted with the lion of Judah, Christian focus on Thanksgiving, deviled eggs on every holiday.

Are you a two-footed creature that chews the cud? Well, you’re welcome here even if you don’t match our 21stcentury taxonomy. Hop in the ark and get blasted by a better-than-the-original Smash Bros knockoff.

Discussion Starters: Super Past Brothers in the Christian shark tank, the end of the Gospel of Thomas, Day of the Dead details, Poe and Macbeth, Bible Bones BONEa Fides, dinosaurs and kangaroos in the Bible, inheriting salvation, sad souls on the journey to the afterlife, God’s judgement to send people to hell. 

Learn some fried fish hacks, unorthodox pumpkin spice applications, and midwestern expressions. If you don’t enjoy it, we won’t beat you up because the Bible condemns self-defense.

Discussion Starters: Peak pumpkin spice, flavors and scents, trash bag reads, self-defense and others-defense, how to spice things up, wives’ interests and hobbies, Thanks for Punderstanding with daughter interruptions, was Satan telling the truth, good and evil, Pastor Jokes.

Join us for a tour of Prague as we discuss the endemic rampant atheism and the most recent release from T-Swift. Hop into Chris’ fossil fuel guzzling F-350 and listen as Tomald Drumph and Wayne-as-Jesus interact.

Discussion Starters: Taylor Swift putting football on the map, comparing T-Swift with Presidents and Popes, is God a loser and a failure, 15-year-old watch Dogma, the sacred heart, Thanks for Punderstanding, Disneyland vs the Vatican, almost losing a teen in a cave whirlpool, why doesn’t God just kill Satan.

Plenty of Bible and shame talk in this episode where we also spoil our doggies in the dog days of summer. Let’s hope you don’t have the chicken bone choking gene because Dorito time might be hazardous.

Discussion Starters: Bones for dogs, daughters making soup, Deuteronomy 22:5, guys shaving their legs, is shame good or bad, Dorito dust, dog glands, pagan etymology, other motivations of Biblical authors, family won’t buy me a house, does God rest on the 7th day, Cheezy Pastor Jokes.

Enter into the insurance dungeon with us. Careful what you touch or you could say goodbye to Carol’s demonface forever and face your mortality buttfirst. Also, some convos about the hiddenness of God and denominations might show up.  

Discussion Starters: Ernest Gary Gygax, office DnD roleplay, why doesn’t God reveal himself in dreams, Terry Crews in a pool of Jell-O, Christian denominations in DnD alignments, Rick Warren, Kenneth Copeland, and Joel Osteen’s race and class, zombie soccer and evangelism, Check your Apostate, Verse of the Day.

Dogface Dogfart Dogfan… whatever his name… he’s our official Patron Saint of Spiritual Undirection Summertime. Hop on into our Christian Summer Camp experience and swim on land with us or walk on water with Jesus. 

Discussion Starters: Kitchen Patrol, Hyundai, Patron Aint, swim on land or walk on water, swinging around the L word, How to be popular at Christian Camp, age of accountability, watching history from heaven, ghosts. 

Join us around the 4th of July BBQ for a great conversation with long dead saints, and rekindled friendships. Don’t be ashamed to raise your hands in worship while you listen, or just scratch your wife’s back and hope that it counts with God.

Discussion Starters: Two Truths and A Lie: stolen cars and singed eyelashes and monkey bites, a visit from Santa Barbara, St. Crescentia, what if Christianity wasn’t true, taking your shirt off at a public pool, who signed the Declaration of Independence, Thanks for Punderstanding, Wayne at Medieval Times, horse meat.

What DOES Martha Stewart smell like after a light jog? Who knows!? One thing is for certain, though… if you’re a mandated reporter, you should have blown the whistle for the whole stoning of Stephen thing. And Katie… come get your man.

Discussion Starters: Accountability time for goals, Bible Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, the capital of Evangelicalism, Elon Musk and Chicken Sandwich wars, involuntary mmm, the Jon Bennett Show, men discerning decision making, how was Jesus sinless, Thanks for Punderstanding, cheezy pastor jokes.

Squeeze some lemon on your schnitzel and get ready for a post-grad spiritual experience featuring the Mario movie and Wayne’s Botox Buttox. Laugh with us, and then cry with him over Food Network specials. 

Discussion Starters: Scriptural senior superlatives, farting during baptism, disciple criterion, picture-perfect Christian marriages, Thanks for Punderstanding, differing sense of right and wrong, eating fries with a fork, how to stop focusing on self.

May the Fourth be with you… and with your Spirit. Explore the wisdom of George Lucas’ cosmos while pondering the heart of the incarnate Christ in all galaxies, no matter how far away.

Discussion Starters: Star Wars personal investment, Star Wars or Christian, can Christians sue, butt implant malpractice, Christianity in the Star Wars universe, Ewok salvation narrative, Thanks for Punderstanding, Wayne’s history with pox, Verse of the Day, American Me.

Save some room for the Holy Spirit and crack open a cold one on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s waxy jawbone. While you’re at it, step into the ALFophatic way and eat a cat while giving us four.

Discussion Starters: Prom chaperone techniques, Promophones, Adam and Eve belly buttons, long convo about Progressive Christians, cataphatic way and ALF/apophatic way, bricks and springs, 30 year old prom date, how to ask a Christian to prom.

On the heels of Massage Monday, Turbo Tax Tuesday, and Wacky Wednesday, we definitely need a moment of Undirection to prepare ourselves for the seriousness of this weekend. Put on your boots and wade into the culture war. Also, hear from Chris’ cousin Pipopapupewebghost.

Discussion Starters: Best candy eggs in the universe, why did it take 3 days, experiences with the supernatural, statues of Jesus in SimChurch, Resurrection Ripoffs, confessing golden arches, M&Ms, and dead selfies.

Breathe in the breath of life and breathe out jet puffed dog poop with us while we work through the consequences of our Sant Patty’s Day indulgence.

Discussion Starters: Saint Patrick’s Day hangover, a neighbor dispute about poop, smart people act, intelligence and wisdom, authorities established by God, mega church pastor salaries, does Kenneth Copeland count?, relic holy sponge watch, verse of the day.

Is that sweet smell the fresh bologna in the spring air or the fumes from a saint’s tomb? Only one way to find out! Crank up the EDM and ask Jesus if he likes it!

Discussion Starters: Bologna, post-mortem healings and smells, Jesus’ music preferences, post-trauma afterlife, How to be a mystic, King Dedede, clone souls, Dallas Willard anthropology, Thanks for Punderstanding one-word edition.

Enlist in our Casselhoff Cult! But first, answer this: In what sauce do you dip the bottom half of your Cheddar Bay Biscuits? Ours is guilty pleasure. Whether you are literally or figuratively 900 years old, we’re here to give you some non-dualistic wisdom.

Discussion Starters: Favorite kind of toast, Red Lobster pseudo-theft, Thanks for Punderstanding colonoscopy waiting room edition, ages in Genesis 5, Florida Man, the Spiritual Undirection Cult, Hasselhoff and Casserole Cult, Verse of the Day-vid Casselhoff.

Hop into the sensory deprivation chamber with us and let our wisdom and humor get you into an altered state of consciousness. Unless you have access to the Youth Pastor red phone, we’ll try not to lower the veil that blocks the heavens without your consent.

Discussion Starters: Calls from the Youth Pastor Red Phone, shaming away jokes, Alexa Hasselhoff, Saint/Aint Valentine, Thanks for Punderstanding, drug-free altered state of consciousness, strategic/manipulative worship, John Macarthur worship and apostasy, missing 90s worship.

An archaeologist, a Rock body double, and a filmmaker walk into a podcast. Okay so maybe it’s just three regular dudes. But we still stand by the fact that Jon has a hot body, although we remain conflicted about Taco Bell.

Discussion Starters: George Santosesque exaggerations, resolution progress, calls from the public (thanks S&O) on Brave New World, subversive doctrines and church division, Thanks for Punderstanding Disney, why God created, Taco Bell’s non-appropriation, Prophetic Comparisons: Insults and Fighting.

Note for those early downloaders: Time Delay Issue Fixed! Redownload for audio that makes sense for the guest caller.

Clean it up! Get off that toilet and write a strongly worded letter to follow through on your resolutions. Be an Alpha fish, not a Beta fish. Try pronouncing the immaculahasselhof three times to convert that white fat into brown.

Discussion Starters: New Year Resolutions, swimming in the Ohio River, Alien Sasquatch and Don’t Tell Dad, shalom, adenosine, wikihow to contact God, things to air fry, pelvic floor health, civilized airsoft, accidents, GLASS PARTICLE CORAL, fatboys beatboxing, level up in life, what happened on the 23rd floor, holding your gaze, workaholism and ministry orphans.

No nuts in this episode! Unless it’s swimming in your melted rocky road soup with some nutty nutty croutons… Or unless you count your three undirectors. Stay tuned for the release of our future album, Consensual Onion Consumption, with hit track, A Slaying Song Tonight.

Discussion Starters: National Brownie Day and Act Like a Time Traveler, Feast of the Immaculate Conception, is kissing a sin, Rapper/Father/BIBLE Christmas edition, what happened to the magi gifts, pain and suffering, Christmas song of the month, squishing spiders, a slaying song tonight.

Glut yourself upon the wisdom and folly of your UNdirectors, and then purge your UNgrateful attitude with us as we let out all of our UNthankfulness together. It’s a great day to gobble up some chili-covered American tacos (AKA hot dogs).

Discussion Starters: World Cup, Unthanksgiving for things like spiders and George Lucas, all-you-can-eat buffet, understanding gluttony, Thanks for Punderstanding, Thanksgiving in the Bible, Skyline Chili, bad dreams, demon genders.

This episode has been validated by the department of weights and measures to be worth approximately 3 cans of cream of mushroom soup. We do have a moderate amount of schistosity in this rockin’ pod, so get comfy and tuck yourself into your bed at the Holodeck Inn.

Discussion Starters: Special Ohio rolls and Biblical politicians, Florida man, forcing teens to go to church, caught not taught, Never Gonna Give Your Relic Up, gothic literature Thanks for Punderstanding, aliens, Star Wars or Trek future, dream interpretation, Verse of the Day.

Tuesday at the LA Fitness is the spookiest time of year, especially if the pool is filled by a swimmer’s biggest fear… river-Nazis. Face your fears with us, be they monsters, disapproving parents, or otherwise.

Discussion Starters: Fears and phobias, dressing up for Halloween, David Boreanaz’s severed tendons, Jesus costume, Halloween no-nos, urine in strange places, God created sin, Pokemon or terms, Spookly’s decorative posthumous work, behaving for rewards, stale Baby Ruth, monsters in the Bible, séances.

The deciduous leaves are falling off the trees and the laughs are falling out of our mouths. May you reap the delicious nectar with relish.

Discussion Starters: Autumn free word association, Spice girls, Jesus’ podcast, Noah calls in, Father Rapper Bible, violent video games, Christians from Japan, night seasons in Christianity.

If you have an inflamed Hasselhoffian itch, then this is the episode to help you scratch it. But be prepared to have your musical sensibilities insulted in the process. Remember, though, this is just for funzies AND it’s our 50th episodiversary… so chill out.

Discussion Starters: Golden and silver presents, bad music, mortal or venial, friendly honks and farts, interfaith marriage, Thanks for Punderstanding, strangest thing inside a person, keeping sabbath holy, Verse of the Day.

It’s time to draft Goliath as your grundlesnap quarterback for your Biblical fantasy football league. As summer burns its last flames out in on its way to spring, ignite a passion for wisdom, puns, physics, and American football.

Discussion Starters: Fantasy Football, things we learned too late in life, emotions, denominations, healings, Elijah and Enoch’s resurrection and relativity, salvation in an alternate timeline, megachurch Thanks for Punderstanding, Chandler in hot water, Boys Bibles and Burgers, Lucifer, teaching gothic horror.

Happy Labor Day to all of our Spiritual Undies and laboring day anniversary to Jon’s mom! It’s a sweltering Thursday and the perfect time to enjoy the view of Wayne’s bleach-blonde-Lance-Bass hair while he sprays you down with some tanning oil.

Discussion Starters: Weirdest jobs, Brittney fancast, Atheist recruitment, Haile Selassie, fish in a baptismal font, Jesus’ awareness of his deity, Jesus’ go-to snack, Ryan Defrates or Defakies, greatest threat to Christianity, prophetic verse of the day, the global flood.

Bienvenidos a nuestro comeback podcast in which Jon flexes his Spanish proficiency. Spit that gristle out of your mouth and join us as we creatively confront pesky prying parental eyes and get back to our gift of gab.

Discussion Starters: Spanish words, cameras in your kid’s room, pranks, sports in the garden, disrobing in Dairy Queen, Saint Teresa’s bones, JBs Thanks for Punderstanding, saddest truths about life, appreciating Mordecai.

Macho Man Randy Savage’s true identity is revealed in this stunning episode, filled with shocking slip-ups, and the origin story of Jonny B the Three. Find the Instagram post on @spiritualundirection and let us know if you have better biblical wrestling moves.

Discussion Starters: Stealing Santa/Wrestler innocence, Bible wrestling moves, loneliness, Biblical support for bachelor Jesus, bridegroom and us on the side pieces, holy 10k and daughter duties, Jon’s Thanks for Punderstanding, worship and clapping for Jesus.

Looking for God in Las Vegas? Well, the odds are not in your favor. But if you’re Tim Keller, you can at least rely on us to unflak you from all undue flak. And if you’re Rehoboam, take it easy on your father’s loins.

Discussion Starters: Perfume, farts and axe, Chris’ shower frequency, holy craps table, sevens, Shakespeare or Scripture, Purity Culture and sex ed, Thanks for Punderstanding: Hollywood Edition, cereal mascot plane of existence, verse of the day, take 1d4 psychic damage.

Get into our Spiritual D-Box and tune into some summer flicks while dodging bears, leopards, and the church of Scientology. Channel your inner Goonie and scare away that gorilla, who, sadly, isn’t Harambe.

Discussion Starters: Favorite Maverick scenes, 80s movie remake, Cruise Gibson and Cameron, Hydrogen bombs on Godzilla, cults and Nikes, using the name of God, dealing with bears and Leopards.

Glimericks? Shimmericks? What rhymes with limericks? Probably nothing, but we have plenty of attempts at it on this episode. Because nothing validates spiritual insight like a good rhyme.

Discussion Starters: Unplanned poetry, intelligent people dealing with the flood, “Dad let’s his children tell the story,” Thanks for Punderstanding: Restaurant Edition, Earth as Hell, being watched all the time, verse of the day, Aaron’s Rogers’ staff practice, Christian mascots, Peter and the popes.

Cozy up on our doghouse couch and gnash your teeth at your shortcomings while catching up on your favorite shows… mostly this one. Crack open a cold one and be your authentic self with us while we DSMR into your ears.

Discussion Starters: Jesus’ triumphal motorized entry and Rivian return, effect of unrepentance on relationships, just being yourself, the true self, talking people out of horoscopes, specificity in prophecies, Jon for Punderstanding, DSMR, reincarnated goals, Jon’s real dad and guilt.

Even if the Americas are devoured by an apocalyptic heaven-rock, we can still enjoy some peeps and a final eggmeal in these last days of holy week. Be sure to camp out in Djibouti for the fireworks at the end.

Discussion Starters: Hot Tamale Peeps, the last egg meal, where will Jesus return, Gog and Magog, 99 bottles of beer before the Big Bang, Divine Cupid Shuffle, Biblical, Apocryphal, or Chris, making holy water, do non-Catholics go to hell?

Just because we didn’t know that The Batman wasn’t in the running for this year’s Oscars doesn’t mean we’re unqualified to have an Oscars episode. Okay, maybe it does. But good news! Cinema expert Christopher Salazar joins us for this episode.

Discussion Starters: Oscar fever, Verse of the Day: Movie Edition, King James Bible: the film, Uncle Oscar, second favorite film, Oscars qualifiers, the outlawing of pinball, PTA and Wes Anderson, why Christian films are different, international films with Christian morals.

Who would win in a saint fight, Saint Nick or Saint Patty? We aren’t sure either… but we are sure that God was in Jon’s bowels, dispensing grace on his casserole-based dysentery.

Discussion Starters: Magic the Gathering card or Catholic Saint, the proper and improper uses of “by the grace of God,” taxing religious institutions, Thanks for Punderstanding, how to stop living in sin, holy cows and holy poop.

Look out Cupid! You’re in Wayne’s boycott crosshairs, so start shaking in your… well… you don’t wear boots, do you? Incarnational theology and bad dating advice are a sure cocktail to bring Saint Valentine’s love empire down.

Discussion Starters: Good questions for your first date, midwestern Christian bases, [love]sick Jesus, fully human God gets Covid, the Christian Bachelor at Chick-Fil-A, New Testament without Paul, floral verse of the day, free will in heaven, nuggets of romantic wisdom.

Bubbles were meant to pop, whether they be physical glycerol powered bubbles, or metaphysical crypto bubbles. Let Pharoah’s snake charmers put a technomantic spell on you as you listen to our musings.

Discussion Starters: Everlasting bubbles, heaven and Florida, forbidden words, trailer park cosmology, can demons make life, Pharoah’s snake charmers, earthbound spirits, Biblical Apocryphal or Chris, Jesus forgiving himself.