There Is No Spoon

A wise woman once said nothing.

In this episode we’ll silently chat about stuff, including but not limited to the following:

     • Blonde Zen Masters

     • My Jealousy of Spiritual Poets

     • Memes and Tramp Stamps as Truth

     • Silence as the Mother Tongue of Truth

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“The eye with which I see God is the same with which God sees me.” - Meister Eckhart

In this episode we’ll grab some java with the Big Kahuna and ponder upon:

     • The Divisive Nature of the Word “God”

     • Am I a “Spiritual Coach”?

     • Why There’s No Such Thing as Atheism

     • The Bloody Act of Keeping Your Heart Open, and…

     • Why It’s a Privilege to Bleed Out

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have Alzheimer’s.”

In this episode, the first installment of listener-submitted topics, we’ll ponder together upon:

     • Psychological Innocence

     • Why it’s Never “Just Your Thinking”

     • The Falling Away of Forgiveness

     • Why There’s No “Therefore”

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

"Don’t half-ass anything; whatever you do in life, use your full ass."

In this episode we’ll do a little dirty talkin’ (about goals, that is), specifically:

     • My Love/Hate Relationship with Goals

     • The Structural Dynamics of Goal Setting

     • Getting Your Goals Out of the Gutter

     • Why Failure is Always an Option, and Why it Doesn’t Matter

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“The Gulf Stream will flow through a straw provided the straw is aligned to the Gulf Stream, and not at cross purposes with it.” —Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

In this episode I’ll share tidbits from a recent team-building workshop and ponder on the following:

     • Taoism, and who would win in a fight between Confucius and Lao Tzu

     • Effortless Effort & The Way of The Dude

     • Clarity of Mind & Communication

     • The Two Keys to Team Synergy

     • The Illusion of Difficult People

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“Are they still considered ‘bad habits’ if I like them?”

In this episode we’ll get all Heisenberg, break some bad, and ponder on the following:

     • The Truth about your Habit, and You

     • Dr. Amy Johnson and her Kick-Ass “Little Book of Big Change”

     • How to Make Friends with your Inner Lizard

     • Why Willpower is Overrated and Where to Look Instead

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“Ego is a social fiction for which one person at a time gets all the blame.” – Robert Anton Wilson

In this episode we’ll do a little dance, perhaps make a little love and definitely get down tonight with our egos; and ponder on the following:

     • Why We Always Need a Bad Guy

     • The Tibetan Book of the Dead and Ego Death

     • The Simple, Fictional Truth About Your Ego

     • The Illusion of Good and Bad Self-Images

     • Horny Monks Stuck in Doorways

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

"Why be rude, when you can be nude."

In this episode we’ll get naked, twist ourselves into a pretzel, and ponder on the follow:

     • Why (in the hell) would people do Naked Yoga?

     • Is “Naked Yoga” just code for “Orgy”?

     • Yoga is mostly NOT about the Postures and Poses

     • The Freedom and Spirituality of Naked Activity

     • Yogic Materialism and Why Lululemon is the Devil in Disguise

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.”

In this episode I’ll break my oath of never telling you HOW to do something, kinda:

     • Dissecting My Infamous Step # 2 - CTFD

     • “The Shower Fallacy” and the Truth of Insight Incubators

     • The Caffeinated Nature of Insecurity

     • The Three F*cking Amigos – Worry, Control & Fear

     • How (Not) to Gag on a Spoon

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“If your worldview starts with a problematic origin story, everything else is going to be infected.” – William Dembski

In this episode we’ll look at the utility (or lack thereof) of deep past origin stories, including:

     • Digging Into the Past to Navigate the Present

     • The Present Moment Origin Story

     • Thought as the Creative Force for Moment to Moment Experience

     • Waking Up, Moving Beyond Personal Psychology, and Creating Cool Shit

     • How to Darken the Page, and Become the Artist of Your Life

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“The word ‘superstar’ is an illusion.” – Bruce Lee

In this episode we’ll look at the positive potential influence and common pitfalls of youth sports, including:

     • The Unintended and False Life Lessons of Youth Sports

     • The Simple Misunderstanding That Feeds Performance Anxiety

     • The Art of “Going Upstream”

     • Does Your Child Love the Sport, or Just Love Winning?

     • The True Potential for Spiritual Awakening within Youth Sports

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

Life is like underwear; change is good.

In this episode we’ll look at the nature of change and our relationship to it, including:

     • People Change; Truth is Eternal

     • Calling Bullshit on “Self-Improvement”

     • Your Well-Being and State of the Art Boomerangs

     • The Key to (Almost) Effortless Change

     • The Domino Effect and David Bowie

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!” – Tyler Durden

In this episode I’ll break the first and second rules of Fight Club, specifically talking about:

     • The Many Embedded Zen Teachings of Tyler Durden

     • “The IKEA Nesting Instinct” and Consumeristic Materialism

     • The Nature of Pain & Suffering

     • Rebirth and Our Never-Ending Supply of Mulligans

     • How to Kill a Buddha and Experience Freedom (instead of going to prison)

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“I love the sound you make when you shut up.”

In this episode I’ll communicate with you about how communication isn’t the problem in your relationship, and specifically:

     • The ONLY Relationship Book You’ll Ever Need, Probably

     • The Simple Brilliance of George and Linda Pransky

     • Low Mood Therapy vs. High Mood Therapy

     • The Origin of All Relationship Distress, and the Cure

     • Bathing in Fecal Matter vs. Showering in Beer

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

"I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know... if you know what I mean." — Edie Brickell

In this episode we’ll ponder on what we can learn (or not) from how people decorate their bumpers, as well as:

     • How Philosophy  is the Talk of a Cereal Box

     • And Religion is a Smile on a Dog

     • How to “Easily” Turn Trump into Rumi

     • The Egoistic Logic of “If You’re Not Angry, You’re Not Paying Attention”

     • Is Everyone Insane?

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.”

In this episode, I’ll ramble for 15 minutes about how to do nothing and cover riveting topics like:

     • Why I’ve been called “The Seinfeld of Coaching”

     • The Difference Between Theory and Practice

     • Why Doing Nothing and Taking  Action Aren’t Mutually Exclusive

     • A Room Full of One Thousand  Demons

     • Jangelaphobia

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“George Washington was in a cult, and that cult was into aliens, man.” — Slater (Dazed & Confused)

In this episode we’ll calmly discuss confusing stuff and ponder on:

     • Putting Wasabi on a Hot Dog

     • The Beauty and Opportunity of Being Calm and Confused

     • How to “Listen Naked” Without Getting Arrested

     • Why I don’t Care if You “Get It”

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” – Blaise Pascal

In this episode we’ll distort ourselves into crossed-legged lotus posture and ponder on:

     • Potential Traps of Meditation Practices

     • The Ever-Elusive State of a “Quiet Mind”

     • Silent Retreats (STFU!)

     • Tea-Bagging Cranky Zen Masters

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

"The Gulf Stream will flow through a straw provided the straw is aligned to the Gulf Stream, and not at cross purposes with it.” -Anne Lamott

In this episode we’ll meander together for a bit and ponder on:

     • Is “Letting Go” an Action Verb

     • Leonard Cohen’s Crack 

     • Accepting the Unacceptable

     • Alignment, Surrender and Rebirth

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.
 

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”  - Tom Robbins

In this episode we’ll cuddle up to Cupid and ponder on:

     • The True Origin of Love

     • Tips and Tricks for Keeping Love Captive

     • Urinating Out of Windows

     • Rumi and Kafka on Love & Ecstasy

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

 

“My shrink told me that my happiness was stress related.” – Richard Lewis

In this episode we’ll invite stress over for a cup of tea and get cozy with it, and ponder on:

     • The True Origin of All Stressful Feelings

     • The Great News… and Some Potential Bad News

     • Your Psychological Immune System

     • Scab Picking and Doing A Whole Lotta Nothin’ 

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“Poop jokes aren’t my favorite, butt they’re a solid number two.”

In this episode, we’ll bumble our way further down the rabbit hole and ponder on:

     • The F-word (Feelings) and just a bit into the other F-word (Feces) 

     • What Feelings Mean… and What They Don’t

     • Positive Thinking Fatigue

     • Why Awareness is King

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

“A teddy bear will give you love. A grizzly bear will give you a mauling. Some bears aren’t just the same.” —Anthony T. Hincks

In this episode we’ll weave our way through the following menagerie of topics:

     • Furry Fetishes and Consenting Adult

     • The Origin of All Bad Feelings… and the Good Ones, Too

     • The Art of Pondering

     • Time Travel

     • And One More Piece to the Puzzle of “How Things Work”

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

Not all who wander are lost… but I was lost as shit.

In this episode we’ll wander through my backstory and ponder on:

     • My courageous yet misguided Hero’s Journey

     • NLP,™ EFT, CBT, and other 3-letter acronym techniques

     • The No-Step Path

     • Insightful Understanding

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.

Bending spoons with your mind is a trick. The mind itself is a magician, of sorts, and a talented one at that.

In this episode we’ll start to sniff around the entrance to the rabbit hole and ponder on:

     • The Inside-Out Understanding

     • The Matrix

     • Keanu Reeves’s filmography (Dude, it’d better than you think!)

     • Authentic Freedom

     • Being Swell and Staying Bendy

Note: It is suggested that you listen to this podcast at the normal speed. — CTFD (Calm The F*** Down) — There is no rush, nowhere else to be, and nothing to do.