This Thing I Call Life

In 1998, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. 2 years later, I would begin my journey into professional wrestling. And while I have been dealing with this Disorder since I was 4 or 5, I only recently voiced that I suffer from it. This is my story.

Happy Wrestleversary to me and I get into where I see myself and question my future.

#DeMarcoReWatch is a new project I have been working on where I look at my past content and comment in short form.

This is the long form companion where I give insight into my time with NWA and my 2 time reign as NWA Texas Champion.

February 2019, I walked into AutoNation West in Austin, TX in need of repair for my Chevy Malibu and ended up taking home a 2019 Chevy Equinox.

5 years and 100,000 miles later I give my thoughts of the journey with the vehicle and more importantly with the dealership from sales people to service department to general manager.

I get into where Steve De Marco is in 2024 in relation to wrestling.

I also discuss some of the struggles in my mindset and how it has limited me.

I discuss how building a persona as a shield has worked and not worked for me.

I talk about a potential project I am working on and the future of this podcast.

As I review my attempt at going through God Of War: Ragnarok's latest update in Valhalla.

My goal was to record a review as I defeated Tyr one final time before going on to the next game in my library.

Let me know what you thought.

And I choose to review it.

Not a total in depth review, but a review.

I even give some thoughts on Mortal Kombat 1.

I discuss how my asthma decided to come back and caused me to throw my back out...twice.

I talk about some issues I have been dealing with since 2018.

I give my thoughts on how 2018 and then 2020 impacted me and my view on myself and my place in the wrestling industry.

I discuss feeling judged, my self-doubt and how outside voices have impacted me...even when they are the vocal minority.

I get into it.

It took me a few recordings to find the right words for this topic. I'm not sure if I was really able to, even after so many takes.

This is part wish list and part what if.

I discuss my wish list throughout my time with the group, where I saw the group going, where I saw the "GSL 2020" web series going and thoughts on a reunion.

I delve into the IWE experience, my faults, some of my questionable choices and how I saw the promotion going into 2010, 2011 and beyond.

I also discuss if I would run a promotion, show or training facility now.

I also discuss what I see the what if and pitches portion of these recording and what they ultimately serve as.

In this episode I give a pretty detailed account as portraying Mr. X as part of Team International for Booker T's Reality Of Wrestling.

I go over some never before discussed for the character.

I also delve into my thoughts and feelings during that time period.

I also talk about the idea being pitched of X taking over Team International.

I originally was gonna just talk specifics about a pitch I made to Booker T, during his King Booker days, when I became a student of his at PWA.

As I dove deeper, I felt the bigger story was the timeframe and events around the pitch that led to it.

I ended up delving into that time period in 2006 being a period of what if. Specifically a certain choice.

I delve into what became a therapy session while recording.

Before I get into the meat of the topic, I give an update on getting our Equinox back after the Catastrophic Motor Failure Event 2 months prior.

I also talk about Ghost Of Tsushima withdrawals.

And then I pitch an idea about filming the cinematic journey of Bryan Keith as a love letter to Texas wrestling.

I even pitch how I would film it and casting ideas.

A delve into my mind.

This isn't an actual review in the sense of breaking down the game.

I actually give my thoughts while completing the task that brought me back to complete the story of a New Game + session.

I give some spoilers, but mainly I just give praise to an amazing achievement in entertainment. This is more than a game. It is an experience.

I give my thoughts on "Stray", the game where you play a cat and try to navigate thru a world where although humans have left...humanity seems to find a way.

I then give some updates on what is going on with me.

I felt the need to share a message with all of you.

The continuation of the last episode.

When will the part arrive?

Will we get a loaner?

Will the lienholder/financial institution show any humanity?

This question and more will be answered in this ongoing saga of backed order parts, spare parts shortages and the business of major auto dealerships.

On July 19, 2023, I put my vehicle into idle to unload some items and put them in our new storage unit. When trying to put my car in gear and hitting the accelerator, the vehicle would coast.

Days later, I would hear the phrase "Catastrophic Motor Event" for the first time. What would follow was a deep dive into the world of engine replacements, my dealership's tactics from their service department to their sales team, extended warranty policies and corporate intervention.

I record multiple sessions from the day the vehicle event occurred to the day before putting this episode out.

I even cover my past dealings with the same dealership under different regimes.

The situation is still fluid. This is my own personal experience.

Should I listen to the voice in my head that suggests another run in the wrestling ring?

I decide to think out loud, vocalize those thoughts, record it and release it for the public.

Get inside my mind at this particular point in my life.

My family and I moved this week. We downsized from a 4 bedroom, 2 story house to a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. I give a day by day account of my mindset, what brought us to downsize and how the move came together. Plenty of stream of consciousness and part therapy session.

I started this episode with a quick review of WWE Night Of Champions and then started stream of consciousness recording where I get into what gives me some of my biggest anxiety, my fluctuating credit score and flirting with the idea of wrestling again at 49.

I was dealing with a panic attack and decided to record an episode. Having to gather thoughts or mentally prepare to speak took the edge away from the panic. I gave an update on my Cyberpunk 2077 progress, debated if I had wrestled my final match in 2022, talked a little AEW and WWE Backlash and even disclosed some of the causes of my panic, anxiety and depression.

When I originally thought of recording this, I had an idea of where it might go. It went somewhere else, but I appreciate that I can put out stream-of-consciousness content. I discuss hindsight, playing the what if game when it comes to the industry and how looking back is shaping my mindset moving forward.

I decided to voice my appreciation for both The Last Of Us (Part 1) video game and the HBO Max series. I talk about the similarities, difference and how they compliment one another. I deep dive into both and talk a little about potential future recordings.

I decided to give game review a chance in this episode, and my first review would be "Hogwarts Legacy". I do go pretty in depth on my experience with the game, without to many spoilers. I also give my quick review of my 2 hour trial with "Marvel's Midnight Sun". My hope is to do more reviews as I complete games.

I get into events leading up to and following the lock down and my views on things in 2023.

***Warning: the subject matter is dark and raw. Listener discretion is advised. I decide to discuss my struggles with suicidal thoughts, the origin of those thoughts and how I work through them. I also cover a recent visit to the emergency room for chest pains and the process I went through. I appreciate all of those who have reached out.

Another stream of consciousness recording as I did deliveries. I spoke about how my 2022 was and some of my goals for 2023.

I discuss my induction into The Offshoots 2022 Hall Of Fame class. I give my thoughts on if I would be inducted. I talk about my fellow inductees and give my feelings on being inducted. I also give my thoughts on my future and give a little advice to talent.

I give some insight into my childhood and some of the trauma that occurred, being saved by my grandma, being reunited with my mom and gaining a step-dad. I give details about my life I rarely share publically. I also discuss how my childhood shaped my parenting style.

A little late night stream of consciousness on eulogizing the living and accepting flowers. I discuss my feelings on death and how it has evolved over the years.

Welcome back, everyone. This is a Happy Birthday Message for my wife. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and I wanted to share my feelings for her, with anyone willing to listen.

February 2000 was when I first stepped into a ring, took bumps and ran the ropes for the very first time. By April 2000 I was wrestling in my first few matches. And the rest is my history in the business. I discuss my 22 years in wrestling and give a few stories along the way.

I've always felt strangely confident about my ability to cut a promo, and others have called me a Promo God. I discuss my evolution as a promo and the evolution of the promo. I also give some insight into my mindset going into and during my very first live mic promo in over 2 years.

For 15 years, I have been a content creator on YouTube. I've never made any money from the platform. I was a YouTube Partner for more than half of my time creating content on the platform. I discuss my time creating content and the evolution of the process. I share some stories behind the many chapters of being a content creator.

I go into detail on my initial meeting with Booker T and the events surrounding that meeting. I also go into details about my mindset when it came to PCW at that time and what caused me to abruptly leave the company. I also discuss the creation of my YouTube channel. I even talk about going through a personal tragedy and how it impacted me long term.

What was it like to return to the ring? What was it like to debut at UPW? What went thru my mind prior to passing thru the curtain? What does my wife think? All of this is answered in this episode.

I worked with Booker T's Reality Of Wrestling from 2012 to 2018 as a talent, coach and producer. I discuss my time with the company and my feelings on the overall experience.

Independent Wrestling Entertainment ran its first show February 21, 2009 and for the next year I would be the showrunner and host for the show. I discuss all aspects of that time period from initial concept, video production, casting a roster, the politics of wrestling and my feelings on that and so much more.

Great Sexy Love, aka GSL, was a stable that was started by myself, Nate Andrews and the Great Ones in January 2018. I discuss, in depth, everything from inception to the growth of the group. I talk about each member and what I thought they brought to the table. I discuss the additions of Great Scott, Punkn Morrigan, Anthony Andrews and Yul (Remedy). I give my feelings on the impact of the group and how those close to me were very much fans of the stable and my time with them. I also talk about reunions and reformation and that possibility.

I've been using the DDPY form of yoga and rehabilitative workouts since 2011. I hadn't been on the app or completed a workout since September 2021. Last night, I completed my first DDPY since then. I get into why I had a break. I also give some insight into a shoulder injury that occurred in February of 2020.

Or will there be sponsors? I discuss my issues with asking for compensation and turning my passion into a profitable business. I also give out some flowers. I even give some insight into the GSL 2020 Web Series. Show your Support by giving this a Listen.

This was meant to be recorded and released on January 1st, but that did not occur. I find my resolutions can take some time to get started, much like this latest episode. One of my resolutions is to be more consistent with releasing episodes, and in this episode I discuss my thoughts on resolutions.

This episode covers my struggles with being a secret special podcast guest, some Doordash Dasher observations, my life at 47 and I give some audio flowers to a few special people.

This took multiple recordings to finish. This was my 4th recording, and it involved multiple breaks. I'm curious if anyone reads this description. If so, quick question...what are your thoughts on people who share their Venmo, CashApp or PayPal platforms? Have a good one!

Recorded during my last session of Doordashing for Doordash, I discuss my time with Doordash. I talk about why I chose to work for Doordash, some of my issues with the platform and my overall experience as a Doordasher.

In this episode, I share more thoughts on Jaxon's time in the NICU and his arrival home. I also discuss what bearing that may have on my future in the wrestling industry. I discuss grieving the loss of someone and my mental health. I even give a short review of AEW's All Out PPV.

My son, Jaxon, spent 1 month in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit following his birth. In this episode, I cover his time there and my feelings during it. Still getting back into the swing of things with podcasting.

On August 8, 2020 at 9:49 PM, in the midst of a pandemic, my son was born. In this first episode, of a new series, I take a look back at the days leading up to Jaxon's birth, the circumstances surrounding his early birth and my feelings about all of it.