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Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast

Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast

By Stewart Pink

Home of the witty ditty. Each episode features an original poem inspired by something that has caught my eye or captured my imagination. To support this podcast you can purchase my ebook “Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection” on the Amazon Kindle store, all proceeds go towards keeping this podcast alive!
Where to listen
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Google Podcasts

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Pocket Casts

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RadioPublic

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Spotify

Any chance you'd do me a review?
Any chance you'd do me a review?
After releasing my second poetry anthology "Also In The News" I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who bought it. After landing at the top of the Amazon charts I thought I'd tell the story of what happened after the release in rhyme! You can still get your copy of the book at www.stewartpink.com.
04:15
September 29, 2022
Holy Cramp
Holy Cramp
You know when you wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like a shark has bitten your leg? Well it happened to me... and then I wrote this.
03:35
August 15, 2022
They Brought It Home
They Brought It Home
Inspired by the lionesses incredible performance both on and off the pitch during the European Championships I wanted to capture the the jubilation across the nation today and wrote a witty ditty called They Brought It Home” followed a cheeky musical montage featuring the lionesses singing at yesterday’s press conference!
03:33
August 01, 2022
The Three Second Rule
The Three Second Rule
Has the cost of living crisis got you down? Don't worry, I've solved it... 
02:49
July 27, 2022
I Wish I Had The Moves
I Wish I Had The Moves
I love music and I love hitting the dance floor too. The only trouble is; I'm a terrible dancer. 
03:34
May 23, 2022
The World's Oldest Chocolate Egg
The World's Oldest Chocolate Egg
Inspired by the true story of 80 year old June, proud owner of the world's oldest chocolate egg, bought by her brother when she was 7 years old... in 1949!
04:24
April 20, 2022
Selby Leisure Centre
Selby Leisure Centre
Inspired by the true story of a man bestowed the honour of naming Selby's new leisure centre...
04:29
April 17, 2022
World's Richest Twit
World's Richest Twit
A witty ditty about a twitty
02:05
April 15, 2022
The Fray Bentos Classic
The Fray Bentos Classic
This poem is inspired by a true story from a friend of the show who recently faced that impossible challenge of trying to get into a Fray Bentos Pie that ultimately ended in broken power tools and shattered dreams/pastry!
05:32
April 05, 2022
I've Got It In Abundance (Mum)
I've Got It In Abundance (Mum)
In this special edition my mum joined the show to make an exciting radio debut and share a little unexpected positivity and a poem she wrote inspired by a recent positive experience!
06:26
March 25, 2022
Rod Stewart's Sandbags & Gladrags
Rod Stewart's Sandbags & Gladrags
This week, Rod Stewart was photographed filling the pot holes down his road so he could drive his Ferrari again. Inspired by, in homage to and entirely in honour of Sir Rod's heroic pot hole filling exploits I wrote this one in the hope he might fill a few more... I have a list, Rod. Hit me up.
03:54
March 18, 2022
Southend City
Southend City
Recorded from my home in Southend and to celebrate Southend's new city status. This one's less witty and rather from the heart....  "A city built on kindness, by the people of Southend, lovingly acknowledged, as the nation’s seaside friend."
04:06
March 02, 2022
Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy by Serena De Lastic
Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy by Serena De Lastic
This edition features paramedic, mother and all-round superhero Serena De Lastic. Inspired by her patients, family and her own experience of working through the pandemic as a paramedic and in vaccination clinics, Serena has written a poem and short story. Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy is a short illustrated story to help children with any anxieties and questions they may have around getting a vaccine.  You can hear more about the book in a full interview with Serena on my "Now You're Talking" podcast. To support Serena in publishing and getting more copies of this book into schools click here to visit her Crowdfunding page. Illustrations by Fran Montgomerie.
05:58
February 24, 2022
The Stool Sample
The Stool Sample
Inspired by the many questions anyone else who's ever had to do a stool sample will undoubtedly have wrestled with. (Don't worry, it's all quite clean.)
03:22
February 13, 2022
Burns, He Was A Rockstar
Burns, He Was A Rockstar
In a special edition of the poetry podcast I shared a witty ditty about the bard and in honour of Burns Night two very special listeners also wrote their own poems too!
04:02
January 25, 2022
I'm Gonna Start Cooking Flash
I'm Gonna Start Cooking Flash
When it comes to cooking, I'm certainly no master chef. But since I've seen Jamie Oliver's mansion on tele I've started wishing I was!
03:40
January 23, 2022
No Vax Djokovic
No Vax Djokovic
The world's tennis number one has been causing a stir down under. I've changed his name for legal reasons so we'll call him No Vax Djokovic... but this is his story.
03:54
January 10, 2022
2021: Crappy And Happy
2021: Crappy And Happy
At this time of year it's good to look back at the last 12 months. From poetry competitions and publishing my first anthology to getting the Drivetime gig, being in a film and releasing a song; I'm lucky to have had a lot of little wins this year in spite of everything 2021 threw at us all. I hope this little ditty might inspire you to think about some of the events of your year and hopefully find a few things to be proud of, happy about and grateful for. Here's to an awesome, happy and healthy 2022!
05:48
December 31, 2021
Time Is An Illusion
Time Is An Illusion
A wise man once said "time is an illusion" - he was right. This instalment is for everyone else constantly chasing time and wondering how on earth you could possibly have lost an hour in what felt like 10 minutes. 
02:23
November 19, 2021
She's Started Carving Pumpkins
She's Started Carving Pumpkins
This little one is born from the fear of kids who enjoy the spirit of Halloween just a little too much!  (No little cousins were harmed during the making of this poem)
02:60
November 05, 2021
A Smell That Gets In Everywhere
A Smell That Gets In Everywhere
This instalment was brought on by a popular washing detergent advert in which a man produces a shirt with some rather questionable stains, proceeds to clean them all off effortlessly and claims that both he and his filthy shirt came out quite literally smelling of roses.
04:13
October 29, 2021
Warriors With Ink
Warriors With Ink
To celebrate #NationalPoetryDay I wrote a poem inspired by some of the other writers who have motivated me to write. I hope this will spark a little creativity in you and I would love to hear your poem!
02:41
October 07, 2021
Alvin Stardust and The Coo Ca Choo Climbing Frame
Alvin Stardust and The Coo Ca Choo Climbing Frame
This instalment of the poetry podcast features another Arts Programme Poetry Challenge courtesy of soul deva and singing vegan mum JBRose who has come up with the following elements… Alvin Stardust, Barbados and a Climbing Frame. Enjoy!
03:10
September 08, 2021
The Modern Merry Men
The Modern Merry Men
This instalment of the poetry podcast features a witty ditty based on recent reports of large numbers of nudist ramblers that have taken to roaming around Sherwood Forest; the modern merry men!
04:19
August 12, 2021
The Laughing Cow Of Doxey
The Laughing Cow Of Doxey
This instalment of the poetry podcast is based on a true story this week of the daring escape of a cow that somehow found it's way to the M6 motorway.
03:56
August 06, 2021
The Bishop Of Old Brentwood Town
The Bishop Of Old Brentwood Town
I tasked the regular listeners of Phoenix FM’s Arts Programme with a little poetry challenge. I asked for 3 things; a person, a place and an object which I promised to craft into a witty ditty and share it on the arts program. We ended up with a bishop from Brentwood in a balaclava and (naturally) I took a slightly different on angle on it with a bit of an unexpected twist. 
04:42
July 24, 2021
The Sky Is Not The Limit
The Sky Is Not The Limit
This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features my thoughts on this week's headlines and ultimately begs the question, do we really need two billionaires in as many weeks rocketing themselves into space right now?
04:16
July 24, 2021
A "Poem Off" featuring Robert West
A "Poem Off" featuring Robert West
After a lovely interview with fellow Phoenix FM Presenter and Poet, Robert West we decided to have a go at a "poem off" - we weren't sure what would happen and listening back, I'm still not entirely sure what did happen! However, if you have been effected by any of the issues raised in these poems or if you would like to hear more about Rob's poetry book "Words, Words, Words" visit Phoenix FM.com or click here.
06:52
July 08, 2021
Football Fever
Football Fever
This week's instalment features a witty ditty celebrating England's big win against Germany earlier in the week and is a riff on the football fever sweeping across a post-covid Europe!
03:06
July 01, 2021
Somewhere In The Static
Somewhere In The Static
For some unknown reason my TV remote has been up to some bizarre new tricks that seem to defy all logic so this week's witty ditty is based on my infrared issues lurking somewhere in the static.
04:08
June 24, 2021
Bratwurst vs Cumberland
Bratwurst vs Cumberland
This witty ditty is inspired by the post-Brexit sausage war that seems to have bizarrely evolved from a trade regulation stand-off with Britains European neighbours on the import and export of cold meats. The victim? Sausages.
04:22
June 11, 2021
Beware The Curse of Sports Direct
Beware The Curse of Sports Direct
This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features a precautionary tale of my recent experience making an epic fail whilst online shopping. 
03:49
June 04, 2021
My Mum Has Just Got Spotify
My Mum Has Just Got Spotify
This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features a witty ditty inspired by my mum’s recent exploits / battles trying to master the world of streaming. Not to give too much away but I’m not entirely sure she’s mastered all the controls yet!
04:55
May 27, 2021
Erquelinnes: Outrage At The Belgian Border
Erquelinnes: Outrage At The Belgian Border
This episode features the story of a Belgian farmer who caused international outrage after he accidentally shrunk France by 7 foot when he moved an ancient stone. (Sacre Bleu)
04:40
May 13, 2021
Boy Band Seeks New Members
Boy Band Seeks New Members
This instalment features a poem inspired by everything we love/hate about boy bands.
04:23
May 06, 2021
The Battle of Josh
The Battle of Josh
This week's poem is a homage to Josh. THE Josh. Winner of the Josh fight that saw over 100 guys named Josh battle it out with pool noodles to determine the one true Josh. You’ll never guess who won...
06:37
April 28, 2021
Sometimes The Old Ways Are The Best
Sometimes The Old Ways Are The Best
This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features 007’s housekeeper and childhood guardian, Kincade with a witty ditty on why sometimes the old ways are the best.
05:15
April 09, 2021
Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga
Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga
This week, to celebrate a whole week since the release of Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection I'm sharing my favourite poem from the book in solidarity with the forgotten victim of social distancing: the conga. For more poems and details about the book visit www.stewartpink.com
05:07
April 02, 2021
Ship Out Of Water: Trouble On The Nile
Ship Out Of Water: Trouble On The Nile
This week's witty ditty features the incredible tale of one man’s monumental mistake that destroyed 12% of the world’s trade… in a ship.
06:02
March 25, 2021
The Going Of Cummings
The Going Of Cummings
This week there’s breaking news of a new ebook derived from The Poetry Podcast! Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection is coming soon – check back here next week for more details. In preparation, this week’s poem covers the one remaining piece of the Coronavirus puzzle I haven’t written about yet – the story of one man and his quest for good eyesight.
05:17
March 11, 2021
Tron Gets 3 Points
Tron Gets 3 Points
After Gary & his daughter Jess’ kind words about The Poetry Podcast on Friday's One2Three Show, this week’s instalment is dedicated to them and was created based on Gary’s challenge of writing a poem starring Tron in a catsuit & Vix 20. Thus, “Tron Gets Three Points” was born! Click play in the box below to hear it.
04:12
March 05, 2021
He Said...
He Said...
This episode of The Poetry Podcast features a poem chronicling the various things said over the last year… no names mentioned.
04:36
February 26, 2021
The Curious Case Of A Sandwich In Space
The Curious Case Of A Sandwich In Space
This week on The Poetry Podcast we’re saluting the astonishing achievements of NASA’s perseverance mission to Mars after it touched down on the red planet just hours ago by reliving the most infamous lunch in space history; the true story about the time a corned beef sandwich almost killed a space crew.
05:49
February 19, 2021
A Whitty Ditty
A Whitty Ditty
This episode of The Poetry Podcast features an ode to our chief medical officer, Professor Chris Whitty... A Witty Ditty.
04:05
February 12, 2021
Essex Police: Gotta Catch 'Em All
Essex Police: Gotta Catch 'Em All
This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem about the recent war of words and unlikely showdown between Essex Police and Pokémon Go players.
05:54
January 22, 2021
I Woke Up and I’m 30
I Woke Up and I’m 30
This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem to celebrate the wonders (and bemusement) of turning 30! 
03:26
January 14, 2021
Book Yourself A Cruise
Book Yourself A Cruise
This week the Poetry Podcast features a poem inspired by a bizarre advert I saw this week desperately trying to encourage us all to book a cruise
03:25
January 08, 2021
A Christmas Cracker
A Christmas Cracker
This week's witty ditty comes with a hefty dose of festive cheer and honours one of the most random and fun traditions of Christmas - the Christmas cracker and all its ingredients. I hope you enjoy it and best wishes for a "cracking" Christmas!
07:23
December 23, 2020
My Doctor
My Doctor
This week's witty ditty is a follow from last week's poem about My Optician. With similar vibes, this is My Doctor
02:33
December 18, 2020
My Optician
My Optician
The Poetry Podcast features a poem about the intimacy of visiting the opticians.
03:05
December 11, 2020
Man Vs Self-Checkout
Man Vs Self-Checkout
This episode of The Poetry Podcast features an infuriating account of the never-ending battle between man and self-checkout where all common sense, hope and discounts are lost!
06:39
December 03, 2020
Free The Gluten!
Free The Gluten!
This episode of The Poetry Podcast features my take on why we should liberate lasagna and rescue ravioli – free the gluten!
05:10
November 26, 2020
Mum's Address Book
Mum's Address Book
This episode of The Poetry Podcast features a poem about, possibly the oldest thing in anyone’s house, the family address book.
03:35
November 20, 2020
Coronavirus
Coronavirus
This week's witty ditty immortalises some of the mad and bizarre things the history books might forget when documenting the story of our battle with Coronavirus. Very much guided by the science; this is Britain's 2020, unabridged and described by yours truly.
08:05
November 12, 2020
Lockdown Limerick
Lockdown Limerick
This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem to lift the moods of everyone thrust back into lockdown, a lockdown limerick
02:45
November 06, 2020
Essential item, isn't it?
Essential item, isn't it?
This week's witty ditty is a poem inspired by a man in Newport who “exposed” a loophole in the list of essential items in a welsh supermarket.
05:41
October 30, 2020
Tiers Of A Town
Tiers Of A Town
This week's poem is inspired by the real-life trials and tribulations from a road in Essex where half of the houses are in one tier and the other half are in another.
04:59
October 23, 2020
Library Book Returns
Library Book Returns
This week's poem is inspired by the true story of a library book checked out in 1962 and returned... 57 years late!
05:36
October 15, 2020
Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga
Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga
This week's poem is a timely reflection on one of the hardest hit victims of Covid19… the conga.
03:30
October 15, 2020
Silenced By The Lambs
Silenced By The Lambs
This week's poem is based on a true story and one formerly featured in The Darwin Awards. It tells the horrifying yet hilarious tale of a farmer's wife who came to an abrupt end at the mercy of her own animals on a farm in Durham.
05:17
October 09, 2020
Art Heist Fail
Art Heist Fail
This week's poem is based on the true and embarrassing story of an art heist that went disastrously wrong in the simplest of ways.
03:26
October 08, 2020
A Little Town Called Borja (The Legend Of The Ecce Homo)
A Little Town Called Borja (The Legend Of The Ecce Homo)
This week's poem is inspired by the modern legend that is the Ecce Homo; the story of a less than divine intervention at the church in a little town called Borja.
04:39
October 07, 2020
War Of The Flies
War Of The Flies
In the first of a new reincarnation of this podcast we kick off The Poetry Podcast, an audiological anthology of my poems featuring a weekly "witty ditty". This week I've penned a poem inspired by the true story of a man who waged war on a fly with devastating consequences.
08:21
October 06, 2020