Strategy Game with Lauren Shippy

Can you think of a time when you felt seen? This would be a time when someone knew your name and used it, when they looked you in the eye while you were talking, they observed what you were saying and maybe not saying. You just knew they genuinely made an effort to see you. How did it make you feel? Perhaps acknowledged, accepted, and fulfilled in the kind of way that you don't need to defend yourself in any way. Doesn’t this sound great? The good news is, we can have this, and give this gift to others. 

Knowing ourselves can also help us tell others what we want and need from a relationship with them. And obviously, communicating to those closest to us what we desire from our relationship with them is an important part of keeping it healthy.

And if we’re unable to see our own selves, we’ll have a hard time seeing others. When we can look in the mirror and see ourselves clearly, we can give ourselves and others the gift of understanding because we know what we’ve been through and can empathize because we have space to do so. Understanding and compassion bring healing, and that healing allows us to have space to see, know, and hear others. It’s a chain reaction as one piece of this puzzle leads to the next.

If we are able to see, know, and hear ourselves, we’ll understand our strengths. And if we understand our strengths, we can use them to walk in our purpose. And when we walk in our purpose, we experience fulfillment in life. See how powerful this is? Listen in for more.

The voices in our minds can be some of the greatest encouragement, but also some of the greatest threat to our well being. Taking an account of them is critical - in this episode, we're talking about all of the different types of voices that enter into our personal "news feeds" daily, and how to discern helpful vs. hurtful impacts.

I'm going to be sharing a series of these words that have started interrupting my thoughts on a regular basis - when I hear them I run for the nearest piece of paper or note in my phone. These have encouraged me and I hope they encourage you too.

This one is all about how to stay focused on your original intent, original purpose for developing something new, but pulling in the wisdom from the path along the way.

If you think of the different types of friends you’ve had throughout your life, I would guess it looks like a myriad of different personality types, hometowns, life experiences, and more. It’s a great tapestry of different types of people that have influenced you, threaded throughout your life. We spend a whole lot of time with friends over the years. There are many different types of friendships that we have. 

Seeing, hearing and knowing our friends brings a new level of intimacy to our relationships. It allows us to understand each other, even if we don’t agree. It allows us to empathize with each other, even if we would do things differently. We can step into their shoes, and feel how they’re feeling, and be there for each other. What we try to do for others, is what we usually want for ourselves. What do you try to do for others that you desire in friendships? When you first hear them, really see them for who they are without judgment, and know them - they’ll be open to hearing what you desire from friendships. You have an opportunity to connect on a deeper level with friends, which brings life, and be intentional in how you show them love and appreciation. This will give them the opportunity to respond back.

In the workplace, we spend as much time, if not more time together with our teams than our family and friends. We tend to not give these relationships as much weight, but the function of them is just as important, from a standpoint of productivity but also our well being. Have you ever had a boss or a coworker that you couldn’t stand? You would try to avoid them at all costs, their very presence felt toxic, and it affected you more than you’d like to admit. You built up so much animosity, dread, and anger over time, that it ruined a lot of your days. Or what about a family member, that you have previous patterns or woundedness from the past with - and now you’re working with them. The point here is, we have to give weight to the relationships that take our time each day, and notice the effects of those relationships. We have the power to “flip the script” on those challenging relationships, just by starting to think about what it looks like to see, know and hear them. We might have to clear out some weeds in the way in order to do that, but when we can separate ourselves from their behavior toward us (release/forgiveness), then we can start to ask the good questions. 

Where did they come from? 

What makes them the way they are? 

What have they been through in their life? 

What do we hear them repeatedly saying that may be a source of woundedness? 

What do they really want? 
Maybe it’s encouragement, validation, or respect. Regardless of our opinion of whether or not they deserve it, we can’t change them, but we can, in healthy ways, change our script to indicate that we see, know and hear them. Listen in as we talk about how teams can operate in a healthy way, how you can approach those coworkers, and what it means for organizational growth.

When you think of your neighbors, you might have a great feeling or a feeling of dread. But regardless of how you feel about your neighbors, they are a part of our everyday lives. We live on the same street, we see them coming and going, we know if something big happens in their lives, some gather around holidays. You see them every morning out walking the dog or watering their plants or getting their mail. You might stand outside with your coffee and talk to them in the mornings, or mow your lawns at the same time, or work on outdoor projects together. Maybe you’ve had lemonade stands with your kids (like us) where neighbors graciously come by and pay way more than they should for a glass of lemonade. Think about how much you “do life” alongside of your neighbors, even if you don’t get together with them a lot. Neighborhoods are pockets of communities that make up our towns and cities. They are the fabric of our everyday lives. When hard things happen, we tend to lean in a bit more. Our human instinct is to pull in, and if we pull in geographically, our neighborhood is on the radar.

If we widen the lens, your neighbor can be your local barista, the paper carrier, your local gym, the mail person, the Amazon delivery crew, or all of the people you see everyday and don’t really notice that you see them everyday. They are a part of your life, and you are a part of theirs. They may be an acquaintance, but they may know things about you that even your close friends or family don’t - like your coffee order, or your normal delivery habits, or maybe even something you’ve shared on a good or a bad day. Many mornings I’ll walk around our neighborhood early in the morning, and I see the same few crossing guards every day. Even though we don’t say more than a “good morning”, I feel their steady presence in our community, and look forward to seeing them each morning. We may not realize it, but there are probably people we count on seeing daily or weekly that we may not even have much conversation with, but just their presence gives us comfort. Life is like that.

I was on a trip with my dad for a couple days, and he told a story that stuck with me - it was one that I hadn’t heard before. It was an amazing example of paying attention to what your customers are asking for - and delivering on the seemingly really small things that become game changers for your word of mouth strategy. Seeing, Hearing and Knowing people first IS a strategy. Listen in to find out how.

We all have people in our lives. Whether they realize it or not, they want to be seen, known and heard. We can be a part of the solution. Every one of us has the opportunity every day to see, know and hear people around us.   

Who have you always been? What makes you the way you are and how can you use it to create your "one thing" or define the way you're going to lead?  

Sometimes, the walls we’re continuously hitting are the points of surrender that we need to address most.

If you keep banging your head up against the same “wall” or relationship dynamic, it's time for a change. Our stubborn human nature doesn’t want to surrender, so we do everything we can to fight it, but we’re not winning. Pushing back in the same way one more time is going to do nothing. I wonder what it would look like if we identified the “wall”, how we’re repeatedly responding, and asked ourselves how we could respond differently through a lens of seeing, hearing and knowing the other person? I wonder what defenses it would bring down, what breakthroughs would begin to happen over time on both sides, and even if not on the other side, breakthroughs within us. We can only control ourselves, and we’re only responsible for ourselves. If we lived it and let go of the rest, we’d feel a lot freer, and we all have access to that freedom.

We’ve been in a place where we’ve experienced a lot of “undoing”, whether related to belief systems, assumptions, judgements or opinions. In the course of history, I imagine that there are cycles of this over and over again. When hard things happen - we start to question all of the things around us. Sometimes that happens subconsciously. We may not even realize it’s happening. When we enter into a sort of trauma mode, or when we get “squeezed”, all of the random thoughts that have been floating around gather and come to the surface. When we get squeezed, sometimes we don’t like what comes out. It’s a refinement process. When we have hard things happen to us or see hard things happening around us, it’s a wake up call. A reality check. It challenges us to think about why we’re here, what really matters, who we are, and maybe what we want to change. I think we’ve been through a lot of that in the last few years as a society. This isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last.   

The point here is, not only do we have all of the “noise” happening around us in the world, in our local community and friend circles, managing our lives, but then we have this internal “noise” that bubbles to the surface sometimes more than others, and I think it’s something we don’t give enough credit. It impacts us more than we recognize. And when we try to ignore it, it doesn’t go away. What’s your internal noise? What are the questions that have been bubbling up to the surface of your mind? Oftentimes, stating them can be the hardest part.  

Your calling doesn't change throughout your life, but your assignment will.  

Craig Cooney from Daily Prophetic shares a lot of wisdom and practical tools in this episode about what it looks like to hear God. There are so many different ways to see, know and hear God and this episode was so freeing for me personally.   

The more I went through the closet, the better I became at answering and knowing whether or not my answer was accurate for myself. I was learning my own voice in a different way. Turns out, I had two large trash bags full of things I didn’t really like hanging around in there. It felt so good to throw them out of the closet that my enthusiasm increased as I took things out. As I continued my evaluation - something great happened - nothing became off limits. When I first started the clean out, I felt guarded, protective of certain things. But as I got into it, and realized how much freedom was coming from getting rid of these things that I didn’t really like anyway, and I trusted the process more and more. So I started going back through some of the things I had brushed by in the beginning and listening, or trusting, my answer, and that’s how I filled the second bag. When I was done, I felt lighter. I guess it turns out that sometimes our spaces can be related to how much noise we have in our minds.   

What layers of noise do you experience and what are the triggers of that noise?  

What can you clear out to get some more space for the things that matter most to you?  

What CLASSICS do you have - default patterns that you rely on that maybe need to be disrupted - UNASSUMING thoughts, relationships or systems that aren’t serving you well and are hiding beneath the surface, FALSE ALARMS - things that you think you enjoy, but you don’t.  

What are your true yes’s and how can you say yes to them more?  

Listen in to learn more about clearing space for the things that matter most.  

THE TENSION IS THICK FROM THE PREVIOUS SEASON.

86% of Americans say that they feel exhausted by the division in America.

If you keep "hitting the wall" with yourself, or relationships - unsure of how to move forward when hard things come up - this episode is for you. Learn to process through emotions simply and get the change and freedom you need with yourself and others. With 25+ years of leadership and study in the field, Linda Tonnesen is one of my personal friends and I look up to her as a mentor. She's incredible, grace filled, and has this way about her that will leave you feeling refreshed, and just free after you listen to this episode. 

I had always felt that there is a longing for “more” deep down, underneath all of us that we don’t even realize. Maybe we just don’t know about it. But it’s a longing to really be seen, known and heard. Some of us may deflect by not sharing, some of us may overcompensate by seeing others and serving them to the point of exhaustion, some of us may think that we have the connection in our lives with lots of friends, but it’s only on the surface - and I think there’s more. I think there’s a longing (subconsciously in many cases) to be truly seen - to have someone acknowledge us right where we are, to be heard - to listen for the things we are saying and even not saying, and known - truly known like I believe our Creator knows us.

Does this scare you a little as you read it? It’s ok, nobody else is here, just you, me and this book. It’s not like the emperor’s new clothes (remember that kids book?), you won’t be put in the spotlight to share your deepest darkest secrets, most embarrassing moments or discomfort of being vulnerable. You’re safe here.

Maybe you find resistance rising up inside of you right now, but I want to gently nudge you to keep going to the other side. Maybe we might attribute it to a lack of time or space, but what’s behind that? Peel back the layers, there’s a lot more hiding in there (or might be, I won’t make assumptions before I know you) but I know for me, I’m afraid. I’m afraid to ask uncomfortable questions, I’m afraid to dive into the deep, not knowing where it’ll go.

This episode is packed full of lightbulb moments - tune in as Graham Bodie from the Listen First Project shares with us on turning to wonder, the importance of nuance, and looking at why we believe a lot of what we believe. This conversation put to words so much of what was in my mind, but hadn't yet figured out how to say it, I'm so excited to share it with you.   

I want you to take a minute and think about the people around you in your life - your family, friends, acquaintances, mailman, barista, assistant, coworker, and anyone else that comes to mind. These people make up a part of your daily life experience. As you think about each one of them in slideshow mode in your mind, what expression is on their face? What phrases do you hear them saying? What is the overall feeling that comes to mind when you think of each person?

As you see this slideshow of photos of all of the people that make up your life, I wonder if you have any thoughts that come to mind that surprise you. Things that you have picked up on, maybe an underlying sense that there’s more behind the standard greeting. I wonder if right now, you made a list, and wrote down the answers to these questions, if you also might hear a phrase for some of them that goes beyond the expression, or phrases or feeling. Maybe there’s a repeated pattern, or a concern, or something that you might be hearing them say repeatedly.

This is the start of how practicing seeing, knowing and hearing others can change everything - and I hope that it does for you too (in a good way). It gave me a new perspective, fresh eyes to see myself and others, that gave me freedom. My hope is that you’ll feel the same as you read this too.

Did you know that empathy doesn't just mean conjuring up feelings to understand someone? That actually can discourage true empathy. Empathy is strategic and can be learned!

This is one of the most impactful episodes we've recorded in the series - IDEOS founder Christy Vines joins us to talk about how they're leading a grassroots movement throughout the U.S, bringing people together that are different from each other. If you've experienced division and toxic polarization, this episode is a must listen. 

I've been working on a project for a few years now....it came to me in a very distinct moment of clarity - what would it look like if we really could see, know and hear each other and how would it change the world?

I'm excited to share with you that I've been writing a book all about what I'm learning, and I'm going to be highlighting that work here in this season of the podcast. I hope you'll listen in with me as we interview experts and thought leaders in the space, as well as share of my own writing before the book comes out. And share it with your friends! Anyone this series will help, please pass it on. This is about something much bigger than ourselves. 

- Lauren 

Every year around this time many of us look backward and forward – review the past, examine our wins/losses, then focus on the future goals/strategy/plans. These are good things to do both personally and/or as a founder/solopreneur. 

While it is important to think through these things, I’d like to suggest a better starting point—look inward at WHO you are and WHO your business is.  

Asking WHO questions really need to precede the what and how questions which are typical of year-end reviews and New Year’s goal setting.   

Guest contributor Jen Fonseca shares on the StoryWork blog and we recap her powerful questions here - listen in for 4 questions you need to ask yourself before setting any goals for next year.   

Do any of these sound familiar?   

• You are doing everything you can just to get through the day. 
• You have focused all your energy on the next 24 hours. You are unable to even think about the next day, never mind next week. - You can only consider one task at a time. Everything is URGENT! 
• You feel utterly alone and helpless. You are the only one who can do the job right, and you must do it yourself. 
• You push others away without thinking because you don’t have time or energy to deal with them. 
• You don’t eat properly, sleep is a foreign concept, and your stress level is so high you feel like you will snap at any moment. 
• You rush around like crazy but never get caught up. 
• You can’t remember the last time you laughed and enjoyed a day. 
• All you can do is react to each situation that arises.   

This episode for you - I'm sharing 4 ways to break out of survival mode.  

Do you ever have seasons where you feel like you're so foggy you can't walk straight? Your head is swirling with thoughts, and you can't make sense of them? I do. There's a lot of "noise" on many levels that we have to contend with when it comes to our minds: our own emotional state, the state of our family or relationships, the state of our community, and the state of our world. Whether we acknowledge all of these levels or not, the thoughts still exist somewhere in our subconscious minds about all of these things. Layer in social media, emails, texts, tweets, emails, snapchats and you've got a total swirling mess of fog inside of your brain.  

This episode will show you the one simple secret to gaining clarity in your life.   

The louder the world's noise gets, the more I want to seek out quiet, solitude, and rest. There are places and spaces we can continually create, regardless of the circumstance, and when we learn to walk in these regularly, I believe we can become great leaders - in our homes, workplaces, with friends, and with everyone around us.   

Listen in as we share why it's important to rest, the different types of rest, and how you can start practicing this.   

Recent studies have shown that taking the time for silence restores the nervous system, helps sustain energy, and conditions our minds to be more adaptive and responsive to the complex environments in which so many of us now live, work, and lead.

Listen in as we unpack what it looks like to incorporate this superpower into your daily life, and how it's directly connected to new idea and strategy generation. 

Your team is a large part of your fuel, if they aren’t connected to you and the larger purpose, they lose momentum, just like you do.  

And when they feel connected, they want to work harder for you because they see that you genuinely care about their progress.  

In this episode of The Strategy Game Podcast, we're sharing 3 solid ways that you can get connected to your team tactically right away.   

Making space to ask WHY leads to evaluation and realization.

When we ask WHY on the things that we’re taking for granted, we open up space to consider new ways. 

New and different ways from the industry “standard”, and this makes space for Blue Ocean Strategy….the opportunity to create a business model that is unique, nothing like the competitors in the market.

So make space to ask why today….write a list of things that you might consider “standards” and ask why - there might be a different way, a better way that can create more revenue, cut expenses, or increase efficiency.

Your business is like a rubiks cube, as an entrepreneur when we iterate and shift those tiles around, we discover the convergence of factors that becomes our “secret sauce”.

No one (that we know of) is translating identity into strategy, and there's such a need for it. When we understand our personal and/or company identity and how it translates to those we serve, its rocket fuel. In this episode, we're sharing 3 key questions you can ask yourself to effectively translate the identity of your business, nonprofit or movement into a strategy that works.

Anyone? I'm sure over the last few years, you have felt this way (I know I have). If you can relate, listen in to this episode for some encouragement, inspiration, and tactical steps on how to navigate capacity.

If you're in a place where you're foreseeing a pivot, re-evaluation or transition is for you. In this episode we're talking about the 5 key things that you need to focus on during a season like this in order to be successful. This is an eye opener, and even as I was talking through these things, it reminded me how how important these things are! 

Do you ever feel like you're in a game of Chutes & Ladders - trying to reconnect with your vision/goals? Especially about half way through the year, things seem to get daunting, we can sometimes forget why we started - this episode is here to help you. We're recapping Belay CEO Tricia Sciortino's guest blog post as she shares 5 key questions around assessing where you are - that will help you regroup and figure out where you're going next. 

We all go through seasons of restlessness or disconnect as it relates to purpose in our lives. We're sharing a recap of 5 different gifts that, when practiced, can re-ignite that connection with purpose in your life at work, home or in community with others. 

This is probably one of my favorite episodes so far. Strategy guru, Helen Schmid, and I chat about passions, how to navigate decision points in life, and how faith has played a role in navigating through life. 

In this episode, we're recapping a blog post from Jean Roberts on Treating Yourself Like a Client and the 2 things you must balance in order to have success in your business or nonprofit. This 7 minutes is extremely important and we don't want you to miss this window into taking these things and applying them.