Stubborn Love

Do you want a fulfilling love and sex life but find yourself in never ending fights and avoiding intimacy altogether? This episode goes over CRUCIAL conversations you need to get your sex and love life back on track. 

Key takeaways from the episode:

• How important communication is in enhancing sexual intimacy between partners

• What role foreplay has in a fulfilling sexual experience and how time can vary for a partner’s needs

• What aftercare is and why it’s just as important as foreplay

• How couples can address and overcome mismatches in their need for physical touch

Katie Ziskind specializes in helping disconnected couples who want to work together after high conflict fights, affairs, sexual avoidance, and sexual rejection to develop a foundation of emotional connection, trust, love, and gain sex positive skills to understand foreplay, sexual pleasure, rebuild sexual desire, connect to their sexual, erotic playful side. 

Katie helps couples feel safe and excited emotionally and sexually about growing together. She gives you a safe place to talk about how your strict, conservative, religious upbringing has lead to feelings of shame, guilt, fear, avoidance, lack of satisfaction, and anxiety around sex and shift into reconnecting to sexual pleasure. She helps couples get familiar and comfortable talking about sex and gain sex positive education. 

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[8:45] “Sometimes we grow up in a strict conservative and religious upbringing, where we get no education on sex, and then we also get misinformation. Like sometimes we learn that like sex toys are bad or masturbation is bad and it's like none of those things are inherently bad. We just don't learn about how they can be tools to learn about ourselves or to build desire.

[15:18] “we're very groomed in society to like, You know, pay the bills or like go grocery shopping and you know, take the kids to soccer practice and those are beautiful things that are publicly socially acceptable but you know, we're not taught from a young age: hey, like, let's talk about what areas on your partner's body that they really like touched or what areas do you like touched and how can you vocalize that”

Connect with Katie

This episode digs deep into the journey of strengthening relationships through the Gottman method, sharing personal anecdotes and professional insights. 

Key takeaways from the episode:

• What is the Gottman method and how does it apply to couples therapy?

• What are 'bids' in the context of relationship dynamics, and why are they important?

• The impact of individual therapy on couples' dynamic

• How does the intersection of mental health with kink, BDSM, ethical non-monogamy, and LGBTQ issues impact therapy and relational understanding?

• How can communication and understanding intentions in relationships lead to better connection and trust?

• What strategies can couples adopt from the Gottman method to prevent relationship issues and strengthen their bond?

A former Industrial and Systems Engineer, Derek Wittman is an LMHC in NY and LPC in PA with over 10 years in clinical practice. From the treatment of Substance Use Disorders to couples therapy with the Gottman Method, he had seen families reconnect in healing  from the grip of trauma into restored relationships. 

With precious operations management experience, Wittman has recently taken the leap from his Clinical Manager position with a top 10 national healthcare company to start his own solo private practice.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[27:17] "and I recognize that if she is hurt about something I did or said, that's absolutely valid, it doesn't mean that she hates me, it means that she trusts me enough to say it. And I'm so glad that I can offer her that level of safety, that she can rest on me and rest in a relationship and I don't get offended by her feelings. I want her to feel safe with me. I see in various communities that I'm a part of where ‘Am I overreacting?’  is a very common question. It's like, well, your feelings are not a reaction period. They're all internal. What are you doing with those feelings? You're throwing a temper tantrum?  Are you crying? Are you calmly sharing  how you feel about something? I hope I can always be calmly sharing or receiving something.”

Connect with Derek

Summary

Simon Rinne is a licensed social worker and shared his personal journey of dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, overcoming alcohol misuse, and his experience finding the right therapists, leading to his commitment to men's mental health.

Key takeaways from the episode:

• How the home environment and societal pressures impact men's mental health. We talk about how these pressures can be mitigated.

• Simon’s concept to challenge societal norms and embrace a fuller, more emotionally expressive definition of masculinity.

• Why is finding the right therapist so important and how can it significantly enhance the effectiveness of the therapy?

• Simon's holistic approach to therapy involves blended lifestyle modifications, professional help, and supportive relationships.

• How partners can play a supportive role in the journey of men’s mental health.

Simon is a husband and father, mental health advocate and social worker. As the Founder of Mindful Men, he’s dedicated to supporting men with mental illness and disability. Simon lived with OCD, Depression, Anxiety, and Burnout for 30 years, struggling in silence, using alcohol to feel "normal."  At 28 Simon began the journey of healing and hopes to inspire others to believe that they can turn their pain into purpose, and move from surviving to thriving.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[07:15] "I expected to walk into the doctor and the psych and they heal me after one session and that would be it. They give me a magic pill and that would be it. Didn't happen. Um, I didn't really discover that  you need to do the work on yourself and really start changing the way you look at yourself until I burned out.”

[35:34] "I think we need to start normalizing mental health in the same way that we normalize our physical health. Our minds are important part of it because the mind is what gets everything going. So if our mind's cluttered or, fuzzy or depressed or anything like that there's there's ways that we can fix that."

Connect with Simon

Summary

Betrayal in relationships, discovering cheating, or realizing the person is not who you thought they were. All of these are painful relational experiences that can take quite the journey to recover from, but it doesn’t have to be painful or long with the help of Accelerated Resolution Therapy.

Key takeaways from the episode:

• Learn what betrayal trauma is and how it shows up in relationships

• Discover the emotional impact of betrayal trauma on your own sense of trust

• Understand the role of “Protector” for future betrayal

• Find out how Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) can address the root wounds and relieve traumatic responses.

Katie K. May is a therapist, group practice owner, speaker, author, and consultant. As a Linehan Board-Certified Therapist and Master Accelerated Resolution Therapy Practitioner, her expertise shines in her work with depressed teens, the LGBTQ community, and parents dealing with the complex emotions surrounding their child's mental health challenges while reimagining their future. 

Katie's deep passion lies in helping "black sheep," neurodivergent individuals, and those with traumatic backgrounds, find their sense of belonging. Together, she collaborates with her clients to create personalized coping strategies that empower them to navigate overwhelming emotions and build a life of connection and purpose.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[07:44] "I can help my clients regulate and  restructure their beliefs about who they can trust and how they can trust themselves and really activate that self trust again and decrease the self blame."

[31:00] "It is typical in betrayal trauma for your body to go into overdrive and to overcorrect. If you were trusting before, [you may] be completely untrusting as a way to protect yourself which is an extreme that is intended to protect you, but in fact, likely doesn't serve you at all."

Connect with Katie

Website: creativehealingphilly.com 

Instagram: @creative_healing

Facebook: facebook.com/creativehealingphilly

TikTok: @teensupportcenter

Connect with Paige Bond

This episodes features a solo episode with your host, Paige Bond, LMFT who provides premarital therapy for couples. 

You'll learn about:

• The benefits of premarital counseling
• If you HAVE to be struggling with something to seek premarital counseling
• Common signs that you may need premarital counseling
• What types of skills will you learn in premarital therapy
• When to start premarital therapy
• Common topics covered during premarital counseling

Paige Bond is the host of the Stubborn Love podcast, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and the Creator of the Jealousy to Joy Journey. Her mission is to help people-pleasing millennials navigate non-monogamy so they can tame their jealousy and love with ease.

Accelerated Resolutions for Heartbreak uses brain-based procedures that involve imagined exposure, image replacement, somatic focus, eye movements, and hypnosis—memory reconsolidation steps to change how the brain stores an emotional memory.

Key takeaways from the episode:

• Romantic breakups activate systems of the brain involved in feeling emotional distress and increase information processing of thoughts, images, and memory.

• Explore what post-romantic distress is and how Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) can relieve it.

• Dispel grief and heartbreak myths like “it takes a long time and you never get over the loss.”

Dr. Elizabeth Michas is a licensed clinical psychologist who has helped thousands of people recover from abusive relationships and heartbreak by transforming their emotional pain and trauma with brain-based perspectives and interventional methods to play the brain for change. 

She is an expert in the neuropsychology of change, brain-based hypnotherapy, and eye-movement reprocessing processes for the rapid resolution of post-romantic distress, anxiety, trauma, love addiction, grief, and heartbreak.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[04:00] "But with a therapist, they're like stabilizing the problem, validating them and people were getting more stuck and sometimes dropping out of therapy and saying therapy isn't working for me. You know, “I'm just more obsessed with my ex. I'm not getting over it. I don't want to date.” And so these newer technologies, like using eye movement reprocessing and also hypnosis were doing something different when it came to the brain processing and responding and memory."

[27:00] "So you're not choosing to be a negative thinker or have a negativity bias. It's a feature of how your brain operates, you're just getting played by it."

Connect with Elizabeth

Summary

Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) can be used in healing relational trauma and promoting personal growth. Discover how ART uses bilateral stimulation to move stuck images, sensations, and emotions in the brain, allowing individuals to find relief, gain a new perspective, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Key takeaways from the episode:

• Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is an offshoot of EMDR using bilateral stimulation to help move along unwanted images, sensations, and emotions, providing a new perspective on traumatic events.

• How ART sessions can help infidelity for couples process trauma, leading to compassion and understanding.

• ART helps individuals maintain the memory of events without the intense emotional reactions.

• ART is not limited to trauma; it can address day-to-day issues like anxiety, depression, and codependency.

Allison is licensed as an LICSW in MN, Texas and Wisconsin.  She practices out of Minnesota and is passionate about helping people live their best lives.  Allison specializes in working with high achieving adults who have a history of childhood trauma, both big and little t traumas.  She uses an eclectic blend of mind, body, spirit interventions as well as Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), a smooth pursuit eye movement therapy. ART clears bothersome sensations and emotions in the body and brain.  

Allison is passionate about helping people heal the root cause of their challenges, whether that results from childhood trauma or a traumatic experience that occurred later in life.  More often than not, these traumatic experiences result in challenges which strain or fracture relationships with others, and or the self, throughout the lifespan. 

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[30:20] "ART is like you're not really doing anything different. It's just you're letting someone guide you through helping you allow your brain to move that stuff into the right spot. So you're not just sitting there on your hamster wheel."

[18:23] "It's like when we have trauma... It's like the furnace is always running in the background. It never shuts off. And then when it finally shuts off, it's like this different level of peace. It's quiet and gentle and clean in some way, like light. [That’s what ART can do.]"

Connect with Allison 

Summary

Annie Robershaw shares her personal narrative and unveils the Dare to Dream process. Tune in to explore how to craft a self-fulfilling life, shatter societal expectations, and the importance of having a clear vision that can lead to unexpected magic.

Key takeaways from the episode:

• Why society often views child-free women as substandard
• The struggles and stereotypes faced by child-free women
• Why creating spaces for child-free women is so important
• The power of saying 'no' and setting boundaries so you can let your dreams flourish

Annie Robershaw is the founder of Delightfully Free, where she provides support for childfree women, whether by choice or by circumstance, as they Dare to Dream and create lives that honor their authentic needs and desires. She offers community and group offerings to help pave a path out of hustle culture and return to Nature's cyclical, seasonal growth model.

She is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice, a Certified EMDR Therapist, and an EMDRIA Approved Consultant providing support and mentorship to emerging EMDR therapists in private practice.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[7:43] "[People] who are child free by choice are really asked to justify their decision over and over and over again. And that there's something about child free women that makes certain people uncomfortable. That somehow our existence isn't enough, just as it is. Like somehow we're not worthy of being, without justifying our existence by who we care for."

[32:57]"I think as a fellow people pleaser, it's revolutionary to get cozy and familiar with the word no. And when you realize, oh, actually some really great things happen when you say no is, is even more shocking when you go down that path and that the no's actually lead to more magical enhanced yeses."

Connect with Annie

Struggling to snooze in your open relationship? Dive into how sleep and non-monogamy collide in this chat with therapist and sleep expert, Savannah Hipes. Get ready for sleep tips that'll make you want to dream on!

Key takeaways from the episode:

• Discover how your sleep patterns might be affecting your romantic life and what you can do about it

• Learn how to tackle nightmares that make your sleep less than optimal

• Identify the best relaxation techniques that can transform your sleep quality

• Learn how to prioritize rest without compromising your intimate life

Savannah Hipes is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Behavioral Sleep Medicine provider. She uses evidence-based treatments to equip clients with specific tools for changing their sleep patterns. She helps clients try unique strategies that teach their brain and body how to sleep again. Whether it’s Insomnia or persistent Nightmares, she’s there to help retrain your mind and body so you can get the rest you deserve.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[36:15] "Is it [anxiety] worse when you're tired? If it is, then maybe sleep should be something that we prioritize as a method of helping you work through your anxieties and your difficult thoughts.."

[38:22] “Testosterone is usually released when you first go to sleep, that's when it kind of primarily is being released and it hits a peak when you hit your first REM cycle of sleep… So if you're delaying that sleep by multiple hours, you're really delaying that testosterone release and over time, it actually just goes down.”

Connect with Savannah

Summary

Not sure how to express what you want in your open relationship as you navigate polyamory, swinging, or some other CNM dynamic? We get down to business talking about how you can ditch people-pleasing so you can feel empowered in expressing yourself without sacrificing your desires or preferences.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Why setting boundaries is tough for people who like to please others.

• Tips for calming down nerves before difficult conversations.

• Learning to say 'no' nicely and meaning it.

• Understanding how to handle tough relationship talks in non-monogamous structures.

Vicki Smith is a licensed psychotherapist and a coach who specializes in people pleasing and perfectionism. She enjoys working with these issues because she loves seeing people discover their true nature and then share it with the world. Her mission is to help folks not just TALK ABOUT the life they’ve always wanted, but to actually start LIVING IT OUT!

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

[25:54] "Boundaries are scary because first we don't know what we want... and then we feel like there's gonna be conflict."

[24:41] “I believe that most of us pleasers white knuckle our way through boundaries and we hope that we really don't have to have a conversation with someone. We hope we can just kind of plop it out there and that person understands and takes it and says, ‘oh, yes, of course.’ The thing that keeps us from speaking up is we are afraid of staying in the conversation.”

Connect with Vicki

Summary

Who are you and what do YOU really want? Carrie’s mission is to spread the message about how relationship diversity can transform your relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Discover why your past can hit your relationship's 'trigger points’

• The mindset shifts needed to building your dream relationship

• How remembering who you truly are instead of trying to “fix” something in yourself could be a better path forward 

• Talk therapy, somatic secrets, and unlocking energy healing - your recipe for transformation

• The importance of self-care, personal growth, and questioning societal norms in building fulfilling relationships

International Best-Selling Author, Relationship Diversity Advocate and Podcast Creator, Carrie Jeroslow, teaches people the tools to relate consciously to themselves and others. 

She is the host of Relationship Diversity Podcast, where she aims to explore, question, and celebrate all aspects of relationship structure diversity from soloamory to monogamy to polyamory, and everything in between. This is an inclusive space, giving people the permission to design their unique relationships from the knowledge and acceptance of their unique selves. She believes that when we learn and accept who we truly are, we are able to be more authentic in our relationships with others, bringing an unparalleled sense of joyfulness and fulfillment to our lives as a whole.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

"I think people judge their own journey and they think that if I'm not able to do it right now, when there is no right or wrong, if I'm not able to do it in that way, then something's wrong with me."

"Healing has the connotation that something's wrong and something needs to be fixed. Whereas remembering is a process of knowing that innately I am perfect and beautiful and I was born that way and there was all these things that happened in my journey that covered that up. So it's a process of allowing the clouds to clear, to see the sun."

"We are brainwashed to think that...my life happens to me and I don't have any part of this."

Connect with Carrie

Summary

Exploring Love Beyond Boundaries: Honesty, Freedom, and the Future of Relationships. Daniella is rewriting love's playbook in a modern world as the founder of the first non-monogamous matchmaking agency. 

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Why it’s so hard seeking partners in the non-monogamy community

• How matchmaking emphasizes efficiency, with upfront questions to avoid wasting time on incompatible matches that your dating apps don’t screen out

• The concept of consensual non-monogamy and the importance of self-honesty and open communication in navigating non-monogamous relationships.

• What advice Daniella gives her clients, especially women, about not settling and prioritizing their desires and goals

• How different types of non-monogamous relationships affect the matchmaking process

• Non-monogamy matchmaking success stories with Velvet Ties

Daniella Guimaraes, based in NYC and Miami, is a pioneering non-monogamous matchmaker dedicated to fostering honest connections. With a fervent belief in the healing power of open communication and unwavering authenticity, she champions personal freedom in every relationship she crafts. Join her as she delves deep into the nuances of modern love and the transformative power of genuine connections.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

"If dating apps wanted to help you find a life partner would put these things as filters. Right. Do you want a baby? How soon do you want a baby? Like they, they would add these filters."

"If you think about it, more people are identifying as part of the non monogamous community compared to some under the queer umbrella, but we're not really giving them a space to talk about it. We tend to shame things that don't feel comfortable to us, and so there's a lot of judgment and not a lot of understanding when it comes to non monogamy."

Connect with Daniella from Velvet Ties

Summary

Alain and Marz are on a mission to create the most exquisite and transformative experience on the planet with you at the Top Floor Club. With guiding principles such as immersion, authenticity, generosity, character, and equality, they’ve been deemed the most exclusive play party in New York.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• The difference between a swingers party and play party

• How Top Floor Club became the most exclusive play party in New York

• All the things you need to know before your first play party

• How Top Floor takes the time to educate newcomers of the event about how to properly handle equipment for those interested in experimenting with BDSM or Kink

• How to properly give [and withdraw] enthusiastic consent at a play party

• Safer sex practices and rules to follow when engaging with one or more partners at a party

• How self doubt may be a signal of the fawning response during a situation where it may be hard for someone to withdraw consent out of fear of rejecting someone

• How the difference between politeness and kindness can help you understand if your needs are being met

• How play parties can encourage diversity on multiple levels to provide an equitable experience for all humans attending

Alain and Marz are part of the team that runs Top Floor club in New York. It’s not just a party for sexual self-expression, it’s a place for connection and transformation. They are an exclusive invite-only private play party to givers of the highest character who will make a strong contribution to the party and community. 

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

"A play party,  especially [at] Top Floor, we level that up because it's about connection. It's about freedom, it's about trying out whatever you want. It's about individual journeys through the night.”

“One of the factors I consider a successful [night at Top Floor], one of the measures is when people come to me afterwards and say ‘I had a life changing experience’ and that happens pretty much every party.”

“One of the things that differentiates our party, I think from almost all play parties, is we do not ever have performances. We never separate anyone from audience to performer because that isn't great for the vibe. Everyone's a performer, everyone's participating.”

Connect with Alain and Marz from Top Floor Club

Summary

Jess is passionate about helping others in taking steps to design and embrace their relationship(S) dreams! She shares her knowledge and personal stories through the lens of a trained clinician, in hopes that others can reach relationship success.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• How grief can show up as part of your CNM journey

• How couples can navigate differences in their desires for non-monogamy when one partner is more interested than the other

• How starting the opening up conversation with your "why" rather than "what" will lead you to better understanding

• What steps can a newbie take after having the initial conversation with their partner about non-monogamy

• How couples can address disagreements or differing opinions when it comes to setting boundaries

Jess is a licensed therapist, clinical social worker, and ethical non-monogamy relationship coach. After opening her previously monogamous relationship of six years, Jess quickly learned just how little information there was out there from professionals on how to navigate non-monogamy.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

"Humans evolve and change, and we don't want them to be stagnant because that would be hella boring."

“Don't start engaging with people talking with people putting it out there that you're until you've at least had that initial relationship agreement and boundary conversation because it's just, it's just not gonna go well.”

Connect with Jess

Summary

Dr. Emy Tafelski, an integrative soul coach, specializes in helping women cope with significant loss. She shares her personal experience of losing her mother and discusses the process of healing and rediscovering oneself after such a loss.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Dr. Tafelski’s concept of the "soul as a tapestry" and its role in the healing process.

• The importance of allowing space for grief and emotions while engaging in grounding activities like connecting with nature.

• How long the self-exploration process takes.

• Dr. Tafelski’s four-phase process for personal growth and self-discovery, which can be done individually or in a group setting.

Dr. Emy Tafelski is a licensed therapist turned integrative soul coach who helps women who have suffered an untethering loss reweave their souls into wholeness. Her work stems directly from her own healing journey following the loss of her mom which left her shattered and untethered. It is her mission to revolutionize how women transform after loss so that they can release what holds them back and reclaim their power. She believes that when women fully tend to their wounds (including those that come from the culture around them) and align with wholeness they are absolutely unstoppable. She offers transformative group and 1:1 Soul Weaving services.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

“There's a piece, particularly for women I think.  You know, I speak of untethered loss. I think women in general are sort of raised to anchor or tether to things outside of ourselves: whether it's a partner or Children or whatever. But I think that is one of the reasons why this works so important, right? Because when we experience something that untethers us and we lose that external tether, it gives us an opportunity to re-anchor and do it internally, which is a much more solid, a more permanent sense of self.”

“Like attune... where we first create space for all of the feelings that we have because our culture does not make space for grief in the accompanying feelings.”

Connect with Emy

Summary

Terrie is a coach in nonviolent communication, which focuses on observations, feelings, needs, and making requests instead of blame. She emphasizes the importance of collaboration, meeting the needs of both partners, and structured apologies. 

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• The pivotal role of empathy in resolving conflicts and nurturing emotional safety.

• The importance of collaborative problem-solving and meeting the needs of both partners.

• Structured apologies: a game-changer in conflict resolution.

• How to explore what your own needs are not being met in a conflict

Dr. Terrie Lewine’s work is based in Nonviolent Communication. She’s found it to be the deepest self- awareness work out there while simultaneously offers the simplest yet most comprehensive set of skills to help you create relationships of your dreams. Mixing NVC with evolutionary psychology and a deep understanding of biochemistry, neurobiology and somatics, Terrie guides people in navigating conflict, resentments or resignation with ease.

Resources from this episode

Summary

Stephanie shares her knowledge on the use of psychedelics, specifically Ketamine-assisted therapy to treat mental health concerns and how it may be useful in couples therapy. 

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• How Ketamine in therapy can treat depression and other mental health conditions.

• What a typical Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) session can look like

• The potential benefits of KAP and how long it takes to see results

• Who is eligible for KAP

• How someone can start treatment with KAP

Stephanie Hansen, LMFT is based in San Diego, CA and specializes in working with addictions, eating disorders, anxiety, and relationship issues. Her therapeutic approach is holistic, client-centered, and strengths-based, encouraging personal growth, transformation, and empowerment. She emphasizes the mind-body connection and the therapeutic relationship with her clients. Stephanie is currently accepting new individual and couples clients for traditional talk therapy as well as Ketamine-assisted therapy (KAP).

Resources from this episode

Summary

Alo Johnston discusses his journey to becoming a therapist and author of the book, Am I Trans Enough? The book was born out of thousands of hours of research and conversations with hundreds of trans people.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• How you can ease into a transitioning to decide if that’s the path for you

• The advice Alo wished he had going through his own transition

• What questions to ask when questioning your gender

• Am I Trans Enough? digs deep into internalized transphobia and the historical narratives that fuel it

Alo Johnston (he/him) is a marriage and family therapist and author of Am I Trans Enough?: How to Overcome Your Doubts and Find Your Authentic Self. He particularly loves working with trans, queer, and non-monogamous clients. He is based in Los Angeles and when he’s not working he’s often busy exploring the restorative power of naps.

Resources from this episode

Summary

Irena helps people overcome toxic relationship patterns from their childhood so they can master love in adult relationships. 

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• What it’s like growing up in an emotionally abusive environment.

• Why it’s important to recognize red flags in relationships and discover what changes you need to make for a healthy relationship.

• Re-parenting, healing the inner child, and identifying and challenging self-limiting beliefs and unhealthy attachment styles. 

• The challenges of online dating and their experience with consensual non-monogamy. 

Irena was born and raised in Ukraine. After moving to USA in 2001 in search of better life and getting married at 23, her envisioned happily ever after crumbled very quickly. Growing up in an environment where all her emotions had to be suppressed, feeling unloved and abandoned, she only learned how to be ready for a fight, how to blame others and how to look for external validation desperately trying to feel worthy. 

After trying out various types of relationships, monogamy & polyamory, after having my two children, and living in different countries,she realized that she was the common denominator in all her unsuccessful attempts at relationships. She had to make changes. And she did. It was a long and painful process, but it was worth it. Now, being back in USA, she is dedicated to help others to acquire crucial skills for forming and sustaining healthy relationships.

Resources from this episode

Summary

Adam discusses how extreme sports have influenced his perspective on non-monogamy and how facing challenges such as jealousy and self-worth issues have led to personal growth.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Adam's experiences with jealousy and imposter syndrome in a non-monogamous relationship, emphasizing the importance of autonomy and choice in exploring different sexual experiences. 

• Adam making the connection between his fears in extreme sports and emotional challenges, emphasizing the importance of managing fear in ENM relationships.

• Adam’s experience dealing with stigma and judgment from people who didn’t understand his chosen path for non-monogamy

Adam has been an adventure seeker his whole life. Climbing some of the world's steepest mountains, snowboarding epic backcountry mountain terrain, and BASE jumping off of objects and cliffs. Seeking the risk rather than the reward has been his guiding mantra and life philosophy, and it's what drew him into the world of non-monogamy at the age of 40. As Adam likes to say, he strives to get comfortable being uncomfortable because that's where his real living begins. But non-monogamy ended up being the ultimate test of his commitment to that philosophy.

Resources from this episode

Summary

Ilaria shares her own experience with toxic relationships and emphasizes the importance of inner child healing and self-awareness in overcoming codependency.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• All about people-pleasing and doing the necessary work to heal

• What trauma bonding is

• How you can listen to emotions and use triggers as opportunities for growth. 

• Why it’s important to set boundaries, calm your nervous system, and seek support. 

Ilaria Petrucci is a qualified Fitness and Trauma-informed Coach who specializes in helping women overcome emotional eating and achieve their fitness goals without falling back into old habits.

Having struggled with emotional eating for years, Ilaria perfectly understands the frustration and root causes of these cycles and is so passionate to help women break FREE from this, build deep confidence, achieve their fitness goals and finally feel good in their skin.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:

“Inner child healing is very simply just reconnecting with your emotions to be with your emotions rather than engaging in behavior such as fixing someone else or rescuing a situation that we people-pleasers do. Or overeating or over drinking or overspending like any of this outside behavior that helps us escape ourselves.”

“But one of the most important things is that emotions want to move. So whenever you feel like you have a strong emotional reaction and your nervous system is activated, just move around."

Connect with Ilaria Petrucci

Summary

Pamela Duff shares insights on how she’s helped clients through navigating consensual non-monogamy with choice theory and existentialism. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The benefits of opening your relationship

• How to communicate difficult feelings and addressing challenges like people-pleasing behavior

• What makes an open relationship healthy vs. toxic?

• What happens when one person wants to open up and the other wants to stay monogamous?

• How to create shared meaning and personal growth when opening your relationship

Pamela Duff is a Registered Mental Health Counseling Intern with the State of Florida. She provides both individual and couples counseling sessions for people engaging (or thinking about engaging!) in consensual non-monogamy. 

Resources from this episode

Summary

TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode Paige Bond interviews LaToya Bond, a podcast host focused on suicide prevention. 

LaToya shares her story and discusses her podcast, Speaking of Love, which aims to remove the stigma around suicide and educate others. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Risk factors and warning signs of suicide

• The importance of compassionate listening and how to seek help. 

• The responsibility as a caring bystander 

• What to do after a hospital stay from a suicide attempt.

La Toya Bond is a legal professional, entrepreneur, suicide preventionist, and interventionist. She is also the host of a weekend podcast show called, “Speaking Of Love”. La Toya created this podcast as a platform for spreading love in honor of her dad who died by suicide in 2020. For reasons unknown, her dad murdered his wife moments before taking his own life. In an effort to raise mental health awareness and suicide prevention, La Toya has dedicated her life to helping individuals like her dad who are struggling with the affects of mental health challenges; which often leads to suicide.

Resources from this episode

Get the keys to a fulfilling sex life through your own sexual power and the release of shame for deep intimate connection.

Alara Sage works with ambitious, female leaders and professionals who are highly successful but feel unfulfilled and lonely in love, life, and relationships.

She helps them reawaken their sexual power as a woman so that they can magnetize deep intimate connection, pleasure, and wealth…without sacrifice.

Alara Sage is an intuitively gifted mentor, teacher, and healer who coaches provocatively and soulfully. She has over 15 years of experience helping others reignite and transform their own lives.

Main points from the show:

• Connecting with oneself, listening to the body, and being vulnerable can lead you to fulfillment
• How societal programming and childhood experiences has set you up for self-doubt
• Releasing limiting beliefs and reconnecting with one's true self
• Three-step process: releasing, embodiment, and activation through voice
• Finding pleasure in uncomfortable situations and embracing pleasure in life

Stay in touch with Alara:

Let's talk about societal norms around sexuality and how they impact your journey of self-discovery. It's a wild ride!

Karine Bedard is The Sex Positive Relationship Designer and host of Breaking Free Authentically: The Sex Positive Relationship Podcast. Her mission is to help people Break Free from the Societal and Religious boxes that we have been programmed into that keep us from the ability to live Sexually Authentic lives. She is normalizing Ethical Non-Monogamy (open relationships) as an equally beautiful option to Monogamy so that people realize that they have Choices about what kind of relationships they can design for themselves.

She learned, in a very painful way, that not honouring your authenticity and truly loving yourself is destructive to your mental health and all of the other connections in your life. It is not selfish, it is necessary! She wants to help you transform and design the life and relationship of your dreams.

Main points from the show:

• Self-discovery and meeting one's own needs are crucial, but it can create pressure on a partner.
• Sex positivity has a positive impact, enabling consensual and open relationships.
• Discussion about growing up in a conservative religious environment and conforming to societal and religious expectations regarding sexuality and monogamy.
• Exploring your own ideal relationship, wherever that lies on the spectrum.
  

Stay in touch with Karine:

Shutting down parts of yourself disconnects your from relationships. Learn how healing religious trauma can strengthen your bonds.

Catherine Quiring helps exvangelicals learn to trust their desires and reconnect to their inner wisdom.  She also helps people-pleasers learn to trust themselves and recenter themselves at the helm of their lives.  Catherine loves this life-changing work of therapy and healing and feels so privileged that she gets to spend her days doing this.

Main points from the show:

Catherine discusses the obstacles that hinder self-trust and reconnecting with our inner selves. They highlight three main teachings from growing up in evangelical circles: distrust of our bodies, negative view of desires, and prioritizing trust in God over ourselves.

Learn how to heal through embodied practices and movement meditations.

We also chat about the negative impact of self-doubt and mistrust of personal desires in a Christian environment, as well as the weaponization of scripture.

Shifting the script to trusting desires, embracing pleasure, and finding a balance between religious practices and personal enjoyment can be the light at the end of the tunnel.

Stay in touch with Catherine:

How can knowing your personality type build a lasting connection?

Natalia Hernandez is a Certified Enneagram + Relationship Coach. After years of living in victimhood and a string of failed relationships in her intimate relationships, Natalia knows what it takes to have a strong, fun, 5-star marriage. She now shares her experience and expertise with others.

Main Points from the Show: 

Natalia Hernandez discusses the importance of understanding personality types and its significance in relationships. She shares three pillars to promote happy relationships. The enneagram personality assessment is explored, and the importance of not assuming the first result is emphasized.

Navigating Childlessness and Building a Meaningful Life

Carrie empowers childless not by choice women, who are experiencing grief, fear, and uncertainty, design a life that is meaningful, purposeful, and fun. Carrie is based in Colorado and enjoys spending time with her Great Dane, Gavin.

Main Points from the Show: 

Therapist and Certified Life Coach Carrie Brauninger discusses how childlessness can cause grief and strain personal relationships. They acknowledge different circumstances that can cause childlessness and society's expectation that women should be mothers. Tips are offered for ways to cope with grief over not having children, including constructing a meaningful life and finding new friendships within the childless community, and navigating changing relationships.

Get off your phone and get ON with your life!

Kyle Leishman is a Life and Health Coach for people to get help with what ever problems they need to overcome.

Main Points from the Show: 

Kyle created a program to help people overcome smartphone addiction. He shares his personal story and explains his coaching methodology, which involves identifying the costs of phone use and focusing on small changes and mindfulness. The program aims to reduce phone time and move away from using social media as a crutch. Couples are welcome to join the program to improve their relationship. They discuss the obstacles people face and suggest taking small steps towards reducing phone usage, such as not bringing your phone into the bathroom.

Breaking Sexual Taboos: A Journey towards Pleasure, Intimacy, and Equality

Dr. Kristie Overstreet is a clinical sexologist, psychotherapist, host of the Fix Yourself First podcast, and author of Fix Yourself First: 25 Tips to Stop Ruining Your Relationships. Her mission is to help people experience self-change to feel more empowered and connected in their personal and professional relationships. 

Main Points from the Show: 

This episode discussed the importance of the mind in sexual experiences and how societal messages can shape our views. Dr. Overstreet helps women achieve emotional and physical intimacy without sacrificing their needs, stressing the importance of examining past messages and experiences around sex to rewrite the sexual template. She also highlighted the need to challenge negative messages around sexuality, reintegrate sexual touch in couples, and establish ideal times for sex. Communication during sex and being open about desires is important for fulfilling sexual experiences.

Stay in touch with Kristie:

This episode takes you down an imaginative meditation to help you find relief by visualizing a safe or special place. 

For content suggestions or feedback please email me at contact@paigebond.com

Disclaimer: This podcast and communication through our email are not meant to serve as professional advice or therapy. If you are in need of mental health support, you are encouraged to connect with a licensed mental health professional to receive the support needed.

Mental Health Resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis counseling.

Confronting Grief: SHOUTing Out Stigmas, Embracing Healing.

Samantha is a Psychologist, Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Host of The Be Ruthless Show, a podcast dedicated to Making Noise and Breaking Stigmas. She helps people around the world turn their pain into their power by guiding them to be their true selves not who they think they need to be, by embracing their differences and recognizing that their perceived weaknesses are their biggest strengths, and by living life on their own terms.

Main Points from the Show: 

Licensed psychologist Samantha Ruth talks about addressing grief and mental health to remove societal stigmas. She emphasizes the need to grieve in one's way, keeping the memory of loved ones alive through conversation and celebration. Having a support system through the grieving process is essential, and she shares a five-step system called SHOUT to deal with grief. Ruth suggests using a community called Grief Hab for support and that breathing can also be a tool for confronting difficult emotions.

Unlocking the Power of ADHD Coaching: From Procrastination to Productivity Kamden worked as an educator in a variety of capacities for over ten years. She has always felt the most fulfilled helping others realize their true potential. Years after her daughter was diagnosed, Kamden received her own ADHD diagnosis at 36 years old and quickly began advocating and researching to learn how to build her new amazing life as an ADHDer.  Kamden developed TheADHDirectory after feeling the overwhelm of accessing ADHD information on the internet. This service is a one time 1:1 consultation service to help ADHDers (adults and minors) connect with personal and tailored resources including coaches, podcasts, books, and subscriptions that will help direct them to their ADHD home. 

Transform Your Health, Transform Your Relationships: Exploring the Psychology Behind Starting a Health Journey

Esther Avant is a health industry veteran with over 17 years of experience in fitness, nutrition, and wellness related roles. She is a certified sports nutritionist, personal trainer, wellness coach, and owner of EA Coaching, which has provided holistic health & lifestyle coaching since 2015.

Her mission is to help women live their happiest, healthiest, and most confident lives and to change the fact that the majority of women are so preoccupied with their weight and bodies that they never fully pursue their passions. She knows that if more women prioritized their health, they’d be able to unleash the confidence and focus they all need to leave their mark on the world

Esther is also a boy mom and Navy wife who has lived and traveled all over the world while running her EA Coaching.

Main Points from the Show: We dive into what it's like starting a health journey, including the science behind motivation and taking action, the impact of starting a health journey on relationships, effective communication about feelings that may arise, and building a network of supportive relationships. Esther emphasizes the importance of focusing on what's within your control, setting achievable goals, and developing the belief that you have control over your future.

Why does it matter so much to others how many partner's someone has?
Rachael Purtell has a PhD that focuses on consensual non-monogamy (CNM) stigma and research, monogamy and sexism/patriarchy, bi/pansexual erasure. Rachael also sees teaching as a form of activism and believes it can be transformative and that her critical reflection of her positionality as a white, cisgender woman—who continues to benefit from whiteness both inside and outside the academy—has helped her to leverage her privilege to challenge the pervasive dominant ideologies and discursive forms of violence within academia and organizations.

Main points from the show:
In this podcast episode, we delve into the world of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and its intersection with LGBTQIA+ communities. We talk about the statistics around CNM and discuss the lack of education and knowledge surrounding this topic, even among professionals in the field of sexuality and sexual orientation. Rachael noted the communication styles in CNM relationships and how jealousy is not only an issue in CNM dynamics but in other relationship dynamics as well. We discuss the stigma and barriers to healthcare for CNM communities and the lack of legal protections for marginalized communities. There is an intersection of monogamy and patriarchy and Rachael speaks to the disadvantages that women face in monogamous relationships. 

It's time to burn diet culture to the ground! 

Jemma Haythorne is a Body Image & Food Freedom Coach who works from the non-diet approach, and will help you transform your relationship with food and your body, so that your life can be full of fun and pleasure again. Jemma believes in a weight-inclusive, Health at Every Size approach that helps you to achieve your goals from a place of self-love, respect and a positive mindset. Health doesn’t have to be hard!

Main points from the show:

Jemma shares what intuitive eating is and how it's coming back to what our body is asking for. She warns how restricting foods can lead to unhealthy eating habits, so giving yourself the freedom to eat what you want takes the power away from food. 

She notes that body image comes down to mindset, not about what you look like and affirmations alone improve your body image. The mirror exercise that she teaches can help you change the way you view yourself and help you realize that body acceptance can be more achievable than body positivity.

We talked about weight and how praising a partner for losing weight can do more hurt than good. Instead, try praising the actions your partner is taking on their health journey instead. She shared how to respond to people commenting on your weight. 

Lastly, we discussed how body image and working on a health journey impacts your sex life. She also shared how to feel more safe and confident in yourself about being intimate.

Kyira Wackett is a licensed mental health therapist specializing in shame and anxiety. She is the owner of Adversity Rising, a company that equips people with the confidence and skills to write their own stories. The highlight of her work is her signature program, That Life AR, where she walks people through her 5-step therapeutic process she believes can combat any pain point that comes our way because we all deserve to live a life in which we can thrive.

Main points from the show:

Kyira explained what shame is and why it shows up. She shared examples of how shame shows up in how we communicate with our partners and the impact it makes. Kyira and I talked about the three responses that come about when shame starts creeping in and how to communicate when feeling really stressed out and in a shame spiral. She notes that setting assertive boundaries sets the stage to have more connection with your partner. 

Stay in touch with Kyira:

Tired of self-doubt and always questioning yourself? We have the answer.

Catherine Quiring helps exvangelicals learn to trust their desires and reconnect to their inner wisdom.  She also helps people-pleasers learn to trust themselves and recenter themselves at the helm of their lives.  Catherine loves this life-changing work of therapy and healing and feels so privileged that she gets to spend her days doing this.

Main points from the show:

Catherine's signature process for learning how to trust yourself which was made to heal the top-down approach of the evangelical framework that teaches you to be suspicious of anything arising from your own inner knowing. And you've become disconnected from yourself. Catherine shares the three steps from her trust yourself masterclass to help you find your inner compass.

We also talk about where distrust of self comes from and do an exercise to help listeners recognize when something feels "right" or not to help them trust themselves. 

Stay in touch with Catherine:

How do you ever recover from your partner betraying you? This episode will cover the process!

Jasmine Rice is a Certified Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, and best selling author with a degree in psychology from the University of Kansas. After overcoming a series of challenging life transitions including a divorce and a job loss, Jasmine transformed herself to go from surviving to THRIVING by shifting her mindset. She expresses that there is no one-size-fits all approach to self-improvement, self-care, personal growth and transformation. You get to create your own recipe!

Main points from the show:

• How to know when it's time to end your marriage
• Importance of working on yourself after a marriage ends
• How to feel better about being alone
• How to release anger
• Stages of divorce
• How to tell friends and family about divorce
• Dating after divorce

Links mentioned in the show:

Tracey Osborne is the founder of the Global Association For Trauma Recovery, a nonprofit dedicated to helping survivors get the healing they need. She is the creator of The Reality Of It All, a blog and podcast that brings to light the realities of life and being a woman with candid conversations about hard to broach topics. She is the host of the podcast, Releasing Trauma; A Survivor’s Podcast. 

Tracey is also a volunteer Court Appointed Special Advocate™ for children. 

Main points from the show: 

Trauma Recovery Coaching is done post-therapy from the survivor to thriver mindset 

How to know if your relationship is toxic 

When to know it’s time to end a relationship 

Creating a plan of how to get out of an abusive relationship safely 

How to handle toxic friendships and protect your energy 

Links mentioned in the show: 

Pet Death Doula (end of life transition) 

Contact Tracey:  Phone: 678-509-4387 Email: tracey@abouttracey.com https://abouttracey.com/ 

Paige Bond is the host of the Stubborn Love podcast, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and the Creator of the Jealousy to Joy Journey. Her mission is to help people-pleasing millennials navigate non-monogamy so they can tame their jealousy and love with ease.

This episode focuses on asking for what you want in your relationship using mindset shifting

Main points from the show:

• Breaking negative relationship patterns to become more conscious about shifting our behavior
• Safety vs. discomfort and needs vs. wants.
• Discomfort promotes growth.
• How do we manage discomfort from someone else’s boundary? (Spoiler - you may not get what you want)
• What are the non-negotiables in your relationship?
• The benefits of making specific requests
• “Shame corrodes the very part of us that thinks that we’re capable of change,” -Brene Brown

Links mentioned in the show:

In this episode we cover topics of grief like:

1. How to get through your first holiday without a loved one

2. How to handle the anniversary or birthday after losing a loved one

3. How to know when you’re ready to date again after losing your spouse

…And more.

Arletha Orr is an American author from a small town in Mississippi. Orr initially started working a corporate job until exasperated by it and she eventually ventured into full time entrepreneurship until she realized that destiny had other plans for her.

It was only when her world collapsed around her, after a fatal evening that Arletha discovered her true calling in life. She knew that God had a greater purpose for her and with Him by her side, Orr began her journey to shine a light for the people whose lives had been consumed by the darkness around them.

With her passion and vigor, she hopes to selflessly serve others and save souls for God's Kingdom. Orr is an Author and Publisher. She's also a Certified Life Coach who has answered the call of God on her life to inspire and encourage those around her. Get in Touch with Arletha Orr

In this episode we cover three tips to improve your relationship:

1. Create good relationship habits 

2. Have a way to work through problems

3. Have to have ways of cleaning up messes in the relationship

Get in Touch with Cheri

In this interview I find out how Alison helps women understand their human design — their unique life map — so they can get clear on what they want

out of life and develop the confidence to follow the path that’s right for them.

Being healthy, thriving and loving life isn’t supposed to be difficult. We talk about how each and every one of us - including you - especially YOU - have natural talents and gifts that are meant to be used to live your most fulfilling and abundant life and shared with the world in a way only you can.

Stay in touch with Alison

Steven's job is to come in as the financial expert during a divorce process. Divorce can be an emotionally painful, time consuming, and very expensive experience if not approached the correct way. A Certified Financial Divorce Analyst (CFDA) helps settle finances and give clients peace of mind with the stress that comes with divorce. 

Show Summary:

• Lawyers know the law, CFDAs are financial experts.
• His passion for his clients came from his own parents’ tumultuous divorce that involved finances
• Being selfish means you are taking care of YOU and protecting yourself

Get in contact with Steven Bryant