Sum On Sleeve Podcast

Becky Choi (Tummy Warrior™️) “Follow your heart and have a big vision.” Becky Choi is a Certified Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist, and the founder of Tummy Warrior diastasis recti coaching program. Becky is a mom of 2 little ones with a passion for diastasis recti (DR) as she experienced severe DR twice. She helps moms heal their diastasis recti, strengthen their core and improve their health and fitness. She has been featured on Toronto Sun, CTV, Yahoo Finance and Amazon Kindle. Becky is the author of Diastasis Recti Secrets for New Moms: Proven Methods and Postpartum Exercises for Healing Core Weakness and Weight loss. Here’s what Becky had to say: “The biggest challenge, in the beginning, was that I just didn’t know what I really needed to do. I had to figure everything out by myself, know that it will work out and have faith and belief that it will work out for me. At the time, I only had 100 people following me but everyone starts like that in the beginning. It was hard to grow my social following and juggle my business as a mom. I had to take care of my baby, learn how to run my business and keep working on my fitness recovery journey. How was I going to divide my time to do all these things? The mindset is very important to your success. You have to think about your vision, destination and what you really want. Don’t aim for something small because it you aim too small, it will take the same amount of effort to reach something big. You might as well as have a big vision because it will pull you and give you enough motivation to keep working on this. You have to have passion for what you do. If you don’t have passion for what you teach or create and you’re just trying to make money as a goal…it will be very difficult for you to sustain. You might as well get a part-time job. You have to find something you love and you really think it will be impactful for other people and change their lives. Follow your heart and have a big vision and believe! Right now, all the dots are all over the place but it will straighten out as you walk through these trenches. You will connect these dots in the future. It might be messy but have faith and do lots of mindset work.”

In this episode, Authentic Energy founder and Body Confidence Coach Jing Fang and I have an open and honest conversation about how our culture affected how we view our bodies. We dive deep into our postpartum journeys and how challenging it was to see our bodies change after pregnancy. We compare East Asian media with Western media and how each has a different lens of body image.  We share stories about how our family influenced the way we want to portray ourselves and the shame and honour expectations. Join us for a heartfelt, casual and inspiring conversation that will help you realize how much our environment affects our body confidence. Connect with Jing: ♥ INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/AuthenticEnergy ♥ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/AuthenticEnergy ♥ FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/bodyconfidencebuilders ♥ WEBSITE: https://www.authenticenergy.co

After our wedding, I started wearing both my wedding band and the engagement ring. It felt very official like I’m a married woman now. Every morning, like clockwork, I would pop them on my finger before heading for work. I would be typing an email and then I’d look down at my hands and be in awe of my new status. For years I wore them whenever I went out. I kept wearing them throughout both my pregnancies. But then the pandemic hit and I stopped. Full Transcript: https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/09/how-the-pandemic-made-me-stop-wearing-my-wedding-ring-3-minute-read.html

As I entered relationships and became sexually active, I would keep a tally of my partner’s good and bad behaviours. For instance, if my partner did something that made me happy, I would be more inclined to have sex because I felt he deserved it. And if he did something that upset me, I would be less inclined because I felt he didn’t deserve it. Sex became a reward and withholding it became a punishment, creating a power imbalance in the relationship. Unknowingly, I was objectifying my body by using sex as a weapon to get what I want. This continued throughout my relationships and into my marriage. “He’s been good all week so I guess we’ll do it.” But then something interesting happened that changed the way I viewed sex. Full Transcript: https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/08/how-i-stopped-using-sex-as-a-weapon-when-we-started-trying-for-a-baby-5-minute-read.html

As I finished school and became a young adult, I noticed many non-Asian peers go on self-discovery journeys. From travelling the world, exposing themselves to different cultures, jumping from job to job, attending personal development seminars, getting (and becoming) life coaches to reading self-improvement books, they were working on themselves to define who they are. Their value for personal identity put them in pursuit of purpose and meaning while mine led me down a path of further education and a stable job with a healthy pension. I couldn’t relate. I was told who I was since the day I was born. I didn’t need to find myself. What I struggled with was finding who I wanted to be. The self-improvement work I needed to do was to create a balance between the collectivist instincts instilled through my upbringing and the individualistic urges influenced by my environment. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. But the traits of each culture conflicted with one another and pulled my identity apart. When I became a mother, it challenged me to take a stance. Now that I’m in my parents’ position…what do I want to preserve for the next generation? What values, beliefs and priorities do I want to instill in my kids? How certain am I that who I am is who I want to be? Full Transcript: https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/08/as-an-asian-woman-self-work-means-creating-balance-between-collectivistic-instincts-and-individualistic-urges-7-minute-read.html

I turned 36 earlier this year. It was a simple celebration with my husband, our kids and a very decadent chocolate cake from Whole Foods. It was perfect. As I made my wish and blew out the single, pink candle, I realized my life had changed quite a bit in the past 5 years. I no longer try to impress people I didn’t care about. I declined events I know I won’t enjoy. Lastly, I stopped spending money on things that didn’t matter to me like new clothes, make-up, heels and drinks. Instead, with the busyness of motherhood, I’ve started investing more time and effort in cultivating deeper relationships with loved ones. I re-discovered my old hobbies and pastimes like writing, baking and shooting hoops. Lastly, I started spending more money on things I never thought I would. Growing up was about feeling comfortable in my skin. Getting older is about living a life of meaning. Full Transcript here: https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/08/5-things-i-started-spending-more-money-on-when-i-hit-my-30s-3-minute-read.html

One of the toughest and daunting parts of being a freelance writer is finding work. As an introvert with a touch of social awkwardness, asking people to hire me isn’t exactly my forte. However, I’m 3 months into my freelance writing journey and so far, getting clients hasn’t been too much of a headache. Here’s how I landed my first clients without getting too far outside my comfort zone. Full Transcript here

I turned 35 this year and as I reflect on all those years of adulthood, I realized how much money I frivolously spent on things I didn’t care about. Maybe if I didn’t spend that, I would be a millionaire by now? You know, if I had taken every penny I earned from my part-time job in high school and invested it into Google in 2004 (the year I turned 18 and when it IPO’ed), I would be laughing right now. However, it doesn’t mean I regret spending that money because my 20’s were a time of discovery and experimentation; succumbing to social pressures and trying to prove myself for external validation were parts of being a young adult. As I grew up, my lifestyle just naturally shifted and I became more true to myself. My spending reflected that transition. Here are 5 things I’ve stopped spending a lot of money on when I hit my 30’s. Full Transcript here

I value getting paid for my work, not for the time I spend at work I have a plan to leave my 9–5 I made a decision earlier this year to start freelancing so that I could leave my 9–5 and focus my time doing what I love. So in the last two months, I’ve been side hustling like there’s no tomorrow. As I continue this adventure, I’ve realized why freelance writing aligns more with who I am, my values, beliefs, lifestyle and priorities than being an employee. Here’s why. Full Transcript Here

In my late 20’s, I ended an 8-year long relationship. As part of my healing and recovery, I started digging deep into myself about my toxic habits and behaviours. With less time focused on trying to resuscitate a failing relationship, my mind freed up space to dedicate to myself. I realized how terribly I was treating myself. It’s an ongoing journey but one of the most important insights I discovered about myself is that in order to be happy, I needed to focus my attention on how I was feeling. Eating well and exercising regularly is not about looking good; it’s about feeling good. What I look like is the least of my concerns if I’m not happy. Putting my mindset on the right path allowed me to truly appreciate my body where weight loss isn’t the goal but a by-product of the journey. Here are 5 reasons I exercise and eat well that aren’t related to how I look: Full Transcript here: 

Although I’ve been blogging since 2017, I only officially started my freelance writing journey a little over 2 months ago. I’ve dibbled and dabbled with selling books and courses but the amount of money I was making just wasn’t enough for me to leave my 9–5. But most importantly, it was leading me down a path that didn’t align with my passion for writing. When I made the decision to start freelancing, the first thing I had to do was realistically figure out my rate. Opposing opinions and methods So I Googled “freelance writer rates”. I read every article on the first page of the search results. I mean, who even looks at the second page right? Anyway, I got a slew of opposing opinions and methods. From charging per word, per page, per hour to the type of work, it was confusing for someone who was just starting out but had been working professionally for over 15 years. Do I charge as a newbie? Or as an experienced writer? Or somewhere in between? The range is so wide, it’s almost impossible to choose a rate that I thought was reasonable. Where do I even start? Full Transcript: https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/06/how-i-realistically-figured-out-my-freelance-writing-rate-5-minute-read.html

Two months have flown by After debunking some serious misconceptions about freelance writing, I started my journey with zero expectations. I don’t regret it for a second as the last 2 months have flown by. I am doing this as a side gig in addition to my 9–5. Those additional hours have proved to be more rewarding and more meaningful than the 8 that I spend in the office, zoning out in meetings, writing arduous emails, doing small talk with coworkers and eating my lunch at my desk. I have a firm plan to leave my job so I can pursue this full-time. I’m excited to continue sharing my journey with you, my avid readers, fellow writers and supporters. Full transcript: https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/06/how-i-made-3525-71-in-my-first-two-months-as-a-freelance-writer-5-minute-read.html

Growing up, I struggled to love myself. From social pressures, the media to overly critical family members who constantly compared me to my skinnier peers, I never felt like my body was good enough. I went on my first diet when I was 8 years old. My plan was to skip breakfast, eat half my lunch and only vegetables for dinner. I failed miserably. Then as I entered my teen years, I developed an eating disorder that consisted of dangerously restrictive diets, bingeing and purging and extreme workouts. In my young adult years, it became chasing the latest fad diet and buying anything to lose weight. I hated my body and I didn’t know how to love myself from the inside out. It wasn’t until my late 20’s when I started my recovery journey, completely shifting my mindset and changing how I viewed myself. I stopped yo-yo dieting, emotionally eating, using exercise as punishment whenever I ate a donut and no longer cared about other peoples’ opinions. Looking back, the part that was driving my desperate desire to lose weight was based on a lack of understanding and awareness about body positivity. This concept didn’t exist during my vulnerable years of adolescence. Without being properly informed, I filled in the gaps with toxic beliefs to feel good in my skin. Here are 3 myths about body positivity that I used to believe in. Full Transcript here

I never thought I would be a freelance writer When I first started blogging in 2017, I had no idea where it was going to lead me. I was a new mom who was working her 9–5 and trying to find some balance at home. Writing became my source of reason and means of therapy. Jump forward 3 years later and I’m at home on my second maternity leave, changing my son’s poopy diapers. I knew I was going back to my 9–5 but I also knew I didn’t want to do that forever. I wanted to figure out how to turn this hobby into a dream career. Full Transcript here

After having a fight with my husband in front of our kids, I wasn’t able to do what my daughter wanted me to. I felt like I was repeating my parents’ behaviour but this incident inspires me to keep trying to be a better person. Full Transcript Here

Experiencing new cultures and immersing myself in the day-to-day life of people who grew up in a different environment than me is one of my favourite ways to learn and grow. Travelling helps boost my creativity, practice empathy and broadens my horizons. And when I return home, finishing the adventure allows me to truly appreciate where I live and practice gratitude for the simplest things I have. But would I do it as a way of life? Like the growing number of digital nomads who work and live remotely in faraway lands? Nope. Why? https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/06/why-i-wouldnt-want-to-live-the-digital-nomad-lifestyle-5-minute-read.html

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or on any specific security or investment product. I’m only sharing what worked for me and my opinions. I highly recommended you seek professional advice from someone who is authorized to provide investment advice. I started with $5000 as an experiment to make $100. How I made $3500 trading stocks with no finance background. https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/04/how-i-made-3-590-11-by-trading-stocks-in-2-years-with-no-investing-experience-8-minute-read.html

When I first started blogging, I had no idea who was going to read my stuff. It was a space for me to express myself, put feelings into words and make sense of what was going on for me as a mom. 4 years later, I’ve had distant family members, anonymous strangers, friends of friends, folks I used to go to school with, and old coworkers reach out to me, praising me for what I’ve written. It’s amazing how the power of the Internet and my affinity for words can connect folks across the world from all walks of life. As part of this writing journey, I’ve noticed that most of the folks who have reached out are higher up on the six degrees of separation. Those who are close to me don’t say much and I actually prefer to keep it that way. https://sumonsleeve.com/2021/04/why-i-dont-expect-my-friends-and-family-to-read-what-i-write-4-minute-read.html

Why not both? I wish this meant I could have both soft and hard tacos but instead it’s experiencing both sexism and racism as an Asian woman. It’s like if I’m not being discriminated against for being a woman, then I’m being discriminated against for being an Asian. And if it’s not that, there’s a third category where race and gender come together into a mixed bag of shit, from subtle to blatant, the worst of both worlds. And that needs to die. So here are 9 Asian female stereotypes that need to die:

I used to believe I needed to scrub clean of my past and start fresh every time I stepped into a new relationship. So when I first started dating my husband, I told him I didn’t want to talk about my past relationships. The past is the past right? However, I’ve realized the experience and wisdom I gained from being with my exes have not only helped my marriage but taught me so much about myself. Here are 5 valuable life lessons I learned from my exes.