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Surviving The Covert Narcissist

Surviving The Covert Narcissist

By Anonymous

This is my story. I was in a highly toxic and abusive relationship with a female covert narcissist. This is my journey of where I have been, what steps I have taken, where I am now, and what's next after surviving a narcissist. I hope this podcast to be educational as well as relatable to anyone who is trying to leave their narcissist, those curious of my journey, or those that look to be encouraged to stay away from their ex narcissist. This is a male perspective, although the traits discussed can be translated to both genders. Thank you! Email me at survivingacovertnarcissist@gmail.com
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Identifying Red Flags and More with Trish Valleys

Surviving The Covert NarcissistApr 04, 2021

00:00
38:04
Update: Introducing Children of a Narcissistic Mother to my Partner

Update: Introducing Children of a Narcissistic Mother to my Partner

This episode details the introduction of my children to,my partner to where we are currently at while highlighting some of the struggles we are having dealing with my narcissistic ex spouse.
Oct 21, 202143:02
Update: Inflated Narcissistic Entitlement and Their Army.

Update: Inflated Narcissistic Entitlement and Their Army.

The ongoing moves and now new needs to counter from mistakes I made to agree with my narcissists mother outside of court months back. Now I have to counter in hopes of not losing 25K. Hopefully this episode serves as one more story to reinforce what I knew better. NEVER settle or sign anything outside of court on major decisions.
Oct 15, 202131:02
Men Do Cry: Conversation with author A. Dean

Men Do Cry: Conversation with author A. Dean

I had the opportunity to speak with A. Dean about his experience with gaining custody over his child due to domestic violence and his new book titled "Men Do Cry". Enjoy the episode and here is a link to his book for any of those that would love to read it. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B08R44HS12/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Oct 06, 202159:19
Update: Delays and victories. Dividing the home and keeping boundaries.

Update: Delays and victories. Dividing the home and keeping boundaries.

This episode details the delays and the wrenches thrown at me over the last couple of weeks with the final days of owning the marital home come to an end. How the process is going with dividing up shared items and how I have been sticking to my boundaries with being consistent. Knowing when to bend and what I feel comfortable with. And also the big news that My children have FINALLY met my partner as we prepare to blend our families. The stressors and pressure of that battle is finally coming to a close.
Sep 23, 202136:56
SPECIAL: The Pickup Game With Barnaby and Matthew O'Connell

SPECIAL: The Pickup Game With Barnaby and Matthew O'Connell

I had the pleasure of speaking with an interviewing Barnaby and Matthew O'Connell. They are the filmmakers of a recent film receiving a lot of buzz titled "The Pickup Game". Many of the qualities and characteristics of the people portrayed in this documentary fall in line with some red flags I have discussed on previous episodes of narcissistic personality disorder. This film is thought-provoking and at times emotionally triggering. This episode dives deep into the film and some of the thoughts I had as well as their reasoning behind how/why it was filmed in a certain way, what their thoughts were during the process of dealing with these individuals, and what they are looking to portray with this film. I was surprised to get in touch with them and am very happy we were able to bring this episode to you. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed making it!
Sep 12, 202101:07:05
Support Systems: Conversation with my Sister

Support Systems: Conversation with my Sister

I am so happy to bring my sister to the podcast! Discussing our journey together during my darkest time and her perspective on support and some great advice for those in similar positions. Update at the beginning of the episode for myself and following Matt's updates with his court battles with his ex narc. Lots of information crammed into this episode. Hope you enjoy!
Sep 08, 202101:26:51
Hoovering: I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

Hoovering: I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

The story details some of my experiences of being hoovered multiple times back into a relationship with a narcissist. Some of the warning signs and some of the damaging outcomes the longer you allow it to happen are highlighted on this topic.
Aug 29, 202147:41
Sexual and Psychological abuse of a narcissist (WARNING: Explicit)

Sexual and Psychological abuse of a narcissist (WARNING: Explicit)

This episode is a documentation of some of the psychological manipulations and tactics my ex narcissist employed on my psyche throughout the course of our sex life together. This episode is a little bit more explicit than most as a fair warning. Listen with caution.
Aug 15, 202134:01
Spoiler alert: She fired her lawyer

Spoiler alert: She fired her lawyer

This episode serves as validation and frustration as I am navigating my own emotions, my children's growth and we'll being, attempting to transition, and the road blocks and delays that a narcissist presents. It's a warning for what to expect when attempting to distance and sperate from your toxic narcissistic ex from my current life experiences. I hope it is helpful.
Aug 08, 202150:34
Update episode: Tension building up to court and the rulings.

Update episode: Tension building up to court and the rulings.

There have been a lot of Court sessions up to this point for me but this one was definitely very stressful building up to it. The house is sold there's a lot riding on the decisions in court. The waiting game was pretty tough but I did get some answers that were positive. There are definitely some things to learn if you have still not taken your ex to court. I know you've heard it a million times but document everything! Enjoy!
Jul 14, 202138:13
The Narcissist's Special Day

The Narcissist's Special Day

Whether it be birthdays, holidays, vacations, anniversaries, personal milestone dates, the narcissist has an uncanny ability to ruin them all. This episode is a red flag warning and personal recollections through my own previous experiences. Enjoy!
Jul 07, 202126:47
Matt's story (Part 2)

Matt's story (Part 2)

I spoke with Matt for a continuation of his court battles with his highly toxic ex husband. If you haven't already, I highly recommend listening to part 1 of Matt's story.
Jun 30, 202101:08:38
Ricia's Story

Ricia's Story

I had the opportunity to email back and forth with a woman named Ricia. Her story was eerily similar to mine in many ways. And it seems like no matter how not surprised I am by the moves narcissists make they're always full of surprises simultaneously. I hope you find her story as interesting as I did and helpful in some ways. The more we speak to those that understand what we've gone through, the stronger we become.
Jun 10, 202101:39:25
Court battles, co-parenting, anxiety and more with Trish Valleys

Court battles, co-parenting, anxiety and more with Trish Valleys

This episode is another discussion with Trish Valleys. We discuss our experiences with our battles with the narcissist through the legal system where I'm at in my battle and everything she has endured. We discuss ways to protect ourselves our hindsight in our experiences and what you can do to help protect yourself and your children along with other candid discussions and topics about the feelings through the process of healing while trying to balance our personal lives.
May 26, 202101:26:02
Gaslighting

Gaslighting

11 signs of gaslighting. This is tool a narcissist uses to control, manipulate, and isolate you to the point of questioning your own sanity. Intertwined with some of my own experiences to these points on gaslighting as examples.
May 19, 202144:10
Guilting, shaming, and an update

Guilting, shaming, and an update

This episode is covering some thoughts I have been having lately about the characteristics of guilting and shaming. It is a subtle weapon narcissists will utilize to break you down. It worked on me for years. I also threw in a quick update for those following my story.
May 16, 202136:36
Trish Valleys Co-parenting, hoovering, and candid conversation
May 09, 202151:19
Signs of Covert narcissists and CPTSD symptoms

Signs of Covert narcissists and CPTSD symptoms

This episode details some signs of the covert narc and symptoms of CPTSD stemming from my life experiences and hopefully some words of encouragement you will find along the way.
May 06, 202132:30
Matt's story

Matt's story

I emailed back and forth the man named Matt. He was telling me about his situation with his ex and where he was at now in a very high conflict court battle most of which circling around their children. His story is heartbreaking at times but has been very strong through the whole process and has very solid boundaries for his children and had to go to extreme measures with his ex narcissist. This episode is a little bit longer but I hope you hear his story and his message and that it can help you on your own journey. Thank you!
Apr 27, 202101:37:12
An episode and epiphany

An episode and epiphany

I had an episode of my past traumas. Slight similarities all the different that triggered an emotional outburst. I also had a message that reminded me and gave me different perspectives and feelings and emotions that I was going through and realized how far I have come and how far I still have to go.
Apr 22, 202123:59
Trish Valleys discussion. Children of a narcissistic parent and more.
Apr 14, 202132:40
Update: Divorce update and the control moves a narcissist will still try to play

Update: Divorce update and the control moves a narcissist will still try to play

This episode is a continuation of my current situation on separating from my ex narcissist. This could be helpful for those going through divorce or about to be going through divorcing a narcissist. It could be especially helpful if you have children with a narcissist. Expect the unexpected and be on guard. This is a recollection of the boundaries I have continuously set as she has continuously tried to cross them and I have to keep putting her back on the other side of my boundary. This episode covers a variety of NPD traits. New treasure hunts, guilting, shaming, blame shifting, manipulating myself and the children, financial abuse, gaslighting, control, triangulation, and probably more. I hope my experiences can be useful to you and your journey freeing yourself or continuing your journey of being free.
Apr 12, 202158:41
Identifying Red Flags and More with Trish Valleys

Identifying Red Flags and More with Trish Valleys

This episode is an open discussion of some of the characteristics that help identify the narcissist along with our own personal experiences. We detail some of our similarities in the narcissist and what can help you protect yourself when encountering these individuals.
Apr 04, 202138:04
Trish Valleys' Story

Trish Valleys' Story

This episode details the story of Trish Valleys. She discusses topics of how she found herself in a relationship with a narcissist, having a child with a narcissist, divorcing a narcissist, the lasting effects, the steps she has taken since, and where she is today. I truly hope you take the time to enjoy our chat, as she has a vast amount of information and knowledge you can relate to. Special thanks to Trish Valleys for having the strength to reach out and speak out with me on this episode!
Mar 27, 202101:10:45
Gray Rock Method: Bore your Narcissist

Gray Rock Method: Bore your Narcissist

This episode details some techniques that can be utilized to help you deal with the narcissist in your life you can't fully cut out. Just because you can't fully discard them, doesn't mean you have to be their target. Kill them with your incredibly boring and intentionally uninteresting personality. Time to gear up and take some heat off you and gain some positive self perspectives by putting these practices in to place!
Mar 21, 202139:53
PTSD, CPTST How to find healing from your past toxic narcissist

PTSD, CPTST How to find healing from your past toxic narcissist

This episode details some of my own personal battles and struggles along my journey of healing from a narcissist. Some of the steps I've taken, and some of the advice that I would like to share with those also seeking to heal themselves. You are not alone in your struggles. I hope this message finds you well wherever you may be listening from.
Mar 07, 202148:37
(Part 6) Picking up the pieces after escaping my narcissist.

(Part 6) Picking up the pieces after escaping my narcissist.

This episode is the final segment that will get you up to my current timeline. After I left my narcissist, the abuse did not stop. I did still have my boundaries crossed and was taken advantage of. I have worked hard on building back my life, re-establishing those boundaries, solidifying my support systems, and much more. This is a nutshell version of how I am doing and what I have done to date to fight back since breaking free of my narcissist.
Feb 27, 202101:12:12
Update: second court date and the struggles of coparenting with a narcissist

Update: second court date and the struggles of coparenting with a narcissist

This episode is a description struggles of the past couple of weeks leading up to the latest court date and what the outcome is up to this point.
Feb 24, 202122:01
(Part 5) How I found strength to escape my relationship with my narcissist

(Part 5) How I found strength to escape my relationship with my narcissist

12 years and 2 children later, I had some discoveries about the condition of my partner. The first 4 parts of this story lead up to my final push to free myself from the damaging cycle of abuse. I was no longer a victim. This is my story of how I left my narcissist. It's raw and definitely not Hollywood perfection. I'm sure I could have made a cleaner exit. But it's real. It's my story and how everything unraveled. Next episode will focus on picking up the pieces and the lives of my children that are hanging in the balance. Thank you for listening!
Feb 13, 202157:49
Update: CPTSD symptoms peaking as Custody Agreements unfold

Update: CPTSD symptoms peaking as Custody Agreements unfold

I am having some really strong and unusual reactions to the efforts my NPD ex is utilizing to prolong my ability to be with my children. Visitation and custody agreement (that is only temporary) has now had to be reworked 20 times due to more additions by her or things she is unwilling to compromise on. And last minute additions that kept this week's visitation from materializing. This episode is a little more raw. I have been struggling emotionally from her tactics as they bring up many negative memories of how our fights would go. The longer it lasts, the more you lose. Boundaries are the single most important thing to never break...and this time I won't allow her to break it at any cost.
Jan 30, 202135:47
(Part 4) How I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist

(Part 4) How I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist

This episode outlines another chapter in my journey. From my wedding day, all the way to the my big revelation finally bestowed on me from my support system that I was, in fact, immersed in an abusive relationship with an extremely coveret narcissist. Knowing is one thing, but taking action to break the cycle when married and two kids to your narcissist is two different things. this is when my brain fog was lifted and the hard work truly began.
Jan 24, 202156:38
Update: First day in court under my belt.

Update: First day in court under my belt.

A quick update on my first day in court. Some items that got settled, some that didn't. An answer to now where I have to go from here and continue unraveling my narcissistic ex's claims against me. Hopefully these are useful bits of knowledge for anyone prepping for similar divorce/custody battles.
Jan 21, 202130:07
(Part 3) How I found myself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist.

(Part 3) How I found myself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist.

This is the continuation of my attempted escape from my narcissistic ex and how I found myself proposing to her and convincing myself through years of psychological mistreatment that having a second child with my narcissist was a good idea.
Jan 10, 202152:21
Update: Prepping for court and expecting the unexpected.

Update: Prepping for court and expecting the unexpected.

Update on where life has been post serving my ex narcissist with divorce papers. Some of the new public smear campaign moves she has made for her financial gain. Advice from my experiences up to now for anyone going through similar situations or soon to go through similar court battles. Just know they will fight back and that fight will hit when you least expect it. Expect that unexpected and be ready. *Image from the "ice crystals" my son found as we were hiking this past Friday.
Jan 10, 202122:54
(Part 2) How I found myself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist

(Part 2) How I found myself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist

This is a continuation of my story highlighting some of the abuse experienced along my journey by my narcissistic ex. I am continuing the story from when I traveled across the country to be with her, now I discuss the trials and experiences I had once we welcomed my first son into the world and the couple years thereafter. From my escape attempts to me inevitably returning to becoming more embedded in the narcissists web of abuse. This is part 2 to my story. Enjoy!
Jan 02, 202158:55
Update: She has been served!!

Update: She has been served!!

Quick update on my current situation with my NPD ex, a little background for context, and some advice on what to do if you are leaving/have left your narcissist. Be safe, love yourself, and protect yourself most of all!
Dec 19, 202014:23
How I found myself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist

How I found myself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist

This is a narration of myself documenting the mental archives of my first year with a narcissist and how it took form as she embedded herself in my life. These stories are meant to be heard as a warning for some, relatable for others, or as a sign of recognition you too might have a narcissist in your life. As the story unfolds in future episodes, my hope is that my story is uplifting and that it shows others how to have strength and courage to take back their true self and gain back the power of their own life.
Dec 13, 202051:12
Introduction and NPD 101

Introduction and NPD 101

This is an introduction to myself, Phil, and what are some things that you should be aware of if you think there is a narcissist in your midst.
Dec 12, 202030:18
December 11, 2020

December 11, 2020

Dec 11, 202000:60