From Foster Care to Family Law - A Child Welfare Focus

In a world filled with uncertainty and challenges, one woman's journey into child advocacy and foster care took an unexpected turn that changed her life forever. Her personal revelation ignited a passion that led to a remarkable 13-year relationship with a young man in foster care, setting her on a path of unwavering commitment and compassion. As her story unfolds, the impact she has made on the lives of children in foster care is both inspiring and deeply moving. But what was the unexpected twist that propelled her into this transformative journey?

In this episode, Susan and Joan discuss: 

• Empowering children in foster care through advocacy and support.

• Personal experiences to help understand the foster care journey.

• The impactful role of supportive adults in foster care.

• The importance of legislative advocacy for foster children.

“Every person has the ability to make a difference in somebody's life. It's all acts of kindness and acts of service.” 

- Joan Ulsher

About Joan Ulsher:

Joan Ulsher, a dedicated court-appointed special advocate in Texas, brings a wealth of personal and professional experience to the table. Her journey from a challenging childhood in foster care to a fulfilling career in the military has fueled her passion for ensuring the well-being of children in similar circumstances. In her book, "Misplaced Childhood: A True Story of Resiliency and Child Advocacy," Joan not only shares her own story but also provides insights and guidance on how every individual can make a positive impact in a child's life. Joan's commitment and empathy make her an invaluable voice in advocating for children in foster care, offering a fresh and impactful perspective on the critical issues surrounding child welfare.

SUMMARY:

Susan Chesnutt interviews a long time colleague Dawn Kirk who has been practicing family law for 30 years and mediation for 15 years. As a mediator Dawn’s primary focus is on the children, understanding the family dynamic to find an outcome in the child’s best interest.

HIGHLIGHTS:

[00:02:00] Dawn explains what it takes to become a mediator and the certification process. You do not need to be an attorney to earn your certification

[00:03:15] Susan and Dawn discuss the benefits of having legal experience and the importance of life experience to provide quality mediation

[00:05:00] How does writing a script pertain to mediation?

[00:06:00] Dawn and Susan explain the process of finding a mediator and what those steps look like.

[00:07:15] How long does mediation take? And guess what, it's not an event, it's a product.

[00:09:15] When in the mediation process, Susan and Dawn talk about the benefits of having the two parties separate versus together. Emotions and faces can be triggers for parties involved so what is the best strategy.

[00:11:15] Susan asks Dawn about mediation prep and the importance of the client coming with a wishlist of their priorities. The moral of the story is to come prepared.

[00:15:15] What are some of the barriers when it comes to mediation? What is appropriate and what is not appropriate.

[00:18:00] Dawn talks about the importance of coming to the table being open to the different possibilities available to both parties. She is a big advocate of encouraging the clients to think about other ideas.

[00:20:15] What does a restaurant menu have to do with mediation? Dawn uses the food analogy a lot today to help us understand the process. Get ready to hear her discuss what a temporary agreement can look like

[00:24:00] Dawn discusses getting to a partial agreement between the two parties.

[00:25:15] Susan asks Dawn to discuss the cost of mediation vs the cost of litigating. They discuss the ins and outs to help make an informed decision.

[00:29:00] Dawn and Susan cover what are the trends she is encountering right now. Times change and so does the approach to splitting assets, especially in this current market.

[00:31:00] He said, she said conversations about divorce terms, do they mean anything?

[00:34:15] Before they wrap up, Susan asks Dawn to talk about figuring out alimony and child support, they are 2 very separate things in a divorce agreement.

[00:40:30] Parenting plans. So much information to digest before they finish the podcast. This topic has a lot of details to unpack to create a parenting plan. This section will keep you on the edge of your seat for the next 10 minutes.

[00:52:45] Family traditions and coming to terms with honoring each parent’s perspective on special days and holidays.

QUOTES:

Susan Chesnutt: “It's an opportunity to have a neutral person come in and help you discuss the issues and figure out ways to solve them.”

Dawn Kirk: “And I, I don't think that people realize that your friends, your relatives, your lawn guy, I mean, everybody's affected one way or the other by this.”

Dawn Kirk: “So my role really is to help them write their own script.”

Dawn Kirk: “Forget about money for a minute, what's best for the child.”

RESOURCES:

Susan Chesnutt

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt and her special guest Martin Kofsky talk about his recent article that focuses on the rights of grandparents. Martin has been litigating and working in family law for 30 years. Sit back and settle in for some good information and food for thought.

HIGHLIGHTS:

[00:01:45] The discussion begins with Martin describing his experience with offending and non offending parents and what that means for the rights of the child.

[00:03:00] Martin gives an example of a case where the maternal grandparent’s rights of the child were being threatened. The child was cared for by them for 5 years and then the other grandparents attempt to assert control.

[00:05:15] What happens when a set of grandparents has never tried to have a relationship with the child? What does the law say or not say in these circumstances?

[00:06:15] Susan asks very important questions about the child’s constitutional rights because of the death of a parent and in the care of a grandparent.

[00:08:00] Martin and Susan deep dive on a Florida statute as it relates to when a reunification happens and its narrow minded pitfalls.

[00:17:30] Martin explains the deployment statute and all that it entails to soldiers and sailors who are parents; the phrase “equal protection” comes into play. Tune in for the intriguing perspective.

[00:24:30] Relocation situations are typically never in the child’s best interest. What is the best solution when a former spouse is married to someone in the military and relocation on one side is necessary. You will want to hear more about this topic.

[00:26:45] Martin goes through a tough case that will give you context on what the court needs to show when a parent relocates and the other parent wants the children to stay where they are as the primary residence.

[00:32:45] Susan asks Martin a hypothetical, if he could write a grandparents right statute, what would it entail?

QUOTES:

Martin Kofsky: as it pertains to grandparents rights in Florida “The rights are limited when there is a parent who's deceased. There can be some room for a grandparent to have a relationship with the child, but still this, the rights of the surviving parent remain paramount.”

Martin Kofsky: “It's easy to identify bruises. It's easy to identify cigarette burns. It's easy to identify strap marks from a belt. It's much harder to identify and quantify the emotional scars that might've been caused by, years of emotional or psychological abuse”

Susan Chesnutt: in regard to dependency statute in Florida: “When you said that the statutes were hypocritical, is that the dependency statute on the grandparents rights goes so far to say that the grandparents should be able to show affection and give gifts and letters from the grandparents or other family.”

Susan Chesnutt: “I've read a statistic today that 7% of the children in the United States live with a grandparent or grandparents…To me, that's a big number of kids who are not with their parents, for whatever reason.”

Susan Chesnutt: “This has been fantastic. I will say hands down, totally honest, the best conversation I've had about grandparents' rights since I've been a lawyer.”

RESOURCES:

Susan Chesnutt

Summary: Susan Chesnutt has a heartwarming conversation with Jackie Pilossoph on talking with your children about your divorce. What to say and who to say it to, will help guide you through the tough process. Jackie is an author, former journalist and the creator of Divorce Girls Smiling, a resource for men and women going through the divorce process.

HIGHLIGHTS:

02:49 Susan and Jackie dive into what kids are really afraid of when their parents are getting divorced. They talk about the importance of keeping the divorce attorney from becoming the therapist.

05:06 Change. Children and adults have a hard time with change. For example, if the former spouse gets a girlfriend, things can get dicey.

07:00 How do you shield your kids from all of the hard stuff. Tune in for great tips on those situations.

10:56 What are the kids scared about? What stresses them out going back and forth? Jackie will dive into everyday situations that parents and their children will experience.

13:13 I want to listen to you for as long as you need. Jackie talks about the importance of therapy for your children while going through divorce.

16:13 Susan and Jackie discuss how praying and having faith can help your kids and yourself through this difficult time. Jackie touches on her spiritual faith, not religion to guide one along.

18:20 Self esteem and the importance of “pumping up” your kids while going through the divorce process.

19:30 Getting angry? Whoa, yes. Parent’s and their children will get angry before, during and after the divorce. Jackie talks about some useful tools and the importance of expressing their anger.

22:00 Listen in on how to manage receiving legal advice in real time while your sweet kids are within ear shot. Envision being on the phone and receiving disturbing information about sole custody.

25:29 Susan and Jackie talk about the importance of always putting your kids first, especially when dating. Listen to her reaction after reading an article from a guy dating divorced women with children.

28:40 Reassuring your children they were the best decision you ever made is very important. Jackie and Susan talk about how speaking negatively about the other parent affects your children.

31:30 Susan asks Jackie about how her website Divorced Woman Smiling came about and how isolating divorce was for her. This was before social media and texting were a big way of communication. This site is for men too! The session wraps up discussing the many resources Jackie has now, at your fingertips!

QUOTES:

Jackie Pilossoph: “Number one was there's going to be lots of changes, but here is what is, isn't going to change my love for you. Dad's love for you. Both of those things are constant and are everlasting.”

Jackie Pilossoph: “ I want to listen to you for as long as you need. That's another thing you can say to your child.”

Susan Chesnutt: “And I don't know when we started asking our kids for permission on our adult decisions, that's not what we're supposed to do, where the adult.”

Jackie Pilossoph: “if two people don't respect that the kids come first, then it's never going to work.”

Susan Chesnutt: “when you say something negative about the other parent, you're telling your child something negative about themselves because they are half of that person.”

RESOURCES

Susan Chesnutt:

https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com

Jackie Pilossoph

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt and Dr. Alan Blotcky tackle the topic of parental alienation which are behaviors, tactics or strategies that one parent will use to undermine the child's relationship with the other parent. 

HIGHLIGHTS: 

[00:01:00] Susan introduces Dr. Alan Blotcky who is a clinical and forensic psychologist, a freelance journalist published in USA today, Psychology Today in many other places. He's also an associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Alabama. 

[00:05:00] Dr. Blotcky discusses the difference between legitimate alienation vs “strange moments” when a child does not want to be with the other parent. 

[00:08:30] Susan and Alan identify how to determine if the parent is intentionally or unintentionally using alienating behaviors, there are typically multiple things taking place to promote the alienation. 

[00:15:30] Alan explains the importance of identifying which is the alienating parent and the next steps that need to take place. He and Susan talk about the Judge’s role and level of education in this area so attorney’s understand what role they need to play. 

[00:19:30] Timelines are extremely important when documenting the situation. Pay attention to this section so you know how to do it properly to show clarity.

[00:21:30] Parents should not let their kids have decision making power in situations because children do not know what is in their best interest. [00:22:30] Susan asks Alan to discuss the weaponization of children between parents. 

[00:27:30] Alan discusses his recent article that highlights these situations even in the celebrity world. Kim and Kanye become an example of weaponization. 

QUOTES: 

[00:08:30] “Let me say this. I think in, in true cases of parental alienation, the parent, doesn't just do one thing. It's usually a multitude of things, which makes it somewhat easier to diagnose, because if it's just one thing, if a parent just occasionally says something negative about the other parent and is not engaging in any other kind of behavior, then that's sort of the unintended.” 

[00:16:00] “Judges will order reunification therapy often. That's not a problem. What they don't do is make sure that the alienating parent has a therapist.” 

[00:21:30] “Adults are supposed to be the decision-makers. They're supposed to be the ones with maturity. They're the ones who are, have perspective. Children are children. They are not the ones who have decision-making power. They don't have the power in the family.” 

[00:32:00] “Children want to love both parents and feel close to both parents. That's just the natural thing the children want and need. And so if both parents understand that and make sure that that happens, then that's, that's the goal that will make everything easier.”   

RESOURCES & LINKS: 

Dr. Alan Blotcky 

SUMMARY

In a continuing effort to raise awareness about human trafficking, Child Welfare Attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Kristy Norbert of the Empower Her Network.  Kristy talks about her organizations mission to help survivors of human trafficking.  The Empower Her Network raises funds and supports survivors in finding a path to personal growth and success.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:56] Susan introduces Kristy Norbert from the Empower Her Network and what her motivation was to start it.

[07:23] Kristy describes the things that her organization aims to do with everyone who comes to them for help.

[17:10] Kristy goes over the details and timeline of the empowerment plan for previously trafficked people.

[25:36] Kristy talks about success stories of people who have come out of her program.

[34:59] What do some alumni of the program go on to do?

[43:28] Kristy explains how you can get involved with helping trafficked people and with the Empower Her Network.

[47:52] Kristy and Susan discuss the importance of the empower her bracelets and how they got her company started.

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QUOTES

2:13 “I can't imagine how oppressed this community must be and the lack of services that must be available. So I actually started by running an organization in Southeast Asia, finding out about human trafficking there. That first was my aha moment.”

14:50 “Housing is a huge barrier. Imagine someone that's trafficked has no credit or really bad credit. Sometimes many times they have a criminal record due to their trafficking experience.”

28:36  “How was your sleep? In your first apartment? And she said, I kept on waking up and pinching myself. And I just couldn't believe this is my real life. I didn't have to be scared of someone else coming in.”

36:20  “I don't actually know how to trust a guy after this. What do I do? When do I disclose my trafficking? So we try to listen at all levels of Empower Her Network to what are they saying.”

52:22 “People are trying to buy and sell the same commodity as they call it, the human being over and over again for their profits. And they're doing it successfully.”

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RESOURCES

SUMMARY

This is child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt’s second interview with parenting expert Sue Dockerill from the Florida Divorce Parenting Class.  In this episode we learn about parenting classes and how they support families going through divorce and child custody challenges.  Sue takes a deep dive into some Co-Parenting challenges like blame, change and dealing with emotions of each person in the family.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[01:03] Sue Dockerill reintroduces herself and talks about her program and what it does for co-parents.

[11:40] Sue explains what her new parenting 202 class is and how it can further help co-parents after the 101 class.

[25:49] How do parents interact in the 202 class?

[33:31] Sue goes over how she gets parents that have divorced to come together to help their child.

[45:56] How do parents respond to the program as a whole?

[51:36] Sue and Susan discuss the meaning of the words respect and responsibility.

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QUOTES

[2:52]  “When people are in the angry stage, that's usually when they pick up the phone and call the attorney and nobody's home up there, they're justhurt and they're raw.”

[17:47] “Parenting can be so much fun when you take out all of that anger and just start managing promises. That's really all it is.”

[38:38]  “I think because I'm in teaching parenting classes that I have to  look at everybody like my family. So, when I'm teaching co-parenting 202,they're like kids, they're watching you and I love each one of them. I don't pick favorites.”

[44:48]  “We’ve got kids that are resilient.  That resiliency is going to come when we put the problems back on our kids and we allow them to solve their own problems and stop blaming the other parent.”

[54:40]  “You couldn't kick some more change in when you were married to them. You're not going to fix them or change them when you're not married to them, but you can change yourself.”

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RESOURCES

SUMMARY

Susan’s guest today is Tara McDonald she is a behavioral health technician. She has experience in the substance abuse recovery field. Tara shares her views and experiences regarding addiction and the most effective treatments from her perspective. Most of her views have been shaped by her personal experience with addiction and through providing help and guidance for others.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[01:01] Susan introduces Tara McDonald who is a drug addiction recovery specialist, and she talks about her job and reasons for doing it.

[07:01] Tara talks about the causes of addiction and how addiction keeps persisting due to ignorance.

[16:15] Tara goes over her traumatic beginnings and her life before she stopped doing drugs and drinking.

[26:55] Tara explains how she got out of addiction and became a recovery specialist for Team Success.

[35:49] Tara discusses the Team Success Homelessness outreach program and its importance.

[51:39] Tara describes how she and Team Success helps homeless children.

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QUOTES

[5:06]   “If I'm working at McDonald's and I can't get my rent, I will end up homeless again. I'm going to go back to using once I go back to using, it's just going to get worse.”

[25:12] “I know the old AA saying you don't change your attitude. I'm a firm believer that a change in the attitude along with a change of latitude can go a long way.”

[29:51]  “But we do this thing where we think we’re normal. We just assume everybody else is high and that carries on into  addiction. We assume that what we're going through, everybody else knows about.”

[47:14] “These people are not continuing in treatment because you're freaking them out because you're giving them a new casemanager every couple of months.”

[56:10] “You're allowed to slip and fall, just fall forward. You're allowed to slip and fall and pick up the phone and call and tell somebody.”

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RESOURCES

Team Success: Phone- (772)-236-7770

SUMMARY

Dr. Hackford has been active in education as a teacher in the School District of Indian River County. After earning her Ph.D. her heart was moved to give back to the community by helping and supporting needy children through the nonprofit Love to Serve.  In this podcast, she will share her journey to the present and the special impact her nonprofit is having on children in Indian River County.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:56] Susan introduces Dr. Amanda Hackford and she talks about her non-profit Love to Serve.

[07:04] Dr. Hackford describes how it is best to talk to children having a rough time in their life.

[21:54] Dr. Hackford goes over the importance of all non-profits and how they help her organization.

[27:20] How does Love to Serve help kids that have aged out of the foster care program?

[37:18] Dr. Hackford talks about her program that help senior citizens in need.

[38:44] How and when can you help Love to Serve in their next projects and how can you contact them?

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QUOTES

[6:37] “If you really want to help, if you really want to know, ask questions that are more important to really dig deeper and , even little questions that are open-ended.”

[13:00] “If you have a uniform or socks or underwear, and they are still in. You grow out of them, but they're still in good condition. That's what you give. Just because these people don't have a home doesn't mean they don't have dignity. So that's what you give to these people.”

[31:14] “When you go out on your own there's expenses that you have, and if you're not even out of high school and you have been in a foster shelter, where does that stuff come from? People like us.”

[35:38] “Someone will say something to me like, oh gosh, those kids are horrible. Or why help them? And my first thoughts are, what are you expecting? What are you expecting from them? How do youeven know what some of them have been through or witnessed.”

[44:28] “No matter what the giver's ability is, Love to Serve are willing and in need of. From very small items like plastic eggs for gift baskets for Easter, all the way up to large monetary donations for your fishing tournament. So whatever the person's ability to give you have that ability to receive in the need for it.”

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RESOURCES

SUMMARY

In this episode, child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Tara Wright, the executive director of a Non-Profit organization called the Buggy Bunch. They discuss how The Buggy Bunch helps mothers become better parents to their babies. She also discusses the Diaper Closet program that helps homeless moms provide basic necessities to their children.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:30] Susan introduces Tara Wright who talks about The Buggy Bunch program and explains what they do.

[02:35] Tara describes what The Diaper Closet program is and how it helps people.

[06:01] What else can The Buggy Bunch help with?

[09:05] Tara talks about how The Buggy Bunch supports children that come directly to them for help.

[15:02] Tara explains the newest developments in the organization and there global approach to supporting the community.

[18:50] Tara reviews the importance of establishing a personal relationship with everyone that comes through their door.

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QUOTES

2:20 “It doesn't matter what your faith is. What your belief system, your background, your marital status, your sexual orientation. That is not our concern. We are interested in building relationships and supporting moms in Indian River County.”

6:28 “One of the greatest needs in our area that we see outside of the diaper wipes and formula, support that we can offer is housing. Housing is a tremendous struggle in our community for reasonable quality, quality housing.”

10:33 “We’re trying to remind these mothers that they are the primary educator of their child from the moment they're born, they are their first and primary educator.”

17:54 “We are a very small staff and when you contact us, whether it's through our website or our phone, you're going to be greeted by a very warm, caring staff.”

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RESOURCES

Furniture

In this episode, child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Alliance Bernstein Vice-President Aisha Ali about wealth management. They discuss ways to align your financial management with your life goals and ways to set financial goals through the divorce process.

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[01:03] Susan introduces Aisha Ali who talks about her job as a wealth manager and how she helps people manage their money.

[02:08] Aisha talks about how she can help the divorce process.

[08:56] Aisha explains trends in the market and how you should look at investing during the pandemic.

[13:52] Aisha shares tips on how to money manage regarding your family’s future.

[24:03] Aisha goes through Alliance Bernstein’s process when they meet a new client.

[30:16] Aisha explains how she gets to have a relationship with her clients and loves helping them.

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2:31 “One of the things that we've seen arise during the divorce process is really having clients not know how much money they should offer for settlements and how much money clients should take for settlements.”

5:26 “So when we're looking at the analysis, let's take a recent divorcee and say ,what are her goals? She wants to make sure she has enough money to put a down payment on a new house. She wants to make sure her children are able to go to college paid for.”

13:11 “When we look forward though, the real economy still needs a lot of help and it needs support.”

21:11  “However, successful you may be in the future and for people who've only known you as successful, and that would be your children if you have been able to mass that before they were born, it can be hard for them to understand why you look at money and you treat it so differently than they do.”

29:40 “I like to tell people that I am not the investment expert. What's great about Bernstein is we have an entire team that works on building and crafting your portfolios.”

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Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt talks to communication expert Deborah Johnson about key factors in preparing clients to testify in family law court and depositions.  In this episode, witnesses will learn how to take control of the process and speak with confidence about their case. Deborah Johnson owns a company called High Stakes Communication that works with witnesses in big trials to help them be more confident so they can get their truth to the judge and jury. She and Susan talk about her methods and stories she uses to get this done. They also discuss how witnesses in different types of cases feel before a trial and how they can keep their emotions in check.

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[01:17] Susan introduces Deborah Johnson and she explains what she does and how she works with witnesses.

[10:33] Deborah explains how what she does helps attorneys when they question witnesses.

[20:33] Deborah describes the difference between a deposition and trial.

[30:56] Deborah talks about specific methods she uses to help witnesses become more confident.

[37:57] Deborah shares some stories and metaphors to think about that will help you be more confident.

[42:45] Why do some witnesses feel so nervous or scared and what makes them trigger?

[47:39] Deborah explains why she can help lawyers and witnesses.

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4:00  “They could have a great case, but if you've got a witness that's a problem, the case could go down the tubes.”

17:42  “You're not talking to the attorney, you're talking to the judge, so don't pay any attention to the attorney. Literally look through them as though they’re a ghost.”

33:11  “Everybody wants to document things on their phone, and as much as I love technology, we break our phones, we lose it we don't pay our iTunes, iCloud bill, we don't get our stuff uploaded. It needs to be in a paper form.”

47:08  “You go find the heart of the witness and have them explore that and have them put it on paper and have them stand up and talk about who they are and how they got that way.”

32:58 “If the judge can't hear them through their pain or their sorrow or their anger, there is no justice, and I'm not an attorney, but that's what makes me crazy, and so that's the work that I do.”

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Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews parenting expert Sue Dockerill from the Florida Divorce Parenting Class.  In this off the cuff conversation, we learn about parenting styles and using responsible love to nurture and grow relationships.  They also discuss our countries divisive political state and positive ways to deal with the outcome of this historic election.

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[00:01:03] Susan introduces Sue Dockerill and she explains a little of what she does and her beliefs on why so many marriages are crashing right now.

[00:15:47] Sue explains the difference between responsible love and unconditional love and how each can help a marriage.

[00:22:33] Sue shares her beliefs on how parents should care for their children during divorce.

[00:41:12] When do you tell small children the whole truth about the world right now?

[00:46:08] Sue describes an effective reward system for children.

[00:53:42] Sue goes into more detail about what she does for marriages.

[01:09:42] Sue talks about how she believes everyone should live their life with joy at all times.

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14:03 “The only way we're going to teach unconditional love is if we parent our children that way, imagine a world where no matter what happens to the children, they have a soft place to land.”

30:37 “The kid that's being the bully at school he's the one we need to feel sorry for.”

44:27 “But what happens now? Because we're so divided by parties, one party is just pulling the other person down and it's really crazy because we're not getting focused on the solutions to our problems.”

1:00:39  “Why can't we just lower the bar a little bit and realize that the divorce is a solution. You get to draw the line in the sand of what you're going to put up with and what you're not. But now that you're going apart, why keep bringing up the painful story?”

1:12:10  “I think we all need to start really living for joy and so one of the things I would say to anybody that's really struggling is when is the last time you did something nice for yourself?”

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Psychologist & marital therapist, Dr. Michael O’Hara, and child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt have a frank conversation about marital therapy. They discuss the benefits, timing, and right ways to pursue therapy. They also review the benefits of therapy for the children involved in divorce & separation. They talk about how to deal with having kids of different ages during the divorce, what helps, and what hurts.
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[00:01:03] Dr. Michael O’Hara discusses marital therapy and what it means for a marriage.

[00:12:40] What is the ratio of positive to negative in a marriage that constitutes a good and lasting marriage?

[00:21:12] Dr. O’Hara explains how he deals with marital therapy if a spouse has an addiction.

[00:31:42] What it means when lawyers get involved in therapy and how to handle it when you use that strategy?

[00:45:07] Dr. O’Hara gives advice about how to parent a child while going through a divorce.

[01:09:15] Dr. O’Hara talks about how psychologists help with child therapy during a divorce.

[01:16:06] How can parents keep a good parent-child relationship with both parents during a divorce?

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9:33 “When we live with somebody, we have to be able to complain to that person about them, about how they make us feel.”

21:57 “When we talk about addiction, we talk about a behavior and it could be substance abuse, it could be gambling, it could be sex. Addiction is when this behavior is repeated compulsively, meaning there's a driven attitude about it.”

44:32 “I think everybody could benefit from counseling in some fashion or form for any reason.”

1:11:33 “You make decisions on what to tell your children based upon how it's going to benefit them, and so parents really need to take that into consideration. Do you speak about it very early on that there are these kind of the sophisticated kids who asked sophisticated questions about the divorce and the breakup.”

1:24:14 “Divorce. That's mainly what we've talked about today. It's a very tragic thing, but it might be the necessary thing. If it is, I hope that it is taken with the utmost consideration, caution, and preparation”

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Child Welfare Attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Pedro Bernabe, CEO and Executive Director of Phoenix Rising Wellness Center. Pedro goes into detail about the human experience of dealing with addiction, going through rehab, and the challenges to stay clean. Pedro also discusses the bonds and relationships he forms with the people coming through his program.

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[00:22] Pedro Bernabe introduces himself and talks about his pathway before and during high school

[00:06:11] Pedro talks about his pathway after high school and how he got into helping addicts

[00:19:46] What is the true definition of addiction?

[00:24:11] Pedro describes The Phoenix Rising Wellness Center and how it came to be

[00:38:10] What does The Phoenix Rising Wellness Center do for people with addictions?

[00:49:41] Pedro explains his bonds and relationship with the people that go through the program

[01:01:02] Pedro tells the community how they can get involved in non-profits and volunteering

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20:40 “My grandparents both were alcoholics, even though they had their behaviors, that network that were never addressed by a professional, they were never addressed. So they continue, they pass that down to their kids.”

24:32 “I said, I didn't want nothing to do with treatment anymore and I want something fresh, something that I can do where I can feel I'm making a difference because too many people are dying from fentanyl use and overdoses.”

38:42 “Alcohol is so cheap. That someone can go in with $30 or $20 and really get intoxicated.”

1:03:04 “We have a big need in this community and we have turned a blind eye to charity in a way, but I think that now there's more and more people talking about it.”

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SUMMARY

This episode of From Foster Care to Family Law - A Child Welfare Focus features Roberta Katz, a board member and longtime volunteer for the Human Trafficking Coalition for the Treasure Coast in Okeechobee. She talks about her passion to prevent human trafficking and raising awareness in the community.

Susan and Roberta discuss the programs and community organizations that are helping to combat against this growing issue. They also review the factors that can make people potential victims of trafficking.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:01:08] Roberta Katz explains human trafficking and how her experience with this has made it her passion to prevent it.

[00:18:26] Factors that make you a potential victim of human trafficking.

[00:22:16] Example of Human Trafficking instances.

[00:40:23] Roberta describes certain red flags that a Child is in threat of being a victim of human trafficking.

[00:45:30] Roberta talks about what she and her coalition does to prevent human trafficking.

[00:54:01] How to help a victim of human trafficking.

[01:02:28] How do people help prevent this issue?

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QUOTES

12:29 “And she said, the 42-year-old man, when she was 16, told her if she had sex with him, he would give her a pillow and a place to sleep. That's survival sex.”

19:01 “Children at risk for recruitment and trafficking are children who are under 18 years old, walk to school or to the store alone, have access to a computer, are attracted to consumer goods, have a desire to develop romantic relationships.”

24:13 “We have all kinds of levels. They went into the rooms and they were spending money and buying costumes, the skins for random children that they didn't know. And then they were forming this bond because the child felt compelled as a thank you to talk to this person. That's normally Gift-ology.”

42:07 “I'm saying, if you see two calculator apps on the phone or two map apps, they've (Your kids) downloaded something and hidden it under a calculator app.”

58:54 “Just because your child's next to you and on the phone doesn't mean they're still not doing something that they shouldn't be doing.”

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RESOURCES

In part 2 of this podcast, Attorney Susan Chesnutt continues her interview with the Department of Juvenile Justice Reform Specialist Christopher Seagrist about his experiences working with the troubled youth in Indian River County, Florida.

SUMMARY

In part 2 of this podcast, Attorney Susan Chesnutt continues her interview with the Department of Juvenile Justice Reform Specialist Christopher Seagrist about his experiences working with the troubled youth in Indian River County, Florida. Chris gives a detailed description of the processes and experiences children have when they go through the system. They discuss the power that judges have to accept or overrule the DJJ recommendations. Susan and Chris wrap up talking about volunteer programs in Florida that are helping kids and families.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:20] Chris talks about the routine the DJJ goes through when evaluating how they should process the kids that get arrested.

[09:52] Chris explains the factors that get kids arrested and put in programs.

[16:08] Chris describes the programs a kid goes into if they can’t prove themselves on probation.

[20:13] How much power does the Judge really have over the DJJ recommendations?

[22:11] Chris and Susan talk about the non-profit organization team Success Enterprises.

[32:12] Chris talks about future projects he plans to create.

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QUOTES

1:00 “But how are you going to talk to a kid about behaving when there's another kid there that murdered his brother or that shot at him?”

15:05 “You're on probation as an adult, you've got one foot in jail and one foot out the door and it's just which way do you lean that day and where are you going to go?”

17:10  “Even the non-secure programs. They are not free to go. They are there for treatment and the overarching concern, like even with indeterminate sentencing of probation. We just want to give the kids what they need.”

20:44 “I've seen many cases where judges went above DJJ's recommendation and got their hand slapped.”

30:43 “There are some agencies in North Florida that partner with DOD, actually a nonprofit that partners with Department of transportation and the kids like to clean out gutters and stuff, and they paid them a partial salary and pay off the restitution at the same time as they're working.”

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RESOURCES

Chris Seagrist - Phone: (772)-429-2121

This episode of From Foster Care to Family Law – A Child Welfare Focus features Chris Seagrist, a Reform Specialist for the Department of Juvenile Justice. Chris gives a detailed explanation of the Juvenile Justice System and what the kids who get thrown into that system go through.

Susan and Chris also talk about the causes of children being arrested and alternatives to them being prosecuted. They talk about the problems with child neglect that can cause kids to become delinquents. They also discuss how racism in America’s justice and law enforcement systems effects kids and the lives they lead.

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[00:59.87] Family Law Attorney Susan Chesnutt introduces Chris Seagrist her guest for this podcast.

[01:25.29] Chris Seagrist tells us a little bit about himself and his background in criminal justice and his current role with the Florida Department of Juvenile Justice.

[9:42.22] Chris Seagrist explains the different terminology that is used for juvenile infractions vs adult crimes.

[15:13.16] How family life can impact kids that get into trouble.

[25:18.37] Chris explains the “Rational Choice Theory” and how it is applied to adults and kids.

[28:15.22] How are disadvantaged kids impacted when they get in trouble?

[35:22.01] What are the criteria for determining if a child is taken into detention?

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3:18 “They (DJJ) have maybe 4% recidivism rate, which means a kid successfully completing the program. We’ll only re-offend 4% of the time. So that’s 96% success rate”

13:56 “Let’s say one of our kids gets assaulted or battered by another youth. We want to see justice, but that doesn’t necessarily have to mean arrest and program.”

18:30 “And I have explained to them, and I feel like I’m doing them (Her kids) a disservice, because I don’t want to tell them that by the way, this is a crime and you should call 911 on each other. But I have to tell them. Hey guys, you guys can’t hit each other because you literally could get charged with a crime”

29:11 “33, I think, percent of black men in Florida are a convicted felons or past convicted felons. They’ve been in touch with the criminal justice system that they’re going to have hard opportunities finding jobs, and the sad part about that is there’s still no evidence.”

38:00 “And everyone has to get an okay from mental health to step them down the ladder until they’re just normal youth in the facility.”

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Chris Seagrist – Phone: (772)-429-2121 Email: christopher.seagrist@djj.state.fl.us

SUMMARY

This episode of From Foster Care to Family Law – A Child Welfare Focus features divorce and family law attorney Kevin Rollins. He talks about his extremely interesting childhood, martial arts, cults, and how it affected him to become a lawyer. The attorneys discuss ways to truly help their clients with family law matters and drill into issues with child witnesses in divorce cases.

Kevin tells us his views on the world and the politics of today. They also review the benefits of collaborative law as an alternative to traditional divorce litigation.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[01:12] Family Law Attorney Susan Chesnutt introduces Divorce and Family Law Attorney Kevin Rollins who then explains his job and his current life.

[06:12] Kevin Rollins explains how the younger generations of Lawyers has affected the profession.

[12:52] Kevin and Susan talk about sexism in the business of law and how it effects different Lawyers.

[18:59] Kevin Rollins goes over his life and how it impacted him to become a Lawyer.

[31:52] What do kid witnesses go through in court when their parents are getting divorced?

[52:29] Kevin’s views on politics today.

[54:49] Why are Collaborative Lawyers are important?

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QUOTES

15:08 “Well ,and no offense, in order for a female to be assertive, she’s automatically characterized as a bitch, even though you have to be sometimes in order for people to listen to you.”

20:04 “I’ve learned now that later, kids who grew up with absentee fathers tend to take on the role of the absentee parent, or you want to protect the parent who’s there and you either lionize or demonize the absentee parent.”

24:54 “Their (The Church of Scientology) uniforms all have a nautical theme and they have not a cool sounding names and for their chain of command, it’s what I would tell people about organizations like that is, It’s not obvious, right? So don’t beat your family members up if they get into some organization like this or any kind of cult. It’s not obvious. They’re not luring you in with tales about aliens and child abuse. They’re luring you in with legitimate self-help.” – About Cult-Like Organizations

50:14 “I spend a lot of time counseling my clients on the reality of their circumstances and just making sure they understand that their kids are going to remember what happens, and that they can’t control the other parent.”

51:23 But, fighting a battle for 5 or 10 or 15 years of child support is not worth a lifetime of your child thinking your garbage because you tried to take advantage of them as a child, or tried to take advantage of their other parents.”

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RESOURCES

Guardian Ad Litem Attorney Erin Harrigan joins Susan Chesnutt to talk about the inner workings of the Foster Care community in Florida.

SUMMARY

Guardian Ad Litem Attorney Erin Harrigan joins Susan Chesnutt to talk about the inner workings of the Foster Care community in Florida. Erin discusses the importance and significance of the Guardian ad Litem job and details what it is like to be a Guardian ad Litem volunteer. Susan and Erin also discuss Erin’s experience in foster parenting and its importance to kids that need a temporary family while their parents get help with an issue they are facing.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[01:11] Guardian ad Litem Attorney Erin Harrigan introduces herself and talks about the Guardian ad Litem job and volunteer program.

[08:53] Review of how a Guardian ad Litem interacts with children.

[12:58] How the Judicial System and the DCF should handle family law cases.

[21:44] Erin Harrigan shares a Heart-Warming and important story about her experience in foster care.

[31:50] What is foster care like as a foster parent?

[36:08] Description of The Guardian ad Litem volunteer program.

[46:00] How should people involved in divorce cases act towards kid witnesses?

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QUOTES

9:41 “But as a child, no matter what your parents have ever done to you. It's never going to be bad enough that you don't want to go home. You love your parents. You love them. So you will always say you want to go home”

15:11 “That gets back to a philosophical question, how much power do you want the government to have?”

23:06  “I was living in a home that had three bedrooms and I was like, you know what? I have empty bedrooms and there are kids in need, and so I went through the classes to get certified as a foster parent.”

37:27 “So we need people to volunteer, to come stuff bags with school supplies that we then hand out to the kids, or, we have a big holiday drive where we have to sort the toys or clothes by different age groups, appropriateness, and then also disseminate all of that to everyone”

56:30 “In COVID, we're seeing the decline in the abuse reports that are made, which sounds like a really good thing, except that I think pretty much as a system, we're a little bit nervous that it's because these kids are home bound and nobody sees what's happening.”

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RESOURCES

This episode of From Foster Care to Family Law – A Child Welfare Focus features Bob McPartlan, Community Development Administrator at the DCF. Bob details his role in caring for abused kids and educating his community to get involved as positive influences and mentors to children in need.

Susan and Bob also discuss substance abuse and how it is the worst and most common factor in putting children into foster care. They also talk about cases where they extended much-needed help to otherwise neglected children and the recent successes of the DCF in placing children with friends and relatives.

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07:51 How DCF can help you

16:30 Substance abuse as the worst cause of fostering

31:23 Community development and church involvement

37:32 Case studies: Meeting human needs and the painful realities of foster children

55:18 Increases in domestic violence cases during COVID-19

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16:18 “It could be as simple as just going to school and reading to kids because kids always look for just one positive influence in their life.”

30:56 “I’ve had parents, I’ve had recurring cases, but I treated them the same every time because today might be the day that they say yes, Bob, I’m ready to make a change in my life.”

48:47 “We try to keep those material things because they have sentimental value and we want to pass them on to our children. I don’t have those and I damn sure didn’t want some other kid to have to experience that because her mother was going through a difficult time.”

54:17 “We set a goal of 67% of those children to be placed with friends or relatives because we know they’re more successful because then parents might be more inclined to visit or assist in visitation.”

56:21 “This epidemic has created a lot of stressors in the home. And again, we are seeing a large number of, again, it’s mainly substance abuse and domestic violence going on at home.”

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Bob McPartlan – Phone: (772) 708-2900 , Email: Robert_McPartlan@dcf.state.fl.us

Florida Department of Children and Families – Phone: 850-300-4323 or 1-866-762-2237, Fax: 1-866-886-4342, Website: https://www.myflfamilies.com/

D-SNAP, formerly known as Food for Florida – Link: https://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/access/dsnap/learn.shtml

Homeless Services Network of Central Florida – Phone: (407) 893-0133, Fax: (407) 893-5299, Email: hmis@hsncfl.org

Food Stamp Program – Link: https://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/access/food-assistance-and-suncap.shtml

Boys & Girls Clubs of America – Link: www.bgca.org

Gifford Youth Achievement Center – Link: https://www.gyac.net/

Hibiscus Children’s Village – Link: https://hibiscuschildrenscenter.org/

Community Based Care of Central Florida – Link: http://www.cbccfl.org/

Team Success Enterprises – Phone: (772) 236-7770, Link: https://teamsuccessenterprises.org/contact-us

This episode of From Foster Care to Family Law – A Child Welfare Focus features Dr. Michael O’Hara, a therapist that specializes in putting families back together. He talks about alienation in families from both the parent and the child’s perspective. Susan and Michael also discuss ways to handle alienation when you are the rejected or the aligned person. Dr. O’Hara also goes through the therapeutic process of how to put families back together.

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[01:19] Dr. Michael O’Hara introduces himself and talks about family therapy for troubled families.

[04:50] Michael explains what alienation really is in families.

[23:25] The role of a child in helping to get his/her family back together.

[35:42] How to act when you are the parent that the child wants to align with.

[41:14] How to act when you are the parent that the child has rejected.

[49:36] What are signs of true alienation?

[57:17] Michael describes the process of being a therapist that helps put families back together.

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23:13 “It’s almost like we have little adults around when they’re teenagers. I have two teenagers right now and by all intents and purposes, they are as smart, or smarter than me. They think in complex ways”

36:29 “In that sense, the child has somebody to go to, that they need, and during this terrible difficult time, you’re the go to parent. However, you also have to play a big role here, and it’s a role that you have to work on understanding”

43:43 “I know it feels injurious to you to have your child rejecting you. It’s a terrible, sad feeling. Try not to turn that into expressing how sad you are and pleading with the child to stop doing this to you and gendering guilty feelings at the child, you have to be strong here.”

56:05 “They have to decide whether they are going to write a child a letter and say, it’s a goodbye letter, and say, I realize now that things are not going to get better between us and my trying to make things better between us is actually making things worse for you.”

1:00:01 “There is a lot of hope in getting into working with these families individually and together to repair those relationships.”

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Family law attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Independent Living Specialist, Rebecca Morgan from Communities Connected for Kids on the topic of Foster Care in Florida. Both Rebecca and Susan formerly worked within the DCF system, and their careers evolved into other proactive roles to help children with challenging family lives. They talk about the treatment of foster kids and challenges for children aging out of the foster care system.

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[00:55] Rebecca Moore introduces herself and talks about foster kids after aging out of foster care.

[03:54] Rebecca talks about independent living after foster care and how they assist young adults turning 18.

[07:44] How the process of reunifying families is looked at from different points of view?

[10:21] Rebecca describes her job in foster care and interacting with 16 and 17-year-olds.

[12:25] Rebecca and Susan discuss how foster children can be mistreated.

[26:23] How foster children should be managed while trying to reunite with their family.

[31:34] Rebecca explains how children who are about to age out of foster care should be treated

4:35 “I was only given $600 per month from the state in order for me to live on when I was 18 and didn’t have anybody to help me.”

8:48 “Now it’s your parents, you know them better than a judge knows them. You know if they’re going to fail, they’re going to succeed at this case plan.”

18:28 “Everyone assumed that, because I was a foster child, that all I was ever going to do was maybe graduate high school, end up pregnant and a criminal or something and that’s just ridiculous.”

27:23 “and there was about 10 or 12 people sitting there. And of course I’m the only child and they keep, they keep saying the child, the child, and I got really upset and I slammed my hand down on the table and I was like, my name is Susan.”

31:50 “The most important thing I want to say is just to make sure that they’re on track with their goals, and to make sure where they are educationally, or that they have a plan in place once they turn 18.”

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SUMMARY

Florida Criminal Defense & Family Law Attorneys Andrew Metcalf and Susan Chesnutt discuss the right to peacefully assemble and opinions on the changing legal spectrum during this time of social unrest and pandemic restrictions. Susan and Andrew also discuss, how policing and Americans should change during this world-wide crisis, especially in America. This podcast also highlights how people that go through a crisis often come out better on the other side.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:52] Susan introduces Andrew Metcalf and they discuss what the 1st Amendment means to him.

[04:58] Andrew discusses his beliefs about the peaceful protests going on during the pandemic.

[11:35] Andrew talks about how police should be retaught approaches to be less forceful during arrests.

[16:55] Andrew tells us his beliefs on what our leaders can do differently relating to police, peaceful protests, and the pandemic.

[21:43] What can America do different during this pandemic?

[28:10] How are Americans affected or going to be affected by our poor choices?

[38:02] Andrew and Susan share stories about how people affected by crisis’s will almost always come out better on the other side.

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QUOTES

3:13 “I was born in 1971, so I'm not a spring chicken, but I did grow up during the civil rights era, but this is the worst I've ever seen in our country.”

6:35 “I have seen aggressive police that are too aggressive, and they need to be held accountable.”

9:16 “I mean, we need to reform the way we think, and police are not taught that, you know, they just aren't taught.”

19:40  “We need to limit the terms of our leaders, because the president, as we all know, the president can only serve two terms, but we have career politicians who all they think about every day is how do I keep my job?”

33:41  “I believe in the underdog, and I'm glad that there has been some movement, but we need to pull back, because if you're out there and you're destroying property and you're hurting people, you’re not right.”

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RESOURCES

Andrew Metcalf Phone: (772) 633-4089

SUMMARY 

Florida Community Advocate Michael C. Marsh details his experiences growing from a civil rights activist fighting for justice against bad cops and transforming into the founder of non-profit organizations. Susan and Michael share their beliefs for how the current law enforcement system in America can be changed and how body cameras should be permitted for all cops. Michael also talks about his beliefs of how we can do better in protesting and fighting for our rights today. 

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HIGHLIGHTS 

[01:11] Susan introduces Michael Marsh and they discuss the problems with overly violent cops. 

[07:25] Michael explains why he believes all cops should be mandated to have body cameras. 

[11:28] How can we change our protesting about “Black Lives Matter” so it is less violent and more effective? 

[19:51] Michael tells us how he thinks we should change the law enforcement system, so it has less power and more supervision. 

[28:15] Michael talks about how Team Success Enterprises was founded and how it supports the community. 

[37:46] Michael talks about how ignorance is not the way to solve the issues in the world right now. 

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QUOTES 

4:54 “There's bad sanitation workers, bad teachers, there's bad lawyers out there, but they're not all bad and you can't put them all in that same box.”

8:21 “Let's face it, do all cops even put on their dash cameras? The answer's no, you think they're going to put on their body camera?” 

11:30 “We cannot allow the police to police themselves, because you know what, that's going to bring us three attributes, accountability, accessibility, and transparency, and that is what we have needed in 2020.” 

29:55 “So I took to Facebook, I said, you know what? I got a big mouth, everyone follows me, I’m gonna start helping feed the people in the woods.” 

45:38 “And I’d like to leave off with our motto and that is, I am! You are! We are! Team success!” 

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RESOURCES 

Team Success Enterprises: Website: https://teamsuccessenterprises.org/ 

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Uplifters2018/ 

Sebastian Police Department: https://www.cityofsebastian.org/164/Police-Department 

St. Lucie West Centennial High School: https://schools.stlucie.k12.fl.us/swc/ 

Florida NAACP (National Advancement for the Association of Colored People): http://www.flnaacp.com/ 

Indian River Shores Public Safety Dept.: https://www.irspsd.org/ 

Boys and Girls Club of Indian River County: https://www.bgcirc.org/ 

Vero Beach Police Dept.: https://www.vbpd.org/ 

Salvation Army: https://salvationarmyflorida.org/verobeach/ 

ORC-Services: https://orc-services.com/ 

LaPorte Farms: https://www.laportefarms.com/ 

Department of Juvenile Justice: http://www.djj.state.fl.us/ 

Care-Net Pregnancy Center: https://www.care-net.org/ 

Hibiscus Children’s Village: https://hibiscuschildrenscenter.org/programs-svcs/hibiscus-childrens-village/

Portia Scott Esq. is the President of the Treasure Coast Collaborative Law Group. Portia will answer the who, what, why, how, and where questions about divorce and collaborative Law. It may be an easier, faster, cheaper way to manage your divorce. She will also discuss how long and how much the cost will be compared to if you don’t use collaborative law.

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[00:54] Susan introduces Portia Scott and her career path to collaborative law.

[06:00] Portia describes the collaborative law process in detail.

[24:44] Portia lists all the pros of being collaborative certified lawyer and how beneficial it is to have a lawyer that is collaborative certified.

[32:14] Portia talks about how long it takes to go through a divorce when using the collaborative method.

[38:51] Portia shares why she believes collaborative law is so important.

[43:18] Portia compares regular and collaborative lawyers and shows why one is better than the other.

[51:19] How can you get a collaborative lawyer and start the process?

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5:28 “One of my passions is the elder law practice, and so I deal with old people all the time and I love old people. They have the best stories!”

8:26 “Why would I give up my skills, knowing what the rules of evidence are, knowing what is objectionable or what is not, you know, that's my, that's my theater. I'm in the courtroom. All eyes are on me. I can grab the attention anytime I want by standing up and saying Objection!”

24:30 “I want to mock the work. It's not healthy. It's not correct. It's not the way that we as adults and lawyers should be helping people through the divorce process.”

40:51  “I do think eventually everybody's going to be collaborative. I think everyone is going to recognize that this is essential to maintaining our civilization on a generational basis.”

51:42  “Google collaborative law and read at least three or four articles on it, because there are different approaches, but they all are going towards the same thing. So do your homework and research what it is, there are resources available.”

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Portia Scott: (772)-287-0096

One of the most challenging parts of weathering COVID-19 or divorce is managing your credit score. Both are major disruptions in your life and can be detrimental in maintaining good credit. Expert Bill Lewis offers numerous suggestions on how to efficiently manage your credit. Bill and Susan also discuss how to manage joint accounts and your overall credit score after a divorce.

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[00:55] Susan introduces Bill Lewis and they talk about joint credit accounts and how they are affected by divorce.

[04:37] How should you handle joint accounts during a divorce that will best affect your credit score?

[08:14] Bill explains situations where an angry divorcee takes advantage of their x-spouse’s credit account.

[14:15] How can you protect yourself from identity fraud that affects your credit?

[21:23] Bill describes the process of negotiating debt during a divorce.

[24:38] How to handle putting your child on a joint credit card account as an authorized card user.

[28:01] Bill shares how to start over credit-wise after a divorce or just going out on your own.

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2:03  “If you have an account with the creditor,  whether it be one of the big banks or one of the big box stores, you're held by your contract.”

10:02  “Typically with the creditors, you do want to talk to the Indian call centers or the foreign call centers because they're easier to speak with, they're easier to deal with, they're more believing in your story.”

16:46 “The benefits of having the seven-year fraud alert far outweigh the cons.”

20:33  “A lot of times you'll see somebody coming back and saying, I'm going to fix the spouse's credit just for the mere purpose of being able to let them move on in life.”

29:57  “Bank of America is going to sit there and say, Hey Susan, we'll open a security account free. We'll move a thousand dollars to this account. What they didn't tell you is this that it's going to take six months to a year before that account reports anything.”

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Bill Lewis: (772) 324-6400

Susan Chesnutt interviews Dr. Nancy Vrechek to explore the dynamics and goals of Co-Parenting Counseling. Sometimes parents going through a divorce struggle to find solutions to issues that arise when deciding how to structure a successful co-parenting agreement. Dr. Vrechek shares important insights from her long career working with thousands of families as a parent coordinator and a social investigator.

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[00:50] Susan introduces Dr. Nancy Vrecheck and she talks about Co-Parenting Counseling.

[07:54] Dr. Vrecheck talks about the possibility of taking other responsibilities when you are a parent coordinator.

[09:52] Dr. Vrecheck talks about her other profession which is being a social investigator.

[15:35] What types of cases do social investigators handle?

[22:23] Dr. Vrecheck tell us what we should do if we don’t have an attorney that offers these options.

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4:47 “We can't help them with big adjustments, like swapping more or changing fundamentally the time sharing. We can help them decide how they want to do it, but again, nothing's legal until, the person in the black robe signs off on it.”

6:57 “I tell the mother; I can talk to your attorney about you. I tell the father, I can talk to your attorney about you, but I can't talk to the attorney about the other parent.”

10:40 “The idea of custody, if one parent has a little bit more, somehow they're better than the other, but by de-stigmatizing and talk about more about what's the best interest of the children in different time-sharing schedules. It keeps them parents more like co-parents.”

14:57  “Sometimes the parent becomes disabled, say they're in a car accident, and they're in a wheelchair, but they've recovered, but their capacity is diminished. They shouldn't just lose their child because of that.”

23:44  “Always take the high road. You can always take the high road.”

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Dr. Nancy Vrecheck: (561) 747-3997

Darrell Rivers is a Corporal in the Vero Beach Florida Police Department. In this episode, Susan Chesnutt interviews this 32-year law enforcement veteran about the changing times, racism, covid-19, and an honest refreshing perspective on how to treat people. He also explains how people should think about bad cops with regards to the entire police force.

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[00:47] Susan introduces Darrell Rivers and they talk about a mutual friend that just passed away.

[03:03] Darrell shares a story about joining the police force 20 years ago and being the only black cop.

[05:07] Darrell and Susan discuss the police force and the community during COVID.

[09:05] How can civilians and the police change right now to fix the unrest in this country?

[11:51] Darrell talks about how people can change their views on the whole police force and not focus on a few bad apples.

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2:22  “You can't stereotype everybody because of one officer's mistake or whatever bad accident that he made.”

5:40  “I think this year, so far, we've had over 29 overdoses and three deaths so far.”

9:41 “You always put yourself in other person's shoes that you're dealing with because that could be you tomorrow.”

15:46  “I had a stepdad that's stepping in as our fathers for all, eight of us, and he only made $125 a week. We stayed in a two-bedroom house, and that was enough to, where I come from to do better and show people that you can be better regardless of your circumstances.”

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Bill Lewis is a long-time credit repair expert, radio host, and author. Bill discusses credit and financial issues that frequently come with a divorce. He also has some interesting information regarding your credit score and special programs related to COVID-19.

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[00:55] Susan introduces Bill Lewis who explains exactly what a credit report is and how it helps you.

[04:48] Bill discusses the cares act and how you can use it.

[06:49] Bill shares some tips on how to care for your credit score using credit reports.

[17:18] Bill tells us how he and his company can help people with credit.

[22:17] Bill describes how to get a free credit report.

[26:33] Bill shares how he can also help attorneys with cases.

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2:49 “It's always been my recommendation to monitor your credit report every three to four months, there are various devices out there.”

7:10 “Our advice has always been pay off your credit cards first, pay off your auto vehicle second, and pay the mortgage third.”

17:36 “We restore credit as a reputation management tool. We have clients that have issues, whether it be a low credit score, whether it be possibly or potentially an arrest record of public records showing up on their credit report and we're able to clean those up.”

19:59  “You need to be able to be proactive, communicate with your creditors, communicate with the individuals that you owe money to.”

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Bill Lewis: (772) 324-6400

Ellen Fernandez is a vocational counselor and vocational rehabilitation counselor for more than 30 years. Her job is evaluating her client's ability to get back to work. Susan and Ellen explore the dynamics of reentering the workforce and the many factors that workers face in today's environment. They also discuss how hard it is to find a job right now, but how the economy is going to bounce back as it has before and will again.

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[00:52] Susan introduces Ellen Fernandez, and they talk about her job of assessing people’s ability to work and where they would be best.

[06:02] Ellen shares information about the best places and times to apply for a job and goes into detail on how to look.

[18:49] Ellen explains how economic change effects when to find a job and how to deal with that change.

[21:42] Ellen and Susan discuss how COVID has and still will effect the economy, job openings, and human beings in general.

[27:20] Ellen goes into detail about her job responsibilities as a vocational counselor.

[35:36] What you can do to find the right job for you during a divorce.

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6:32 “I would say definitely, if you need a job, just get a job. Even if you've been out of work for a long time or you've been furloughed, you need to keep food on the table. It's important to just apply for something.”

19:15 “You'll look back on this terrible experience five years from now and you'll remember how difficult it was, but be so glad that you have gotten out of the situation and forward and things are different and often better because change often does bring out something better.”

26:18 “I think that this situation has called upon all of us to be creative and to figure out solutions.”

35:06  “Some places are paying $15 an hour for lower-skilled jobs. But oddly, some jobs that require a bachelor's degree or master's degree, like working in social services only pay that $15 an hour.”

38:32  “It is hard to find a job and it's discouraging because if you were looking for a job way back when, you could go in person, which is hard to do now, it's mostly applying online. You often don't even get a response, so it feels very much just discouraging.”

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Ellen Fernandez: 321-777-2692

SUMMARY

Larry Lawson is a career law enforcement officer that has served as a uniformed policeman, investigator, and educator.  He offers insights on domestic violence and child abuse from his long career.  His perspective comes from his time serving in the trenches and having a first-hand view of domestic abuse and violence in our community.  Larry feels there is a potential to see an increase in these behaviors motivated by pressures from the COVID-19 pandemic.

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HIGHLIGHTS

[00:00:55] Susan introduces Larry Lawson and he shares his career of being a cop and fighting against domestic violence.

[00:02:58] Larry talks about things that can put strain on people enough to cause domestic violence.

[00:05:49] Larry shares some resources that you can use during COVID-19 to protect yourself from domestic violence.

[00:12:05] Susan and Larry discuss what type of behaviors lead to child abuse.

[00:16:10] How has the pandemic effected domestic violence?

[00:20:56] Larry explains how you can protect yourself and prevent domestic violence any time.

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QUOTES

3:08 “Whenever you've got folks that are under stress, the instances of domestic violence tend to increase.”

12:29 “I would like for people to know that these shelters do have clothing, even professional clothing available so that they can help you get a job, they can help you be financially independent and things of that nature while your escaping your abuser.”

14:38 “I've arrested people that have committed acts of violence to a domestic partner, and just the mere fact that their children's standing there watching it added those charges of child abuse.”

15:58 “We are all a product of our childhood in one way or another.”

18:20 “They're worried about their five-year-old or their eight year old pulling the curtains off the window and at the same time wondering how are we going to eat tonight during this pandemic.”

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RESOURCES

Leah Blythe is a Twenty-seven-year veteran teacher in the Indian River County School System.  She offers her perspective on helping students and parents’ manage virtual school from home for the first time.  No one expected this and the process has been stressful and productive.  Everyone is working hard, learning new skills, and things about themselves. Ms. Blythe is pleased and surprised by how well things have gone. She has some insights that will be helpful to both parents and students.

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[00:56] Susan introduces Leah Blythe and she talks about her experience with the online resources for teaching during the pandemic.

[08:21] Leah talks about how she has kept a personal connection with her students during the pandemic.

[15:10] Leah explains some of the adjustments teachers and students have had to make.

[20:07] How are the kids who are struggling to pass being helped or graded during the pandemic?

[24:27] Leah explains what happens if a student doesn’t pass a class.

[28:13] Susan and Leah discuss how the teachers are dealing with the children that are struggling without in person learning and daily interaction with other students.

[36:26] Leah shares her final tips on how to get through this pandemic

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10:38 “Flexibility is key in a situation like this where everybody's dealing with something different.”

13:52 “We're dealing with the virus right now, but for those little ones to learn, the reading, the writing and the simple math is absolutely essential for the years to come.”

19:58 “Parents have become extremely awakened as to what it takes to educate their own child.”

29:54  “I was so excited to see my students. I mean you hadn't seen these people. And they're wonderful people. You haven't seen them for a month, and they are your motivation for being there every day.”

32:58 “I think that's something kids will walk away from this with is, feeling far more a part of their family and connected with their family through after this and during this.”

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Dr. Nancy Vrechek is a court-appointed expert, parent coordinator, and social investigator.  Dr. Vrechek has spent many years helping parents and their children navigate the choppy waters of divorce and family separation.  Things can be complicated, but there are processes and tactics that can be implemented to smooth the transition to a new normal.  In this Podcast, Dr. Vrechek offers a number of great strategies that can help your family with the trauma of divorce and the COVID-19 outbreak.

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[00:51] Susan introduces Dr. Nancy Vrecheck and she talks about her experience with COVID-19.

[03:07] Dr. Vrecheck talks about time sharing between separated parents during COVID.

[06:26] Dr. Vrecheck explains how an anxious parent should deal with talking to their kid about COVID.

[15:19] Dr. Vrecheck shares some tips on how to not butt heads with the other parent when discussing time sharing.

[21:23] How do you keep yourself from stressing you and your kids out during quarantine?

[23:44] Susan and Dr. Vrecheck discuss the legal parenting changes during COVID.

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4:33 “Parents gets stuck in defending themselves to the other parent, and I think that's one of the most difficult things in co-parenting is to get out of that defense mode and ask for information and have the conversation.”

10:42  “Just tell a child, you know what a cold is and you know what the flu is, and right now there's a really bad flu going around.”

15:50 “Sometimes parents are just scared, and so they may be withholding the child because they're really afraid.”

19:25  “Parents can still allow their children to go outside and we can do activities with them, and those things were just supposed to be social distancing from other people.”

21:48 “So the psychologists have a national listserv, or we share ideas with each other, and the number one thing that keeps coming up, I just maintain a routine.”

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Dr. Nancy Vrechek

Phone: 561-747-3997