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The Blunder Years

The Blunder Years

By Ted Bauer

An examination of what happens to people between 25 and 45 or so: Marriage, kids, divorces, aging parents, career adjustments, new homes, and the like.
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Bonus Episode: Is everyone self-promoting and being tone deaf now, or is that perception?

The Blunder YearsApr 10, 2020

00:00
33:23
Episode 79: Coming back in January 2021 with a renewed focus

Episode 79: Coming back in January 2021 with a renewed focus

I let my podcasting slip in November because a bunch of stuff kinda came together at once: I was doing more paid work (good), I turned 40 (jury's still out), I got remarried (good), I bought a house (good/jury's still out), etc. I needed to pay more attention to what I was doing here, and I didn't, in part because my audience wasn't huge or anything. So, I'm gonna be back in January 2021 with a renewed focus on discussions about adulthood and transitions, friendships and relationships, etc... as opposed to going into work or other topics. I might hit up stuff about male friendships too, as that's clearly near and dear to my heart.

I know 2020 has been a weird year for many. Enjoy the end of it. Do your best. The sun shall rise again. 

Dec 01, 202003:37
Episode 78: 18 or so minutes on the experience of getting married a second time
Oct 29, 202019:25
Episode 77: "You are not a genius" + The emotional toll of white-collar work

Episode 77: "You are not a genius" + The emotional toll of white-collar work

Got remarried about two weeks ago, then went out of town for a few days, so I've been sitting on this interview with Jim Monroe for a minute, and it's time now to release it into the broader world. He's the author of a book called "Don't Be A Dick Manager," and if you know anything about my seven years of blogging, that's a theme I hit on a lot. This conversation is about management, life, business models, California, the propensity of world-building executives to think of themselves as geniuses, and more. We get into some emotional labor near the end too. Hope you dig it, and I'll be back with some more consistent episode bases coming up in a second.

Oct 29, 202050:42
Episode 76: Getting married. For a second time. In a pandemic. This weekend.

Episode 76: Getting married. For a second time. In a pandemic. This weekend.

Here we go ... and how does that feel? 

If you want to understand the "A" to "B" narrative of divorce to new marriage, read this.

My ceremony is at 11am USA Central Time on Saturday, 10/17. I don't expect a lot of people to be around or remember it, because it's a second wedding, COVID, etc. If you want to shoot me a text or something, it's 860-967-7667.

Oct 13, 202005:55
Episode 75: I'm a guy, and often feel lonely and depressed. That should be OK to say, right?
Oct 08, 202009:37
Episode 74: Product is important, sure, but try to give a shit about people
Oct 07, 202009:37
Episode 73: Trump and the rise of the douchebags
Oct 06, 202006:09
Episode 72: Divorce sucks, but divorcing the friends is probably worse
Oct 05, 202010:40
Episode 71: Why are so many managers so f*cking awful at respecting their employees?
Oct 05, 202006:04
Episode 70: Rump Got Rona'ed and the dangers of Boomer loyalty
Oct 02, 202011:40
Episode 69: How many times a week should couples be having sex?

Episode 69: How many times a week should couples be having sex?

With some science and even some data. Based largely on this original post from September 2015. Hope you ... find some information and solace within it.

If you want to go bigger on sample size here and use actual people instead of sex therapists, here’s a Reddit thread (with 278 comments) where people talk about their amount-of-sex-per-week relative to their age, time married, and kids. Some of the better comments are subsequently summarized on Huffington Post.

Sep 24, 202010:07
Episode 68: RBG and the ridiculous dichotomy of a woman's role in society

Episode 68: RBG and the ridiculous dichotomy of a woman's role in society

I'm not a big or relevant voice in the RBG implications and legacy discussion, but I did want to weigh in on some of her "branding" and the ridiculous flaws and assumptions we have around a woman's role in society.

Sep 19, 202007:17
Episode 67: The divergence of life, 28-to-35 or so
Sep 18, 202013:24
Episode 66: Is conventional college valuable anymore?

Episode 66: Is conventional college valuable anymore?

Grant Aldrich, who comes from a startup background, is currently the CEO and Founder of OnlineDegree.com. Obviously affordable higher education has been a big topic politically and socially for years now, often in the context of debt that people enter the job market with. We talk a lot about that here, about different biz models for education, about finding purpose, and about the changing nature of the college student. There’s a couple of kernels of life advice near the end as well. Let’s roll.

Sep 03, 202031:54
Episode 65: The promise and the peril of turning 40 (+horrible conference call stories)

Episode 65: The promise and the peril of turning 40 (+horrible conference call stories)

I turn 40 on November 7. My friend Diana, who has guested on this podcast before, turned 40 this past Tuesday -- August 25. I talked to her on Monday about the promise and the peril of the big four-oh. Plus, if you either listen through or scroll to the end, we have a bunch of horrible conference call stories. Let’s roll.

Aug 26, 202055:47
Episode 64: The COVID return to school, old white guys on Facebook, Libertarians, and life decisions of your late 20s

Episode 64: The COVID return to school, old white guys on Facebook, Libertarians, and life decisions of your late 20s

This is an interview with my friend Nathan, who I think I once called a “KPI Kevin” on LinkedIn and that cemented our relationship. We talk a lot about politics, about outsourcing, about Libertarians and old white men on Facebook, and because he works with a teachers union on the marketing side, we talk about the COVID return to school stuff as well. It’s a longer interview of maybe 70 minutes or so, but we get into the weeds on a few things, including how I myself ended up in Texas. So, give it a whirl if you get some time.

Aug 20, 202001:14:19
Episode 63: Friends after you move, The Platinum Rule, Midwest vs. Everybody, sports, Amazon, and more

Episode 63: Friends after you move, The Platinum Rule, Midwest vs. Everybody, sports, Amazon, and more

This interview is with Joe Matar, a Marketing VP at Brazen, which is a top virtual events platform, including career fairs. We initially met back in February of 2018, because I was helping work a RecruitingDaily event at Brazen’s HQ in Virginia. We bonded over some funny leadership stuff and sports. Joe is a big Wisconsin guy, i.e. Bucks, Brewers, Packers. I have an odd fascination with the Bucks, so that got us going, and then we saw each other at a couple of trade shows along the way pre-COVID. This is a discussion about sports, leadership, working at Amazon, the Midwest vs. the coasts, making friends after you move for work, “the platinum rule,” and more. Hope you enjoy it. Let’s roll.

Aug 12, 202040:02
Episode 62: "Homeschooling before it was cool," weightlifting, kids in a pandemic, and keeping up with the Joneses

Episode 62: "Homeschooling before it was cool," weightlifting, kids in a pandemic, and keeping up with the Joneses

This is an interview with my man Fritz in St. Louis, who runs ArchDevOps. He was actually the guest on Episode 27 back in the day. On that episode (27), we talked about battling cancer, raising daughters, and more. This one is more about parenting through COVID, homeschooling, the power of weightlifting, Earth as a “death planet,” and finding and retaining work during a pandemic. Hope you enjoy.

Aug 05, 202035:56
Episode 61: The experience of new fatherhood, during COVID no less

Episode 61: The experience of new fatherhood, during COVID no less

This is a short interview with my man Stuart Higgins of Higgins Talent Sourcing. We talk shop a tiny bit (recruiting), but most of this is about the uncertainty of the modern moment. He's based in England, but his wife is from Poland, and he did this interview in Poland. They're kinda floating and taking care of her mom these days, and oh by the way, they just had their first kid during COVID-19. He couldn't be back up to the hospital for two weeks after the birth. What's the experience of new fatherhood like in such a weird time?

Jul 29, 202023:24
Episode 60: The future of recruiting, Miller Lite binges, dance moms, low ponies, and more

Episode 60: The future of recruiting, Miller Lite binges, dance moms, low ponies, and more

This is a conversation with my LinkedIn friend (I surprisingly have a few of those), Daava, who is a recruiter in Portland Metro. We taped this maybe two weeks ago, so before all the political stuff happening in Portland right now, hence that’s not covered. However, this is still pretty interesting, and we talk about dance moms (she is one), competitive motherhood, the future of recruiting, communication styles, and what type of candidate/employee might excel because of COVID paradigm shifts. There’s also a story about low ponytails and excessive Miller Lite consumption in here. Hope you enjoy it!

Jul 21, 202039:38
Episode 59: Definitions of diversity | Moving to Colorado | "The Note Police"

Episode 59: Definitions of diversity | Moving to Colorado | "The Note Police"

This is an interview with Colorado-based organizational consultant Jeff Kinsey, who has a company called The Logos Group about 20 minutes from Boulder, CO. We talk a lot about the influx of people into Colorado, “The Note Police” at work, finding a true strategic path, and the question of what “diversity” even is -- i.e. is it racial, gender-based, or cognitive-driven. Hope you enjoy it, and we’ll be back next week.

Jul 15, 202032:49
Episode 58: Honesty as the "clarion call" of adulthood

Episode 58: Honesty as the "clarion call" of adulthood

My guest on this episode is Peter, who recently wrote a book called Honest to Greatness, which is coming out in mid-August. He actually has a 21-question “honesty quiz” on his website, which I linked in my show notes for this episode. He scaled an agency and he focuses on a coaching/consulting approach driven by honesty, which might seem like an oxymoron to some people. I’ve thought a lot about honesty at work, and in personal context, over the last few years as well. The big example in this space is probably Ray Dalio and “radical transparency,” and Peter and I discuss that here. We also talk about some research on how virtually every human being under the sun has lied in their life, but how you lie is typically a function of social class and access to resources. Peter calls honesty a “clarion call” for the rest of your existence, and I’d largely agree with that. Final quick note here: I think I hadn’t “dropped” an episode in about 7-9 days. I’m trying to get back to two per week but also balancing out the rest of my life and income possibilities, so for the 5,000 or so people who have listened to this so far and might come back, I’ll try to stay consistent with new episodes. Alright, let’s get to Peter and honesty.

Jul 08, 202028:57
Episode 57: The Etsy of Career Coaching

Episode 57: The Etsy of Career Coaching

This episode, my guest is Francie, who founded an online career coaching program called Terawatt. (They even have a pretty good blog.) We start this interview talking about life transitions -- her and her husband and kid spent eight years in California and moved back to the east coast last summer -- and then we get into coaching, leadership, management, and how to guide yourself through a career and find help from others. If you’re into leadership contexts, it’s a good, quick-ish (27 or so minutes) discussion. Let’s get going.

Jun 24, 202027:42
Episode 56: Does every generation think the next one is going to ruin everything?

Episode 56: Does every generation think the next one is going to ruin everything?

This is a conversation with my friend James, who is based “across the pond” in England. We start out talking about Brexit, and then we move into some of the problems with communication and language and persuasion and listening in a mobile-digital-first age, before getting into some generations stuff too. I think we even work Emma Watson in there. As a final quick note, I’ve got a few more episodes taped to publish, but it’s drying up a little bit, so if you think you might be interested in coming on for 25-30 minutes to talk about life, love, and the pursuit of adulthood, shoot me a message.

Jun 15, 202047:39
Episode 55: From #BillsMafia to friendships and housing prices

Episode 55: From #BillsMafia to friendships and housing prices

The guest on this episode is my friend Matt. He’s from the east coast but relocated to Denver and he’s part of the Just Be Social squad on the Twitter device, which includes a few of my previous guests on this podcast as well. Matt is a good dude, and we overlap in the sports fandom, meme fandom, and recruiter Internet ecosystem worlds. Thing is, he’s actually in recruiting and I just talk about it periodically. In this episode, we start on #BillsMafia and whether Buffalo people can have nice things (could this be the year with Brady gone?), and then we talk about housing prices, buying homes, relationships, and whether people stay friends when they stop being co-workers. Hope you mostly enjoy it!

Jun 08, 202046:44
Episode 54: Instagram, Fatherhood, Creativity, and Five-Year Plans

Episode 54: Instagram, Fatherhood, Creativity, and Five-Year Plans

Earlier this week, I actually got in a semi-heated Twitter exchange about the role of Instagram in everything that’s going on racially. I was going toe-to-toe with Angelica Mata, who was actually the guest on Episode 21 of this podcast. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of IG broadly, and I think the reason is that when I was on it, I was following the wrong people and brands and I was seeing a bunch of low-context virtue signaling. I’m not on it right now and I can only imagine that’s happening around race issues.

Anyway, my guest on this episode is Kenny, and he’s a creative director who began as a photographer, so we talk about Instagram and its role. We also talk about fatherhood, creativity, five-year plans, and more. We’re gonna dive in talking about concepting and briefs.

Jun 05, 202039:60
Episode 53: "Many people are outsiders through no fault of their own"

Episode 53: "Many people are outsiders through no fault of their own"

This interview is with my friend Darren, who is Jewish and from a small town in Texas that has, well, as you might imagine, not a good deal of Jewish people aside from his family. So we talk about being an outsider, understanding why others are outsiders, embracing different perspectives, online filter bubbles, and a little bit about HR and the ridiculousness of surveys (that part is towards the end). We actually taped this back on May 6th or 7th, well before the George Floyd protests, but I think a lot of the discussion resonates right now. Hope you find some value in it.

Jun 01, 202050:55
Episode 52: The late 1990s, Marriott-driven Polish party scene + Silicon Valley accountability

Episode 52: The late 1990s, Marriott-driven Polish party scene + Silicon Valley accountability

I think I first discovered the writings of Greg Satell, perhaps better known as Digital Tonto, sometime around 2015 when I was first trying to be a solo hustler. He’s an interesting dude. He was born and raised in Philly, lived all over Eastern Europe and the former Soviet block in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and ended up back about two miles from the house he grew up in. This conversation is predominantly about new ideas, technology, growth, and the accountability of Silicon Valley, but we also take a look at the Marriott-based party scene of Poland in the late 1990s. I actually taped this introduction in a WeWork -- don’t worry, I was social distancing at the time, which is to say no one was in the WeWork really -- so if you hear some background noise, my apologies. You’ll also hear my trusty dog, Samson, bark two times in this episode. And finally, I had a question about life experiences in your 30s for Greg, but befitting a conversation largely about tech, our Skype died out and it couldn’t reconnect, so I didn’t get to it. Still, enjoy this. I think ye will.

May 28, 202038:40
Episode 51: How do you define yourself? | Why aren't people paying attention? | The value of being a lazy bum

Episode 51: How do you define yourself? | Why aren't people paying attention? | The value of being a lazy bum

Sometimes in the weird freelance bubble that I’ve called home since 2015 or so, you randomly encounter people on the Internet who click “like” on some of your stuff, and then here and there you do a few work projects with them and can call them friends or acquaintances from afar. That’s the story with D’Nelle here, the guest on this episode. I dragged my feet a little on posting this because of other BS in my life, but it’s actually a really good conversation on defining yourself, the value of laziness, and how we’re all angry that people are not paying enough attention at a time when we’re all supposedly needing to pay more attention. Let’s get to it. We’re gonna start by talking about COVID’s impact on her business and her partner’s business.

May 26, 202040:46
Episode 50: A loving shout-out to all the micro-creators who put good stuff into the universe every hour
May 21, 202005:47
Episode 49: Dealing with recruiters during the pandemic, in roughly 21.5 minutes

Episode 49: Dealing with recruiters during the pandemic, in roughly 21.5 minutes

There’s a huge ecosystem of recruiting and HR content out there in the world these days, which I’ve contributed to in part for sure. In fact, just on this podcast since I launched it, I’ve had Tim Sackett (Episode 35) and William Tincup (Episode 18), who are both semi-big names in that world. Well, to spare you some additional bullshit about dealing with recruiters and how to get jobs, especially in a layoff-heavy pandemic period, here I talked to Robert, who was one of my original antagonists on LinkedIn, where everyone seems to broadly not like me that much. In this interview, we talk about how recruiters work, agency (third-party) models vs. in-house models, AI, how to get the most from a recruiter relationship, and more. We cover all this in a little under 22 minutes, so it should be what they call “snackable” content for you. I cannot promise you a job or anything, because I myself really haven’t had much success north of 33 landing a conventional W-2, but I can promise you some context for how to work with and think about the recruiting sphere in this one.

May 18, 202023:53
Episode 48: Sober friends vs. drunk friends
May 14, 202056:10
Episode 47: That first wedding you attend post-divorce | Reaction vs. response | Expectations | COVID as a near-death experience

Episode 47: That first wedding you attend post-divorce | Reaction vs. response | Expectations | COVID as a near-death experience

This guest is named Diana. If you scroll back in your podcast player from this episode all the way to Number 29 of this show, it’s the same guest. We originally met in June 2003 doing Teach for America, both of us training in Houston. OK, so Episode 29 -- not this one -- is largely about an assessment she sent me and I completed and what that says about me and her as professionals. So that’s a little bit more of a “work” episode, and this is a little bit more of a “personal” episode, because we’ve both been divorced somewhere among the 17 summers since we first met. The core difference contextually is probably that she’s still close with her ex and they have a spot in each other’s lives, which is not my experience. But we talk about a bunch of stuff in this episode, including the first wedding you attend after your own divorce, which can be trippy. Plus: expectations, reaction vs. response, coaching, COVID as a near-death experience, and more. Alright, let’s get into it.

May 11, 202001:06:45
Episode 46: "Is this your baseline level of being a dick?"

Episode 46: "Is this your baseline level of being a dick?"

I met this guest, Todd, on LinkedIn -- I think that is an under-discussed channel of mid-30s and above male friendship, oddly -- within the last six months to a year, I think. We interacted on a few posts about different work things and then taped this episode, which starts with a look at the early days of TiVo. Todd was actually in the room the first time live TV was paused. Then we get into parenting and the idea of 13 year-olds having a moral obligation to be dicks to their parents, and then we get into some life lessons including what he learned from a book called “Cured.” Along the way there’s also a discussion about swim lanes of life, and how to decide whether to even have kids. Hope you enjoy it. Let’s roll.

May 08, 202050:26
Episode 45: "Did God fill that form out for you?" | Conspiracies | Drinking | Relationships

Episode 45: "Did God fill that form out for you?" | Conspiracies | Drinking | Relationships

This is an interview with my friend Gabe. I think we first started connecting sometime in 2018, on LinkedIn first. You know it’s some real serious shit because eventually we became Facebook friends too. This is a pretty far-reaching discussion on religion, relationships, being a manager at work, conspiracy theories, drinking, partying, growing up, and more. I hope you find some value in it. Let’s roll. We’re actually going to start by me telling Gabe about a conversation I had with my pastor, who actually also ended up on this podcast at Episode 37 I think, if you want to go check that out.

May 06, 202001:00:23
Episode 44: God, data, sports, advertising, and friends belittling and ranting at each other

Episode 44: God, data, sports, advertising, and friends belittling and ranting at each other

At this point, I am not even sure the first time I met this guest, Mr. Eamonn. We were friends at ESPN, so I figure we met sometime around fall 2005. It’s incredible to think that we’ve known each other 15 years at this point, and/or the fact that I’m almost 40 and he’s over it. Since we met in Central CT, we’ve probably lived in a combined 10 places, and he’s been in Hawaii and now back in Ireland. Life is weird. This is basically a discussion between friends and sometimes biz-type partners who belittle each other along the way, on topics ranging from God to data to sports to advertising to algorithms to relationships and back again. It’s in line with a few episodes I’ve done where I catch up with old friends about the status of their life and belief structure at the moment, which I probably can’t monetize that successfully, but hell, I think it has value. So, here we go. I think we’re going to start with a Pope and religion discussion.

May 03, 202001:04:14
Episode 43: Fixing education, middle school hoops, Houston vs. NYC, and male friendship in your 30s

Episode 43: Fixing education, middle school hoops, Houston vs. NYC, and male friendship in your 30s

I started doing Teach for America in mid-June 2003. It was still about two weeks before LeBron would even be drafted into the NBA. The previous summer, the Knicks had made the second round of the NBA playoffs -- and I don’t think they have been back to that round since. As of mid-June 2003, I think the only time I had been to Texas was a layover in DFW Airport. So I moved down there with a bunch of preconceived notions and no idea what I was in for in terms of teaching in the inner-city, and one of the first kids (we were all kids at the time, like 22 or so) I met was named Dave. He was also from the general Northeast, a Knicks fan, etc. We became friends. 17 summers later, we still talk periodically, so we taped this podcast and talk about a bunch of different stuff, from fixing education to middle-school basketball to the difference between living in Houston and living in NYC (it’s not as big as you think). At the end, we talk about male friendships in your 30s. Dave actually still teaches, and went from Houston back to NYC. I went from Houston back to CT and NYC, then back to Texas but in the DFW area. Life is weird, and maybe this conversation underscores that. Let’s get to it.

Apr 29, 202001:02:01
Episode 42: The ability to be with one's self in a quiet room

Episode 42: The ability to be with one's self in a quiet room

I initially heard this guest, James Hollis, on The Art of Manliness podcast. That episode was on finding meaning in the second half of life. Hollis is a Jungian therapist, i.e. Carl Jung. We don’t get into a tremendous amount of Jungian stuff here, but we talk about meaning throughout life, masculinity, and the ability to be with one's self in a quiet room. Having been divorced and trying to cope with that reality, I can tell you that’s a very real measure of a man. This episode is only about 20 minutes, so give it a whirl when you can. Let’s dive in.

Apr 27, 202021:35
Episode 41: Moving out of a house you've lived in since 1987
Apr 24, 202025:43
Episode 40: What two skills should your kids leave the house with?

Episode 40: What two skills should your kids leave the house with?

I’ll keep this intro short, but I’ll make it a tad personal. Last summer (2019), I had just been piped out of this agency gig that I thought would have ended up better. Instead, I was there eight months, it largely seemed like most people disliked me, and I had a very unceremonious exit. Because of that and largely being fed up with the broader work ecosystem and how people get gigs and jobs, I was kind of a mess for part of summer ‘19, day-drinking and the like. Nothing I’m really proud of. Well, I have a couple of decent in-real-life friends who were helpful in that time, and then I have a few “Internet friends” who also were. Mike Simmons is my guest on this episode, and he falls into the latter category. Always down to discuss work or football or working out or finding mentors or getting better as a person. Interesting dude. This is about maybe 45 minutes of us talking about a wide variety of topics, including parenting, learning, the movie Cast Away, and more. We come back to COVID-19 a lot, though, and in fact we’re going to start there in terms of how to communicate with your team regarding what’s happening in the business in these moments. Let’s roll.

Apr 21, 202050:57
Episode 39: Why are we so bad at retaining info as adults? And how do we get better?

Episode 39: Why are we so bad at retaining info as adults? And how do we get better?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve very infrequently been to a successful training as an adult professional. Most are entirely subpar: stale cookies in the back of the room, chart paper on the walls, maybe some trust falls. But, while people do get new context and information professionally from interactions with co-workers and general life, the fact is that we put a semi-religious importance on training to hand people new skills. If the world of work is truly shifted by COVID, training will seemingly be a bigger deal in late 2020 and into 2021. But we haven’t broadly done it that well for a while. So it begs a work question and a broader question: how can we, as adults, gain and retain knowledge better? And how can we focus more on individual learning needs, as opposed to flashy technology? My guest on Episode 39 is my friend Laura, a learning and development professional, and we’re going to discuss this in both work and personal contexts. Let’s roll.

Apr 20, 202038:03
Episode 38: In which I briefly interview my girlfriend about Lent

Episode 38: In which I briefly interview my girlfriend about Lent

I quit drinking for Lent 2020 and my girlfriend, Katie, quit sweets/desserts. So, as Lent 2020 ended, we sat down for about 18 minutes to discuss both experiences. If you are wondering who "Samson" is and cannot figure it out from context clues, that would be our dog. 

Apr 16, 202018:57
Episode 37: A conversation with my pastor on faith, work, growth, Easter 2020, and more

Episode 37: A conversation with my pastor on faith, work, growth, Easter 2020, and more

If you read some of the stuff I write or post, you may not think of me as a religious person. In some ways, I am not. I believe I was baptized Methodist, but as a kid I really only went to church on big events, or for weddings/funerals. It was not an active part of my life. I converted to Catholicism before marrying my ex. My mom was Catholic and my aunt is very Catholic so I had some context for it. That relationship did not long-term work out, and even after that conversion, I wouldn’t say we were very religious or church-going. Since late 2017, when I first met Katie, I’ve been going consistently to First United Methodist in downtown Fort Worth. I’ve been thinking about faith more in that process as well. So, what follows here is a conversation with one of the senior pastors at that church, Lance. He is the pastor of “The Gathering” service that I attend, along with a bunch of my church friends. We taped this right before Easter, and we’re actually going to start by talking about the repercussions of Easter not being in-person for most of us this year. There’s a lot of faith and work and spirituality “wokeness” in here, so enjoy it. I’ll say one final thing: a lot of times, I asked kinda three-part questions here and that might get irritating, but I promise you the conversation has some value. Let’s roll.

Apr 15, 202046:05
Episode 36: "Nobody's f*cking equal!"

Episode 36: "Nobody's f*cking equal!"

In summer 2013, I worked on a 12-week-or-so project with a big health care company. While I was there, one of my buds was this woman named Nikita. She’s since lived in a bunch of different places (me too), but we stayed connected digitally and taped this episode about 1.5-2 weeks ago. It’s primarily about raising kids, the flaws in diversity and inclusion arguments, and trying to determine what is and is not important as you move through your 20s, 30s, and 40s. Let’s get to it.

Apr 13, 202054:42
Bonus Episode: Is everyone self-promoting and being tone deaf now, or is that perception?

Bonus Episode: Is everyone self-promoting and being tone deaf now, or is that perception?

Feels like everyone is out there trying to hustle their widgets these days as opposed to like, I dunno, think about people dying and losing jobs? We don't want to constantly talk about the pandemic, no. We want to have some degree of normal conversation and figure out where everything stands. But at this moment, any marketing or sales email type deal -- or any post online, really -- can land as self-promotional and tone-deaf. But is that the reality, or is that just because our perception of that stuff is heightened in this moment? Plus: the role of the Internet. Plus: Calvin and Hobbes. Plus: some company in Montreal. Oh, and by the way, the guest is my friend David, who was also the guest on my first-ever episode, which was entitled "Existential Adriftness." Talk about a moment we are in now... 

Apr 10, 202033:23
Episode 35: Tone-deaf emails, Larry Nassar, and negative predictions

Episode 35: Tone-deaf emails, Larry Nassar, and negative predictions

Tim Sackett is one of those “HR Famous” dudes where you’ve mostly probably heard him in audio or video form discussing hiring and retention and those types of topics. Me and him have actually been friends / acquaintances for about 3-4 years now. I think we’ve met in person maybe twice, which underscores the weird digital world we all reside in -- and even moreso now with coronavirus. Speaking of actually, this interview begins with Tim’s estimates on corona timeline, although we taped this probably third week of March, so additional data has come to light since. We also talk about tone-deaf emails, lessons of your 30s and 40s, Boomer generalizations, and at the end we spend some time on Larry Nassar and Michigan State, as Tim is a big MSU guy and lives in East Lansing too. Alright, let’s get going.

Apr 08, 202046:40
Episode 34: Japan vs. USA, motherhood, "need cuddles," and gender equality

Episode 34: Japan vs. USA, motherhood, "need cuddles," and gender equality

I’m on a Twitter thread that we call Just Be Social, which is now about 35 people who talk throughout the day on different issues, usually current events, but sometimes it gets deep and heated on gender/sex, ecnomic models, etc. We’ve become pretty good “online friends,” I guess you would call it. It’s definitely helpful in this current moment of social distancing.

I have had other people from this thread on this podcast -- Mollie I think was Episode 2 and Brenda I think was Episode 14 -- and I plan to try and have more. This is an interview with my Just Be Social friend Theresa, who is a bad-ass mom, once lived in Japan, and is pursuing her MBA and working full-time in the general Portland area. We actually start this discussion with some USA vs. Japan comparisons, because I’ve never been to Japan and know nothing about it, really. (PS I think in Episode 23, my other friend talks about the idea of “sex robots” in Japan.) So we’re going to start there, but then we’ll get into motherhood and cuddles, gender equality and more. Let’s roll.

Apr 06, 202045:02
Episode 33: Partisanship, Texas girls, religion, loss, relationships, and catching up

Episode 33: Partisanship, Texas girls, religion, loss, relationships, and catching up

This is a conversation with my friend Ben from high school. Back then his nickname was “Big Red.” His nickname might still be that; I don’t know. We’ve been out of high school 20+ years at this point. Gimme a break, OK? He went off to Duke. I went off to Georgetown. We actually talk a little bit about that in the beginning -- we clearly came from an “elite” academic institution, but we still have mutual friends from back when who share the dumbest stuff possible on Facebook. We also went to HS with Randi Zuckerberg, Mark’s sister, so there’s some on that. Also: men in therapy, losing your mom, adult relationships, Texas girls, partisanship, finding religion in your 30s, and just two dudes catching up after a couple of decades. It was fun to tape. Hopefully you listen to some of it! Let’s roll. I’m talking about the Jared Diamond book “Upheaval” as we get started.

Apr 02, 202001:08:54
Bonus Episode: "Constructive Discharge"

Bonus Episode: "Constructive Discharge"

With all the layoffs stuff going on globally right now -- there's a chance that 5M people in the USA have filed for unemployment in about the last 14-17 days -- I had a quick conversation with my friend Cathrine about the idea of "constructive discharge," which feels like something you'd read on Goop, but no ... it's a real thing around how companies treat employees, especially in times necessitating cost-cutting. 

Apr 02, 202028:24
Bonus Episode: Laid off by someone you've never met or talked to before

Bonus Episode: Laid off by someone you've never met or talked to before

This is a layoffs discussion with Schelley, who is a Florida-based technical writer. She actually got laid off from two different jobs one year apart, on May 16. One of the layoffs was within 48 hours of her divorce becoming final too. And in one of the layoffs, she was contacted by a person she’d never met to be laid off! She’s got some stories, and we get through them in about 12-13 minutes. It’s an interesting look at humanity. Let’s hit it.

Apr 01, 202012:04