Welcome to Finding Proof with Australian psychologist and business mentor, Dr Tess Crawley.
What is getting in the way of you achieving your business goals? Are you feeling stuck? Do you fear about what others think of you? Does doubt stop you from taking action? Do you need to find proof that you are strong as wish you were?
I can help.
Welcome to the Finding Proof podcast. I am your host Dr Tess Crawley and I am on a mission to help you find the evidence you need to make the next courageous leap in your business.
An inspiring conversation recently with recovery coach, Tracy O'Malley, for the Finding Proof podcast.
Tracy is a woman with a lived experience of multiple generations of addition. Not only has she overcome the struggle of her own recovery, she now coaches others to overcome addiction, break the multi-generational patterns that keep them stuck, and cheerleads them on to achieve great things in their own lives.
I loved this discussion about the work we both do, and the challenges of vulnerability, parenting, business, and much more!
p.s. There may be the odd salty word or two. 😉
An inspiring chat today with addictions coach, Tracy O'Malley, for the Finding Proof podcast prompted these thoughts on vulnerability.
It is THE secret weapon.
THE secret sauce.
Listen to your wise, experienced, vulnerable self. It’s everything!
p.s. There may be the odd salty word or two. 😉
As a business owner, it is not helpful to get stuck in an echo chamber, filled with people who are only telling you what you want to hear. Find the people who are brave enough to tell you what you NEED to hear. Build your band of truth-talkers to keep you grounded.
Is the system broken, or is it just that you need to parent outside the system? As an entrepreneur, you think differently and work differently to the "norm". This might mean you are feeling "wrong" for parenting differently to the "norm". You're still doing your level best to be a compassionate and wise parent. AND you're an entrepreneur. Go easy on yourself!
I had a thoroughly enjoyable conversation today with Cayla Craft, LA-based successful entrepreneur and mentor to women business owners. Cayla talked about how her childhood set her up to have the bulletproof mindset that has seen her grow from ER nurse to self-made millionaire and mentor to female entrepreneurs globally. Raised by a single mum, her drug-addicted father frequently in prison, Cayla adopted the mindset early in life that she was capable of achieving whatever she set her mind to. And so she has.
In this episode we talk about the challenges she faced early in her entrepreneurial journey, her "no rules" approach to parenting as an entrepreneur, and her tricks for keeping her mindset focused on success.
I could have talked to Cayla all day! Enjoy.
You can find out more about Cayla at www.mommymillionaire.co
It was my great pleasure to speak this week with the very lovely Jeannette Fuentes successful Los Angeles entrepreneur and speaker.
Our conversation covered her experiences as the child of immigrants and how that influenced her business career, her early setbacks before the power of #MeToo could give her a voice, and how as a successful realtor in Los Angeles she still manages to the busyness of business with her own self-development and the empowerment of other female realtors.
This was a delightful conversation, as Jeannette and I found that we had so much in common.
Meanwhile you can follow Jeannette on Facebook or on Instagram (@_JeannetteFuentes).
Yesterday I did a Facebook Livestream that was pretty raw and emotional. But I stood in truth, pulled on some courage, and spoke from the heart.
Here’s what happened next ...
#vulnerability #business #entrepreneur #coach #mentor #findingproof#quietconfidence #firestarters #gratitude #pressrecord #TessBomb
This might not be pretty, but it will be real.
(Warning: There may be some LANGUAGE!) #TessBomb
At 6:30 this morning I had a meeting with Steve in New York. He’s my agent, but more than that, he’s someone I care about. This morning he held up a mirror for me to see myself for what I am. And I’m ashamed to say that what I saw didn’t make me happy. There were tears.
Despite my success.
Despite my “eternal optimism”.
Despite my authentic care for you.
I’ve failed to let you in. I’ve failed to be clear in what I tell you about what I struggle with. Because we all have the SAME struggle. But I’ve not shared mine with you.
You don’t need to hear all my dirty laundry, but you do need to know that YOU are not alone. You fear criticism. So do I. You hate being judged. So do I. You secretly yearn for external validation. So do I. You carry the baggage of your childhood. So the hell do I.
It’s really not enough for me to simply write this for you though. It’s not good enough to sanitise this pseudo-vulnerability. If I’m going to help you on your journey, I need to reflect your experience for you to see. I need to let you in.
I can’t help you if I’m not being real, not allowing you to see my vulnerabilities. Because how can I help you if you can’t recognise yourself in my experiences, my vulnerabilities, my challenges, my wins. How would there be any relevance for you in my message?
So this will be an emotional video. But it’s me, in all my unvarnished emotional honesty. I’m letting you in. And if it’s too much for you to tolerate, too much sharing for you, then I’ll understand if you need to step off the bus. Because I’m NOT everyone’s cup of tea. I never have been. And that’s okay. It’s time I practice what I preach and embrace that!
And if you stick with me, I promise to do my best not to let you down again. No one likes to fail, least of all me. So I will use this moment to inspire me to do better. For myself and most of all for you. Because that’s why I’m here.
Evan Carmichael and me TOGETHER in New York. Got to be my favourite conversation with Evan so far, and not just for all laughter. In this video I call out Evan’s tendency to intellectualise tricky emotion and teach him some tricks for getting real, vulnerable and present - which somehow turns into the #DrTessCrapChallenge 😆
How would you feel if you’d already achieved your goals? How would it influence the choices you make? Your behaviour?
What if you consciously adopted the attitude to act as if your goals were already met?
What would that look like in terms of confidence, choices, behaviour, and the like-minded people you’d draw towards you?
It’s not about “fake it til you make it”. It’s not about “manifestation”. It’s about adopting a success mindset and letting that guide you.
How would you feel if you’d already achieved your goals? How would it influence the choices you make? Your behaviour?
Here are a few lessons I picked up from David Bowie, Joan Jett, and Hollywood.
In this chat with Evan Carmichael, we talk about how hard it can tolerate unpleasant emotions. We pick apart a recent conversation Evan had with New York media guru, Hank Norman, and how that changed his usual coaching style.
Your TEAM’S money mindset is just as important as your own. Perhaps even more so.
Do you have any idea what your team members think about charging their worth? Or your fee structure? Or your business' reliance on billable hours?
It's time you did!
PARENTS: Sick of entrepreneurs and motivational speakers telling your kids to ignore you?
Then you’d better listen to this!
My top 3 tips for parents of entrepreneurs: listen without judgement, be interested and curious, be supportive and encouraging.
There’s no room for letting your fear prevent the adventures of your entrepreneurial offspring!
I had never heard of energy mastery before meeting Jeanine Hofs, an Energy Master from the Netherlands. Jeanine's work is based on the Chinese philosophies of energy in all things. She works with her clients to identify their dominant energy type and how best to maximise it to achieve a more balanced life. In our conversation we discover some common ground, and we also chat about MY dominant energy type as measured by Jeanine's energy test, which you can try for free here: http://www.jeaninehofs.com/
I'm looking forward to chatting with Jeanine again one day soon!
I'm a psychologist and business owner with 20 years' experience, and I've seen my share of ups and downs of life as a business owner. I've seen most of what business ownership can throw at you, and I have a few secret weapons up my sleeve that I'm happy to share with you. Here are my top 3 tips!
My intensive 90 Day mentoring program will help you develop a Take No Prisoners approach to smashing your goals. This program is specifically for those in private practice in a mental health or allied health setting. Don't worry if you're in a different business setting ... Soon I'll something similar for all y'all!!
I've had a few conversations over the past week that have led me to wonder about bullying between professionals. I've also had the opportunity to compare how kids handle their peer relationships and what we can learn from them. Enjoy.
In this conversation with Evan Carmichael, we talk about just why Evan felt "weird" as a kid and why he saw a child psychologist, his experience with anxiety as a child and how this influences how he handles tricky emotions now as an adult. This is a great discussion, and gets a bit heated in parts as I challenge Evan to stop "sanitising" interactions to avoid rich emotional interactions when there's a risk of tricky emotions being involved. The conversation even involves Evan's wife Nina when we talk about Evan's interactions with others.
Why Am I A Business Mentor? ... The Number One Woman Who Has Inspired Me.
I've aspired to be a business owner since I was a little girl. Here's the story of why what I witnessed as a child inspires me to support business owners every day.
In this week's live show I talk about some of the challenges in business ownership when it comes to sharing news and plans with your team. Whether you're a sole business operator, or the head of a large team, this is for you.
Even positive change can be stressful. Treading carefully, leaning in, and pacing yourself.
#FindingProof Live Show.
In this (my 5oth!!) episode of the Finding Proof podcast I meet with the fabulous Peace Mitchell, co-founder of AusMumpreneur and the Women's Business School. Peace and her sister Katy have done more for women in business than any other organisation I can think of, in particular mums in business. If you're a woman, if you're a mum, if you're in business, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a lover of great stories ... this is a wonderful story and I can't wait to share it with you!
Thank you to the fabulous Robyn McKinnon for this heartfelt and very informative interview about perinatal loss, including her family's experience of losing her first son at 16 weeks gestation.
Robyn is a mental health social worker and hosts a Facebook group for mental health professionals working with perinatal loss. She is also coordinating a conference for later this year in Melbourne, with perinatal psychologist Bronwyn Leigh.
*** Trigger warning - this is sad in parts, and may cause some upset especially if you've experienced your own loss. x
Robyn on Facebook:
Robyn on the web:
In this session with Evan, we explore how he felt weird as a kid and how this feeds into how he views the world today. We talked about empathy, and the shields he puts up to protect himself emotionally because he is so empathic. We also talked about his deep-seated fear of disappointing others. A great chat. Join us.
I was invited recently to work alongside the wonderful Evan Carmichael as he embarks on his journey to build his YouTube audience from 1.7 million to 10 million subscribers.
What's my role?
I'll help Evan identify any potential psychological barriers that might tempt him to "play it small" along the way.
#EvanCarmichael is a successful Canadian #entrepreneur and author. His book "Your One Word" is one I highly recommend. He has almost two million subscribers on YouTube, but still faces many of the same "what if" and "should" challenges we all battle. We had lots of fun exploring these topics, and I'll be speaking with him again each month. The videos of these sessions will be available on Evan's YouTube channel, and my #FindingProof FB page.
In this first session, we talked about Evan's goal to solve one of the modern #business world's great problems - people not meeting their potential. Evan is a generous soul, driven to help entrepreneurs to achieve their goals and to believe in their own mission. His motto? "If you have the ability, you have the responsibility." And he sums it all up in a single word: #believe.
Join Evan and I as we share his journey towards ten million YouTube subscribers. I think there'll be some deep insights and lots of laughs along the way!
By trying to be all things to all people, we water down the strength of our own niche. This in turn waters down our core message, which means our ideal audience won't find us.
This podcast episode, recorded in a noisy cafe, was inspired by a great piece of feedback and advice given to me by Evan Carmichael last week.
Apologies for the sound quality, but this is a message worth sharing. #ImperfectAction in action!
Finding Proof Live Show Ep. 19 (10 Jan 2019)
Let me step you through the Top 3 things I said yes to in 2018 that were crazy on the surface.
Luckily I played scientist AND listened to my inner wise voice that was yelling at me to take these opportunities by the horns!
By saying yes to these opportunities, I claimed my seat on the express train for growth and new adventures.
You can easily overlook great opportunities. You can easily ignore your inner wisdom, or you gut feelings. But I encourage you to trust the instincts that have seen you right so far.
Consider the risks and the benefits, but sometimes you just need to say yes!
How can I advise you on the one hand to trust your instincts, while on the other hand tell you to be a scientist in your business? Easy. I incorporate both! How? By using a psychological strategy called "wise mind". It's easy, you can do it too.
Be a scientist in your business. Formulate a hypothesis, test it out, incorporate what you’ve learned. Repeat.
If you can't step back from the emotions sometimes and dispassionately assess what you've learned and how it will inform future directions, how will you grow?
This week's episode is from the Finding Proof Live Show (on Facebook each Thursday) ...
I had some incredible characters in my youth who still inspire me today. Here's how my Year 7 teacher, Mr Craven, still walks alongside me every day.
I'm often speaking with my mentoring clients about how finding a witness to past strengths can sometimes be the kind of proof needed to push through self-doubt. Give it a try.
(Sorry Mr Craven, I still tend to laugh at the naughty boys though!)
Wishing you the best for Christmas and 2019!
This week on my FINDING PROOF LIVE SHOW I spoke about some strategies that I use to prepare my business for the busy-ness and stress of Christmas. There are some mental traps that we all fall into at this time of year. I call them out and offer up some solutions for you.
This week's Finding Proof podcast saw me interviewing my wonderful friend, Dr Amy Talbot, who was last week announced as the inaugural Psychologist of the Year at the Allied Health Awards.
Amy talks about her journey to becoming a psychologist, the isolation that can come with being a young leader and business owner, and how she hopes her award will shine a light on the treatment of eating disorders.
This was a cracker of an episode of the FINDING PROOF LIVE SHOW. It followed a rather interesting week where I not only faced some astonishing criticism (which I only let sway me for 24 hours!), but I also received some incredible coincidental validation and encouragement, which only served to further embolden me!
It all comes down to fear of criticism. And acceptance that you WILL be judged if you're courageous enough to choose your voice over your comfort.
Understanding that you WILL be judged takes an abundance mindset and the ability to stay focused on your big picture plan. Having a social media presence will open you up for criticism from others, whether it's because they don't understand what you're doing, don't like what you're doing, or worry about what you're doing.
But social media is an increasingly important part of any modern business. Even the CEO of my profession's governing body has stated that social media must be at the forefront of our endeavours, in order to stay connected with our community.
In this episode, I step you through how I stay strong in the face of judgement and criticism, and I share some stories from others as well, so you can stay strong too.
Because you will be judged. It's a given. But that's okay.
Episode 36 of the Finding Proof Podcast sees me interviewing Clay Cockrell. Clay is a licensed clinical social worker, entrepreneur, actor, and theatre company owner. He's a disruptor too, bringing innovation to the world of therapy in the form of Walk & Talk and the Online Counselling Directory. Like anyone stepping outside the stereotype, he's faced his haters too, but took it all in his stride. It was my absolute joy to chat with him, and I'm hoping we'll catch up in person when I'm in New York next year!
This latest episode of the podcast shares with you Episode 11 of the FINDING PROOF LIVE SHOW that airs weekly on Facebook. I spoke about tapping into and honouring those hidden talents and knowledge bases that we all have, and we all overlook sometimes. What knowledge do you have that you take for granted? What skills do you possess that others would truly value if only you'd share them?
LIVE CHAT WITH GERDA MULLER - Back in September I attended the Australian Psychological Society's annual congress in Sydney and had the wonderful opportunity to chat with my dear friend and business mentor, Gerda Muller, about the importance of collegiality and collaboration in business. Having an abundance mindset makes collegiality a no-brainer.
This week on the Finding Proof podcast I'm interviewing my dear friend and all-round top Aussie bloke, musician and songwriter David Fuller. We go from laughter to darkness and back again. We share a glass of wine while our conversation covers his lifelong dedication to music, launching a music presence when you're not an 18 year old in a boy band, his years in the darkness of depression, and what saved him. One heck of a chat! Check out his tunes at www.davidfullermusic.com
In September, on RUOK Day I spoke on Facebook about the emotions that come with changing relationships in the workplace. This was recorded during a very intense period in my business, and I share it again now in the hope that you'll find some inspiration and encouragement if you're travelling tough terrain in your business too. #BossesHaveFeelingsToo
In this episode of the Finding Proof podcast I have a relaxed chat with my son about what it's like living with dyspraxia. Never heard of dyspraxia? Harry Potter actor, Daniel Radcliffe, has it. One of the Doctor's newest companions on Doctor Who also has it. It's a coordination disorder affecting on average one kid in every class, and often goes undiagnosed. You'll learn a bit about dyspraxia in this episode, but you'll also learn how my family and I managed to find our own proof of how courageous and creative we could be in the face of our struggles. And the good news is, we're a happier family for it!
Are you doing yourself a disservice by not allowing the time you need to think, refresh, recharge, and reboot? Come on, as a business owner, creative, or entrepreneur you deserve better than that. You need creative solutions to your business dilemmas. Make sure you take the time you need. Your ideas are too precious to be lost to busy-ness!
What are the emotions involved in leaving a job? How do you leave with your dignity intact and your reputation in mind? I'll share a couple of personal stories (not my best moments in some cases) to help you find your own evidence to courageously leap from one job to the next without being labelled an arsehole! Meanwhile, in case you missed it, the intense emotional rollercoaster of being an employer when staff leave was this week's topic on the Finding Proof live show on FB. Check it out.
(p.s. My apologies for the sound quality, and my sincere thanks to Danielle Kessler of 2MarketMedia for doing her level best over the past couple of days to tidy up the worst of it so I could publish this week as planned. Superstar!)
What excuses do you hear yourself saying time and again? Mine is "I don't have time". When you think about it, that's ridiculous. I have the same 24 hours as anyone else. For me to achieve my goals, I have had to own that nonsense excuse and challenge the hell out of it. Want to know how I did it? Listen on, my friends.
In this episode of the Finding Proof podcast, I'll talk you through just what Finding Proof is all about and where it came from. I'll also give you a couple of little hints to start you on your way towards finding proof of your own incredible awesomeness!
Did you notice that the name of this podcast has changed? What's it all about, and how does it relate to you? Have a listen and I'll explain as we make the transition from Quiet Confidence to Finding Proof.
On paper you’re already good enough. So what’s stopping you? Fear! Here’s the number one thing you need to do to burst through fear and get to your next level. (Please excuse the audio quality, but I couldn’t wait to share this with you.)
We can’t know all the answers all the time. Ask for support, guidance, and mentoring. You’d be surprised how often people are willing to help. And don’t be afraid to let the authentic silly you out of its box sometimes!
Great friendships are a little like the ocean: always there, but the tide comes and goes. By trusting the golden thread of connection, and listening to our inner wisdom in this regard, we can influence that tide.
Related to the earlier episode where I remind you that you’re not actually a mind-reader, in this episode I remind you that neither is anyone else. How would your relationships improve if you stopped assuming others knew how you were feeling? The key is to communicate. Ask, tell, listen, but never assume!
Stop listening to your inner critic. Stop comparing yourself to others. Find what inspires you, who inspires, and look inward to draw on your uniqueness. Then you can tell that inner critic to shut up!