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Tessa and Elliot Argue

Tessa and Elliot Argue

By Tessa and Elliot

Like to learn about the crazy stuff that happened this week? Tessa and Elliot Argue finds bizarre news headlines and stories to share with each other, while giving you a look into their marriage.
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Which Disney couple are we?

Tessa and Elliot ArgueDec 01, 2019

00:00
17:17
The time has come,' the Walrus said,
Jul 25, 202238:06
Velveeta releases a cheese-scented nail polish

Velveeta releases a cheese-scented nail polish

We also talk about Google AIs coming to take over, weird things we do as a couple, and vabbing (it's pretty terrible).

Jul 10, 202233:16
Man who complained he had 'adult potato' thrown at his head

Man who complained he had 'adult potato' thrown at his head

We also talk about mysterious rockets crashing into the Moon, Justin Timberlake apologizing, and Minority Report.

Jul 03, 202233:18
Man Says He Spent $8,500 a Year on Pepsi Addiction

Man Says He Spent $8,500 a Year on Pepsi Addiction

It's episode 175!

Is this the end of the podcast? Despite my attempts to make it so probably not.

Jun 26, 202233:40
Exorcists complain too many possessed people to handle

Exorcists complain too many possessed people to handle

Once again we are back with Michelle, to actually go over some news headlines this week.

Jun 19, 202241:42
Woman approved for affordable house, 29 years after applying

Woman approved for affordable house, 29 years after applying

Michelle is back, and we have a huge pile of news headlines to get to this week!

Jun 12, 202232:50
Talking walls

Talking walls

What would a conversation be like between you and the walls of your room, if you were in the fifth grade? Well we have the answer, as we once again delve into a notebook Elliot's mother found while cleaning his childhood home. There's also a poem about dreams, as well as an essay about what Elliot did on winter break, that is 100% untrue.

Jun 05, 202223:20
Occult club rejected after complaint it may summon Satan

Occult club rejected after complaint it may summon Satan

We also talk about the church of the flying spaghetti monster!

May 29, 202230:39
Dolly Parton to star in a musical on TikTok about Taco Bell's Mexican pizza

Dolly Parton to star in a musical on TikTok about Taco Bell's Mexican pizza

We also talk about balding men, cutting grass, and inappropriate Wordle solutions.

May 22, 202236:56
What if hair could talk?

What if hair could talk?

My mom recently stumbled upon an old grade school notebook I had. Inside were writing scenarios that are straight gold. What are a couple of the samples about you ask? What if you could buy shoes for walking up walls? What if balls were square? Good stuff.

May 15, 202235:26
Heads up, we get super liberal this week

Heads up, we get super liberal this week

You've been warned. I actually cut most of the hard core stuff Tessa spouted for you snowflakes.

May 08, 202237:25
Woman marries pet cat in bid to stop landlord separating them

Woman marries pet cat in bid to stop landlord separating them

We also try Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew. It goes about how you'd expect.

May 01, 202229:29
Robber asked victim to ‘pinky promise’ not to report it

Robber asked victim to ‘pinky promise’ not to report it

If this isn't our longest episode ever, it's certainly close. It's also the first episode that has had zero content editing done. Usually I'll do a little touch up here or there to get rid of the long pauses, but because I'm finishing this up about a half hour before my bedtime the night before release I've only made sure all the mic levels were ok. Please enjoy.

Apr 24, 202252:39
Man who paid $2.9m for NFT of first tweet set to lose almost $2.9m

Man who paid $2.9m for NFT of first tweet set to lose almost $2.9m

Tessa also shares the most bizarre item brought to school for show and tell.

Apr 17, 202235:43
Romance novelist who wrote ‘How to Murder Your Husband’ goes on trial in shooting of spouse

Romance novelist who wrote ‘How to Murder Your Husband’ goes on trial in shooting of spouse

We are back with another episode of weird news headlines from the week.

Apr 10, 202229:58
The one where we take turns crying

The one where we take turns crying

Things get a bit emotional this week as Michelle joins us to play Let's Get Deep.

Apr 03, 202237:47
Miami spent $350,000 on new park lights, the park closes at sundown

Miami spent $350,000 on new park lights, the park closes at sundown

We are also shocked to learn the Columbus ranks pretty highly in the best pizza town contest. There's also talk of cranes vs crocs, the winner was also surprising.

Mar 27, 202246:46
A snake is eyed as the culprit in man's death until cops realize it can't pull a trigger

A snake is eyed as the culprit in man's death until cops realize it can't pull a trigger

Disney adults, Mike Tyson, and pickles also make our list of topics this week.

Mar 20, 202229:15
We made top 5 lists
Mar 13, 202235:51
Student has legs amputated after eating leftover noodles

Student has legs amputated after eating leftover noodles

We also talk about which of our friends would help us cover up a murder, and what Elliot could do in order to seduce Tessa.

Mar 06, 202236:26
Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time

Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time

Other stories include 500 pound bears, women not being allowed to sit in front seats of cars, and naked men hiding in cars. Just to name a few topics. As always thanks for listening.

Feb 27, 202236:20
Biblically accurate angels, Google it

Biblically accurate angels, Google it

Do yourself a favor and good biblically accurate angels before listening, to help get a sense of what I was talking about this week on the podcast. We also talk of the origin of strawberry flavored milk, it's pretty nasty.

Also, we don't mention it, but today's episode marks our 3-year anniversary of starting the podcast. As always, thanks for giving it a listen, and here's to 3 more years. 

Feb 20, 202238:01
Kesha, Who Once Had Sex With A Ghost, Will Now Hunt Ghosts For Discovery+

Kesha, Who Once Had Sex With A Ghost, Will Now Hunt Ghosts For Discovery+

You have to listen close, but Tessa's one liners this week are pretty good. We are once again Michelle joins us to go through headlines from the news that made us laugh. Elliot also reads a letter he wrote to Michelle in 2006, and finally Michelle reads of a Tinder profile she's stumbled upon. 

Feb 13, 202244:16
My dad and I pose nude together on OnlyFans — and we make a fortune

My dad and I pose nude together on OnlyFans — and we make a fortune

Other topics this week include bologna face masks, eating your finger nails, and Tessa telling me I get butt hurt about my dad.

Feb 06, 202238:07
Hasidic Jewish sects travel with blindfolds to prevent young men from seeing immodestly clad women

Hasidic Jewish sects travel with blindfolds to prevent young men from seeing immodestly clad women

We are back with Michelle and back to sharing weird news headlines we've recently come across. 

Jan 30, 202235:51
Man may never be able to use his penis again after his partner "accidentally" deployed expanding foam inside his urethra

Man may never be able to use his penis again after his partner "accidentally" deployed expanding foam inside his urethra

Not a lot of stories this week, but we are joined once again by Michelle> I felt like the tangents were pretty good this week.

Jan 23, 202240:07
Residents urge Ann Arbor officials to decriminalize glue sniffing

Residents urge Ann Arbor officials to decriminalize glue sniffing

Can you guess which part of the podcast I had to make a big cut because I actually started to piss my wife off?

Jan 16, 202231:08
Are cats psychopaths? New research says, probably

Are cats psychopaths? New research says, probably

Thanks as always, see ya next week.

Jan 09, 202240:25
Dwayne Johnson Explains Why He Pees in Water Bottles During Workouts

Dwayne Johnson Explains Why He Pees in Water Bottles During Workouts

While not quiet to three full years of Tessa and Elliot Argue, we are celebrating 150 episodes this week. Thanks for listening.

Jan 02, 202235:46
We get deep, with Michelle

We get deep, with Michelle

We had Michelle back again, this time to play Let's Get Deep. 

Dec 26, 202135:12
Passenger claims woman breastfed cat on-board flight

Passenger claims woman breastfed cat on-board flight

Hey this came out on time this week. Thanks for catching it last week Jeff! Also stay after the end song for a post credits thing from Tessa.

Dec 19, 202134:46
Let's Get Deep, the card game

Let's Get Deep, the card game

This week Tessa and Elliot play the card game Let's Get Deep. It's not really a game, and Elliot makes Tessa cry.

Dec 12, 202132:59
Do you know these new age dating terms?

Do you know these new age dating terms?

We were out of town last week, but we brought our podcasting stuff with us, and decided to record an episode with my cousin Aubree and her husband Cody. A good time was had by all, except Tessa who was chewing on ice cubes for most of the episode.

Dec 05, 202136:60
Fans Petition ‘Wicked’ Producers to Not Cast James Corden in Movie Adaptation

Fans Petition ‘Wicked’ Producers to Not Cast James Corden in Movie Adaptation

Come listen to Tessa explain why the Ducktales movie is the reason she's afraid of scorpions. 

Nov 28, 202132:27
Thanksgiving horror stories

Thanksgiving horror stories

We take a break from our usual format to bring you a Thanksgiving themed episode, and there's plenty of arguing to be had.

Nov 21, 202142:49
Arby's Is Launching a French Fry Flavored Vodka

Arby's Is Launching a French Fry Flavored Vodka

I found the trailer I was talking about this week (well kinda). I definitely know the segment I was talking about was in a full length trailer, but I found a trailer clip from tv that has the clip in it. Is it worth your time to see what I was talking about? No.

ANyway thanks for listening, come back next week.

Nov 14, 202134:55
Man arrested for trying to rob Florida Waffle House with finger guns
Nov 07, 202142:54
Meet the 15-year-old blind quarterback hoping to reach the NFL

Meet the 15-year-old blind quarterback hoping to reach the NFL

As always, thanks for listening, tell a friend about the show.

Oct 31, 202134:33
Officials hope to capture loose zebras with new plan involving even more zebras
Oct 24, 202146:01
Google is the most searched word on Bing

Google is the most searched word on Bing

Let me know if you read this.

Oct 17, 202140:35
40% of people would have sex with a robot, study exclaims

40% of people would have sex with a robot, study exclaims

As always, thanks for listening

Oct 10, 202145:53
Bishop quits church after falling in love with satanic erotica writer

Bishop quits church after falling in love with satanic erotica writer

Michelle stops by and brings a letter I wrote to her back when we were in college (somewhere around 2006) and we have a good laugh at my expense. Then we get back to funny news headlines we've found.

Oct 03, 202149:13
No catchy title this week

No catchy title this week

Can't find the list of news stories I used, refuse to re-listen to the episode to find one, so this is what you get.

Sep 26, 202125:54
The case of the Balloon Man

The case of the Balloon Man

This week we try out some two minute mysteries.

Sep 19, 202137:29
Did this really happen?

Did this really happen?

We have Michelle back to play a new game called, did this really happen?

Sep 12, 202141:04
OnlyFans model says naked strip videos are what 'God wants her to do'

OnlyFans model says naked strip videos are what 'God wants her to do'

Thanks for listening

Sep 05, 202146:44
AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage

AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage

Stay past the closing song for bonus content!

Aug 29, 202144:44
Man’s handwriting was so bad bank staff didn’t know he was trying to rob them

Man’s handwriting was so bad bank staff didn’t know he was trying to rob them

No more Michelle! Back to just the two of us being morons.

Aug 22, 202137:21
Am I the A-hole, again

Am I the A-hole, again

Michelle didn't take the hint, so she stuck around last week and recorded another episode with us, this time looking at some am I the asshole reddit threads.

Aug 15, 202141:20
Brothers killed by train in Charlotte were mourning 3rd brother struck at same spot last week

Brothers killed by train in Charlotte were mourning 3rd brother struck at same spot last week

How hard did the girls laugh about this headline this week? More than you should, that's for sure. This week Michelle joins us to talk about wierd news headlines.

Aug 08, 202146:12