The Desi Condition

The hosts Tanushree and Anu delve into the profound impact of emotional immaturity within South Asian families. Building on their previous discussion, the overarching questions guide the exploration into the depths of emotional immaturity, specifically how it manifests in South Asian parenting. The hosts dissect cultural collectivism, enmeshment, and the intricate dynamics within mother-son relationships versus those with the oldest daughter. They unravel habits ingrained in South Asian parenting, referencing unsupportive social emotion strategies, such as suppressing emotions for the sake of harmony.

They further scrutinize emotional incest, the choosing of favorites, and the lack of privacy between parents and children. They ponder the definition of emotional maturity versus immaturity, and explore the concepts of true self and role self within the context of culture. Key traits of emotionally mature individuals are highlighted, providing actionable items for listeners to identify and foster emotional maturity within themselves and those around them.

The hosts address the challenge of breaking family patterns, emphasizing the importance of distinguishing between relatedness and relationships.

They wrap up with a powerful conclusion, urging listeners to detach from expectations and see their parents for who they truly are, freeing themselves from the chains of emotional immaturity.

In this thought-provoking podcast episode, we delve into the complex world of emotional immaturity and its profound impact on South Asian families and their children. Drawing inspiration from Lindsay C. Gibson's book, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents," we explore the history, cultural context, and real-life stories that illuminate the struggles and triumphs of individuals raised by emotionally immature parents. We delve deep into the intricate world of South Asian parenting and uncover the roots of emotional immaturity within these families. Our leading question takes us on a journey through cultural norms, historical influences, and the impact on the wellness and socialization of South Asian children. Our exploration begins with a critical look at South Asian parenting through the lens of emotional availability and connection. We question the essence of "good parenting" and the extent to which emotional needs are acknowledged in this culture. We examine the significance of emotional intimacy in parent-child relationships and dissect what successful parenting looks like in South Asian households. The legacy of Partition in 1947 casts a long shadow on mental health and emotional expression in South Asia. We explore how the upheaval disrupted healthcare services, and the silence of mental health professionals had lasting consequences. We introduce the ancient Sanskrit text Natyasastra and its "rasa" theory, which forms the basis of the Indian approach to emotions. Shifting our focus to parental emotion socialization, we delve into strategies used by South Asian parents, ranging from problem-focused and emotion-focused reactions to non-supportive methods like punitive reactions, minimization reactions, and distress reactions. We contemplate the profound implications of these emotional dynamics, including the development of internalizers and externalizers in adult children.

Sources to publications referenced in the episode can be found on tdcpodcast.com

Welcome back to The Desi Condition! After a four month hiatus for the summer, we are back with new episodes. This time, Anu and Tanushree speak with horror filmmaker Anisha Savan about her third short film, I'll Never Be Alive Again. Inspired by themes of COVID-related depression, OCD, guilt, and grief, Anisha uses filmmaking to tell the story of a zombie attempting to come back to life. Though fantastical, viewers may find themes of hopelessness and a dystopian future that feels closer than comfort. Moreover, Anisha uses the film to interrogate the question of whether forgiveness is possible after committing the unthinkable. In the second half of the episode, Anisha speaks to her creative journey with filmmaking. She shares personal influences and thoughts on the future of South Asian representation in horror. Anisha can be found: IG: @anishasavan, @neveralive_film Website: anishasavan.com

"Platonic love is the one we choose. That's why it feels so devastating when we lose it."

This episode is a throwback to a fan favorite. First published in March 2019 (pre-pandemic!) and always in TDC history's top five, this episode is a collection of stories about the heartbreak of an ending friendship. Though submissions came from across the country and around the world,  somehow, the stories tie together with common themes such as mental health, family, socioeconomic status, trauma, and expectations, creating a greater narrative on heartbreak that is tragic, yet relatable.

Special thanks to Ravi (Ravi Ray Audio), who remastered the episode, and the original guests, who were willing to bravely re-open wounds to provide updates on their story years afterwards.

- Tanushree

What's up bondhus? In this episode we flip the script and interview Tanushree. She talks about why she created The Desi Condition, how she developed the brand, and how it has impacted her life. She also provides career advice, and spills the tea on her wacky dreams. Did you know Tanushree has dreams of throwing a South Asian Woodstock? Tune in to this special episode. New season starts on September 15.

We’re here to deliver the second installment of our magical and insightful conversation with the legendary Sajeeb Saha, AKA Jai Wolf! In this episode, Sajeeb dives into everything from his musical influences and inspiration, to the story behind the name Jai Wolf. He provides insight into his creative process, describing one that pulls from many different worlds and experiences to evoke intense emotions and to produce music with movie-inspired theatricality. He also explains how he tries to make his live shows authentically him, placing an emphasis on world-building. He largely credits creative genius and hip-hop visionary Kanye West for his 808s-era visceral and undeniable originality as influential to his music. Sajeeb recounts his love for Graduation and even credits Kanye-inspired beats and synth patterns as being emulated in his track, “Indian Summer.”

The conversation takes an amusing turn as Tanushree, and Ravi ask Sajeeb fun questions about his Bengali heritage, cats, and goals for the future. Sajeeb fondly reminisces how fate led him to become a full-time cat dad in 2020. The episode ends with Sajeeb offering words of advice to South Asian creatives attempting to find their way out of adversity and/or to find motivation. If you enjoyed our last installment, you won’t want to miss this dreamy and delightful second half!

What happens when you mix South Asian Bengali and EDM artistry into one? You get the legendary Jai Wolf! In part 1 of a 2-episode installment, Tanushree and Ravi interview the Bangladeshi-born and NYC-bred Sajeeb Saha. They discuss the origins of Jai Wolf, and how historically significant and integral music and art are to South Asian culture. Sajeeb recounts how he broke into the world of electronic music with a classical music background and how his South Asian Bengali identity found its way into his music, leading to the birth of “Indian Summer.” He discusses his artistic evolution and the importance of figuring out who you are as an artist to overcome creative roadblocks and to define what “commercial success” means. In this insightful conversation, Tanushree, Ravi, and Sajeeb dive into the impact of the “immigrant struggle,” including the expectations on South Asian artists and creatives passed on by Desi parents advocating for stable, STEM careers. They explore South Asian representation in the music and entertainment industries and the lackluster South Asian solidarity for/amongst creatives, comedians and artists. Sajeeb credits competitiveness and tribal mentality dating back to colonialism as the foundation for this phenomenon, and the conversation takes a hopeful turn as the three discuss how immigration has helped South Asians become more supportive of one another. The episode ends with Sajeeb and our hosts musing over the hopes of an emergence of a community coming together to form a larger support system for South Asian creatives and artists in the near future

Did you know grocery stores use census data to stock their shelves?

In this episode, Kartik and Tanushree talk about the importance of civic engagement including why it's important to fill out the census, who can do it, and why we should all vote. We also explore the effect that partaking in civic duties can have on mental health, particularly during this pivotal moment in the U.S's political history. Civic engagement can help you to discover your own voice and empower you to create change during these times. We discuss how it affects every aspect of your life, and how every small step counts.