The Grownup Millennial

FULL TITLE:  Is there a sex recession among Millennials? : Getting it on in a digital world

Sex... a topic that is taboo for many, especially when you're growing up in the Caribbean.

How have our preconceptions about sex and our education or miseducation in our teen years affected our current ideas of sex? My guest (and dear friend), Patrice and I talk about her own evolution of the definition of sex, and how it factors into marriage and the church.

If you do a quick Google search for millennials and sex the first articles you will find all state the same thing - millennials are having less sex than any other generation.  In a more connected world, have we become more disconnected with each other? How are we defining sex? Are these relations being mediated by digital tools?

Patrice and I talk about it all (or almost all, we only had about 30 minutes guys!). Listen to this episode and let us know what you think in the comments section :).

This episode came about after an evening of conversation with my dear friend - Abigail. This episode was not scripted in any way and my notes pretty much went out the window after the first question. This discussion with Abigail felt as comfortable as putting on your favourite sweatshirt. I hope you'll find it as casual, frank, honest and informative as I did, 

Abigail and I discuss the growing pressures for Millennials to couple up and how age-old notions of relationships haunt us - especially women, who are somehow seen as less successful or incomplete without a partner.  Abigail also speaks candidly about some of the challenges of dating in the Caribbean, and I share a weird story about an experience I had a million years ago regarding infidelity. 

DISCLAIMER: The audio levels fluctuate throughout this episode. Tried our best to remedy the issues but there are still some random fluctuations. 

Quite a few podcast listeners requested this topic, is it better to rent or to buy a house? Apart from the fact that [some] Millennials probably cannot afford to purchase a home, our preferences will also dictate what we choose to do. 

This was an open discussion with my guest, Antoine Martel - licensed real estate agent, entrepreneur and real estate investor - about the pros and cons for renting and buying, and what influences our decision to do either. Antoine encourages listeners to "change your  definition of home" in order to make the decision that is best for you. 

If you're certain about what your long-term housing solution will look like or if you have no clue, this podcast is for you! 

Since Antoine is also an investor we spoke about these things too:

- financial wellness

- how much of our income we should spend on housing

- how much of our income we should invest 

- what is equity, how do you build it and why its important

- making money work for you 

In this episode of the podcast, I share much of my own struggles with money, and my mindset about money. I had ABSOLUTELY NO SHOW NOTES for this episode, I just felt so passionate about the subject and wanted to speak from the heart (there may be a few TMI moments in there, sorry!). 

A few things I discussed:

- How I was socialized to think about money and how it affects my current relationship with money

- [Basically] a review of Jen Sincero's "How to be a Badass", specifically the chapter on money

- What Dale Carnegie had to say about worth in his book: "How to make friends and influence people"

- Why changing your money mindset will change your life

Things I didn't say:

- I said I attended the entrepreneurship seminar, but I didn't say it was a scam (chose to focus on the positive takeaways)

- I am still a work in progress and still need to work very hard on confidence and shifting my money mindset

= Jen Sincero and I are best friends in my head

Happy Listening ... then let's make some money! 

 "No relationship is going to come between me and me knowing myself and developing myself" 

How do you define "relationship"? How should a relationship serve you? 

Most times we believe a relationship should look a certain way and each party needs to have certain roles but we've largely adopted these standards from society. What would happen if we created our own? That's what my next guest on the podcast, Chereese, is encouraging us to do. 

Nothing in life is perfect, so we can't expect a perfect relationship. Relationships are messy and weird and complicated. But, if both parties are on the same page with the definition of a relationship...then it just works. 

Listen to this interview about Chereese's path away from what was considered normal to creating a new normal and finding bliss in the mix. 

Some great things we spoke about (besides the whole interview lol) : 

• maintaining individuality in a relationship 
• your relationship doesn't have to look like anybody else's 
• does your relationship need to be validated? (by marriage, by others?) 

This time we have a DOUBLE WHAMMY! Two perspectives from married people on what it means to be married in a time considered "very difficult" for dating and cultivating relationships. 

IN THIS EPISODE:

- One couple speaks about how their online dating journey went from hopeless to married in under a year

- The challenges of dating as s single mother 

- Two perspectives on the "isolation" that comes with being a married millennial

- The difficulties of finding love in a new city

WARNING: I probably said "dismal" 50 times this episode, so be prepared for that. 

Listen and leave a comment. 

“Maybe your list is wrong” - just one of my favourite moments from this episode. I know I say this a lot but, this is probably my favourite one yet! You have to listen to the whole thing, no skipping, no pausing, you have to be all in - or you could miss an important nugget. This whole interview was FLAMES. 

Usually when we talk about issues with finding suitable partners or the challenges of dating in the 21st century, we’re referring to women. We assume that men have it easier and they’re just coasting by until they choose to settle, but that may not be the case for everyone.

Kemoi talked to me about general challenges facing dating millennials, his own experiences and gave us all a new perspective on how to manage relationships - looking at the core and periphery. 

Listen and leave a comment1 

We've all read/ heard that it is a very difficult time for Millennials to find suitable partners right now.  But does this ring true for everyone? Most times when we have conversations about relationships we limit it to heterosexual, monogamous relations. 

But, I endeavour to always have a range of perspectives at the table (or over the microphone) at all times so we can  get a true sense of reality. So, for this episode I spoke with someone who expands what we may conceive as reality. In this candid chat, we talk about general issues with the Millennial generation and his experiences with dating in a heteronormative society.  

..and it so happens to be PRIDE month. May we all elevate our concepts of reality and remember that #lovewins (once we can find it).

Dating in the 21st Century should be easier ... in theory. We're more connected than we've ever been and technology certainly helps in getting to know someone, or does it?

In this series I talk to a variety of millennials (coupled and uncoupled) about their experiences with finding love and companionship in the "Facebook era". 

The very first episode was a casual chat with Sanique and Candiese two pretty accomplished professionals who spoke about everything from resigning to a life with dozens of cats to unsolicited cat calls and d*ck pics. 

Listen up, leave a comment, and be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode in the series. 

Is dating in the 21st Century really that hard? We'll find out. 

Instagram is pretty much a staple in our social media diet at this point. There is so much good that can come from it. People make a living from it, people  get to share their work with the world in ways unimaginable and I get to really connect with readers and listeners. 

But… we can easily become obsessed with Instagram. Obsessed with checking it every few minutes, obsessed with our interactions on the platform, obsessed with our followers, obsessed with other people’s lives. It is very easy to get caught in this Instagram spiral. 

In this casual chat, I am pretty open about my own experiences with IG and why I decided to dial back (you’ll want to hear this!) and a few ways we can disconnect from Instagram and reconnect to our reality. 

Let’s not forget to live in the moment, while trying to document moments for Instagram.

As you might have heard in the very first installation of the series, time management is essential to success as a small business entrepreneur. 

Tracey-Ann Mullings, skin care specialist, marketing and communications professional and owner of Skin By Trace, talks to us about how she "juggles" (literally her words) having a demanding 9-5 while still ensuring she meets the needs of her small business clientele. 

As a fairly new entrepreneur (at the time of the interview, she would have been in business for 7 months), Tracey elaborates on some of her challenges and discusses the work she knows is inevitable for the business to be successful. 

After completing her masters in the fall of 2018, she decided to take a break from conventional employment, thus Skin By Trace was born. 

Listen to this interview riddled with motivational gems, struggles, sheer luck and pockets of success. 

Follow Skin by Trace:

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skinbytrace/

- Twitter : https://twitter.com/SkinByTrace

For millennials the "side hustle" seems to be an escape from the 9-5. It is a space where you can do what you're really passionate about, and actually get paid for it !

Sade Rhone started the "I Love Sweetness" line of coffee scrubs in 2016. Her product is now in pharmacies and beauty stores all across Jamaica. She talks to us about carving out time to work on her mini empire while managing a 9-5 and other responsibilities. 

She delves into all the things aspiring side hustle entrepreneurs need to know; from marketing, to research, to the big "M" word that nobody wants to talk about - money. 

Listen to the very first part of the Science of the Side Hustle series, and then check out I Love Sweetness on all these platforms:

-  Website: https://www.ilovesweetness.com/

-  Twitter: @welovesweetness

-   Instagram: @ilovesweetness

-   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ILOVESWEETNESS/

At the beginning of each episode, I want you (yes you) to also check-in with yourself by answering the following questions:

- How are you feeling today?

- What are you thankful for today?

- What is your favourite quote right now?

- Which song is on repeat on your playlist?

We are all trying to be better at managing our resources: especially money! This challenge is a simple, fun way for us to take charge of our finances so we can balance our bank accounts to balance our lives. 

Will you take the challenge?

During this episode I made references to the following:

- The Minimalists : https://www.theminimalists.com/

- Marie Kondo : https://konmari.com/

- "Act Your Wage" : https://www.thegrownupmillennial.com/blog/act-your-wage

- "Do you really need that?: How to spend responsibly" : https://www.thegrownupmillennial.com/blog/do-you-really-need-that-how-to-spend-responsibly

Everyone loves to set New Year's resolutions. How else will we be able to map out our plans for the year? There is a better solution ! I've found it and now I'm sharing it with you!

I also mentioned this article : "Setting and Achieving Goals: A Cheat Sheet" - https://www.thegrownupmillennial.com/blog/settingandachievinggoals

You can find my four intentions for the year here (and you can also use the template and create your own!) - https://www.thegrownupmillennial.com/blog/what-are-your-2019-goals-fill-them-in

No matter how successful we are, no matter how many goals we achieve we immediately begin to think about what's next. 

We've achieved...now what?

We've failed...now what?

Thinking about "the next" can bring so much anxiety, disappointment and confusion, but it doesn't have to be this way. 

In this solo-cast I go into some personal stories of my own struggles with  forward-thinking and how I have now come to embrace this idea of "what's next". 

Articles I mentioned:

- 2019 Reading List : https://www.thegrownupmillennial.com/blog/2019readinglist

- Is this my final form? : https://www.thegrownupmillennial.com/blog/isthismyfinalform

Books I mentioned:

- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a [bleep] : https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

-The Defining Decade: https://www.amazon.com/Defining-Decade-Your-Twenties-Matter/dp/0446561754/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1546449698&sr=1-1&keywords=the+defining+decade