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The List with Paul and Lori

The List with Paul and Lori

By Paul & Lori Lender 2020
A weekly rundown of the list of topics a middle aged couple decided they wanted to discuss. Think something should be on the list? Leave us a message about it!
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Episode Fifty - It's a Happy Birthday Ending
Grab a drink and a snack because this ended up being a long episode. Getting into view mail leads us to discussing how we shower.  Paul goes middle out.  Lori goes top to bottom.  Paul thinks about opening a pubic grooming salon. Next up, we review celebrities turning 50 with commentary on what we actually think of said celebrities. Then things get a bit sideways because the show notes for the rest of the week were put together after a few beers.  So, we discuss what the Hobbit might be like as a porno, what we would do for each other if we were dying.  Handjobs, yes. Buttseggs, no.  Threesome, maybe, but somebody is going to be disappointed because Lori still doesn't know what kind of women Paul finds attractive. So yeah, Happy Birthday to Paul!
39:20
January 21, 2022
Episode Forty Nine - Megan Fox Bleeds for Love
Quick hit on view mailer from some Superfans before the audio goes nuts.  Apologies to your eardrums for that. The show quickly turns into Appliance Talk Radio as we review our fixed dishwasher and new dryer.  Nothing wet in this house anymore....well... Paul talks about soap.  How long do you use a bar of soap before you throw it away or mash it into the next bar.  This leads to whether or not we use a wash cloth to clean ourselves.  One of us does, one doesn't.  Any guesses on who is the dirty, dirty person here.  So, what do you do - wash cloth or just lather up with the bar? Megan Fox loves MGK and they drink blood to get engaged.  Seems a bit much. Lori brings up her super depressing TikTok feed - mad teachers, period programs.  Paul tells her TikTok should be a happy place full of thirst traps doing cosplay and woodworking. And.....things wrap up with a discussion about Paul turning 50 and if he's going to take time to reflect on that.  So, you're homework for the week Let us know if you're in England Do you use a wash cloth or just lather up with the bar of soap Any best wishes for Paul on his 50th Birthday since next week will be the Birthday Show! Comment, like and subscribe!
37:37
January 14, 2022
Episode Forty Eight - This Episode Will Melt If You Buy It Too Soon
First episode of 2022 is in the books!  Kick things off with a short discussion on cold weather before getting into our listener count update.  From there it is on to our favorite topics - broken appliances and Pete Davidson. First we recap NYE with Superfan Bob, playing games and watching Miley Cyrus and Pete Davidson party in Miami. Then I get into the ever growing pile of broken appliances in my house - dryer, dishwasher and 3D printer. Finally we wrap things up with a discussion about how Paul has to buy frozen things at the last possible moment when shopping because they start to melt as soon as they come out of the freezer. Which leads to one of two topics we're asking listeners to weigh in on this week - What's worse (better?) - awkward silence or awkward conversation Does it matter how soon you put your frozen food in your grocery cart? Leave a comment, hit the link below to send a voicemail, and be sure to subscribe on Spotify or where ever you listen to podcasts!
26:55
January 07, 2022
Episode Forty Seven - Ain't No Party Like a Pete Davidson NYE Party!
Oh man, we're back after a week off to celebrate Christmas and kick CoVID's ass.  It tore through our inner circle from Christmas Eve and into the middle of this week but we're back.  Get vax'd.  I'm certain that is why were all gifted the short version. So yeah, we recap Christmas, our wedding anniversary and CoVID.  There was some viewer mail but I lost it so I do my best to share the spirit of the message as I recall it.  After that, Lori wonders why I keep telling our friends about this podcast and then we get into Pete Davidson.  Throwing his name in the title does seem to help our SEO.   The show wraps up with a game of "would you rather" and share a list of things reportedly stuff in any of the five bodily orifices this year as reported by the Consumer Safety Commmion's Public documents.  Wrecked him?  Damn, near killed him. See you in 2022!
37:33
December 31, 2021
Episode Forty Six - Pete Davidson's Unrealistic 10" Christmas List
Right out of the gate - lingerie for men?  Does any straight woman out there want to see her man's junk behind some mesh boxers? We get into view feedback.  The Bullshit Meter on cilantro seems to be somewhat split.  Super Fan Bob calls in to share his opinion on the topic and then calls again to create his own "Man on Street" segment.  I think it's a winner.   Also getting mixed feedback was the appliance reviews.  We'll see where it goes because my propane grill died this week and is going to need replaced. Lori gets into her Pete Davidson fetish.  We review a Reddit list of 13 reasons why women think he's hot.  I had no idea Ariana Grande said he was packing 10". And finally....Lori pulls up her TikTok and gets us discussing our "Unrealistic Christmas List".  She almost nails mine but leaves out the the threesome.  I do pretty good job when she puts me on the spot to come up with a list for her.
33:09
December 17, 2021
Episode Forty Five - Is That a Maytag Washer in Your Pants or are You Just Happy to See Me?
We're back on our regular schedule!  While Episode Forty Four was reviewed as "riveting", I think you'll find this one is even better! We kick it off with our first listener voicemail from none other than Super Fan Bob!  I'll be making some sound board bites from that.   Then I take over and spend far too long talking about our new washer and why I don't share bad news on social media.  *hugs* Lori gives the morbid news on the school shooter situation in Michigan and I bring up Josh Duggar. Important question of the week - is cilantro bullshit? Oh yeah, somebody set the Fox News Christmas Tree on fire.
33:16
December 10, 2021
Episode Forty Four - Nutcracker Week
Not wanting to go two weeks without a show so we squeezed in this episode on a Monday night.   Probably should have just gone two weeks without a show. It's Nutcracker week and that means lots of ballet for the entire house.  The girl performs, Lori is a stage mom and I have a couple of performances to photograph.  It's a rough one coming right after a week of Thanksgiving and family time. Speaking of Thanksgiving, we review Friends-giving and learn that Lori is becoming a feminist icon.  I point out we buy too much beer and never drink it.  There was food.  Steve from Blue's Clues was in the parade. Pancakes vs waffles.  Waffles aren't quite bullshit but they come close. We'll be back next Thursday with our regular programming after this crazy week gets over!
17:12
November 29, 2021
Episode Forty Three - Thanksgiving is Bullshit
This might be the episode where Paul has a list of complaints. Our dogs almost let us die just because they care more about breakfast. If I dumped Taylor Swift how would her 10 minute epic break-up song about me go?  If you have an idea, feel free to drop a lyric in the comments. Surprising somebody you haven't seen in years - like your kids or your dad - by waiting extra days to pull off a viral surprise video is bullshit.  Other things that are bullshit include cupcakes and white chocolate. There are no jokes in the Bible. And finally, I play my favorite clip from Charlie Brown Thanksgiving in which Peppermint Patty throws huge shade on Linus.  In the spirit of Thanks. Then a real quick talk on The Great (Hulu).  Huzzah!  And Pete Davidson is dating Kim K, but Flava Flav is not dating Kris Jenner. There you have it.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving and some other bullshit.
35:37
November 19, 2021
Episode Forty Two - This One Fell out of a Casket
Lori opens this episode with a musical about eye glasses and it's all downhill from there - listener count included. I ponder how we ended up with a draw full of mis-matched plastic silverware and candles.  I try to convince Lori that having sex is the same as getting paid.  I quickly mention that I'm now a teacher.  Then it's time for the news. People are fucking ruining nature. If a body falls out of a casket and into a grave do you really have to start over? It took six tries for Trump to say "Go Home" Things wrap up with a quick discussion on Friends-giving and just how busy that week is going be. That's it.  Listen or don't.
31:57
November 12, 2021
Episode Forty One - Pete Davidson Dating Game
Another week with Lori and Paul.  Nothing hot to eat so we get right into the updates.   People seemed to like the video.  There were as many hits on Youtube as there were for the audio only download.  Are listener count is creeping up too! We talk a bit about who Pete Davidson has dated and I admit that I'd giggle if I saw you nekkid. That goes for anybody.  Not just you. Lori is listening to Christmas music and Paul found a Santa Claus soundboard that sounds a bit naughty. And at the end of it all, a baby gorilla was born. So there you go!
25:27
November 05, 2021
Episode Forty - The Paqui Chip Challenge
I did the Paqui #onechipchallenge about five years ago and didn't think it was that big of a deal.  Earlier this year, I saw a Hot Ones episode where they tried the 2021 version.  Seemed hot.  Saw the chip in our local Giant Eagle and decided it was finally time to give a try.  So that's what most of this episode ends up being about - and because of that we also did it on video. Once I eat the chip and start to get over the effects we get into a few of the show topics - like retirement planning, Halloween and what I've been watching. If listening just isn't enough you can follow these links to see the show -  Full Show Video Paqui Chip Video
29:33
October 29, 2021
Episode Thirty Nine - Tornado Warning
Pretty bad weather rolled though our area and had the local meteorologist all fired up during the evening news so I reminisce about the simpler tornado warnings of my youth for a few minutes as the show opens.  Then onto the news! Listener update. It's not good.  Tell a friend.  Listen on multiple phones.  Send help. When you use eggs for sexual pleasure what is the conversation like going from trying just one egg to suddenly needing 15? Halloween update.  Couples costumes.  Yay or Nay? And things wrap up with an update on Brian Laundrie and psychologically profiling ourselves to see if we would aid a criminal.
39:49
October 22, 2021
Episode Thirty Eight - Innuendo is the Best
Two weeks in a row.   The open rolls right into a clip that Lori describes as what it is like to live with me.  Mrs Brit Nicole does a TikTok of Innuendo Husband Guy.  I don't see what the problem is. From there I give a listener update.  We talk briefly about Covid Schlong (get vax'd dudes) and then go into the shows we're watching. Are you watching Only Murders in the Building? Do you have an opinion of Selena Gomez?  Does she remind you of Miley Cyrus? Did you like her in High School Musical?  Is Vanessa Hudgens Latino?  Can the first comment you make about a woman be about her appearance? Also a quick hit on Kevin Can F Himself and some stuff Lori is watching that I never heard of. Finally we do the fishing report and give an update on if video will be added to show so you can watch us and listen to us if you choose. Oh - and sorry the links don't post over to Facebook.  You'll just have to come back here to Anchor.fm to follow them.
27:28
October 15, 2021
Episode Thirty Seven - Guess Who's Back?
Oh man, we return after an unforgivable amount of time off. First up is a bit of a discussion about where we've been and what's new - like our studio space!  It's pretty cleaned up now versus a year ago.  It would even look good on video if we recorded this.  And we just might!  Lori set a goal of not doing the show in pajamas so that is one step closer to making video a reality. Speaking of goals, I drop a goal of growing this show to 50 listeners.  That's the next level up at Anchor.fm so hit the subscribe button on Apple Music, Spotify or where ever you listen from. We recently spent a weekend in NYC seeing some Broadway Musicals so you know that gets discussed.  We hit on the Free Britney Spears movement - see Britney's latest at Instagram There is a short discussion on TikTok and I admit that I only follow like one person and it's a girl that does a lot of pirate cosplay.   And then the show ends, I think.  It was pretty close to ending by that point for sure. Hit us up with comments about how water has no calories, sounds I need for the soundboard or just to say hello!
31:14
October 08, 2021
Episode Thirty Four - Up All Night
Back after a week off.  That might be how things go until the weather gets back to be crappy fall/winter Ohio weather.   We kick things off talking about staying up to late and partying with old friends and our grown up kids.  Good times but it kept us out way past our bedtime and it was back to back nights of too much fun for these old folks. I ask Lori how I should describe her death if I'm going to use it as a pick-up line. We get into what we're watching and why Lori likes the suspense of a good crime drama but not a horror movie.   No show next week with it being Memorial Day here in the States.
30:56
May 23, 2021
Episode Thirty Three - 505050402510 Road Rules
Happy Mother's Day!  We're back after a week away because we were old and hung-over last Sunday.  Why?  Because Superfan Bob had a birthday party and we won the Kentucky Derby. Like usual we banter over the intro music and how loud it might be.  After a brief CoVID and Mother's Day update we get into watching Youtube videos - boat building for Paul and sewing for Lori, lame Youtube channels and then the question of should this podcast be a video blog.  Well? After the same old commercial break we are back to talk about our big vacation plan with Superfan Bob and Kristin.  We're heading out on an east coast adventure being mindful of rattlesnakes and trying not to have sex in the same spots in the RV.  Hit us up if you have fun places for us to stop and see.  The plan is is the leave the CLE and end up somewhere in Maine over the course of a few days. We wrap up with our regular segment of what we're watching.  Lori got the Peacock streaming service for Mother's Day so she's watching Girls 5Eva and Date Line.  I'm watching Sense8, Jupitor's Legacy, the Bad Batch, Shrill, Handmaid's Tale and....maybe that's all I'm watching.   Give this one a listen and drop us a line!  I know you can do it!
32:12
May 09, 2021
Episode Thirty Two - We Haven't Watched Any of the Oscar Movies
Lori said this was a boring episode.   Things kick off with me asking how her pledge to stop drinking went.  We discuss whether this show and CoVID should be over.  Then we recap all the great movies we watched getting ready for the Oscar's tonight.  Things end with more discussion about CoVID and if things are now "back to normal"
30:15
April 25, 2021
Episode Thirty One - We're Out of Toilet Paper
This episode is a bit all over the place.   When can you call somebody a friend?  Am I don't photographing weddings?  College gunman lockdown?  Can I build another desk?  What are you watching now because Lori is out of shows?  Are you vaccinated? Grab your headphones and give it a lesson because it is a good one.
38:03
April 18, 2021
Episode Thirty - Pull my Pork
We're back with episode number Dirty Thirty!   This week the big topics are... we get vax'd again and eat all the Easter candy I also planned our epic vacation in Key West Florida strip clubs in the 'Wick Plus pulled pork, calorie counting, and other stuff.   Hit us up if you've been in Key West.  We want to know the hot spots! 
39:05
April 11, 2021
Episode Twenty Nine - Lori Only Goes the Speed Limit
There wasn't much of a list this week and we debated not having a show, but with nothing else to do and knowing that we are likely taking next Sunday off, we pulled up our britches and got in front of the microphones....and that was a good thing. We talk electrical fires, tintypes, not remembering the name of our new Superfan's fiance, fly fishing, penny can (PENNY CAN!) and can you say aren't speeding if you admit to going over the speed limit.  I say this this will become Lori's "butts are nudity" moment on show. Give it a listen.  Drop a us a message. Or don't.
31:16
March 28, 2021
Episode Twenty Eight - Vaccinated and It Feels so Good
Sort of a quick episode because the weather is too nice in the Land to be inside recording a boring podcast.   Big news for the weekend is that we both got the first dose of the CoVID vaccine so we talk about what the process was like.  We also talk about smoking meet, drinking ice tea Truly's and planning vacations.  But we do it all really quickly.
23:40
March 21, 2021
Episode Twenty Seven - Lori is Annoyed 2: Electric Boogaloo
The last I titled an episode about Lori it ended up being one of our most popular so let's see how this one goes. The list of annoyances include social media vague posting, prayer posting, counting likes, hearts, hugs and Woody Allen. At the end I bring up our new smoker and something else.  I don't know.  Whatever.  I just drink my beer and nod.
34:43
March 14, 2021
Episode Twenty Six - Happy Birthday CoVID Shutdown in Ohio!
We look back on one year since things in Ohio shut down.  That discussion includes what new hobbies we picked up, how working from home is going, remote learning for education, mask wearing and some other stuff. After the break I complain about how wishy-washy New Amsterdam was with their usage of masks on pretend TV show before deciding that Prince William might be a dick. Also, did you know Jimi Hendrix died in a pool of his own vomit?  Listen to this episode for the punchline.
31:47
March 08, 2021
Episode Twenty Five - Butts aren't Nudity but are They Softcore Porn?
We're back after taking last weekend off.   This time on the list - being a nudist and are butts nudity.  Things get dicey as the butt discussion quickly become what counts as hardcore vs softcore pornography.  Once we settle that debate, the conversations digs into PB&J sandwiches and what Lori likes and doesn't like about current eyebrow trends.
27:44
March 01, 2021
Episode Twenty Four - Valentine's Day or It Must Have Been Love
Buckle up kids.  45 minutes of sexy kitchen table talk and a love quiz coming at you! We spend the first segment discussing Lori naked in the studio, our new kitchen table, our old kitchen table and why you should never talk to retail sales people. In the second half we talk about my high school girlfriend before taking a Facebook "couple's quiz" that has been making the rounds.  Boring stuff like how long we've been together, who picks dinner restaurants.  Not a single sex question.   Somewhere in the mix we also make mention of that fact that Lori might have had a few beers on Saturday night and who swears more.
48:56
February 15, 2021
Episode Twenty Three - Super Bowl Sunday!
We give our take on the Super Bowl but don't actually ever talk about the game. Dan Levy was on SNL. Lori wants to buy me expensive whiskey but doesn't know how to buy expensive whiskey. Bridgerton.  I was told there would be sex. Leave Britney alone! and finally... I want to be buried in a mushroom suit.
37:27
February 07, 2021
Episode Twenty Two - Are We Allowed to Have Dirty Thoughts about Taylor Swift yet?
Made it to episode twenty two.  Who would have thunk?  I want to thank our enormous audience for sticking with us for the first twenty one episodes. There wasn't anything on the list so we talk about "the Facebook", crafting and this new fad called "podcasting". Listen.  Or don't.  That's what most people do.
31:14
January 31, 2021
Episode Twenty One - Paul Turned 49 and Janet Jackson Came to the Party
Say, hey!  It's Paul's birthday!  We recap the lack of birthday party shenanigans from the weekend.  Ain't no party like a CoVID party.... Lori brings of list of #1 songs and TV shows from all the years of my life that end in nine.   I also learned Mac Davis is white. Even though my birthday is a pretty big deal, we also mention that the US of A finally got a new PoTUS. Next week?  No idea.  We're out of holidays and birthdays to talk about.
37:01
January 25, 2021
Episode Twenty - Sports Talk
We sit down immediately after a Browns lose to the Chiefs in the Playoffs and talk sports.  Mostly about being fair weather fans and how upset the Cavs once made me.   From there it's onto Celebrity Birthdays and the Ebay sale in our basement.  Oh, if you come over, you never want to use the green towels. Next week it's my BIRTHDAY SPECTACULAR!
33:09
January 18, 2021
Episode Nineteen - The One with the Outtro
This week we hit on the attempted coup that just happened here in the good ole US of A before turning our attention to our usual list of unimportant things. We break down our social media accounts since we now have more of a social media presence than the PoTUS. Things Lori can't do and walk.  I encourage you to send things for Lori to try and do while walking. Pre-marital sex.  SEX. New TV shows.  Or show since we only talk about one show.
38:09
January 10, 2021
Episode Eighteen - Season Two!
New season and a new intro!  We recap our New Year's Eve, share a clip of our Harry Met Sally Zoom party and talk about having to go back to work after our holiday vacation.  I should really put more effort into these descriptions.
28:35
January 03, 2021
Episode Seventeen - When Harry Met Sally
The the New Year's Eve/Wedding Anniversary episode and When Harry Met Sally pretty much sums up both of those events for us!  We talk about the movie, what didn't exist when we got married in 1996, big plans for our 25th Wedding Anniversary and 50th Birthdays and vacationing post CoVID.
29:31
December 28, 2020
Episode Sixteen - Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Ho Ho Ho! Anybody a veterinarian?  Our dog smells like pee.  The upside is that we break early for a commercial. After the break we talk about how kinky your sex cult should be, how much coffee is too much coffee and the Queen's Gambit even though Lori isn't finished watching it yet?  Did you watch? Once all that is over, we dive deep into why Lori needs to see a therapist about Christmas.  Reliving the joy of her Donny and Marie dolls almost makes her cry!  We also talk about my normal Christmas childhood to wash. Looking ahead to next week we'll be talking about New Year's Resolutions and our Wedding Anniversary - 24 years.  Drop us advice on both in the comments! And here is the SNL skit I mentioned near the beginning of the show and the more recent one we mentioned when we were talking about Christmas. SNL - Jebidiah Atkinson Christmas Reviews SNL - Christmas Morning
58:28
December 21, 2020
Epsiode Fifteen - A Very Special Musical Christmas
Look, this episode starts with Paul dropping rhymes and just gets better, or worse, from there.  We talk Christmas songs.  Let us know your favorite and we aren't talking Church songs or grade school Christmas Classics.  After the break we get into The Vow on HBO.  When would you bail on your self help group cult?  What if they showed you the glory of toast buttered on both sides???   Yeah, how many sides of your toast do you butter? We're going to drop one more Christmas episode.  Let us know your favorite present and your Christmas Eve and Christmas Day traditions.   Oh, and were on Apple Music.  I don't know the link.  Just search for the podcast name,
51:51
December 15, 2020
Episode 14 - The Christmas Movie SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!
That's right!  It's SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!   This week we read some viewer mail, verify that we spend too much on groceries and discuss Christmas Movies. Lori said she added movies to list but the internet must have been broken since they aren't there.  We discuss my favorites and not so favorites - from childhood classics to what new movies are becoming a tradition.  Make sure to let us know what we left off the list.  I've already thought of a few! Want to watch the films we talk about?  Fire up your streaming service and click the links! A Very Murry Christmas White Christmas Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square A Christmas Prince Christmas Chronicles Christmas Story Elf Christmas Vacation Anna and the Apocolypse Santa Jaws Surviving Christmas Happiest Season Star Wars Holiday Special
39:28
December 06, 2020
Episode Thirteen - It's Beginning to Look a Bit like Christmas
Re-capping our non-super spreader Thanksgiving and kicking off the Christmas Season on this episode.  Lori has another game.  I crown out first Super-Fan and give details on how you can become the next one!  Also we need your favorite and least favorite Christmas/Holiday movies so give us that one that you love and that one that just sucks balls.  Leave the answers in the comments, message us on Facebook or Twitter, or click over and do whatever Anchor.FM has set up for you to do.
38:08
November 30, 2020
Episode Twelve - Turkey and Granny Panties
It's a very special Thanksgiving episode. Lori has a game.  The Pope likes Brazilan Instagram models.   Peanut butter, thongs, and clean sheets are in there too.
52:08
November 23, 2020
Episode Eleven - Lori's Pop Culture Update
Paul claims that you can't stop half way through a 360 spin and still get credit. We discuss looking into houses while we walk the dogs.  One of us is hoping to see somebody naked. Lori gives us the update on Britney Spears that we've all been waiting for and other pop culture things. And finally a few recipes for Thanksgiving. Turkey Mashed Taters with the Crunchy Top Brussel Sprouts Oh, and check Paul out on Chronically Oblivious.  I have no idea what it's going to be about.
33:02
November 16, 2020
Episode Ten - The One Where We Shower Together
We talk about election results, OCDs, the fact that nobody listens to this and showering.  Drop a comment on which way you face in the shower.
44:52
November 09, 2020
Episode Nine - Trying the Third Input
Recorded this one a day early and if you want to know why then you'll just have to listen.  We review the quadrilateral of seasonal holidays, Lori gets to share her opinion and we tried the third input without no success.
36:47
November 02, 2020
Episode Eight - Trick or Treat
We do math, relive the Halloweens of our childhood and watch our friends have sex.
39:56
October 26, 2020
Episode Seven - Sex and Dreams
Lori fails to use her List privileges so we get stuck talking about sex, dreams and our 21st Birthdays. 
36:57
October 19, 2020
Episode Six - Drillin' and Screwin'
Lori was banned from adding to the list this week so it's all about Paul.  CoVID, re-arranging bedroom and some boring talk about owning a small business
37:16
October 12, 2020
Episode Five - Lori has a List of Complaints
Lori is on the rampage against Facebook groups and ugly babies.  Also a bit of talk about trash picking, feeling old and why can't people just Google.
50:58
October 05, 2020
Episode Four - The Obamas are Likable?
Breaking down free food, the Obamas, fair-weather sports fans and my exercise routine
31:50
September 28, 2020
Epsiode Three - Is This What Old People Talk About?
We improved the audio quality but not the list.  Should you have a hobby that doesn't make dolla bills and is this how old people talk about eating out?
30:27
September 21, 2020
Episode Two - Who Sharted?
Barking dogs, TMI and somebody sharted are just a few of the things on this weeks list.  Also we make the decision to try weekly episodes.
32:37
September 14, 2020
Episode One - One List to Rule Them All
Setting the ground rules for the podcast and determining if I look homeless.
38:23
August 30, 2020
The Tease
Our triumphant return to the world of podcasting!
00:29
August 29, 2020