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The Ma'am Aight Queens

The Ma'am Aight Queens

By The Ma'am Aight Queens
Welcome to the Ma'am Aight Queens podcast.

We're the rulers you either love or hate and each week we'll be setting the world to rights, then, from a randomly generated word we'll be finding strange stories to tell each other all whilst having a giggle and not needing alcohol to bring our special brand of madness directly to your ears.

Full disclaimer there will be nsfw content and probably a strong view or two expressed.
So settle in and enjoy the car crashing into a dumpster fire that is Sam and Laura
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EP 17 Suspicious Salmon
This week Sam and Laura cannot, for the life of them figure out what makes circumstances 'suspicious' for salmon handling,  why if you wanna escape from prison Germany is the place and why there is a number two curse hanging over Eurovision. Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; acid fannies, Did the UK give ABBA the clap? The best farming metaphor you ever heard, Laura makes an interesting discovery about France and Sam needs Germany to sort their laws out mate. *CHRONICLES OF SILVERDEER OUT NOW*  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chronicles-S...​ Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/             https://www.laurakendrick.com/​​​​ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           https://www.mastressofnone.com​​
47:29
May 05, 2021
EP 16 Funeral Biscuits
Find out why the Victorians are weird and why the Aztecs played some weird ballgames. Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; mummy unrolling, fern hunting, archaeology is guesswork, Laura brings it back around to Star Trek and Sam will never forgive the Victorians for introducing live fish into our homes. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/             https://www.laurakendrick.com/​​​ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           https://www.mastressofnone.com​​
48:23
April 28, 2021
Ep. 15 BROTH OF MONSTERS
This week Sam freaks out. Then she overreacts. There are many moments where her voice gets to a level only dogs can hear. She doesn't like fish... Trust me on that. Also for the delight of your ear holes; Laura attempts - very admirably - to talk about some of her favourite fishy films... *CHRONICLES OF SILVERDEER OUT NOW*  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chronicles-Silverdeer-Laura-Kendrick-ebook/dp/B091B7P9SZ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+chronicles+silver+deer&qid=1619082773&sr=8-1 NEXT LEVEL AUTHORS: https://pod.link/1508555372 WHEN WINTER COMES: https://danielwillcocks.com/the-first-fall Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight... Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens ... Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/             https://www.laurakendrick.com/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           https://www.mastressofnone.com
52:57
April 22, 2021
Ep. 14 - Well 'Ard Womb
I'd say have we got a show for you this week, but honestly, we've no idea because we were both out of sorts.  This week there's some stuff that happens and then some more stuff. Something to do with biscuits...... Also for the delight of your earholes; Laura loved Thunderforce, , Bourbons are a top notch biscuit. Some frogs get stabbed with an umbrella, Laura's looking a bit early 00's mousse foundation orange. Sam loves Neil Gaiman. There's some strange things happening on a biscuit and the Nations favourite biscuit is entirely uninspired... Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaightqueens Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​...​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/             https://www.laurakendrick.com/​ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           https://www.mastressofnone.com
45:21
April 14, 2021
EP 13. Don't Rub Your F*nny on a Digestive
This week find out why you shouldn't urinate on a glossed windowsill, what a game of 'Soggy Biscuit' would be like, logistically, for women, why Kindle Create is fannying Laura off, What to do if you run out of perfume and why Sam hates the word fanny... Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; Orgasm candles, Frutella spunk, Iron Bru Predator, Laura's disdain over smelly cheese and non circular race tracks and Sam realising her role in this partnership. *CHRONICLES OF SILVERDEER OUT NOW*  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chronicles-Silverdeer-Laura-Kendrick-ebook/dp/B091B7P9SZ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+chronicles+of+silverdeer&qid=1617785039&sr=8-1 Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaightqueens​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​...​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/             https://www.laurakendrick.com/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           https://www.mastressofnone.com
43:48
April 07, 2021
Ep 12: Don't Sh*t On My Face and Tell Me it's Raining!
This week find out why your job doesn't suck nearly as bad as the whipping boys, why Sambuca isn't recommended in large quantities and why if you ask someone a favour you then shouldn't follow up with rubbing your defecation on their face.  Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; Sam arguing with her brain out loud, Laura listing ALL the things that she hates, hob nobblers, Sam devolving over the outro again and Laura signing up to be part of a pyramid scheme... *CHRONICLES OF SILVERDEER OUT NOW*  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chronicles-Silverdeer-Laura-Kendrick-ebook/dp/B091B7P9SZ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=chronicles+of+Silverdeer&qid=1617174557&sr=8-1 Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​...​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           mastressofnone.com
56:19
March 31, 2021
EP. 11 A VEIL OF A TIME
This week find out why Sainsburys are dicks, why Falcon and the Winter Soldier is going to make you thirsty, why some people get weirdly into other people's wedding veils and why ARMS are nice Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; About 3 hours of Laura laughing.... Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​...​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           mastressofnone.com
01:00:07
March 24, 2021
Ep. 10 - The Pig Trap
This week find out why you should not rely on teenage boys for advice, why even cannibalism cant escape racism and why consent is not optional. Listen to Laura do more unexpected things with her mouth and discover why Sam once, twice, thrice done with Boots Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; My son the disappearing pug, American Pie is not a sex tip bible, why Laura would eat human before bacon, why Sam plans on using a spine as a cane and why watching a comedy before oral sex is a bad decision. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​​​​​ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           mastressofnone.com
57:48
March 17, 2021
Ep. 9 - Eat Me Seymour
This week find out why you should fear the urban fox, be suspicious of  sassy salamanders and why questioning Sam on TMHT is folly. Listen to  Laura do unexpected things with her mouth and discover why challenging Sam to a game of Monopoly is extremely unwise... Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; why can't we just stop laughing, everyone's a little bit sociopath, why Laura says 'Unleash hell', our limited knowledge of being Mormon, Sam has two separate mugs of coffee, Laura is still loving that moreish crack and Sam is coming for Slack. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​​​​ Favourite Things: Daniel Willcocks Boot Camp: www.danielwillcocks.com/bootcamp  Emma (Collectibats): https://www.instagram.com/collectibats/ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           mastressofnone.com
58:20
March 10, 2021
EP. 8 Blazing Dumpster Fire
This week find out all about why we introduce each podcast as a car crashing into a dumpster fire, why Sam clearly needs to research ancient rain dances and why Laura knows the financial benefits of Dinosaur porn. Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; WTF is happening, Boris the toddler murderer, why Romesh Ranganathan and Joe Lycett are the same person, chainsaw tits and feminist Femme-Fatals, Laura is loving that moreish crack  and Sam is still thirsting after that Dunedain Dick. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​​​ Due to us discussing Trans rights this week, we will keep these sources in the show notes: This week I (Laura) said I wasn't going to give air time to the thing that had annoyed me. Instead, I said I'd do something to counter balance it. Sam and I are both very passionate about equality.  Being a film nerd and writer the area I (Laura) tend to read most about and get caught up in, is representation within fiction/culture.  Instead of recommending specific videos and highlighting the thing that got me so riled. I've decided to recommend three youtubers and two Netflix documentaries - all which explore representation in some form or another. Amazing Youtubers that may help you get more informed about why certain things/people/ideas in the zeitgeist are problematic; Lindsay Ellis - https://www.youtube.com/user/chezapoc...​ Contrapoints - https://www.youtube.com/user/ContraPo...​ MelinaPendulum  - https://www.youtube.com/user/MelinaPe...​ They are three I personally watch but I'm sure there are others. All three do thorough research into their topics and their videos are usually video essays. Disclosure - A film about trans representation on screen They've Gotta Have Us - A series that traces the history of black cinema Next Level Authors ep on magic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXfwtzrVKVA&t=1818s Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/           mastressofnone.com
01:03:04
March 03, 2021
Episode 7; The Reverse Mermaid Wideon
This week find out all about why you should stay in your lane and keep your free bible, why Sam shouts GET IN ME every time she watches Lord of The Rings, just how many times we can say dick in one podcast annnnnndddd just what exactly is the reverse mermaid. Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; No one can stay on track, THIS IS FINE, EVERYTHING IS FINE, Sam can barely keep her eyes open, Laura has some growth and Sam is commissioned to draw a very special boat. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​​ This week I (Laura) said I wasn't going to give air time to the thing that had annoyed me. Instead, I said I'd do something to counter balance it. Sam and I are both very passionate about equality.  Being a film nerd and writer the area I (Laura) tend to read most about and get caught up in, is representation within fiction/culture.  Instead of recommending specific videos and highlighting the thing that got me so riled. I've decided to recommend three youtubers and two Netflix documentaries - all which explore representation in some form or another. Amazing Youtubers that may help you get more informed about why certain things/people/ideas in the zeitgeist are problematic; Lindsay Ellis - https://www.youtube.com/user/chezapoctube Contrapoints - https://www.youtube.com/user/ContraPoints MelinaPendulum  - https://www.youtube.com/user/MelinaPendulum They are three I personally watch but I'm sure there are others. All three do thorough research into their topics and their videos are usually video essays. Disclosure - A film about trans representation on screen They've Gotta Have Us - A series that traces the history of black cinema Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/
01:02:15
February 24, 2021
Ep 6 Blown Out Tires and a Broken Chassis
Well we only went and got a bloody special guest on for this week didn't we mate!! This week find out how the amazingly bearded, multi-talented legend of a Scotsman that is John Crinan (@johncrinan ) managed to handle being stuck between Sam and Laura bickering like an old married couple. Find out why Sam and John aren't advocating self surgery, why Laura thinks McDonalds can be medicinal. Why you shouldn't wear Calvin Klein out on Safari and why you should be very wary of approaching elephants. Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; Sam fell down the stairs, John gets a nice intro, Laura can't remember accents, Wednesdays are a curse for Sam and Laura writes the new Disney horror Taxidermy Buttplugs - The Race To Save Brian. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​​ Johns Details: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johncrinan/ website: https://www.johncrinan.com/ Podcasts: https://anicechianti.com/ Mentions: Article: https://www.oddee.com/item_99089.aspx Podcasts: Horror Hangout https://play.acast.com/s/thehorrorhangout Strong language and violent scenes  https://strongviolent.podbean.com/ Daniel Willcocks: https://danielwillcocks.com  Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/  Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/
01:01:56
February 17, 2021
Ep. 5 The Circle Jerk of F*ckery
This week Sam and Laura talk about why mental health is a circle jerk of f*ckery, why Laura is going to get hate mail from Spirk shippers, why sneak b*tches are the worst and why Sam had to run zig zag through a field to escape a cow she'd pissed off. Also included for the pleasure of your peasant ears; More men getting stuck places they shouldn't, vaginas, why the phrase gagging for it is weird, Lord of The Rings memes and Dr Manhattans 12ft blue penis. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​ Anchor: https://anchor.fm/the-maam-aight-queens Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/ Don't forget to Like and Subscribe if you enjoyed so you never miss a car crash!
51:36
February 10, 2021
Ep. 4 Proportionate Reactions
This week Sam and Laura talk about why ovaries can do one mate, why an elastic band is not an effective revenge strategy, why Sam cant function as a human and if wanking off a tramp is an act of public service... The word of the week is 'Help’ and we want to hear from you; what interesting fact or story do you have around this word drop in the comments below or over on our socials, it will fill our blackened hearts with glee. And you know what, why not like and subscribe everywhere you can, I think Sam's still got a cubicle with her number on somewhere - why not draw a tick, or five stars under it? It all helps. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaight...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens​ Daniel Willcocks Bootcamp: https://danielwillcocks.com/ Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/  Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/
46:41
February 03, 2021
Ep. 3 - For External Use Only
This week Sam and Laura talk why technology can be a good thing, why cleaning is the worst thing ever invented by humans, why magnets are a remedy for nothing and the disturbing trend in triangles which has left Fisher Price at a loss... The word of the week is 'Bitter’ and we want to hear from you; what interesting fact or story do you have around this word drop in the comments below or over on our socials, it will fill our blackened hearts with glee. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/themaamaightqueens/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/maamaightqueens Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human! Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/  Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/
56:15
January 27, 2021
Ep. 2 The Poncho Glory Hole
This week Sam and Laura discuss parent disclaimers, why your Nan has probably got a glory hole and attempt not to bore themselves to death after having been painted into a corner by the word principle... The word of the week is ‘Magnetic’ and we want to hear from you; what interesting fact or story do you have around this word drop in the comments below or over on our socials. Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/ Facebook:  facebook.com/groups/3853535564713296 Links to the beautiful people we spoke about: Great Writers Share: pod.link/1473869415 Next Level Authors:  pod.link/1508555372 Rebel Authors Podcast: sachablack.co.uk/the-rebel-author-podcast/ A Nice Chianti: anicechiante.com Collectibats: instagram.com/collectibats/ Daniel Willcocks: danielwillcocks.com Sacha Black: sachablack.co.uk John Crinnan: johncrinan.com H B Lynne:  hblyne.com Faye Trask: @writerfayetrask Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only huma Check them out on the 'Gram Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/  Sam: instagram.com/mastressofnone/
40:44
January 20, 2021
Stop Sticking Your D*ck In Metal
This week Laura and Sam talk about why they hate humanity, love Drag Queens and give you some surprising facts about Firemen you didn't realise you needed in your lives.   This word of the week is 'Principle' and we want to hear from you, what interesting fact/story do you have around this word? Drop it in the comments below or over on our socials.   Instagram: instagram.com/themaamaightqueens/   Facebook: facebook.com/groups/3853535564713296   Want to learn more about what the Queens are doing, of course you do, you're only human!    Check them out on the 'Gram   Laura: instagram.com/betterlatethannovel/ Sam:   instagram.com/mastressofnone/ And remember if you want to get the full visual of our gals giggling you can head on over to youtube where you might just glimpse a dogs butthole..... Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPepTgRCHF1J9vrmIBffc4Q/about
39:48
January 13, 2021