The Marriage Project
By Alysha Miller
The Marriage Project is a monthly podcast highlighting Christian couples and the stories behind their marriages designed to encourage, educate and advocate for marriage and the family. Join our host, Alysha Miller, each month as she interviews couples and asks them to share their testimonies and speak about what they've learned through marriage. This podcast exists to glorify God and share the hope of the gospel through the portrait of marriage.
The Marriage ProjectDec 14, 2022
Bethany and Jacob from The Whatever Is True Podcast - Raising Families Through a Biblical Worldview
We have Bethany and Jacob from the Whatever is True Podcast with us on episode 42. Married for 11 years, they felt the stirring to start a podcast last year. Their podcast is all about raising families + pursuing marriage through a biblical worldview with the main verse 1 John 3:18 as the banner over it.
“18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
Be blessed as they share how they met, some of the topics they talk about over on their podcast, and the decision to homeschool their 5 children.
Connect with them on Instagram @whateveristrueco, @wavesandlilacs (Bethany), and @jakeoffscript (Jacob)
To hear more couple's stories and testimonies head over to www.themarriageproject.co or follow us on Instagram @themarriageprojectco
The Philgreens on Radically Loving Jesus and Being A Texas Wedding Photo/Video Team
Cameron and Danielle have been married for 6 years and currently live in Waco, TX whose full-time job is photography and videography. They share with us about their house-trained bunny, their favorite podcasts, how God brought them together and what it's like working together. They welcomed their first baby boy, Cohen, last June and are expecting their second child later this year.
They have a heart for Jesus and for couples... click here to shop their resources to intentionally pursue your partner. Follow them on Instagram!
For more testimonies behind the matrimonies, be sure to follow @themarriageprojectco and check out the podcast at www.themarriageproject.co
Ep. 40 Catching Up with Andrea and Elliott Johnson: An Endometriosis Diagnosis and The Lord’s Provision
We're catching up with Elliott and Andrea Johnson as they share all about Andrea's endometriosis diagnosis, the importance of emergency funds, and how God sustained their marriage "in sickness and in health."
At the beginning of their marriage, God led Elliott and Andrea to get out of debt and manage their money in a totally counter-cultural way.
They had no way of knowing then that in following his lead, God would provide not only the resources they needed for her to receive a life-changing surgery years later, but a life-giving career for Elliott to help others out of financial stress.
Similarly, God put on Andrea's heart to create a social media account with the mission of encouraging women in their faith and relationship with him. Little did she know it would be through that social media account that God would lead her to her Endometriosis-excision surgeon and the opportunity to help other women as they navigate the world of endometriosis and restore their metabolic & hormonal health.
They share how even through this painful season, the Lord brought forth a sweeter and stronger marriage than before, in a way only He can.
You can connect with Elliott and Andrea on their Instagrams at @elliott.financialcoaching and @everalwaysaj
Tuvya Zaretsky from Jewish-Gentiles Couples on Spiritual Harmony in Cross-Cultural Relationships
Tuvya and his wife Ellen have been married for 41 years. Both are from traditional Jewish backgrounds but identify as Messianic Jews for Jesus (Jews who believe in Jesus). They have 3 adult children, two daughters and a son, and one daughter who is intermarried.
Tuvya holds a Doctorate in Intercultural Studies from Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon. He is the founder of JewishGentileCouples.com, a free counseling service for intercultural couples. JGC ministry helps people who are in Jewish-Gentile relationships (dating, engaged, married, together with or without children) create greater cross-cultural understanding.
Jewish Gentile Couples is a collective of ministers who offer free of charge resources and support to help couples find spiritual harmony. You can listen to couples' stories on the Jewish Gentile Couples Podcast. There are also a great many resources shared on their website, one being a workbook Tuvya created to help a couple come to the understanding that Yeshua can bring them spiritual harmony, when one or both don’t yet know Him as Messiah. That workbook is available for purchase here.
Episode 39's guest:
JGC on IG @jewishgentilecouples
Be sure to follow @themarriageprojectco and visit TheMarriageProject.co for more couples' stories and testimonies.
Rashawn and Denisse Copeland on Marriage and Spreading Hope in Jesus’ Name
Rashawn and Denisse have been married for 5 years and have 4 boys! They are both authors and encourage followers weekly through their online platforms.
Denisse wrote a book titled Set Apart - Stop Comparing, Own Your Giftedness and Rest in Jesus. Rashawn’s books are titled Start Where You Are with the foreword written by Manny Pacquiao and a second title, No Turning Back. He also hosts a podcast sharing stories and scripture and has a popular TikTok/Instagram spreading hope in Jesus’ name! I’m sure listeners have shared or definitely seen some of their reels or posts without even realizing it! Enjoy listening to a part of their testimonies and marriage story today on The Marriage Project!
Hear more couples' stories at www.themarriageproject.co and follow along @themarriageprojectco
Episode 38's guests:
Denisse IG: https://www.instagram.com/ricanxo_/ | https://www.instagram.com/setapartdaughters/
Rashawn IG: https://www.instagram.com/hypesir/ | https://www.instagram.com/jesusfeed/ | Rashawn Copeland on TikTok
Ashley and Dino Petrone on A Marriage Designed to Last
Ashley and Dino Petrone have been married since 2006 (16 years) and make their home in Florida with their four kids: Gabe, Gavin, Quinn, and Foxi. Ashley began her popular Instagram account @arrowsandbow as a way to document her home-design journey. It took off during the seventeen months their family lived in a trailer she'd transformed from an outdated RV into a bright and welcoming home. Dino is a senior engineer and Ashley is a full-time mom, blogger, and interior designer.
The Petrone’s new book, Designed to Last, released on April 5th. In it, they share their unconventional journey of building an intentional marriage, family, home and business; growing in faith; and finding joy in the in-between (when life is a more fluid than settled)
The Petrone’s book available here Designed to Last and my book, HIS, available here
Dan and Tiffani Matsuura on the Heart of Worship, Revival, and Godly Submission
Dan and Tiffani have been married for 13 years.
Dan is the youth pastor and worship pastor & Tiffani is a (new) missionary. Dan left his full-time position at a school district in 2019 to pursue ministry. Tiffani left a full-time, photography business in 2021 to pursue missions. She would consider herself a local missionary.
Hear why they made this decision on episode 36.
Chris and Jenni Graebe from The Rhythm of Us on The Thriving Marriage You Long For
We have Chris and Jenni Graebe on the podcast today. Chris and Jenni are the cohosts of the Rhythm of Us podcast, where they interview guests about living a life of faith and keys to marriage, with guests like Lisa Bevere, Max Lucado, and Jeremy and Adi Camp to name a few!
They are authors of the new book The Rhythm of Us: Create the Thriving Marriage You Long For.
In their book, Chris and Jenni share some of the core rhythms that are key for every healthy marriage. They use practical guidance with Biblical wisdom and share personal anecdotes from different stages of their marriage. Their desire is for every couple to experience a thriving relationship with their spouse no matter the season of life!
Married for 17 years, they live deep in the trees of Franklin, TN, with their five children.
In episode 35, they share with listeners what it was like writing a book together; 5 of the core rhythms that they live by; the importance of having mentor couples in a married couple’s life; being aware of the habits/rhythms that shape us and our lives; and the importance of growing in humility and keeping Christ at the center of parenting and marriage.
Their book is serving as an indirect mentor for that “stuck in a rut married couple”.
Connect with them and get yourself a copy of their book at their website, The Rhythm of Us, and on Instagram
Dav and Bethany Beal from Girl Defined Ministries Talk Marriage, Spiritual Pride and Teen Hot Topics
We have Bethany Beal from Girl Defined on the podcast this month! She and her husband Dav share with us a bit of their love story and share more about Bethany and her sister’s ministry Girl Defined. The heart behind the ministry is this: to help modern girls understand and live out God’s timeless truth for womanhood. In a day and age when girls and women receive so many conflicting messages about their value, purpose, and identity, they desperately need to know that the only one who can define them is the One who created them.
Find out more at www.girldefined.com
Axel and Carly Van Cleve on Marriage Abroad, Uganda and Mental Health
Episode 33 was recorded live from Kampala, Uganda. Axel and Carly have only been married one year (just celebrated one year in June!) but have already navigated a cvd 19 era wedding, moved across the country after being married for one month to train for their internship at the same Christian NGO, started new jobs, dealt with some tougher moments as Carly’s mental health showed its darker side, moved back to California for a few weeks then packed up to move to Uganda to start new jobs in a new country.
They share how they’ve shown up and found each other through it all, relied daily on Christ, what it means to sacrifice, love better and grieve the things they miss deeply while being away from home.
#themarriageprojectco #testimoniesbehindthematrimonies
Seth and Danielle McAnally on Living for Christ as a Dual Military Family
Seth and Danielle McAnally are celebrating two years of marriage this August yet have only been together for a total of one year as Seth is a Second Battalion 7th Marines Infantry Officer and has been deployed on and off throughout their marriage. Danielle is also a Marine and serves as a Supply Officer aka procuring items or equipment for the unit. They describe what life is like as a dual military couple and living for Christ in a very secular industry.
Aaron and Amanda Florczykowski on Parenting Fiercely and Advocacy Against Child Sex Trafficking
Author of the book, Unraveled: Mothering Fiercely in a World Full of Fears, Amanda Florczykowski and her husband Aaron share with us how the Lord called their family into the fight against child sex trafficking.
Aaron and Amanda have faced some incredibly hard and very traumatic trials in their 16 years of marriage. Yet they stand firmly behind the faithfulness of God and how He’s trustworthy as He calls us into the spiritual battle. The book and this episode focus on the day when Amanda and Aaron’s toddler was taken from Amanda’s arms in a thwarted sex trafficking abduction, beginning them on an unexpected journey.
They share the behind-the-scenes details of this incredible story, and the basic facts you must know to outsmart a trafficker, and the specific biblical truths that prevail when injustice, trauma, or fear leave you undone. Having fought fear and won, this couple is uniquely qualified to give unwavering advice and personal examples that will help you parent fiercely, equip you with resources to become more aware of this epidemic that’s plaguing not only our world but our nation and even small-town communities.
Check out their ministries:
Vigilant Families and Able Moms to learn more. And be sure to pick up your own copy of Unraveled to read the story in full.
Spin-Off Episode with Alex Johnson - Sobriety, Healing and Freedom found in Christ
Alex Johnson is the first-ever spin-off episode on The Marriage Project. She shares with us more in-depth about what Jesus healed her from - a heroin and crack addiction that led to working in the adult film industry.
She recently celebrated her 10th year of sobriety and shares how Jesus radically transformed her life and helped break her free from the shame tied around living the life that she did. It took a devastating loss to give Alex the courage to create a YouTube channel and platform to share where hope is found. She goes into the heart of her ministry and her heart for those battling mental illness, depression and sex trafficking victims around the world.
The Power Struggle, Sharing Hope in Hardship, & Marriage after Addiction with Alex & Dallas Johnson
Dallas and Alex have known each other since high school, and have been married for six years this July. They grew up in the same college-mountain town in Arizona, where they love being outdoors and staying active during the seasons. They recently got two new additions to their family, two sweet golden retrievers, Faith and Texas. They love traveling whenever they can get away from their businesses. Dallas owns and operates a towing business, and until recently Alex was the bookkeeper for the company. While Dallas continues to run his towing business, Alex is designing a clothing line that will donate portions of profit to charity; to suicide victims and sex-trafficked women in Cambodia, two things she’s most passionate about. Dallas and Alex also have YouTube channels: Tow Trainer and Hope With Alex. Dallas offers towing advice on active calls, and Alex encourages people to hold onto hope during hardships.
Listen in for a summary of Alex’s powerful testimony - God broke her free from addiction to heroin, crack and alcohol. She shares how during that time she became involved in the adult industry and how Jesus broke her free from all shame tied to that. She also shares more in-depth on this month’s spin-off episode.
Jarrett and Katrina McCain on The Pursuit of Christ’s Perfect Love for Imperfect People
Jarrett and Katrina are the first to claim they are not perfect, they are far from it. In a world that teaches we “deserve” the best, to be loved, all the feel-good nuances a feel-good show or quote on social media promotes, it’s sobering to realize the penalty of our sinfulness deserves nothing but death (Romans 3:23). In that acknowledgement and truth, Christ and His mercy is magnified. Christ died for us while we were still sinners and because of His sacrificial love , when we receive Him into our hearts we receive forgiveness of sin and the hope of Heaven. Imagine: an imperfect, undeserving humanity, receiving a perfect love from a holy God because He loves us that much. Listen in as Katrina and Jarrett have discovered what loving well looks like and how Christ covers all our faults and imperfection in our daily choices and in their marriage.
Journey with Denilson and Siobhian Christopher on Life, Marriage and Glorifying God in Trinidad
Denilson and Siobhian (pronounced Sher-vorn) Christopher have been married for 5 years and will be celebrating their 6th anniversary on the 6th of June! They live in the southern part of Trinidad which is part of a twin island Republic state in the Caribbean.
Together, they have started a marriage blog, Journey With The Christophers. The blog began last year to bring some positivity to the marriage narrative and to prayerfully inspire others by sharing truth and by being an example of a godly Christian marriage, giving hope to those floundering in marriage.
Dustin and Rebecca George: Pursuing the Call God Places on Our Lives, A Pastor and Pastor’s Wife’s Perspective
Dustin and Rebecca George live in Brookhaven, Mississippi, and have quite the unique perspective as Dustin is the lead pastor of Easthaven Baptist Church.
Episode 26 gives us an inside look into how pastors and their families navigate full-time ministry and we hear the story of Dustin and Rebecca met and how God took two very independent individuals (who might I add have a 19 year age difference) and called them to marriage, to each other.
Rebecca is passionate about cheering others on in the pursuit of making God known through their unique calling and hosts a podcast called Do The Thing Movement.
Connect with Rebecca on her Instagram and listen to Pastor Dustin’s latest sermons at Easthaven Baptist Church podcast on Apple Podcasts.
Phylicia and Josh Masonheimer and the Big Picture View on Theology, Marital Roles, Sexual Expectations, All Saint’s Day & Parenthood
Phylicia Masonheimer has a background in theology and is the founder of Every Woman a Theologian. She’s also a gifted writer and best-selling author, wife, homeschool mama, host of Verity by Phylicia Masonheimer podcast but most importantly she is a disciple of Christ. Her latest book is entitled Stop Calling Me Beautiful: Finding Soul-Deep Strength in a Skin-Deep World.
Her husband Josh is the CFO, COO of all things ministry and home school related. He is the support behind his wife’s ministry and it’s such a blessing to get hear a part of their marriage story, how they met, and a chance to hear them tackle a few topics pertaining to marital roles, sexual expectations, why they chose to forgo celebrating Halloween and resources for raising biblically sound children in today’s loud world.
Connect with them at phyliciamasonheimer.com, on Phylicia’s instagram, and tune in to Verity by Phylicia Masonheimer.
Restoring Intimacy After Sexual Addiction and Trauma with Clinton and Charity Munoz
This month I’m joined by Clinton and Charity Munoz, who created a ministry called Restored 2 More. This ministry birthed from their own story of dealing with healing and restoration after walking through a very trying season in their marriage. Restored 2 More was created to assist couples in rebuilding intimacy and to help women heal from betrayal trauma. They have a podcast, YouTube channel and workbook as tools to help aid in educating and addressing sexual or pornography addiction, trauma and underlying issues.
You can find them at https://restored2more.com/
Instagram - @restored2more
Apple Podcasts - Restored 2 More or Spotify - Restored 2 More
Caleb and Stefanie Rouse: Relationship Educators and Thriving With Jesus
Stefanie and Caleb Rouse use their online and social media platforms to point others to Christ. They use what they've learned (Stefanie has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy; Caleb has a Masters in Education) along with their love for God and His Word to help encourage others who are feeling hopeless, down in relationships and are desiring to live life the way God intended them to. He wants to bless you and give you His best. He puts boundaries around us because He loves us! Listen in to how Caleb and Stefanie navigated learning to make big changes to their lives when they decided to go all in for Jesus, why they waited to have sex until marriage, how their marriage takes intentional daily work and how the secret to it all is having Christ at the center.
You can find Stefanie and Caleb at their website
On YouTube
On Instagram @stefanie.rouse & @calebjasonrouse
They recently launched a MASTERCLASS for single women and will be launching more resources for married couples at the start of the new year.
Tim and Stephanie Broersma and a Marriage Reclaimed After Marital Betrayal
Tim and Stephanie share the process they went through after Stephanie found a conversation between her husband and another woman after he left his Facebook page open in the 7th year of their marriage. Tim confessed to multiple affairs and to a pornography addiction which took them both on a journey to restoration as they determined to do the hard work and fight for their marriage because the prospect of the alternative was harder to bear than going through the uncomfortable middle.
On the other side, they have found beauty truly does rise from the ashes when we find our life and/or marriage has caught fire. Walk with them through the rubble as they share their testimony and the ministry God birthed in Stephanie as she coped with the pain, devastation of grappling with marital betrayal.
Connect with Stephanie at www.reclaimedministry.com or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reclaimedministry/
Karl and Bonny Hoeflein and Loving People Into the Kingdom
Karl and Bonny Hoeflein share their wisdom and what they’ve seen God do in and through their 35 years of marriage. Bonny is a teacher, author, and speaker. Her book called More Cake — puts to print the lessons the Lord had shown her over her lifetime. Bonny’s ministry, Live Brighter, is the fruit of her life passion for nurturing, empowering, and inspiring men and women to act bravely, love deeply, and live brightly.
Karl is a software project manager and is the facilitator of Bonny’s dreams and is happy doing so. Karl encourage the college students who come into their home (who’ve come over the years for homegroup and bible study) that “You can serve the Lord with your abilities, it’s not just pulpit ministries. You can serve Him behind the scenes.”
You can find her book and more videos at livebrighter.org
Jacob and Tori Petersen - God Making Families Whole
Jacob and Tori Petersen have been married a little over 2 years, have a 2 year old son and a daughter on the way. They have a heart for family and seeing the restoration of families. Jacob is in a season of being the husband and father God has called him to be and enjoys welcoming all into their family home and making them feel like family. Tori grew up in the foster care system and God has since redeemed and restored pieces of her story and is using her as an advocate for foster youth, vulnerable youth and suffering families and is a voice for the unborn/pro-life. Taken from her site, Tori writes, “I share my life vulnerably with hopes to let my Abba Father be known & loved through stories, to offer hope to the hurting, & to serve people from all kinds of backgrounds.
You can read more from Tori on her website or connect with her on Instagram.
Linda Obremski and Mariah Metoyer-Marino on Grieving with Hope
Rick and Aviana Valadez on Coming Forth As Gold in Marriage, Blended Families and in Ministry
Aviana and Rick Valadez go into their marriage story and how Jesus saved and redeemed their lives. They also share how they allow Him to steer their blended family and the way He led their family to street evangelism through their two boys and how that’s prepared them for missions.
Jenn and Shawn Marriage Story - When God Moves Us Into Unknown, New Territory
However, we didn't let quarantine stop us and episode 17 was recorded live from Jenn and Shawn Stocking's home in Riverside, CA. It's sweet to hear the two of them share how Jesus came into their life and they each received the free gift of salvation He offers (Romans 6 and 7 are good chapters to read about this very gift and why we as sinners should be grateful for it!)
Journey with Shawn and Jenn as they recount their lives before Christ, how a death in the family turned Shawn off from God and caused him to hold atheistic views for a time. He debated things about God and refuted Him before he reconnected to Jenn and learned more about her faith.
When Shawn did give his life to Christ, Jenn supported him as he began to learn from God's Word. Coming from an atheist background he had to learn how to lead biblically.
Shawn shares, "Through God's Word, through Scripture, we know what’s expected of us in our marriage."
Be sure to follow on Instagram @themarriageproject.co and sign up for the community newsletter to get each episode straight to your inbox at www.themarriageproject.co
#themarriageprojectco #testimoniesbehindthematrimonies
His and Her Perspective on Glowing Through Marriage, The Arts and Family ft. Kytia and Jerrell
On episode 16, we get to hear the his and her sides of their marriage story and beyond. Listen in to learn on how they knew each other were "the one", how God has called them to be "fire starters" or pioneers in new creative mediums, the conviction of saving themselves for marriage and the importance of family in a world and culture that is trying to abolish the family unit.
This is a timely episode in the times we are living in. Kytia and Jerrell's platforms are a light in a dark world and I pray you're encouraged by their ministries.
Here is a link to their channels and podcast:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/glowing-through-it-with-kytia-and-jerrell/id1498681947
www.instagram.com/kytialamour/
Marriage and Redefining Our Identity with Zack and Daniella Peck
Zack was raised in a Christian home and says he was a “Calvary kid”. or a “Sunday school kid”. Never had deep roots…”I was friends with kids who memorized the Bible but never knew them for myself”. He identified with being the joker and says that was probably very reflective of His relationship with the Lord, would make light of it.
“A lot of the serious things, the things that would cultivate good growth, I joked about”.
His relationship with the Lord didn’t start at this “wow” moment, it was a gradual thing.
“The Lord’s all about the long game”. — Zack
Zack was also adopted at a young age, knew his bio mom but never knew who his bio dad was and is still a mystery to this day.
That was the seed that brought him to the Lord and for 12-14 years led down a path of lies and destructive tendencies.
They share how they met (while in junior high/high school) and the ways the Lord showed them what they were making idols of and how He didn't bring them back to each other until He had their whole hearts.
All this and more on this month's episode!
Chelsey and Corey DeMatteis on Putting Our Pasts to Death & Making Room for New Life in Marriage
They answer these questions.
You’ve been open about the tougher seasons you’ve walked through even more recently together, can you share briefly on that season you’ve been walking through?
2. What’s something you envisioned your marriage looking like on your wedding day that was such a misconception or something that never really played out?
3. Do you guys take things to each other to the Lord together, on occasion? Or go to Him separate than come together and share it more often? Do you think one is more beneficial than the other?
4. How do you two find the balance of including each other’s opinions, or respecting each other’s thoughts in making family decisions or don’t you? Is that something you work through, find hard to do?
5. Chelsey we have similar testimonies, promiscuous pasts/the party scene, how do you feel that’s carried over into your marriage?
We talk about the hard things knowing that in our weakness He is strong. And knowing Jesus is not done with us yet! We can be confident that’s not how He’s going to leave the story, on the struggle or part that might leave you feeling deflated or discouraged. He’s working.
6. You’ve heard the word revival over your marriage. What are some of the things you want to leave in 2019 focusing on the things you need to leave behind (not your souses) and what do you want to bring into 2020 in regards to your marriage?
7. Corey, you’ve recently started a men’s study, how has that changed things? Chelsey, you host a podcast and write for ibelieve.com and to the wife’s and mommas with dreams in their hearts, how do you balance it? How did you begin?
8. How have you been able to use your skills or passion to serve God together or what would the dream be? What are you each passionate about? How could those two things blend?
9. What are your family goals / plans for 2020?
Be sure to follow on Instagram @themarriageproject.co and sign up for the community newsletter to get each episode straight to your inbox at www.themarriageproject.co
#themarriageprojectco #testimoniesbehindthematrimonies
Catching Up with Elliott and Andrea Johnson On Honoring God Through Your Finances and Finding Financial Peace
11:30 It takes time to work up to creating a budget and it takes time and grace. They give couples 90 days to start and it’s okay if you mess up. It’ll take 3 months to get the framework and foundation of your budget.
16:50 the feeling of peace and freedom that came from cutting up their credit cards and not owing a single thing to a single lender.
18:00 we talk about tithing and offering. Tithing is biblical principle, not a marriage principle.
21:00 thoughts on separate bank accounts in marriage.
“When you get married everything is one. God says to be fruitful and multiply, 1x1 is 1.”
25:00 talking about having a budget meeting committee together and seeing where you can and cannot spend.
“I had a pronoun issue, when I would say “I go to work and this is my account”. It wasn’t just me myself and I. That wasn’t it. God really had to correct me, it’s “us, we, ours, it’s together.”
36:00 quick overview of how to even create a budget.
You start with a quick start budget that has different categories and list of your debt and start plugging in numbers.
“You have to give every dollar a name, every dollar has to be on mission, on task, on paper, on purpose.”
Elliott goes into what the debt snowball is and how to celebrate some little wins and how to get the snowball to roll of paying debt off.
“When you begin to slay all those things down and cut them all down, you begin to see what kingdom of God looks like and feels like and the things you can do in His Kingdom and see it grow and flourish not just in you but how it’s going to propagate through the Kingdom
42:00 comparing yourself to how others live in marriage and the danger of that.
“Don’t let the fear of man and comparison, drive your behavior” —Andrea
“Who are we going to honor with what we have?
Is it going to be money, status and the pride of life that we’re going to be living for or to fear the Lord and the way He tells us to manage finances?”
Link Andrea’s comparison devotional
“This keeping up with the Joneses mentality has error, because the Joneses are most likely in debt to have all those nice things. You become a slave to their lifestyle.”
@themarriageprojectco
“It’s not that we’re against nice things. I want you to have nice things, I just don’t want nice things to have you.” — Elliott
45:00 talking a bit about comparison in marriage and if men compare as much as women, and if they have the “hallmark” take of marriage like women do. And do spouses compare talents, income and giftings?
“Income level is not a point where you should find your value, your value is in Whose you are in Christ” — Elliott
54:00 for those dating, when the financial conversation should start to happen and how and when your accounts merge.
Financial peace is not an oxymoron. It is possible. They’re walked through it, through the pain and tension and have been blessed get out of debt and help walk others through getting out too.
Melissa and Bart and Keeping Your Eyes on Christ in All Seasons
Diving right in, talking about one of the most trying things they’ve walked through together in marriage, infertility.
Have we idolized certain milestones in our life and in the church?
How often do we not even think as we are asking certain questions?
Never really fully knowing what someone may be walking through…
There are those sharp pointed questions, those cliche questions. Being married 13 years. Bart and Melissa get asked that question, “No kids?” a lot. Bart says sometimes it is easier to just give the short response back without going into it.
Melissa —
“You have your heart prepared for those questions. Not wanting to put that person on the spot, by saying “Oh we can’t have children”. Automatically you get a look on their face, and I get it. I thank you for recognizing it’s a hard thing but it shouldn’t be something we aren’t able to openly talk about.
It shouldn’t be something that I or my husband or my marriage should carry any shame for. It’s not something that we’ve have chosen for ourselves. And even if there’s a couple whose chosen not to have children, there’s no shame in that either.”
Melissa also shared,
“I’ve found I’ve personally struggled with where you feel ‘What about me is broken?’ Or why is it that I’m not good enough to be a mom?
There’ve been those seasons that I allow myself to question those things, and in light of truth found in Scripture, I know that God is sovereign and I know He’s in control. He’s redeemed me and my body, my marriage. I know He’s not withholding anything good.
The Scripture says that in Psalms, that ‘He withholds nothing good for those who walk uprightly.’ And I know I am not upright in myself, that I’m upright in Christ and His righteousness.
So I lean back on that verse to give me comfort and focus and perspective on what is true.
But it is hard. it is still a desire of my heart.
We’re not in control of those desires of when and how we have those things come to pass.”
Bart —
“ About God’s timing, if you’re walking with the Lord He has you exactly where He wants you.”
Barrenness —
Melissa goes a bit into a study on the life of Elizabeth. Her husband had difficulty conceiving.
How To Deal with Disappointment by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
“Barrenness is where you don’t see fruit. That can be anything. We don’t always see the fruit of our labor. It reminded me of not being able to bear a child at this time that it’s a season, it has purpose and it’s okay.
Anytime we want to see fruit in our labor, it leads to disappointment.
Reminds us of Who to go to with our disappointment.”
Similar to Habakkuk where he sees the wickedness around him prevail, he cries out to the Lord, “How long Lord, how long Lord will You allow this to go on?”
It’s recognizing in the midst of disappointment and carry that in my heart, I go to the One who sees it all. It’s clinging to His character, not our feelings. Not who I think He is, but knowing who He declares He is.
Bart —
“On disappointment and when you’ve prayed for something and God says no or hasn’t com through, you go back and think what your motives were on that. Was it to glorify Him?”
Joy and peace cannot be taken away from us but it can be traded for things of this world. Don't ever trade it. What Christ did on the cross, secured our peace and joy. We don’t need to fight for it but we do need to fight for more of Christ.
Job 23:10: “But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.”
He is preparing us to be His bride.
22:00 how they met
Melissa literally fell into Bart’s lap.
Bart had been pretty discouraged that he hadn’t ever been in a serious relationship, so his sister prayed that his future wife would just fall into his lap. “Make it so easy that she fall in his lap” was what Bart’s sister prayed.
And that same night at study, Melissa who had been friends with them came to study a little late and had squeeze past s
Regan and Mellie Martin on The Call to Cape Town, Togetherness, and the Gospel of God’s Grace
Vanessa and Rehgert on Life and Marriage in South Africa and the Father's Heart
Rehgert is a South African native (born and raised) and knew he had a unique upbringing in that he had a stable home life, parents still married and found Jesus early on. He wanted to lead the way for the youth and created Aleph Surf International to meet kids in the neighborhood, who've only known poverty, broken homes and hardship, right where they're at. Surfing is the method to bridge the gap to get to know them and having the opportunity to share the love of Christ with them, with hopes to change the community one individual at a time with the hope of the gospel.
Vanessa has a background in the apparel manufacturing world which led her to live in Eastern Africa (Uganda) for a few years prior to meeting Rehgert.
The way God crossed their paths is truly divine and something only He could do! The truly supernatural touches of the Lord, down to their wedding flower (the South African national flower - the protea- unbeknownst to Vanessa at the time) is evidence of His bringing them together!
Their courtship was a fast one, yet a confirmed one, and Vanessa found herself married and living in South Africa, joking that it felt like an "arranged marriage" (arranged by the Lord).
Their first year of marriage was like a boot camp, having to learn each other with just the two of them (her family being time zone's away) and wrestling with the Lord through it all (Vanessa shares this was her wrestling..)
Vanessa admits the struggle she had in the first 5 years of their marriage, adjusting to a new culture (so different than the Eastern African culture she had loved and so far from home) and she shares it was on one of her runs that she was hit with this realization -
"The Father spoke, “You have been looking at everything you’ve lost but not at everything you’ve gained.
Do you want to run trails you’ve run before or trails you’ve never run before? I’m trying to give you new trails to blaze but you want to keep running the same one.”
So much to unpack in this episode and the encouragement to keep serving, keep loving even when breakthrough isn’t being seen. Will we trust the Father’s at work even still? Will we serve Him even still? Will we be ready for Him when He comes back for His bride? Are our oils lamp emptied or full? (with reference to the parable of the 10 Virgins).
They share all this and more - more about Aleph, their hearts for Israel, what covenant truly is and Rehgert closes out in prayer in his native tongue, Afrikaans.
Be sure to follow on Instagram @themarriageprojectco or check out the website www.themarriageproject.co to see all the photos accompanying each testimony behind each matrimony! And please leave a comment on iTunes or on the website, we want to hear from you! And don’t forget to subscribe for the community newsletter to get each episode sent directly to your inbox!
Alysha Miller on The Narrow Road with Jesus and The Road to South Africa
As I gear up to leave for South Africa, I thought I’d share a bit about why I’m going, how I was led to the couple I’ll be interviewing (shared at the tail end, min 48:00) and sharing parts of my testimony as it ties in to God leading me there.
I’ll be sharing more on social media and posting from South Africa, so if you don’t follow there be sure to follow along @themarriageprojectco.
So, my testimony…where do I even begin?
Episode notes:
From an early age my innocence was stolen (not included in episode but important to note). What happened to me at a young age was not okay. It wasn’t until years later I realized that. From there, sexuality and sensuality was heightened to me and is what I became accustomed to — being used and being totally honest, I really liked the attention I got from guys by acting sensually, provocatively. It eventually became this — all I knew was hook ups and negative toxic relationship patterns.
It was a vicious cycle.
I didn’t even know there was another option. A different type of guy, ones with integrity and decency. But my heart became so hard, that’s who I became drawn to. Again, vicious cycle.
I was in two unhealthy relationships from age 15-21. One last four and a half years.
Then I had “the Vegas era” and that’s where I felt most at home…sin city, tells you where my heart was at. That described it, sin city.
I became obsessed with the idea of a certain type of relationship and being in love but it was an immature skewed view of “love” and an irrational, unrealistic one at that.
When I first discovered the Word of God personally I knew love for the first time. And that may sound weird but it isn’t, because Jesus is described as the Word. Read John 1 (1-14). And beyond His Word, He is closer than any human relationship can get and this love is real and true and not broken. His love won’t hurt me.
To experience this kind of radical purest form of love after a series of serious heartache and anxiety and sad tears, I began to cry more. But this time they were healing tears. And tears of repentance.
I share more about the road with Jesus I’ve been on since. And meeting Him at the cross.
I share how parts of my heart still want to resist and how that’s been the struggle all along. I’ve always resisted anything good for me and willingly opened myself up to the things that’d hurt. But thank God for grace and His patience…
He’s taken me on what I call “the redemption tour” — meaning God has literally taken me back to places I once had really horrible memories and has retraced them with His loving thread of redemption, replacing them with good memories…Vegas is included in this. Had the coolest worship experience in a a church in Las Vegas two years ago. God always knew the girl walk of shaming out of a hotel would one day walk through church doors and lift her hands high in worship…
Healing has come through God’s Word, community, and through the body of Christ. I understand some people have been hurt by the church but it was the church and the people in it that God used to help me through healing and continues to use. Their love and support, kindness accountability, intentionality and care.
Also, for me specifically healing began through photography, giving me something to take the focus off me, literally — and discipleship.
However, it is Jesus who worked this skill set in. HE IS THE HEALER. It’s Jesus. Knowing Him intimately and letting Him in to the precious parts of your heart.
Correction** I mention a verse being from Ephesians in the episode. It is actually from Philippians and the verses I’m referring to are Philippians 2:1-5.
God really ministered this to my h
Chris and Jessica on Sex, Soul Ties and God's Redeeming Love
Chris and Jessica share insight into the importance of purity, how and why God designed sex for marriage, the power of soul ties while highlighting how God's redemption reaches our most broken, messy parts and pasts and the beautiful way He uses marriage to bind up these delicate parts of our pasts.
6:00- 11:50 — They talk about the first year of marriage and taking down the expectations they first had.
11:50-14:20 How they met. The actual greatest story! Jessica spotted Chris on a reality TV show and 4 years later, they connected.
14:20 - 17:40 Prior to committing their lives to Jesus, Chris and Jess dated for 3 years. They open up about what the basis of their relationship was — sex. But did they really know each other?
“Looking back I can’t figure out how or why we started having sex. Did we feel love for each other? Fast forward, to when we stopped having sex we found out new ways to love each other, to communicate beyond just the act of having sex. It’s not even a connection or intimacy, it’s really just empty pleasure. We didn’t even have a relationship with each other. It was just that. We didn’t know who the other was” — Jessica
“Before Jesus, we see sex as for yourself.
You get your self gratification, you get your sex, and that’s it. That’s what we know now, this wasn’t what we knew back then.” -Chris
17:40 Jessica let Chris go after a 3 years of dating because of what she realized as she began seeking a relationship with Jesus.
Finding Jesus became more important than any intimate relationship Jessica had with Chris when they were just dating and that’s what really spoke to him…he thought, “You’re willing to choose someone in some old book over me? I’m standing right here in front of you? You want to shut off this pleasure that’s going on?”- Chris
“It was a battle and it took time. Because there was a person in front of me. Jesus became real the more I looked…the more I sought Him. For a long time, I thought, ‘Okay, if something happens between us then I can fully dive into my relationship with God.
I knew that’s what I should be doing, but I kept falling into the same old, ‘But this is my boyfriend…’ and twisting the words in the Bible. And thought, ‘Well one day I want to marry him, so that means he’s my husband.’ But there was a point God said, “He’s not your husband, he hasn’t committed that. And I realized, my husband could have been somewhere else.” - Jessica.
“There came a point where I just said, Lord, take him. Take him away, this is my chance to just walk with You and not be distracted. If he’s not my husband, just let him be that guy that leaves it that way.” -Jessica
When he came back around, if I was going to allow him back in my life I had to be honest with him. I had to tell him I wasn’t going to pursue a relationship with a man that isn’t a man of God — and that means more than just putting it in your bio. It’s walking in his purpose, being convicted with what the Word of God says, leading her to Christ, not drawing her to you.” - Jessica
“It’s not just about saying “God first”, it’s actually putting God first and letting Him transform you.” - Chris
“Sex was what was stopping me from walking truly with hIm and the purpose he had for me.” — Jessica
22:00 God’s definition of a relationship.
It wasn’t until we talked about this, that the true purpose of our relationship finally started revealing itself.” - Jessica
“So we put Him first and tried to understand what His definition of a relationship was or is instead of our own understanding of what a relationship is” — Chris
“We’re fallen, we’re always going to define things. It’s so important to go back to the Bible, and what the Bible defines what marriage is, what a relationship is, how it should be, we can try to define it so many ways but it’s always going to be imperfect bc we’re imperfect people. The Bib
Marty and Lore on Marriage, Restoration and the Word of God
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Today’s resource recommendations (outside of the Bible):
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
Daily Light Devotional with commentary by Anne Graham Lotz
One of the most important things they share for married couples is praying about serving the Lord together. Both Marty and Lore felt they wanted to serve God together and the Lord worked it all out and its been an absolute blessing.
Testimony:
Lore —
“It was my marriage falling apart, that brought me to the Lord. I had the attitude that I was never going to get married again but thankfully, God had other plans.
I was very successful in career back then, plenty of money, plenty of wining and dining, that’s not what the Lord counts as good. Very thankful things are different now.
God took those things before — it was taking those things away that brought me to my knees. That those things didn’t matter, it was the Lord that mattered. I was left divorced, “three kids and a mini van”.
Marty —
”Non-believer, didn’t do anything right, got married had a few kids. There was lots of arguing and we both started seeking the Lord, and then she walked away, left me a single dad. The more I was drawing near to the Lord, she was drawing away from me. I felt she never forgave me.
I was not looking for anybody. In the first marriage, in Genesis God brought a wife to Adam.”
Being previously married, what makes this marriage different?
Marty —
The bottom line is the Lord is in it. God created the Heavens and the earth, He created mankind and He’s the one who created man and who said it was not good that man be alone and created marriage. And then He gave us the Bible , gave us the rulebook. He gave us The power of the Holy Spirit to live the Christian life, he gave us prayer so we can communicate with God, he gave us the church if we have any challenge, he’s given us everything.
Lore —
Marriage does take work, it’s dying to self. If we have disagreements it doesn’t take long before the Holy Spirit convicts us. There’s no use arguing, we need to figure out the way God wants us to and see each other as a blessing that God has given us.
Marty —
Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, which is an unconditional sacrificial love just like Jesus had for us when he went on the cross. And a wife is meant to respect her husband as the church respects Jesus and when you do your part its just glorious.
If your mate isn’t doing their part, if you’re doing your part it often inspires the other to do the same.
Lore —
You see the Lord building your relationship. Instead of you struggling or striving to build it, you see the Lord building it.
Marty —
Because of our past, we have a passion for marriage. We really d
Erin and Robert on God's Timing and The Call To Missions
June's testimony behind the matrimony is featuring Erin and Robert Zaglago. Both Erin and Robert made it their priority to serve God first, develop their individual relationship with Him before seeking marriage and eventually their paths crossed as Erin followed Jesus to Ghana, Africa where she met Robert.
One "glory to God" moment Robert shares: Robert: "There are honestly so many that it would be hard to choose. When we were first married, as we stated, neither of us had a job and a little money saved. We had to apply for my Green Card- which was not cheap. And the Lord spoke to someone to give the EXACT amount that was needed. Also our son is a miracle."
I love the way they share their individual walks of faith, both so different and unique and how amazing to see God sharpen the other through the way they each see Him. Plus, we hear about the ministry God is calling them to in Zambia where they will soon be moving.
These two are missionaries who love Jesus with their whole heart’s and they share with us how God got hold of their hearts at different points in their lives — Robert when we was in junior high and Erin when she was in her early twenties. Something powerfully shared through each of their testimonies is the grace of God in His revealing Himself to us through His Holy Spirit. I’m reminded that it’s never too early to begin serving God with your life. God raised Robert up from a young age and Robert set his mind and heart on serving Jesus. It’s not about “some day”, but “this day” and how we will choose to respond to the Holy Spirit moving in our hearts. The choice is ours, He’s given us freewill. May this be the day of your salvation or recommitment if you have yet to give your life to Christ or have fallen away from Him for a time.
May the knowledge of His love go from your head to your heart, a softening of your heart toward Him as you sense Him speaking to your heart to just trust Him and surrender all. Be blessed!
More info of the ministry and organization they will be leading can be found on: www.bofheaven.org
Adriana and Norm Share Their Marriage Story and Their Fostering To Adopt Journey
They also touch on their marriage story and share how the Lord has called them to foster to adopt 3 babies all under the age of 3 within the last 2 years. Plus, some exciting news to celebrate with them this month! Stay tuned.
Andrea and Elliott on Vulnerability, Intentionality and Communication in Marriage
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Nelli and Art Pavlenko on Marriage and Waiting on God
“What have you learned about God’s heart as you’ve been married?”
”What are some hurtles you’ve had that you’ve had to overcome as a husband and wife?”
”How has keeping Christ at the center changed everything?”
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Rick and Michele Andersen Marriage Testimony
It was the virtue of Michele’s roommates and the grace they extended her which allowed her to see them as set apart and as God’s daughters and seeing that in such a pure way caused her to desire to seek after God more by seeing their example. Hear how God transformed both Rick and Michele from the inside out and brought them together in their amazing testimony of their matrimony.
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Mitch and Maria Vorobets Marriage Testimony
