The Married Life
By Joe Angelo
The Married LifeNov 07, 2023
Blue Prints of Marriage 3
What are you going to do when your marriage has to get rid of waste?
Having a healthy outlet is important. Counselors and pastors are always great resources if you are not able to communicate properly with your spouse. But what we should never do is vent and complain to our friends and family about our spouses. They will most likely take your side in each situation but also you will transfer your bitterness and frustration to them as well.
Take some time right now to decide where your safe places are for you and your spouse. Do you have a counselor that you have both decided on? If there are elders or pastors in the church for the both of you to talk to together and separate? Decide now so that WHEN arguments and disagreements happen, you know exactly where you are going to turn.
Take some time right now to pray and ask the Lord these first questions separately.
What are my passions? If money wasn’t an object, what would I do every day?
What do I want to say I’ve accomplished at the end of my life?
Blueprints of Marriage 2: Foundation
Hey welcome to the married life!
Step 1: Research and hire the building team
One of the most important decisions in building the home of your dreams is choosing the right team for what you want to build.
If you want a strong healthy marriage, you need to surround yourself with a good support system. Since the 5 people (or marriages) you surround yourself with are who you will be in the future, who are the friends that you are going to hang around? Will you see a counselor regularly? Who are you going to talk to when you need to? Are you going to get plugged into a church and a small group? Talk about these things now. List names and frequencies.
Step 2. Clear the property, level the site, and prepare the foundation
Before you build a house, the land that you purchase must first be cleared and removed of any debris, vegetation, trees, bush and rocks.
In your marriage, forgiveness and the things from the past need to be cleared out and up rooted before you can build a vision and future. Use this time right now to humble yourself, ask for forgiveness and really talk about the issues that are holding you back from moving forward in your marriage. Allow your spouse to share anything that has caused them to have unforgiveness in their hearts too. Create a safe place where you can share your thoughts and feelings.
Step 3. Pour the Foundation
Your home will have either a slab foundation, a crawlspace, or a full basement poured or constructed. The concrete will also go through a curing process to reach maximum strength.
You will need to decide what the foundation of your home is. What will the basic foundation of your marriage be when everything you thought you had control over, falls apart, what are you going to lean on when you feel like life is crushing you, or if everything is stripped away from you, what do you want to have left? Our life is not set in stone, and we do not have control over our lives. So what is the foundation in your marriage?
For us, it’s scripture and prayer. We believe the whole Bible in its entirety. We have certain scripture that we hold on to when life gets hard, jobs are uncertain or our children are not looking like the fruit of the seed we planted. If you are a bible believing Christian, we believe that this is something that should be essential in your marriage.
October 14-18, 2024.
https://form.123formbuilder.com/6533514/keeping-it-hot-2024
Zoom every Tuesday night at 6pm
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/88127652268?pwd=Djw1KhFckaOxYksvq1gQWhznSMwq3m.1
Meeting ID: 881 2765 2268
Passcode: 402400
Blueprints of Marriage
The Blueprints of Marriage:
A blueprint is a guide for making something — it's a design or pattern that can be followed.
This Blueprint isn’t just for your marriage, it’s for your children. This is an investment that you’re going to pass down from generation to generation. You teach what you know, but You duplicate who you are. So the blueprint of your marriage isn’t just for you to follow, but your children and your children’s children.
Royal Caribbean Cruise // October 14-18, 2024.
https://form.123formbuilder.com/6533514/keeping-it-hot-2024
Join us live on zoom every Tuesday night at 6pm Pacific time.
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/88127652268?pwd=Djw1KhFckaOxYksvq1gQWhznSMwq3m.1
Meeting ID: 881 2765 2268
Passcode: 402400
Marriage Q&A: How do I give 100% when my spouse gives 25%
50% OFF SALE! Use Promo Code: Christmas
Marriage Q&A: How do I give 100% when my spouse gives 25%Welcome to The Married Life!
Also we have a 50% OFF SALE right now for Christmas on our website.
Check out our
Use Promo Code: Christmas
Gift Ideas for Every Love Language Type
Struggling to get your spouse a gift? Do you know their love language? Today we break down each language and what gift that language would enjoy the most!
Welcome to The Married Life
50% OFF SALE! Use Promo Code: Christmas
Also we have a 50% OFF SALE right now for Christmas on our website.
Check out our
Use Promo Code: Christmas
The No. 1 thing that makes relationships successful (From a psychologists who studied 40,000 couples)
50% OFF SALE! Use Promo Code: Christmas
The No. 1 thing that makes relationships successful (From a psychologists who studied 40,000 couples)
A psychologist has studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy.
In a lab study they were able to predict with 94% accuracy whether a marriage would last — after observing the couples for just 15 minutes. One of the biggest determining factors was how often a couple “turned toward” their partner instead of “turning away.”
What does that mean? To turn towards and not away? When would we do that?
Today we break it down and what that looks like.
Welcome to The Married Life!
Also we have a 50% OFF SALE right now for Christmas on our website.
Check out our
Use Promo Code: Christmas
Live Q&A // Questions you're asking yourself but don't know what to do.
Live Q&A // Questions you're asking yourself but don't know what to do.
The 4 Killers of Marriage...and How To Kill Them Before They Take Out Your Marriage.
The 4 Killers of Marriage are easy to see, but hard to stop. We have to recognize them and hold ourselves accountable. Here are the 4 and ways to fight them.
Welcome to The Married Life
How To Honor Your Spouse / Q&A
Pastor Shannon O'dell has a new book out and Krissy and I are diving into it to invest in our own marraige. He hits on 10 ways to honor your spouse and we want to share that with you.
Honoring your spouse is easier said than done especially when you’re at the end of your rope. So how do we honor? Here are 10 practical ways to honor your spouse and see God move in your marriage!
This content is from Pastor Shannon O'dells new book "40,000 Words on Marriage and Parenting".
Get your book here
3 Things Every Marriage Needs / Live Q&A
Add these 3 things to your marriage to see your marriage thrive!
Plus we do live Q&A to answer your marriage questions.
Want to invest in your marriage? Check out our eCourse and Marriage Coaching and other free resources.
A Question To Ask When You Feel Stuck / Q&A
Do you feel stuck right now? Or have you in the past and didn't know what to do. We are going to dive into a simple question that you can ask yourself when your feeling stuck.
Welcome to The Married Life.
Change This To See Your Marriage Better Daily / Tiktok Q&A
What is one thing you an do today to see your marriage strengthened? Speak positive uplifting words to your spouse! Do words matter? The words that you speak, or write or text to your spouse? the Bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue. If that is true, is your marriage dead or alive?
Set up Your Week for Success! / TikTok Live Q&A
Have you ever got out of sync with your spouse? Whether the calendar, vision, date nights, sex, disciplining the kids? Here is the fix, a Marriage Meeting. Now we don't actually like calling them a meeting because they aren't boring, but they are useful for setting the marriage up for a win, week to week.
Why have a Marriage Meeting?
- You’ll go deeper on things you're already talking about.
- You’ll open up on things you keep meaning to mention but you keep forgetting or because you’ve felt uncomfortable.
- They ensure you're on the same page
- It creates greater connection and intimacy
- You get ahead of potential conflicts
More Info:
https://linktr.ee/themarriedlife
Free Sticky Notes!
https://themarriedlife.samcart.com/products/free-i-love-sticky-note
How To Relax In Marriage
Marriage can be stressful. Family life can be stressful. So when we hit Labor Day, how do we relax as a husband and wife? How do we relax with littles running around? We are answering those questions plus more from TikTok Live.
Welcome to The Married Life
Were talking about sex and answering Q&A LIVE
Sex is a huge part in marriage. How much? How often? Who should engage? Whats ok? So today were talking about it and answer your questions live!
Welcome to The Married Life.
Who Comes First? Your spouse or the Kids?
As Marriage Coaches and Pastors we often face the issues when a spouse doesn't feel prioritized over the kids. What is the right answer? Who comes first? Spouse or kids? Today we answer that question on TikTok Live and take Questions.
Thanks for joining
Welcome to The Married Life
Rip Up The List
Do you have a list in your mind of all the things your spouse needs to do? House chores, helping with the kids, amount of sex you want to have, etc. Or maybe you have a list from the past. Ways they have hurt you or broken trust.
On this Episode we will talk about how to Rip Up The List and focus on the future of your marriage.
Welcome to The Married Life.
Visit themarriedlife.org for more resources.
Do These 3 Things & Get Immediate Results
You are what you repeatedly do. Don’t say you want a good marriage. Say I am a good wife. I am a good husband. Then put systems in that a good spouse would do. Serve. Plan date nights. Make adjustments to your schedule to benefit each other.
On this months Episode we look at the 3 things that you can start doing today to make an impact in your marriage and life immediately.
Resources
- Join our Text Community. Text us at 833-488-2215
- In February we are starting a Goals & Systems Course that will take place on zoom once a month. Click here to find out more.
- Looking for a new journal? Krissy designed one just for your story! "The Best Story Ever Written" is now available on Amazon. Click here.
- Looking to focus on your health this year but no sure how to start? Joe developed a workout log just for you. "Your Not So Basic Workout Log" is now available on Amazon. Click here.
- Want to donate to The Married Life? Click here
Routines: Spiritual
Life gets crazy...especially in the summer when routines get out of sync.
So on this episode of The Married Life we talk about getting back in sync with routines.
We will have 4 teachings on routines. The first one being your Spiritual Routine.
Without a Spiritual Routine, your marriage will suffer. But we have the solution.
Welcome to The Married Life.
If you appreciate the free resource we are giving you, you can give a gift at https://www.themarriedlife.org
Little Things That Can Destroy A Marriage EP: 91
Sometimes it's the littlest things that can add up to the biggest issues in our marriage. How do we see what those little issues are? Today we take a look in the book of Song of Solomon and dive into what the "little foxes" are. Welcome to The Married Life.
How To Win A Fight With Your Spouse EP: 90
How To Win A Fight With Your Spouse. We all fight with our spouses. It's part of marriage. But how do you win the fight? And what is winning the fight. Today we take a look at how to Fight in Marriage. Welcome to The Married Life
The Contract in Marriage: Episode 89
Have you signed a contract in marriage that you're ready to break? Or do you see it as a covenant between you, your spouse and God? What do you do when marriage gets hard, and the only thing between you and the door is a piece of paper? On todays episode we dive into Song of Solomon part 6 and learn about the Vow we made on our wedding day. Welcome to The Married Life.
Sex EP:88
He wants more sex, she's stressed out. What do you do if you are on the opposite pages when it comes to sex? What does the Bible say about sex? We will see as we dive into Song of Solomon part 5! Welcome to The Married Life!
Dating EP: 87
Do you still date your mate? You should? What does the Bible say about dating? We will see as we dive into Song of Solomon part 4! Welcome to The Married Life!
Characteristics of a Godly Woman Part 2 EP: 86
We're going to be going through the Book Song of Solomon over the next few weeks. This is week 2 of focusing on what it looks like to be a godly woman. Welcome to The Married Life!
Characteristics of a Godly Woman EP: 85
We're going to be going through the Book Song of Solomon over the next few weeks. This week we're focusing on what it looks like to be a godly woman. Welcome to The Married Life!
Characteristics of a Godly Man EP: 84
We're going to be going through the Book Song of Solomon over the next few weeks. This week we're focusing on what it looks like to be a godly man. Welcome to The Married Life!
Mind Control: EP 83
Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you have to keep it. What are you thinking on about yourself, about your spouse, about your life? Its time to think on the right things, take control of your mind. Welcome to the married life.
How To Build Up EP:82
Marriage is like being a carpenter, we are supposed to build up. But often time it's easier to be like a demolition man and tare things down. In this episode we will talk about how to build each other up to achieve the marriage you desire.
Friends with Benefits: EP 81
How did you and your spouse end up together? You where probably friends before anything else. Have you lost that part of your relationship? Do you want to become best friends? On todays episode we talk about getting back to becoming friends with benefits in marriage.
Guess Who's Back!: Ep 80
After a year off of the Married Life Podcast, we are back with more resources than ever. A new website, themarriedlife.org, new blogs, new videos, coaching and more! It feels good to be back!
Kanye West EP: 79
Yea, we named the episode Kanye West. Why? Because it is evident that his life has changed. The way he speaks, raps, leads his family, it has all changed. The question for you and I in our marriage is, does our life look as different as his?
Can your wife look at you and say "My husband looks like Jesus."
Or when you look at your wife do you say "You give me more grace than I deserve."
Our life should look differently daily as we pursue Christ and our spouse daily. If we look like the same husband or wife from last year, we haven't been taking steps to grow and serve our spouse better.
Today on the Podcast we are going to talk about how Kanye's life looks totally different, and how you and I can and should always be striving to look more like Jesus.
Welcome to The Married Life
Sweet as Honey EP:78
When you think of honey, what do you think of? Sweet? Sticky? Soft? What if our words to our spouse was like that? Sweet, stick and soft. Instead of honey sometimes our words are sharp, hard and hurtful. On todays Podcast we dive into how to communicate to your spouse the good over the bad and to focus on what you want most in your relationship.
Welcome to The Married Life
Sweet things to tell your spouse:
- Thanks for doing the dishes
- Thanks for making dinner. It was delicious.
- Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen
- Thanks for bathing the children.
- Thanks for doing the laundry.
- Thanks for supporting me when I talked about my __________
- Thanks for listening to how my day went
- I really appreciated you being so affectionate lately (give specifics)
- You look great in that.
- Thanks for listening to the married life podcast with me
- Thanks for talking to me
- I am really proud of you. (Give specifics)
- Thank you for desiring me (ladies)
- You are a great kisser
- Thank you for getting that fixed
- Thank you for taking the kids to the park
4 Responsibilities in Marriage Part 2 EP:76
Last week on the podcast we talked about
1. Managing the train
and
2. Laying the tracks forward.
This week we hit on numbers 3 and 4 of the 4 Responsibilities in Marriage. Today we are going to give practical tips to do with each other to make your marriage even better! It's going to be a fun podcast!
Welcome to The Married Life.
4 Responsibilities in Marriage EP:75
On todays episode we breakdown 2 of 4 practical points to help your marriage thrive. These are tips you can do on a date night, when the kids go to bed, even driving in the car. Sometimes we over complicate a healthy marriage when really we just need to be responsible for our marriage. Today we dive into the 4 responsibilities in marriage.
Welcome to The Married Life.
S.O.A.P. EP:74
Before Krissy and I are devoted to each other, we are devoted to Jesus. We tried a relationship without Him before and it was horrible. We do a simple method for growing our relationship with Jesus daily that we think might help you out too. Incase you are wondering, how to read the Bible or pray, here is quick "how to" grow with Christ.
Welcome to The Married Life
The Basics EP:73
Sometimes in a marriage we forget how we got there. What it was like when we first started. What made us fall in love. What causes us to continue to fight for this. Sometimes we have to go back to basics.
On today's podcast that is exactly what we hit on. We get open and vulnerable as we show our weaknesses and how we keep it basic to stay strong.
Welcome to The Married Life.
The Comparison Trap EP:72
Ever look at that other relationship and think, "We will never be that in love." or "My spouses doesn't do that for me." Ever get caught up comparing your relationship to others? Especially in a social media world now when everyone is putting out their highlight reel but hiding their trash.
There is a book in the Bible called Galatians. In the contemporary english version Galatians 6:4 says
'Do your own work well, and then you will have something to be proud of. But don't compare yourself with others. '
Do you work work well. You have specific calling on your life to do well. Not what others are doing and comparing yourself to it. But to know what God created you to do, and do it well.
On todays Episode we are going to dive into that and help you know what God has for you in your life and how you can avoid the comparison trap.
Welcome to The Married Life!
Book references:
The Expectation Gap EP: 71
Ever have expectations in your marriage that aren’t met?
Have you got the new job that isn't what you expected and now your bringing home that weight? Did you expect a weekly date night that your husband has forgotten about multiple times? Did you think your sex life wouldn't die down like this?
Sometimes we have things mapped out in our heads of how they are going to go and they go the opposite way. So how do we respond in marriage when our expectations aren’t met?
Welcome to The Married Life.
Show Links:
The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery
Marriage and Money Part 2 EP:70
We know money in marriage can cause fights, thats why we are doing this podcast. Last week we started the talk on money and marriage and giving some tips how to get on the same page. Today we continue that talk to help you and your spouse have the best marriage possible.
Welcome to The Married Life.
Marriage and Money Part 1 EP: 69
One of the biggest causes for fighting and divorce in marriage is money and we get that. You're not taught in school how to budget money. You're not taught that your spouse sees spending money differently than you do. You're not sure how much to save, how much to give, how to even start a budget (whats a budget?) So today Krissy and I (Joe), want to help you with your money problems. And maybe you don't even have money problems, then lets work on a system that will keep it that way, not just assume it will always be that way.
Welcome to The Married Life
Enneagram Test Part 2. EP:68
Ever think you and your spouse are so different and you just can't understand why he does that, or why she feels that way? On todays podcast we continue with the Enneagram test, a personality test that will help you and your spouse understand one another better. We discuss what happens when your unhealthy, your "wing" and give some resources on how to maximize knowing your personality.
Welcome to The Married Life
Links
Personalities in relationship with one another - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/the-enneagram-type-combinations
The Test - https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test
Book - The Road Back To You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery
Enneagram Test Part 1: EP:67
On this week’s podcast we are taking a test. I know the words no man ever wants to hear lol. But this test will help you know yourself better and your spouse! It’s called the enneagram test. You may have taken it and if you haven’t but your spouses hasn’t have them take it. It’s a fun test to talk about, won’t take long (Krissy took hers on the way to a cubs game in 10 minutes). Plus there is a book called The Road Back To You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron.
Welcome to The Married Life
Link
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test
https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190
Fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse. EP:66
On todays episode we have some fun by asking each other some random questions. We actually did this on our way back from a Cubs game and thought other couples would have fun asking these questions to their spouses. Check out our answers then plan to ask your spouse some of these fun questions on your next date night.
Welcome to The Married Life.
Questions to ask:
What’s a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try?
What would you do with a week of solitary confinement?
How many days could you go without electricity?
If you went on a game what would it be?
Do you think that you would be a good politician?
What is something you hated as a kid but now you appreciate?
Did you ever do something that sent you to the principals office?
If you had a clone, how would you most utilize them?
Did you ever make up a secret hand shake with a friend and do you remember it?
If safety wasn’t a concern, what natural disaster would you want to experience?
Would you rather put together a 20,000 piece puzzle or read a dictionary cover-to-cover?
What is your favorite date of ours?
Scott Kedersha on 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have. EP: 65
Welcome to episode 65 of the podcast! We have counseled many couples who get married before asking important questions to one another. Questions on faith, sex, family background, budgeting, kids and more. In Scott Kedersha's book "Ready or Knot" he hands out the questions all couples should ask each other before marriage and during marriage. Scott discusses some of those questions today and how you can start having those conversations with your spouse. You can also get a free chapter of his book right here to go deeper into 1 of the questions.
Welcome to The Married Life.
How to have a Fierce Marriage with Ryan and Selena Frederick EP:64
On todays Podcast we have Ryan and Selena Frederick of Fierce Marriage. They are podcasters, bloggers, and authors of 4 books working on their 5th and have a reading plan on the bible app. They started Fierce Marriage to help couples process through marriage’s trials as well as celebrate its joys. You will love this couple!
Welcome to
The Married Life
Marriage Habits EP:63
Have you ever wondered, why God put you together? Because there is a difference between why your together and why God put you together. He put you together for a reason, He intends for your marriages to have an identity.
This week on the podcast Krissy and I discuss how live out the identity God intends our marriages to have by forming habits in our marriages. We dive into a book we recently read together called Atomic Habits by James Clear and pull out some principles that any couple can apply to their marriage.
Welcome to The Married Life
An interview with the President of Marriage Today Ministries - Brent Evans Part 2 EP:62
This is part 2 of our interview with Brent Evans, the president of Marriage Today Ministries. Marriage Today was started by Jimmy and Karen Evans who have gone onto write books, host conferences, have a daily TV show and much more. Now there son Brent has stepped into lead the organization and take it to places it has never gone. Brent shares what he is seeing in the landscape America right now and shares what he sees working and what hasn't been working. Get ready for an inside look at what some of the most successful people in marriage ministry are doing to have their marriages thrive.
Welcome to The Married Life!
An Interview with the President of Marriage Today Ministries - Brent Evans Part 1 EP:61
We are so excited to have Brent Evans on the Podcast today. Brent is the son of Jimmy and Karen Evans, the founders of Marriage Today. Brent also leads up their XO Marriage Conference and Podcast. One of the reasons Krissy and I (Joe) are where we are today is because of the Evans family and the investments they make into marriages. All of their material is gold so make sure you check them out online. It is a true honor to be able to interview him for two Podcasts and pick his brain on all that he sees going on in marriage around the country today.
Welcome to The Married Life
An Interview with Kwan and Beth Porter Part 2 EP:60
Whats up guys and welcome to the married life. This week is part 2 of our interview with Kwan and Beth Porter. On today’s podcast they are hitting on speaking life and what is the posture of our hearts. It was a great conversation with an amazing couple who didn’t have it together and still don’t have it together but are choosing to grow daily. We hope this interview inspires you to be more vulnerable with your spouse and draw closer together than before.
Welcome to the married life.