The What If? Podcast
By Spencer Wirth-Davis & Ryan Kopperud
The What If? PodcastSep 09, 2020
Ep. #247: What If You Ran Until You Hallucinated?
In the last 30 years, more than 1,000 people have attempted the Barkley Marathons, but only 20 have finished under the 60-hour time limit.
Sources:
Hallucinations and no sleep: Jasmin Paris on her historic ultramarathon
Jasmin Paris first woman to complete grueling Barkley Marathons race
Ep. #246: What If You Stole a Hotel?
In 2018, Mickey Barreto checked into a hotel. Over the next five years he refused to leave, briefly owned the hotel, tried to take down an international cult, and got arrested.
Sources:
The Hotel Guest Who Wouldn’t Leave
The History of The New Yorker Hotel
A loophole got New York City man a free hotel stay for five years until he claimed to own the building
How to Fake-Own the New Yorker Hotel
Missing 411 David Paulides Presents Missing Person Cases from Montana & Oregon
What If We Helped Bear?
Our guy bear needs some help! He was in a bad motorcycle accident and won't be able to work for a few months while he recovers. Bear's brought us many, many joys over the years and it's the least we can do to give back a little. If you can afford to spare a couple bucks please do!
Ok, thank you, we love you. Bear loves you. We love Bear. And we'll be back with a full episode next Saturday (4/6). See ya soon!
Ep. #245 - What If David Grusch Is Right?
Hi! We're catching up about the past 5 months and discussing David Grusch's UAP claims.
Ep. #244 - What If We Sampled the Buffet of Weird?
We've got a bunch of topics today and we kinda get to all of them. Miley Cyrus saw a flying snowplow, Jeremy Corbell started a podcast, somebody's cutting off the internet, Ruby Tuesdays are popping up outta nowhere, there's a mysterious celebrity on some curtains, and Ryan's buying more websites.
Ep. #243 - What If the Sky Was Full of "Objects"?
We hosted a little live hang out with friends and listeners to discuss the balloons and objects that have been spotted (and shot down) over North America recently. We also talked about Warped Tour, Gucci's Loose Wings, and DJing middle school dances.
Ep. #242 - What If You Fell Out Of a Blimp?
On August 16, 1942 a U.S. Navy blimp took off from Treasure Island, just outside San Francisco. Five hours later it crashed 11 miles away in Daly City, CA with no one aboard. The two men aboard the blimp were never found.
Ep. #241 - What If You Went On a Treasure Hunt?
Spencer is using his penchant for conspiratorial thinking for good and trying to find buried treasure in St. Paul. Ryan is cold. No one is talking about blimps.
We're doing a live call-in show on Monday, 2/13! Join us here!
Ep. #240 - What If You Stole a Bunch of Books?
Last year, Filippo Bernardini was arrested at New York's JFK airport and charged with wire fraud and aggravated identity theft for stealing over 1,000 unpublished and draft manuscripts from authors and publishers around the world. Strangely, it doesn't appear that Bernardini ever tried to profit from the thefts–the works were never leaked or sold, and no clear motive has been identified. Lucky for you, your two favorite dum dums are on the case!
References:
The Bizarre, Unsolved Mystery of Filippo Bernardini and the Stolen Book Manuscripts
Italian Citizen Arrested In Online Impersonation Scheme...
The End of a Book World Mystery: A Suspect in Manuscript Thefts to Plead Guilty
Ryan's new record, Before What Came After, is out now. Go give it a listen!
Ep. #239 - What If You Lived In the Valley of the Skookum?
Sali Sheppard-Wolford really went for it with her 2006 book Valley of the Skookum: Four Years of Encounters with Bigfoot. There's bigfoot, sure, but there are also UFOs, government conspiracies, poltergeist activity, time travel, astral travel, men in black, psychic warfare, flying tombstones, and phantom trains. This book has it all!
Ryan's new record, Before What Came After, comes out this Friday!
Ep. #238 - What If Underwater Aliens Stole Some Elk?
We're joined by Rob Kristoffersen of Our Strange Skies to break down the latest documentary from our least favorite investigator, Davey Copface.
References:
S.J. OFFICER ACCUSED OF FALSE SOLICITATION AUTOGRAPHS
Assault Suspect Says S.J. Police Beat Him
Ray Salmen:
Family of B.C. drowning victim turns to recovery team from Idaho for help
Man declared missing after campsite found abandoned
Idaho couple hired to find missing Kitsilano man
DeOrr Kunz:
Kunz investigator: Jessica Mitchell knows where DeOrr’s body is
Private investigator issues lengthy report on DeOrr Kunz case
Carl Higdon:
Alien Abduction of The Wyoming Hunter
Charles Gustafson:
Beltrami man missing after hunting trip
Mark Strittmatter:
Remains of Elk Hunter Missing Since 2019 Recovered in Wyoming
Reinhard Kirchner:
Missing Person / NamUs #MP35447
EXPERIENCED HIKER GOES MISSING IN REMOTE SECTION OF NAVAJO WILDERNESS
Hypnotic recall:
Scientific Status of Refreshing Recollection by the Use of Hypnosis
Hypnosis, Delayed Recall, and the Principles of Memory
The use of hypnosis to enhance recall
Other:
German-Americans make up the largest self-reported ancestry group within the United States
Ep. #237 - What If The World Ended In 2012?
Some people thought the world was going to end on December 21, 2012. Ten years later, we're taking a look back at what people were expecting.
Check out Ryan's new EP, Before What Came After, releasing January 20th.
Watch The Race to Alaska (with an original score from Spencer). “Bracing, immersive and wonderfully congenial, this film is a tribute to the spirit of adventure.”
- Vancouver International Film Festival
Dang! That's Weird - Lizard Men, Gnomes, and UFOs with Rob Kristoffersen
The first three episodes of Spencer's new podcast, Dang! That's Weird are out now. Enjoy this episode with the one and only Rob Kristoffersen of Our Strange Skies, and subscribe to Dang! That's Weird on your favorite podcast app.
Some things just can't be explained. Like a bipedal human-sized lizard carrying an orb through the Adirondacks.
Today we're talking with Rob Kristoffersen, host of Our Strange Skies, about one of the stranger stories I've ever heard.
Have a story you'd like featured on the show? Send an email to spencer@dangthatsweird.com or leave a voicemail at (612) 208-2744.
Dang! That's Weird is a production of Du Vide Media. Check out all our great shows here!
The Layers Lair - Let's meet the bakers!
The Layers Lair is back for season 2, and that means the GBBO competition is back too! Spencer and Katie break each episode of the Great British Bake Off, try to understand British slang, and have a dang blast along the way. Check out this first episode, subscribe to The Layers Lair, and get your entries in for week 1 of the competition!
Ep. #236 - What If Google Made a Sentient Robot?
hi! we recorded a new episode!
This week we're talking about Google's LaMDA language program and Blake Lemoine, the Google engineer who thinks it's sentient.
Ep. #235 - What If We Reviewed Our Own Podcast?
Last January, we recorded an episode about a weird movie called Quantum Quest: A Cassini Space Odyssey. We took it down after about a week because we decided to do a bigger project about it. That project turned into a podcast called Finding Quantum Quest. Now, more than a year later, we look back at that original episode to see what we got right, what we got wrong, and where we just missed the mark completely.
Note: This episode contains TONS of spoilers for Finding Quantum Quest. If you haven't listened to Finding Quantum Quest yet, but intend to, make sure to do that first.
Ep. #234 - What If We Returned to the Tingleverse?
OH BOY. We have a very special episode for you this week. We're returning to the Tingleverse and we brought a few friends with us. Ryan and Chance York are reprising their roles as Young Baby Sir Plinkington the bad boy unicorn and Scaly the Blue the velociraptor wizard, and they're joined by Lydia Liza aka Smorgas Bord the true buckaroo and Eric Mayson aka Lump T. Brandon the charming bigfoot.
Please check out Lydia Liza on Patreon where she's releasing a song a day all throughout 2022, listen to Eric Mayson's incredible music, and watch Chance York's new TV show Outside Chance on TPT Twin Cities.
Ep. #233 - What If There Were Skinwalkers at the Pentagon?
We're selling houses, watching 90s movies, and reading books about dinobeavers! This week we're discussing the new book from George Knapp, James Lacatski, and Colm Kelleher, Skinwalkers at the Pentagon.
Make sure to check out Finding Quantum Quest. Episode 4 drops tomorrow!
Ep. #232 - What If You Were the Devil's Dad?
Jack Parsons had a hell of a life. He summoned the devil into his bedroom when he was 13, helped invent modern rocketry, performed sex magick rituals with L. Ron Hubbard, and then blew himself up in his garage. He also co-founded JPL.
Episode 3 of Finding Quantum Quest drops tomorrow! Go listen and subscribe right the heck now!
Ep. #231 - What If You Dug A Tunnel?
Some people just gotta dig!
Seymour Cray dug tunnels so the elves could finish his coding. William Lyttle said of his tunneling "there is great beauty in inventing things that serve no purpose". Elton McDonald was "getting away from regular things, away from life. Nothing in particular. Just life itself.”
Episode 1 of Finding Quantum Quest is out now, and episode 2 drops tomorrow! Go listen, subscribe, and share!
Introducing Finding Quantum Quest
Hi friends! Our brand new podcast Finding Quantum Quest debuted this week and we wanted to share the first episode with you. The show follows our search for a lost animated sci-fi movie that was commissioned by NASA and starts Chris Pine, John Travolta, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Neil Armstrong, Amanda Peet, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Hamill, and a ton of other A-list actors. It's a wild ride!
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to Finding Quantum Quest wherever you listen to podcasts.
Love you, bye!
Ep. #230 - What If The Veggie Man Sucked Your Blood?
OH HEY! We're back with stories of creepy cryptids from West Virginia, Ohio, and Maryland. We've got the Snallygaster, the Veggie Man, Tommyknockers and more!
MORE IMPORTANTLY - THE FIRST EPISODE OF FINDING QUANTUM QUEST COMES OUT TOMORROW! You simply must go subscribe and listen. Right now. Even before you listen to this. Seriously, do it now.
Ep. #229 - What If A Little Alien Vacuumed Your Garden?
Make sure to subscribe to our new podcast, Finding Quantum Quest. The first episode launches next week!
Ep. #228 - What If We Came Back?
HI! We missed you!
We're going to be releasing weekly episodes again starting next week. We're doing at least six, maybe more. Who knows?
ALSO, we just launched a brand new podcast called Finding Quantum Quest. Please go listen to the trailer and subscribe now, the first episode launches 1/26.
We've been working on this project for a year, we're really proud of it, and we think you're going to love it. We'd love your support–if you like the trailer, please share it with a friend, post about it on social media, subscribe on your nephew's ipad, or accidentally leave it playing at your desk when you get up to go to the bathroom so you can start a conversation with your co-worker about this cool new podcast you just found when you come back.
We love you! See you next week!
Ep. #227 - What If Jeremy Corbell Saw Some Planes?
HIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Surprise! We're (very briefly) back to talk about UFOs, Jeremy Corbell, and our weekly joys.
Ep. #226 - What If We Signed Off?
Wow, what a ride. Thank you for hanging out with us, sharing your stories, correcting us whenever we discuss math or science, and being the best dang community of listeners we could have possibly asked for.
We're celebrating our final episode by listening to your voicemails, reading your emails, and bringing back British Lady.
Love you, bye!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Ep. #225 - What If You Blasted Bigfoot?
There were some mighty strange bigfoot encounters in the Pacific Northwest in 1924. Albert Ostman got kidnapped by a family of bigfeet, then tried to kill one with chewing tobacco. Fred Beck shot a bigfoot that tried to break into his cabin, but it just disappeared back to another dimension.
Next week will be the last episode of What If? Thank you all so much for listening, supporting us, and goofing off with us for the last four years. We've had an absolute blast and it wouldn't have been possible without y'all. We love you!
If you'd like to send us an email or voicemail, do it before 4/13/21, and we'll probably read/play it on the show.
Our email is: hi@whatifpodcast.com and our phone number is 612-246-4614
Ep. #224 - What If You Made Faces At Your Face?
Eric Mayson stops by to talk about the wonderful world of industrial musicals. From the 1950s through the 1980s, many American companies, including McDonalds, GM, Ford, Miller, Shell, and RCA, produced high-budget musicals about their products. They were never meant for public consumption, but a few have leaked out over the years.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Ep. #223 - What If Some Sentient Christmas Trees Made Your Head Hot?
Rob Kristoffersen's back to tell the tale of Pier Fortunato Zanfretta, an Italian security guard who claimed to be abducted 11 times by 10-foot tall aliens who looked kind of like angry Christmas trees.
Check out Rob's podcasts - Our Strange Skies, Rolling Through the Realms, The Coda, and The Order of Podcasters.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #222 - What If Three Aliens Took a Stroll Through the Park?
Spencer and Lydia are talking about the Voronezh alien abduction, roller skates, and baby pictures.
Check out Lydia's podcast, Solicited Advice. New episodes every Monday!
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #221 - What If You Caught 'Em All?
We're talking about the Bigfoot of Pokemon cards, Ryan's new Alice in Wonderland house, and Spencer's new drum kit.
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Ep. #220 - What If Jesus Sent an Alien to the Pentagon?
Valiant Thor (allegedly) came to Earth to help us out, but the dang government (allegedly) wouldn't let him. We're finally diving into the wild, wild story that is Valiant Thor and Stranger at the Pentagon.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
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Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #219 - What If You Solved the CIA's Riddle?
Kryptos is a sculpture by Jim Sanborn that was installed on the CIA's campus in 1990. The sculpture contains a four-part, encrypted riddle. So far, three of the four parts have been deciphered, but the last section remains unsolved. We sure aren't gonna solve it, but it's fun to talk about!
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Ep. #218: What If You Leased a Cave?
Got too many Prince records stacked up in the basement? An alien with very specific atmospheric needs? Maybe some Harry and the Hendersons outtakes? Iron Mountain has you covered!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #217 - What If It Was Raining Mawfks?
Who you pointing at skeleton? Sometimes it rains fish, sometimes it rains money, sometimes it’s three inches of frogs deep in the streets.
Visit horsenapping.com to hear Spencer's new album
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Ep. #216 - What If You Stole a Horse?
On February 8 1983, Shergar, a beloved Irish racehorse worth over $15 million, was kidnapped by a group of men armed with machine guns. After failed attempts to collect a ransom, the horsnappers said the horse had an accident and died. Shergar was never seen again.
Visit horsenapping.com to pre-order Spencer's new album
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #215 - What If You Saw a Brain on Dapple Gray Lane?
Rob Kristoffersen's in the house to share a story about telepathic floating brain aliens. Spencer tries to push every button on the soundboard.
Listen to Rob's podcasts!
Our Strange Skies | The Coda | Rolling Through the Realms | The Order of Podcasters
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #214 - What If You Walked Backwards and Whistled Like a Teapot?
Spencer found the strangest cryptids he could and Ryan's trying to guess what they are based solely on their names.
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Ep. #213 - What If Some Dang Aliens Dragged You Out the Window?
On October 4th, 2001, Amy Rylance was taken from her home by a beam of rectangular light shot through an open window.. Three hours later, she showed up about 500 miles away. She, her husband, and her friend who witnessed the event believe she was taken by aliens.
We also play some voicemails about Taco Bell, start an ad agency, and discuss 2000s sitcoms.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
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Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
The Oscar Went To - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Our friends Max Selim and Nick Mestad launched a new podcast called The Oscar Went To, and we stopped by to talk Harry Potter.
We discussed the movies, books, video games, and inevitable remakes, as well as the merits of public vs. private wizard school.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of more than 100 episodes!
Ep. #211 - What If There's A Galactic Federation Of Aliens?
We're discussing Haim Eshed's claims that there's a contract between aliens and various world governments which allows aliens to experiment on humans in exchange for anti-gravity technology. We also recall the time the CIA attempted to remote view the Galactic Federation's headquarters.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
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Ep. #210 - What If You Were The Best Ever?
Lydia Liza joins to talk Muppet movies, superlative trees, cyber security, and a bunch of other nonsense.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
go listen to Lydia's new podcast, Solicited Advice, right the heck now!
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Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes, or check out last week's episode for free!
Ep. #209 - What If You Didn't Build A Casino?
So many people have had so many bad ideas for casinos, and a few great ones! We're talking about casinos that weren't, when your students forget to bring you coffee, terrible band names, and obelisk watch 2020 this week on What If?
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
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Ep. #208 - What If You Saw A Flying Tortilla Chip?
Throughout much of the 2000s, Brits have seen a triangle-shaped UFO flying silently through their skies. The craft has been dubbed The Dudley Dorito, and there's more evidence than usual to support its existence.
***THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT***
Georgia is holding runoff elections for two senate seats on January 5, 2021. These two seats will determine control of the U.S. Senate for the next two years, which in turn will determine things like stimulus funding, climate change policy, accessible health care, and a bunch of other really important shit! If you're in Georgia, you have until December 7th to register to vote. If you're not in Georgia, you can contribute to Jon Ossoff's campaign, Reverend Warnock's campaign, or Fair Fight.
Join our listener secret snowman gift exchange!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes.
Ep. #207 - What If We Visited Clinton Road?
New Jersey is scary! Or at least Clinton Road is - there are claims of ghosts, murder, UFOs, flying wolves, and a bunch of other crazy stuff. Also, Ryan got really upset about the definition of a crayon for some reason...?
Outro music: Willie Mays by Ryan Kopperud. Follow him on Spotify to get some brand new music next week!
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Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes.
Ep. #206: What If You Got Away With It? Pt. 3 - The Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist
In 2012, the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers noticed they were missing about 540,000 gallons, or roughly $13 million, of maple syrup. Several people were convicted of stealing and reselling the syrup, but the majority of it was never recovered. It turned out to be the biggest heist in Canadian history. YOU KNOW WE LOVE A GOOD GRIFT!
***THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT***
Georgia is holding runoff elections for two senate seats on January 5, 2021. These two seats will determine control of the U.S. Senate for the next two years, which in turn will determine things like stimulus funding, climate change policy, accessible health care, and a bunch of other really important shit! If you're in Georgia, you have until December 7th to register to vote. If you're not in Georgia, you can contribute to Jon Ossoff's campaign, Reverend Warnock's campaign, or Fair Fight.
Join our listener secret snowman gift exchange!
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes.
Ep. #205 - What If Hulk Hogan Opened a Pasta Restaurant?
Look. We had a great episode planned, and we'll get to it next week, but today we needed a good laugh more than anything else.
So, we spent most of the episode talking about Hulk Hogan's pasta restaurant at the Mall of America and Macho Man Randy Savage's brief rap career. You're welcome?
Pastamania menu and opening day recap | WCW Nitro Grill promo video | Macho Man Randy Savage - Be A Man
Ep. #204 - What If We Told Some Spooky Stories?
We're telling some spooky stories in honor of Halloween! Ghost trucks, creepy hikers, mysterious lights over the ocean, and a town full of mannequins! OH DANG
Please vote! Make sure you're registered, find your polling place, or request an absentee ballot at vote.org.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes.
Ep. #203 - What If We Did A Tarot Reading?
Spencer and Lydia are reading some tarot cards!
Join Lydia's party on Saturday, October 24th at 7:00pm central.
Room: 76264514461 | Password: FT2mi2
Please vote! Make sure you're registered, find your polling place, or request an absentee ballot at vote.org.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes.
Ep. #202 - What If You Saw A Giant Frog?
We're back! And this week we're talking about the Frogman of Loveland, OH. Or maybe BattleToads or something, who knows!
Please vote! Make sure you're registered, find your polling place, or request an absentee ballot at vote.org.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use promo code whatif for 10% off your first month.
Buy yourself or a loved one a gift in our shop.
Join us on Patreon and get an extra episode every week, plus a back catalog of nearly 100 episodes.