The Asstrologers
By TheAsstrologers
The AsstrologersOct 25, 2021
DO YOU FEEL LIKE STALKING YOUR EX OR IS IT JUST SCORPIO SEASON!?!?
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers!
This week, The hosts dive right into Scorpio Season! What to expect & what to be mindful of! LETS GET SPOOKY BABY!!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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THIRD HOUSE SHAMBLES!
Welcome back for another week!
This week, The hosts dive into the third house! Come laugh & learn!
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LIBRA SEASON & THE SIGNS!
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers!
This week, The hosts dive into the forecast for all the signs during Libra season! Come laugh & learn baby!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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DO I LIKE YOU OR IS IT JUST LIBRA SEASON!?!?
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers!
This week, The hosts cover Libra season! All the tea is spilled! What to look forward to & what to be mindful of!
Get your flirt on! Its Libra season baby!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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SOS! MERCURY IS TURNING RETROGRADE!
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers!
This week we dive into Mercury turning retrograde in Libra! During Libra season! SOS! Come laugh & learn! & get ready for it baby!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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HARVEST FULL MOON IN PISCES, BABY!
Welcome back for a bonus episode!!
This week, The hosts dive right into this MAGICAL FULL MOON!!! That is happening on 9/20! Finishing off Virgo Season with a BAM BABY! We will talk about the energy this moon will bring & what the tone is for all 12 signs! Come laugh & learn!
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urANUS is in WHAT?! Retrograde?! Hello?!
Welcome back for another week with ya fav naughty Astro girls!
This week, the hosts dive into a current event that is going on! Uranus is currently turned retrograde in Taurus! So we are diving right into what this means for us! All the 12 signs! & who will thrive & whos in for some shake ups! Tap Tap Tap in!
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Second House Ho3SZ!
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers!
This week, The hosts dive right into the second house! We talk all about what this house represents & what a little about what each sign in this house! Its the smhmoney vibes for me baby!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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AM I BEING JUDGEMENTAL?! OR IS IT JUST VIRGO SEASON!
Hey Astrobabies! Welcome back for another week with the asstrologers!
This week, Angel & Nikita will be diving right into Virgo season! We will be going over all the main events! Virgo season marks the middle of the Astro year! So its time to get to work baby!
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SATURN RETURN! FML?! KINDA?! KINDA NOT!?
Welcome back for another week with your favorite naughty astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts are diving into Saturn returns baby!! We talk all about this astrological rite of passage! Buckle up cause Daddy Saturn is coming for those cheeks! OR he already has!
We cover all the Saturn returns in the signs and returns in the houses. We also dive into the main pod listeners Saturn's a little bit more!
Come laugh & learn! Chefs Kiss BABY!
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First House HeAuXxX!
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers Baby!
This week, The hosts dive right into the first house! You guys asked for it & we came to deliver baby! Now since we already did a rising sign episode we didn't go into all 12 signs in this house! So if you want to know more just circle back to that one! Come laugh, learn & have some fun with ya favorite naughty Asstrologers!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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LE-HOE SEASON BABY!!!!
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers!
This week, the hosts dive right into Leo season! What's to come! What we should be mindful of & what we should avoid! As usual, we do our weekly slootbutts & Astro events! Come laugh & learn!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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F#CK ITS A STELLIUM!!!
Welcome back for another week with the Asstrologers!
This week, we have the suds SOS! but we dive right into stelliums & what they mean, bring & the energy it gives! We also dive into the Capricorn stellium that alot of our listeners have! Come laugh & learn with us!
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HONEY ROAST THA WEENIES!!!
Welcome back for another week with your naughty Asstrologers!
This week, we take it back to one of our earlier themes and decide to do a roast of all 12 signs! However, its a HONEY ROAST BABY! Which means we will be talking about all the lovely things about each sign! & sharing some bonus sl*utbutts at the end of each! Come hungry! Because this honey roast is about to get hot baby!
This episode is actually the hosts favorite so far! So we cant wait for you guys to tune in!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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ARE YOU MUTABLE, FIXED OR CARDINAL BABY!?!?
Welcome back for another week with The Asstrologers! After a little break we are BACK in action baby!!!
This week, the hosts dive into the energy of mutable, fixed and cardinal signs! We talk all about the effect of this with each sign, and how it can affect your chart, or how to come off to others.
So lets get into it!!
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ARE WE CRYING...OR IS IT JUST CANCER SEASON?
WELCOME BACK FOR ANOTHER WEEK!! GRAB THE TISSUES! GRAB THE BLANKETS! ITS CANCER SEASON BABY!
This week, The hosts dive right into Cancer season babes! We talk about all the Astro events headed our way! & spill the tea AS USUAL! Its the cancer slutt-butts for us!! Come laugh & Learn and get ready for what lies ahead ya'll!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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PLUTO-HOE BABY!!!!
Welcome back for another week with us! Your fav naughty astro podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into Pluto! Now once again another generational planet! The hosts talk about some signs in this & have some laughs and learn some ish! Lets have some fun & learn!
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Wild Pisces ft. JChrome!
Welcome back for another week at your favorite naughty Astrology Podcast!
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED! THIS IS PROB OUR MOST RAUNCHY ONE YET BABY!
This week, the hosts have a special guest! A New York based Pisces Musician! Now this week we have LOADS of fun! We dive into his chart, teach him some stuff & get tons of stories! Now ya'll know Pisces are WILD AF & JChrome is not an exception! So come have a laugh & lets get wild baby!
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NIBBLE ON MY NEPTUNE!
Welcome back Astro babes for another week at your favorite naughty Astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into NEPTUNE BABY! We cover some signs in Neptune & the generational effect this planet can have on the collective! Lets get wet!! We also share some Pisces slutt*butts in honor of Neptune baby! Come laugh & learn!
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RUN THE GEMINIS ARE COMING!!!!
Welcome back for another week with your favorite naughty Astrology podcast!
This week, the hosts dive right into GEMINI SEASON BABY! The astrology events for Gemini season ARE INSANE! So come have some laughs, learn about the season, what to expect energy wise and how to work with it! & also cry with us because the co*ck destroyer's broke up :( we sad, so to cheer us up we added some extra sluttbutts! *Chefs Kiss*
Lets get into it baby!
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Let me see URanus ;)
Welcome back for another week with your fav naughty astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into the Planet URANUS BABY! We cover some signs as this planet is slow to move through all 12! We dive into some common URANUS placements of our listeners! So as usual we have our weekly Astro chat & sluttbutts!
Lets learn & have some laughs!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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MOON ME BABY!
This week, the hosts dive into moon phases and the energy each brings. We also have our weekly sluttbutts and girl talk. Come join us and learn about the moon phases and have some fun.
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BIG ZICK ZADDY SATURN!!
Welcome back for another week with your fav naughty astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into SATURN! We comb over the zaddy planet & the energy it brings in ones birth chart. We comb over ALL 12 signs in Saturn. So buckle up guys cause DADDDYS HOME! Also, we touch on Saturn returns a bit! mama mia send help! Lets laugh & learn! & as usual we got some sluttbutts :)
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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GRAB THE SNACKS! ITS TAURUS SEASON BABY!
WELCOME BACK!!!
This week the girls dive right into Taurus season & all that is to come with it! We also share some extra sluttbutts! and have a bit of fun! Grab ya snacks & blankets guys! its TAURUS SEASON!!!!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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F**KING CHIRON!
Welcome back, Welcome back ya'll!! For another week at your fav naughty Astro podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into CHIRON! SO GET YA TISSUES BABY! We will be talking about the wounded healer, today and Chiron, in ALL 12 signs. Many don't look into Chiron deeply & let me tell you that's a flop. Chiron is so important! But as you know, Chiron is heavy so you know we had to throw in some extra Sluttbutts for ya'll too! Lets get to business baby!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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CHART DESTROYASSSS!!!
Welcome back for another week with your fav nasty astrology podcast!
You asked! So we delivered! We are combing over the charts of some of our lovely followers. We also share some extra SLUTTBUTTS! and have a bit of fun this week!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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JUPITER JUPITER..LETS GET STUPIDER!
WELCOME BACK YALL FOR ANOTHER WEEK AT THE ASSTROLOGERS!
WHO ELSE REMEMBERS BOYS GO TO JUPITER TO GET MORE STUPIDER? CAUSE WE DO! DID THEY COME BACK?!
This week, the girls dive into Jupiter! We all talk about what Jupiter represents & we talk about all 12 signs!
Come learn some ish & laugh with us! Sluttbutt time baby!
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ITS ARIES SEASON BABY!!!
Welcome back for another week with your fav naughty astrology podcast!
This week, ITS ALL ABOUT ARIES! Happy Aries season everyone!! The girls talk about Aries season & Chakras! They also share some sluttbutts! MORE than normal!
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Damn That Rising Sign Tho.....
Welcome back for another week at your your fav naughty Astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into the 12 rising signs! We go from Aries to Pisces & comb over some common traits. We also added some celebrities with each rising, This way you can get a feel for the physical traits. We also go over crystals!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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SERIAL & MILK ZADDY!!
Welcome back for another week at your your fav naughty Astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into some birth charts of serial killers! & As usual we have our weekly sluttbutts & the polls baby!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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WHATS YOUR MERCURY BABE!?!?
Welcome back for another week at your fav naughty Astrology podcast!
This week, the hosts dive right into the planet Mercury. They discuss all 12 signs & what this planet truly represents. They also discuss the term shadow work, what it represents, and why its so important.
As usual, we have our naughty talk & polls! So come have some slutbutt fun & learn some stuff!
Follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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GALENTINES BAYBE!!!!!
Join us for another wild week at The Asstrologers! Your favorite weekly naughty Astrology podcast!
This episode, the girls have a bit of fun! We celebrate the day of love by getting buzzed & having a secret Santa sex toy exchange! We also spill some tea about certain experiences with the signs! We also comb over which signs rule the days & what day is best for certain manifestation work.
As usual, please follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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Fly Me To The MF'N MOON BABY!
Welcome back for another week at The Asstrologers!
This week, the girls fly to the moon! They go over ALL 12 moon sign placements! What moon sign is dramatic? Who's a cry baby? Lets find out!
The girls also comb over Aspects. If you've seen your birth chart, you most likely said wtf is this? Well, allow us to give you a little insight.
As usual, please follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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ICONIC HO3S & TOY TALK!
Welcome back to your favorite naughty astrology podcast!
This week, our hosts have a bit of fun diving into some iconic charts! The girls also cover toys in the bedroom! Since last week was a little bit more serious, we wanted to switch it up and have some fun. Come laugh, jam out, and learn with us.
As usual, please follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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Venus Venus....Let Me Touch Your .....
Welcome back to another episode of your favorite naughty Astrology podcast!
This week, the hosts dive right into VENUS BABY! The girls will be going over all 12 Venus signs. Venus is our love style, so naturally we decided to also tie the 5 love languages into this one. Warning, this episode is more on the informative side, but you know our girls will have some stories to share as well. Don't worry well get extra spicy next week to make up for it! The hosts will also be announcing some big news! Welcome back AstroBabes!
Also, the girls did bottomless mimosas again...so enjoy LOL #oops
As usual, please follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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ROAST THE WEENIES!
Welcome back for another episode of your favorite naughty Astrology podcast!
This week our hosts leave the realm of naughty Astrology & enter the ROAST! The girls decided to shake it up and have some fun by BASHING all 12 signs. Come get dragged or hear your least favorite sign get dragged! Also, one host shares a story that had our jaws on the FLOOR, and with this crew that means ALOT!
We also cover which sign is the most possessive to the least possessive!
As usual, please follow our socials to partake in weekly polls & get some Astro facts!
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OFF TO MARS WE GO B!TCHES!
Join us again for our 4th episode at your favorite naughty astrology podcast!
This week, The hosts dive into the planet of Mars! If you didn't know, Mars represents your will, drive & sexual energy. As we like to say, its how you f**k & how you FIGHT! Knowing this placement for yourself or your partner, can aid you SO much in the bedroom or in the fighting ring baby!
The hosts also discuss the topic of attracting the same sign and why.
The hosts decided to do bottomless mimosas, so lets make it a game to see who fell off first!
As usual, please follow our socials to partake in weekly polls
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GhostBusting....THAT A$$!!!!!
Welcome back Astrobabes!!!!
Our Editor in Chief Asstrologer Stephanie joins us as our special guest this week! We dive RIGHT into how to turn a sign on!
We also dive into the culture of ghosting and how to catch the signs! WHO YA GONNA CALL?? THE ASSTROLOGERS!
We also have a beautiful New Moon in Capricorn this week, So set your intentions!
We do polls weekly, So check out our socials!
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Are we F**king or Fighting?
Join our hosts for the second episode of The Asstrologers, The naughtiest astrology podcast around. This week we are diving into what signs smash the best & what signs smash the worst together! We also discuss the big 3 AKA Sun, Moon & Rising and what they mean! We also dive into twin flame & soulmate!
We do polls weekly! , So check out our socials!
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Sex & The Signs
Join us for our first episode of The Asstrologers! We're diving in hot & heavy this week with an intro to who our hosts are. We'll be chatting about The Great Conjunction, followed by a Horny Meter of the signs! We also do weekly Instagram Polls in which we will be sharing the results!
Come join us for some laughs & some learning!
Thank you so much for joining us & listening in!
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