Episode 13: Criticism, Narcissism, and Boundaries—Dr. Alison Answers Your Questions by The Best of You

Episode 83: How to Turn Anger, Sadness, and Fear Into Powerful Allies

Most people feel anger, sadness, or fear at some point during the day. It's normal to feel these emotions. The question is, what will you do when they show up: Will you let them sabotage you? Or will you turn them into your allies?

In today’s episode, I teach you the skills you need to turn these feelings into your allies so that you can experience more joy and healthier boundaries. Here’s what we cover:

1. The #1 question to ask yourself (6:38)

2. How anger is trying to help (6:53)

3. What to do when you feel sadness (11:03)

4. An illustration from one of my favorite movies (15:11)

5. Why we need fear (19:41)

6. A powerful exercise to use at any time (29:00)

Fill out the The Best of You Podcast Survey (5 randomly selected participants will win free books!)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

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Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Related Episodes:

Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions—2 Essential Steps to Bring Calm to the Chaos Within

Episode 81: Finding God Through Your Feelings—How to Practice the Presence of God No Matter What You’re Feeling

Episode 82: Why We Overreact—How Big Emotions Can Help You Unburden Past Hurts

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 82: Why We Overreact—How Big Emotions Can Help You Unburden Past Hurts

We all over-react at times. I know I do! Maybe someone is late, and you get really angry instead of a little annoyed. Or your colleague gives you constructive feedback, and you feel decimated inside. You don't know why you had such a big reaction.

What if those "overreactions" are actually clues to the past? In today’s episode I walk you through an incredibly practical way to use the power of big emotional reactions in the present to help you heal from events in the past. When you decode the information in your overreactions, you can finally unburden yourself.

1. The main reasons we overreact (8:27)

2. Why we pick up burdens from the past (16:36)

3. The effects of parentification (18:55)

4. How to become a cycle-breaker (23:27)

5. A real-time exercise in unburdening (29:20)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

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Related Episodes:

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 81: Finding God Through Your Feelings—How to Practice the Presence of God No Matter What You’re Feeling

If you’re struggling to feel connected spiritually or stuck in negative emotions, you’re in good company. Research shows that 9 out of 10 people struggle with stress during the holidays.

In today’s episode, I walk you through my simple but life-changing strategy for unlocking spiritual connection and experiencing more of God’s loving presence.

Here’s what we cover:

1. 3 reasons painful emotions get heightened at the holidays (2:32)

2. A simple hack for experiencing more spiritual vitality (8:22)

3. The neurobiology of what happens when you connect with God (9:43)

4. How to transform mundane moments into spiritual encounters (12:18)

5. How to harness your external environment to change your mental habits (23:03)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Listen to Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson wherever you get your podcasts!

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections

Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions—2 Essential Steps to Bring Calm to the Chaos Within

Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions—2 Essential Steps to Bring Calm to the Chaos Within

What if your emotions aren't your enemies afterall? What if they actually help? This holiday season, I'm taking you on a deep dive into my proven 5-step method for finding joy and peace by bringing harmony and wholeness to your inner world.

Today, we'll walk through the first 2 steps that are crucial to developing a healthy relationship with your emotions. Here’s what we cover:

1. 3 truths about emotions (5:19)

2. A counterintuitive (but essential!) first step (9:38)

3. How to speak on behalf of an emotion vs. from it (17:21)

4. The surprising solution to negative emotions (21:58)

5. How to finally move from self-condemnation to self-compassion and why this is central to the message of Christ (32:40)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!

Related Episodes:

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings

Boundaries for Your Soul Youtube Series

Episode 57: Should I Turn the Other Cheek? Why It’s the Opposite of Being a Doormat & How to Stand Firm in the Face of Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Toxicity

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulley

I was thrilled to have this conversation about a book that's easily one of my favorites this year. The brilliant author, professor, and public theologian, Esau McCaulley is here to share his personal experience with the many faces of trauma and how he stayed connected to the goodness of God through all of it.

Esau’s new book, How Far to the Promised Land, is a gripping, powerful story of one man’s journey of survival and hope. This conversation is packed with so much incredible insight all the way through to the end. Here’s what we cover:

1. Esau's early experiences with trauma (6:59)

2. How being a dad has been part of Esau’s healing (11:48)

3. Racial trauma (18:08)

4. How to integrate different parts of yourself (28:53)

5. Why we have to tell our stories (31:18)

6. Esau’s thoughts on forgiveness (40:35)

Check out How Far to the Promised Land here!

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Go to storyworth.com/bestofyou and save $10 on your first purchase!

Start taking control of your health today at WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU

Related Episodes:

Episode 78: Grace, 3 Types of Forgiveness, & Why Forgiveness and Boundaries Go Hand in Hand

Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer

Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith

Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means

Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 78: The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness & Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado

Today’s episode is packed! First, I walk you through some practical, research-backed thoughts on forgiveness and grace. Then I invite you into a conversation I had with none other than Max Lucado about how God’s forgiveness and grace played out in his own life. Here's what we cover:

1. The difference between grace & forgiveness (2:20)

2. Personality type & forgiveness (7:11)

3. 3 types of forgiveness (11:03)

4. How to forgive (15:15)

5. Max’s personal story of grace (23:28)

6. Clear words of wisdom about toxicity (37:38)

Check out Max Lucado's new book, God Never Gives Up On You: What Jacob's Story Teaches Us about Grace, Mercy, and God's Relentless Love

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping.

To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support.

Related Episodes:

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means

Have you felt far from God? Do you find yourself wondering what in the world God is doing amidst all that is hard? I would argue that a dark night of the soul is a healthy response to pain, brokenness, or suffering. We need to create space for these seasons of wrestling with God—not try to shove them aside or stigmatize them.

In today’s episode, here’s what we cover:

1. What is a dark night of the soul? (4:09)

2. How is it different from depression? (6:55)

3. Why does God allow us to feel far from Him at times? (19:16)

4. How these seasons help us grow closer to each other (33:07)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer

Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith

Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning

Episode 47: Spiritual Bypassing vs. Embodied Faith & How Not to Harm Those Who Are Hurting, Including Yourself

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn't Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith

I read country music singer Granger Smith's new book in one sitting and cried my way through it. It’s a powerful story of the unspeakable loss of his 3-year old son and what happened in the aftermath.

Granger tried everything to cope with the trauma, including numbing and every self-help hack. It didn't work. This is an incredible story of what happens when self-help fails and God shows up. Here’s what we cover:

1. The traumatic “slide show” that ran through Granger's mind for months (10:44)

2. Why we numb (16:19)

3. Granger's rock bottom moment and what happened after (24:33)

4. What grief looks like when transformed (30:38)

5. How self-help messages gaslight us (40:59)

This episode contains discussions about suicide which may be distressing for some listeners. Please prioritize your well-being and proceed with caution. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 for free, confidential support.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping.

Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping!

Related Episodes:

Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer

Episode 74: The Neurobiology of Hope and How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Dr. Curt Thompson

Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning

Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer

Prayer is where self-awareness meets God-awareness. I’ve come to cherish it as an intimate, deeply grounding practice. But I haven’t always felt that way. It used to evoke anxiety and activation inside of me as I worked to earn God's favor.

That’s why I love this conversation with Kayla Craig, author of the new book Every Season Sacred. In this candid conversation, we talk about prayer in a fresh new way that will transform how you practice it. Here’s what we cover:

1. Scientific research into the effectiveness of prayer (3:57)

2. What prayer is (11:19)

3. How to pray when your emotions are chaotic (38:43)

4. Calming your nervous system (37:25) vs. hail mary prayers (10:44)

5. Different types of prayer (33:02)

Check out Kayla's new book Every Season Sacred: Reflections, Prayers, and Invitations to Nourish Your Soul and Nourish Your Family Throughout the Year

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Related Episodes:

Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth

Episode 73: True Belonging vs. Groupthink, Cliques, & Trying to Fit In—How to Belong to Others While Staying True To Yourself

Episode 74: The Neurobiology of Hope and How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Dr. Curt Thompson

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 74: The Neurobiology of Hope and How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Dr. Curt Thompson

I am so thrilled to have my friend, Dr. Curt Thompson, on the podcast today. I have been deeply transformed by Curt’s work, and in today's conversation, Curt breathes fresh life into a topic that is too easily tossed around and oversimplified—Hope.

We take a deep dive into the intricacies of hope from a neurobiological, relational, and spiritual perspective. It's a must listen for anyone going through hard times.

Here's what we unpack in our conversation:

* What's happening inside our brains when we hope? (11:59)

* Steps you can take in daily life to foster hope (17:55)

* The link between hope and secure attachment (15:35)

* How we embody and become hope for one another (21:04)

* Reimagining hope in today’s world (22:41)

Check out Curt's new book The Deepest Place.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping.

Visit seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily

Related Episodes:

Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth

Episode 73: True Belonging vs. Groupthink, Cliques, & Trying to Fit In—How to Belong to Others While Staying True To Yourself

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 73: True Belonging vs. Groupthink, Cliques, & Trying to Fit In—How to Belong to Others While Staying True To Yourself

If you’ve ever struggled to feel like you belong, this episode is for you. I’ve struggled with belonging for decades. I couldn't understand how other people seemed to find large groups of friends. But I’ve figure out how to belong on my own terms. And, paradoxically, I realized—that’s exactly what belonging is.

Today’s episode is personal, hopeful, and practical. Here's what we cover:

1. The myth of belonging (9:08)

2. The 2 roads to isolation (5:36)

3. What about social anxiety? (9:50)

4. The surprising path to belonging (20:19)

5. 3 easy steps you can take TODAY (29:50)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support.

Related Episodes:

Episode 61: Reconnecting With Old Friends—Healing the Past, Naming Regret & Bringing Your Whole Self into the Future

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best?

Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 72: Resilience—Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth

We all feel defeated by the challenges we face from time to time. I have talked with so many people recently who are facing what feels like impossible mountains to climb. I recorded today's episode as a result of these conversations—I wanted to encourage you personally as you face what's hard in front of you. Here's what we cover:

1. The phrase I lean on for resilience (6:58)

2. The 2 pitfalls that tempt us when we face challenges (15:06)

3. Scripts for parenting yourself through a hard time (19:51)

4. How to develop mental & emotional strength (23:07)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping.

Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping!

Related Episodes:

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best?

Episode 9: Hidden Pain and the Power of Facing Your Fear

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best?

Today, we’re talking allll about therapy. I've gathered up the big questions people ask and we're tackling them head-on. Remember, therapy isn't just for crises—it's for clarity, growth, and understanding. So if you’re curious about the process or wondered how in the world to get started, this episode is for you. Here’s what we cover:

1. The most important predictor of success in therapy (18:36)

2. Different types of therapy (29:33)

3. How to find a therapist (12:35)

4. Breaking up with a therapist (42:42)

5. My top tips for finding affordable therapy (12:59)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Related Episodes:

Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It

Episode 67: The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z & A Hidden Search for Meaning

Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

Get ready to level up your emotional intelligence! In this week's episode, we're diving deep into the heart of emotional intelligence, revealing why it's an absolute game-changer. We'll break it all down:

1. Fascinating research on emotional intelligence (21:07)

2. 3 powerful strategies for mastering your emotions (30:01)

3. 5 ways to express your emotions effectively (33:24)

4. My all-time favorite technique for nurturing empathy (34:37)

5. 2 unexpected gems of emotional intelligence in the Bible (42:18)

6. A powerful real-life story of emotional intelligence in the fiery furnace of marriage (45:45)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Listen & subscribe to Coffee with Kailey Podcast at https://tinyurl.com/CoffeeWithKaileyPodcast

Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping.

Related Episodes:

Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God

Episode 57: Should I Turn the Other Cheek? Why It’s the Opposite of Being a Doormat & How to Stand Firm in the Face of Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Toxicity

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

We are all creating the future version of ourselves every single day. We're either moving toward wholeness—or we're moving toward fragmentation. In this brand-new September series, I'm walking you through the most important steps you can take to cultivate resilience, embrace authenticity, and nurture intimacy.

Today's episode kicks us off with an overview of the key challenges we all face throughout the course of our lives. Here's what you’ll learn:

1. The 8 challenges we face from childhood to old age

2. The #1 challenge most of us are still working to resolve

3. Why identity precedes intimacy

4. A proven exercise to help you become your ideal self

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff

Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People

Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Misconstrued Messages and How to Disentangle From Them

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 68: How Not to Lose Yourself—Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington

I absolutely loved this conversation with Alli Worthington. We get so real about the toxic traps all around and how to stay sane as a parent. From "parenting book trauma" to bad advice about friendships, we’ve got you covered.

You'll learn practical tips & fascinating research from Alli's new book, Remaining You While Raising Them. Alli’s a business owner, podcast host, and the mom of 6 kids. Here’s what we cover:

1. The #1 source of mom guilt

2. The most important question to ask yourself each day

3. How parenting failures actually help kids

4. The surprising research on which relationships are happiest

5. Which friends to keep, and which ones to release

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family.

Related Episodes:

Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff

Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning

Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself

Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 67: The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z & A Hidden Search for Meaning

Today’s episode is straight up 🔥🔥🔥. I got to know Cindy Gao last year, when she reached out to me about an internship. As a student at Harvard College, she experienced a crisis of meaning and found her way to faith—and—to emotional healing. I have loved getting to know Cindy, and I know you are going to love her too.

This episode is raw and inspiring. It’s packed with insight into faith, mental health, and Gen Z. Here’s what we cover:

1. The phrase Cindy Googled in a moment of desperation & what she found

2. What to do—and not do—when a young person expresses interest in faith

3. Why emotional healing & faith cannot be separated

4. The core belief that almost kept Cindy from faith

5. The challenges & longings of Gen Z

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Related Episodes:

Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff

Episode 62: Your Questions About Friendship—How to Test a New Relationship, Manage Your Capacity Through Different Life Seasons, & Become a Friend to Yourself

Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places

Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections

Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier

Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff

I am thrilled to be back this week, diving into an incredible conversation with beloved therapist, Sissy Goff! We're tackling the topic of anxiety and its ripple effect on our kids and on our parenting styles.

With 30 years of experience guiding kids and parents, Sissy brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. Plus, she's sharing tips from her latest book, The Worry Free Parent. We cover so much in this episode, including:

1. A parent’s most important job

2. Why we are seeing more anxiety in kids & parents

3. 5 parenting traps

4. Your parenting superpower

5. Sissy’s moment of hope in the Covenant School shooting aftermath

Connect with Sissy on Instagram or at raisingboysandgirls.com

Pre-order The Worry Free Parent by Sissy Goff and get a free bonus chapter

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself

Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It

Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings

Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the Past

Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville

Research shows that many men are struggling and not sure how to get support. So I asked our friends from the Dadville podcast to come on and talk about how to encourage the guys in your life!

What a joy to host this insightful and fun duo! Jon McLaughlin and Dave Barnes are best known for their careers as musicians and song writers, but on their off-time, they encourage and inspire us on their popular parenting podcast, Dadville. You’ll find so much wisdom in this conversation, including:

1. How to find joy in the dream vs. the destination

2. Guys and vulnerability

3. The true goal of parenting

4. Why we all have to face our own blind spots

5. A beautiful picture of letting go of control with our kids

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping.

If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership.

Related Episodes:

Episode 32: Productivity and the Never Ending To Do List: How to Stop Hustling & Embrace the Joy of Enough

Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier

Therapy Adjacent Series:

Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others

Episode 64: Women’s Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body’s Changes

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 64: Women’s Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body’s Changes

This episode is an absolute must-listen! If you're a woman journeying through your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, or if you're parenting a daughter, you don't want to miss this conversation. We dive into women's health, including menopause, perimenopause, hormone shifts, reproductive health, and ways to empower young women and girls.

Dr. Leslie Appiah is a nationally-acclaimed OB/GYN who has helped women and girls for decades. Her practical and insightful approach is such a needed voice for all women. Here’s some of what we cover:

1. The impact of hormones on mental health

2. How to get relief for perimenopause and menopause symptoms

3. When to consider an anti-depressant

4. Why your physician might not have a clue

5. How to find one who will!

6. How to empower your daughters to live free of body shame

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison or Dr. Appiah?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99.

Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU for 20% off plus free shipping.

Related Episodes:

Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others

Imagine if someone sat with you and listened to you attentively for as long as you needed. That’s what I experienced through a series of spiritual listening retreats. And today, I invited the Rev. Dr. Stephen Macchia and spiritual director in training, Rowena Day to talk with us about the practice of spiritual direction and deep listening as one component of your mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

This episode is so rich, so soothing, and so deeply nourishing. As a therapist, I have found spiritual direction to be a powerful part of my own mental health practices. It’s also taught me how to become a better listener in my relationships with others. Here’s what we discuss:

1. The deepest need we all have

2. How to attune to your own soul

3. The neurobiology of presence

4. What to do if quiet is hard for you

5. The links between spiritual and mental health

Connect with Dr. Stephen Macchia and Spiritual Formation resources here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%!

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Related Episodes:

Episode 31 and Episode 44 with Rowena Day

Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics

Episode 32: Productivity and the Never Ending To Do List: How to Stop Hustling & Embrace the Joy of Enough

Episode 47: Spiritual Bypassing vs. Embodied Faith & How Not to Harm Those Who Are Hurting, Including Yourself

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 62: Your Questions About Friendship—How to Test a New Relationship, Manage Your Capacity Through Different Life Seasons, & Become a Friend to Yourself

Today we're trying something new! We've gathered up your most-asked questions about friendship and discuss them on the podcast. These are such thoughtful and real questions, and I love thinking through them with you. Here's what we cover:

1. The mother wound and female friendships

2. Managing expectations through your own healing season

3. Assessing trust in a new friend

4. Navigating a terminal diagnosis with friends

5. What about helping others who can't reciprocate friendship?

For communication scripts check out, ⁠⁠check out The Best of You⁠⁠.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email, you’ll get a unique discount code just for you.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney

Episode 59: Overcoming Past Hurt & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen

Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson

Episode 61: Reconnecting With Old Friends—Healing the Past, Naming Regret & Bringing Your Whole Self into the Future

Episode 45: Strong like Water—Finding the Freedom, Safety, & Compassion to Move through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing with Aundi Kolber

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 61: Reconnecting With Old Friends—Healing the Past, Naming Regret & Bringing Your Whole Self into the Future

This episode is so special! I sit down with my 3 childhood friends, including my older sister, as we describe what happens when you bring your past self into your present. We were close all through high school, but life took us on different paths, to different cities, and through different experiences of faith, marriage, and family life.

Over 2 decades later, we reconvened and replayed the tape of our lives—each one of us bearing witness to the other. Today, we share with you what we discovered about the power of reclaiming your past.

I pray this episode sparks your imagination and ignites your desire as you consider pulling in old and new friends as companions on your journey toward wholeness. Here's what we cover:

1. Why 4 childhood friends reconnected to each other—and our past selves

2. How diverse perspectives strengthened, not divided, our rekindled friendships

3. Confronting & overcoming regret

4. How revisiting my sister’s teen pregnancy became a catalyst for healing

5. What we'd each say to our younger selves now.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Related Episodes:

Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney

Episode 59: Overcoming Past Hurt & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen

Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber & Dr. Monique Gadson

Making new friends is hard as an adult! We’ve been hurt. We’ve changed and outgrown old ways. So how do we find new friends? And how do we learn to trust after trust has been broken?

Today, I’m joined by 2 of my new friends, Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson, as we discuss how to overcome past hurts and brave the work of finding new friends. This episode is packed with practical tips, and I was so touched by the raw emotion that surfaced at the end as we each reflect on our own experiences.

Here’s what we cover:

1. Friendship red flags

2. Green flags that indicate safety

3. The impact of trauma on friendships

4. Breaking free from people pleasing

5. How to “break up” with a potential friend

6. Is friendship about quality or quantity?

Connect with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions about friendship for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

⁠Episode 14⁠: The Fawn Response and the Hidden Root of People Pleasing

Episode 33 with Dr. Monique Gadson

Episode 45 and Episode 46 with Aundi Kolber

Episode 58⁠: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life

⁠Episode 59⁠: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 59: Overcoming Past Hurt & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen

I loved this beautiful and honest conversation about friendship with Jennie Allen, bestselling author of Find Your People and founder of IF:Gathering. She shares candidly about a painful season where she felt alone and how she’s learned to lean into deep community, even when it's messy.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling lonely, misunderstood, or like it’s hard to trust other people, please listen to this episode. There are so many gems in it, including:

1. Our greatest fear in friendship

2. How to say “that hurt” to a friend

3. What prompted Jennie to close off to friendship for a season

4. How she found her way into trusting relationships again

5. The healing power of knowing others & being known by them

Order Find Your People here

For tips on finding support: 7 Ways to Increase Your Support Network and Why It Matters

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Related Episodes:

Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life

Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places

Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal?

Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 58: Friends on Friendship—How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney

I'm so excited to announce our brand-new series, "Friends on Friendships"! Join us over the next 5 weeks as we learn together how to forge transformative, healing, and life-giving friendships.

We are kicking things off with an incredible conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney, who are real life friends and hosts of The Being Known Podcast. We laughed so much during this episode, and at least 2 of us also cried 🙈 . You don't want to miss all the gems about friendship throughout this conversation.

Here’s what we cover:

1. Why friendship is a risk worth taking

2. The most important ingredient for safe friendships

3. The physics of “taking your friends with you” (even when they can't be with you).

4. Laughter as a form of intimacy

5. Why 3 is most definitely not a crowd

6. Glimmers vs. Triggers

Check out Curt’s brand new book The Deepest Place, available for preorder.

Learn more about Confessional Communities ⁠here⁠

Do you have questions about this series for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here⁠.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Wild Health has opened 10 spots in their Premium Program for BEST OF YOU listeners. Visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership.

Check out Nuts.com/bestofyou. You’ll receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more!

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)

Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 57: Should I Turn the Other Cheek? Why It's the Opposite of Being a Doormat & How to Stand Firm in the Face of Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Toxicity

Phew! Today’s episode gets fiery 🔥🔥🔥! Many of us were taught to “turn the other cheek” as a call to be a doormat or to naively “love someone” into change. In today's episode, I’m not holding back as I paint a picture of what I think the Bible really teaches about standing firm against toxicity.

You'll discover a completely different picture of what it means to turn the other cheek. Here's what we cover:

1. What "turn the other cheek" really means

2. What the Bible has to say about toxic behavior

3. Why it doesn’t work to “love people” into change

4. Examples of toxicity & how to protect yourself

5. How to be shrewd when dealing with gossip, cruelty or manipulation

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order!

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Related Episodes:

Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting?

Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil

Episode 25: Types of No Part 1—How to Say “No” in Healthy Relationships

Episode 26: Types of “No” Part 2—How to Say “No” to Toxicity

Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Series

What Does the Bible Really Say Youtube Series

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Misconstrued Messages and How to Disentangle From Them

We’re hitting hard today on this question “Am I really supposed to die to myself?” So many have been encouraged to misapply the message of self-denial in ways that are not healthy. So what does the Bible really say about it?

Here’s what we cover:

1. What "deny yourself" really means

2. 3 different types of people

3. A surprising invitation

4. A practical exercise to apply to your own life

5. Your Questions: Healed vs. Saved

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to fuller.edu/bestofyou to learn more about Fuller’s MS in Marriage and Family Therapy program.

Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%!

Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order!

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Podcast Episodes:

Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul

Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions

Episode 41: Boundaries with Fear and Anxiety

Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness

Episode 43: How To Tame Your Inner Critic

Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away?

Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?

Youtube Series:

What Does the Bible Really Say

Boundaries for Your Soul

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People

This week we're talking all about self-trust—how we develop it, and why it's so crucial to the health of our relationships with other people. We also talk about how trusting God is a process that develops in the context of healthy relationships.

Here's what we cover:

1. The surprising foundation for trust

2. The role of attachment

3. 3 relationships that contribute to trust

4. What to do if you are too trusting of others

5. A first step toward building self-trust

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode ⁠here⁠.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here.⁠

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email ⁠here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Listen & subscribe to Wear We Are!

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order!

Related Episodes:

Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away?

Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful?

Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It

Today’s conversation is pure fire! We're talking all things anxiety with Curtis Chang, author of a brand new book, The Anxiety Opportunity. This is such a fresh take on anxiety, unlike anything you’ve heard at church or in the secular culture. We also touch on the problem of how most of us have been taught to view heaven, and how recasting that vision has everything to do with anxiety.

If you’ve struggled with anxiety or if you have kids who struggle with anxiety, please do not miss this episode. Here’s what we cover:

1. The problem with the “prayer” or “pill” approach to anxiety

2. The anxiety pandemic

3. The most important thing we can do to help our anxious kids

4. Did Jesus experience anxiety?

5. Curtis’s experience with crippling anxiety

6. The surprising discovery he made in therapy

7. Why heaven is not what you think it is & how that changes everything

Pick up your copy of The Anxiety Opportunity here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Please visit christianapp.org/mentalhealthtsf to donate today!

Check out Nuts.com/bestofyou. You’ll receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more!

Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to get 20% at checkout.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 53: StrengthsFinder—How to Claim Your Strengths, Lean On Others & Thrive at Home and Work

We are talking all about finding our strengths today with my friend, Laura Cootsona, an accomplished coach, consultant, and non-profit executive. She walks us through StrengthsFinder, a tool that helps you identify and lean into your strengths and uncover the strengths of others.

Research shows that leaning into your strengths at work and in life is absolutely life-changing. Here’s what we cover:

1. How to identify strengths to unleash your potential

2. The link between strengths and enjoying your work

3. Understanding the downside of your strong points

4. How to team up with other strengths

5. How to build a strength-based family

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Related Episodes:

Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence & 9 Sacred Pathways

Episode 51: 12 Common Thinking Traps

Episode 52: The Enneagram

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 52: The Enneagram—9 Ways to Uncover the Best (and Worst) of Who You Are, Get Honest With Yourself, & Improve Your Relationships

What a rich conversation with Enneacast hosts Jesse Eubanks and Lindsey Lewis about the 9 types of the Enneagram! We talk everything from mistyping women to Jesus, Kevin Hart, and the Apostle Paul.

This is a great episode to share with your family, small group, and friends—it's an opportunity for honest conversations about your areas of brilliance. . .and the blind spots we all have.

Here’s what we cover:

1. The 9 different types

2. Your Enneagram number as one part of who you are

3. The Enneagram and narcissism

4. Why celebration is a discipline we all need to practice

5. How to love types that trigger us

6. The difference between comfort and shalom

7. What type was Jesus? Paul? Peter? Tom Brady?

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Please visit christianapp.org/mentalhealthtsf to donate today!

Go to fuller.edu/bestofyou to learn more about Fuller’s MS in Marriage and Family Therapy program.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Related Episodes:

Episode 49: 5 Personality Traits

Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence & 9 Sacred Pathways

Episode 51: 12 Common Thinking Traps

Boundaries for Your Soul Series

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

Do you catastrophize? struggle with taking a compliment? Are you a mind reader? A minimizer? Or do you tend to take things personally? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you do not want to miss today's episode.

We're discussing 12 common thinking traps, what psychologists call cognitive distortions. These are ways of thinking that trip up every single one of us. The messages you tell yourself have a direct impact on the health of your relationships, so this is a great one to share with your family or friends.

Here's what we cover:

1. 12 common thinking traps

2. How to avoid toxic shame spirals

3. The problem with mind reading

4. How to stop taking things personally

5. The trap of emotional reasoning

6. Why we all need to learn how to take a compliment

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today!

Check out Nuts.com/bestofyou. You’ll receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more!

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and 9 Ways to Connect with God

This week we're digging into intelligence. And believe me, it's not what you were taught! If you've struggled with comparing yourself to others, feeling inadequate, or unsure of your unique gifts (and that's pretty much all of us), you don't want to miss this episode!

Here's what we cover:

1. What is intelligence?

2. Why it's different than what you were taught

3. 9 different types of intelligence

4. 2 toxic consequences of comparing ourselves to others

5. 9 ways to connect with God

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today!

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types?

This week marks the launch of our brand new series, My Favorite Psychology Tools, and we're kicking things off with a deep dive into the fascinating world of personality types. With so many fads and trends out there, it can be hard to know what's actually backed by research. That's why we're here to separate fact from fiction and give you the inside scoop on what personality really is and what the latest research tells us about it.

Here's what we cover:

1. What is personality and why we're so fascinated with it

2. The benefits and pitfalls in personality tests

3. The 5 most researched personality traits

4. The mysterious H Factor and why it's so important

5. How personality traits show up in the Bible

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here

See also Episode 1: What is Narcissism Really?

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ ⁠today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Order Aundi Kolber's new book, ⁠Strong Like Water⁠ today!

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn't the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe

Gosh, it can be hard to live in a body, let alone learn to love it. We have so many demands that compete for our attention, not to mention all the mixed up messages we get as women— how in the world are we supposed to honor these bodies God has given us?

In today's episode, we're honoring these long-suffering bodies of ours. Here's what we cover:

1. Why so many of us bypass the body

2. 4 insights from psychology about the body

3. 3 ancient heresies that sneak into our modern thinking

4. The difference between what the Bible calls "flesh" and "body"

5. How to honor your body as part of spiritual practice

6. Why I am learning to dance again (but definitely not in public)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today!

Related episodes:

⁠Episode 11⁠ How to Start Loving Your body with Christy Joy

⁠Episode 19⁠ My Stroke and a Process of Healing

⁠Episode 36⁠ How to Create Boundaries with Toxic Distractions

⁠Episode 44⁠ Befriending Anger with Rowena Day

⁠Episode 45⁠ and ⁠Episode 46⁠ Strong Like Water with Aundi Kolber

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 47: Spiritual Bypassing vs. Embodied Faith & How Not to Harm Those Who Are Hurting, Including Yourself

This week on the podcast, we're kicking off a mini 2-episode series on loving our bodies as a spiritual practice. Today, I dig into the problem of over-spiritualizing and how that does harm to ourselves and to others. Here's what we cover:

1. What is spiritual bypassing?

2. Does every problem have a spiritual solution?

3. How we spiritually bypass ourselves

4. How not to be a "friend of Job"

5. The antidote to spiritual bypassing

6. An example of spiritual bypassing from the Bible

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Related episodes:

Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber

Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today!

Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber

Phew! Buckle up. Part 2 of my conversation with Aundi Kolber is out today, and it is absolute 🔥🔥🔥! We set aside the script and got real about our own experiences , including. . .

1. How people pleasing becomes a survival response

2. The shame we feel when we start to change

3. Alison's unexpected experience of comfort in a crisis

4. Jesus and the Nervous System

5. Did Jesus ever get "activated"?

6. The problem with toxic positivity & spiritual bypassing

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Check out Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water anywhere books are sold!

Listen to Part 1 of our conversation: Episode 45

More about the Fawn Response: Episode 14

More about Trauma: Episode 4

Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 45: Strong like Water—Finding the Freedom, Safety, & Compassion to Move through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing with Aundi Kolber

What an honor to have my friend and fellow therapist, Aundi Kolber on the podcast today! You do not want to miss Part 1 of our two-part conversation on her brand new book, Strong like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things--and Experience True Flourishing

Aundi and I connected through social media, and she has become the dearest real life friend. It was my absolute honor to have this conversation with her about her personal story and her new book, Strong Like Water, available for pre-order now. Here's what we cover. . .

1. Why it's unsustainable to always be the "strong one"

2. The brave decision that led to her to reimagine strength

3. 3 different types of strength and how to move between them

4. How to find safety when you need it the most

5. The difference between information and whole body transformation

6. How Aundi has come to understand strength now

Preorder Strong Like Water here

Want free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email

Related Resources:

Episode 15: CPTSD—The Pain of a Million Paper Cuts
Episode 4: What Do I Need to Know About Trauma?
How to Reclaim Your Inner Alert System

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend, What Happens When You Avoid It, and How to Create Space for Healthy Expression of Anger in Your Family

Today's episode is all about anger. It's an emotion that can do great harm and one that also has great benefits.

Whether you thrive on anger or try your best to bury it, one thing's for sure—we all have to reckon with it. When you learn to work with your anger, it can become a powerful force for good in your life and in the lives of the people you love. Today, my friend Rowena Day (see Episode 31) returns to the podcast as we discuss how we've learned to create space for healthy anger in our lives.

Here's what we cover:

1. Practical strategies to befriend and build trust with anger

2. The guilt and fear we feel about having anger

3. How to manage anger while parenting

4. Examples of speaking on behalf of anger vs. from it

5. The problem with comparing our pain to the pain of others

6. Jesus and anger

Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save.

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic, Why All Parts are Welcome, and How to Resolve Conflict in Your Relationships

Today, I am joined by my friend and co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul, Kimberly Miller, to discuss the almighty inner critic, how to get space from it, and how to bring this work into your relationships. Kim describes how she first encountered Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how combining it with Christian faith and practice changed her life.

We discuss:

1. How Kim finally healed the ache in her heart

2. The most ubiquitous part of the soul

3. Why self-acceptance is better than self-condemnation

4. How to differentiate from painful emotions

5. A real-time exercise for quieting your inner critic

6. How this work translates into marriage

Connect with Kimberly Miller at kimberlyjunemiller.com or on Insight Timer

Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Other Episodes in this Series:

Episode 39 Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings
Episode 40 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the Past
Episode 41 Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries
Episode 42 How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don't Have Time for this Work

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don't Have Time for this Work

You need your pain. Grief makes you real, and disappointment can inspire creativity, change, and growth.

Sadness brings texture to the joys we experience. And yet, it's also not wise to let sadness take us over.

In today's episode, we discuss how to set healthy boundaries with emotions like sadness and loneliness.

Here's what we cover:

—The surprising benefits of sadness

—3 types of grief

—The science of tears and how they help us

—What loneliness needs to heal

—Childhood play and how it informs your adult dreams

—What to do when you just don't have the time for the pain

Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Listen & subscribe to The Snack Show - https://tinyurl.com/TheSnackShowPodcast

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries

So many of us live at war with ourselves. We hate our anxiety or battle with fear.

We beat ourselves up or try to get rid of these parts of us. But this approach only makes things worse.

One of the most surprising ways to calm your anxiety is to stop waging war against it.

In today's episode we discuss how to honor your fear and soothe your anxiety so that you are in charge of them, not the other way around. Here's what we cover:

1. A picture of healthy internal boundaries

2. How anxiety tries to protect us

3. The surprising truth about fear

4. How to establish healthy boundaries with both fear and anxiety

5. Fear and the Bible

6. 5 Steps to work through fear and anxiety

Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the Past

Do you ever feel like a part of your soul is trapped in the past, holding you back from fully embracing the present and moving forward? Pain, fear, worry, or even bitterness can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. This is a common experience for all of us at times.

In today's episode, I guide you through a 5 step process of healing and growth. We'll discuss how to mend the parts of your soul that are causing you distress.

Here's what we cover:

1. 5 Steps to healing painful emotions

2. How to overcome criticism, shame, and judgment

3. 4 Questions to grow in self-discovery

4. A surprising way to pray throughout the day

5. Why parts of us struggle to experience God's love

Remember, this journey is a process, not a one-time event. With the right tools and guidance, you can learn to make peace with the parts of yourself.

Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp-- Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!

Organifi- Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Brooklinen-- Go to Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save!

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings

We all need a map to our soul.

A way to understand the emotions, the wounds, the areas that feel broken.

That's what I love about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy—it provides a map that everybody can incorporate into their daily spiritual practice.

It's your guide to navigating overwhelming thoughts and feelings.

Today on the podcast, I'm walking you through this map, including the following:

1. A picture of wholeness

2. The cost of not tending your inner life

3. A map of the parts of your soul

4. The 3 types of parts we all have

5. How Jesus relates to each part

6. What it means to have healthy boundaries inside your soul

Get your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!

Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here.

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 38: Taking a Risk on God—How to Stay Standing with Alli Patterson

Today on the podcast, I'm talking with my friend and teaching pastor at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, Alli Patterson, about her new book, How to Stay Standing.

In this powerful and practical episode, Alli shares her own story of hitting rock bottom when the scaffolding of her life collapsed, and how she rebuilt the foundation from the ground up. We discuss the following:

1. How tiny decisions can lead us toward devastating realities
2. What kept Alli from making eye contact for over 6 months
3. How shame sneaks in, even when you know you’ve been forgiven by God
4. The power of telling your story in safe places
5. 3 practical ways to build a strong foundation
6. How to take risks on God

Thanks to our sponsors:

Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!

Hiya Health— Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here .

Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 37: The Problem With Toxic Thinking & How to Name, Tame, and Transform the Messages You Tell Yourself

Today, we're discussing how to detox from the false beliefs that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to other people.

These hidden messages are sneaky. They might sound true in the moment, but they keep us from the healthy two-way relationships we need.

Here's what we discuss:

1. Examples of toxic thinking

2. How it contaminates our relationships

3. An example of toxic thinking from the Bible

4. How to re-frame toxic thoughts

Plus, I answer your questions:

—How do I communicate with other people about what I'm going through?

—Can spiritual bypassing become a form of numbing?

Thanks to our sponsor:

Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Resources in this episode:

For more on The 7 Red Flags of Friendship and Spiritual Bypassing, see Chapters 8 and 10 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook
Episode 1: What is Narcissism Really?
Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting?
Episode 35: Change is Hard—Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time
Episode 36: How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics

Today's episode is a real-time update on my own social media detox and how what started as a pause revealed a deeper need.

I also lay out a practical framework for you to use in identifying the distractions, numbing, or unhealthy coping tactics in your life and how to replace them with the life-giving, soul-nourishing things you actually crave.

We cover:

1. What my own detox revealed about my use of social media

2. A roadmap for how to pinpoint areas in your own life that might need a detox

3. Healthy ways to escape, soothe, or find comfort

4. What is the difference between a fast and a detox?

5. Can I find a healthy balance with certain "distractions"?

Thanks to our sponsors:

Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Brooklinen—Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save.

Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

Also in this series: Episode 35: Change is Hard—Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time

Please leave your questions about this topic here: Detox Question Doc

For more on how to "Start with Yes" see Chapter 6 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Episode 35: Change is Hard: Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time

Today, we're digging into the hidden dependencies that creep in and keep us from the good things we need. The New Year tends to be a time of hope. We sense the possibility of change and are energized to set goals. But so often we move forward without first addressing the hidden dependencies that thwart our best efforts.

Here's what we discuss in today's episode:

1. Why we all need to “detox” from time to time

2. Examples of “good things” we can start to depend on in unhealthy ways

3. The role of pleasure, comfort, and healthy escape

4. The essential question to ask yourself before you consider introducing any change

5. What I learned by going offline for 6 weeks

Thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!

Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!

Sign up for The Best of You Book Club launching January 9th.

Get 2 books free + free shipping when you buy 3.

Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Trailer: 3 Ways to Detox Your Heart, Soul, and Mind: How to Stop Numbing and Start Coming Alive to the Good Things You Need

This New Year, I'm trying something new: I'm going to respond to your questions as we move through a series.

Please leave your questions about this topic here: Detox Question Doc

Sign up for The Best of You Book Club here: www.dralisoncook.com/book

Get 2 books free + free shipping when you buy 3 here: churchsource.com/products/the-best-of-you-5-book-bundle

Check out Episode 3: What is self love and should I really love myself? for the MEPS Exercise referenced in this trailer.

The Best of You

By That Sounds Fun Network

Available on