The Compleat Dad Podcast
By Michael Marino
Which flavor of Laffy Taffy is the most disgusting? At what age should your child learn the truth about the fake-thumb trick? Why must the party who smelt it be held responsible for having dealt it? Join Scott Blumenthal and Michael Marino, creators of TheStraightBeef.com, as they help dads navigate these critical questions and a thousand more in The Compleat Dad Podcast, the world’s most trusted source of sage parenting advice.
In this special episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, Michael and Scott examine the global scourge that is greeting cards. Who thought these were a good idea?
September 10, 2021
Driving Dad Crazy
Watching a meteor collide with Earth is the most terrifying thought imaginable. Teaching your child to drive is a close second. In this special episode, Scott and Michael offer strategies for pretending to remain calm.
July 13, 2021
Smack in a Box
Michael and Scott help dads ease into a post-pandemic reality in which some people will be required to wear pants. Also: Michael unveils his spot-on Paul Lynde impression.
June 1, 2021
We’re back! In this very special return episode, Michael and Scott discuss the top 5 ways in which the pandemic has affected them—heck, lots of people—as parents. Spoiler alert: It’s not pretty. Make sure to check out our new sponsor Splint3va.
December 30, 2020
The Compleat Pre-Dad Podcast
Michael and Scott arrived at fatherhood in very different ways. The result was very much the same. A very special Compleat Dad Podcast if ever there was one.
May 6, 2020
Best Fictional Fathers of All Time
Our controversial Worst Game of Thrones Dads episode threatened drag ancient alliances asunder. We re-establish peace between houses in “Best Fictional Fathers of All Time,” a very special episode dedicated to dads who inspired us in profound ways, despite never actually existing.
April 6, 2020
Dealing with Other People's Kids
We LOVE our kids—no doubt about that. Other people’s kids? That’s more complicated. Determined by four primary variables, outlined in this very special episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, our feelings toward other people’s children range between the aforementioned LOVE and WHEN WILL THAT PUNK STOP WHINING?
March 17, 2020
The Compleat Kids Radio Show
Michael’s discovery of our “podcast” from 1982—back when we were The Compleat Kids—results in our most special episode ever.
February 11, 2020
Older Siblings vs. Younger Siblings
Who’s REALLY in control? In this special episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, Michael and Scott settle the question once and for all.
January 21, 2020
Every dad starts with an A+ in fatherhood. No one's been accidentally dropped, no one's been fed milk that should have been smelled first, and no one's been shown a movie that wasn't even remotely appropriate. (We could have sworn Ghostbusters was rated G. Really.) In this episode, Michael and Scott discuss how quickly that A+ becomes a C- (tops).
December 23, 2019
Growing Up Dad, Stage 3: The Preschool Years
Join Michael and Scott as they explore how having a preschooler changes the way dads think, communicate, and consider-if only for ourselves-whether that boo-boo in our tummy will require us to go poopy before saying night-night.
December 5, 2019
Growing Up Dad, Stage 2: Toddlers
Infants are eating, burping poop machines. Toddlers are are eating, burping poop machines on the move. Join Scott and Michael as they list the five ways to prepare for life with a human wrecking ball. For new dads, veteran dads, and non-dads alike.
October 8, 2019
Growing Up Dad, Stage 1: Infancy
Join Michael and Scott as they list the ways in which becoming a dad changes everything: Things we once cared deeply about (like our own health and well-being) fall by the wayside, while things we never gave two craps about before (looking at you, paper towels) are now vitally important. For new dads, veteran dads, and non-dads alike.
August 25, 2019
The Scourge of the Goody Bag
Studies show that more than 80% or parental anxiety can be linked to the phenomenon of goody bags. In this special episode of The Complete Dad POdcast, Scott and Michael explore the shadowy origins or goody bags and offer practical strategies for dealing with them.
July 9, 2019
In this special episode, Scott and Michael re-enact the one true test of fatherhood: taking a seven-year-old mini golfing. You won’t want to miss this one.
May 28, 2019
In this special episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, Scott and Michael help dads navigate one of the greatest challenges of fatherhood: awkward, forced small talk with other dads at birthday parties.
April 16, 2019
Psychic Powers Are Real! Here’s The Proof.
In this episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, Scott and Michael prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s possible to read a child’s mind—and with startling accuracy.
March 19, 2019
Should I Worry About My Child’s Toilet-Flushing Allergy?
Allergies to toothbrushing, dishwashing, and toilet-flushing are serious medical conditions beyond our children’s control, but seriously—they can’t turn off one #&@#^*% light switch? That’s all we’re asking.
March 5, 2019
Dad, Is The Movie Over Yet?
How well do Ghostbusters, Big, and The Bad News Bears hold up today? Settle in with some popcorn as Michael and Scott discuss the joys—and horrors—of sharing favorite childhood movies and TV shows with our kids.
February 28, 2019
Are You Parenting Hard Enough?
Are you spending enough time and energy stressing out about whether you're the best parent you can be? Find out in everyone's favorite game show, "Are You Parenting Hard Enough?"
February 5, 2019
The Monster Under Dad’s Bed
Scott and Michael get weirdly serious as they tackle the question of how to deal with kids’ fears. Includes a stern reprimand for guys named Steve.
January 22, 2019
You Gonna Eat That?
Michael is a "thoughtfully plan and prepare meals" kind of dad. Scott is a "the food thing will just work itself out" kind of dad. Who's right and who's wrong? Find out in this special episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast.
January 8, 2019
If Dads Were Weather Events
What kind of weather-dad are YOU—Tornado Tom, Hurricane Harry, or Chance of Thunderstorms Chauncey? Join Scott and Michael as they explore how each type responds to adversity—and what happens when a Tornado Tom and a Hurricane Harry encounter each other in the wild.
December 25, 2018
Can I Have a Llama? How To Deal With Saying No
In this episode, Michael and Scott offer responses to the age-old question, “Dad, can I pleeeeease have a llama [or some other insane thing]?” Plus, who will emerge victorious after a fierce game of “dueling diaries,” which pits father against llama-wanting son?
December 11, 2018
The Compleat Dad Top Five Spooktacular!
In this special Halloween episode, Scott and Michael list the five best and five most monstrous Halloween candies, as well as the top five ways to improve upon the greatest and weirdest festival of them all.
October 30, 2018
Don't Make Me Come Back There!
Traveling with your kids is probably one of the most trying things we have to endure as parents. Learn five ways to get through it on this episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast.
October 9, 2018
The Worst Game of Thrones Dads
Do you miss Game of Thrones? Join Scott and Michael as they rank the 5 worst Game of Thrones dads.
September 25, 2018
Farts and Fatherhood
In this special episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, Michael and Scott provide fathers with the tools they’ll need to talk to their children about farts and farting.
September 12, 2018
Don't Make Me Call the Easter Bunny, Johnny!
Kids get Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Jack Frost. Dads get jack squat. In the latest episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast, Scott and Michael provide dads with much-needed magical beings of their own. Bonus material helps dads break the hard truth about Santa to their toddlers.
August 28, 2018
Holy #%&$! You Curse in Front of Your Kids?
Short quiz for dads: 1. Is it OK to curse in front of your kids? 2. Which word is more potentially damaging to young ears – #%& or %!#&? 3. How come your #%&$ keeps %&?$ every five seconds? I mean, what the %#&? Learn the answers to these questions and more in the new episode of The Compleat Dad, "Holy #%&$! You Curse in Front of Your Kids?"
August 14, 2018
Top 10 Life Lessons
What is the correct way to use “that’s what she said” in conversation? How should you respond if someone asks you to pull their finger? In this episode, Michael and Scott discuss these and other critical life lessons that every father should teach his children.
August 1, 2018
It's A THING Now, Part 2
Join Michael and Scott for the dramatic conclusion of "It's A THING Now," a two-part exploration of parenting practices that were perfectly fine in the 70s and 80s but are now very much A THING. Taco Bell, anyone?
July 11, 2018
It's A THING Now, Part 1
When did play dates—and not just going outside to play—become A THING? When did dads stop letting their six-year-olds sit behind the wheel? When did it become unacceptable for kids to eat like crap? In part 1 of “It’s A THING Now,” Michael and Scott explore parenting practices that were perfectly fine in the 70s and 80s but are now very much A THING.
June 28, 2018
Can We Leave Now? How To Survive the 1st-Grade Dance Recital
Will this first-grade dance recital ever end? The answer might shock you.
June 4, 2018
The Six Types of Parents
What are the six most irritating types of parents? Meet the Parenting Legion of Doom in this episode of The Compleat Dad.
May 12, 2018
The History of Fatherhood, Part 2
In the second part of their Newbery Medal-winning series on the history of fatherhood, Scott and Michael examine the ways in which the release of A-ha’s landmark album "Hunting High and Low" irrevocably transformed the role of fathers in post-industrial societies.
April 17, 2018
The History of Fatherhood, Part 1
In the inaugural episode of The Compleat Dad Podcast—the first installment in a gripping two-part series—Scott and Michael explore the long-misunderstood relationship between fatherhood in ancient societies and A-ha’s 1985 landmark album "Hunting High and Low."
March 28, 2018