The Emily Diaries

A tower moment, lots of Ben & Jerrys and sweatpants moments, a strange response... This is how I navigate the hard moments and come back THRIVING.

The advice column you've all been waiting for! You can submit your question and story by leaving a voicemail at 615-669-0574 or write us at hello@emilywhiteside.com

Tis’ the season for hot cocoa, cashmere sweaters, and hallmark christmas movies.

The more I think about it, the more I realize my life has become a backwards Hallmark movie. I ditched the loser boyfriend, got out of my small town, moved to a city, and entered my successful business woman era.

Chapter 21: Hallmark Christmas movies

The chapter where I put on my Christian Louboutin pumps and sat in my closet with a glass of wine.

I hate to admit this but it’s honest. 

I am the type of girl who always reads the last chapter before the book is done to make sure the ending turns out the way I want it to.

I always look up who wins the bachelor.

And if I’m watching an intense movie I make my friend tell me the ending.

So imagine living and dating in a world where you never know the ending. It’s not easy always…

But I guess that’s what makes life so magical, its unpredictable.

And if there is one thing I am deeply proud of it’s this…

I am so happy I chose an non-conventional life

Chapter 20: The goddess and pink lingerie

The chapter where I felt like I lost passion in life...

The chapter when life felt messy and chaotic...

The chapter where I didn't know where I belonged anymore...

Have you ever felt this way?

Chapter 19: The uplevel elixir

I went on a date with a professional scam artist.

And of course, I didn't know he was a professional scam artist.

He ordered me a black luxury car service to pick me up that evening. I had on a dress that reminded me of an Italian romance novel. The driver opened my door as I climbed inside.

There he stood outside of one of my favorite restaurants in the city wearing a suit. He was coming from a work dinner. He told me he was a coach for a professional sports team.

And so the night begins...

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Here is what I want you to know: You are worthy of everything you dream of. You are capable of everything you dream of. In fact, if it wasn’t meant for you, you would never have the thought of it in the first place. You can be, do, and have everything you fantasize about. So we are no longer someone’s options. You are the whole damn cake babe, treat yourself like that.

Chapter 15 tells the story of how a neighbor became more than just a friendly hello... And how that one person had opened up so much on a journey of self discovery and self-love.

“I don't mind being burdened with being glamorous and sexual. Beauty and femininity are ageless and can't be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won't like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour; it's based on femininity.” 

― Marilyn Monroe

A lot of times I feel deeply misunderstood.

A lot of times I feel like it's so hard to hold my truth and be accepted.

But at the end of the day I know I can hold it all.

Chapter 14: The Marilyn Monroe Effect

The age old question, should women have sex on the first date?

Especially today with every one who pretends to be an expert in dating on TikTok, we can get so in our heads around this.

And then, if we do have sex on the first date, we hold even more shame and guilt than before.

Chapter 13: Sex on the first date

It took one final and short lesson for me to date as an energetic match.

And it took two final lessons to realize just because they’re successful, nice, or charming does not mean they instantly get to have you.

It’s time to make men work for it.

Chapter 12: Finding the energetic match, not the one

It felt like the universe was bringing me lesson after lesson, but this time in male form. I couldn't grasp how much I still had yet to heal, I felt like I was almost taking steps backwards.

I have done years of the healing work, mentorship, empowering myself and here I was facing again the same thing I’ve always dealt with: unworthiness.

Now I really wasn’t go backwards, it’s impossible to go backwards. what was actually happening was I had opened up new standards, a new paradigm of man i wanted to call in when I realized I was dating down.

When we open up a new desire, like my desire to date men who could match my soul expression, success, and heart, we must go through an initiation. Meaning, we have to let go of the old traumas, conditioning, and belief systems that will no longer serve us in the next chapter. 

That calibration process is not easy and I was going through it.

We've all had our era of disaster dating. Hot mess energy is actually one of the most brilliant ways to set new standards and evolve.

From a fight in the bar to dating a man who had a surprise girlfriend, I was in the chapter of life where everything felt like it was going wrong.

And this is when I got to choose again.

He left my heart in pieces out of nowhere. Break ups are not easy. But, we use that power to manifest even more into our lives. What was once felt like the hardest moment, was the biggest blessing in disguise.

A luxury loft, a new budding romance, and finding the best parts of me. Until, it crumbled. Listen in to Chapter 9 to hear it all.

Chapter 8: The Fairytale and the beginning of a new romance.

The National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or go to thehotline.org