The Gender Reveal Party - The Real Reveal Podcast

I have worked with Hailey Sault as their executive coach for many years. Mike Seyfer is one of the few CEO’s I’ve met that consistently walks his commitment to equity, and he uses his privileged voice to keep showing up for marginalized humans on this planet.

It has been my honor to speak at the “Believe in Better” events hosted by Hailey Sault, and it was again my honor to sit down with Mike and the ever-powerful Ann Elkins to shine some light on Transgender humans and their experience with healthcare in the United States.

One of the most frustrating parts of being a transgender human is that our experience is not validated in the world. I can’t tell you how many times something blatant has happened to me and when I share with others what I hear back is, “really!!! That happened to you, I just can’t believe it” Yes Really!

Yes Really, it took me four times of being told directly, “we don’t work with transgender people” or “those people” before I found someone willing to be my GP.

Really, we were told by three fertility clinics that they wouldn’t work with us. 

Really, when I was advocating for a young transman that had 16 cysts in his ovaries….

Really, it took him bleeding for months of pain before a Dr. would give him a prescription for a medically necessary hysterectomy. A surgery he wanted anyway.

And yes, Really when he finally got to the hospital for said hysterectomy, the surgeon refused to perform the surgery because “she” might want to have babies someday.   Instead that surgeon inserted an IUD adding to the pain of the young transman.

And then yes Really, it took me calling every gynecologist in town to get someone willing to see him and then finally take care of him the wat he should have been taken care of in the beginning.

For transgender humans to get good healthcare in our country, it always takes extra work, extra time, and extra money. Part of systemic discrimination is putting barriers up for access to the basic necessities of life--knowing that people will just give up when it’s too hard or too scary.

Transmen have a higher rate of ovarian cancer than most cis gender humans. This is due, in part, because many transmen, butches and masculine expressed non binary humans are not interested in the humiliation that comes with their legs in stirrups. Not to mention how uncomfortable it is to go to the office and then potentially be treated like a freak.

The last time I went in for a pap smear, I had to remind the nurse to give me a gown because the look of me had her so befuddled she forgot what I was there for.

All this to say we have a long way to go to make safe spaces for all humans especially in the area of healthcare and it I am grateful to Mike Seyfer, Ann Elkins and the whole Hailey Sault team for their consistent action toward their commitment to their mission of creating a healthy world for all people.

I hope you enjoy this podcast episode of the Believe in Better Podcast and keep following their work. These days we have to be very conscious of what we focus on. The truth is, there is more good happening in the world than bad; we just can’t see it because the bad gets all the press.

Knowing that what we focus on always expands, it’s a perfect time to start focusing on Believe in Better.

You can't talk about gender and the queer community without talking about drag. In fact, if you don't know this, the queer movement was started at a bar in New York City called Stonewall. Stonewall was a riot that happened when the police had continually broken and busted into this bar and arrested people over and over and over again. These people were being brutalized back then; you couldn't even wear a piece of clothing that was the opposite gender without possibly getting arrested for that and so finally these people decided that they had had enough and they fought back. We honor our trans women, drag queens, and butches every year when we celebrate Pride, when we celebrate the beginning of this movement but all the time drag is something that's important to this community and has a rich, rich history.

When I first moved back to Lawrence, Kansas I started hearing about this human and this drag queen by the name of Deja Brooks. I soon found out that Deja Brooks aka Brandon Eiseman has become a community fixture. She's a leader in our community, people look to her, and invite her places to help them promote things. It's pretty cool that this young human has turned drag into something that our community loves, that our community appreciates and now that our community has had exposure to in a powerful way. Anytime that I witness him performing and the way that our town responds to him, it blows my mind because I know that what that means is that it makes space for those younger people. So I honor him and I honor his work and once again, I thank him and all my friends for coming and sharing their stories.

A few years back I read an article about "Theybies", babies born to parents who refused to tell the world the "sex" of their child and used they/them pronouns. At the time I thought, "Wow, what a brave and generous thing to do for a child, to let them decide what their "gender" is."   

I am happy to say that in today's episode I get to interview one of those brave and generous parents.  I'm so inspired and encouraged by her and her husband's stand to allow their children to choose their own gender identity. Pegah Naemi Jimenez is a really powerful person. I am happy to have her as a new friend and even happier to share her story with you. Introducing Pegah Naemi Jimenez.   

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

A shout out to all my Butch brother and non-binary humans who walk through this world as an "other".

And big Love to all the Femmes that helped me realize I am a decent looking butch and not an ugly woman.

Rhon Drinkwater is the first self identified Butch I ever met after coming out again as Butch in 1997. There are no words that can express how important this person is to my life and to my story. Rhon is a lifelong friend and lovely human and I consider myself blessed to have crossed paths all those years ago.   

I hope you enjoy this conversation and hearing Rhon's story as much as I do sharing it with you. It is my joy to introduce you to my forever bruthah Daddy Rhon Drinkwater.  

Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Being seen or known is so important to us as human beings. My guest this week is one of my best girlfriends and one of my favorite humans to talk about gender with. Ani Anderson had a profound response to my show as a friend, but most importantly, as a woman. Waking up from being classically trained female is a journey a lot of us are experiencing. And while navigating that wake up call can be interesting and challenging, it is definitely worth the journey. I am delighted to bring you in on this conversation with my good friend Ani Anderson, where we talk about are classic training as women and the freedom and authenticity available in seeing this water that we swim in.   

Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

A few years back I read an article about "Theybies", babies born to parents who refused to tell the world the "sex" of their child and used they/them pronouns. At the time I thought, "Wow, what a brave and generous thing to do for a child, to let them decide what their "gender" is."   

I am happy to say that in today's episode I get to interview one of those brave and generous parents.  I'm so inspired and encouraged by her and her husband's stand to allow their children to choose their own gender identity. Pegah Naemi Jimenez is a really powerful person. I am happy to have her as a new friend and even happier to share her story with you. Introducing Pegah Naemi Jimenez.   

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

This human is someone I love more than I can express how much I appreciate his presence in my life.  He is my friend and my family.  One of my hopes with this podcast is to talk about gender in all it's forms.

Jose is a gay man that people often perceive as female and has the experience of being treated as a "woman" in the world. He shares his unique perspective on gender and all the ways that growing up a gay boy in Kansas informs his perspective.

I am more than thrilled to introduce you to one of my very best friends, Jose Cuevas.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

When you have been an activist for as long as I have you see people come and go. this work is exhausting. It's one step forward and two steps back most of the time.  In fact, the majority of the people that were activists with me in college do not still have that focus.  They still vote and are active politically, but they aren't doing the day to day grind. My friend Chris Hampton is the exception. Chris was my friend and fellow activist in 1995 and is still engaged in the work. Chris has worked for the ACLU and is the main connection point for Trans youth that have law suits pending in their states or with their school districts.

I wanted to you to meet Chris for a myriad of reasons, but most importantly because her commitment is so strong for queer youth. All of us do this work for our kids so the next generation will have it easier than we do. Chris lives for this work every day at the ACLU and it's constantly in her heart. It is my pleasure to introduce you to my friend Chris Hampton.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Suzanne Wheeler was the  highest ranking officer ever to transition while serving her country in as an Army Colonel. She is the Executive Director of the LGBT Mid America Chamber of Commerce, and I am happy and proud to call her my friend. This is a great story, you are not going to want to miss out. It is my great honor to introduce you to my friend, Suzanne Wheeler.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

It's interesting how you meet people and how you know people. Luc Malik Bensimon is someone I not only consider a friend but a brother in my queer framily and a powerful activist I respect. Luc is someone that I know without a doubt would always be there if I needed him. He is always a "Yes" to any request I make of him and always a "yes" to showing up for his community.  

Luc and I are bonded not because we transitioned together like some of my other trans man friends, nor because we go way way back like some others. In fact, Luc and I have never even been to each other's houses. We don't know each other's partners or family much. Yet we are bonded for life because of our experience with one another. Because of how we know each other, we will forever be connected.  

I met Luc for the first time on a panel. We were both there to educate a psychology class at Washburn about Trans folks by sharing our stories. That psychology class was the first time I heard Luc's story. At that time, I could not have guessed that Luc and I would be traveling around to small towns in Kansas telling our stories hoping to create safer places for Trans kids in our state for years to come. Folks, it is my great honor to introduce you to my friend, colleague, and brother, Luc Malik Bensimon.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

My friend Erin Brown is a prolific writer, artist, and activist and her work is transformational. Erin has been writing and speaking about rape culture and what it is to move through the world as a woman way before it was acceptable to do so. Erin's bravery to continue to address these issues always inspires me and every time we talk, I learn something new. Erin and I get together periodically and talk and usually we can burn through a few hours before we know it. I hope you enjoy our conversation. It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to my friend, Erin Brown.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

I remember vividly in 1992-93 when I was watching C-Span and they were debating if gays should be allowed in the military. I remember scanning the faces of the members of congress. They were all old white men that had never walked in my shoes. I got clear for myself that day, that as a queer person, I don't have representation in government. Well, it's a new day. In 2020, we had a record breaking year where seven transgender people were elected to serve in public office. The best part is that one of them is right here in Kansas. Stephanie Byers is the first out Native American Transgender person ever to be elected to office in the United States. We are blessed to have her in Kansas serving our state as she is wicked smart and savvy in politics. But most importantly, for the first time ever in my 55 years of life I actually have someone in my own state representing me in the House of Representatives. I am happy to introduce you to my friend and member of the Kansas House of Representatives, Stephanie Byers.

Each week a new podcast will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Imagine you are in a small town in western Kansas with a thriving chiropractic practice, you are a father of two kids, and you decide to live as your authentic self and come out as a woman.

This is the background story of my friend Tori Gleason. I love this woman!! Her bravery and willingness to be her authentic self in the face of so many obstacles inspires and empowers me. I am delighted to introduce you to my friend, Tori Gleason.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.  

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

In my show I talk about going back to my small town to visit after I had already been on testosterone long enough that no one recognized me. I can't imagine going through my transition in the town I grew up in. I even left my college town because I felt like I was the only one and needed community.   I know a few brave souls who transitioned in their hometowns and the next two podcasts will  feature such humans.

My friend Victoria Taurean is local to our Lawrence community. I first saw her perform at a fundraiser event several years ago. Since then I have been able to know her as she has made her transition.  It never ceases to amaze me the generosity of my guests to share their stories with you and Victoria is no exception. Her authenticity shines through as she shares her journey from her own transphobia to being her true self. Allow me to introduce you to my friend Victoria Taurean.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

In the past ten years, some of our most powerful allies in the queer community have been Moms. Their fierce mama bear stand for their children's happiness has created a forward momentum that I never would have expected. This week on The Gender Reveal Party podcast we interview my friend Debi Jackson. Debi started her journey as an activist by taking a stand for her child who came out to their family at the age of four. Since that time Debi Jackson has become a huge contribution to the queer/trans community as an activist and educator. This is a very informative interview and talk about #RealReveal,  let's just say you heard it here first. I'm delighted to introduce you to my friend and fellow activist, Debi Jackson.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

I can't even tell you how delighted I am to bring you this interview. Delight is the word for me around this interview. Wendi Moore-O’Neal is another friend of mine who is very generous in giving me her time. Wendi is someone who identifies as a female and as a woman but is very butch and a very butch expression, like gender expression, in the way that she dresses and in her masculine appearance. She's super hot and a lovely human being. Wendi is also a musician and she and I have a love of music in common. Again, I'm just delighted by this so I'm going to let you hear for yourself this powerful interview. I'm joyful and grateful to introduce you to another friend of mine, Wendi Moore-O'Neal.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. 

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

This week we're talking to Eliot Spielman and it's non-binary week at The Gender Reveal Party. So Eliot identifies as a non-binary human like I do and I met Eliot about 10 years ago and as soon as I met Eliot we were pretty close to instant friends. We started out watching basketball together and hanging out and it turns out we both have adopted kids out of foster care and we both just have a lot in common. They have been a huge support to me with my kid with special needs and somebody who really gets me, so I just appreciate their friendship to no end and I'm really grateful to introduce you to this extraordinary human being and that's really all I need to say. I had a great time talking to them and I think that you will enjoy this one too. It's my joy and pleasure to introduce you to Eliot Spielman.

Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Hi and welcome back to The Gender Reveal Party, I'm Jay Pryor your host. This week we are talking to April Patillo. April is another friend of mine. Once again, I want to thank April for her generosity and all of my friends for their generosity coming on the show and sharing with you the real reveal; revealing gender in ways that are powerful and amazing. And, you know, I was thinking about this today, gender is like poetry or art. I had a woman approach me who's been listening to the podcast and said, “could you give a definition for femme?”, and my immediate response was no I cannot, nor would I ever try. The thing about gender is that you can't just stamp one label on it and say that's what it is, there's not some stamp definition. Those of you who are cisgender heterosexual people who have lived nothing but the binary may have trouble getting your head around that and I get that. Sometimes I look at a piece of art and I think what in the actual heck did anybody think painting that. Now somebody could come up right behind me and say wow what a beautiful rose garden. They see a rose garden, I see... I don't know what that is, but it's art. Gender is like that. You cannot tell another person what their gender is, you can't tell another person what their gender expression is. Everybody's is different and that's the beauty of it. So you know, one of my big hopes in doing this work is to help you realize that gender is fluid and it runs the gamut and that means that you have the freedom to express yourself and your gender any way you want. So today we're meeting with my friend April Patillo who is also a sociologist and April's one of my smart friends. I have lots of friends and I have lots of smart friends and April's one of my smartest. I really love to surround myself with really smart people and April is somebody that, I think I say this in the interview, I can't remember it's been a minute, but any time that we're talking or having a conversation April can always bring in the theory, “let me tell you about the queer theory”. So I love that about her and I love - that's one of the reasons I wanted to bring her to you, is that I feel like you're going to learn a lot today. This is a little bit of a long interview, so if you want to, you know, do it in parts I understand that. But I really am delighted to introduce you to my friend April Patillo. Thanks for joining us.

Hi and welcome back to The Gender Reveal Party. I'm your host Jay Pryor and today we're talking about drag. You can't talk about gender and the queer community without talking about drag. In fact, if you don't know this, the queer movement was started at a bar in New York City called Stonewall. Stonewall was a riot that happened when the police had continually broken and busted into this bar and arrested people over and over and over again. These people were being brutalized back then; you couldn't even wear a piece of clothing that was the opposite gender without possibly getting arrested for that and so finally these people decided that they had had enough and they fought back. The people that fought back were trans women, drag queens, and butch women. You see, back then the people that were out were the people who couldn't hide so gender played a huge piece in that when you have an already really effeminate man or a man who likes to put dresses on they can't hide and so those people that were the ones that were out in the world and those people who were the ones who lost their lives and put their lives on the line for this movement. We honor our trans women, drag queens, and butches every year when we celebrate Pride, when we celebrate the beginning of this movement but all the time drag is something that's important to this community and has a rich, rich history. The first time I ever experienced a drag queen I was 19 years old. You want to get what I was like you might as well think of me as like a bumpkin or a hayseed, right? I'm coming out of a small town in Kansas, I've never even - like it's hard for me to even deal with my own gayness, let alone like have exposure to all the queerness that I have now or the loveliness that is queer. So I'm 19 years old and it's 1985. I'm in Topeka, Kansas and this drag queen - I'm at a drag show and this drag queen has just got the audience in the palm of her hand. I mean, she is just working this crowd and I am gobsmacked like this woman is gorgeous and she's dancing and she's lip syncing and she's got the crowd going. I don't know what the look was that I had on my face, but at some point she comes over to me, nudges me, and winks and says, “don't forget what's under this skirt, honey.” I had forgotten! I'm not gonna lie, she was a beautiful woman and it embarrassed me, obviously it shocked me. I'm 19 years old and you know, my face got bright red. The point was I fell in love with drag queens right then and there. And throughout my life, of course, again, you can't be queer without experiencing drag queens. So I've done, well I've known a lot of drag queens, I've been to a lot of shows, I know about the pageantry. I've had friends involved and friends in high levels in pageantry and I've even done drag. I did a drag king show before I transitioned and that's a whole other story, but I'll tell you about that some other day.

These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is an annual observance on November 20 that honors the memory of the transgender people whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence.   

What is Transgender Day of Remembrance? 

Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) was started in 1999 by transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor the memory of Rita Hester, a transgender woman who was killed in 1998. The vigil commemorated all the transgender people lost to violence since Rita Hester's death, and began an important tradition that has become the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.  

"Transgender Day of Remembrance seeks to highlight the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence. I am no stranger to the need to fight for our rights, and the right to simply exist is first and foremost. With so many seeking to erase transgender people -- sometimes in the most brutal ways possible -- it is vitally important that those we lose are remembered, and that we continue to fight for justice." 

- Transgender Day of Remembrance founder Gwendolyn Ann Smith   

TDOR is a memorial. An opportunity to say the names out loud to honor their lives being cut short.   

Aurora Higgs and I read the following names aloud. I hope you will take a moment to listen or read.     

Tyianna Alexander Samuel Edmund Damián Valentín Bianca “Muffin” Bankz Dominique Jackson Fifty Bandz Alexus Braxton, also known as Kimmy Icon Braxton Chyna Carrillo, who also went by Chyna Cardenas Siblings Jeffrey “JJ” Bright Jasmine Cannady Jenna Franks Diamond Kyree Sanders  Rayanna Pardo Jaida Peterson Dominique Lucious Remy Fennell Tiara Banks  Natalia Smut Iris Santos Tiffany Thomas Keri Washington  Jahaira DeAlto Whispering Wind Bear Spirit Sophie Vásquez Danika “Danny” Henson, who also went by Pryynce Daniel and Niia Da Don  Serenity Hollis Oliver “Ollie” Taylor Thomas Hardin Poe Black, who also went by Oliver Jackson and Legion EJ Boykin, who also went by Novaa Watson Aidelen Evans Taya Ashton Shai Vanderpump Tierramarie Lewis Miss CoCo Pooh Johnson Disaya Monaee Briana Hamilton Kiér Laprí Kartier Mel Groves Royal Poetical Starz Zoella “Zoey” Rose Martinez Jo Acker Jessi Hart Rikkey Outumuro, a.k.a. Tru Starlet Marquiisha Lawrence Jenny De Leon  

We send our love to all the families and friends of these people, our siblings, who have lost their lives to hate and bigotry.    

In loving memory Transgender Day of Remembrance 2021

Meet Sean Burgandy. This next interview you're about to hear is a fun one for me. It's one of my best friends, and I say that in the very beginning when I interviewed Doc - this is one of my best friends. You're going to discover that I'm somebody who has a lot of best friends. So it's true, I have a lot of people in my life, I'm a huge extrovert. According to the Myers-Briggs personalities thing I'm a 90% extrovert and my whole life I've had a lot of friends. And throughout my life there's people that at one time or another or some circumstances, we end up being best friends. As far as I'm concerned once I have a best friend, I have a best friend. So I have a lot of best friends. And so this next person, Sean Burgandy, I can't even remember how we met. I really don't remember. I was in Washington, D.C. I know that and I met Sean and Sean was the volunteer coordinator for an event then called the True Spirit event. That event was a conference for trans people, I met him in ‘99, so the conference was in fall of ‘99.  When I met him he was the volunteer coordinator and he recruited me to volunteer for the conference and also to help him coordinate volunteers. So long story short, Sean and I became fast friends working together on that and we've been friends ever since. He is one of my best friends and he's somebody that I can count on and know is going to be there for me. We're there for each other, we have been for like 20 years.   I want to really acknowledge and appreciate, first of all, that my friends come on here and do this and they're out in a particular way on this show that maybe they're not out everywhere in the world. For Sean in particular, Sean is someone who for the most part in his world is what we call stealth, at least that's what we called it back in the day. So it's really important to understand that there are and I'm introducing you to these out trans and non-binary humans and all kinds of people in the way they identify that they're out and not everybody in the world is out. So it's important for you to know that you have trans people who are your kid’s teachers and your accountants and your male carriers and your every profession you can imagine. There are trans people out there serving you every day and working with you every day and you don't know. You don't know that they are trans, and when you see some of my friends as we go through this you're gonna understand you can't pick a trans person out in the crowd. Now a lot of people think that you can and that's very frustrating for me because it's not true. Simply you can't.  So my friend Sean is coming on to this interview and he's super generous to do this because he is out to his friends and the people who know him, but for the rest of the world he's not out. He's stealth and he has a career and a life where he's not out, so I really want to appreciate and acknowledge Sean for coming on and doing this interview with me first of all. Second of all, I just love this human and I hope that you love him as much as I do. Sean and I laugh a lot; Sean makes me laugh a lot. He's a funny person, he uses humor in all kinds of ways and so I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I enjoyed having it with him. Again, I hope you love Sean as much as I do and I think you'll learn a lot today. So welcome back to The Gender Reveal Party and I'd love to introduce to you my good friend Sean Burgandy.   Each week we release a new video interview with another human being that has something to say about gender. Our goal is for our audience to understand that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Penises and vulvae are sex parts, not gender. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.