Them Before Us Podcast

Katy and her nineteen co-authors submitted their manuscript for book #3, Pro-Child Politics, this week, hear the update to this resource you will want before the election this fall. Jenn and Katy also chatted about the response to her Christianity Today op-ed and answered some other questions that came in through social media.

In this episode, we get a sneak peak into Katy's third book, a collaboration of experts on how every major political issue (energy, education, business) could be seen from the perspective of children's rights. Katy also gives us the rundown on her upcoming Rome trip for the Casablanca Declaration meeting.

Next we take on some questions from social media:

• What are some of the differences in care and investment from non-related adults in a child's life compared to a biological parent?
• What is "selective reduction" in IVF and what are the statistics?

(PLEASE NOTE: At min 17:25, Katy accidentally says "adoption" twice when she means to say "abortion." Selective Reduction is a term used to mean culling out or terminating human embryos, generally when multiple embryos implant and that was not intended.)

• Is the Pro-Life movement going to hope the IVF controversy fades away since it's not a winning political issue?
• Michigan is set to overturn it's ban on surrogacy for pay (commercial surrogacy). Why is commercial surrogacy so important to some?
• What's the best way to handle being invited to a surrogacy baby shower?

Jenn chats with long time friend of Them Before Us, Stephanie Blessing about discovering she was conceived using a sperm "donor" (she likes to make it clear she doesn't consider it altruistic or a donation) and how it impacted her life, both in answering questions she'd always had but also in shaking up the life she thought she knew.

My Daddy's Name is Donor - https://thembeforeus.com/my-daddys-name-is-donor-study/

Stephanie's story on TBU - https://thembeforeus.com/stephanie-blessing-2/

Jenn interviews Joey Pontarelli, the Founder & CEO of Restored, a ministry to "to help teens and young adults from divorced and broken families heal and build virtue, so they can break the cycle of dysfunction and divorce." They talk about the negative impacts of divorce on their own lives and in the lives of the teens and young adults Joey ministers to and how we can rebuild a healthy marriage culture.

See more at https://restoredministry.com/.

Katy is back from a weekend of speaking and meetings in our nation's capital during March for Life weekend and we take on a few more questions from listeners:

- What should nurses that work with labor, delivery and other professions that encounter children's rights violating technologies do?

- How should the parent at home help their kids handle parent absence because of jobs like military deployment?

- How can we make evangelicals listen to the ethical issues with IVF and surrogacy?

Katy and Jenn chat about the TBU stance on adoption and foster care, whether or not a single mom should pursue dating, the SNL skit about gay men trying to have a baby and more.

• Is Them Before Us anti-adoption/foster care?
• Katy's thoughts on the SNL skit about gay men "trying to have a baby."
• How has Big Fertility (ivf, surrogacy, etc) gotten away with not having the same standards as adoption?
• What's the difference between surrogacy and adoption when a child loses birth mom in both?
• Should a single mom be trying to force a relationship with her child's bio dad, stay single, or try dating?
• Should step-parents adopt their stepchildren when bio parent isn't in the picture?

Katie B. and Jenn talk about the latest study saying the kids raised by two men do better than everyone else's kids and why when we look at studies about same-sex parenting, we see that the decades of social science data is always true: a child does best raised by married bio mom + dad.

In this episode, Jenn and Katy share their London experience at the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship, the better story for marriage & family in the future, why they believe this is a global movement, and how we can create a better marriage & family culture in our own lives.

Jenn is joined by author and professor Melissa Moschella for an in-depth conversation on natural law, how it helps humanity flourish, and serves as the basis for protecting the rights of children.

For more of Professor Moschella's work, check out: https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/author/melissa-moschella/

Jenn and Katy talk about the newly elected U.S. Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and his "covenant marriage", their upcoming London travel plans to join the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship Conference, and Melissa Kearney's new book "The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind".

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ARC Forum: https://www.arcforum.com/

NPR article discussed: https://www.npr.org/2023/10/22/1207322878/single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality

Business Insider article discussed: https://www.businessinsider.com/mike-johnson-covenant-marriage-definition-divorce-speaker-house-2023-10?op=1

Virtual Webinar: https://bit.ly/TBUgala

In this episode, Jenn had the honor of interviewing brilliant legal scholar, author, and speaker Professor Robert P. George. George helps us further understand the concept of "natural law" and the rights & responsibilities adults have concerning justice in a society and the rights of children. You can see more of Professor George's work at his website: https://robertpgeorge.com/.

Jenn and Katy chat about a woman who determined to use a sperm donor and become a "single mom by choice" in her 40's and about EPSN anchor and host Erin Andrews' infertility journey that culminated in using a surrogate. Unfortunately her "new way to talk about surrogacy" disregards the rights of the children.

Jenn & Katy talk about the new book release, traveling to London, interviews with Tim Pool and Alex Clark on "The Spillover" and all the other projects in the hopper for Them Before Us.

In this series wrap, Jenn and Katy cover the final chapter of  Them Before Us, Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement, by discussing Chapter 10: Join the Movement, in which they cover the myriad ways you can become part of the global children's rights movement. From simple activities like  getting engaged with our social media content, signing up for, and sharing our newsletter, joining our advocate group, helping to build our media and political networks, and by donating to our cause.

In this episode, Jenn and Katy discuss the chapter "Adoption" from Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement. If parents have a right to their biological mother and father, isn't TBU against adoption? The case is made that adoption is a good for society when it is properly understood and done with the rights and needs of the child in mind; Adoption treats the child as the client. It is strongly contrasted with the third-party reproduction industry, which makes children the products for adults.

Jenn and Katy continue their discussion of each chapter in Them Before Us Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement. This week, they tackle the ethical questions surrounding surrogacy: is it an altruistic pursuit that helps women unable to conceive or who, for whatever reason, cannot bring a pregnancy to fruition? Or is surrogacy an ethical violation that commodifies women and children?

Jenn and Katy discuss chapter 7 of Them Before Us, Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement, the dark side of Donor Conception. They explore the reality of gamete "donation" to Big Fertility, and the immoral practice of purchasing sperm and eggs in an effort to customize children. Them Before Us encourages our children’s rights advocates to consider the myriad potential harms to women who donate eggs, the women who rent their wombs for gestation, and the potential mental and physical health crisis possibilities of a child with potentially hundreds of half siblings living in their vicinity, and other ethical questions Big Fertility would prefer we all ignore.

Jenn and Katy address one of the most pervasive lies in popular culture, the myth that there’s “no difference” in outcomes for children raised by same-sex parents when compared to children raised by their own mother and father.

In our first Q&A bonus episode, Katy addresses questions we’ve received from our followers on social media:

• Why did Katy start Them Before Us?
• How does Katy's mom feel about TBU and Katy's work?
• What do we think about "inter-racial" adoption?
• What's the TBU position on same-sex couples adopting?
• How can we "sustain marriage" in modern society?
• What's a small scale way to support Them Before Us?

Jenn and Katy tackle a societal issue that has impacted the majority of the population, Chapter Five from her book Them Before Us: Divorce. They explore how much divorce hurts children, and how it impacts every aspect of their lives, from academics, to their physical and mental health; they make the case that divorce must be the last resort for any adults that have the best interest of their children at heart. This episode provides the information and tools needed to effectively discuss this heavy topic and hope for those who want to break the cycle.

Jenn and Katy discuss the true definition of marriage, the importance of the marital institution as it relates to the rights of children, and the socio-cultural impact that followed the 2015 SCOTUS decision that redefined it.. . They explore poly-relationships, cohabitation, no-fault divorce, and where the blame truly lies for the dismal state of marriage in the west.

Jenn and Katy continue to unpack chapters of Them Before Us; Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement. This podcast expounds on Chapter Three: Gender Matters. They deep dive into the cultural “gender is a social construct” nomenclature, and make the case that “parenting” is a misnomer; the reality is that “parenting” is best defined as “mothering” and “fathering.”

Jenn and Katy editorialize on two trending news stories that circulated this past month and consider them from the perspective that’s usually missing: the children's. Today’s episode explores the difficulty in the quest to procure a “good sperm donor”, and whether “reciprocal IVF” can satisfy the profound longings children have for familial connection.

Esquire article: https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/a44519929/sperm-donor-search-what-i-learned-about-men/

People Magazine article: https://people.com/couple-carrying-each-others-baby-reciprocal-ivf-give-birth-days-apart-my-extraordinary-family-7556199

Jenn and Katy discuss why “Biology Matters” the second chapter of her book, Them Before Us - Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement. They explore the importance of the relationship between a child’s biological mother and father and the social-emotional nourishment a child derives from being raised in a home with married parents who love one another, living under the same roof. Also up for discussion is the difference between step-parents, mom’s boyfriend, and adoptive parents; and finally they share some inspiring stories about non-related adults who are putting them (the children) before us (the adults).

Jenn and Katy talk about chapter one in the TBU book: What makes something a right and the what the difference is between natural and legal rights as it pertains to children. Then they give the children's rights perspective on three trending surrogacy news stories from across the globe.

We flip the script in this Them Before Us podcast episode, where Katy interviews Jenn about the confusion she experienced around gender and sexuality, and how her lived experience uniquely qualifies her in this mission that insists adults do hard things on behalf of children.

In our kick-off episode, Katy and Jenn cover the origins of our global movement, Katy's juicy (not juicy) backstory, what sets Them Before Us apart, and our plans for the future.