The Mother Rogue: Local and Long Distance Non-Custodial Parenting
By Cristina Miller
The Mother Rogue is a podcast about non-custodial and long distance parenting, as told by a non-custodial, long distance parent. For 14 years I've been a NCP. For 9, an LDP. I've learned a lot on the road. Every week I talk about how to live apart from your kids while staying connected to them. Feedback welcome!
As I am fond of reminding people, I've been a NCP for 15 years...and I fought my fearless co-parent for 14 of them. I fought to see my son. I fought to get missed visitation made up. I fought to be the person TheEx called when he needed a babysitter. I fought to be included in every minute of my son's life. I fought for TheEx to parent the way I thought our son should be parented. I fought for all the things I thought I should have as a NCP.
...and then I stopped fighting. I learned to value what was most important: the person - the child - I so desperately wanted to be important to. The child I so desperately wanted to have a relationship with.
I didn't give up. I didn't decide to follow the legal stuff about keeping my head held high. I decided to enjoy my brilliant kid, and to stop being so hard on myself.
This episode, we talk about that...
The current COVID-19 crisis has caused a lot of contention in the co-parenting community. Visitation is being denied in some cases. Parents are arguing in others. Missed visits are not being made up, or the residential parent is not agreeing to allow them to be made up when the crisis lifts. Many of us, including myself, are separated from our kids and don't know when we'll see them again. Before you call your divorce attorney, listen to my direct from the trenches experience. As always, if you need to vent, cry, rant, or rave, you know where to find me on Twitter: @cristinamr68
#divorce #custody #non-custodial parent #non-custodial Mom #non-custodial dad
Kids have emergencies. Kids get hurt. Kids get discouraged. Kids go to the E/R. Kids .. well they're mini-humans. They have all the same stuff adults have. When you're a long distance or local custodian more than 45 minutes away, you can't always get there when emergencies happen. First of all: don't feel guilty about that. YOU are human. This week, I talk about ways to be there for your kids when emergencies happen and you can't be there in person. As always, feel free to reach out with your feedback, comments, suggestions for future episodes, etc.: CristinaMR68@gmail.com; @cristinamr68 (Twitter); www.themotherrogue.com.
You are all GREAT parents!!!!
Hello Mother and Father Rogues!
I am back from Holiday Break. I took some time to breathe, read, and reorder my life. Oh yes! I also spent time with my Leading Man #1. Anywhoo, break's over. This week's episode of The Mother Rogue is a reminder that it's important to live in the empty spaces we are not parenting, and a suggestion on how. Happy listening! As always, feel free to send me your feedback, topic suggestions, or if you just want to commiserate about missing your son or daughter. Cristinamr68@readactively.org #noncustodialmom #noncustodialdad #noncustodialparent #divorce #custody
In this episode, I breathe through the nagging feeling I have has since last Wednesday that I should be in NJ with my son... like, that actual moment last Wednesday. Tips for how you can breathe through those same moments, and more ways to stay connected to your kid when you’re apart.
It’s always so hard to drop our kids off with their residential parent at the end of our time with them. It hurts. Maybe, though, we should be happy for that time and try not to let the pain of separation mar the memories of that all too brief visit.
Thinking today of all the ways non-custodial moms are still actively involved in their kids lives moms. Fun fact: you can be a helicopter parent from several hundred miles away. Just ask my son’s teachers. 😊
What to do when your fearless co-parent and ex doesn’t ask you before providing information about you to someone who cares for your child... Or gives wrong or out of date information about you. Ah the joys of being or having an ex!
Happy Friday Fellow Road Warriors,
Today I talk - okay, ramble on, let's call it what it is - about how to connect with your child's teachers and medical providers and tips for staying informed about your child's life. I also explain how "attend" events, such as parent teacher conferences, doctor's appointments, and school events when you can't actually hop a plane or hit the highway.
Happy Listening! As always, feel free to reach out with comments, suggestions, questions, or for commiseration: Cristinamr68@readactively.org.
You are all great parents!
Being a non-residential noncustodial mom is hard. Not only do we miss our kids, but society tends to assume the worst about us because we don’t live with our children. Let’s talk about that. Over coffee, of course…
As a non-custodial parent, you can end up feeling like you have no control over your child’s like and your fearless co-parent has carte blanche to do what they please. Let’s talk about that for a sec...
In this episode, we take a ride down MA Route 2 as I expound on the outright stinkiness of being unable to get to your kid when they're hurting physically, emotionally, or socially. I also offer a list - in between trying to get out of fellow commuters riding my Toyota's drift - on things you can do when this happens. Feel free to count the number of "Uuummmm"'s with me, too.
The Mother Rogue
I routinely ignore colds, coughs, bumps, and bruises until I am a week out from seeing my Leading Man #1, at which point I realize that in order to enjoy my time with my son, I have to be healthy. In this episode we explore how NOT to be me by taking proactive care of yourself, why that is especially important as a long distance parent, and why mental health is as important as physical health. Enjoy!
When you're non-residential or long distance custodian you have a lot of "non-parenting" time on your hands. This episode offers suggestions for filling that time so you don't miss your kids too much when you're away from them.
I recorded this one from my kitchen on my laptop, so no driving static. Yay! :)
Tips and techniques for staying connected to your kids when you’re not visiting them. And give yourself a pat on the back if you’re trying to stay connected if you’re listening to this podcast when you’re A good parent.