Theronathon! - A journey through the career of Charlize Theron
By The Completists
We talk about the career of Charlize Theron, one movie at a time. We've basically copied Denzel Washington is the Greatest Actor of All Time, Period (which is the greatest podcast of all time, period), but for Charlize Theron.
New episodes whenever there are new Charlize movies!
New episodes whenever there are new Charlize movies!
Theronathon! - A journey through the career of Charlize TheronJul 24, 2020
00:00
57:50
The Old Guard
Immortals! Suicide by science! An old premise with new ideas and explanations! Charlize punches and swings axes with the best of them in another new adaptation of a graphic novel, it's The Old Guard!
Jul 24, 202057:50
Bombshell
Revisit a time before orange was allowed on Fox News! Then watch a monster get toppled by the hot women he coveted! We're reviewing Charlize's 3D printed nostril plugs AND her ability react without moving her face!
Mar 14, 202039:42
The Addams Family (2019)
If you were to meet them in real life you'd think they were a family of obsessive compulsive magicians, but fear not! They're only animated here so the effect is diminished!
Oct 31, 201935:07
Long Shot
We're back and surfing the crest of Charlize's blue wave! Love is love, even between a goddess and a schlub!
Jun 13, 201935:26
New podcast coming up!
Now we've done the Theronathon, we're turning our attention to the most beloved actor in the world...
Aug 09, 201803:01
Sweet November
Fall in love with a belligerent pixie dream girl in our sort of final episode! (For now, until Charlize comes out with her next movie, of course.) Surprising takes abound on this collaboration with a sarcastic Keanu Reeves and we sum up our thoughts on our girl's whole career as best we can!
Jun 07, 201801:03:19
Mad Max: Fury Road
A full compliment of R. Jr (with the triumphant return of Justin Tunney) relentlessly chases the greatness of the simplest but most spectacular entry in Charlize's career!
May 31, 201859:17
The Astronaut's Wife
It's The Alien Advocate! It's homicidal K-PAX! It's Rosemary's Baby... FROM SPACE! Special guest Sara Kantner helps us diagnose just what the heck is up with Johnny Depp's hair!
May 24, 201850:18
In the Valley of Elah
Skillful curmudgeons unite to solve a murder and become aware of a national existential crisis! You know, like in the Bible!
May 17, 201844:18
Tully
30% spoiler free! We are rejuvenated after our last few reviews by a late entry from the Young Adult team!
May 10, 201849:51
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
Mike Rubino brings some expertise to our analysis of Woody Allen's influences, which somehow do not involve being hypnotised into making a movie every year.
Apr 26, 201847:20
Celebrity
The law of averages determines that if you make enough movies you'll eventually make at least one that's... as awful as this. Woody Allen earns his reputation as a sex pest and makes us want to avoid following our hearts in a densely appalling tale about nothing!
Apr 19, 201846:37
Dior J'Adore
Explode your pearls and climb a ribbon to the future. What started as a joke is now an actual episode. A limousine is a car. A podcast is sound. Is this in France?
Apr 12, 201822:20
Saturday Night Live 2000
The first one's always a little rough, so don't feel bad. Instead feel bad that this show commented on issues that it itself was perpetuating!
Apr 05, 201828:57
Sleepwalking
Pick a thing to be about, movie! What genre are you? Are you a scam? We're on to you Charlize and Woody!
Mar 29, 201846:22
Gringo
A new release! 50% spoiler free! A great cast propped up by someone other than Charlize!
Mar 16, 201844:57
North Country
Our no. 1 fan Tracy McNeil brings her legal expertise and gets us fired up (!) for the horrific, dejecting struggle for incremental justice for women.
Mar 09, 201859:59
Hancock
Do you like your superheroes irresponsible? Well sober up and step into a lot of unexplored metaphors and implications!
Mar 02, 201851:32
Waking Up in Reno
Join us on a journey of self discovery where we learn that our tolerance for tasteless movies has slackened somewhat!
Feb 23, 201844:24
The Road
(Insert Disaster Here) and be miserable! This week's somber episode discusses the value of art with no hope and the most pragmatic techniques for surviving the apocalypse. Band together and be friendly, basically!
Feb 09, 201850:29
Astro Boy
Robots! Science! Infanticide! Consider respecting sentient machines, or not being wasteful, or standing up to corruption, but mostly just fight for a little bit!
Feb 02, 201838:02
the yards
Say hi to your dying mother for us! This mumblecore prototype tries to be The Godfather but ends up more like a depressing and awkward soap opera.
Jan 26, 201838:00
Monster
We're back and living our best life with our true love Abby Fudor! We're gonna laugh, we're gonna skate and we're gonna murder to keep it all together!
Jan 19, 201855:59
Reindeer Games
Chris Maxwell and Brad Davis of the podcast High on Film join us in reviewing a seasonally appropriate casino heist and multiple homicide as silly and explosive as a Christmas pudding soaked in Calvados!
Dec 24, 201752:02
Hollywood Confidential
In an alternate universe where ceiling mounted video conferencing was better in 1997 than Skype is now, Charlize is a series regular on a show about an 11 person private investigation firm run by Edward James Olmos. We briefly cross into that world this week by watching what seems to be that shows failed pilot!
Dec 15, 201739:41
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
A beloved and respected man turns out to be a monster enabled by the institutions that benefit from his talent. We couldn't have picked a worse movie in our attempt to escape that topic!
Dec 08, 201745:01
The Burning Plain
Unfulfilling lives peppered with infidelity and self harm are inexplicably scrambled when a pretentious screenwriter decides to direct his own work.
Nov 17, 201741:32
Saturday Night Live 2014
These comedians are duty bound by an unbreakable oath to always produce 90 minutes of sketch every week, so just quietly ponder the value of comedy instead of actually laughing, because that's the way it's always been done!
Nov 10, 201736:50
Arrested Development
Will we just say this show is great even though it's a comedy that doesn't make us laugh? Will we seem like we're dumb if we don't? Let's assess and evaluate! We're Eval-Ass-Aters!
Nov 03, 201745:26
Water Station II - Halfway Recap
Jog in place for a minute and catch your breath, we're recapping! Any regrets, surprises or things you'd change about this experience? We lay all out all of ours that we can think of, but it's late so there's also a lot of rambling.
Oct 27, 201740:50
A Million Ways to Die in the West
We get two of the funniest people in Pittsburgh to help us dissect all the ways Seth MacFarlane fails to be funny in the west.
Oct 20, 201756:27
The Orville
Seth MacFarlane drifts aimlessly in the void of modern optimistic sci-fi. For some reason Charlize joins him, but you shouldn't unless you like all the elements of your entertainment to be lame.
Oct 14, 201741:51
Dark Places
Straight talking, straight forward and straight to video, all with good reason! This is the closest we think our girl will ever get to a Lifetime movie, but it's got the casting, outfits and even a few performances to exceed our expectations.
Oct 06, 201748:53
The Last Face
Experience Sean Penn's pretentiously vile, depressing and utterly vacuous depiction of conflict in Africa, inexcusably told through the lens of an unconvincing love story between two white saviors. A movie so unentertaining that it seems deliberate, we're not quite sure what to make of it!
Sep 29, 201748:52
Trial and Error
Michael Richards, what was ever the appeal of you? This week we see a comedy, in very significant inverted commas, in which the heroes commit a litany of offenses including sexual assault. But you know it's awkward, wacky and charming because one of them is clumsy!
Sep 22, 201755:29
Mighty Joe Young
We finally have an episode with the soothing presence of Justin Tunney, and the giant gorilla of incompetence has stopped playing hide and seek with the mic input!
Sep 15, 201758:51
Head in the Clouds
This week we flutter about, frustratingly thin and carefree in the face of fascism and the plagiarism of better movies.
Sep 01, 201744:42
Trapped
Just shoot Kevin Bacon.
Aug 25, 201745:34
Brandon Flowers - Crossfire
The Creator of our AMAZING theme tune, Alex Reed brings some uncharacteristic professionalism to our analysis this week! Charlize fights ninjas to the sound of big poppy earnestness!
Aug 18, 201729:20
Battle in Seattle
This week we accidentally challenged our beliefs in the right to free assembly and the effectiveness of protest with the help of Charlize's cliched and melodramatic character arc. This should be good, we should support it! What happened, Stuart Townsend?
Aug 11, 201746:46
Water Station I - Lady Led Action Movies
Slow down and catch your breath, then have it taken away again by some of our favorite action movies with ladies in the lead. This week we take a quick break from Charlize to drink in some other badass women. We've got spies in the city and the forest, MMA fighters in the present and racist cyborgs in the future!
Aug 05, 201738:23
Atomic Blonde
Smash the system! Break the rules! Just don't watch the trailers! We're so excited that Sean Collier got us into an early screening of Charlize's new punk spy movie. She kicks so much ass you can practically feel the bruises!
Jul 29, 201756:14
The Devil’s Advocate
Incest! Murder! Pedophilia! Save your soul and run! This week we have devilish comedy superstars Liz Labacz and Abby Fudor of Frankly Scarlett (with our very own Robin Hitchcock) advocating for everything in this movie with the addition of Hilarity! While we try to resist their overpowering and seductive ways they take us with full force and give us a plot summary that'll scar us for life.
Jul 22, 201701:01:13
15 Minutes
We regret to inform you that 15 Minutes can feel longer than 2 Days in the Valley when going on a nonsensical murder and movie making rampage. Our villains shouldn't have any chance of becoming famous, but will they? Does anyone even remember this movie?
Jul 14, 201753:06
That Thing You Do!
Make a maverick decision that leads to two different lengths of journey through the machinery of fame, or stay home and seduce your dentist! It's the 60's, there's catchy tunes and chimps impersonating The Beatles!
Jul 01, 201751:49
Men of Honor
Strenuously step towards validation and go bravely into the depths of this very ordinary and not particularly challenging biopic. We admire the most extraordinary drunken eye rolling and question the legitimacy of having competitive breath holding apparatus in a bar!
Jun 23, 201757:55
Kubo and the Two Strings
Flee with special guest Sean Collier to protect your remaining eye from monsters like an undercurrent of systemic racism and some brutally emotional gut-punches. This gorgeous and wondrous adventure will take you through a uniquely non-specific feudal Japan, that's populated inexplicably by white people!
Jun 16, 201752:37
The Huntsman Winters War
Go back in time and discover the sister you never mentioned before, then come forwards in time and attempt to talk about a movie that has no inspiration behind it! Child soldiers, 3D ice printing and oily scorpion tails can all be extrapolated from the fairytale Snow White, apparently.
Jun 09, 201746:36
Snow White and the Huntsman
Learn the true origin story of this podcast as we celebrate Charlize's fabulous feast on the scenery of this YA-esque take on a classic fairy tale. YOU WILL DO THIS FOR ME, LISTENER.
Jun 04, 201753:28
Young Adult
ALERT: We may have reached peak Charlize. Journey back to your unappealing roots and affirm your irresponsibility with us, and special guest Alex O'Brien, as we talk about the reason we're doing this whole podcast!
May 26, 201748:34