The Salty Truth

Thank you to everyone who has listened to this podcast. In this episode, Jason talks about why "The Salty Truth" will be limited to these 14 episodes.

Seven Things Great Parents Do

1. Great Parents Model What They Teach

2. Great Parents Follow Through With What They Say

3. Great Parents Take a United Front.

4. Great Parents Discipline Their Children

5. Great Parents Take Time To Be Fully Present

6. Great Parents Choose Their Words Wisely

7. Great Parents Give Grace and Unconditional Love

About Jon Hester

• Married with 2 teenage daughters. Celebrating 25th wedding anniversary in May
• 15 years in church ministry; 7 or 8 years now in professional counseling. 

What are some of the benefits to going to counseling to improve your relationship?

• Many couples wait too late to get the help they need, all couples can improve their relationship.

What do you think it takes to help a marriage that’s in trouble make a turn around?

• Honesty – with themselves, about themselves, and about where their marriage really is
• Humility – taking the steps to get the help the need, actually put in the work to become the healthiest version of themselves
• Forgiveness – regrets of the past will continue to haunt and linger until true forgiveness takes place. Forgiveness of spouse and of self. 

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about marriage?

• That intimacy naturally fades over time. Intimacy only fades when we stop pursuing the other person. 
• That they are, by default, meeting the needs of their spouse. People change over time.

What are some of the things that can sabotage a good marriage?

• Lack of boundaries – taking on too much and having nothing left to give your spouse. Or perhaps a lack of boundaries when it comes to children, extended family members. Couples should fearlessly protect time for the two of you to be alone.
• Boredom –  Couples should chase new & next together.
• Comparing their marriage to someone else’s – Social media has not helped here.

Do all couples fight?

• People handle conflict in different ways.
• No one wants have to walk on egg shells around their partner
• If things begin to escalate, take a time out.

How can we intentionally make marriage fun so that we have a lot of good times to mix in with the difficult times?

• Always keep something on the calendar to look forward to. The planning part of it alone brings a certain level of excitement.
• Engage in the interests and activities your spouse enjoys – and do so joyfully. 

What advice would you give to couples willing to give it one more try?

• Decide to do something substantially different.
  • Seek professional help. 
• Avoid negative voices – friends, family, internet, social media
• Return to the practices you were doing in the beginning.

How important is it to be a student of our partner?

• Probably one of the most underestimated and often overlooked component of marriages.
• Check out the DISC personality profile and the Love Language assessment.

If people want to learn more about you, or connect with you about counseling, how can they find you?

• www.psychologytoday.com - Search "Jon Hester". Email and phone listed.

This episode is in response to the COVID-19 Pandemic

Top 10 Ways to Make the Most of your Quarantine

10. Invest in Your Family 

9. Eat Smart 

8. Practice a Skill 

7. Read 

6. Workout 

5. Organize Your Life 

4. Get Spiritually Healthy 

3. Check on someone else 

2. Get outdoors 

1. Rest

If you are a team leader of any kind and want to build a great team there are 4 things to do (INVITE, INSPIRE, INSTILL, & INVEST). In the last episode, we covered INVITE and INSPIRE. In this episode, we talk about the last two - INSTILL and INVEST.

3. INSTILL

Instill culture. The team leader gets to set the atmosphere of the team.

4 ways to instill culture in your team

Be the Example – Culture is caught more than taught. You create culture by BEING culture. Don’t point the way; lead the way. We are thermostats, not thermometers.

Explain their Role - A leader's #1 job is to equip people. People need to know what u are asking them to do. What’s the win? They can’t hit a target that’s not there.

Communicate often – Communicate more often than u think you should.The more you communicate, the more your team will know what to do w/o asking you.

Entrust & Empower - If u want a great team, don’t try to do it all yourself. Give others a chance to shine. It’s ok if they make mistakes; that’s how we learn.

4. INVEST

4 ways to invest in our teams:

- Encourage - Catch them doing something right. EVERYONE works better in an atmosphere of encouragement.

- Listen - Team members need to give their opinion & know it’s been heard. If we don’t listen to what our team members are saying, eventually they’ll stop talking. Let everyone talk, make a decision, then once a decision is made, everyone should get behind it.

- Challenge - Care enough to have difficult conversations. We can’t help people improve by ignoring habitual issues. Don’t complain about things ur not addressing. Having high standards means having to address things when they aren’t met. Giving & receiving feedback is essential on any successful team.

- Care - Let them know u care more about them than what they can do for u.

If you want to build a strong team, there are 4 things to do (INVITE, INSPIRE, INSTILL, & INVEST).1. Invite - Recruit doers, one at a time, share vision not need. 2. Inspire - Communicate the why, Tell Success Stories, be enthusiastic, Believe the Best. 3. INSTILL - Be culture, communicate culture. 4. INVEST - Encourage, Listen, Challenge, Care.

Bottom line: You’re only as good as your team, so build a great one. 

4 Blocks of Team Building (Invite, Inspire, Instill, & Invest)

1. INVITE

Recruit. They are not going to magically come to us; we have to seek them out.

4 ways to find new team members

• Recruit one at a time, face to face. Don’t send a mass message; Look for people who would be great on your team > Listen to their story > Invite.
• Recruit with vision, not need. People don’t respond to need; they respond to vision
• Look for doers, not thinkers. It’s much easier to educate a doer than to activate a thinker. Constantly trying to motivate is exhausting. If you have the right people, they’ll be self-motivated.
• Look for people who are already doing what you are looking for. Tell them that you would like for them to join the team. People want to feel wanted.

2. INSPIRE

4 ways to inspire your team

Communicate the Why - Talk about what you are trying to accomplish but also talk about why. Don’t just hand out assignments; people commit to a cause, not to a task. An easy way to do that is to follow your statements with “so that”.

Tell Success Stories - Stories inspire way more than principles. Talk about people's lives that are better off because of what your team is doing.

Lead with Enthusiasm - Information doesn’t inspire people; passion does. Enthusiasm is contagious! Don’t expect to have a fired-up team if you’re not. Bonus tip: If you’ve got passionate people on your team put them together; don’t spread them out. Like burning charcoal, fire spreads. Left alone, the flame goes out.

Believe the Best - Walk the halls looking for things people on your team are doing right. When we have a positive view of people, lots of buried talent begins to surface. Average people have a way of accomplishing extraordinary things when someone believes in them. If someone drops the ball, don’t jump to conclusions; try to understand the situation better. Believe the best.

On this episode, we interview Bryan Nichols. He is a successful entrepreneur and is especially involved in downtown revitalization projects. As we enter the holiday season, Bryan takes part of the episode to talk about his Mainstreet Christmas Lights project that has been popular with people in middle Georgia and beyond.

If we are great at everything but bad with people, we are still bound for failure. This episode talks about people skills that we should all remember but often forget. For some, connecting with people comes naturally; for others, it takes practice. If you would like to get better at relating to the people around you, this one is for you!

The whole world with one minor exception is composed of others. You can choose to ignore them & focus on yourself, or you can get over yourself and learn to put other people first.”- John Maxwell

4 Ways to Win w/ People

1. Talk about the other person’s interests

People are interested in people who are interested in them. You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming genuinely interested in them than you can in 2 yrs by trying to get other people interested in you.  In order to talk in terms of other person’s interests, we have to become good listeners. Listening benefits u as well. You’re going to learn some things that are going to help you immensely.

2. Have an upbeat, positive attitude

Our attitude will make us or break us. Having the right attitude is more important than having the right answers. Be the kind of person that people like to be around. A positive attitude is contagious. Choosing an upbeat, positive attitude is one of the most important decisions we will ever make.

3. Smile when speaking with others

Simple but effective. It shows that you’re approachable. It shows people that you like them and accept them. If you want to draw others to you, light up your face with a smile. This benefits us as well. Studies show that if we smile more, even if it’s forced, it actually makes us happier. 

4. Be an Encourager

Everyone wants to be appreciated. Encouragement needs to be sincere. It also needs to be specific. There’s something we can appreciate about everybody. 

Why don’t you pick one of these points to focus on this week? Let me know how your doing by messaging me on Instagram @jasoncomer

Bottom line: If we focus on what we can give in relationships more than what we can get, our relationships w/ ppl get better.

People who reach their goals in life are in the habit of doing things daily that others may only do occasionally. Having the discipline to do the important things each day will impacts the rest of your life. We are creating our future with the choices we make each day.

John Maxwell - “You will never change your life until u change something u do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”

Your routine determines your results.

Discipline is choosing what u want most over what u want now.

Discipline is also choosing what is important over what is urgent.

4 Things that should be in our daily routine

1. Quiet Time — Take time to think, pray, focus.

2. Time with family - Take time to invest in the people you love. 

3. Exercise - People who exercise are healthier, have more energy, think more clearly, & sleep better. 

4. Growth - read books, listen to podcasts, learn from mentors.

I use the app "Habit Share" to help me maintain daily routines.