The Stupid Scammer Calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  

This one is called "The walrus chronicles part 2 - we're watching animal porn".  In the earlier call, we claimed the scammer was sending us a walrus and decided we had to bring a walrus into this call too.  It's only the 2nd time I've ever lost it and laughed during a call, but I'm sure you'll understand why. Again thanks to TLJ for being my right hand man in these calls.  It's always more fun when you have someone to bounce ideas off.  

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

As an aside note, the title of this episode came from a moment in the show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" that always makes me laugh.  If you've never seen it, check it out.  Wait til you've heard this episode first though.  

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  

This one is called "The walrus chronicles part 1 - we're getting a walrus".  In this one, TLJ misunderstands the scammer and thinks we're getting a walrus.  I'm including this as it sets up the second call.  It shows how a simple thing in one call can snowball into something completely ridiculous in the next. 

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  

This one is called "Send me an email".  Sometimes all you want to do is waste a scammer's time.  

The plan was to keep him on the phone as long as I could when he obviously wanted me to hang up and send an email instead.

I threw in a few funny comments, but this one is mostly a battle of wills between a scammer and myself.

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at 

stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is called "Pizza and ice cream".  If you don't know what a pizza call is, we basically call up a scammer and try to order a pizza, refusing to accept them telling us we've called a wrong number.  Thanks to The Lovely Jill for being my partner in crime on this one.  Unfortunately our recording software decided to play up, meaning we lost a segment in the middle.  Hopefully it doesn't spoil your enjoyment of the call too much.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This classic call is titled "I paid him to kill her, but I'm not sure now" and actually features something resembling acting.  One minute I'm looking for money to pay a hitman to kill my wife, the next I'm looking for money for him not to kill her.  Why?  I forgot my own story is the simple answer.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is the second part of "Killing Firefly, the prequel" and shows the first time we decided to call up a "dead or alive" scammer and pretend his email was the cause of my shooting my wife.  Thanks to Big Al for playing a policeman in this part.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is the first part of "Killing Firefly, the prequel" and shows the first time we decided to call up a "dead or alive" scammer and pretend his email was the cause of my shooting my wife.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is part 2 of "Song titles and lyrics", where The Lovely Jill is being given song titles and lyrics by everyone listening into the call.  She then has to include them in some way into the conversation.  Surely the scammer's noticed by now?  Even if he has, can she still keep it going?  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is part 1 of "Song titles and lyrics", where The Lovely Jill is being given song titles and lyrics by everyone listening into the call.  She then has to include them in some way into the conversation.  How long can she keep this up before the scammer notices?  Well, this is part 1, so it obviously goes on way longer than this.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  We call this one "Mr. Adu cleans toilets".  For some reason, the scammer gets pretty angry when he realises his dollar has been chopped, and I tell him that I've been told his boss has been demoted and likely cleans toilets now.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to Big Al for the call, we're naming "George Washington wants him dead".  George Washington has received an email that says he's dead, and he wants revenge.  Before that though, we have a song by Dean Friedman called "Gone Phishing" that's all about scam emails, and used to start off all our podcasts.  I even got to interview him, and it's fair to say he's a laid back fellow.  If you like the tune, check out more of his songs at deanfriedman.com.  If you enjoyed the call, feel free to check out more of them, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the song and the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This one is called "Does it have fin rot?".  Be aware that it has some sections that are NSFW.  This starts off as a call to a puppy scammer where we throw up more and more ridiculous questions about a cat, but takes an odd swerve when the scammer claims to be selling the cats to pay toward his daughter's wedding.  I of course invite myself along and offer to buy some - unique wedding gifts.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is part 3 of a series of calls done to a scammer over the course of one night that we call the "Brain brain brain sessions", and features both SlapHappy and I talking to a scammer calling himself Pastor James Otumba.  We finally get to the reason why it's called the "brain brain sessions".  Prepare for weirdness, as Slappy tries to buy the scammer's client's brain, then the scammer is still confused as I attempt to straight bait him.  How do we know he's confused?  At one point he literally says "I'm confused".  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is part 2 of a series of calls done to a scammer over the course of one night that we call the "Brain brain brain sessions", and is the second half of Big Al talking to a scammer calling himself Pastor James Otumba.  Listen in as the scammer tries to curse Big Al for calling him out on his scamming ways and tries to justify stealing money from innocent people.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This is part 1 of a series of calls done to a scammer over the course of one night that we call the "Brain brain brain sessions", and is the first half of Big Al talking to a scammer calling himself Pastor James Otumba.  It perfectly shows the paradox of how a scammer can be one of the most religious people you'll ever speak to, but have no qualms at all in stealing money from innocent people.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  

This series of calls is titled "Bright Salami's Brimstone Pasties".

I've always said that you should never go into a lad call with a concrete plan.  Sometimes a lad can say something that will take you

on a completely different journey that ends up being way funnier than anything you had in mind.  

Sometimes an idea can come to you during the call.  Being flexible can give you some superbly surreal results.  

Often I won't even read an email beyond the lad's character's name, and simply ask him to explain his email to me in more detail to start the call,

looking for something to jump on as he's talking.

Our original plan with Bright Salami was simply to make some bad puns on his name, but for 

some odd reason, when he mentioned a loan, something clicked in my brain and the puns were forgotten.  

As always, huge thanks to The Lovely Jill for being my partner in crime on this one.  

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at 

stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  We call this one, "Tell us a joke", and the premise is very simple.  The Lovely Jill and I call up a scammer who refers to himself as the "Chief Justice" and jump to the assumption that he's the "Chief Jester" - a simple enough mistake to make I'm sure you'll agree.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  

We have 2 short calls this time, the first is called "Domo arigato Mr. Robertto" and the second "He wants to wear my knickers".

Having been a fan of 70s and 80s American rock since my teens, the moment a lad sent me an email calling himself "Mr. Robertto", I absolutely

had to call him up just to say "Domo arigato Mr. Robertto" and see how many lines from the song I could sneak into the conversation.  

If you don't know the song I'm talking about, look for Mr. Roboto by Styx.

Yes, I get that it's a "guilty pleasure" song, but I happen to love it.  

The second call involves TLJ, and an apparent misunderstanding leads us to believe the scammer wants to look at me naked 

while wearing her underwear.  Whatever floats your boat I guess!

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at 

stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to The Lovely Jill, who joins me for this one made during a night of lad calls on our 9th anniversary, which we've titled "Tell Me Your Name!".

During a lad calling session, one that hadn't answered when we first called him decided to call back.  The problems were that a. we didn't know his name, and b. our recording software wasn't running at the time.  To fix this I had to hang up, then call him back a few minutes later so we could record the call.  TLJ pretended to be my wife and claimed I'd asked her to call him back while I'd had to nip out but only given her the number.  That way she could get his name and we'd know what his format was.

I'd like to point out right at the start that we have no issues with a person's sexuality, but will use the fact that it's a huge issue where the scammer lives and is a trigger to get him out of his comfort zone to our advantage as you'll hear in this call.

In the second part, we also get to speak to his wife and persuade her to sing for us.

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to The Lovely Jill, who joins me for this one made during a night of lad calls on our 9th anniversary, which we've titled "Tell Me Your Name!".

During a lad calling session, one that hadn't answered when we first called him decided to call back.  The problems were that a. we didn't know his name, and b. our recording software wasn't running at the time.  To fix this I had to hang up, then call him back a few minutes later so we could record the call.  TLJ pretended to be my wife and claimed I'd asked her to call him back while I'd had to nip out but only given her the number.  That way she could get his name and we'd know what his format was.

I'd like to point out right at the start that we have no issues with a person's sexuality, but will use the fact that it's a huge issue where the scammer lives and is a trigger to get him out of his comfort zone to our advantage as you'll hear in this call.

In the second part, we also get to speak to his wife and persuade her to sing for us.  

If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  We call these ones "Dr. Ducky smokesa da ganga" and "Ibrahim's daughter".  The first scammer was called "Dr. Doodooganga", so Slaphappy and I of course had to focus on his name!  Ibrahim was a particularly stupid scammer who had spoken to who he thought was my daughter earlier on, but was in fact another baiter using a voice morpher.  Not wanting to feel left out, he asked if I wanted to speak to his daughter this time.  This is the only time in my 15 years that I have ever completely lost it laughing at a scammer, and you'll see why instantly.  If you enjoy these, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This one is called, with the utmost respect, "Angelina Jolie's tits", and has me offering myself to a scammer for a threesome with his wife once I've had a sex change to become a woman. The original purpose of the call was to get the scammer to say he was "A bit twp", which is Welsh for "A bit stupid".  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This one is called "Your pizza will soon be here for you".  A huge shoutout goes not only to TLJ, but her daughter, who was only 12 at the time.  We'd had TV crews around the night before, filming us calling lads, and had no luck whatsoever.  The next night however we had this from a scammer we'd called during the filming trying to order a pizza from.  You'll also find a scammer singing one of the stupidest songs ever, called "The Gamma Goochee".  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  This time it's two shorter calls, "Father in the box", in which I accuse a scammer of having his father locked in a trunkbox and "I am Spartacus", where Slaphappy just wants the scammer to say "I am Spartacus".  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

One of the voices you'll hear in the calls belongs to Jeff Davies AKA "Big Al".  Find out more about the man behind the voice in this interview.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Let me tell you a story.  There was once a scammer who called himself Robert Carbuccia, David Renholtz and even Harley Davidson at one point.  He was the stupidest scammer on the planet, whose stupidity was only matched by his stubborness.  He would send out his script almost every day for years, often several times a day.  No matter what you did to him, no matter what you said to him, he kept on sending out those emails.  This scammer was my nemesis, my archenemy, the only scammer who ever drove me to distraction.  He was also the scammer whose details we gave to anyone who wanted to learn how to call up a scammer, precisely because of all this.  What follows are 20 odd minutes from what were years and years of calls that should show you exactly why he was called the stupidest scammer on the planet.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the calls.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to SlapHappy and Firefly, who join me for this particular one, which we've titled "Holy Ghost FIYAH".  A "dying widow" bait went askew when my "faith healer" seemed to upset the scammer for some reason.  This is just a part of a series of calls that lasted almost 2 hours.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to The Lovely Jill, who joins me for this particular one, which we've titled "Bright by name, Dim by nature".  He called himself Bright, so we decided to quiz him.  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to Firefly, who joins me for this particular one, which we've titled "Killing Firefly".  As an extra treat, we've included the worst singing scammer ever!  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.

Hello, and welcome to "The Stupid Scammer Calls".  My name is Wayne May, and I'll be introducing each call.  Thanks go to fellow baiters Slaphappy and The Lovely Jill, who join me for this particular one, which we've titled "God bless Houdini the hamster".  It features a scammer pretending to be the Pope, a dog who starts barking at the perfect moment, and a talking hamster called "Houdini".  If you enjoy this, feel free to check out more calls, read some of the stupid things scammers have said in their emails at stupidscammers.com or help fight the scammers by getting the word out at scamsurvivors.com.  In the meantime, enjoy the call.