Tony Ferrar

Do you ever find yourself playing comparison games?

I had an experience a few weeks ago while rock climbing. I’d just succeeded in climbing the most technically difficult climb of my life after spending over a month working on it. I’d go practice the climb, the head to the gym to train the specific fitness I’d need. After working and working, I finally got it! Just then, a group of climbers showed up and used that route as an “easy warmup” before heading to harder climbs.

My bruised ego started playing games immediately: “If I had as much time as these folks to climb, this would be easy for me too.” To be clear, I have no idea how much time they spend climbing. “Wow, they’re so much better than I am, I’ll never be impressive.”

Not too long ago, I’d have spent days agonizing over this experience, playing comparison games and, ultimately, wishing I was someone else.

In this week’s post, I unpack this experience and share three key mindset shifts that helped me free myself from ego-driven comparison games. These thoughts will help you

1. Catch your ego early so you don’t go down a spiral of negative thinking
2. Embrace your own circumstance as a key part of your identity
3. Grow towards your ideals without self-criticism

If you are your biggest critic, then I wrote this post for you! The attitude adjustments I share helped me develop a personal mantra that has caused my personal and professional growth to skyrocket:

“If you’re the best in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

If your ego is holding you back from being your best self, listen to this  podcast episode and give yourself a chance to eliminate that energy drain from your life!

Today I’d like to share an insecurity I’ve had that came to a tipping point yesterday - and how I discovered that I was worrying unnecessarily. I’m busy balancing huge commitments and I am sure you are too. What do you do when you get behind, or miss a deadline? When balancing commitments looks like working a flexible schedule, it can appear as though you’re just not working. I worry about that false perception whenever someone wishes I got something done for them sooner.

This episode delves into a recent experience I had with falling behind, and how I caught back up without ruining everyone's perception of my balanced lifestyle.

“I want to be a millionaire.” “I want to get all A’s this semester,” “I want to lose ten pounds.” We love to set goals for ourselves, dreaming of what life would be like if we just accomplished that next thing. I’m a “big goal” kind of person – things that seem out of reach motivate me to push forward and achieve, and I don’t mind working towards something for a long time.

The problem is that most of our goals aren’t any good. In fact they may even be sabotaging our lives...

“What do you want to do with your life?” I think this (or some version of it) might be the most often-asked question that college students get. Whether you’re meeting a new peer, sitting around the table at a family event, or in a job interview, the world seems to be very interested in what you plan to do with yourself. If you've ever struggled to answer this question, then we made this episode just for you!