Skip to main content
this is it actually.

this is it actually.

By jeni b.

the world needs human connection now more than ever. through me (host jeni b!) & my guests, tiia tells vast, relatable, heartbreaking, heartwarming, funny, sad & sometimes uncomfortable stories. stories bring people together through shared experience & this is exactly that, actually. they're yours, they're mine... everybody has a story.
Available on
Apple Podcasts Logo
Google Podcasts Logo
Overcast Logo
Pocket Casts Logo
RadioPublic Logo
Spotify Logo
Currently playing episode

this is MICHELLE WOLFE actually.

this is it actually.Nov 03, 2022

00:00
36:36
this is THE PASSING OF TIME actually.

this is THE PASSING OF TIME actually.

our wee family of 3 is hitting some serious milestones this week and of course, as it goes, that led me to thinking about the bigger things attached to 'endings'.

and listen, i'm well aware that endings bring on new beginnings and even though it's sometimes sad to move on, it's usually where the good stuff lives.

but that doesn't make it any less emotional or challenging.

there are so many 'endings' that i actually don't remember. i was in survival mode for so long, it was hard to take notice.

my wish for my kids (and for you & me & everyone!) is to switch out of survival mode every now and then.

time's gonna do what time does.

there will be happiness and grief and everything in between.

try and see it. sometimes. whatever it is.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jun 15, 202311:29
this is THE LEAST INTERESTING THING ABOUT ME actually. feat MADISON TEVLIN.

this is THE LEAST INTERESTING THING ABOUT ME actually. feat MADISON TEVLIN.

you're going to love today's episode!

i want you to meet my friend madison tevlin. i mean, you probably already know who she is. she stars in the movie CHAMPIONS and she's blowing up on social media. (a recent tiktok about potatoes has over 6 million views!)

she always says that down syndrome is the 'least interesting thing about her', and trust me when i tell you, it's true... as you will soon find out.

madison hosts the show WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? - co-produced by yours truly - where she chats with 10 incredible people about who they are and how people see them.

we dig into all the heart stuff and a lot of fun stuff - stick around to hear me quiz maddie with a round of excruciatingly-difficult-to-choose rapid fire - and i hope you enjoy this episode!

with special guest: @madisontevlin.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

Jun 08, 202324:41
this is SNIPPETS OF TIME actually.

this is SNIPPETS OF TIME actually.

my sister and brother in law gave a camcorder to my husband and i when my oldest daughter was born.

17 years ago, this was a giant GIFT.

two babies born and 1 divorce later, the girls and I stopped using it in 2017, when the tapes ran out.

for years i have been meaning to get the tapes digitized. a million excuses later, i finally found a young woman through facebook who does it as a side project and within a few days of chatting, i was driving 15 mini-dv tapes over to her house.

i was handing over our snippets of time.

it was emotional and so very wild to watch them back.

time is weird & wonderful.

today's episode is just me, moving through a day, creating more snippets.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth


Jun 01, 202322:48
this is LONG DISTANCE VOICENOTES, DOING THE WORK & GRATITUDE actually. feat JESSICA WRIGHT.

this is LONG DISTANCE VOICENOTES, DOING THE WORK & GRATITUDE actually. feat JESSICA WRIGHT.

i'm a big fan of voicenoting... i mean, have you met this podcast? sending a voicenote is like the updated version of leaving a voicemail with zero time restriction! (which, let's be honest, can be quite problematic when you fancy yourself a storyteller)

i met my friend jess many years ago working on canadian idol. we rekindled our friendship in the pandemic and basically picked up where we left off. don't you love when that happens?

but right as we started to get close again, she up and moved across the country! being on the phone for long periods of time with a 3 hour time difference and actual lives to live, wasn't super realistic, so we started voicenoting just before she left.

it became this ritual between us. to share in each other's journeys and minutia of the days. 2022 was a complete shit show for both of us, but the one thing we knew we could rely on was our voicenotes.

it was like a shared journal. for the ups and downs, but also for gratitude. we wanted to be accountable.

we had no idea what it would end up being, but i can honestly say it became a bit of a lifeline. i mean, we said it all. we lost a lot. we were lonely, separately together. we bore witness to each other’s struggles. we laughed, we cried, we kept going and being thankful.

gratitude was always the connector, but life seeped in.

with special guest, my friend: @jessica.m.wright.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

May 18, 202330:56
this is DEATH TO DIET CULTURE actually. feat JOSEE CORMIER & ALICIA STAFFORD.

this is DEATH TO DIET CULTURE actually. feat JOSEE CORMIER & ALICIA STAFFORD.

josee cormier and alicia stafford are doing things their way. and well, your way too actually.

hear me out.

they are two women who needed to heal their relationship with food. it’s a thing, right?

i don’t think i knew until much later in life that all relationships require attention and ya, work. not just love relationships, not just family, but money and health and food and work and clothing and body and and and…

so they decided no meal plans, no cheat meals (they let us know that no one is married to broccoli!) and no calorie counting.

we don’t have a scale in our house, we never talk numbers, even though that’s kind of the way i grew up – i bring this up in my convo with them – and it was so refreshing to talk about health and our bodies from a bright and light perspective.

josee and alicia have helped thousands of women, and they also host the podcast LET'S GET LOUD - which has over 850k downloads – so it's safe to say, they’re on to something.

with special guests: @josee_ywwl & alicia_ywwl

x.

find them on instagram: @yourwayweightloss

follow my podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

May 11, 202335:35
this is UNMENTIONABLES actually. feat CYNTHIA LOYST & JOSIE DYE.

this is UNMENTIONABLES actually. feat CYNTHIA LOYST & JOSIE DYE.

embarrassing & unfortunate things happen in life. we try things and they don’t always pan out. sometimes life happens TO us. i mean, unmentionables are all around. in relationships, at work, parenting, family stuff, just being out in the world.

i loved this conversation because we cover a lot!

from hemorrhoids to broken penises to parenting pitfalls to companies profiting off of women's insecurities to a drunken night out in nyc. like, seriously. we get to it.

josie dye hosts the crap out of radio – in my humble opinion anyway – and cynthia loyst is one of my fave TV hosts - on THE SOCIAL.

she is also a sex expert and has a book and a blog called Find Your Pleasure – which i happen to write for – and i’ve known both of these wonderful women for a long time actually - so i think you're in for a treat.

they have a podcast called CYNTHIA & JOSIE'S UNMENTIONABLES and it's fun and funny and also thoughtful and authentic and full of heart, actually.

i hope you love our conversation.

with special guests: @cynthialoyst & @josiedye.

x.

check out their podcast @cynthiaandjosie

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

May 04, 202336:25
this is DATING AFTER 50 actually. feat SHARRON MATTHEWS.

this is DATING AFTER 50 actually. feat SHARRON MATTHEWS.

sharron & i met a million years ago through mutuals. but our relationship really turn a left turn when she saw me on a dating app.

that’s right.

and she swiped right.

ok ok, not in THAT way – but more in the ‘i’ve seen you and now i need to acknowledge that i’ve seen you cuz you’re probably gonna’ see me too’ and then she texted me immediately after to say she wasn’t hitting on me.

from that hilarious interaction, we realized we’re in very similar dating boats. we are politically aligned - trust me, it's a THING these days - we're of a certain age, both divorced and living in the big city. although our lives are very different, we were connecting on so many similarities.

so, we decided to do it together. a dating partner in crime, so to speak. 

we decided to see what would happen for 3 months and actually go out and do things – like, out in the world – with the hope that we would each go on one date. just one. mostly to get ourselves back out there.

tune in to hear who’s the winner and who’s the loser!

my friend sharron is a force.

she’s an artist, actor, singer, producer, writer and comedienne.

she has a fiercely personal and shamelessly irreverent blog – HOW VERY DARE SHE – where she talks perimenopause, aging, sexism, self-love, dating, and f-bombs. no one drops an f-bomb like my friend sharron.

she is PURE JOY and seriously good vibes and easily one of my favourite people. i think you’re going to LOVE this conversation.

with special guest: @sharronmatthews.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

Apr 27, 202334:56
this is CLEANING UP, CLEARING OUT & GIVING BACK actually. feat IVANKA SIOLKOWSKY.

this is CLEANING UP, CLEARING OUT & GIVING BACK actually. feat IVANKA SIOLKOWSKY.

ivanka siolkowsky is a former teacher who is actually certified in the KonMari way of life. that’s right, she’s marie kondo certified.

she’s a professional organizer and de-clutterer, so she totally understands my life with 2 teens.

she’s an author & TV personality. she created and runs a children’s organization program – an online life skills camp for kids. when i told a girlfriend about this, she said “um, where do i sign up?”

oh and also? she walked directly INTO the war in Ukraine, more than once, as a humanitarian aid volunteer and a strong mental health advocate, despite - or maybe because of - her own struggle with mental health.

she’s a helper and a kind human and just really cool and i think you’re going to like her.

cleaning up, clearing out & giving back.

with special guest: ivanka siolkowsky.

x.

you can find ivanka on instagram: @tidymoose

ivanka's website is: tidymoose.com

follow me & the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

Apr 20, 202334:12
this is GRIEVING WITH A STRANGER actually.
Apr 13, 202349:13
this is A CHAT WITH MY TEENAGE DAUGHTERS actually.

this is A CHAT WITH MY TEENAGE DAUGHTERS actually.

hey hey! it's season 4!

tiia is back and i'm so excited about the episodes i've got on the docket.

i'm going to be talking to some amazing people – covering GRIEF, CONNECTING WITH STRANGERS, GIVING BACK, CLEANING UP, DIET CULTURE, DATING AFTER 50 and i'm also going to be chatting with my ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife – we met over grief and his suicide - and my hope this season is just that all of these conversations find their way to the listeners who need them.

today i’m starting right in my very own house. with my teenage daughters.

a little backstory… it’s just the three of us. it’s been that way since they were 11 months and just over 4 years old. they are now 13 1/2 and 16 1/2.

they’ve both navigated bullies, and peer pressure and working through the pain of an absent father.

we’ve had our moments. there was the “incident” that still gets talked about to this day.

i’ve done some questionable parenting, and they’ve each been in some sort of 'big' trouble a handful of times. so that’s not so bad.  

they have great friends, and teachers like them and i think they’re smart and funny and kind.

we talk and we listen and sometimes we ask for space and their rooms drive me crazy and they spend too much time looking at their phones and i spend most days praying that we’re doing just a little better than OK.

with special guests: lola & izzie.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Apr 06, 202329:25
this is A NEW YEAR actually.

this is A NEW YEAR actually.

what can be said in new year rhymes • that’s not been said a thousand times?

the new years come, the old years go • we know we dream, we dream we know.

we rise up laughing with the light • we lie down weeping with the night.

we hug the world until it stings • we curse it then and sigh for wings.

we live, we love, we woo, we wed • we wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead.

we laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear • and that’s the burden of a year.

~ ella wheeler wilcox.

happy new year! today's episode looks a little bit back but mostly ahead. stories of growth, change, vulnerability, loss & loving ourselves.

with special guests: @shitspennysees, @karendeanspeaks @babyreadylgbtq & @katieprentiss.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jan 05, 202321:36
this is WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU actually.

this is WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU actually.

i like good laughs. people with kind faces. when i see someone talking to a stranger. a wave from the car if i’ve let you in. goodness. (and that can mean so many things).

humility. grit. compassion. the helpers. big or small, it doesn’t matter.

funny people. i’m not an easy laugh but when you get me – when you find my funny bone – it’s actually the best.

ooh, good manners. so sexy.

good listeners. but also, good storytellers. obviously.

i like people with an edge. i also like being able to sit in silence with someone. comfortable people. in their own skin & who make me feel comfortable.

good swearers. you know what I mean? not swearing for the sake of it, but being able to really hit the right spots with a good swear.

kindness. that goes without saying.

authentic. trusting. giving. brave.

excellent secret keepers.

this episode is a GIANT love letter to the people we LOVE. 

get cozy and all up in your feels. 

with special guests: @coach_muffin, @fromcitytosimcoe, @bencupello, @themichellewolfe & @aliiza.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 29, 202215:24
this is TRADITIONS actually.

this is TRADITIONS actually.

a tradition is described as an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behaviour. this can come from religious or cultural practice, social customs or even from family and friends.

i've thought - on more than one occasion - that i've done a pretty crap job of establishing traditions in my wee household. i don't cook big holiday dinners. we're not 'regulars' in any restaurant. we've never been camping.

i know, i know, these are not the things that make a solid family life, but with social media being a consistent unattainable goal, it's hard not to feel bad about ourselves from time to time. 

but once i started thinking about the little things we DO do - ice cream on the last day of school, 'rose, bud & thorn' at dinner, my special 'goodnight' mantra - i realized they more than count.

with special guests: @iamsamyeo, @thealtonator & @sarinarene.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 22, 202215:55
this is THE AFTERLIFE actually.

this is THE AFTERLIFE actually.

we grew up with a christian mom and an atheist dad. we said grace before dinner and i prayed before bed. i mostly just asked for stuff, cuz, you know, kids.

it was made very clear that there was a heaven and a hell – they were sold as places that you go – one up, and one down, like we would literally look in those directions when we thought of them – but we never really talked about spirituality or life after death or even death at all actually.

so i’m not sure that i even had my own beliefs until much later in life. i probably started to figure it out for myself after my mom came to say goodbye to me... a  couple days after she’d died.

today's stories are full of love & hope & belief. finding dimes, visitation dreams, spirit guides, near-death experiences, unfinished tasks, mediumship & messages from beyond.

with special guests: @i_spark_change, @rickornelas, @blakepaynethemedium, @kellyfergusonpsychicmedium, @barbbrz & @bigalrobz.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 15, 202227:21
this is SEX TOO actually.

this is SEX TOO actually.

happy holidays! let’s talk about sex! 

this is my second episode on the subject and there’s obviously more to say, cuz hello, it’s sex.

first times, good times, memorable bad times. friends with benefits, one night stands, long term love affairs. sexologists, sex educators, films about sex.

finding bliss & more than ever imagined on OnlyFans.

talking it out, figuring it out & a call from mom that changed the trajectory of our relationship.

we cover a lot!

let's talk about sex baby... again. (& again)

with very special guests: @homance_chronicles, @rideoutl, @sexwithsuefilm, @sarahjuree & @sexwithdrjess.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 08, 202228:32
this is WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ME actually.

this is WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ME actually.

i met a new friend on instagram back in september – we did a deep dive on each other's pages and we were loving what we were seeing so we started complimenting the crap out of one another and then one of us said “it would be great if we could talk to ourselves like this too”.

go figure.

so i suggested we come up with 3 things we love about ourselves before the end of the day and she was like ‘way ahead of you lady’ and she shared with me an ongoing note she keeps in her phone of the things that she thinks make her cool and awesome and loveable. things like being forgiving and resourceful but also that she likes her cute butt.

i was like ME TOO! i love my butt!

so this episode was born from that. i just wanna get everybody in a self-loving, self-appreciating, i’m-the-dreamiest-and-here’s-why state of mind.

shouldn’t be hard right?

we're gettin' all loved up on ourselves for episode 111 baby!

and in the spirit of LOVE and superstar angel numbers - my guest lineup today is nothing short of SPECTACULAR.

with special guests: @spencer.barbosa, @pumpfitnessmtl, @shortpresents & @meredithshaw.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 01, 202221:42
this is DRAG actually.

this is DRAG actually.

drag began back during shakespeare times, around the end of the 16th century. 

at the time, the church was super connected to the stage and would only allow men to perform - like honestly, what IS that… ugh, anyway, that’s how the female roles ended up being played by men dressed as women.

the word ‘drag’ itself is believed to have been born in the theatre too. the dresses that the men wore to play the female characters would drag along the floor. and so it goes.

i've been taking my girls to drag shows since they were wee things & sure, it's always insanely fun, a little raucous & sometimes inappropriate - but the same message emerges almost every time. BE who you are & LOVE all. 

with special guests: @lalaluzious & @jemmdoshay from @hausofdevereaux. 

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Nov 24, 202216:29
this is DYING WITH DIGNITY actually.

this is DYING WITH DIGNITY actually.

ok so this probably doesn’t seem like the most uplifting topic to dig into and maybe some people will completely avoid listening to this episode for fear of grief or sad memories or just a general aversion to death talk.

trust me, i get it. i love avoiding tough topics! 

but death is a THING. i mean, right? it's the one thing we cannot steer clear of - no matter how hard we try.

and don't we all want to go with a little grace? 

today's stories are beautiful and hard and sad and sweet and heartwarming.

with special guests: @tilldeathdoulaparts, @dirtbagdanno/@mysonthehurricane, @permission_to_bloom, @marnieandmichael & @johannabethalmond.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Nov 17, 202225:39
this is QUIRKY FACTS & INTERESTING THINGS actually.

this is QUIRKY FACTS & INTERESTING THINGS actually.

i can’t do impersonations. i’m a terrible actor. i don’t play an instrument and my singing leaves a little bit to be desired. i don’t have 2 different coloured eyes or any cute patterned freckles, and i’ve never had an overly wacky or weird job – though, i was once asked to be a phone sex operator, but i never did it. 

ooh, that would have been good for this episode. 

i thought i'd have to dig deep to find some revealing things for this episode, but it turns out, 'interesting' and 'quirky' come in all shapes, sizes & stories.

with special guests: @sj.snaps, @imorehead, @lolaspeaking, @simplykristyd & @dirtbagdanno.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Nov 10, 202225:38
this is MICHELLE WOLFE actually.

this is MICHELLE WOLFE actually.

meet michelle wolfe! 

she has a podcast - MUVE FORWARD, an activewear line - MUVE LIFE, and a great general philosophy - KEEP MOVING.

we dig into a lot. health and wellness, living without moms, being a responsible but partying teen, how to be a good human and how a simple 'whatchya doin' can change a stranger's day. (& yours too!)

my special guest: @themichellewolfe.

find michelle at www.themichellewolfe.com.

muve life activewear at www.muvelife.com.

*this episode is lovingly brought to you by @1dept - http://www.1department.com. please check them out!

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Nov 03, 202236:36
this is FOLLOWING MY BLISS TOO actually.

this is FOLLOWING MY BLISS TOO actually.

this is my second episode on FOLLOWING BLISS & it's a hot topic whenever i'm searching for guest stories. everyone wants to talk about their bliss and that makes me very happy.

bliss begets bliss & all that jazz.

following your bliss means trusting that everything is going to work out, even if it’s not in the ‘perfect’ way you imagined. it's all about believing in your happy thoughts & life & dreams, and then following through, sometimes, against all odds - and if you're living it, then bliss is happening anyway. 

which is really how life should be.

with special guests: @81 petals, @jasongeorgephotography, @wildsoulbloom, @margotdaleyphotography & @andytherd.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Oct 27, 202219:12
this is MARRIAGE actually.

this is MARRIAGE actually.

ah marriage. it's a funny one. some people are ALL IN, and some won't touch it with a 10 foot pole. some people are one & done, and some people go back again & again. there's the religious and traditional and cultural side of it. there's family pressure. there's second go 'rounds. there's sticking in it far past the point of expiration. oh, and there's love. remember love?! it's a hot topic & i think we cover some good ground.  with special guests: @michellequance, @jennifer_hernandez_coaching, @iamsamyeo & @dr_scottr. book michelle for photos! http://www.michellequance.com/ join jennifer to learn about breathwork! https://www.jenniferhernandez.ca/ x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth
Oct 20, 202223:12
this is GOOD PEOPLE actually.

this is GOOD PEOPLE actually.

i was raised by good people. so, what’s my definition of ‘good’ in this situation? well, it’s kind. generous. hardworking. selfless. humble.

but those seem to be pretty obvious when it comes to what we think of as GOOD & maybe even a little antiquated, 'cuz like everything in life, GOODNESS changes.

as a little girl, i couldn’t possibly have known that later in life, goodness would include just simply being nice to a stranger or looking a person in the eye when you’re speaking to them or saying hello. like, that’s kind of where we’re at, isn’t it?

today's stories will restore your faith in the GOODness of people. 

with special guests: @begoodtopeople, @jasongeorgephotography, & @meet_the_good_ones.

*this episode is lovingly brought to you by @1dept - http://www.1department.com. please check them out!

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Oct 13, 202221:06
this is WHAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT ME actually.

this is WHAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT ME actually.

ok, so if you’ve been listening to this podcast for any amount of time at all, you’ll know that the idea of doing an episode on the things that no one knows about me seems pretty laughable. it’s going to be a very short episode. 

but for real, as much as i talk a blue streak - my stories & my personal stuff - there's also a lot that i keep to myself. 

some things seem silly to share & some are actual secrets & some are just for the people who are close to me. 

i love shocking people when i tell them i’ve never had a coffee. but i also like that there’s stuff i’ll never tell.

whether we're the oversharing type or we simply write it in a journal or we never speak about it again for the rest of our days, when it comes to the things that no one knows about us, it’s really up to us. & today's episode spills the tea... just a little.

with special guests: @jasongeorgephotography, @macrame.by.freddie, @tythepoetess & @rain.city.jeff.

jason's book, THE WORLD WITH JASON GEORGE: CANADA, can be found at www.jasongeorgephotography.com. 

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Oct 06, 202218:10
this is FOUND WORDS, LIBRARY BOOKS & LOVE actually. feat SHARON MCKELLAR.

this is FOUND WORDS, LIBRARY BOOKS & LOVE actually. feat SHARON MCKELLAR.

this is a story about libraries but it’s also about found things and human connection and love, actually.

it all started in oakland, california, about 10 years ago.

sharon mckellar was a librarian then, and one of her favourite parts of the job was finding things inside the books. things like love letters, recipes, kid’s drawings, photos, receipts, to do lists, anonymous poetry. the list appears to be endless.

when sharon started finding them, she put a call out to her colleagues across the 18 library locations in oakland to send her anything they’d found and she couldn’t believe how many pieces were coming in, so she began to catalogue them.

there are currently over 350 notes – a lot of them post-its, which, if you know me at all, you know i relate to in a big way!
it’s called FOUND IN A LIBRARY BOOK – and it’s delightful.

find it at: oaklandlibrary.org 

instagram: @oaklibraryfound

x.

instagram: @thisisitactually

twitter: @jenibesworth

Sep 29, 202228:19
this is BLAKE AUDEN actually.

this is BLAKE AUDEN actually.

hello hello! i hope you had a great summer! my first guest back for the second half of season 3 is lovely. that’s the best way to describe him & i'm thrilled that he agreed to talk to me.

he is a poet & author, he's been writing his whole life & he loves words just as much as i do. 

we talk about our love of words, dealing with anxiety, humans we've met through social, love, heartache & all the things.

blake’s released four books to date and his new book - To Drown As A Cure For Thirst - is out on october 4th.

find him on YT at BlakeAudenPoetry.

instagram: @blakeaudenpoetry.

website: blakeauden.com.

i hope you enjoy our chat!

thanks for being here.

x.

instagram: @thisisitactually

twitter: @jenibesworth

Sep 22, 202224:19
this is 100 actually.

this is 100 actually.

the energy of the number 100 is positive and optimistic. 100 is a perfect square number. there are 100 years in a century & 100 pennies in a dollar.

a person who lives to be 100 is called a centenarian.

there are 100 letter tiles in a scrabble game & 100 sweat glands in one square inch of skin.

'keep it 100' means to be authentic and truthful. keep it real. 

the record number of points scored in one NBA game by a single player was 100 points, set by wilt chamberlain on march 2, 1962.

if you had $100 billion dollars, you could spend $3 million dollars a day, every day, for the next 100 years.

you are currently listening to the 100th episode of this podcast!

with very special guests: mr & mrs greene, corinne & bob, & my childhood neighbour, mrs white.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jul 15, 202212:39
this is MY CELEBRITY CRUSH actually.

this is MY CELEBRITY CRUSH actually.

when i typed “different types of celebrity crushes” into google, i got quite the mix of results. things like: what to do if you have a big celebrity crush, how do i get a celebrity to notice me, do celebrities fall in love with fans, how can you tell if a celebrity likes you, and - how to get over your celebrity crush obsession haha.

celebrity crushes are fun though right? i mean, hopefully. i think that’s what they’re supposed to be.

today's stories run the gamut! they're so fun. we dig into past crushes, who stands the test of time & of course, the 'laminated list'.

with special guests: @katieprentiss, @aishahashraf, @truthandcoffeetime, @lucasstagg & my daughter @lolabesworth.

x.

check out denise & brian on the TRUTH & COFFEE TIME podcast!

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jul 14, 202222:14
this is MY SAFE SPACE actually.

this is MY SAFE SPACE actually.

sometimes things, sometimes people, sometimes places.

it all counts. 

with special guests: @michellequance, @melanieluongo, @alluringartistry_ & errol vas.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jul 07, 202222:24
this is MY SECOND ACT actually.

this is MY SECOND ACT actually.

a second act is defined as something a person devotes their life to later in life, after retiring or quitting an original occupation and usually, after a successful career. ok, i think that definition is so limiting!

when i typed 'second act' into google, i got a lot of stories about people who were embarking on a second profitable or successful career after already having had one. and listen, there were some great stories, but i'm way more interested in the second act that happens because of a move across country or a reconnection with an old friend or a marriage or a divorce or a right or left turn.

cuz every single person has had that kind of second act.

sometimes they’re planned but sometimes they completely catch you off guard & the truth is, i don’t think our second act has to automatically come during our second half of life.

and my guest stories today actually prove that.

with special guests: @mindfulspacebyala, @kasv731, @remmistourac & @janet_mcm @secondactactors.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jun 30, 202223:05
this is REPORT CARD DAY actually.

this is REPORT CARD DAY actually.

let’s face it, june is pretty much a write-off when it comes to school. teachers trying to teach, kids muscling through last assignments & quizzes, parents clamouring to make plans for summer so everyone stays sane.

there's the summer clothing shop, the locker cleanout, the extra groceries bought... the countdown is on.

and all the days lead to the last day when the final bell rings and school’s out for summer and there’s nothing more to do than just be a kid.

but on top of a big hill in a little bay town, there was one more thing that had to happen.

with special guests: deb, kathy, brian & my brothers, michael & gerry.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jun 23, 202216:08
this is THE THING THAT CHANGED MY LIFE actually.

this is THE THING THAT CHANGED MY LIFE actually.

i'd say that some of the things that have changed my life also get a little twisted up with left or right turns, sliding doors, sometimes regret - it’s a whole cornucopia of feelings and woulda coulda shoulda’s, and the paths that we end up on.

if you think about some of the things that have happened to you that you might consider a life-changer, it’s kind of normal to look back on how you got there.

if you hadn’t gone to the party or taken that job or you hadn’t caught the subway, would it have ended up happening? i mean, those are big ones and there’s listen, there’s NO answer, but sometimes it’s more about the really small things - like the way you treat a person or the way you’ve been treated. because one small ripple can multiply and can ultimately become a giant wave.

with special guests: @livhealthybyjenniferlyall, @themichellewolfe @kamaehamae, @gtayachts & @iambeachan/@sistersinpsychedelics.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jun 16, 202226:38
this is YOUR STORIES actually: HOW TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER.

this is YOUR STORIES actually: HOW TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER.

so i came up with this brilliant topic idea and then i was like, uh oh. how DO we make the world better? 

i mean, not that i thought we were going to solve the centuries old mystery in this particular episode but i wasn’t even sure we'd know where to start.

but my guests just went for it & they do not disappoint.

want to live in a better world?

start here. 

with special guests: @jennforgie, @themichellewolfe, @nicole.mccancemethod & @mandeeprai.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jun 09, 202219:32
this is YOUR STORIES actually: REGRET.

this is YOUR STORIES actually: REGRET.

regret can be a joykiller – and a non-mover-forwarder in lots of ways. but we all have it. for one thing or many. is there any good that comes from it? i like to think that it's a lesson-giver. acknowledging it, learning from it, but not living with it, may just be the way to go. 

today's stories are super relatable. 

with special guests: @ospreybeekeeper, @tiffanytrumptherapy, @themichellewolfe & @podcastwithstrangers.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jun 02, 202221:60
this is YOUR STORIES actually: LIFE LESSONS.

this is YOUR STORIES actually: LIFE LESSONS.

i love love love life lessons. 

i mean, it kind of makes sense because my whole THIS IS A TIP thing is pretty much based around life lessons & life tips and i inundate you with life quotes on my instagram feed... so, this topic makes sense for a lot of reasons.

it's chock a' block with good stuff from fabulous guests - things they've learned personally & things they've been told.

i give some tips from a 90 year old, from my dad and i share a recent revelation that kind of blew my own mind.

with special guests: @carmelbreathnach, @smileyvivi05, @laurenwalkerlee, @chronically_unshakable & @snackmantha.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

May 19, 202222:56
this is YOUR STORIES actually: WHAT MADE ME.

this is YOUR STORIES actually: WHAT MADE ME.

when we think about what 'made' us - we tend to think BIG. but that's not always the way. it doesn't have to be some giant, in-your-face momentous occasion - sure, it CAN be - but it can also be small subtle things that impact us in a big way. sometimes we may not even notice it, until it's passed. but it plays a part in the US of who we are. life is wild hey? and, as it goes, every story is different & everybody's got one. with special guests: @kimatdiosa, @confidentresilientfearless, @justawholething, @revivefunctionalmed & @anniempiperlou. x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth
May 12, 202224:53
this is YOUR STORIES actually: CHILDHOOD.

this is YOUR STORIES actually: CHILDHOOD.

get ready for a lil' 5-parter! this is the first episode in my 5 part mini-series within the podcast called YOUR STORIES. it’s less about me & more about YOU. today we begin with CHILDHOOD. 'cuz it's the one thing we all have in common, right? good, bad, memorable or not, there are stories to be told & nostalgia to be had. i've lined up some of my best storytelling friends & they do not disappoint!  this one's for the kid in all of us.  with very special guests: @thegoodthingspod, @cynthialoyst, @taylorln, @thegiselemishmash & @damhnaitdoylesongs.  x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth
May 05, 202223:12
this is THE MEN WE LOVE actually.

this is THE MEN WE LOVE actually.

tiia's podcast statistics: 

70% of listeners are women, 28% are men & 2% are non-binary.

i'd like to think that a lot of the topics we talk about can resonate with everybody & anybody, but i also acknowledge that we talk about a lot of subjects that maybe are a little bit more female-leaning.

i'm a feminist loud and proud & i believe in equal rights for everyone. i think that we live in a patriarchy & i also believe that if women had been in charge from the beginning, it’s very likely there wouldn’t be war aaaand, it's possible, there might be less narcissism roaming around.

but that’s for another day. ;)

i love men, i have a lot in my life, & today we're gonna' talk about them. the good ones. the important ones. the ones that leave an imprint on our hearts.

with special guests: @remmystourac, @natasha.steer, @alexhaids & @rootedandrise.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Apr 28, 202231:41
this is NAMES actually.

this is NAMES actually.

my birth certificate says 'jennifer' but the only person to call me that was my mom when she was mad. (& that stayed true well into my adult life, actually).

i changed the spelling of my name when i was in grade 6, my dad changed his whole last name legally when he was 18 & let's face it, naming our kids can be a stressful & pressure-filled event. today's stories run the gamut! from recycling the family pet's name to facts straight outta' the encyclopedia to embracing the beauty of our uniqueness, it's got it all. the name's the thing on this episode!

with special guests: @hockey_snacks, @mabelslabels, @studiofiftysix, @chynikasworld & @dr.mallory.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Apr 21, 202228:31
this is ONE LAST WAVE actually. feat DANIEL FISCHER.

this is ONE LAST WAVE actually. feat DANIEL FISCHER.

dan fischer was heading out on his surfboard, in his regular everyday way, & he decided he wanted to take his dad - who had passed away - with him.  a simple act of remembrance started a wave – literally – of kindness & healing & paying it forward & connection, & it's become bigger than dan ever imagined it would or could. we chat about love & loss & human connection. finding light in dark places. with special guest: @onelastwaveproject. x. find more info at www.onelastwaveproject.com. follow the podcast on instagram @thisisitactually. follow me & the podcast on twitter @jenibesworth.
Apr 14, 202247:31
this is WHEN I WAS A TEEN actually.

this is WHEN I WAS A TEEN actually.

being a teen is no picnic but also actually the best. today's stories include: weird teen style, teenage love, teen pregnancy, 80s, 90s & 00s babies & the crystal clear memory of a first not-so-great kiss. it's about to get all teen nostalgic up in here. 

with special guests: @momma.barbosa, @_natandjen & @rebeccagarner_author.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Apr 07, 202228:05
this is LEISSE WILCOX actually.

this is LEISSE WILCOX actually.

leisse wilcox is obsessed with relationships. she's an expert in helping people finding truth and beauty in the relationships we have with ourself and others. 

leisse is a TEDx speaker, 2x author, NLP practitioner, top podcast host, cancer survivor, solo parent of three girls…and taco enthusiast.

find leisse @leissewilcox on instagram and on the interwebs at www.leissewilcox.com.

her books: alone, the truth & beauty of belonging and to call myself beloved, a story of hope, healing & coming home, can be found on her site & where books are bought! #shoplocal #shopsmallbusiness 

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Mar 31, 202249:49
this is PARENTING actually.

this is PARENTING actually.

i can't believe it's taken me 84 episodes to get to parenting, but let's face it, it's a biggie. 

we barely scratch the surface but this episode is loaded with a bunch of different stories from all different types of parents & parenting situations. same, but oh so different. 

with special guests: @britszc89, @thefeelingslady, @roamandramblephoto, @whyamipod & @sweetpotatochronicless.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Mar 24, 202232:17
this is FADS actually.

this is FADS actually.

i never owned a pair of penny loafers & i cobbled together looks through the fashion racks at bargain harold’s and bi-way. my hair was my hair – god help me - and it was what it was.

when it comes to fads, i think we’re all just trying to stand out by fitting in and it can be a little bit messy. fads come & go and sometimes they swing back 'round again. 

with special guests: @ellencbateman (twitter), @ellabye (instagram), @thatgirlmaureen01 & @sharronmatthews.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Mar 17, 202220:43
this is LU IN LULAND actually.

this is LU IN LULAND actually.

we're baaaackk! & i can't think of a better guest to kick off season 3 with!

LU has created LULAND - a world of positivity, female empowerment, graciousness, gratitude & community. it all began with a clothing swap & now she’s about to drive across the country in a green leopard print bus named after her mom, stopping in cities to meet new people, talk about liberation, sex, self-love, all while throwing a massive party in each place.

with special guest: @luinluland.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Mar 10, 202249:56
this is 2022 actually.

this is 2022 actually.

a little look back with a large look ahead, it's the final episode of season 2! with a beautiful astrology reading from my special guest kesley, @irongypsylife.

x.

find kesley at www.kesleytweed.com

follow the podcast on instagram & tiktok: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Jan 06, 202219:02
this is THAT THING THAT HAPPENED actually.

this is THAT THING THAT HAPPENED actually.

today's topic could be a million-parter - cuz let's face it, EVERYTHING is a thing that happened. i like to think there's a lesson - or a great story! - in all of it. what do we come out with? how do we learn? or is it just a thing we get to tell over a round of drinks?

with special guests: @bad_girl_camp_, @carolinehabib & @gregkrinoshow.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram & tiktok: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 30, 202123:60
this is MY MEMORABLE HOLIDAY actually.

this is MY MEMORABLE HOLIDAY actually.

i feel fortunate to be able to say i've experienced some pretty momentous holidays in my life. both of the travel & marked-date-on-the-calendar variety. today's stories give me all the feels. and definitely make me want to travel again asap.

with special guests: @eranthomson, @serenaholmesauthor & @melodiejewel.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram & tiktok: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth


Dec 23, 202119:53
this is the SELFLESS THING I DID actually.

this is the SELFLESS THING I DID actually.

not gonna' lie, it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to get people to tell their stories of selflessness but i was determined to get them, 'cuz i know they're out there! these ones do not disappoint. #DoGoodShit 

with special guests: @dylanlockstar, @candace_jongkind, @jayelehm, @afk2pt0 & @bigbikegiveaway.

x.

follow the podcast on instagram & tiktok: @thisisitactually

follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

Dec 16, 202126:18
this is YOUR TWO CENTS actually. feat SYLVIA BEIRNES.

this is YOUR TWO CENTS actually. feat SYLVIA BEIRNES.

my friend sylvia's new podcast YOUR TWO CENTS: the podcast, is not only informative & entertaining - it also boasts some BIGASS NAMES. today we talk about all of that, plus paying it forward & kindness. she doles out some super-duper money-saving tips & i also tell a riveting story about a mop i recently bought.  with special guest: @sylviabeirnes, @canadiancontentstudios. x. follow the podcast on instagram & tiktok: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth
Dec 09, 202149:12