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Three Bean Salad

Three Bean Salad

By Three Bean Salad
A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.
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The Titanic
We present the final episode of Series 2 in which Dustin (of Bremen?) has the beans discussing the luckless Titanic. In this spooooky edition of the podcast, house dust mites get a long overdue mention as do hurled milkshakes, interspecies breeding and the benefits of a sub-aquatic moth. Please stay tuned to this frequency as the beans shall return SOON! Get in touch: @beansaladpod
October 20, 2021
Portraiture is this week’s topic, responsibility for which lies squarely at the feet of Phil of Baltimore. The beans gab hard and true and, ever thorough, gab seven bells out of ham (again), Helen of Troy, lying to barbers and coastal face erosion. Get in touch: @beansaladpod Featuring "superhero fanfare.wav" by humanoid9000 of
October 12, 2021
Courtesy of Dr. P we present an episode on the theme of pagans. Fill your boots with golf, jet-skis, the history of rambling and the single moment at which the universe began, probably. Get in touch: @beansaladpod Featuring "Castanets, Multi, A (H1).wav" by InspectorJ ( of
October 06, 2021
Gavin has the beans unpack the topic of Jeffreys (Geoffreys?). In an episode stacked with boo boos and bungles the beans tackle Steves, Daves, rubber giraffes and whether or not scampi can ever be a verb. Get in touch: @beansaladpod Featuring "Orchestral Strings, Warm, A.wav" by InspectorJ ( of
September 28, 2021
Olana decrees that the beans have it out about islands. They comply and, in an effort to be thorough, cover ear growth, alternative aviation fuel solutions and how to avoid over-ordering in a restaurant. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
September 21, 2021
Hoist the Jolly Beans! Kathy of Bremen invites the beans to discuss flags and they are careful not to miss out memory aids, brownies, sliced bread and the secret to royal longevity. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
September 14, 2021
Accordionist Alex directs the beans towards the subject of buffets this week. Pile your plates high with UN etiquette, poker with The Boys and how best to handle a fire in a chemical warehouse. Tickets for Beef and Dairy Network live on 11th September 2021 are available here: In theatre tickets - Livestream tickets - Get in touch: @beansaladpod
September 07, 2021
Listener Sam steers the Beans towards the nightmarish topic of dystopia. Naturally they cover goat silos, national service for children and Andrew Lloyd Webber but they also reveal the true nature of Henry and Mike’s working relationship. Tickets for the livestream of the beans' live show on 2nd September 2021 are available here: Get in touch: @beansaladpod
September 01, 2021
Battling through a minor bean emergency, the beans take on the topic of romance. Roses, chocolates, candlelight, forcing an eel to swallow a wedding ring. Tickets for the livestream of the beans' live show on 2nd September 2021 are available here: Get in touch: @beansaladpod
August 24, 2021
The beans are back! It's time for series two and they kick off by discussing condiments at the behest of a listener called Lloyd. Also covered are gnocchi, electricity pylon safety and shooting a toucan. Tickets for the livestream of the beans' live show on 2nd September 2021 are available here: Get in touch: @beansaladpod
August 18, 2021
Bean Tasting Menu - Highlights Of Series One
Series two starts next week, but before that, here's a little bean tasting menu of the Beans' favourite bits from series one. The idea is that this might make be a good episode for confirmed Beanheads to point non-Beanheads in the direction of. Why not send it to a friend? Or a sibling? Or basically anyone whose email address you have. Even if that's the customer service email address for your energy supplier. It could be just what they need.
August 10, 2021
Live Beans Announcement
The Beans are doing their first ever live show (and livestream) and would like to tell you about it. London Podcast Festival, 2nd September 2021, 7pm (UK time) Tickets for the livestream can be found here:
August 05, 2021
Victoria (probably from Bremen) suggests the topic of purple and the beans roll up their silken sleeves and get stuck in. But not before they've talked about the fact that two of them have recently run into deceased dolphins (one of which was actually a porpoise). Regretably, Mike also talks about his guitar. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
June 29, 2021
Lynzee (don’t know where she’s from, but one assumes Bremen) suggested that the beans talk about magic and in doing so, they discover that Henry used to work in the company of some professional sorcerors. They also read an email about a randy quail. Get in touch:    @beansaladpod
June 23, 2021
Musical Instruments
When Anna of Bremen suggested the beans hit the topic of musical instruments she could not have known how lethally boring Mike is when he starts talking about the guitar. Luckily the beans navigate away from this sub-topic with skill and cover Henry’s youthful golden flute obsession and why Ben should stick to badminton. Listeners of a sensitive disposition should be warned this episode contains a bean crisis plus Emergency Pompidou. Get in touch:    @beansaladpod
June 16, 2021
Victoria suggests that the beans talk about the subject of sleep. On their way they touch on Margaret Thatcher, soldiers in the jungle, and the act of eating a crab's memories. Plus bird stories. NOTE: do not listen to this episode while you are sleeping or it will reprogramme your brain and you'll wake up with the intellect of a small brown bird. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
June 08, 2021
Someone called Michael suggests that the beans talk about asteroids. With this episode, the listener probably benefits from a working knowledge of six-time world snooker champion Steve Davis (also known as The Nugget, Steve "Interesting" Davis, The Ginger Magician, The Romford Robot, Romford Slim, Master Cueman, Golden Nugget) but crucially, it's still enjoyable even to a listener with no knowledge of this snooker titan. You'll really love it if you ARE Steve Davis. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
June 01, 2021
It's the first episode based on a listener suggestion, and what a suggestion. Someone called Fiona suggests that the beans talk about bags and the they go at it with gusto and laser-guided precision.   Get in touch: @beansaladpod
May 26, 2021
Submarines is this week's topic, and inevitably the beans end up talking about flightless birds. And flightful birds. And flaming pedalos shaped like birds. And macadamia nuts.
May 18, 2021
Rome is the topic this week so Coventry, sponges and Russell Crowe all get a mention and that's just for starters. Once again, thanks to a man called Gareth for the theme. Soon it'll be your turn to point us in the right direction.
May 11, 2021
A man called Gareth suggests that we discuss the topic of lizards. And so we cover crabs, octopuses, wolves, and of course, the royal family. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
May 05, 2021
A man called Gareth suggests that we discuss the topic of posters and see where it takes us. A counterfeit Santana. Prince Charles's toilet seat. Large and terrifying flightless birds. Get in touch: @beansaladpod
April 27, 2021