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The Time-Warp Wife Podcast

The Time-Warp Wife Podcast

By Time-Warp Wife Ministries

Darlene Schacht (Time-Warp Wife) and her family welcome you into their home for light-hearted conversations with a Christian perspective.
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For Such a Time As This

The Time-Warp Wife PodcastMay 18, 2020

00:00
01:01:37
Who Invented the Gelatin Turkey Dinner

Who Invented the Gelatin Turkey Dinner

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about bubble tea, the art of letter writing, and Darlene's thoughts on love.

Sep 22, 202101:03:34
Faith as a Mustard Seed

Faith as a Mustard Seed

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about making music with a microwave, Bible translations, and what Jesus was really saying about a mustard seed.

Sep 11, 202153:33
The Bible With an Unfortunate Typo

The Bible With an Unfortunate Typo

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about the $75,000 dog, how to make the day longer, and some difficult Bible Trivia.

Aug 31, 202101:05:29
We Are Finally Back

We Are Finally Back

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about angle grinder pizza, eating cactus, and Bible Trivia.


Aug 23, 202101:08:18
The Most Depressing Song Ever

The Most Depressing Song Ever

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about Stompin Tom Connors, Mobility Scooter Races, and the potential risk that comes with some online teaching.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Luke 1:1-4, "Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us, Even as they delivered them unto us, which from the beginning were eyewitnesses, and ministers of the word; It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee in order, most excellent Theophilus, That thou mightest know the certainty of those things, wherein thou hast been instructed." - KJV

Jul 02, 202101:02:06
Rockin the Plastic Udder

Rockin the Plastic Udder

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about "the white car", Darlene's milkshake addiction, and God's creation.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Psalm 19:1-6, "The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork. Day unto day utters speech, And night unto night reveals knowledge. There is no speech nor language Where their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth, And their words to the end of the world. In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun, Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, And rejoices like a strong man to run its race. Its rising is from one end of heaven, And its circuit to the other end; And there is nothing hidden from its heat." - KJV

Jun 22, 202101:04:22
Everyone Had a Cow in the Yard

Everyone Had a Cow in the Yard

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about why Darlene always got fired, bacon milkshakes, and the building of the second temple.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Haggai 1:5-6, "Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes." - KJV

Jun 16, 202101:00:27
Do It Thyself Projects

Do It Thyself Projects

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about whether ketchup is a smoothie, making Big Ben digital, and which Bible versions we use.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, 2 Timothy 2:15, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." - KJV

Jun 09, 202154:51
The World Record Backyard Fire

The World Record Backyard Fire

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about riddles, the meaning of life, and how Paul quoted from an ancient Greek play to make a point.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, 1 Corinthians 15:19, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." - KJV

May 31, 202101:04:52
The Department Store IQ Test

The Department Store IQ Test

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about sewer alligators, cooking eggs on a sidewalk, and the odds of Nathaniel getting into Harvard.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Galatians 5:9, "A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump." - KJV

May 24, 202101:03:10
What Are You Afraid Of?

What Are You Afraid Of?

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about how to climb a mountain in 4 minutes, a very old Bible, and the importance of reading God's Word daily.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Psalm 143:10, "Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness." - KJV

May 16, 202101:08:36
Look Up...Look Way Up

Look Up...Look Way Up

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about useless talents, the best prank ever, and discussing why satan is at war with the church.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, 1 Corinthians 2:9, "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." - KJV

May 10, 202101:00:33
I'm Not This Smart - Trust Me

I'm Not This Smart - Trust Me

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about DIY projects, music, and playing a few intense rounds of Bible Trivia.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

May 05, 202101:00:35
Roller Derby Was Almost My Career Choice

Roller Derby Was Almost My Career Choice

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about football, the Oscars, and the importance of returning a call from your mother.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Romans 8:13, "For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

Apr 25, 202101:00:19
That Was the Old New Me

That Was the Old New Me

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about Thomas Jefferson's Bible, jury duty, and Nathaniel's gross looking social media.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."

Apr 19, 202101:02:36
Steamboat Willie

Steamboat Willie

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about monkeys, racoons, and red pandas. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss, 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

Apr 12, 202101:04:15
A Little Unknown Fact About YouTube

A Little Unknown Fact About YouTube

Darlene, Michael and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about chopped onions, YouTube, and the dangers of social media. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss Proverbs 31:25, and what it really means to laugh without fear of the future.


Apr 05, 202101:01:25
Bats are Bats and Birds are Just Birds

Bats are Bats and Birds are Just Birds

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about food poisoning, flying squirrels, and tiny homes. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they take a closer look at Romans 8:18 which reads, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

Mar 29, 202101:02:54
The Evolution of Websites

The Evolution of Websites

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about internet security, deep fake, and  the danger that the advancement of technology has brought with it. 

Turning to the verse of the week they discuss Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."




Mar 15, 202101:09:24
The Real House of Mouse

The Real House of Mouse

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they're chatting about Stompin Tom, Extra Gum, and the night the mice ran wild. 

Turning to the verse of the week, they discuss Galatians 5:13, and what it means to put aside our freedom to humbly serve one another in love.

Mar 08, 202157:23
Heidi, Her Goat, and Her Grandpa

Heidi, Her Goat, and Her Grandpa

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they're chatting about free food, velcro boxes, and everyone's favorite childhood friend, or so we thought. Who hasn't heard of Heidi, her goat, and her grandpa? Nathaniel. 

Turning to the verse of the week, they discuss a passage from James 1:21-22, "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves."

Mar 01, 202101:07:41
Never Hire a Clown

Never Hire a Clown

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they're chatting about Warner Bros., Mercury, and 4,000 year old cats. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they look at 2 Corinthians 9:8, which reads, "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  

Feb 22, 202101:08:02
The History of Ever

The History of Ever

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are talking about the importance of teachers in the life of a believer and how we're never too old to learn something new. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week they discuss 2 Timothy 2:15, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 

Feb 15, 202101:13:33
Every Boat Needs a Name

Every Boat Needs a Name

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about thrift stores, accents, and the Spurgeon Documentary. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week they discuss Psalm 18:2, "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." 


Feb 07, 202159:19
How We Lost Our Apple Pie

How We Lost Our Apple Pie

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they're chatting about Doc Baker, Quincy, and hot apple pie. 

Turning to the verse of the week from Joshua 10:25 they read, "Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the Lord will do to all the enemies you are going to fight." And with that they discuss what courageous faith looks like in the life of a believer. 

Feb 01, 202101:04:37
Fish Fridays

Fish Fridays

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about the best way to cook a steak and the worst possible way to eat nacho chips. 

Turning to the Bible they dig into the verse of the week from Romans 5:8, reminding us of God's merciful kindness in that He loved and died for us while we were yet sinners. 

Jan 25, 202101:11:53
Tom Hanks Has All the Experience

Tom Hanks Has All the Experience

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about TV dinners, jelly salad, and chicken in a can.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week they discuss, Galatians 5:16, “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” They point out that the more we walk in the Spirit, the more we desire the things of the Spirit. It's a growing process by which we are reading, and learning, and drawing closer to Christ. 

Jan 18, 202150:50
Borg the Foolish

Borg the Foolish

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about Jerusalem, the Garden of Eden, and space rockets. 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss Matthew 6:19-21, answering the questions what is this treasure we have? And, how does it impact our lives? 

Jan 11, 202156:11
Mouth to Beak Resuscitation

Mouth to Beak Resuscitation

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about hospitals, drumming, and the time Darlene gave mouth to beak resuscitation to the bird. 

Turning to the Bible they discuss the verse of the week from Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (NIV)


Jan 04, 202101:10:36
Knock. Knock. Who's There?

Knock. Knock. Who's There?

Darlene, Michael and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about Chinese food, New Year's Eve, and their current situation in lockdown. 

Turning to the verse of the week, Nathaniel reads from James chapter 1:17 (not to be confused with James 117, which doesn't exist) where they discuss The Father of Lights. In closing, they welcome a special guest. Make sure you listen to the end so you don't miss out on that! 

Dec 30, 202053:47
Does a Cat Have Lips?

Does a Cat Have Lips?

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about moving, window shopping, and The Bread and Butter Company. 

Reading from Proverbs 12:19, they discuss the importance of honesty and what one should or shouldn't do should they catch a friend stealing from them.

Dec 21, 202001:02:44
From Augustine of Hippo to Elvis impersonators

From Augustine of Hippo to Elvis impersonators

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about gambling. Is a little okay? What does the Bible say about it, and where do you draw the line? 

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, they discuss Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." 

Nov 30, 202052:19
You Collect What?!

You Collect What?!

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the podcast this week where they chat about house hunting, bridges, and life in quarantine up here in the North.

Turning to our Bible verse of the week, we’re reading Romans 12:1-2. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Nov 23, 202001:06:02
Bang Goes the Victory!

Bang Goes the Victory!

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the podcast this week where they are chatting about the universe, meteorites, and how little we know about any of that.

Turning to the Bible verse of the week, we turn to 1 Peter 5:6-8, where we read: Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Nov 16, 202001:06:40
One Great Pig

One Great Pig

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about spiders, squirrels, and “one great pig.”

Turning to the Bible, they chat about this week's verse from John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Nov 09, 202059:08
Aim for the stars, but shoot for the moon

Aim for the stars, but shoot for the moon

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about astronomy, borscht, and Barbie’s with bendable knees.

Turning to this week’s Bible verse in Ephesians 3:20-21, they discuss the goodness and power of God. Darlene shares her testimony of how God blessed her exceedingly abundantly above all she would have ever thought possible.

Nov 02, 202058:52
Absa-Hundred-Lutely!

Absa-Hundred-Lutely!

This week on the podcast, Darlene, Michael and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table where they chat Charlie Brown, and Gilmore Girls, and an embarrassing little story that Darlene lets out of the bag.

Listen in as they discuss this week’s Bible verse, “All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.” (1 Corinthians 10:23, NAS)

Oct 26, 202001:08:17
If You Like Bacon Bits, You're Wrong

If You Like Bacon Bits, You're Wrong

This week on the podcast, Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table where they talk about turkey, BLTs, their favorite go-to meals, and walking 20 blocks with a microwave. Darlene describes a horrifying experience of driving over a steep embankment and how she almost rolled their car.

Oct 19, 202001:04:54
Faces Here, Faces There, I'm Seeing Faces Everywhere

Faces Here, Faces There, I'm Seeing Faces Everywhere

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to their kitchen table this week where they are chatting about nicknames, gerbils, beard cages, and the sometime adorable side of pareidolia. They close the podcast by expressing gratitude for the many things they are grateful for. 

Oct 12, 202001:02:37
I'll take "Books of the Bible" for 200

I'll take "Books of the Bible" for 200

Darlene, Michael and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week for a good old-fashioned game of Bible Jeopardy. 

On a more serious note, they talk about Darlene's passion and love for the homeless community and how she longs to see them again. Digging into the Word, they chat about Galatians 5:22 with a focus on long-suffering and how it differs from patience. 

Oct 05, 202001:10:29
ADHD at Work

ADHD at Work

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they discuss some of the highlights of their lives as well as some of the more unusual moments. They talk about the annoying habits that they'd like to change, and of course their failure to do so. 

On a more serious note, they discuss the joy the Christian living, how Paul is was full of joy, and how he maintained that joy while he was imprisoned.


Sep 27, 202001:11:02
Toothpaste Poison Patrol

Toothpaste Poison Patrol

Darlene, Michael and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they are chatting about awful dog names, glue on a string, and the potential danger of toothpaste. 

On a more serious note, they talk about the importance of knowing the God's Word. When Satan attacks, he'll use arguments and he'll twist scripture any way that he can to draw us away from our faith. They talk about knowing what you know by spending time in the Word and staying connected to the body of Christ.

Sep 21, 202059:38
Laughing Over Spoiled Milk

Laughing Over Spoiled Milk

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about non alcoholic drinks, little paper umbrellas, and three (exactly three) shots of Febreeze.

They talk about the source of sin and the importance of the righteousness of Christ. They also talk about the source of stress, what it really means to trust that God will direct our steps. They remind you that where you are and what you are doing today is the perfect opportunity to learn, to grow, and to prepare for tomorrow.

Sep 14, 202055:25
My Biggest All-Time Dream

My Biggest All-Time Dream

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they're talking about all of the strange and wonderful things you'd find in their closet—their brand-spanking-new baskets to be exact. They agree to disagree on beautiful furniture and don’t agree to agree on almost every other topic.

On a more serious note, they’re talking about being clay in the Potter’s hands and how important it is to be pliable and open to God’s leading. They talk about the timing of God and how His wisdom excels ours in every way. We can and should step out, but God will always be directing our steps. Finally, the conversation turns to the book of John and the details of the Last Supper. Was John the disciple Jesus loved? Was he leaning on Christ that night? Is Leonardo’s depiction of the Last Supper correct? These are just some of the questions they’re discussing.

Sep 06, 202001:03:37
6 Degrees of Toasted Bacon

6 Degrees of Toasted Bacon

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to the kitchen table this week where they chat about Darlene’s cooking disasters, the night they eloped, and why Michael’s wedding ring is in his back pocket.

On a more serious note, they dig into the word of God to talk about the importance of listening to and obeying one’s conscience. They look at the story of Zacchaeus where they see his passionate response to God’s grace, and just how quickly the Spirit went to work in his life.

Aug 31, 202001:01:23
Middle-Age Syndrome

Middle-Age Syndrome

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel Schacht invite you to their kitchen table this week where they chat about life as a four-year-old, life as a teenager, and life as it is now. What were you doing when you were that age?

They also talk about Christianity in the schools, how much it’s changed, and what it looks like today.

Aug 24, 202053:14
Where There's Smoke There's a Breath Mint

Where There's Smoke There's a Breath Mint

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to the kitchen table this week where they discuss Darlene’s love for the Word, Nathaniel’s love for sound, and Michael’s love for smoked fish.

On a more serious note, they discuss the unfortunate fact that the church is divided and how unity with wisdom and love is a vital part of our growth. Finally, they talk about the power of the cross and how it makes the bitter sweet!

Aug 17, 202001:08:15
The Shopping Cart on Our Roof

The Shopping Cart on Our Roof

In this podcast, Darlene shares her thoughts on Exodus chapter 3--how God led Moses in the way that He did and at the specific time that He did. The 40 years God waited was not a waste of time, but a time of training and education.

They also talk about their passion for pranks as well as some real, yet sometimes irrational, fears.

Aug 10, 202057:49
Velvet Elvis

Velvet Elvis

Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel invite you to their kitchen table where they chat about losing a small part of their family this week to a goat farm. They also talk about storms, their love of them, and the time that Michael drove through the edge of a tornado.

On a more serious note, they chat about Galatians and how passionate Paul was about the Galatian church—those who were deceived with the idea that they had to mix the law in with their faith. They talk about the commandments written on stone and how they are now written on our hearts. 

Aug 02, 202001:01:45
The Big Birthday Extravaganza

The Big Birthday Extravaganza

(Note, these giveaways are for a limited time, therefore if you are listening at a later date they may no longer be available.)

Today on the podcast, Darlene, Michael, and Nathaniel are celebrating The Big Birthday Extravaganza. In celebration of Nathaniel’s nineteenth birthday, they’re giving listeners a secret link that opens a portal to their freebie library. They’re also hosting a special giveaway, so you don’t want to miss out on this one!

Also on the podcast, they’re talking about guilt, conviction, and walking in the Spirit with a clear conscience. As the Word of God cleanses the conscience, it starts functioning as it should. Moving forward, it should never be ignored.

Jul 27, 202001:06:02