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Tipsy Mystics

Tipsy Mystics

By Kimberly Darwin
Do you realize you're creating your reality? Grab a cocktail, fire up, or pop an edible...and join Kim and Maranda for a light-hearted look at the wild "reality" of the evolution of consciousness!
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Limitations! Going, Going, Gone: Anything That Focuses You On What ISN'T.
Limitations! The Self is not Limited, per Seth Beliefs we thought were GONE...not. How to be more "Me." Going:  Anything that focuses you on what ISN'T. Taking responsibility for the good things you've done. Being inexperienced at joy. Kimberly meets a 1,000 year-old woman. Technology or Nature.  It's up to you. Kimberly's new dishwasher. You don't have to figure it all out. Kimberly embeds love into a stranger's new house. Eating:  heading toward algae smoothies & nutritional chocolate chip cookies. Maranda is drinking:  Trader Joe's Blueberry Lemonade Seltzer Kimberly is drinking:  2018 Poppy Pinot Noir
May 11, 2022
Being What's Never Been :: Geese as Guides :: If You Have Knotty Hair...
Goodbye short-term memory - 5 seconds max! Humorous Universal interjections during conversations. How your past can not exist. Milli Vanilli in nature. How Maranda gauges Earth energy by the flow of creek water. Geese and how few f*cks they give. Kim reading information from flowers, having trouble with red. Training coyotes away from cats and dogs. Dreams: Maranda can't wake up anymore.  Kim doesn't care to remember. BEING what's never BEEN. If you have Knotty Hair... Kimberly is drinking:  2018 Poppy Pinot Noir Maranda is drinking: Sparkly water
April 19, 2022
Action plans are OUT...Aimlessness is IN. Natural empaths emerging NOW.
The status of war on our timelines.  Hint:  It's sunny A black woman in the Supreme Court: Best timeline ever Kim's biggest issue:  Aimlessness Sitting on your couch and BEING Natural empaths emerging now Lightworkers not needing to meditate in caves anymore Finding someone's entire identity in a bag Letting Source work through you Recognizing the Next Step (or not) Realizing that nothing makes any sense let it all go. Kimberly is drinking:  2018 Poppy Pinot Noir Maranda is drinking:  Bubbly non-alcoholic stuff Check out @philgoodlife on Instagram for more Lightworker support.
April 11, 2022
Maranda Guides a Lost Man in 5D
Who decided what a wine pour is?  Cereal portions in 5D. RIP Betty White. Kim's non-physical team picks spots in her consciousness. Deathwalking and raves on the Rainbow Bridge. Maranda guides a lost man in 5D. How lightworkers trigger people: would you like to know in advance? Kim's preparation for physical ET-contact. Other lives Kim is living: airplane psychic and bowl-cut nun. --------- Maranda is drinking: Elderberry soda without tequila. Kim is drinking:  Nomadica red-blend wine and Earl Grey Tea
January 18, 2022
Earth as an Emotional Amusement Park
Kim lost her "voice" for 6-months (felt like 13 hours). Maranda experiences anger as she emerges from her cocoon. Throwing fake authenticity out the window. Mickey the Gnome:  Earth is an emotional amusement park. Why do we create lives with such negativity? Introducing Anya the 5D cat. The clock is gone, the days are gone, and the calendar is almost out the door. Frequency:  are you always clearing, or are you always progressing? The Grassman in the Hills. Walking around in your own ideas. Experiencing other people's joy - crying ensues. The myriad kinds of love available to you. Requesting a 5D council to fix sidewalk cracks. ------- Kim is drinking:  Earl Grey Tea Maranda is drinking:  Foofy Soda
January 10, 2022
Living In A World That Doesn't Need Saving
Do you feel an urgent call to save.....anyone?  If so, you're exploring a common theme with other Lightworkers.   Kim and Maranda discuss the theme of Light vs Dark polarity, and how saving the world was never really the intention in the first place.  You came here to expand in joy, and the only thing you need to room for dessert. ___________________ Maranda is drinking hard Kombucha Kimberly is drinking LaCroix and a hit of Clementine by Select. ___________________ If you want to co-create in a big way, visit the AwakeCon site for more details on Earth's first multi-dimensional conference.
August 25, 2021
5D Guides on the 3D Plane
Kim and Maranda are back!  With shorter episodes for those of you with over-stimulated evolving minds.  What a wild ride this is! Your guides are here by previous agreement, to help you expand your consciousness.  They can take any shape, from acrobat to dead possum, to the cashier at your favorite store.  It's all about service---with messages and lessons passed around in any interaction.  Will you get the most out of it?  Do you know how you're serving others as a guide? In any case, the Tipsy Mystics always recommend that you include humor in the mix, for the Universe is all about inclusion. :)   When things aren't taken so seriously, you are relaxed enough to apply the message, and recognize the levity of any situation.  We're all here to expand, so you might as well have fun. Our motto:  Drinks on the patio. __________ Maranda is drinking:  Hard Kombucha Kim is drinking:  Coffee with Clementine Sativa __________ Visit the Are You Awakening blog Visit Astro Bartender.  Maranda is now offering readings!
August 11, 2021
New Girls on the Plane, Weirdest Manifestations, Getting Pixied
What 5D versions of your family look like. Choosing to stay in 3D vs trusting yourself in 5D. Kim gets "Pixied" on Santa Monica Blvd. Why corn mazes are complicated. The weirdest way to manifest laundry soap. Maranda goes to Target for guidance. Threats:  Dangling a kid over the shark tank. Inside the minds of death row inmates. Attachments vs associations, and how to drop them in 5D. New bird on our timeline:  Fairy Wren ------- Maranda is drinking:  pineapple seltzer Kimberly is drinking:  Truly Hard Lemonade ------- Visit the AwakeCon show site
June 24, 2021
Live from the Light Grid: The Sex Life of Cicadas, The Benefit of Contrast
Tipsy Mystics live from the Light Grid, from YouTube transmission. What is the Light Grid? The Non-physical Unseen Audience that accompanies you everywhere you go. Maranda's Windfall Day:  Manifesting abundance in 20 minutes. The 17-year drawn-out sex life of cicadas. How assumptions can steer you down a path of despair--most times. Full lunar eclipse:  Who do you trust? _______ Maranda is drinking: Watermelon tequila? + LaCroix coconut soda. Kim is drinking:  Canned wine _______ Visit the AwakeCon site
June 04, 2021
Timeline glitches, A Spanking From The Acturians, Has The Event Started?
When Orion energies move to Earth and play the bad guys. Timeline glitches that make it feel like Groundhog Day. Has The Event started? Power imbalances arising for the collective. How Seth is sneaking back into 2021 timelines. Your 5D Self and your Instagram feed. 5D inertia: Half exhaustion, half wild energy. New Earth bartering exchange: free information and everyone wins. Why underpaid workers are refusing to work, and how it's changing the job market. 2021 finances: The darkest divine comedy. Maranda's last pennies. What funemployed lightworkers do with their day. Arcturians challenge humans to a duel:  Faith vs Mental Processing.  Pretty sure we all know who wins. _______ Maranda is drinking:  Loverboy Hard Tea Kimberly is drinking: Pellegrino again _______ Mentioned in podcast:  Seth books by Jane Roberts Daniel Scranton channels the Arcturians Visit Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening Read Maranda's channeling at Astro Bartender
May 20, 2021
Being Funemployed, Showering Spammers with Love, Lightworkers & The Vax
Kim's Masters Thesis on Alice in Wonderland Alexandr the spammer Things don't have to be hard The downfall of corporate swag Funemployed and buying with abandon Telepathy : when pictures replace words Kim's ride on a really big multidimensional animal Recognizing the energy of loved ones Maranda visits WW2 ancestors and showers them with love Why "screaming into the abyss" is a great rebalancing practice Pluto in Retrograde - stuff's being revealed How Ted Cruz helped the collective evolve Why does Kim have a Mahjong set? Lightworkers & The Vax _______________________ Maranda is drinking:  Canned Wine! Kimberly is drinking:  Tangerine Pellegrino Visit Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening? Visit Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender
May 08, 2021
Fake Alien Invasion Coming Soon? Will Tearing Down Statues Change the Future? - with Special Tipsy Guest, Tess
It's a Tipsy Trio as our friend Tess joins us with her special perspective. Will tearing down old statues change the future? News of a fake alien invasion:  Is it "Wag the Dog" or adventurous timeline fun? Hint: Humanity loves ETs. How close are we to full extraterrestrial contact? How kindness bloomed during the pandemic. All about healing.  How much is enough? Maranda's boxed-in job counseling session. Using crystals to aid the healing of physical ailments. Do you have a failsafe frequency raiser? 5D wackiness:  Tess gets messages for Kimberly. ---- Visit the AwakeCon site Check out Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
April 13, 2021
The Suez Canal Incident: Whimsical Crop Circle, or Battle Over A Major Portal? Choose Your Fun.
No More Human Rules - Universal rules override the human condition Maranda and Kim have one foot firmly planted on each plane: Half 3D and half 5D. How Kim lost an entire company from her past. Which belief changed your reality the most when you redesigned it?  Hint:  People aren’t shitty. Dead animals appearing in our beautiful 5D reality….are we mis-manifesting? How movies like “Michael” and “Elf” plant seeds about limitless life.  We can learn from all that sugar. Spirit essences practicing physicality in Kim’s kitchen. Birds popping from balls of light. Are dragons next? The Suez Canal incident: a large boat emulating sexual positions, or invasion of Earth’s biggest portal? You decide. Vibrating underwear and long distance lamps to practice telepathy? Kim’s other self wants a newer Porsche.  Kim disagrees.  Their “battle” turns physical. _______ Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha, big surprise Kim is drinking: Mango White Claw + Jack Herer --------- Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Visit Kim's blog at Are You Awakening
March 29, 2021
3D v. 5D Bitch Session - Explicit!
Kim and Maranda have just had enough of the whole awakening process, feeling glued in place with one foot stuck on each plane...and no clear instructions. If you are feeling torn between the physical world and the spiritual world, are not sure what exactly is solid and what isn't anymore, then this session is for you.  We get lost in parallel realities, voice our disdain for all things symbolic ("Just tell me the damn answer!"), and finally end up admitting that the journey is fun, despite our bitching. ------------ Maranda is absolutely drinking.  (Kombucha of course) Kimberly's drink is a responsible chemistry experiment including vodka + electrolytes. + Blue Dream. ----------- Visit The Are You Awakening Blog Check out Astro Bartender
March 11, 2021
5D Starbucks Baristas Sing In Unison, When Trusted Sources Trigger You
When spiritual sources you trust trigger you instead. Weird things that awake people buy to amuse themselves. Maranda's 5D Starbucks baristas nearly break out into dance. ______ Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha with pink gin Kimberly is drinking: Peppermint Tea (from The Tea Spot) with Green Dream Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Check out Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening
February 22, 2021
When You Know That You Can't Die, Crashing Spaceships in 5D, Goodbye Sunglasses
Maranda's car spinning wheels for no reason - when the Universe wins. Being stuck in the snow and in life. Escapes go bye-bye in 5D. Deserving to get what you give. Learning to accept help after Hurricane Katrina. Work separation anxieties. Associations made with Valentine's Day. Communicating with dead relatives. Kim's dead brother Chuck gives motorcycle instructions. Perfectionism vs Non-Perfectionist. Lightworkers as Cosmic Triggers. Eating fried chicken with the Amish, learning about Excellence. No longer needing sunglasses as your eyes adjust to the sun. Recognizing yourself in human mirrors and healing on the spot. A watched pot can never boil. Let the damn pot boil! Your body as a neon sign.  Cold spells as you release fear. Water unlocks memories. Kim's life as a catty burlesque dancer. It's a beautiful life. ------------ Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha, of course. Kim:  Green Dream Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender See Kim's blog Are You Awakening
February 09, 2021
Maranda invades Kim's Dream, steals kitten. The Meanest Thing You've Ever Done. Free Versions vs Paid Versions
Maranda shows up in Kim's dream to question her integrity. Symbolism in 3D world, decoded from a 5D perspective. Subscription-based services:  Do you always choose the free version? Gamestop, Reddit and unity in choices made for the collective. Kim's flashback of the meanest thing she's ever done to a human. ------- Sorry for the audio, that was Kim's bad. Maranda is drinking:  Happy Kombucha with L-Theanine Kim is drinking:  Titos and Tangerine soda ------- Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Check out Kim's blog Are You Awakening Visit the AwakeCon site
February 01, 2021
The Inauguration: Mars/Uranus Conjunction & CHANGE NOW, Where Found Money Comes From, Healing Other You's
Shopping in 5D Former Scrooge Maranda gets a new view of abundance. Symbolism of broken toilets The Lottery: funding someone else's abundance. Control vs Power Maranda's intention to champion King's Tennis. Lightworkers and Kitchen Spiders. Guides explaining where found money comes from. You, healing other You's.  PS:  They heal you too. ------ Dry January (so far): Maranda is drinking: Sparkling Water Kimberly is drinking:  Still Water Lapsang Soochong Tea Visit Maranda's Blog Astro Bartender Check out Kim's Instagram at @areyouawakening
January 20, 2021
Talking To Yourself In Public, Flying Glasses of Water, & Earth as a Living Library
Keeping castoff furniture vs what you really want. Imagining Earth without landfills. Functional Fixedness - Multiple uses = multiple possibilities. Uncovering telepathic skills. The glass of water that moved tables in front of oblivious partygoers. Do you believe channeled beings more than your Higher Self? Earth as a Living Library and why humans are so valuable. All about shame. People talking to themselves in public.  Is this you? Mars moving out of Aries - release that anger! Different ways to look at the Storming of the Capitol.  Change or Strife? Your reality need not match ANYONE else's. The future of Earth as a Party Planet. __________ Maranda is drinking:  Dry January....kombucha. Kim is drinking:  Moringa Sage tea. Visit the AwakeCon site. Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender. Kim's blog Are You Awakening?
January 11, 2021
How to Avoid New Karma, Energetic Anxiety, House Fairies
Warning:  Explicit language! :) Maranda moves into the house she designed 170 years ago. House Fairies and how they share space with you. Swan update. Third-grade Kim steals a horse. Why New Earth can have happy sanitation workers. Memory bleedthroughs starting.  Which door is the right door? Deja vu in the Now. How and why people arrive in your life, and when they leave. People judging Lightworkers as "crazy." Creating life from a misinterpreted text message. Who are you bringing with you to New Earth? The AwakeCon Spider room and Gumbyphobia. Psychological Flexibility in 2021. ______ Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha (dry January) Kim is drinking Pellegrino and Tito's + Green Dream ______ Check out the AwakeCon site Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Kim's blog Are You Awakening
January 05, 2021
Jupiter/Saturn High-Fiving in Space, Do We Beta Test New Fruit Creations?
Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction and how the Age of Aquarius is a really good thing. Message from Maranda's non-physical team:  Cannons of Confetti! How to redesign your past.   Jumping down to 3D to take Harmony to the mechanic. Kim's showdown with food beliefs:  Risotto wins. Kim meets her homeless friend Ricky on another plane. Turtle sex. When the Higher Self takes over the conversation....without prior notice. Recognizing the awakening path of others:  AwakeDar. How kids use intuition naturally...and win games! Buddha's Hand Fruit - is it creative beta testing?. Divine Masculines opening their hearts on The Bachelorette. Send Maranda your birth chart and she may ask you for a date. _____ Maranda is drinking: Cabernet Advent Wine Kim is drinking: 2017 Barbera del Monteferrato red _____ Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Kim's blog Are You Awakening
December 23, 2020
5D Plumbers, Multidimensional Breakdowns & Weather Forecasts from Another Timeline
Having a multidimensional whine session with the guides. Truckersexuals Maranda's body goes numb...and she's too numb to investigate. Kim's reckoning with risotto.  Testing patience through trust. Maranda requires a plan in the 5D world of unknowns. The 5D plumber that clears drains in no time. Kim's missing gloves - still in a parallel reality. What timelessness looks like.  Zapping the past and re-associating things. Maranda's weather forecast from another timeline. Things to do when you worry:  Worry Huts, Worry Dolls, Essential Oils. Astrological Pop-quiz: Pull in the knowledge from other lives. _________ Maranda is drinking:  Red Advent Wine Kim is drinking Pellegrino & Blue Dream _________ Visit Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender Kim's blog Are You Awakening Sign up for AwakeCon updates
December 14, 2020
Who is installing the Monoliths?, Gushing in 5D, Gloves Lost In a Parallel Reality
Maranda emotes feelings on the 5D plane. Housefly symbolism and Venus Fly Traps (Dark vs Light in the plant world?). Kimberly views life through the eyes of a Hammerhead Shark. Couples Facebook Accounts:  Maranda's unexpected reply. Twin Flame theme:  integration or lost identity? Who is responsible for the Monoliths? Hint:  it's all in good fun. Kimberly loses her gloves in a parallel reality and can't get back. The Oh Shi(f)t Timeline at AwakeCon. How Harry Styles is rocking the cover of Vogue. When you stop judging others and move to yourself. Seth on natural guilt vs artificial guilt. Early December astrological leanings associated with guilt. The 12th house, and anything related to Neptune or Pisces.   ______ Maranda is drinking:  Day 6 of Advent Calendar wine from In Good Taste. Kimberly is drinking:  2018 Beaver Creek Fairytale Cabernet blend. ______ Visit the AwakeCon site to sign up for early access. Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Kimberly's blog:  Are You Awakening?
December 07, 2020
Using Emo Feelings to Create, Dec 21st: End of the world (again)? Plus AwakeCon Intro
(Live on YouTube 11-27-20) Maranda's Wine-a-Day Advent Calendar ( Kids creating potions.  Why? Maranda's new house has spider sidekicks (Redesigning a fear). When things you've been waiting to manifest actually happen.  What is that feeling? conference announcement:  Los Angeles 2021. The Lioness vibrator with app.  The first raffle prize. Upcoming December 21, 2020 Equinox:  Aquarius with Saturn and Jupiter stirring stuff up. December 21, 2012 vs December 21, 2020.  Do predictions ever come true? Kim:  Highly emotional (EMO!) times are the best times to create. When leaders already in place go through the awakening process.  Further 8th Chakra clearing for much of humanity. Trolls request access to Maranda's 5D meeting room. ___________ More on December 21, 2020 at Maranda's blog Astro Bartender More information on, Los Angeles CA 2021.
November 30, 2020
Lightworkers and Responsible Fun, Too Spacey to Ride a Motorcycle, Ebenezer Scrooge : OG Awake Guy
How Lightworkers learn to have "responsible fun in Wonderland." Practical Cars vs Impractical Cars:  McLaren battles the Ford GT. Debbie Downers: Devils on your shoulder pretending to be Angels. New Year's Even in Pandemic Times. The most Authentic You: who is that and how do you find it? Maranda's fencing match with her ego. Kim's motorcycle meltdown on Pacific Coast Highway. La Parure (The Necklace) by Guy de Maupassant - a girl who didn't have all the facts. Homeless guide changes trickle down to the physical.  Good news! Homeless camps standing up for their right to exist. Drag Race or Something Else?  Two Next Door perspectives. One Koch brother shows remorse for his actions. Ebenezer Scrooge:  The OG Awake Guy.  It only took him one night. __________ Maranda is drinking:  Lemoncello La Croix Kimberly is drinking:  Neverending Grey Goose and Black Cherry Pellegrino __________ Check out Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender Check out Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening?
November 22, 2020
Friday the 13th Orion Energy, Telepathy vs Whiskey, 8th Chakra Access, Dual Trump/Biden Timelines
Friday the 13th superstition, the symbol bank and the Orion Star system. Red party cups and empowerment. Telepathy vs Whiskey. Jupiter / Pluto conjunction and re-examining your power. Dual Timelines on Earth:  Trump timeline and Biden timeline. This week's 4 letter word:  EASE. Abraham Hicks and allowing. Linear vs Holographic of them has got to go. Kim's cleaning lady and using Clary Sage for clearing of fear. Maranda pleads with ghosts. Kim's worm saga and what happens when we refuse to face a fear. 8th Chakra Access:  your higher self, your team, and your Twin Flame. How to start automatic writing. Choosing your best future timeline. Why predictions don't always come to fruition. How to stop saving the world. _____ Maranda is drinking:  Boozy Kombucha in a wine glass Kimberly is drinking Pellegrino + Blue Dream _____ Check out Maranda's channeling on Astro Bartender Kim's video on 8th Chakra Access
November 16, 2020
Lightworker Overload, The Famous Pence Fly, Non-Judgment Testing
Election Day and why the A-K line was empty, while Maranda's stood forever in the L-Z line. Kim's non-judgment test --- bravado and smugness...until the final challenge. domain name registration and timeline jumping? You decide. Daylight Savings Time and the collective's root assumptions about Time. Lightworkers exhaustion and over-the-top sleep sessions this week. Psychological astrology and how the zodiac is changing. Earth stuff vs Soul stuff.  Finding the real reasons behind those annoying recurring triggers. Insurance in a 5D world.  Is someone deciding your worth? ---- Maranda is drinking:  Boozy Kombucha Kim is drinking:  Grey Goose and Blood Orange Pellegrino Get a free reading from Maranda on Astro Bartender Kim's blog article on Lightworkers and Sleep
November 09, 2020
Dreams About Losing Your Teeth, Being Zapped in the Medulla, Maranda Manifests an Admirer
Halloween 2020 Edition Maranda drinks Darkness. Kim's 2-day bender on the symbolism of teeth. Why people are so afraid of dentists. Maranda manifests a not-so-secret admirer. Connectivity issues near Halloween's full moon. Being overshot with energy by the non-physical team. How our guides are ascending too. The Tower Card vs the Death Card. Maranda's team censors our episode with audio issues. Why some symbols stop showing up. ---- Maranda is drinking:  Bad PA wine Kim is drinking:  Ginger Tea Check out Kimberly's art. Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
November 02, 2020
How 5D Looks Like Wonderland, How To Make Yourself Invisible, Do ETs Need the Nazca Lines to Land?
Kim's fear of snacks. Maranda's swan manifestations. How 5D is like Wonderland. How Kim makes herself invisible. Purging: Spiders and the fear archetype. Natural disasters: do awake people still prep? How to identify a guide in public. The Nazca Lines in Peru:  Why? Scorpio season. Mercury Retrograde:  The Astrological Scapegoat. Visit Kim's Are You Awakening blog Check out Maranda's Astro Bartender blog
October 25, 2020
Why Pajamas are Expensive on 3D Earth, Kim vs the AARP, Dolores Cannon & Background People
The first souls to create apples + shameless imitators. Kim's upcoming 55th birthday party and her beef with AARP. Ricky's prediction for the end of the world in 2050 if he marries Lisa Marie Presley. Dolores Cannon and background players -  do they have souls or not? Why pajamas are expensive on 3D Earth. Nano clothing. Permission slips in helping you to awaken. Base/sacral chakra blockage + communication challenges in throat chakra. Making assumptions about anything. Mars energy and sovereignty. Taking care of yourself first.  Check out Kim's YT Channel Are You Awakening Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Dolores Cannon's books discussed:  The Convoluted Universe series
October 20, 2020
Maranda's 170-Year Old House, Hating Photos of Yourself, Why Pluto is a Badass Planet
Maranda goes back 170 years to design her new house. How kids' movies plant seeds in you & help you revisit your past. Being a Consciousness with a Body vs a Body with Consciousness. What you eat:  your belief systems and how they affect your physical form. Various states of Tipsy - including the labels we put on terms. Pluto in retrograde and why Pluto is a female badass. Check out Kim's blog at Are You Awakening Check out Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender
October 07, 2020
WAIT is a 4-letter Word, Kimberly's Alternate-Timeline Photo Shoot, Why You See 11:11
Kim and Maranda had a lighthearted chat about the craziness of waiting for things to manifest.   While 100 Million people were watching the Presidential debates, Kim and Maranda chose a different that isn't affected by political discord or pandemics.  It may be worse, though.  It's the timeline of WAITING.   With many planets going out of retrograde this week, this is a time for revisiting things.  Old boyfriend memories.  Childhood stuff that needed to get cleared out.  Nostalgia.     What seems like waiting is actually You, rebalancing energy to let out the things you don't want, and let in the things that you do want.  During these times, it looks like nothing is happening because it seems like your physical world isn't manifesting anything new.   The Mystics use the analogy of a wooden roller coaster:  a little bit rickety, really loud, and sort of unpredictable.  Life will have its ups and downs, of course, and those segments will have beginnings and ends that you will learn to recognize.  This helps you enjoy the ride a bit more, even if it flings hair in your eyes around a few turns.   You are shedding characteristics of an old self that no longer represents who you've become.  Let it go.   If you must use the word "wait, then see if you can re-label the WAIT into WORTH THE WAIT.    Check out Maranda's channeled wisdom at Astro Bartender  Visit Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening   *Sorry for the audio - it's the exact same setup as usual, with different results.  Here is an example of a communication issue at work. We stated that there were issues, and thus we turned our statement into form.   Thoughts create. As within, so without. And so it is. This shit is real.
September 30, 2020
Bad Behavior in Atlantis, Transferring House Flies in a Zoom Meeting, and Napoleon Hill - The OG Manifester
Human + Animal experimentation in Atlantis and why Centaurs always look mad. How Maranda eliminated squirrels from Kim's timeline. Kim transfers a fly over a Zoom meeting. Ruth Bader Ginsberg's accomplishments and why she'll be back really soon. Maranda goes back 150 years to design the house she wants to buy now. 'Think and Grow Rich' - Napoleon Hill and how his deaf son learned to hear. Faith and Knowing - Your Higher Self wants you to win. --- Maranda is drinking:  Elderflower carbonated water. Kim is drinking:  Black Cherry Pelligrino. --- Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Kim's You Tube Channel Are You Awakening
September 24, 2020
Timelines, Spam Texts and Disappearing Houses
First episode on Twitch Tipsy:  It's a state of mind.  No chemicals required unless you choose them. Maranda channels Janis Joplin. What to do with downloads you receive. Maranda's download:  The Creation of the Universe. Kimberly's download:  A full emergency rescue manual. Souls just wanna have fun. Timeline inconsistencies:  Houses appearing and disappearing. Maranda's disappearing ex-boyfriend. Your physical body as a representation of what you think about yourself. Kimberly's friend that's been invisible for 22 years. Kimberly picks out dresses for the Oscars. New Maranda visits Old Maranda. Being told you're a shitty person. The Fun House vs The Haunted House. Family and Friends who refuse to accept their roles as creators of their reality. How lightworkers can resemble therapists.  Talking to others' Higher Selves. Spam calls and texts and their symbolism Upcoming timelines:  sunnier and more freedom. How to tell when you've made a major timeline switch. --- Maranda is drinking:  Tequila! Kimberly:  Pellegrino and Jack Herer vape pen --- Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening
September 18, 2020
9-11 Edition: Mr. T as a Guide, Laying Around As An Art, The Weird Images Your Guides Send You
9-11 Edition:  How you store primary events as memories Going through the "potato" stage of awakening Laying around as an art Mr. T as a guide Kimberly promises to channel Janis Joplin on stage New Channeled Artifact: Mysterious Lumanian Runes  Maranda's Guides appearing as the Simpsons' cast --- Maranda is drinking:  Tequila! Kimberly is drinking:  Pellegrino and a hit from the Jack Herer vape pen --- Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender See Kimberly's art collaboration with Janis Joplin Check out the Are You Awakening blog
September 15, 2020
DEATH on the Physical and 5D levels, Maranda's Exit from 3D, and Plasma Insects in Your Home
From a YouTube Live Chat recorded 9-9-2020 Kimberly's "Charlotte's Web" scenario with a Kitchen Spider The death of Maranda's Ego Everything is in retrograde Future Stoned Mystics episodes as soon as marijuana is legalized in Pennsylvania Plasma Spiders and Flies are in your home right now People delivering messages to you without knowing it Maranda explains The North Node and facts being stuffed down our throats Kimberly's beef with the Industrial Revolution, and a cardboard box anachronism How humans are trained to suffer vs grow in joy Neck tape Polite flies vs impolite flies Why you create the props in your environment How we give our power away -  to insects, to others, and to the ego. --- Maranda is drinking:  Downeast Pumpkin Cider Kimberly is drinking: Quaderna Via Viticultura Ecologica Red blend from Spain --- Visit Maranda's site Astro Bartender See this video on YouTube 
September 11, 2020
Throat Chakra Meltdowns, Working With Seth, and Maranda's Automatic Writing
Maranda and Kimberly both have frogs in their why NOT hit the record button??? Kim's Throwback Chrome Tab Configuration from 3 years ago shows up today. Why Maranda dreads cleaning out old apartments after she moves. Kim's art collaboration with Reptilian artist Azior. The God concept: Come Save Us! (and why there are so many superheros). How tacos fit into the Archetypes. --- Maranda is drinking: PA Mojito Cider Kim is drinking:  Elossa Hard Kombucha Visit Maranda's site Astro Bartender See Kim's Reptilian Art Collaborations
August 27, 2020
The End of the World, the Lumanians, and Bringing Your Family to New Earth
Will the world end on Dec 21, 2020? The Lumanians Choosing which timeline you prefer: A peaceful world or a sploady world? How your consciousness blinks on and off The impossibility of UN-BEING Accessing Akashic Records and how Kimberly taps into Janis Joplin Collective beliefs about the future Bringing your family to New Earth with you Kimberly's failure at playing music and why she bought a Roli Where does Mahjong come in? *There are some noises that appeared on this recording which we did not edit out.  We were guided to leave them in there, as they are related to the discussions surrounding the Lumanians and their unusually expressive art. Maranda is drinking: Bonterra Rose Kimberly is drinking:  Ampelos 2015 Pinot Noir (Lambda: the magnitude) Read Maranda's channels. See Kimberly's art collaboration with Janis Joplin
August 19, 2020
Earth as a Game Board - Catsuits and Yachts in the Mediterranean
Game Theory, Twin Flames and Gamemasters Hinduism and Leela Prime Events and timelines hooking up Meeting prior to incarnation in preparation for the Earth Game Kimberly's Life between Life session, and Maranda's QHHT session Playing roles on the Game Board -  Dark vs Light Mars and Maldek blowing up, and Mars-Neptune aspects How subtle the Higher Self is when it speaks.  No yelling! Truman in the Control Room Maranda's Game Board:  Barbie on the Yacht in the Mediterranean Kimberly's Game Board:  Catsuits, Double Agents and Orion Galactic History Former Orion inhabitants who still like to fight - movie lovers, actors and gamers Kimberly's B&D headshots in New Orleans Choosing costumes on the Game Board once you know you're there Possibilities available on the Game Board -- all of them! ----- Maranda is drinking:  Rose cider - Virtue Cider Kimberly is drinking:  Frey's Biodynamic Mendocino Red Check out Maranda's blog  Check out Kimberly's YouTube channel
August 13, 2020
Lion's Gate...and Not Really Knowing What That Means
Change...and how we beg for it, but freak out when it actually comes. Kimberly's misinterpreted landlord letter that sent her into a moving tizzy. Maranda's assistance in finding the perfect house---for another family. The final answer to when your Twin Flame will show up. Kimberly's conversation with a newborn. Aquarius, Uranus and how resisting change can send you surprises. Fashion while quarantined. Collective:  Fears being addressed and codes unlocked. Not so awake family members who still cheer you on. Maranda is drinking: Malbec Rosé. Kimberly is drinking:  Grey Goose and Elderberry Lemonade. Read Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Read Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening
August 09, 2020
Elvis, The Pleiadians & The "Right" Way to Wake Up
What is the "Right Way" to wake up? Are you "supposed" to eat meat, or "should" you drink alcohol? Kimberly's life as a Mexican dancer (Pilar) Maranda's Spanish Identity (Pilar) House Numerology: 5 houses vs 9 houses Seeing people that others can't see Women that leer at Truckerlicious men Bucket Lists:  Kimberly's #1 (too dirty to tell)  and the Second Floor of Graceland Elvis and the Pleiades Navigating on a plane where people can't see you Maranda Drinking Kombrewcha Kimberly Drinking Frey Biodynamic Red Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender Kimberly's YouTube Channel
August 08, 2020
5D Spacey in a 3D World, Visiting Hybrid Children, Living Without a Television
Functioning from that Spacey State Maranda's beef with Jesus Journey of Souls books by Michael Newton Maranda's therapy session: Manifesting money Civilized Extraterrestrial societies' barter systems Visiting hybrid children When you don't have a television Maranda's intention to manifest a pair of swans Kimberly's therapy session:  The cleaning lady who thinks she's a witch Visit Kimberly's blog: "Are You Awakening?"  Visit Maranda's blog: "Astro Bartender"
August 06, 2020
5D: Weird With No Frame of Reference
Letting go of old assumptions but nothing to replace them with. Allowing new things to come in without judgment. Superstitions and whether or not you choose to believe in them. Surrender and trusting the Higher Self If “I’m” not in charge...who the hell is?! Maranda explains Leo + the Sun relationship, not knowing how big limitless can be, and why you don't have to know the "why" of everything. Kimberly explains how bird poop leads to a lottery ticket, and how easy it is for humans to believe what comes to them via online feeds without asking if it's true. Replacing negative thought loops with Icons, or images that disrupt the pattern and get you back on the positive side of thinking.  Visit Maranda on IG at @astrobartender Visit Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening at or YouTube
July 26, 2020
Awakening Symptoms: Icky, Annoying & Fun
Here's a preview of the Tipsy Mystics' new podcast.    Grab a cocktail and join Maranda and Kimberly as they discuss the humorous aspects of the awakening process.  You're creating your reality.  Why not have fun?   In this preview episode, the Tipsy Mystics share three types of awakening symptoms:   Icky  Annoying   Fun   Maranda then attempts to explain astrological charts, aspecting planets and archetypes to Kimberly, who remains clueless about such things. Beverages imbibed: Kimberly: 2015 Paxton McLaren Vale AAA Shiraz/Grenache --- in honor of her favorite car.  Maranda: Tequila and Watermelon Kombucha   Visit Maranda on IG @astrobartender Visit Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening at or YouTube (Sound quality is improved in future episodes.)
July 23, 2020