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Toasted Fiction Theatre

Toasted Fiction Theatre

By Toasted Fiction Theatre

Toasted Fiction Theatre is a storytelling anthology podcast created by non-award winning writer Chris Patrick, bringing you stories of all shapes and sizes.

Each episode is written by Chris Patrick (or a special guest writer) and features a brand new story.

Subscribe and listen on whichever platform you get your podcasts and find your next story.
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Currently playing episode

2.6: The Auditors by Chris Patrick

Toasted Fiction TheatreNov 16, 2020

00:00
20:13
2.6: The Auditors by Chris Patrick

2.6: The Auditors by Chris Patrick

In the finale for Series 2, Chris revisits his first short film, produced by Pan Breed Productions, The Auditors.
Mother Nature is real and the world is run like a multi-million pound enterprise and it's losing money. Big time. Auditor's; John Baines and Emma Sykes are brought in to make the relevant cuts. However, Baines has started to question the work they do and is faced with choosing between carrying out the job at hand and what is truly important to him.

Cast:
Baines: John Savage
Sykes: Hayley Bristow
Summer: Craig Anthony-Ralston
Spring: Kerry Browne
Autumn: Erin Donnachie
Winter: Jericho Reid

Song: Blacker Than Blue
Artist: The Grand Opening
Album: Don't Look Back into the Darkness
Licensed to YouTube by: The Orchard Music (on behalf of Tapete Records); LatinAutor, ARESA, BMG Rights Management (US), LLC, and 1 Music Rights Societies
Nov 16, 202020:13
2.5: A Mad, Mad, Mad Monday Night by Chris Patrick

2.5: A Mad, Mad, Mad Monday Night by Chris Patrick

Produced by Short Attention Span Theatre

Written by Chris Patrick Performed by James Keenan Directed by Daniel Gee Husson

“Get a cat they said, it’ll be nae hassle they said.” It’s a Monday night during the Summer of 2016. The Euros are on, the hoose is quiet and Dave has a cup of tea in hand. It’s a cracking night – until the neighbour knocks the door with news about the cat.

www.chrispatrickwriter.com

www.shortattentionattentionspantheatre.co.uk



Nov 09, 202009:16
An Update on Series Two

An Update on Series Two

An Update On Series Two of the Podcast. What the hell happened!?
Nov 03, 202008:02
2.4: Para Handy & The Baker's Little Widow by No Nonsense Productions

2.4: Para Handy & The Baker's Little Widow by No Nonsense Productions

Toasted Fiction Theatre presents a No Nonsense Production of Para Handy: A Radio Play (Not) On Stage. A radio play not on stage (on podcast) adaptation of Neil Munro's classic Para Handy tales. The Master Mariner, Dougie the Mate, MacPhail the Engineer and Sunny Jim along with a host of other characters take to the airwaves courtesy of three plucky radio actors. This week's episode is The Baker's Little Widow. Adapted, directed by and starring Kevin Jannetts, along with Calum McVittie & Stewart Phillips. Check out all things No Nonsense Productions on social media @nononsensepro and their website www.nononsenseproductions.co.uk Subscribe, share and leave a review/rating of the Toasted Fiction Theatre podcast. Get in touch with us @toastedfictiontheatre or through e-mail on toastedfictiontheatre@gmail.com You can also support the show via our Patreon page www.patreon.com/toastedfictiontheatre with as little as £1! Created by Chris Patrick Series Two produced by Chris Patrick & Ross Patrick For all more content, including sketches and books, head to www.chrispatrickwriter.com
Jun 05, 202018:42
2.3: Para Handy & The Malingerer by No Nonsense Productions

2.3: Para Handy & The Malingerer by No Nonsense Productions

Toasted Fiction Theatre presents a No Nonsense Production of Para Handy: A Radio Play (Not) On Stage.

A radio play not on stage (on podcast) adaptation of Neil Munro's classic Para Handy tales.

The Master Mariner, Dougie the Mate, MacPhail the Engineer and Sunny Jim along with a host of other characters take to the airwaves courtesy of three plucky radio actors. This week's episode is The Malingerer

Adapted, directed by and starring Kevin Jannetts, along with Calum McVittie & Stewart Phillips.

Check out all things No Nonsense Productions on social media @nononsensepro and their website www.nononsenseproductions.co.uk

Subscribe, share and leave a review/rating of the Toasted Fiction Theatre podcast. Get in touch with us @toastedfictiontheatre or through e-mail on toastedfictiontheatre@gmail.com

You can also support the show via our Patreon page www.patreon.com/toastedfictiontheatre with as little as £1!

Created by Chris Patrick

Series Two produced by Chris Patrick & Ross Patrick

For all more content, including sketches and books, head to www.chrispatrickwriter.com

May 28, 202017:46
2.2: Para Handy's Apprentice by No Nonsense Productions

2.2: Para Handy's Apprentice by No Nonsense Productions

Toasted Fiction Theatre presents a No Nonsense Production of Para Handy: A Radio Play (Not) On Stage.

A radio play not on stage (on podcast) adaptation of Neil Munro's classic Para Handy tales.

The Master Mariner, Dougie the Mate, MacPhail the Engineer and Sunny Jim along with a host of other characters take to the airwaves courtesy of three plucky radio actors. This week's episode is Para Handy's Apprentice. 

Adapted, directed by and starring Kevin Jannetts, along with Calum McVittie & Stewart Phillips.

Check out all things No Nonsense Productions on social media @nononsensepro and their website www.nononsenseproductions.co.uk


Subscribe, share and leave a review/rating of the Toasted Fiction Theatre podcast. Get in touch with us @toastedfictiontheatre or through e-mail on toastedfictiontheatre@gmail.com

You can also support the show via our Patreon page www.patreon.com/toastedfictiontheatre with as little as £1! 

Created by Chris Patrick

Series Two produced by Chris Patrick & Ross Patrick


For all more content, including sketches and books, head to www.chrispatrickwriter.com


May 21, 202017:53
2.1: The Lost Soul of Captain Willis by Chris Patrick

2.1: The Lost Soul of Captain Willis by Chris Patrick

Captain Humphrey Willis isn’t a regular hero, not with a name like that, but today he needs to be. 

When the mysterious shadow people take the love of his life hostage, Captain Willis must sail alone into their world of darkness, strangeness and things unseen in order to save her and get their life back.

She saves him everyday, he needs to save her just once. But can he?

Alternative Tagline: “Captain Willis, requesting safe passage…"

Written by Chris Patrick, based on the short story The Shadow People Won't Take Us Alive from the writer's short story collection The Shadow People Won't Take Us Alive & Other Lost Souls

Performed by Paul Kozinski as Captain Humphrey Willis

Additional Performance by Chris Patrick as Radio Operator

www.chrispatrickwriter.com for more info and other content by the writer

May 15, 202023:44
0.0: Toasted Fiction Theatre Series Trailer
May 06, 202001:10
1.14: Full Stop by Christopher Patrick

1.14: Full Stop by Christopher Patrick

Full Stop by Christopher Patrick Performed by Colin Little, Hazel Ann Crawford, Kirsty Strain & Charlie Graham. When Jake loses his wife he does what all grieving husbands would do. Buys cheap whiskey and hides in his attic from the in-laws. Will his sister and best friend be able to convince him to come down? And will they have to put up with his wife's family for much longer? The only thing worse than death is dealing with the family in the aftermath. Thankfully, attics were built for hiding.
Jul 28, 201822:35
1.13: Pulse by Julie Tsang

1.13: Pulse by Julie Tsang

An interrogation inside. A missing female outside. A stranger is being interrogated by the police. There is evidence he did it. But what happens when the so called bad guy turns out to be further from the truth. Pulse is a moving tale of loss, friendship and a heartbeat. Performed by Colin Little & Cameron McGarva.
Jul 28, 201816:45
1.12: Responsible by Eve Nicole

1.12: Responsible by Eve Nicole

Sam is excited but nervous to leave school and become A Proper Grown Up. She thinks her fun, youthful English teacher, Emma, has got life sorted. But Sam knows little about her private life. Emma hasn’t never really grown up. Comforting herself with Monster Munch and kids’ cartoons, Emma resists embracing her new obligations as a teacher. Sam flatters Emma’s fragile self-esteem, but Emma’s returned attention pulls them into a risky relationship that will challenge their ideas of what it means to be an adult. Growing up can put years on you. Performed by Hazel Ann Crawford, Megan Hair & Kirsty Strain
Jul 28, 201812:14
1.11: Life After Birth by Hayley Bristow

1.11: Life After Birth by Hayley Bristow

Patrick ponders the meaning of his life and what might lie ahead after his time in the womb while his brother Stewart takes each day as it comes with no expectations of what the future holds. Their opposing personalities and constant bickering seeing the twins gasping for air as they try to untangle the mess they’ve created……before it leads to fatal consequences. Will there be life after birth for the boys? “You’ve always been on that side, and I’ve always been on this side. Let’s change it up, live a little!” Performed By: Colin Little, Charlie Graham & Cameron McGarva
Jul 28, 201819:28
1.10: Why I Want To Drink With Boris Johnson by C.McMillan

1.10: Why I Want To Drink With Boris Johnson by C.McMillan

Why I Want To Drink With Boris Johnson or The Entirely Predictable Trials of Being by C.McMillan A broken hearted writer sits down with a pen to rid his pain and right the world. However, he quickly realises he may not know how to do either. In fact, he barely even knows if he can write; it could all be a bunch of tat with some cool one liners. Who knows? "I'm struggling to remember the last time I had a good idea. Other than the whisky in the morning that is. That was truly inspired." Performed by: Cameron McGarva Produced & Directed by: Christopher Patrick Recorded by: Keiran Lowrie Tech: Ian Swinscoe
Jul 28, 201812:39
1.9: Expecting by Alice Cairns & Mary Trend

1.9: Expecting by Alice Cairns & Mary Trend

'Expecting' explores a woman's struggle to come to terms with her pregnancy against the busybody backdrop of a woman's discussion forum. Despite the advice of other smug expectant mothers, Beth feels isolated and unusual. She remains haunted by a memory that distorts the way she sees her own pregnant body. An expectant mother struggles with a haunting memory. Performed by Kirsty Strain Written by Alice Cairns & Mary Trend
Jul 28, 201813:29
Quick Bites - Holy Hangover by Chris Patrick

Quick Bites - Holy Hangover by Chris Patrick

A blink and you'll miss it short sketch about God with a hangover recorded by Neil John Gibson & Kirsty Strain.
Jul 28, 201802:35
1.8: Ratins' by Christopher Patrick

1.8: Ratins' by Christopher Patrick

The Mackenzie’s are living the high life as Scotland’s most famous reality TV family with their show, Keepin’ Up Wae The Mackenzie’s taking the top spot every year. However, when the show takes a big dip in ratings the producers put into a place a desperate plan to get them back on top…… All it’ll take is a little bit of convincing, and a designer vagina or two. Ye cannae choose you’re family…..but ye can choose what channel yer oan. If The Broons met The Kardashians, it would be a little something like this. Written By: Christopher Patrick Produced & Directed By: Christopher Patrick Performed By: Charlie Graham, Cameron McGarva, Kirsty Strain, Hazel Ann Crawford, Colin Little & Megan Hair Sound Recorded By: Keiran Lowrie Tech: Ian Swinscoe Recorded live on the 29th September 2016 at the Beacon Arts Centre, Greenock. Series 1 of Toasted Fiction Theatre is supported by Inverclyde Placed Partnership, Beacon Arts Centre & Emerge. Twitter: @toastedfiction
Jul 28, 201835:30
1.7: Guffy by Glenna Scaachi

1.7: Guffy by Glenna Scaachi

Guffy is a guttural allegorical tale of the state of our nation. Guffy is a Scottish lass born and bred in Alloa. Present. Alba is the elderly Scottish woman that bred her. Past. The bairn is but a few months old bred by them both. Future. They co-exist at the bottom end of Alloa. “If yer frae the Bottom End ye dinnae get oot” Writer: Glenna Scaachi Performed By: Karen Bartke, Kirsty Strain & Cameron McGarva Produced By: Toasted Fiction Theatre Directed By: Christopher Patrick
Jul 28, 201819:52
1.6: Echoes & Jigsaw Until The Sea by Heloise Thual

1.6: Echoes & Jigsaw Until The Sea by Heloise Thual

Echoes And Jigsaw Until The Sea Written By Heloise Thual In a house which echoes aren’t her own, Lily can hear her Mum playing “Truth Or Breath” every night in the bathroom. Maybe if Lily completes her jigsaw before her Mum ran out of breath, she will be invited to play the game too. Mum now spends her nights in the bathroom.Playing some kind of game.Truth or Breath. Breath or Truth. Produced and Directed by Christopher Patrick Performed by Karen Bartke, Neil John Gibson, Cameron McGarva & Kirsty Strain.
Jul 28, 201819:12
1.5: The Vultures by Chris Patrick

1.5: The Vultures by Chris Patrick

The Vultures | Written By Christopher Patrick Mary and June are The Vultures. A pair of wedding, christening and birthday party crashers who fancy themselves as Scotland’s answer to Thelma and Louise, but with greyer hair. However, when they decide to crash a wake in a bid for some ‘Scran’, they’re forced to have a look at their own mortality and question how they choose to spend the remainder of their time. Performed By Karen Bartke & Kirsty Strain Recorded Live at The Beacon Arts Centre on the 7th of July 2016
Jul 28, 201812:16
1.4: Murder On The S.S. Dreamer by Jack Craig

1.4: Murder On The S.S. Dreamer by Jack Craig

Murder On The S.S. Dreamer

Written By

Jack Craig

Told through recovered voice logs left mostly by Captain Morgan, this story tells the tale of a small group of cosmonauts sent to explore the deep reaches of space as they are caught in a murder plot.

When the body of psychologist Lea Schauffer is found strangled, Captain Morgan must find out who killed her and quickly. The murderer leaves taunting voice messages on his computer. Mistrust is growing fast among his crew, threatening the survival of everyone on board. But Captain Morgan is not a man to be underestimated. He will find the killer. No matter what.

1 crew. 1 murderer. 70 billion miles from home.

Performed by Neil John Gibson, Colleen Garrett, Karen Bartke and Charlie Graham.
Jul 28, 201831:26
1.3: Hymn by Amy Claire Shearer

1.3: Hymn by Amy Claire Shearer

Hymn

Written By Amy Claire Shearer

"What do you do when everyone is telling you one thing, but he is telling you another?"

Grandmothers are always right. Especially when they were Suffragettes. But, what happens when everyone else disagrees and she isn't there anymore? You turn to the one person who understands. Who gets you. Who wants you to be with him. You might be fighting a different cause from your beloved Grandmother - but this time it's in his name.

erformed By Karen Bartke and Colleen Garrett.

Produced and Directed by Christopher Patrick.

Tech: Kieran Fitzpatrick, Keiran Lowrie and Calum McMillan

Recorded Live at The Beacon Arts Centre, Greenock on the 31st March 2016.
Jul 28, 201815:07
1.2: The First Act by Annie Lowry Thomas

1.2: The First Act by Annie Lowry Thomas

The First Act

Written By

Annie Lowry Thomas

Two actresses attend an audition with a twist. A play within a play, The First Act is an exploration of our everyday performances and the characters we choose to present.

Performed By Colleen Garrett, Karen Bartke and Neil John Gibson.

Produced and Directed by Christopher Patrick.

Tech: Kieran Fitzpatrick, Keiran Lowrie and Calum McMillan

Recorded Live at The Beacon Arts Centre, Greenock on the 31st March 2016.
Jul 28, 201810:30
1.1: Fools On A Hill by Chris Patrick

1.1: Fools On A Hill by Chris Patrick

Fools On A Hill

Written by

Christopher Patrick

Hammer. Nails. Crucifix. Co-Codamal. This is bound to end well.

Not satisfied with the direction the world is heading, two Christians take it upon themselves to start spreading the word of God again and put the world to rights the only way they know how – a good old fashioned crucifixion.

You can now support the podcast through Patreon!
www.patreon.com/toastedfiction

So please, if you like what we do here, pledge as little as $1 a month (80p fellow Scots and UK people) and it means we can bring loads more Toasted Fiction Theatre episodes to you

Performed by Neil John Gibson and Charlie Graham.

Produced and Directed by Christopher Patrick.

Tech: Kieran Fitzpatrick, Keiran Lowrie and Calum McMillan

Recorded Live at The Beacon Arts Centre, Greenock on the 31st March 2016.
Jul 28, 201821:60