Purposely Thriving Podcast
By Tonya Carter
Purposely Thriving PodcastAug 10, 2021
166. Becoming The Best Mom You Can Be: My Top Six Insights!
Motherhood is a multifaceted journey that encompasses a variety of roles, experiences, and emotions. Striking a balance between family, work, and personal needs can be quite demanding.
So, what happens when divorce is added to the mix? For mothers facing this change, their children's well-being and their ability to parent effectively in this new situation become major concerns.
Worries about not doing enough, overextending themselves, and comparing themselves to other parents can lead to mom guilt, resulting in overwhelm, doubt, increased stress, fatigue, burnout, and exhaustion.
Oftentimes this area of motherhood goes unchallenged, causing us to not redefine what motherhood can be and look like. We adopt beliefs and outdated narratives that can keep us stuck in old patterns that may no longer serve us or our children. This can hinder our ability to grow as parents and individuals. By questioning these assumptions and embracing a new, more authentic approach to motherhood, we can better navigate this journey and create a nurturing environment that supports both our children and ourselves.
Tune in to this week's podcast as I share my top six insights on motherhood and tips for becoming the best you can be.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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165. Four Key Approaches to Protect Your Mental Health During a Divorce
Navigating the divorce process can significantly affect your mental health. The legal proceedings, financial changes, shifts in living situations, custody and co-parenting arrangements, lifestyle adjustments, and changes in social circles can all contribute to persistent stress and impact a person's quality of life for a period of time.
This can trigger anxiety, depression, and potentially harmful coping strategies, which can intensify mental health issues and hinder your progress.
In this week's podcast, join me as I talk about the potential mental health challenges during a divorce and explore four ways to protect your mental health during this time.
Playback episode #112 "How Can I Be Grateful In A Season of Uncertainty" by clicking here
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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164. Are You Self-Sabotaging? How to Identify and Four Steps to Break Free
It's natural to want something better for your life, but what happens when you're faced with the challenge of pursuing it?
Do you make excuses for why you can't achieve it?
Do you focus on what's wrong out of fear for yourself?
Do you convince yourself not to try?
Do you withdraw as a means of self-protection?Do you resist embracing change?
Do you revert to familiar patterns?
Following a divorce, self-sabotage can become a real concern. Making better choices, nurturing healthier relationships, forgiving yourself, embracing change, and seizing new opportunities can feel unattainable when your life takes an unexpected turn.
You may feel powerless and uncertain about the future, leading you to stay stuck in a past chapter of your life instead of embracing a new path forward.
How can someone break free from self-sabotage?
Join me on this week's podcast as I discuss ways you may be self-sabotaging your life after a divorce or breakup, along with four steps to help you move forward.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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163. Your Questions Answered: When Your Partner of 31 Years Decides To Depart
"Moving On" can be much harder than it sounds, specifically when dissolving a partnership of 31 years. The process to disentangle yourself can be emotionally and logistically challenging, compounded by the weight of shared history and intertwined lives.
After spending the majority of your adult life with someone, picking up the pieces and creating a new one can seem dauting, overwhelming and uncertain.
On this week's podcast, join me as I answer a question from an email I received from someone in regards to her partner leaving after being together for 31 years. Throughout the episode, I address three pivotal questions essential for her journey forward, offering guidance to navigate the complexities of her situation and facilitate her path to healing and growth.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! Post-Divorce/Breakup Healing: 3 Essential Inner Work Practices
When you hear things such as:
- You need to heal OR
- You need to do your inner work
You could be left to wonder "What does that mean?", "What does that look like for me?"
And when you're unsure on what it means, it becomes ignored due to the lack of understanding on why this is necessary and how it can enhance your quality of life.
Although everyone's journey of doing their own inner work looks different, there are similar activities that "inner work" involves for anyone.
On this week's podcast, join me as I discuss what "inner work" is, ways to identify if you need to start your inner work, as well as three main activities that apply to anyone.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! Trailblazing Forward: 3 Important Things to Remember After Divorce/Breakup
As women, no matter the role or position you're called to fill...we celebrate you!
From our mothers, our sisters, our leaders, our educators, those in healthcare, to entrepreneurship, athletics, politics, etc...your significance is acknowledged!
The month of March is dedicated to honoring the bravery and contributions of women, spanning from the past to the present, who have paved the way for today's generation of women.
Understanding the history of recognizing the contributions that women have made encourages our current and future generations to mirror that success in a way to blaze their own trails.
In this week's podcast episode, join me in a conversation about forging your own path and explore three crucial factors on how to initiate this journey.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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162. Choosing Myself in Divorce: A Journey of Parenting Four Kids, One with Autism, While Being a Caregiver and Managing Two Jobs w/ Kaysha Griffin
Women are known for wearing multiple hats. From motherhood, marriage, working, taking care of the home, and being there for others selflessly. However, what gets lost in all of those roles is herself.
When an life-altering event such as divorce takes place, the need to advocate for your well-being takes more of a back seat. The default setting shifts to autopilot, and survival mode becomes the new normal.
While conventional wisdom advises self-care, the question arises: How is that possible when managing so many roles in your life?
In this week's podcast episode, join me for a conversation with one of my past clients as we discuss the importance of advocating for herself after the dissolution of her marriage of 13 years, raising four children (one with autism), how to effectively manage a challenging custody battle, being a caregiver and working dual jobs.
To apply for the T.H.R.I.V.E program, please click here! Classes start 3/12!
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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161. Being Misaligned In My Marriage, Breaking Free of People Pleasing, & Becoming Liberated from Perfectionism w/ Jernise Young
What often goes unnoticed is the significance of sharing core values when making the decision to get married. While people are frequently advised on various aspects, such as societal expectations, fear of loneliness, or the notion that one's identity is solely defined by relationship status, the crucial factor of alignment in values tends to be overlooked.
These misleading influences can lead individuals to engage in relationships that lack the essential foundation of shared values. Consequently, people may find themselves compromising their authentic selves and entering into marriages that feel forced or incompatible. Recognizing and addressing the importance of aligning values can help individuals make more informed and fulfilling decisions about their partnerships, fostering relationships built on mutual understanding, respect, and shared aspirations.
In this week's podcast episode, join me for a conversation with one of my past clients as we discuss the dissolution of her marriage of two years, marital misalignment, struggles with people-pleasing, and the impact of perfectionism.
To apply for the T.H.R.I.V.E program, please click here! Classes start 3/12!
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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160. Thriving Beyond Divorce: 3 Key Insights
One of the most challenging yet essential pieces of wisdom when navigating life after a marriage or relationship is envisioning a brighter future for yourself and your children.
Divorces and breakups reshape the trajectory of your life, disrupting carefully laid plans. However, it is crucial to recognize that these changes, though difficult, offer opportunities for personal growth and the creation of new possibilities.
Join me on this week's podcast, as I discuss three key insights about the transformative effects of living beyond divorce and the positive impact it can have on your life.
Register for my five day Beyond The Breakup Workshop that starts February 26th by clicking here!
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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159. Your "Single" Season: 4 Essential Pieces of Advice
The perception of "being single" is frequently clouded by misconceptions, including judgment, pity, and the misguided belief that there must be something wrong with an individual in this status. Society commonly presents being in a relationship as the ultimate accomplishment to validate one's significance in the world. This is a poor representation of many individuals who are single however feels "less than" because they are. What often goes unnoticed is the importance of embracing the unique aspects of oneself and recognizing the sacredness of this phase of life.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I discuss how to shift your perspective on being single. I'll be offering four pieces of advice to navigate and appreciate this unique season of life.
Register for my five day Beyond The Breakup Workshop by clicking here:
Checkout last week's episode: "Navigating Valentine's Day After a Divorce/Breakup: 5 Helpful Tips"
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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158. Navigating Valentine's Day After a Divorce/Breakup: 5 Helpful Tips
Valentine's Day can pose challenges for those who have gone through a divorce or breakup. It can be a reminder of the memories you've shared, a shift in your relationship status, to even feelings of perceived failure accompanied by emotions of disappointment, sadness and loneliness.
In this week's podcast episode, join me as I discuss five helpful tips on managing Valentine's Day after a divorce/breakup.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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157. Why Women Initiate Divorce More: My Top Four Observations
Research reveals that a significant 70% of divorces are instigated by women. While common discussions often attribute this trend to notions of women not needing a partner or seeking independence, the underlying data suggests a more nuanced reality. The decision for women to end their marriages is complex and varies from person to person, yet there are shared reasons that resonate across the spectrum.
In this week's podcast episode, I'll discuss the top four reasons why women often take the lead in initiating divorces, going beyond surface-level explanations. Join me as we explore the multifaceted dynamics influencing women's decisions to dissolve their marriages more frequently than men.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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156. Strategic Endings: 3 Crucial Questions to Ask
Contrary to what many may believe, your divorce is a big deal. It's not about dwelling in shame, guilt, or a sense of failure, but rather acknowledging the profound impact it can have on various aspects of your life. Some downplay its significance while other remain in so much criticism that there's no room to identify what steps can be taken next. It's pivotal to navigate this phase with self-awareness and openness to understand the path forward for personal growth and recovery.
On this week's podcast, join me as I present three questions to determine whether you need a strategy and a eye-opening exercise that can help you gain clarity on your situation.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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155. A Year From Now: 3 Questions For Moving On After Divorce/Breakup
2024 is here and although January is known for new beginnings, it's also the closing of many marriages/relationships. Yet, what often goes unnoticed is the crucial importance of actively progressing forward and leaving the past behind. The dissolution of a marriage or relationship can significantly impact your psychological well-being, potentially influencing your self-perception, emotional state, and mental health.
Once the decision is made that it's in the best interest of both parties to part ways, the key is the intentional effort to move forward. Join me on this week's podcast episode as I provide three essential questions for you to contemplate, ensuring that you navigate the path forward after a divorce or breakup this year.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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154. Navigating the Holidays After Divorce: 5 Essential Tips for Parents
The holiday season after divorce can bring much added stress and overwhelm for both parents and children. Moving away from established traditions towards new arrangements can trigger a range of emotions including loneliness, sadness and anxiety.
A primary concern for parents remains centered on safeguarding their children's welfare. Providing reassurance, emphasizing emotional stability, and preserving a sense of normalcy are paramount during this period of transition. Although it may seem unrealistic, it's crucial to remember that small steps can make a significant difference.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I give five essential tips for parents, guiding them through a smoother journey during the holiday season.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! "Three Approaches of Being Thankful In a Season of Uncertainty"
The attitude that a person should just be grateful even in difficult times can become burdensome due to the current conditions that they're in.
When a person is "forcing" themselves to just be grateful it strips away the genuineness of it's authentic purpose.
Does this indicate to not be grateful? of course not! However, in displaying gratitude even in seasons of difficulty, the trade off shouldn't be to avoid what's going on around you and within you.
On this week's podcast, join me as I give three things you must do to cultivate authentic gratitude without emotional avoidance.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! "Overcoming Tiredness After Divorce: Three Transitioning Tactics"
Feeling worn out? Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained? Divorces or breakups often usher in a level of exhaustion that leaves you functioning on autopilot, unable to fully engage with life and struggling with hope for the future. You might experience a sense of emptiness, your thoughts and emotions scattered, grappling with uncertainty about what lies ahead.
This weariness can manifest as mental fatigue, emotional numbness, and spiritual depletion. Over time, it might evolve into depression, isolation, bitterness, cynicism, a negative outlook, and even regret.
In this week's podcast episode, Join me as I share three essential steps to transition out of this period of exhaustion and uncertainty.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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153. Overcoming the Feeling of Failure After Divorce: Three Key Reminders to Move Forward
Experiencing a sense of failure and the belief that you've disappointed your loved ones is a common emotional response during a divorce. However, when these feelings become a lasting, permanent emotional state, it can develop a unhealthy self-perception about an individual resulting in self-sabotage, fear, a loss of trust, and even a pervasive pessimistic outlook.
Persisting in this state of perceived failure can drain your motivation and result in a feeling of defeat, making it challenging to move forward. It's crucial to acknowledge that while feeling like a failure is a natural initial response, allowing it to persist can harm your self-image and set you on a downward spiral of self-criticism, shame, guilt, and a victim mindset. On this weeks podcast, join me as I discuss three important reminders to move past this feeling of failure.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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152. T.H.R.I.V.E & Date With Purpose After Divorce - Podcast Interview w/ Sade Curry of Dating After Divorce Podcast
Reentering the dating scene is a familiar concept for those going through the divorce process. Yet, putting yourself out there encompasses more than just meeting new people; it's fundamentally about your internal state.
The process of divorce inevitably transforms you but the key question is how it transforms you? Despite the societal and cultural emphasis on dating, when considering post-divorce dating, the focus should be on approaching it with intentionality rather than allowing pain to steer the course.
On this week's podcast, join me as I was interviewed with Sade Curry, host of Dating After Divorce Podcast as we discuss taking a pause on dating to discern, how your core values impact how you date, and the importance of how you internalied your singleness as it influences your dating decisions.
Follow Sade on IG: @sadecurry
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
Click here to submit any topics that you're interested in hearing on the podcast
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Re-Aired Episode! "Five Relationship Types to Stay Away From"
There are just certain types of relationships that should be avoided at all costs! When you decide to "entertain" someone, you're giving them your time, energy and other resources which overtime results in constant investing of a relationship.
It's important to be mindful and considerate of who gets that level of access to you because the person that you choose to entertain impacts the quality of your life.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I give five types of relationships that you should avoid entertaining!
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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151. Walking Away Strong: Leaving My Abuser and Reclaiming My Life w/ Janelle Hunt
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month which aims to raise awareness, support survivor's, break the silence and work towards the prevention and elimination of domestic violence in all its forms.
Domestic Violence can be physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and/or spiritual.
These patterns are designed to manipulate, isolate, frighten, terrorize and hurt someone in ways that will leave lasting scars, both visible and invisible. By the time, the victim has the courage to leave, the after effects such as depression, self-esteem, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress can continue to impact their lives.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I engage in a conversation with Janelle Hunt. She shares her personal journey of leaving an abusive relationship after seven years, discussing the importance of forgiveness, the cycle of generational abuse, and practical steps to break free from an abusive partnership.
Follow Janelle on Instagram: @thejanellehunt
Register for Janelle's Workshop here: https://restoringthekingdominyou.com
Purchase Janelle's Book here: https://www.madeonwhatiknow.com/
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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150. The Journey To Your Best Self After Divorce/Breakup: Four Key Steps
When divorces/breakups take place, being your "Best Self" is a common objective. However, what can get overlooked is the transformative steps required to make this happen.
In this week's podcast, join me for a conversation as I discuss essential elements for becoming the best version of yourself in the aftermath of a divorce or breakup.
"Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! "Coping With Relational Hurt and Betrayal: Four Strategies to Recover After Divorce or Breakup"
When someone you love hurts you, so much gets processed internally:
• The disbelief and shock of it all
• Your self-esteem gets compromised
• An overwhelm of shame, guilt, and/or self-blame
• Your perception on relationships and people
The impact of feeling betrayed can begin a wave of questions and emotions regarding themselves, the person who betrayed them, and the entire relationship.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I give four things you need to do to get past hurt and betrayal
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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149. Nurturing Body Confidence: Feeling Safe & Secure In Your Own Skin w/ Jasmyne Reynolds
Your beliefs about your body can determine whether you perceive yourself as deserving or undeserving of love and acceptance.
Influences from movies, media, magazines, and our families have embedded messages that can foster an unhealthy narrative, suggesting that bodies not conforming to societal standards are inadequate and lack appeal. Consequently, individuals may develop eating disorders, consider cosmetic surgery, experience suicidal thoughts, or engage in unhealthy dieting.
The mindset that there exists a single, universal body standard compels people to believe that their bodies are either lovable or unlovable.
In this week's podcast, join me for a conversation with Jasmyne Reynolds, a former bodybuilder and the founder of Black Fitness Mommy. She will share her personal journey towards body confidence after having three children, discuss why women often feel the need to "perfect" their bodies, the unhealthy need to lose weight for their relationships and provide insights on how to cultivate a love for your body starting today.
Follow Jasmyne on IG: @thejasmynereynolds_
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! "Holding On When They're Ready to Let Go"
What happens when one person wants to exit out of the relationship and the other one doesn't?
Even though the logical solution is to respect the other person's decision, it's not always the easiest conclusion to come to when you're the person who wants to work it out.
When you're in this cycle of wanting to make the relationship work while the other one doesn't, you're only keeping yourself in a space of denial, shock and the inability to accept that this has happened so you can continue to forward with your life.
In this episode, join me as I discuss what you need to do when you're the person who doesn't want the relationship to be over.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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148. Your Questions Answered: Choosing Self-Care Over Self-Neglect
When it comes to caring for yourself aka "self-care", its significance can easily diminish when it becomes a trendy buzzword and loses its authenticity. However, in its genuine form, self-care serves as a means to honor and demonstrate self-respect, ultimately enhancing your overall quality of life.
Frequently, self-care is reduced to a method of "treating oneself," where it causes a person to only indulge in occasional and often costly acts. Yet, the essence of self-care transcends these occasional indulgences. It is a daily practice, a lifestyle that encompasses various aspects of your well-being, from your mental and emotional health to your financial stability, physical wellness, relationships, spirituality, social life, and work or business endeavors.
On this week's podcast, join me as I answer a question from one of our podcast listeners who has developed a level of self-neglect due to an ongoing commitment to caring for others.. In this episode, I will discuss three essential insights regarding around self-care and 21 distinct perspectives on how to perceive self-care differently.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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147. Another Year Wiser: Turning The Page After Divorce/Breakup - 10 Ways To Start Celebrating Life
This past weekend, I celebrated another birthday. Every year, I take a moment to contemplate the various factors that have played a role in my personal growth and development. One significant aspect of this reflection is the notion of celebrating life.
Life frequently presents us with disappointments that lie beyond our control. Often, when our carefully laid plans do not unfold as expected, it can limit our perspective concerning ourselves and our future.
As I've matured over the past eight years, my outlook on life has profoundly shaped my self-perception, which in turn has had a direct influence on my actions and choices.
On this week's podcast, I invite you to join me in exploring my birthday reflections and 10 strategies for celebrating life after experiencing a divorce or breakup.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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146. Your Questions Answered: To Date OR Not To Date at 56?
When it comes to dating, specifically after divorce, it involves much more than simply "re-entering the dating scene."
Contrary to what many believe, it takes a lot of courage to step back out in the dating arena when plans to spend the rest of your life with someone has changed.
One of the most complexed and complicated questions is "When will I be ready?". Now although no one can tell you a specific timeframe, a level of personal readiness is essential to approach the dating landscape with greater insight.
On this week's podcast, join me as I answer a question from one of our podcast listeners who currently is 56 and wonders if she should embrace the idea of dating. In this episode, I will address three key aspects to provide clarity to the present challenges surrounding dating that will help assist her in navigating this area of her life.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! "The Habit of Always Trying to Please People"
When the priority becomes pleasing others at the expense of your own well-being and quality of life, it's likely that you've ingrained a tendency toward being a "people pleaser."
This surpasses mere kindness; it has evolved into a pattern where you modify your true self for the sake of others.
Over time, this persistent need to satisfy others transforms into a self-sacrificial inclination, leading to consequences like compromising your core identity, harboring resentment, experiencing stress, facing burnout, and undermining relationships.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I discuss this topic in more detail and the major thing you need to do for gain clarity on where this behavior could stem from.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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145. Your Questions Answered: I'm a Woman Who Cheated...How Do I Move On From The Guilt & Regret?
When someone in a relationship decides to "step out" it violates the relationship's exclusivity as well as jeopardizes the overall well-being of the relationship.
While public conversations about infidelity often revolve around men, what unfolds when a woman finds herself entangled in such actions? Research indicates that approximately 13% to 15% of women engage in infidelity, driven by motivations distinct from those of men.
In this week podcast, I invite you for a listener's Q&A as we discuss a situation where infidelity was involved on the woman's part and how to move past the pain she cause herself and the person she was in a relationship with. Join me as I discuss 3 things that she must do to navigate the aftermath of this decision.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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144. "Situationships"....Save Yourself The Heartbreak
There are many gray areas around entertaining "situationships" a term that is characterized around uncertainty and undefined boundaries. These types of connections can often have a significant impact on individuals both mentally and emotionally. The blurred lines and lack of clear commitment can lead to confusion and unease, potentially causing emotional turmoil.
Although there isn't one "relationship standard" for everyone, it's important to get clear on what works for you and your quality of life.
When you're someone who has difficulty around relational dynamics that lack commitment yet still find themselves entangled in such scenarios, it's important to acknowledge the potential pitfalls that comes with this territory.
On this week's podcast, join me as I discuss the misconceptions around these connections, why people may choose to participate in these relationships even though it leaves them unsettled, as well as four critical questions to ask yourself to help make informed decisions about your emotional well-being and the relationships you invest in.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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Re-Aired Episode! "Managing Trust Issues in a New Relationship"
Expressions like "I don't trust anyone," "No one can be trusted," "Loyalty is scarce nowadays," and "Opening up will only lead to pain" may appear straightforward, but beneath their surface lies profound implications that hinder genuine connections, vulnerability, and living authentically. When an individual has experienced betrayal in the past, it can substantially affect their current and future relationships. Although you yearn for meaningful connections, you find it challenging to embrace authenticity. The desire for profound bonding contrasts with a tendency to withdraw from vulnerability.
Now, the question arises: How can someone rebuild trust after it has been shattered? In this episode, I will delve into three essential aspects that can help you begin the journey of regaining trust again.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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143. You Couldn't Have Saved The Marriage All On Your Own
If you find yourself stuck in a repetitive cycle of mentally and emotionally questioning what you could have done to "save" your marriage, it's essential to ask yourself: Were you inadvertently seeking to play the role of the savior in the relationship?
While it is natural and beneficial to reflect on your past marriage, this introspection can become detrimental if it leads to excessive self-blame and self-criticism due to being overly accountable.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I discuss the burden of assuming the role of a savior in a relationship, three common things that saviors attempt to do to hold the marriage together, and five thought provoking questions that will help you assess your beliefs about how you approach relationships
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
To listen to episode #128 "Are You Loyal To An Extreme?" by clicking here!
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142. Your Ex Is A "Non-Factor" To Your Healing
Contrary to popular belief, your "ex" holds minimal relevance to your journey of moving forward.
Too much credit is given to someone who no longer holds the same level of significance in your life and when that's the case, the focus needs to change. When the decision has been made to dissolve, it's important to be mindful on how much you're giving "life" to this story.
While reflection is important, it is equally essential to avoid excessive rumination on this story, which can hinder your ability to process the experience. Striking a balance between introspection and allowing yourself to move forward is key to embracing personal growth and healing.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I discuss their unimportance in shaping your next chapter, five ways on how this could delay your growth, as well as five thought provoking questions that will help you assess how much energy you may be unintentionally directing towards your ex.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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141. The Power of Releasing the Need for an Apology From Someone Who Hurt You
When we experience harm from others, it is common to expect an apology as a form of resolution. However, it is crucial to understand that while an apology holds power, it should not be a requirement for our own personal progress.
The reality is that some individuals may choose not to apologize, and this decision is often beyond our control. Nevertheless, we have the ability to seek our own closure independently of their apology.
By finding inner strength and embracing our personal healing journey, we can attain closure and move forward in our lives. Instead of depending on external validation through an apology, we empower ourselves to find resolution and growth from within.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I talk about releasing the need for an apology, 10 reasons why someone may resist apologizing, as well as five questions to ask yourself, enabling personal reflection and growth in this area.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com.
Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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140. Accepting and Understanding Their Capacity To Be Unavailable
One of the hardest things to understand, specifically when you were available in your relationship, is coming to terms when the other person wasn't. There are numerous reasons as to why this could be however, what gets many in a cycle of attempting to understand is that they the other person's lack of presence personal to their value.
When you continuously allow this to be the reasoning for someone else's behavior, you give away your ability to move forward as well as undermine your own worth. While it's necessary to seek understanding, it's equally important to recognize that another person's lack of presence does not define your worth or determine your ability to move forward. By continually attributing their behavior to your own value, you perpetuate a cycle of self-doubt and hinder your own progress. It's crucial to separate their actions from your sense of self and focus on your own growth and well-being. Remember that you have the power to define your own worth and create a fulfilling life independent of their presence.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I talk about how to approach this from a different perspective as well as give seven empowering questions to ask yourself.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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139. From Boys To Men: Exploring Male Childhood Trauma & How It Impacts Them As Fathers w/ Shon Hart
According to fatherhood.gov, research studies indicate that children who have involved and loving fathers are more likely to achieve academic success, develop healthy self-esteem, display empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid engaging in high-risk activities such as drug use, school absenteeism, and criminal behavior.
While there is extensive discussion surrounding uninvolved fathers, it is important to recognize that the assumption that absent or uninvolved fathers lack the desire to be present oversimplifies the complexity of their situations.
Various factors from their childhood contribute to the absence or limited involvement of fathers in their children's lives, including experiences of sexual abuse, upbringing circumstances, strained relationships with their biological mothers, and even growing up with absent fathers themselves. It is crucial to understand that acknowledging these factors does not condone or justify their absence but allows us to understand the complexities surrounding fatherhood and to effectively support fathers in becoming more engaged with their children.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I engage in a heartfelt conversation on fatherhood with Shon Hart, author, speaker, & executive director of InvolvedDad.org. Join us as Shon unpacks different types of trauma that men experience during their childhood and how it connects to fathering, the impact of their mother's partners on their lives, their personal relationships with their own fathers, the challenges fathers face in their relationships with the mothers of their children, and the process of reconnection between fathers and their children.
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To purchase his book "Broken Boys Become Broken Men": https://www.shonhart.com/
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138. Redefining Masculinity: Escaping Stereotypes and Embracing Authenticity w/ James Harris
When masculinity is often discussed, the focus on predefined characteristics and expectations overlooks the individuality and complexity of men's experiences.
By reducing masculinity to a narrow definition based on traditional ideals of strength, emotional suppression, dominance, and a reluctance to seek help or support, we limit the potential for men to fully express themselves and navigate their challenges in a healthy and authentic way. This can lead to feelings of isolation, internalized pressure to conform, and an inability to address mental health issues effectively.
It is crucial to recognize that men, like anyone else, are multifaceted beings with a wide range of emotions, vulnerabilities, and strengths. By embracing a more inclusive and expansive understanding of masculinity, we create space for men to explore their identities, seek support, and foster their overall well-being.
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I engage in a conversation with Licensed Mental Health Professional James Harris to delve into the topic of masculinity. Together, we will explore the misconceptions surrounding masculinity and its profound impact on men. We will highlight the significance of liberating oneself from societal and cultural expectations tied to masculinity, encouraging a more authentic and holistic understanding of what it means to be a man.
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To watch YouTube Video "Singe Moms Raising Sons" - https://youtu.be/9b9VSeI7kzQ
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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137. Second Time Around: A Man's Journey From A Shaky 1st Marriage to a Phenomenal 2nd Marriage w/ Quest Green
Studies indicate that second marriages have an even higher rate of divorce than first marriages. When you hear this statistical data, one why think "Why would I get married again if the chances of it ending in divorce are even greater?" However, it's important to consider various factors that contribute to this trend and understand that statistics don't necessarily dictate individual outcomes. While the higher divorce rate in second marriages may seem discouraging, there are several reasons why people choose to embark on this journey once more.
Join me in this week's podcast episode where I have a conversation with Marriage Coach, Quest Green. We will dive into his experience of his 1st marriage of two years, and explore how the absence of shared core values influenced his approach to relationships. He also discussed the personal growth and unlearning he had to undergo, as well as the key elements that have contributed to the success of his 2nd marriage of twelve years and counting.
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136. A Man's Perspective on Navigating Divorce: The Power of Creating Space for Healing and Moving Beyond the Expectation of Forever w/Joseph Wilson
Contrary to popular belief, divorce poses challenges for both men and women. While it is commonly assumed that men handle it better, studies reveal that men actually face greater difficulties in coping with divorce.
Men encounter a range of obstacles, including internal conflicts, emotional pain, identity issues, and heartbreak. Gaining insight and perspective from men is crucial to understanding how the dissolution of their relationships impacts them.
In this week's podcast episode, I invite you to join me in a conversation with Joseph Wilson. We will delve into his personal journey of ending his seven-year marriage, explore the importance of seeking support from his inner circle, shed light on why many men suffer in silence, and discuss topics such as dating and remarriage.
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Re-Aired Episode! "How Heartbreak Affects Your Mental State"
Research suggests that encountering any type of life challenge can affect an individual's mental well-being. Experiencing the loss or termination of a relationship can pose a challenge and potentially impact a person's mental health.
As a relationship dissolves, various aspects such as children, finances, families, friends, time, and memories undergo significant changes.
Neglecting and disregarding your current emotions and thoughts regarding this situation will only delay your healing process and neglect the importance of your mental well-being.
In our latest podcast episode, I invite you to join me for a discussion on the topic of "heartbreak" and its psychological effects.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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135. Breaking Free: Overcoming Guilt About Your Divorce/Breakup - 5 Essential Strategies
When couples split, the emotion of guilt can arise and have a significant impact on both individuals involved. It is natural for feelings of guilt to surface during such a challenging time, as people may question their actions, decisions, or the consequences of the separation. However, it is equally important to recognize that dwelling on guilt may hinder the healing process and prevent individuals from moving forward.
It is essential not to internalize what is known as "unhealthy guilt," where one becomes consumed with excessive blame and self-condemnation. Instead, it is beneficial to cultivate a healthy sense of remorse and focus on overcoming guilt.
On this week's podcast join me as we delve into the emotion of guilt. We will explore various types of guilt you may experience from the dissolution of relationships and five practical strategies to help overcome guilt and move in a better direction.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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134. Rewriting Your Story After Divorce - Podcast Interview w/ Jenelle Tremblett of Ebb & Glow Podcast
Starting afresh after a divorce can be a time filled with emotional challenges and uncertainty. It's completely natural to experience feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, and unsure about what steps to take next. Amidst the complexities of thinking about your children, finances, co-parenting, and establishing a new sense of self, you are also navigating the emotional aftermath of the divorce.
However, within this difficulty lies an opportunity to embark on a new journey and shape a life that resonates with your values and aspirations. Embracing the process of starting over allows you to redefine your direction, rewrite the narrative of your life, and construct a future that brings you happiness, personal growth, and a profound sense of fulfillment.
On this week's podcast, join me as I was interviewed with Jenelle Tremblett, host of Ebb & Glow Podcast as we talked about starting over at 29 with two small kids, dating, forgiveness, and the importance of getting the help.
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Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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133. The Journey of Courage: Walking Away, Navigating Abuse, Forgiveness, & Trusting Yourself to Love Again w/ Jermeika Burks
What gets misunderstood quite often is that it's easy to leave a marriage, however it's one of the most challenging decisions to make even when it was the safest option to choose.
When marriages dissolved all kinds of questions arise. You wonder what's next, you wonder if you made the right choice, and you wonder if you could have done more to save the relationship.
It's a difficult decision to make because it often involves letting go of a significant part of your life and accepting a new reality. In addition, social and cultural norms around marriage can induce feelings of shame or guilt, further complicating the decision to leave.
There's nothing casual about making the choice to leave, if anything it takes courage.
On this weeks podcast episode, join me as I have a conversation with one of my previous clients on dissolving a 14-year marriage, navigating the abuse, forgiveness, redefining motherhood and trusting yourself to love again.
Ready to ignite your growth after a divorce/breakup? Join me for a private interest session! For more information and to apply, please visit at: http://www.imready2thrive.com
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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132. Finding Strength and Resilience: Rebuilding Life After 50 and a 28-Year Marriage w/ Wendy Telatko
"No one gets married to get a divorce"...that's hardly the plan. However, what happens when those plans change? What happens when your life is disrupted in ways that doesn't seem possible to move on?
My client Wendy and I worked together back in 2021 where she was 52 at the time and dissolving a 28 year marriage. The emotional turmoil of infidelity, betrayal and debt weighed heavily on her. She had to sell her home, move out of state, and leave her job to go move in with her sister.
Through hard work, determination, and perseverance, Wendy has been able to purchase a home, pay off her debt, find a better job with higher pay, and cultivate a stronger relationship with her kids. She is now dating again and has the tools and strategies to co-parent in a complicated dynamic.
Throughout the episode, Wendy shares her valuable insights and strategies for anyone facing a similar situation. She emphasizes the importance of taking things one step at a time, focusing on the positive, and having faith that things will work out in the end.
If you're looking for inspiration and practical advice on how to rebuild your life after a major setback, this episode is a must-listen. Wendy's story is a powerful testament to the human spirit and the power of resilience.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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131. Breaking Up and Breaking Free: The Cheat Code to Moving Forward
In many cases, we are not taught how to intentionally move forward after a breakup, even though relationships commonly come to an end.
The way the dissolution of relationships is often viewed can be problematic, as it may not be recognized as a difficulty, setback, or hardship. This can result in negative consequences, such as being left to figure things out alone, using a rebound relationship as a coping mechanism, neglecting self-care, involving children in the conflict, or seeking revenge.
This podcast episode delves into the cheat code for breaking up and moving forward, highlighting the four key components that it requires.
To join me on May 1st for my "Moving On" 5 Day Workshop, please visit http://www.movingonworkshop.com to register!
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
Check out episode #107 - What Does Doing The Inner Work Mean?
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130. Don't Postpone Your Joy
When you're always living in a state of believing that something external must take place in order to have joy, then you're merely going through the motions instead of living a fulfilled life.
Overtime this leads to a life that lacks meaning and purpose, missed opportunities to create memories and connections, and your mental/emotional wellbeing gets compromised.
When you become completely "dependent" on external circumstances to dictate how you always "feel".....you'll find yourself in a constant state of chasing fulfillment from external outlets.
On this week's podcast join me as I discuss the difference between joy and happiness and why choosing joy should be your new way of living and being.
To join me on May 1st for my "Moving On" 5 Day Workshop, please visit http://www.movingonworkshop.com to register!
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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129. Can You Forgive Your Ex? 7 Questions To Ask Yourself
Forgiving your ex can be a difficult but important step in moving on from the past and finding peace within yourself.
Oftentimes, forgiveness can seem pressured, forced, or even rushed where a person doesn't make the choice themselves, they suppress their emotions to even minimizing and ignoring the hurt and pain.
Studies have shown that not forgiving can prevent you from moving forward, compromise other relationships, and be harmful to your mental and emotional wellbeing.
On this week’s podcast, join me as I discuss forgiveness, the perspectives that maybe holding your back as well as seven questions to challenge your thought process around forgiveness.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
Check out episode #117 - The Skill Of Self-Forgiveness Here
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128. Are You Loyal To An Extreme?
Being "loyal" is often a word that many use to define an important quality that people should have however, when "loyalty" becomes the unconditional exchange at the expense of one's own detriment, has the word lost it's true meaning?
Has the expectation of this word become so misused and manipulated where "being loyal" should be at a fault regardless of treatment?
What happens when the quality of being loyal causes you to compromise your boundaries, values and self-respect?
What facts and flaws gets overlooked when blinded by being loyal to this extreme?
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I talk about loyalty, the exchange of being loyal to an extreme and three questions that a person should ask themselves in regards to their belief and behaviors around being loyal.
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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127. Authentic Femininity w/ Adrianna Mason Onubogu
When it comes to dissolving a relationship, a person can easily switch into a state of what looks as protection only be less receiving, less attentive to themselves, as well as the belief that they have to do it all! This approach is normally praised and glorified however, what does it do to a woman and her ability to just "be".
The word femininity in pertaining to womanhood has been a conversation that many have weighed their opinions and thoughts around online. Oftentimes if this attribute is misunderstood, misinterpreted or even misused, it can cause a woman to not step into this powerful quality that is authentic to her.
She often finds herself in what many would define as a "masculine" energy where it may cause her to display less understanding, patience and nurturing.
How can a woman embrace this side of herself that's authentic? How can she lead her home and be in this quality?
On this week's podcast episode, join me as I talk with author & speaker Adrianna Mason Onubogu as she discusses what femininity is, why it's important to embrace this quality for yourself first, how this attribute elevated her life as well as steps you can take to embody your own authentic femininity.
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Adrianna's Website: https://adriannamason.com/
Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCn
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