Transgender Woman Talking
By E.E. Loewen
Transgender Woman TalkingMay 23, 2024
How to Be a Girl (or the Socialization of Gender)
After an unplanned hiatus, Elle talks about the learned nature of gender, how gender is socialized, and the validity of gender and sex being changed and performed. She talks about the reasons we might choose to do gender in different ways, including safety, joy, and internal personality alignment.
Some of the resources and additional materials referenced and recommended from this episode include:
- Abigail Thorn from Philosophy Tube on Judith Butler's Philosophy (ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANCE)
- Dylan Mulvaney - Days of Girlhood
- Lizzo - "Like a Girl"
- Judith Butler and Gender Trouble. Another piece by Judy in a recent NYT article.
- Fucking Harrison Butker and his Sexist Speech
Reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with questions, constructive feedback, and questions.
To learn about what psychotherapy with Elle might look like, please visit her website: https://estherloewen.com/ and click "Therapy".
Tattoos
In this week's installment, Elle talks about a recent tattoo she got commemorating her graduation from therapy school. In addition, she reflects on some of the history and conversation in and around body modifications, including the perjorative accusation of "mutilation". Elle references her tattoo artist, Adrianne Marcella, as well as the work that she got done on her forearm for her transition ceremony in 2022 (read more here).
Please take a minute to send Elle an email at twatpodcasting@gmail.com to ask questions, make constructive suggestions, or name possible guests.
To inquire about psychotherapy with Elle, please fill out a request form on her website at: www.estherloewen.com
Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - A Book Report
On this episode, Elle brings back her book report format, exploring her reactions and thoughts about Taylor Jenkins Reid's masterful novel, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Among the themes included in this monologue are: reflections on allyship, the difficulty of being in the closet, how names and labels for the queer experience have changed over the years, the ways in which the dangers and societal expectations have shifted in even the last 70 years, the importance of feminism, and the fabulous and informative podcast "Bad Gays".
Many thanks for tuning in to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".
Religious Trauma
In this episode of the program, Elle talks about some of her understanding of religious trauma or spiritual abuse. As a former pastor and lifetime member of the Seventh-day Adventist Christian denomination, she resonates very strongly with many of the experiences folks identifying as victims of religious trauma describe. In the program, Elle also reflects on some of her understanding of trauma in general from a therapist's perspective, as well as some of the symptoms that people who have been hurt by religion go through.
Some of the resources mentioned on the episode this week include:
- Sacred Wounds religious trauma support group (Elle leads this weekly with one of her colleagues on Wednesday mornings at 10am on Zoom) - email for the link
- Bessel Van der Kolk - "The Body Keeps the Score"
- Gabor Mate - "The Myth of Normal"
- EMDR Trauma Therapy
- Marcos Torres and the Hunger Podcast on religious trauma / take the quiz here
As always, thank you so much for listening to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com
If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".
Nex Benedict
Nex Benedict was a 16 year old trans child who used he/him/they/them pronouns and lived in Oklahoma outside of Tulsa. Early in February, they were bullied to death in the girls bathroom at school. Before passing, video and text messages were captured from Nex reflecting on the experience of the fight that took his life and the years of harassment and bullying that led up to it. Many folks have been struck by his unjust and untimely passing - including bad actors and bigots like the head of Libs of TikTok who was recently appointed to an Oklahoma position overseeing library books. For most queer folks, however, Nex's killing evokes painful memories about our own traumas -- and the deaths of our queer siblings over the years including especially Matthew Shepherd, Brandon Teena, Brianna Ghey, the Q Nightclub Shooting, The Pulse, O'shae Sibley, and on and on and on.
In this episode, Elle shares her feelings that come up after hearing of Nex's death -- as well as short recordings taken from the Vigil in her town. She finishes the episode with an invitation to take constructive action to push back against the hate.
Some resources shared and mentioned on today's podcast include:
- Therapy with Elle
- "A Warped Version of the Bible Killed NEx Benedict" by Serene Jones
- The work of Kevin Garcia, "Bad Theology Kills"
- The work of Jeffrey Marsh
As always, thank you so much for listening to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com
If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".
Responding to Hate & Judgment
Elle talks about some recent experiences she's had with haters, and how she chose to respond. She reflects on some of the principles she's used in the past (and present) for shaping reactions, offering a matrix of priorities that may arrive in a variety of priorities depending on the situation. The themes and topics addressed in this episode include Nex Benedict's death, verbal and physical threats, intimidation, personal safety, blocking and deleting on social media, attending to self-respect, getting our needs met, fighting for justice, ghosting, reconciliation, forgiveness, intimacy, and leaving good reviews :)
Thank you once again for listening to the program, for your constructive feedback, and encouragement. Continue to send it to twatpodcasting@gmail.com
If you'd like to become one of Elle's clients in therapy, and you are in the state of California, please reach out to her on her website: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".
Interview with Bekki Lorton, Nonbinary Community Organizer
This week's show features an interview recorded some time ago with one of Elle's coworkers at the LGBTQ Center of the Desert in Palm Springs, Bekki Lorton. They are a nonbinary person who shares their experiences on the path of self-discovery and self-love. In addition to doing community work at The Center, Bekki also worked with exotic animals in a zoo. Learn more about Bekki and their work here: https://thecentercv.org/en/about-us/our-people/bekki-lorton/
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If you have a story or insight relevant to the work of Transgender Woman Talking, and would be willing to sit for an interview, please reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
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To learn more about therapy with Elle, please visit her website at: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".
Am I Transgender? (Part 7)
This episode concludes (for now) Elle's series asking the question about gender identity, Am I Transgender? This final episode again will work just fine on its own but will be best absorbed in the context of the previous six (linked below). In it, Elle talks about the Erin in the Morning's fabulous response to a transphobic hit piece published by the New York Times this last week. She also reflects on themes of intersex experiences, HRT as an experiment, the persistence of Gender Dysphoria over the years, and the collective weight of all the little "signs" along the way.
If you have a story or insight relevant to the work of Transgender Woman Talking, and would be willing to sit for an interview, please reach out to Elle at the email address listed below.
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Previous episodes in the series:
Am I Transgender? (Part 1) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender-e1r3df3/a-a8tfsck
Am I Transgender? (Part 2) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-2-e1t0hp9/a-a94fg40
Am I Transgender? (Part 3) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-3-e1v9592/a-a9c8939
Am I Transgender? (Part 4) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-4-e23bj4a/a-a9ouuq2
Am I Transgender? (Part 5) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-5-e26pv66
Am I Transgender (Part 6) -
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-6-e2a637f
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Reach out to Elle at the following email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com with constructive feedback, questions, or connection :)
To learn more about therapy with Elle, please visit her website at: www.estherloewen.com and click on "Therapy".
The Impending Doom
Elle this week reflects on the stress of existing as a trans person (and more generally a minority person) in the world today. She talks about the weight of discouragement and hopelessness that some trans people get covered by, and why it shows up for us. Among other themes, Elle recommends the work by Erin in the Morning who tracks anti transgender legislation in the United States (read with caution because the facts can be depressing). In addition, she references the concept of Minority Stress which is widely considered a significant stress factor by medical providers. She closes with some practical tips for managing the Impending Doom including a recommendation for those who are able to write your representatives (check out this guide).
Elle has therapy openings available!! If you are in the State of California and looking for (or know someone who is) a therapist to work with on a virtual basis, please reach out. Elle is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT#142998), Supervised by Traci Lowenthal, PsyD (CA#22910). She currently accepts private pay only, but has a few sliding scale spots available for those who are in financial difficulty.
As always, Elle welcomes your constructive feedback, questions, and friendly connection. Send your message to twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
Understanding Transgender Identities: Four Views | A Conversation with Christian Educators
In this episode, Elle reflects about a conversation she had with educators and medical providers at Loma Linda University, a Seventh-day Adventist college and hospital in southern california. The table talk itself was not recorded, but Elle brings her report before, immediately after, and in retrospect of what happened. What she had erroneously thought of as an interview or panel discussion prior turned out to be an intimate chat with a group of empathetic educators, many or most of whom were allies. The group is exploring a book published by Baker Academic, exploring four contrasting Christian theological interpretations of transgender identities (link to book). Warning, for people with religious trauma, and for transgender people from Christian backgrounds, this book features some incredibly hostile messaging that could be equated with hate speech. For this reason, Elle cannot recomend it, even though she resonated with Justin Sabia-Tanis' and Megan Defranza's contributions.
Additional recommended resources on the intersection between Christianity and LGBTQ people include:
- Trans-Gender by Justin Sabia-Tanis
- Dazzling Darkness by Rachel Mann
- Transforming by Austen Hartke
- Take Back The Word by Goss and West (out of print)
- Work by Marcella Althous-Reid including Trans/Formations
- Bad Theology Kills by Kevin Garcia
As always, please reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with your constructive feedback and affirmations.
Soon, Elle will be open for seeing clients looking for psychotherapy in the State of California. Stay tuned!
Interview with Wendy Cole
In this first episode of 2024, Elle interviews a fellow transgender sister, Wendy Cole. Wendy is a transition coach and elder in our community. She speaks about her experiences coming out of the closet as a child in the mid 20th century, what life was like for trans people in the 80s and 90s, and how things changed after 2012. Wendy's wisdom and kindness bleed through the whole episode, you're not going to want to miss this one!
Learn more about Wendy Cole, and connect with her on her website: https://wendycolegtm.net/
She also was interviewed by the Huffington Post in the last couple years: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gender-affirmation-surgery_n_5bb3a27be4b0d1ebe0e568f0
Wendy's story is resonant of some of the themes highlighted amongst transgender people in the FX Series Pose (link here).
As always, reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with your constructive criticism, questions, and future guests to interview.
The Voices in Our Heads
Elle talks about the voices of doubt and self-hate and transphobia that rattle around in our heads -- where they may have come from, and how she navigates them in the present. She reflects on a conversation she once had with Rachel Freemon Sowers (of Road to Radical Visibility) about people's projections on us, in addition to her work in the therapy world. Among other themes, this program includes exploration of distorted thought patterns, DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), CBT (cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and trauma work.
Please reach out to Elle with ideas and constructive feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Chosen Families and Survival (Live Lecture from Kinship Kampmeeting)
For this week's episode, Elle shares a lecture she gave for SDA Kinship's 42nd annual Kampmeeting held in Riverside, California. Her lecture was given to a small audience of queer Christians in a hotel conference room. The lecture features her reflections on queer and chosen families, the imperfections amongst families, the ways in which we survive, and how to build thriving communities that can help us love well.
Please reach out to Elle with your constructive feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Interview with Stephanie Kolton from Patchwork
This week on the program, Elle interviews the founder and leader of Patchwork, a network of mutual support communities for and by transgender people. In the episode, Stephanie reflects on her own personal journey with gender, some of the key experiences that shaped her, and what she gives her heart and soul to today. In addition, she also discusses the importance of building networks of love for our survival as transgender people. Learn more about Stephanie's background in crisis support and emergency services, and how these skills have influenced the creation of Patchwork.
https://www.transpatchwork.org/
As always, reach out to Elle with constructive questions or feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
Intersectional Identities
During this episode, Elle reflects on some of her experiences with intersecting aspects of marginalization, as well as with enjoying privilege. She highlights the AWIS map of intersecting oppressions and privileges (click here), as well as similar diagrams from Sylvia Duckworth (click here). She talks about how she grew from dismissing systemic racism as an adolescent to becoming antiracist as an adult. In addition, she also invites a call to action for those of us who enjoy aspects of privilege in our lives today.
Some of the books and ideas mentioned include:
- The New Jim Crown by Michelle Alexander - https://newjimcrow.com/
- Ibram X Kendi's books, "How to be Anti-Racist" and "Stamped" - https://www.ibramxkendi.com/books
- "Trans Like Me" by CN Lester
For this week's show, the question has to do with your commitment to work toward the cause of inclusion and justice. How are you giving yourself to this work today? How would you like to make the world a safer and more beautiful place for all people? What is one way you can commit to the work of justice?
Reach out to Elle with your comments and feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Trans Joy
Mass media portrayals of trans lives can often be downers -- this podcast is no exception. The reality of living as transgender in a transphobic, cissexist, and heterosexist world is that suffering is nearly unavoidable. However, most of us who transition and live our lives authentically do so with the expectation of, and experience of genuine joy. In this episode, Elle discusses some of the ways in which the trans experience has brought her beauty and light.
Please reach out to Elle at the show's email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com - and please share with her your experiences of trans joy.
Am I Transgender? (Part 6)
This episode continues Elle's series asking the question about gender identity, Am I Transgender? This edition stands alone but is probably best absorbed in the context of the previous five (linked below). Elle talks about the spiritual nature of her transition, and how she made sense of it as someone who believes in the divine, the camaraderie she experienced meeting and hearing the stories of other trans people, and the professional medical consensus on her personal case. Additional themes in this episode of Transgender Woman Talking include: support groups, the DSM-V, the WPATH, Kate Bowler and her book "The Lives We Actually Have", conversion therapy or reparative therapy, gaslighting, gatekeeping, code language, and medical procedures.
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Previous episodes in the series:
Am I Transgender? (Part 1) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender-e1r3df3/a-a8tfsck
Am I Transgender? (Part 2) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-2-e1t0hp9/a-a94fg40
Am I Transgender? (Part 3) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-3-e1v9592/a-a9c8939
Am I Transgender? (Part 4) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-4-e23bj4a/a-a9ouuq2
Am I Transgender? (Part 5) - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twatpodcast/episodes/Am-I-Transgender--Part-5-e26pv66
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Reach out to Elle at the following email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com with constructive feedback, questions, or connection :)
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) - Mental Impacts
In this week's episode, Elle tackles a question submitted by a listener about the mental and emotional effects of hormone replacement therapy. Discussions about the physical bodily results of HRT are discussed ad-nauseum on forums like Reddit, but sometimes the subtle impacts that take place between our ears are lost in the shuffle. For many trans people, some of the most palpable changes through transition happen in the mind, and no doubt in part due to hormones therapy.
Because she is transfeminine, this conversation centers on the impacts of progesterone and estrogen on folks assigned male at birth (and not on transmasculine folks who use testosterone). This episode discusses both positive, negative, surprising, and expected results of this regimen, as well as how she received access living in the United States. Some of the topics included are: sexuality and sex drive, emotion regulation, politics and equitable access, second puberty, side-effects, and joy.
As always, please reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com to offer your constructive feedback, and ask questions.
Trans siblings and allies, you are not alone ❤️
This Is How It Always Is - A Book Report
In this week's episode, Elle discusses Laurie Frankel's 2017 book "This Is How It Always Is", now in its second printing from Flatiron Books. The book is a novel about a family with a trans young person, and the trials and travails they all go through navigating a transphobic heterosexist cissexist world. In the episode, Elle discusses some of her reflections on the book, the points that resonate with her own experience and that of her clients. She also talks a little about the pressure that trans people face from cis people to fit into a box, any box whatsoever. The show also explores the experience of validation, and how our human need to feel un-alone may unwittingly press people to self-identify in ways that are ultimately not productive. Finally, she discusses the challenges of parenting; and the ways in which it often ends up being a repeated leap of faith.
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As always, please reach out to the producer/director/host/editor/marketer of Transgender Woman Talking at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Bonus Episode: Elle's Sermon about Confrontation
This episode is a recording of Elle's most recent creative work, a sermon given at Paradox Church in Redlands, a congregation that is enthusiastically affirming of LGBTQ people, anti-racist, and feminist. Elle's friend Craig is the lead pastor of the church and has invited her several times now to speak to the community. Paradox Church follows the Revised Common Lectionary and as such, Elle took her marching orders on the passage for the week from that document. Matthew 18:15-20 was the gospel reading for this week, and as she discusses in the lecture, is fraught with problems over the course of Christian history. In the coming weeks, Elle will follow up on some of these concepts, expanding them specifically for transgender people, and explaining more candidly some of the elements that were left out.
You may also watch a video recording of this lecture at Paradox Church's youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xywt-H0Cr_c
As always, send Elle an email at twatpodcasting@gmail.com. Stay tuned for future full length episodes :)
Righteous Indignation
Elle talks about a small ministry based out of her previous denomination, and some of the harmful messages it espouses about queer folks. She discusses and unpleasant online interaction with former ministry colleagues, and her unvarnished responses to their messages. The episode also touches on the following themes and resources:
- Religious Fundamentalism
- Trusting Your Intuition
- The positive impacts of transition on mental health (see: this article, and this study).
- Gaslighting
- The Film Pray Away, and Exodus International
- Out Love, a book by Julie Rogers
- And the blessing of the divine on queer people of faith
Please reach out with constructive feedback on the show -- as well as your opinions about which new logo draft should be used as the template for the final (click here for options) -- twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
Watch out for the upcoming live recorded episode on YouTube, September 10.
Year in Review
Elle talks about her experience over the course of the last year, publishing Transgender Woman Talking Podcast weekly. She reflects on what she's learned about the weekly discipline of creating, regrets about the past and fears about the future, and hopes for how the program will continue to unfold. In addition, Elle invites some feedback from you both on an upcoming logo change to the show, content in future episodes, guest interview choices, and overall tone. Please take a look at the poll in the Spotify version of this podcast episode. Vote for your opinions on future episodes.
Please visit Elle's website to look at the logo mockups - send her an email with your opinion on the best concept to refine -- www.estherloewen.com/twat-logo
On September 10, a Sunday, Elle will host a live recording of that week's show on YouTube Live. Watch for updates and a marker for the premiere at the Transgender Woman Talking YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/
As always, your constructive feedback and suggestions are coveted. Please email twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
People Pleasing
In this episode, Elle discusses her personality trait of people pleasing, a set of behaviors not uncommon to trans people. She reflects on the sources of this characteristic from her background in religion, and at home, exploring how the interplay of environment and genetics likely produced it. Among other themes, Elle talks about getting our needs met, finding our voice, spinning the truth, losing identity, manspreading, and the Enneagram.
She also discusses an upcoming change in logo for the show. If you have thoughts or feedback on that, or on the program in general, please reach out to: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Barbie: A Review
Elle takes a stab at reflecting on the movie everyone is talking about - and seeing! In the program she discusses the patriarchy, and gender-based hierarchies in general, asking "How does patriarchy affect trans people?" She also explores some of the overt and covert trans themes in the film, and how the experience of femininity and womanhood expressed in the film is shared by her and her trans siblings.
Some of the resources mentioned include:
- Billie Eilish's song "What was I made For?" - watch the youtube music video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW8VLC9nnTo
- An article with Hari Nef and Them Magazine: https://www.them.us/story/hari-nef-barbie-trans-representation
- Another great piece in Collider reflecting on Hari Nef's inclusion and representation in the movie: https://collider.com/hari-nef-barbie/
As always, reach out to Elle with questions or ideas or constructive feedback at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
The Myth of Regret
Elle reflects on the current political conversations surrounding trans people and access to gender-affirming medical care -- which often hinges upon cisgender people's worries about regret. She talks about what the research says about detransition and regret, which is far less common than often portrayed by homophobic haters. Elle discussed and pointed to some excellent work by Lexi Henny (click here) and Erin in the Morning (click here). The most robust published literature review on the subject appears to be by Bustos et al. (2021) - you can read it here on the NIH website.
Reach out at twatpodcasting@gmail.com. And please stay tuned for next week's (on time) show.
What if I have Doubts?
Elle talks about her experience with doubt as it relates to gender identity, and transition. She reflects on the cultural pressures prevailing on trans people to "get it right" as well as the personal consequences that come to us when we pretend to know it all in whatever sense. Some of the themes touched in this episode include: passing as a transgender person, finding partners, cultural gaslighting, incorrect assumptions about trans narratives, TERF ideology, the bimodal spectrum of gender and sex characteristics, lonliness, learning and performing gender, imposter syndrome, Lizzo, and a sermon about doubt. Elle references the following media items in this episode:
- Lizzo's song "Like a Girl" - https://youtu.be/z_xCVttXLm0
- Julia Serano and the Bimodal Spectrum - https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Intrinsic_Inclinations_Model
- A great piece about doubt by an affirming and inclusive theologian, Peter Enns - The Sin of Certainty - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/25816844
- How Beautiful We Were - a novel by Imbolo Mbue - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51794532
Please reach out to Elle at her email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com with constructive feedback and suggestions.
This episode will be available later in the week on the Transgender Woman Talking YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
Am I Transgender? (Part 5)
Elle continues her series, "Am I transgender?", a question most trans people will ask themselves over the course of their lives (and sometimes, rarely, cisgender people as well). In this episode, she talks about three primary themes that are elements of her answer to the inquiry. New dysphoria that emerges after transition begins, Elle's personal sense of mission and its connection to her transition, and the mysterious and even mystical timing of details lining up.
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This episode will be published on the Transgender Woman Talking YouTube channel. Please check the feed this week: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
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Previous episodes in the series:
Am I Transgender? (Part 1) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/bha9xLj2zxb
Am I Transgender? (Part 2) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/p4lEXJj2zxb
Am I Transgender? (Part 3) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/SfBEQOENszb
Am I Transgender? (Part 4) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/eRv9RCdKkBb
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Reach out to Elle at the following email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Disability
Road to Radical Visibility with Rachel Freemon Sowers
This week's episode is a re-broadcast of an interview that Elle gave with Rachel Freemon Sowers, host and producer of Road to Radical Visibility podcast, and marriage and family therapist in California. Learn more about Rachel and her work on her website: https://www.rachelfreemonsowers.com/, on her instagram feed: https://www.instagram.com/rachelfreemonsowers/?hl=en .
Rachel's podcast can be heard on all major feeds. Here's the Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/57vPKJe0Q8Mrx4Hvd6RC4s
Advice to Allies
During this pride month, Elle offers some unsolicited advice to allies (or would-be allies) out there wishing to improve support of their trans loved ones. This episode is a bit of a continuation from the last one where Elle talked with her wife about how spouses navigate having a partner transition. Some of the themes touched on in this episode include pronoun use, the politicization of transgender people, voting, women's spaces, gender-coded activities, makeup, intersecting identities, and talking behind our backs.
Thank you as always for listening, and please reach out to twatpodcasting@gmail.com to connect with Elle and/or offer constructive feedback.
Partners and Spouses of Transgender People (with Elle's wife Paige)
Many of the listeners of Transgender Woman Talking Podcast are cisgender partners of trans people, or other allies. In this week's episode, Elle is joined by her wife of 18 years, Paige, to talk about the experience of a spouse going through transition with their partner. Paige gives advice to cisgender partners out there, and offers some insight and hope on the process. Themes in this episode include relationship dynamics, communication, getting support outside the family, going to therapy, and how transition changes us for the better.
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Some of the resources mentioned in the episode include an interview that Paige did earlier with Esther Lemmons of Fifty Shades of Gender podcast, a remarkable show about gender exploration. Click here: https://www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/paige/
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In addition, once again, Elle is recommending Amanda Jette Knox's book, Love lives here:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/566534/love-lives-here-by-amanda-jette-knox/
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Finally, the two referenced the Code Orange Podcast (Paige's show about healthcare) - Part 1 and Part 2 with Elle talking about her work as a therapist, and Paige's relationship to her.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/7-esther-loewen-transgender-therapy-student-part-1/id1573486174?i=1000568128670
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/8-esther-loewen-transgender-therapy-student-part-2/id1573486174?i=1000570503205
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As always, reach out with comments and constructive feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Pride Month
Elle talks about her experiences with Pride and Pride month. Pride has drawbacks and great benefits, effective effects as well as impotent ones. Recently, a Reddit post discussed some of the disappointments we collectively experience when it comes to pride -- Elle adds her own voice to that conversation. She reflects on the political conversations surrounding trans people currently, including laws championed by Ron DeSantis, abusive relationships, shame and self-respect, spiritual rituals, and creating community. Among other themes discussed in the episode, Elle talks about:
- Transgender History by Susan Stryker
- Past Transgender Woman Talking episodes on Visibility
Email Elle with questions and feedback at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Watch YouTube videos of many of the show's episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
Mad Honey - A Book Report
Elle discusses her personal reactions to the novel "Mad Honey" written by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boyland (click here for Amazon listing). The book was published late in 2022 and has received many positive reviews, as well as some irrational hate by "aNti wOkE" warriors. In the episode, Elle offers her reflections on reading the novel, and ideas that it brought to mind along the way.
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Subjects discussed include:
- Transgender portrayals in the media
- The films Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Crying Game, Silence of the Lambs, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Boys Don't Cry
- Gay Panic Defense: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic_defense
- "Nothing About Us Without Us" and the film Crip Camp.
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As always, your feedback and constructive advice is welcome via email at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com.
Watch the show on YouTube, where many episodes are published in video form: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
Is transition ever complete?
On this week's new episode, Elle reflects on endings, beginnings, graduations, rites of passage, and the nature of change for human beings. This one is out a couple days late due to graduation ceremonies that she participated in over the weekend -- finishing her degree to become a licensed psychotherapist.
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As always, thank you for listening, reviewing, rating, and sending your constructive feedback to: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Should I Transition? (Replay)
This week's episode is the first re-run of the program's history. This one was originally published back in October of 2022 and is one of the most popular of the 40 or so editions now out in the feed. Elle will be back next week with a fresh one.
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Should I transition? This is a question a lot of trans people ask themselves at one time or another. The answer might seem obvious -- and it is for some people -- but it often is a little more complex. Elle talks about the process she went through to make sense of this choice. She reflects on support she received (like Dara Hoffman Fox's book on Gender Identity exploration) along the way, as well as the spirituality of the transgender experience. Other resources important during this time included: Love Lives Here by Amanda Jette Knox and Dazzling Darkness by Rachel Mann.
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Please share your feedback and ideas for the program to: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
The Ostrich Effect (or, Avoidance as Coping Mechanism)
Elle discusses the practice (or habit) of avoidance as a coping mechanism for stress. The term, "Ostrich Effect" is sometimes derided in pop-psychology circles as disordered avoidance or dissociation. But she argues that there are times in which it can be effective and even constructive for surviving. In the episode, Elle refers to the current political climate and social conversations around LGBTQ people, and the proposed legislation aimed at our community. She likewise discusses input from listeners from the show, including Quinn!
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This week's episode was videoed and will be available on Elle's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
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Please take a minute to rate and review the program, or email Elle directly at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Am I Transgender? (Part 4)
Elle continues the series asking the question, "Am I transgender?", an inquiry that comes to the forefront of trans people's mind at some point in their lives or another (or repeatedly). In this iteration of the series, Elle talks about looking at herself in the mirror, disassociation from thoughts and feelings, grieving the childhood and young adulthood I wish I'd had, my willingness to suffer, and so-called gender euphoria.
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Previous episodes in the series:
Am I Transgender? (Part 1) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/bha9xLj2zxb
Am I Transgender? (Part 2) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/p4lEXJj2zxb
Am I Transgender? (Part 3) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/SfBEQOENszb
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The Cornell meta-analysis study on the benefits of transition: https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/
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Julia Serano's book Whipping Girl can be purchased anywhere books are sold. Check out the author's blog here: https://www.juliaserano.com/
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Transgender Woman Talking YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
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Reach out to Elle at the following email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
How People Change
Elle solves the question of the ages (/s) for TWaT listeners this week on the show as she tackles the conundrum of how people change in their lives. Among her reflections on this enormous topic include mentions of her therapeutic approach as studied in her Masters therapy program from Alliant University, Father Richard Rohr's "Falling Upwards" (click here), Julia Serano's "Sexed Up" (click here), and many other fun little nuggets.
As has become commonplace, this episode will be shared in video form on Elle's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking
Email Elle at TWaTpodcasting@gmail.com with any questions, suggestions, or constructive advice :)
Please take a moment to rate and review the show, it helps folks to find the work that Elle is doing.
Travelogue
Elle brings you along with her on a trip back to her hometown. Some of her friends share their words of wisdom on the program, and Elle squeezes in a bit of sightseeing in between bouts of homework wrestling. A theme that seems to emerge during this Travelogue episode is Elle's feelings about fitting in (or not), and what it means to be home. .
Photos of this week's trip: https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/9VjrRJp6ScSbaN-oA-wrIg.I_X4iBb0CYPN999f4jyxQn
. Pink and Black Pen Pals program for incarcerated LGBTQ people - https://blackandpinkpenpals.org/ . Record a message to me! https://anchor.fm/twatpodcast/message
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As always, you can watch most episodes on YouTube (but not this one) - https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/videos
. Reach out via email at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
TERFs and JK Rowling
Elle dips her toes into the conversation about Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERFs) and JK Rowling and her new podcast, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling. She reflects on her internal impulses to condemn and empathize with folks like Rowling -- as well as the strangely validating experience of not being seen, trusted, or heard. Elle refers to Julia Serano's famous Trans Woman Manifesto from her book Whipping Girl as well as the 2022 novel Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. She also references the concept of cancel culture, as well as some of the brands that LGBTQ people reject like Chick-fil-A.
This episode will be available on YouTube at Elle's channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/transgenderwomantalking
Please email with any constructive feedback, affirmations, or suggestions :) twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Fear of Transition
Elle talks about things that scared her before she began transitioning; things that froze her into inaction. She reflects on the ways in which fear holds us back, and also about how it can show us the way to courage. This episode touches on so-called "imposter syndrome", Pandora's Box, the validity of transition as a "treatment" for gender dysphoria, the financial and social impacts of gender transition, passing, internalized transphobia, and the ways in which transgender women are often viewed suspiciously as predators in waiting. . Transgender Woman Talking is available on YouTube in video form - https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking/featured
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The song Elle referenced about brave fucking women - "Ice Cream Man" by RAYE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywunlu42_ho
. Cornell University Meta-analysis on the success rates and satisfaction of medical care for gender transition - https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/ . Gender Rebels Podcast - https://genderrebels.podbean.com/e/am-i-transgender-enough/ . Elle's book about keeping secrets - https://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Secrets-Hold-Launch-Forward/dp/1737778807 . #transgender #transpodcast #transition #lgbtq #transisbeautiful #transwoman #lgbtqtherapy #lgbtqia #transtherapist #twat #twatpodcast #transgenderwomantalking
Transgender Day of Visibility
This week, Elle reflects on some of the implications of Trans Day of Visibility. She talks about the benefits and drawbacks keeping secrets (or even maintaining privacy), and the many reasons why trans people may choose to hide aspects of their identities. One of the bits of media Elle references is the documentary "Paris is Burning" (1990) - read more about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_I...) This episode is based loosely on material Elle will present for a lecture at San Jacinto College in early April. Your constructive feedback and suggestions are welcome. Reply in the comments or send an email to: twatpodcasting@GMAIL.COM. Elle briefly references her book, "Hidden: Why Secrets Hold You Back and Launch You Forward", which dropped during the summer of 2021, just prior to her coming out. The book is published in her birth name, and is available for purchase on Amazon and via her website (www.estherloewen.com). As always, the podcast is available on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHIwunUfX0Rl8gzk2Pm2Ntw
Please leave a rating and review for the show if you haven't done so yet! . #transition #transgrief #grief #griefjourney #grieving #transgender #transgenderwoman #transwoman #transpastor #lgbtq #lgbtqtherapy #lgbtqia #transisbeautiful #transtherapist #therapy
Grief
Elle talks about the ways in which transition conjures the experience of grief. Quoting the work of Edith Eder (https://schizanthusnerd.com/2020/07/26/the-gift, she reflects on her life experiences with grief, some of the things she has lost in transition, and the mystical way in which grief transmutes to gratitude given enough time and magic. Elle references numerous other episodes of the podcast in this one, as well as the fact that most of the Transgender Woman Talking Podcast is available in video form on YouTube (check out Elle's channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking )
Thanks for listening! Reach out with constructive comments and high fives at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Travel (and Privilege)
In this episode, Elle talks about her experiences with traveling over the course of her life. She discusses how this privilege has shaped her worldview and enriched her life. At the same time, she also evaluates how this experience has and will change because of her identity as a transgender woman. Included in this episode are the themes of: privilege, recent legislation outlawing care for transgender youth and criminalizing the use of bathrooms, culture, racism, and Christian missions (just to name a few).
She makes mention of the artist, "Semler", and their amazing piece of music entitled "Bethlehem" (click here to listen on spotify)
Elle also talks about a US Government Travel resource for LGBTQ people - click here.
As always, reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Check out the YouTube Channel to see the video of this episode in living color: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHIwunUfX0Rl8gzk2Pm2Ntw
Family
Elle talks about her relationship with family, how the transition has impacted those bonds, and the value of family for queer people in general. She discusses the impact of severed ties -- which sometimes is necessary and important, while also sometimes being incredibly painful and unwanted -- as well as the beauty and challenge of maintaining those ties.
Toward the end of the episode, she talks about several ideas for future episodes. Please offer your feedback! twatpodcasting@gmail.com
No YouTube episode this week, as explained in the show. We'll be back at it next week.
Therapy
Elle discusses her personal and professional experiences with therapy and mental health. She currently is in school to become a LMFT, and has been a beneficiary of therapists many times over the years. In the conversation, she touches on the negative reputation therapist has within the conservative Christian contexts; the reasons why trans people may wish to interact with a therapist; several different qualification and education levels therapists may have; and how a trans person might evaluate a potential therapist.
Please reach out to Elle with questions or feedback at twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Watch the video versions of the show at her YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@transgenderwomantalking
As always, please leave a rating and review for the show if you haven't done so yet!
Am I Transgender? (Part 3)
In the third installment of the egg-cracking series, Elle discusses additional elements of her experience that led to the discovery and embrace of her identity as a transgender woman. This episode outlines the years of praying Elle had regarding her gender, and how it changed over time. It also explores some of the gender-expansive expressions she took part in from childhood into adulthood.
Julia Serano's book Whipping Girl can be purchased anywhere books are sold. Check out the author's blog here: https://www.juliaserano.com/
Am I Transgender? (Part 1) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/bha9xLj2zxb
Am I Transgender? (Part 2) - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/p4lEXJj2zxb
Permanent link to the Transgender Woman Talking website with listing of all episodes: https://anchor.fm/twatpodcast
Listen and watch these episodes on Elle's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHIwunUfX0Rl8gzk2Pm2Ntw
Reach out to Elle at the following email address: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Choosing a New Name
Elle discusses the process of choosing a new name as a part of her transition. Included in this are reflections on deadnames, strategies for choosing names, and ritualizing the new name. Though it is very important, she didn't discuss the process of going about legal-name-changing as it is highly variable from state to state. Resources discussed and referenced in this episode:
-Samantha Allen's book M to W TF on Audible
-Mimi LeMay in "What we Will Become" - book by a mother about her transgender child.
A YouTube version of this podcast episode is available on my YouTube Channel: https://youtu.be/UMt9UIHn4js
As always, please reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with questions, constructive feedback, and blessings!
Anti-Trans Legislation
Elle talks about the spat of anti-trans legislation proposed by state legislators in 2023, and the ways in which trans identities are being politicized by far right extremists for votes. She reflects on her own emotional reactions related to these events, and how she has chosen to cope with them in the meantime. Elle closes with a word of encouragement about where we find ourselves as a trans community.
Elle references the following resources in this episode:
Katelyn Burns MSNBC article entitled "Hyperfocusing on New Anti-Trans Bills May Hurt More than Help" — https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/hyperfocusing-new-anti-trans-bills-may-hurt-helps-rcna68398
The ever exuberant and strong Mardi Pieronek on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mardipantz/
Watch the YouTube version of this episode on my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHIwunUfX0Rl8gzk2Pm2Ntw
Email me with show suggestions, questions, encouragement, and constructive feedback at: twatpodcasting@gmail.com
Makeup
Elle discusses her routine putting on facial cosmetics. Obviously, this activity is gendered in American culture, and highly intertwined with femininity for perhaps some good but also a lot of frustration. She talks about her feelings of obligation to utilize these products, but also the ways in which they feel affirming. Most of the episode is spent discussing her specific makeup routines, detailing products and techniques she has adopted as a trans woman over the course of a couple years. Elle also mentions Ijeoma Oluo's Instagram featuring makeup tutorials - linked here.
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This week's episode is also available on YouTube in video form - please check it out at this link: https://youtu.be/NhdGlH4eLqQ
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As always, reach out to Elle at twatpodcasting@gmail.com with questions, ideas, and kindness. Thanks for rating and reviewing the show!