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A Chat with Uma

A Chat with Uma

By Uma R. Chatterjee, M.S., MHPS

Hi! I'm Uma - a neuroscientist, researcher, board-certified Mental Health Peer Specialist, mental health advocate, organizer, community builder, communicator... and most importantly, someone with vast lived experiences with mental health, chronic illness, young-adult cancer, & survivorship. On this show, I bring all of my identities together to bring you honest and unfiltered conversations exploring our true human experiences in their fullest form. We bridge the gap on all things neuroscience, psychology, mental health, lived experience, advocacy, psychedelics, research, & more!
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00. Trailer & Show Intro

A Chat with UmaJan 16, 2023

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06:21
27. From Me-search To Research: How I Turned My Lived Experience Into An Independent Research Project

27. From Me-search To Research: How I Turned My Lived Experience Into An Independent Research Project

On episode 27 of A Chat with Uma, I share my full experience of developing a fully independent research project inspired by my lived experience as a patient. I share the full story of how this project was born, and how this idea developed into a full research project that has resulted in presentations, awards, published abstracts, acceptance into Ph.D programs, and an upcoming publication. I discuss the experience of forging my own path as a single-author presenter as a student, and how I navigated various scenarios through this journey. I reflect on how this project provided novel avenues for my advocacy as a patient, and how I bridged my identities as a researcher, patient, & advocate as a result. This episode provides tangible tips and resources for pursuing one's own independent research project, empowering anyone listening to forge their own path and believe in what's possible for them.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Checking in with ya'll!


(00:10:20) Introduction to the episode

Contextual episodes:

  1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  2. ⁠24. Nontraditional Students: My Experiences, Advice, & Reflections From My Nontraditional Academic Path⁠
  3. ⁠25. From College Dropout to Graduate Student: Navigating Graduate School Applications & Admissions as a Nontraditional Student⁠
  4. ⁠19. Disability Isn't A Dirty Word: The Realities of Being Disabled and Navigating Discrimination, Erasure, & Ableism⁠


(00:19:25) EVENT REPLAY: IOCDF's OCD Con 2023 Keynote Address


(00:21:56) UPCOMING EVENTS:

  • IPN Psychedelic Personal Statement Workshop: Tues. 11/7, 7pm ET | Register here
  • Wonderland Miami - "So, You Want To Join The Psychedelic Field?": Sat. 11/11, 3-4pm ET | Register here: code IPN20 for 20% off
  • ABRCMS 2023 - Navigating Disabilities in Higher Ed panel: Fri. 11/17, 11:15am | Register here


(00:25:22 ) Context & background behind the inception of my independent research project

  • Where I was at academically at the time
  • My lack of research & presentation experience at the time
  • My "blissful ignorance" of the process


(00:38:30) How the project developed and evolved into posters, presentations, and awards

  • Considering myself as a patient related to psychedelic-assisted therapy for PTSD
  • Realizing the gap in the literature & field
  • How my lived experience with comorbid OCD & PTSD inspired this research question
  • Getting a single-author publication abstract accepted
  • Winning PsychedelX 2022
  • Presenting posters at numerous conferences as the sole author
  • Winning awards and grants
  • Giving talks at international conferences


(01:00:25) How the project expedited my academic timeline, changed the course of my career, and contributed to getting into my Ph.D program

  • The difference between my "traditional" research experience versus my independent research project
  • How connecting with researchers at conferences inspired me to include this project in my applications
  • Why I ended up getting into a Ph.D program largely because of this project


(01:22:56) Key takeaways and tangible tools to develop & pursue your own independent research project



Connect with me!

Oct 26, 202301:33:43
26. OCD 101 & My Full OCD Story: Misdiagnosis, Evidence-Based Treatment, OCD Myth Busting, & Comorbidities

26. OCD 101 & My Full OCD Story: Misdiagnosis, Evidence-Based Treatment, OCD Myth Busting, & Comorbidities

On episode 26 of A Chat with Uma, I dedicate a full episode to OCD awareness, in honor of OCD Awareness Week 2023. I provide a full primer on OCD 101 - all about what OCD is NOT, and what it IS. I share my full OCD story of onset, symptoms, misdiagnosis, delayed treatment, incorrect treatment, and what evidence-based treatment has looked like. I speak at length about my non-linear path within treatment, normalizing the coexistence of both suffering and recovery at once. I dismantle misconceptions and bust pervasive myths about what OCD is considered to be by popular culture, and discuss the repercussions of misinformation around OCD. Above all, I provide empowerment, validation, and hope around the OCD experience through speaking openly and honestly about all facets of living with obsessive-compulsive disorder.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Intro, overview, why I am recording this episode today


(00:13:04) UPCOMING EVENT: Made of Millions OCD Socratic Seminar: BIPOC Representation in the OCD Space

  • Mon. 10/9, 8 ET
  • Livestream on @MadeOfMillions TikTok + replay on IG


(00:14:21) UPCOMING EVENT: ⁠IOCDF⁠ Live Stream Panel - Diversity Starts With UsTues. 9/26, 7 ET


(00:15:13) UPCOMING EVENT: IOCDF Advocate Instagram Live

  • Sat. 10/14, 12pm ET
  • Attend: @IOCDF Instagram Live


(00:15:55) UPCOMING EVENT: OCD Gamechangers: Live Advocate Virtual Event

  • Sat. 10/14, 7:30pm ET
  • Attend: OCD Gamechangers YouTube or Facebook Live


(00:17:04) UPCOMING EVENT + ANNOUNCEMENT: Online OCD Conference - KEYNOTE ADDRESS!

(00:18:16) ANNOUNCEMENT: Joining OCD Wisconsin's Board of Directors


(00:20:25) What OCD is NOT:

  • A choice
  • An adjective
  • A quirk
  • Ego-syntonic (it's ego-DYStonic)
  • Nobody "is a little OCD" or "has a little OCD"
  • Why misrepresentation of OCD leads to misdiagnosis & mistreatment


(00:38:18) What OCD actually IS:

  • DSM-5 definition of "obsessions"
  • DSM-5 definition of "compulsions"
  • OCD themes & subtypes
  • Taboo obsessional themes within OCD
  • Mental compulsions & rituals
  • The shame of OCD
  • Why rationality, logic, & reason do not permeate the "OCD brain"
  • How OCD is fully ego-DYStonic
  • The doubting disease
  • Anxiety vs. OCD


(00:54:22) My FULL OCD story

  • What OCD looked like for me in childhood
  • How it fully took over by adolescence
  • How I hit rock bottom in early adulthood and lost all functionality
  • How I finally received a diagnosis at 22
  • 13 years of no diagnosis or treatment
  • 22 years of misdiagnosis
  • 12 years of incorrect treatment
  • 25 years without proper intervention
  • Finding evidence-based treatment at 25
  • Contextual episodes:
  1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  2. 02-04. My Mental Health Journey: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 2⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 3⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


(01:33:24) What evidence-based treatment & recovery has looked like for me

  • My experience of comorbid OCD & PTSD


(01:45:02) Reconciling the time lost to misdiagnosis & lack of treatment

  • How OCD led me to join a religious cult at 14
  • Grief and loss


(01:55:04) Rapid-fire final OCD myth busting:

  • OCD is NOT an anxiety disorder (& is not treated as such)
  • OCD is NOT "just" a form of anxiety (disgust, guilt, shame, just-rightness, etc.)
  • OCD is NOT a form of trauma
  • OCD is NOT a form of PTSD (& is not treated as such)
  • OCD is also a neurodevelopment disorder


Connect with me!

Oct 09, 202302:03:36
25. From College Dropout to Graduate Student: Navigating Graduate School Applications & Admissions as a Nontraditional Student

25. From College Dropout to Graduate Student: Navigating Graduate School Applications & Admissions as a Nontraditional Student

On episode 25 of A Chat with Uma, I share my full journey of applying for graduate school as a non-traditional student with a very divergent & complicated academic + personal history. I share my experience in full detail of applying for clinical psychology Ph.D programs earlier on in my academic journey, and how + why I ultimately chose to pursue my masters in neuroscience. I discuss how vastly different my experience was as a student whose path was so divergent from anyone around me, and the resulting confusion about my future & chances due to having no basis + reference point about my own journey. I explain how I navigated the ambiguity of applying to Ph.D programs with my unique journey, and why I ultimately decided to try. I speak at length about every detail of my application experience as a non-traditional student: including disclosure in personal statements, my CV, internet/social media "outing," recommendation letters, interviews, and more. This episode serves to provide evidence & hope that pursuing academic endeavors as a non-traditional student with a divergent past IS possible. I share all of my advice, empowerment, experiences, and honest reflections from my experiences in the hopes that others feel valid & hopeful about forcing their own paths with their unique lived experiences.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Intro & overview of episode


(00:07:48) Update: ⁠Video + event recording repository⁠ of many past events


(00:10:18) UPCOMING EVENT: Hosting IOCDF's Community Conversations - Tues. 9/26, 7 ET


(00:11:35) EVENT REPLAY: Co-hosted IOCDF's Community Conversations with Tom Smalley

(00:12:23) EVENT REPLAY: IOCDF Diversity Roundtable on Suicide Prevention - with Dr. Darlene Davis Goodwine, Krista Reed, & Erika McCoy


(00:14:08) UPCOMING EVENT: Online IOCDF OCD Conference 2023 & ticket giveaway!

  • Register here
  • Email for ticket giveaway: hello@umarchatterjee.com


(00:16:55 ) Brief background from my undergraduate degree & considering next steps

Contextual episodes:

  1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  2. 02-04. My Mental Health Journey: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 2⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 3⁠⁠⁠⁠


(00:23:33) Applying to grad school the first time

  • Psychology Ph.D programs & my neuroscience M.S. program
  • How & why I chose the neuroscience M.S.
  • The major influence my non-traditional path played in this application cycle


(00:32:46) Starting my masters degree in neuroscience

  • My extremely unique experience as a non-traditional student
  • The prescribed, typical path around me vs. my very divergent path
  • Confusion around what was possible for my future


(00:41:55) The wide range of evaluations & judgments I received due to my unprecedented, non-traditional academic path


(00:45:48) How and why I decided to apply to Neuroscience Ph.D programs, in spite of the odds; How I "broke the rules" of the typical application process


(00:51:38) How I specifically chose schools, programs, and mentors as a non-traditional student


(01:02:53) How I "broke the rules" in navigating disclosure + talking about my non-traditional path as an applicant

  • Statements & essays
  • My CV
  • My exposure & disclosure on the internet + social media
  • What I shared vs. what I didn't share


(01:16:48) Recommendation letters:

  • How I chose recommenders
  • How I asked recommenders
  • How I shared my history/past with them
  • The resources I created to optimize my chances as a non-traditional student


(01:26:36) Ph.D Interviews: how they went, how I navigated disclosure, the results of my applications, closing out the episode



Connect with me!

Sep 21, 202301:39:36
24. Nontraditional Students: My Experiences, Advice, & Reflections From My Nontraditional Academic Path

24. Nontraditional Students: My Experiences, Advice, & Reflections From My Nontraditional Academic Path

On episode 24 of A Chat with Uma, I share a comprehensive overview of my experience and journey as a non-traditional question - informed and shaped by the many questions from listeners & this community on this topic! I first operationally define the concept of a non-traditional student, sharing the various contributing factors that give rise to holding this identity. I share my full timeline and trajectory as a non-traditional student, explaining the circumstances that contributed to my divergent journey. I speak to the unique barriers and obstacles that I faced as a non-traditional student in returning back to school, as well as further goals and aspirations that required disclosure of this identity/label. I share at length about the unique stigmas, judgments, and misperceptions placed on non-traditional students and the ways that I have navigated them so far. This episode serves to provide a voice to students who hold this title and reframe the way that we view divergent journeys. This episode also provides a safe and supportive space to validate and empower people from different walks of life to pursue this path with hope, pride, and ownership of their identities and lived experiences. Topics Discussed (+ timestamps): (00:00:00) Hello, check-in, overview of episode (00:07:05) Update: ⁠⁠Video + event recording repository⁠⁠ of many past events (00:10:35) Update: You can now support my work on ⁠⁠Ko-Fi!⁠⁠ (00:13:11) What is a non-traditional student? Definition, conceptualization, orientation to episode (00:16:26) The background and story of how I became a non-traditional student - Severe mental and physical chronic illnesses - Failing out of school after 2 years with a 1.83 GPA - My 2nd degree in music school - Losing my voice to cancer - How I went back to my first degree as a non-traditional student - Contextual episodes:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 02-04. My Mental Health Journey: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 2⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 3⁠⁠⁠⁠ (00:25:06) Officially becoming a non-traditional student, how I decided to go back to school (00:32:17) Completing my undergraduate degree, how I ended up pursuing my master's degree and now my Ph.D (00:49:06) Speaking to the stigmas, misperceptions, barriers, and unique experiences of non-traditional students (00:56:08) Lack of consent in disclosure and privacy of identity and related experiences, diagnoses, and circumstances for non-traditional students (01:00:51) Lessons learned, final reflections, and future explorations and episodes on this topic Connect with me!

Sep 07, 202301:05:20
23. Life Updates: Moving To Wisconsin, Mental Health Treatments, Psychedelics, & Starting My Ph.D

23. Life Updates: Moving To Wisconsin, Mental Health Treatments, Psychedelics, & Starting My Ph.D

On episode 23 of A Chat with Uma, I provide an honest and unfiltered life update in light of many recent major life changes. I share openly and honestly about the difficulties I faced in moving to Wisconsin, and all that has transpired in this adjustment period. I speak about the struggles that contributed to my experience, as well as the steps I took to work through them. I talk through my most recent psychedelic experience and its contribution to the upward spiral that I have embarked upon since moving to Madison. I share from the heart about my recovery and healing process, and how it has looked far different than I ever expected. I share updates on my current treatment process, and I talk through the start of my Ph.D in neuroscience. Overall, this episode opens a window into the complexity and ever-evolving journey of recovery, discovery, healing, and growth that I am on, with the hope of creating a space for you to allow and accept the true nature of your own life experience with honesty and compassion.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Hello, check-in, overview of episode


(00:06:29) Update: Video + event recording repository of many past events


(00:08:53) Update: You can now support my work on Ko-Fi!


(00:11:21) Background on episode: where I was at our last life update/check-in


  • Contextual episodes:
  1. ⁠⁠⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠⁠⁠
  2. 02-04. My Mental Health Journey: ⁠⁠Part 1⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 2⁠⁠⁠⁠Part 3⁠⁠
  3. ⁠⁠⁠05. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher⁠⁠⁠
  4. ⁠06-07. The Ketamine Diaries - OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain: ⁠⁠Part. 1⁠⁠,⁠ ⁠⁠Part 2⁠⁠


(00:18:47) Recap of this past summer and my state of being since graduating in May


(00:23:52) Reflections on my fear of fear, and working to accept my reality


(00:33:16) Recap of moving from Dallas to Madison


(00:39:57) My most recent psychedelic experience: why I did it, and all that resulted


(00:50:05) Reflections and updates on recovery, growth, and change post-session; Reflections on how living in Madison is unexpectedly supporting my healing


(00:58:46) Updates on where I am with therapy/treatment; Embarking on new treatment for my comorbid OCD & PTSD


(01:05:07) Updates on starting my Ph.D in Neuroscience at the University of Wisconsin-Madison; Major changes I am making to my life & way of operating


(01:14:24) Final thoughts, reflections, calls to action, and hopes for the future


Connect with me!

Aug 31, 202301:20:25
22. How To Survive Your Ph.D: Addiction Research, Science Communication, Boundaries, & Being Your Unique Self with Dr. Elizabeth Berry

22. How To Survive Your Ph.D: Addiction Research, Science Communication, Boundaries, & Being Your Unique Self with Dr. Elizabeth Berry

On episode 22 of A Chat with Uma, I speak with Dr. Elizabeth Berry! Elizabeth Berry, Ph.D is a neuroscientist, addiction researcher, science communicator, artist, and digital creator. Dr. Berry just received her Ph.D in Cell Biology with a specialization in neuroscience from New York Medical College this past May. For her dissertation project, she focused on opioid addiction and the impact it has on specific neurons in the brain called orexin neurons. She is currently working as a postdoctoral fellow in Dr. Leonard’s lab, the lab she did her dissertation in, furthering the research she pursued during her PhD. In the future she hopes to work in an industry position as a scientist on neurodegenerative diseases. She is also the creator behind @nature.neuroscience.phd, her widely-regarded science communication and digital art platform.


In this episode, we discuss the following topics (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Introduction of episode & Dr. Elizabeth Berry


(00:04:07) Dr. Berry's journey to becoming a neuroscientist

  • Lifelong love for nature
  • Starting in plant science & microbiology
  • The personal experience that led her to pivot into neuroscience
  • Masters degree to join Ph.D program


(00:19:59) All about Dr. Berry's Ph.D experience

  • How she chose her lab & addiction neuroscience research
  • Her learning differences/challenges & how she overcame them
  • How she taught herself neuroscience after not having a neuro background
  • How her outdoors upbringing influenced the way she learns today


(00:31:49) Dr. Berry's addiction neuroscience research

  • Orexin/hypocretin neurons
  • Opioid addiction
  • Findings from her thesis work
  • All about whole-cell patch clamp electrophysiology


(00:44:19) Dr. Berry's reflections on work/life balance as a researcher

  • Struggling to find balance
  • Relationships and family
  • Taking care of yourself mentally & physically
  • Boundaries vs. acceptance in different situations
  • How to navigate the toxicity of comparison & competition in grad school
  • How to manage overwhelm
  • Finding presence amongst chaos


(00:59:08) All about Dr. Berry's massively successful science communication platform

  • How she began her scicomm account
  • How art helped her learn neuroscience
  • Bringing together her artistry with her science
  • Sharing her personal journey
  • Normalizing the human experience
  • How her scicomm is received by different populations


(01:08:38) All about Dr. Berry's career plans

  • Why she chose to do a postdoctoral fellowship
  • How she plans to pivot into industry
  • Why she is choosing to leave academia and join industry
  • The harsh reality of survivorship and living conditions within academia
  • Balancing passion for research with respecting your health + boundaries


(01:20:52) How Dr. Berry has utilized movement as a vital self-care tool through her intensive schedule


(01:25:01) DEEP rapid-fire final questions with Dr. Berry, and closing out the episode!

  • Her guidance on finding + being your full, unique self


Connect with Dr. Elizabeth Berry:


Connect with me!

Aug 17, 202301:36:16
21. The Truth About Self-Compassion: OCD, Anxiety, Eating Disorders, & Chronic Illness with Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT - Your Anxiety Toolkit

21. The Truth About Self-Compassion: OCD, Anxiety, Eating Disorders, & Chronic Illness with Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT - Your Anxiety Toolkit

On episode 21 of A Chat with Uma, I speak with Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT! Kimberley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and public speaker who is the host of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, founder of CBT School, and owner of Kimberley Quinlan (A Marriage and Family Therapy Corporation) in Los Angeles, CA.  She is passionate about the treatment of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and related disorders, Eating Disorders and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, and provides one-on-one treatment and online courses for those who are struggling in these areas. Advocating for those with mental health disorders is also a huge part of her life mission, and she serves as a global advocate for the International OCD Foundation. She is also the founder of CBTSchool, an online psychoeducation platform where she offers support and research-based educational products to those who cannot access correct care. CBTSchool offers low-cost online courses and FREE resources for OCD, anxiety and BFRB’s. She is also the best-selling author of 'The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions, and Focus On Recovery' (2021).


In this episode, we discuss the following topics (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Introduction of episode & Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT


(00:04:35) How Kimberley became an OCD-specialized therapist


(00:10:39) How Kimberley's lived experience with anxiety, eating disorders, and being a personal trainer led her to becoming a mental health therapist; Being an OCD therapist without having OCD


(00:13:59): All about self-compassion


(00:30:22) About Kimberley's book: The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions, and Focus On Recovery' (2021)


(00:40:57) How Kimberley has made evidence-based OCD treatment education widely accessible through CBT School


(00:47:55) Discussion: does an OCD treatment provider need to have lived experience of OCD to provide the best therapeutic care?


(00:53:39): Kimberley's experience with chronic illness & having a disability

  • Her journey to a POTS diagnosis
  • How she had to radically change her life & way of operating
  • Acceptance of disabilities & limitations
  • The lessons she's learned from her chronic illness experience
  • Full story on her podcast: episode 124, episode 307
  • Recommended book: How To Be Sick by Toni Bernhard


(01:10:20): Navigating boundaries and finding balance in life

  • Kimberley's experience with developing boundaries
  • How to (attempt to) strike balance amongst incredible busyness
  • Fielding judgment and criticism from social media & large-scale public creation
  • Kimberley's family and children
  • Kimberley's strategies for time management
  • Referenced course: Time Management for Optimum Mental Health


(01:20:03) Kimberley's experience as an Australian immigrant; Navigating the grief + anxiety of living across the world from her family


(01:23:23) DEEP rapid-fire final questions with Kimberley, and closing out the episode!


Connect with Kimberley:


Connect with me!

Aug 10, 202301:33:06
20. OCD Conference Recap: Psychedelics, Genes, PTSD/Trauma, Brain Scans, & BIPOC Representation

20. OCD Conference Recap: Psychedelics, Genes, PTSD/Trauma, Brain Scans, & BIPOC Representation

On episode 20 of A Chat with Uma, I recap my experience at the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF)'s 28th Annual OCD Conference & the 8th Annual IOCDF Research Symposium. I provide my key research takeaways from the perspective of an OCD neuroscientist & researcher with lived experience of OCD - about many important topics including psychedelics, ketamine, OCD genes, advanced epigenetic aging, comorbid OCD & PTSD + trauma, brain scans, and more. I share these research updates in accessible & digestible ways to continue bridging the gap between researchers & lived experience communities.

I also share my many experiences and reflections from my presentations and advocacy at the conference. I speak about my experience as a BIPOC patient and the influence of my identity on the ways I showed up at the conference. I also speak at length about the intersection of my identities as a researcher, trainee, and OCD survivor + advocate and the myriad of ways that my identities came together at this conference. This episode provides a comprehensive space for reflection, integration, and research updates for not only conference attendees, but those who were unable to attend in person.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Hello, check-in, moving update


(00:06:35) Introduction to episode


  • Contextual episodes:
  1. ⁠⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠⁠
  2. 02-04. My Mental Health Journey: ⁠Part 1⁠⁠Part 2⁠⁠Part 3⁠
  3. ⁠⁠05. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher⁠⁠
  4. ⁠06-07. The Ketamine Diaries - OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain: ⁠Part. 1⁠,⁠ ⁠Part 2⁠


(00:09:08) Overview of OCD Con, IOCDF Research Symposium, & the unique nature + structure of this particular conference


(00:20:46) Research Update: OCD Genes & Advanced Epigenetic Aging - Dr. Evelyn Stewart


(00:28:24) Research Update: Ketamine Trials for OCD - Dr. Carolyn Rodriguez


(00:38:41) Recap: Research Symposium poster presentation; Full-circle reflection of my growth as a researcher with lived experience; Beginning at OCD Con last year


(00:46:34) Recap: BIPOC Community Support Group

  • with me & Erjing Cui, LMHC
  • Reflections on South Asian representation in the community + at the conference
  • Further calls to action


(00:54:44) Recap: In My Shoes - Highlighting The Realities of the BIPOC & Cultural Road To Recovery


(00:58:32) Recap: Psychedelics & OCD - Discussing the Current State of Psychedelic Research as Potential OCD Treatments


(01:18:14) Recap + Update: OCD & Medication - Brain Scan Discussion


(01:23:27) Research Update: Comorbid OCD & PTSD + Trauma


(01:28:18) Final reflections, hopes, and future directions


Connect with me!

Aug 03, 202301:32:41
19. Disability Isn't A Dirty Word: The Realities of Being Disabled and Navigating Discrimination, Erasure, & Ableism

19. Disability Isn't A Dirty Word: The Realities of Being Disabled and Navigating Discrimination, Erasure, & Ableism

On episode 19 of A Chat with Uma, I discuss my experience and history as a disabled person, in honor of Disability Pride Month. This is a raw episode, sharing my history with physical, psychiatric, and cognitive disabilities - both lifelong and more recently developed. I share my unfiltered experiences of discrimination, stigma, ableism, and the repercussions of these chronic experiences. I speak at length about the realities of disability justice (or lack thereof) and the need for true unlearning, advocacy, rebuilding, and action. This episode is meant to be a space of reflection, solidarity, validation, and honesty for those who live with disabilities and those who truly desire to advocate for & be an ally for disabled people.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Introduction & what inspired this episode

  • Contextual episodes:
  1. ⁠01. My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠
  2. 02-04. My Mental Health Journey: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
  3. ⁠05. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher⁠
  4. ⁠06-07. The Ketamine Diaries - OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain: Part. 1,⁠ Part 2
  5. 11. Living With Cancer


(00:08:03): Operational definition & discussion of what disabilities are


(00:09:26): Overview of my physical disabilities & their effects; history of misdiagnosis, ableism, and unlearning


(00:24:40): Overview of my psychiatric mental disabilities & their effects


(00:33:14): Overview of my cognitive mental disabilities & their effects


(00:39:14): The pervasive effects of ableism

  • Definition of ableism
  • Causes and effects of ableism
  • Erasure of disability in DEI initiatives
  • Extreme discrimination faced by disabled people
  • Why disabled people are the least supported amongst marginalized communities
  • The harsh reality of disabled humans
  • Lack of accountability in change & domino effect
  • Stigmas and misperceptions perpetuated against disabled people
  • The immense need for disability justice


(01:01:27): Calls to action for changes, talking about future & further advocacy


Some Disability Resources & Advocates:


Connect with me!

Jul 27, 202301:07:47
18. The Real OCD Chemical Imbalance: Glutamate, GABA, & Becoming An OCD Neuroscientist with Dr. Ana Maria De Souza

18. The Real OCD Chemical Imbalance: Glutamate, GABA, & Becoming An OCD Neuroscientist with Dr. Ana Maria De Souza

On episode 18 of A Chat with Uma, I speak with Dr. Ana Maria De Souza! Ana Maria De Souza, Ph.D, is a Brazilian cognitive neuroscientist, who is passionate about bridging the gap between researchers, clinicians, and the public. She has completed an undergraduate degree and a Master's in Psychology in Brazil, and moved to the UK to pursue a Ph.D at the University of Cambridge with some of the most renowned OCD researchers in the world. She is committed to translating brain research into publicly available treatments for OCD and empowering individuals to make fully informed choices.


In this episode, we discuss the following topics (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Introduction of episode & Dr. Ana Maria De Souza


(00:4:50): Dr. De Souza's lived experience with conditions and how that led her to become a neuropsychologist


(00:13:18): How Dr. De Souza then pivoted from neuropsychology/clinical practice to cognitive neuroscience


(00:19:00): How Dr. De Souza began studying OCD

  • From anxiety to OCD
  • Combatting the misconceptions and stigma around OCD
  • How OCD is not usually taught about accurately in higher education
  • How her understanding of OCD completely changed from meeting patients
  • Her deep respect for and protectiveness of OCD survivors


(00:27:07): Dr. De Souza's operational definition and conceptualization of OCD as a neuropsychologist, cognitive neuroscientist, and researcher (important to listen to!)


(00:34:23): The neuroscience of OCD, in the context of Dr. De Souza's research + work; Differentiating OCD from anxiety/anxiety disorders


(00:43:44): Newest unpublished findings from Dr. De Souza's lab and research!

  • Differential profiles of functional vs. dysfunctional patient subgroups + theories
  • Speculation around differences in themes and physical vs. mental compulsions


(00:56:08): Dr. De Souza & colleagues' newest (+ groundbreaking!) Nature paper on Glutamate + GABA chemical imbalances in OCD patients


(01:07:56): The critical importance of science communication and consuming research responsibly

  • Misinterpretation of research findings
  • Unfounded conclusions
  • Correlation vs. causation
  • Why we can't immediately translate basic science findings to treatments
  • Consequences of incorrect science dissemination + interpretation
  • The vast complexity and nuance of scientific findings
  • The pitfalls of advocacy, overenthusiasm, and inadvertently communicating inaccurate research
  • How to make research more accessible in an evidence-based, science-informed way
  • Guidance on how to actually read research papers!


(01:21:37): Limitations, caveats, and considerations around Dr. De Souza & colleagues' findings; limitations on research in general, at this time


(01:25:44): DEEP rapid-fire final questions with Dr. De Souza, and closing out the episode!


Connect with Dr. Ana Maria De Souza:


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Jul 20, 202301:34:48
17. Psychedelic Science Recap: Research Updates, Biggest Takeaways, & The Intercollegiate Psychedelics Network

17. Psychedelic Science Recap: Research Updates, Biggest Takeaways, & The Intercollegiate Psychedelics Network

On episode 17 of A Chat with Uma, I provide a full recap of my experience at the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference in Denver, hosted by the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS)! PS2023 was the world’s largest-EVER gathering focused on psychedelic research and medicine, with over 12,000 attendees from across the globe. This episode provides a recap of my experience at the conference, ranging from research updates, OCD advocacy and awareness, my presentation experiences, key takeaways from sessions, and general meta updates from the psychedelic science field. This robust episode goes deep into the human experience of not only this conference, but the full-circle experience of finding myself in this space, participating in this way.

I also speak in depth about the Intercollegiate Psychedelics Network (IPN), the premier student and youth-led psychedelic organization, where we empower, develop, and connect the next generation of students & rising professionals in the psychedelic ecosystem. IPN provides high-impact and interdisciplinary programming geared toward professional development, mentorship, and accessibility for members worldwide, and I provide context on my involvement as co-director and how our work contributed to the PS 2023 conference. Finally, I share my reflections and resolutions for moving forward beyond this conference.


Topics Discussed (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Intro:

  • Check-in
  • Introducing Psychedelic Science 2023


(00:08:36): Background on my path to the psychedelic field + this conference

  • Contextual episodes:
  1. 01. My Full Story: 0 to 26
  2. 05. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher
  3. 06. The Ketamine Diaries, Pt. 1
  4. 07. The Ketamine Diaries, Pt. 2
  • How my lived experience led me to Psychedelic Science 2019
  • How PS2019 influenced me going back to school
  • The full-circle nature of sharing my own research at PS2023


(00:27:22): All about the Intercollegiate Psychedelics Network (IPN)


(00:41:32): IPN's contribution to Psychedelic Science 2023

  • Exhibiting Sponsor Booth
  • "So, You Want To Be A Psychedelic Professional?" panel
  • Students & Rising Professionals Mixer


(00:49:28): RECAP: Psychedelic research funding from the NIH (& National Institute of Drug Abuse [NIDA])


(01:04:14): RECAP: Changing the paradigm of research collaboration vs. competition in psychedelic science; recommendations from experts


(01:09:33): RECAP: Keynote from Dr. Andrew Huberman (Huberman Lab Podcast) - Shutting down animal work post psychedelic treatments; Contributions of students


(01:19:26): RECAP: Launch of the ⁠Psychedelics & Pain Association (PPA)⁠; Psychedelics & Pain Symposium | July 15-16 (USE CODE 'umapod20' for 20% off tickets!)


(01:27:21): RECAP: Updates from Yale Psilocybin & OCD trial(s)


(01:31:59): RECAP: OCD advocacy & awareness through presenting my research


(01:38:47): RECAP: IPN panel + mixer; Advocating for non-traditional + underrepresented students in the psychedelic ecosystem; Experiencing the next generation of the psychedelic field!



Links mentioned in episode:


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Jul 13, 202301:47:13
16. Running Towards Our Values: Faith, OCD, & Religious Scrupulosity with Reverend Katie O'Dunne

16. Running Towards Our Values: Faith, OCD, & Religious Scrupulosity with Reverend Katie O'Dunne

On episode 16 of A Chat with Uma, I speak with Reverend Katie O'Dunne! Rev. Katie O'Dunne is the founder of Faith & Mental Health Integrative Services, an organization helping individuals with OCD and related disorders live into their faith traditions as they navigate evidence-based treatment. Prior to this, she spent 7 years serving as the Academy Chaplain and the Pauline and R.L. Brand Jr. '35 Chair of Religious Studies at Woodward Academy in Atlanta, Georgia. Katie is proud to be an IOCDF lead advocate, an ordained minister, and an endurance athlete tackling 50 ultra-marathons for OCD. She is currently pursuing her doctorate at Vanderbilt to continue her focus on faith & mental health.


In this episode, we discuss the following topics (+ timestamps):


(00:00:00) Intro:


(00:07:03): Introduction of Rev. Katie O'Dunne


(00:15:46): Confessional + backstory of my initial fear of Katie due to religious trauma; Misconceptions about those who work in ministry


(00:19:18): Deep dive into Katie's story:

  • Ineffective therapy in childhood
  • Venturing into chaplaincy
  • Untreated OCD wreaking havoc through her life & career
  • How loss and grief exacerbated her moral/religious scrupulosity
  • Finally engaging in evidence-based treatment (exposure & response prevention/ERP) for OCD
  • Reclaiming her life & finding purpose in working at the intersection of faith and mental health


(00:30:14): Doing unseen compulsions, accidentally "tricking" therapists, and being incorrectly treated by therapists who are not properly trained to treat OCD


(00:36:08): How Katie got into interfaith chaplaincy and working with people of all faith/belief backgrounds (including identifying as agnostic, atheistic, etc.)


(00:41:46): How OCD can latch onto religion, and working at the intersection of faith + OCD


(00:43:58): Defining + explaining moral scrupulosity and religious scrupulosity, individually and as themes of OCD


(00:56:07): How Katie created Faith & OCD initiatives for the International OCD Foundation (⁠IOCDF Faith & OCD Resource Center⁠⁠)


(00:58:10): Katie's doctoral work at Vanderbilt University, conceptualizing OCD treatment as a spiritual practice


(01:05:33): Challenges and opportunities around mental health outreach + education for other clergy members


(01:09:04): Where Katie is today in her own OCD recovery journey


(01:13:55): How running ultra-marathons became a part of Katie's OCD recovery & advocacy journey; Running towards our values


(01:19:00): All about Katie's upcoming projects:

  • 'What's The Scoop with Scrup' podcast
  • Upcoming Faith + OCD Support Group Platform


(01:23:27): DEEP rapid-fire final questions with Katie, and closing out the episode!



Connect with Katie:


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Jun 29, 202301:30:38
15. The Great (Recovery) Reckoning: Graduation, Burnout, & The Truth About Transition

15. The Great (Recovery) Reckoning: Graduation, Burnout, & The Truth About Transition

On episode 15 of A Chat with Uma, I provide a full recap of the few weeks that I've (unexpectedly) been away from the podcast! This recap serves to fully & honestly reflect my true experiences with navigating graduation, closing out this chapter of my life, and transition - with no filters, whatsoever. I speak with radical honesty about the state of my recovery and well-being throughout this unexpectedly difficult time, and talk through all of the contributing factors that play into my experience.

I share openly about my experience with dissociation and maladaptive coping mechanisms - namely excessive busyness - in the name of verbalizing this experience for anyone else navigating this as well. I share reflections, progress updates, opportunities for growth, and how I have attempted to engage in self-compassion. I also speak through the stuck-points and the conundrum of burnout amongst more fully living life and burnout from things that light us up. I close with updates about my life, upcoming experiencs and opportunities for growth, and a reclamation of honesty, self-compassion, and acceptance - for me, and for YOU.



Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction: Confessional, gratitude, where I've been & the fear + experience of coming back


(00:11:23): Recap of finishing out my semester & labwork


(00:20:16): Recap on graduation; The comfort of "sprinting through a marathon," and the fear of finishing


(00:25:56): Navigating a parent's cancer treatment, dealing with the distress and overwhelm


(00:30:52): Addiction to busyness and overworking as a coping mechanism; The concept of being burnt out from being so lit up


(00:43:02): Experience in Miami with ⁠Biohaven⁠: glimpses of recovery & presenting as a survivor for the first time


(00:54:04): Next steps, what the immediate future looks like, opportunities for growth, what's coming!




Connect with me!

Jun 20, 202301:02:55
14. England Trip Recap: Recovery, Exposures, Presence, & Breaking Convention

14. England Trip Recap: Recovery, Exposures, Presence, & Breaking Convention

On episode 14 of A Chat with Uma, I provide a full recap of my recent trip to England! This recap serves to reflect pivotal experiences and realizations around the state of my overall recovery from decades of debilitation and dysfunction - namely mental and physical illnesses. I speak openly about navigating presence, dissociation, pain, triggers, stress, recovered moments, and everything in between.

I then share at length about my experience of presenting at Breaking Convention and ALL that came from sharing my research and inadvertent OCD advocacy + awareness. Overall, this episode serves as an honest and thorough reflection on the reality + power of persisting in recovery, especially in sharing the life-changing moments that came from the exposure of this trip.



Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction to the episode


(00:04:20): Neuroscience Research Seminar Presentation

(00:06:07): Guest + Topic Request Form

(00:07:47): Introduction and background of the trip, the exposures I decided to face with this trip


(00:22:06): Experiencing new-found, transient presence + flexibility during this trip


(00:30:05): Navigating chronic pain, physical presence, and dissociation


(00:38:56):Procrastination, avoidance, denial, triggers, therapy on the trip


(00:44:03): Experience leading up to talk, navigating fears & intrusive thoughts, Source Research Foundation dinner, exposures through this process


(00:49:10): My full Breaking Convention presentation recap + experience, all of the OCD advocacy + awareness, meeting my heroes, glimpses of presence, newfound freedom + purpose, the power of recovery, reflections



Connect with me!

May 01, 202301:11:17
13. My 27th Birthday... I Never Thought I'd Be Here.

13. My 27th Birthday... I Never Thought I'd Be Here.

On episode 13 of A Chat with Uma, I reflect on my 27th birthday today. Recorded on my actual birthday, I share a live, raw, completely unedited account of everything coming up for me as I turn 27. I speak at length about the awe and gratitude I feel for being here + alive today, and reflect on how being alive for this long felt like a complete impossibility for much of my life. I talk through the rapid transformation of life that has ensued since cancer and all the recovery I have embarked upon, and how wildly different life looks than anything I could've ever expected, on all fronts. I speak candidly about my current state of being, including the full spectrum of emotions that come up with celebrating my birthday and my cancerversary in direct succession. I talk through examples of how meeting life with my authentic self has created so many experiences that I would've never thought to be even remotely possible. I share my experiences of exploring the duality of existence, the complete surprise of how life looks, and the awe of continuing to explore the continuum of experiences that life has to offer. Above all, this episode is a statement of love, gratitude, acceptance, and holding hope for every single beautiful human listening to this episode - especially through the darkest and most impossible moments that you may live through.


Connect with me!

Apr 25, 202301:01:11
12. What If I'm Dying?: The Intersection of Mental Health & Cancer

12. What If I'm Dying?: The Intersection of Mental Health & Cancer

On episode 12 of A Chat with Uma, inspired by my upcoming 4-year cancerversary and all that comes up this time of year - I share my full story + experience of my mental health struggles due to/influenced by my cancer. I discuss the research, conceptualization, and understanding of adverse mental health outcomes for patients with cancer & other life-threatening illnesses - particularly AYAs (adolescent + young adult patients, 15-39). I speak at length about my own experience living with cancer and mental health struggles, candidly sharing the concrete examples of how my OCD, anxiety, PTSD, depression, and more intersect with + are exacerbated by my cancer diagnosis. I dispel myths about "cancer victimhood," explaining the reality of cancer survivorship in tangible + accessible terms. I close with reflections about my cancer + mental health experience & my upcoming cancerversary, and provide a call to action + empowerment about sharing our true experiences in community with others - and allowing ourselves the chance to be truly seen + supported.



Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction to the episode, why I'm doing this episode, my upcoming 4-year cancerversary


(00:06:09): Breaking Convention Presentation

(00:08:36): Digital CancerCon Presentation

(00:09:59): The full reality of facing one's mortality & living with cancer

  • Living with chronic illness vs. cancer/life-threatening illnesses
  • The general timeline of processing a cancer diagnosis
  • The lack of transition from fight/reactive mode to resting + processing
  • The implications of chronic survival mode
  • Significantly worsened mental health outcomes for cancer survivors (particularly AYAs)
  • The realities of cancer survivorship & facing one's mortality
  • The resulting isolation & misunderstanding of mental health + survivorship
  • Invalidation of the mental health repercussions in survivorship
  • SCANXIETY


(00:28:55): My own mental health & cancer experience

  • How my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) latched onto cancer
  • Health anxiety vs. health anxiety OCD, my experience of both
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) exacerbated by my cancer
  • Depression exacerbated by my cancer
  • The implications of my chronic/metastatic cancer on my mental health
  • The truth of facing my mortality from cancer
  • How scanxiety shows up for me


(00:45:05): Mental illness/dysfunction is NOT a choice

  • Growing around cancer versus trying to erase/deny cancer
  • The misperception of mental health challenges during cancer survivorship
  • How to support cancer survivors in their mental health
  • The power of support and validation in survivorship
  • How to shift from toxic positivity, toxic gratitude, and spiritual bypassing
  • Dismantling misperceptions of "victimhood," empowerment to take up space


(00:55:00): My own reflections, my cancerversary, the duality of life & death around my cancerversary, closing the episode


Connect with me!

Apr 17, 202359:21
11. Living with Cancer: Misdiagnosis, Metastases, Cancerversaries, & the AYA Experience

11. Living with Cancer: Misdiagnosis, Metastases, Cancerversaries, & the AYA Experience

On episode 11 of A Chat with Uma, inspired by my upcoming 4-year cancerversary and all that comes up this time of year - I share my full story + experience of living with cancer since I was 22. I talk you through the 6 months of misdiagnosis that led up to my diagnosis the day after my birthday, and I take you through the tumultuous journey of treatment that was shaped by further negligence, misdiagnosis, and mistreatment. I share the consequences of my delayed treatment on my prognosis, and I explain the reality of living with cancer rather than being in remission. I speak at length about the unique struggles of living with cancer as an AYA (adolescent + young adult patient), and I draw awareness to the experience of survivorship beyond treatment that is often completely overlooked by those in an AYA's life. I close with reflections about my experience, and a call to action + empowerment about sharing our true experiences in community with others - and allowing ourselves the chance to be truly seen + supported.



Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction to the episode, why l'm doing this episode, my upcoming 4-year cancerversary, dedication of this episode


(00:09:44): Aspiring Scientists Coalition Presentation with Dr. Ben Rein


(00:14:00): Breaking Convention Presentation

(00:17:05): Digital CancerCon Presentation

(00:19:58): Diagnosis & surgery

  • Events leading up to my diagnosis
  • 6 months of misdiagnosis
  • Being diagnosed the day after my birthday
  • The role of my young age
  • Going through cancer surgery
  • Consequences and effects


(00:42:56): Negligence, radiation, metastasis

  • Medical negligence after surgery
  • Transitioning my care
  • Highest risk of recurrence
  • Radiation
  • Discovery of distant spots of metastasis


(01:01:20): What my cancer looks like now

  • Current level of monitoring
  • "Cancer suppressed" vs. in remission
  • The role of my young age


(01:07:31): The AYA cancer experience

  • What AYA is: adolescent + young adult patients
  • The worsened outcomes + prognoses for AYAs
  • AYA awareness and self-advocacy


(01:14:42): The reality of facing your mortality

  • Isolation, fear, scanxiety
  • Worsened mental health outcomes
  • Toxic positivity and gratitude
  • How to adequately support AYAs


(01:19:27): Closing out the episode, integrating and allowing all parts of you to exist



Connect with me!

Apr 10, 202301:24:43
10. My Next Chapter: Research, Advocacy, SciComm, & Becoming Myself

10. My Next Chapter: Research, Advocacy, SciComm, & Becoming Myself

On episode 10 of A Chat with Uma, I'm sharing everything about the next chapter of my life, which stems from one of the biggest life decisions I have made to date. I speak at length about the major decision I have made for the next step of my life + career, and narrate through the complexities and interplay of my beliefs, traumatic experiences, pathologies/mental illnesses, and distortions that contributed to my past confusion about my life path. I detail the process of integrating a pivotal psilocybin experience and the insights that provided integral support to my decision-making. I share the details of my next steps, how I got to this path, where exactly I will be going + what I will be doing, and how I will navigate the challenges & difficulties that may arise. I illustrate a tangible example of the illusion of "correct" choices, and share the role of acceptance and self-discovery in making values-driven decisions. This episode ultimately serves to share my raw and honest experience of moving through acceptance, curiosity, finding myself beyond what I "do," breaking through the binaries + limitations of others, and the process of becoming myself.


Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction to the episode


(00:03:18) Aspiring Scientists Coalition meeting with Dr. Ben Rein


(00:07:39): Breaking Convention Presentation

(00:11:58) Announcing the major life decision I made!

(00:14:38) How and why I made this decision

  • Psilocybin experience
  • Recapitulating therapeutic effects of ketamine treatments
  • Realizations about my true "self"
  • How my "self" helped bloom my decisions


(00:30:06) How I'm moving from safety behaviors to this choice being an avenue to discover, accept, & become myself


(00:46:45) Where I am going/moving for this next chapter + why


(01:04:02) What I experienced there & how this place changed my perception of life


(01:07:31) Breaking through the belief that I need to shrink + be either/or an advocate or scientist, and paving my own path to integrate all parts of myself


(01:14:48) Where I'm going from here, gratitude for this podcast community, moving into my next chapter

Connect with me!

Apr 03, 202301:21:37
09. Brain Research 101: From Human to Molecule

09. Brain Research 101: From Human to Molecule

On episode 9 of A Chat with Uma, I provide a high-level overview of the full spectrum of brain science research. This episode serves as a primer to illustrate the spectrum of brain research that exists across psychology, neuroscience, psychiatry, and other related fields. This primer breaks down each level of research, its techniques, and jargon in an intuitive and accessible way, illustrating the advantages and limitations of each research approach and how they come together to comprehensively answer the questions we have about brains, mental/psychiatric illnesses, and consciousness. From observational human studies all the way to molecular analysis, this episode will teach you the basics of how brain research works across the spectrum of scientific study, from human to molecule.

This easily digestible, accessible primer will equip you with the basic knowledge and skillset to begin effectively interacting with brain research that interests you across the full spectrum of fields, including: observational studies, clinical psychology, experimental psychology, cognitive psychology, psychiatry, clinical trials, cognitive neuroscience, neuroimaging, systems neuroscience, cellular neuroscience, molecular neuroscience, human-derived stem cell research, computational neuroscience, and more.


Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction to Brain Research 101 & the spectrum of research

(00:05:46): My scientific background, biases, limitations; Disclosures & disclaimers


Brain Research Spectrum: each includes explanation, techniques, examples, advantages, limitations, + description of experimenters

(00:11:51) Observational research, naturalistic settings & within laboratories (humans)

(00:18:14) Psychology research, psychiatry, clinical trials (humans)


(00:24:48) Cognitive neuroscience, neuroimaging/brain scans (humans)


(00:44:22) Pre-clinical research, neurobiology, animal models


(00:46:45) Systems neuroscience, circuits


(00:51:24) Cellular & molecular neuroscience, therapeutic targets


(00:56:25) Human-derived stem cell models, brain organoids


(00:59:58) Computational neuroscience, computational modeling


(01:02:30) Variability in humans vs. preclinical research, experimenters in pre-clinical research


(01:10:05) Full example of research question + how this question would be functionally answered across each part of the brain research spectrum discussed in this episode



I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

Connect with me!

Mar 27, 202301:20:00
08. Honesty Hour: The Duality of Recovery, Making "Right" Choices, & Trusting Yourself

08. Honesty Hour: The Duality of Recovery, Making "Right" Choices, & Trusting Yourself

On episode 8 of A Chat with Uma, I share my first "Honesty Hour": a space where I share my raw, unfiltered, uncensored thoughts as I process the reality of life in real time. Honesty Hour episodes serve to create a space for us to allow the messy, confusing, and complex nature of experiencing life to live, rather than just sharing the insights and hindsight that come from sharing at the "other side" of experiencing; Instead, I hope to instead create an equally valuable & supportive space for moving through experiences. I share details about my current experiences around recovery, making crucial future decisions, crippling fear, the uncertainty of my values, the struggles of my bicultural identity, the declining health of my elderly parents, fear about not being able to recover my health, and more. This episode serves to normalize & unite us in accepting the nuance, complexity, and duality of the human condition that we all experience.

Topics Covered + Timestamps:


(00:00:00): Introduction to Honesty Hour, why I'm doing this episode

(00:06:26): The duality of recovery, the fear of making "right" or "wrong" choices

(00:09:50) Toxic gratitude + positivity, how I got to the point of the current life choices I face

(00:32:40): Processing my upcoming life decisions

  • Uncertainty about if I'm choosing from my values
  • Confusion about the future
  • The new struggles from recovery
  • Logic vs. embodiment of values
  • Where my choices are coming from


(00:45:00): Familial obligations & biculturality

  • Struggles with elderly parental responsibilities
  • One parent's cancer diagnosis
  • Other parent's health declining and recent major accident
  • Boundaries vs. responsibilities
  • Tension between values with my bicultural identity
  • Shame, guilt, & resentment from obligation vs. self-betrayal
  • Misogynistic responsibilities enforced as a daughter
  • Honest and raw reflections across the full spectrum


(01:01:35): Contending with the state of my mental health

  • The value of community through processing experiences
  • The complexity of the state of my mental health
  • Navigating the current medical system & lack of access to proper care
  • Coexisting with the objective burden of chronic illnesses AND gratitude for recovery + life
  • Fears of seeking new providers after decades of medical trauma + mistrust
  • Fear of not reaching a functional level of recovery + liberation


(01:23:00) Glass vs. plastic balls of responsibility

  • Overwhelm from all the roles I've taken on
  • Full description of "glass vs. plastic balls"
  • Learning how to prioritize
  • Choosing well-being and boundaries over even value-driven projects
  • Dissociation from life through busyness


(01:25:54) Final reflections, self-compassion, accepting duality, allowing complexity, embracing uncertainty, and safe space for all of us to process

I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

Connect with me!


Mar 20, 202301:33:49
07. The Ketamine Diaries, Pt. 2: OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain

07. The Ketamine Diaries, Pt. 2: OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain

In the Ketamine Diaries episodes, I share my full journey of clinical ketamine treatments for OCD, PTSD, depression, suicidality, and chronic pain. In this episode (part 2), I share every part of my experience from the very beginning of my ketamine treatments, through all of my stabilization and maintenance treatments thus far, the short and long-term effects, and everything that has led me to my present-day state, post-treatments. I detail every treatment experience from the physical, mental, and emotional perspectives, and speak in detail about the insights, challenges, and integrations that came with each trip. I provide reflections for how the immediate treatment experiences translated to long-term effects (or not). I share the nitty-gritty details of medical decisions I made that influenced the trajectory of my treatments, and explain the rationale behind these decisions from a research-informed standpoint. I finally share the results at this point of ketamine treatments for every diagnosis + symptom that I sought treatment for, and close with disclosing everything that has informed my decisions moving forward with continuing treatments. This episode provides a full, comprehensive, and multidisciplinary account of myself going through weeks of intensive ketamine treatments, and ultimately creates an honest and curious space for anyone thinking about pursuing ketamine treatments to explore their questions and concerns.

Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Welcome, exciting life updates, intro to part 2, important disclaimers

(00:05:31) Stabilization Day 1: Treatment setting, medication decisions (benzodiazepines/anxiety meds, nausea meds, pain meds, etc.), trip report, decisions moving forward

(00:17:59) Stabilization Day 2: Medication decisions, trip report, trip insights (read verbatim) - distance between me and my symptoms/fears, virtual therapy

(00:27:15) Stabilization Day 3: Trip report - realizing the suppression of my true self, orchids vs. dandelions, sea turtles; trip insights and integration (read verbatim), virtual therapy

(00:46:32) Stabilization Days 4 & 5: Steep downturn, trip report - suicidality during the entire trip, how I dealt with the horrific experiences that day, trip insights and integration, virtual therapy

(00:52:20) Time between stabilization & maintenance treatments: physical side effects of treatment, integration of trips, challenges, insights, awarenesses

(01:04:10) Maintenance Day 1 & 2: summary of high-dose haze, extreme compounded physical side-effects, full report of integration and recovery

(01:06:05) Everything that informed my decision about moving forward with treatments, reflections about clinic, effects on my chronic pain

(01:09:10) Overall effects on my mental health (OCD, PTSD, depression, suicidality, etc.), lessons and reflections from treatments, where/how I am now, my treatment plans for the future, changes in my life


I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

Connect with me!

Mar 06, 202301:24:16
06. The Ketamine Diaries, Pt. 1: OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain

06. The Ketamine Diaries, Pt. 1: OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain

In the Ketamine Diaries episodes, I share my full journey of clinical ketamine treatments for OCD, PTSD, depression, suicidality, and chronic pain. In this episode (part 1), I share every part of my experience from the decision to pursue ketamine treatments to the very beginning of my treatment experiences. I narrate the contexts surrounding my decision to engage in a clinical ketamine treatment protocol, detail the decision-making around the numerous important considerations, share a high-level overview of the research that informed my decision-making, the role of chronic pain in choosing this treatment protocol, and the different diagnoses that would possibly be affected by these treatments. I speak at length about the state of current ketamine clinics and loopholes to be wary of. This episode serves to provide full transparency around the experimental nature of considering clinical treatments for various indications from my various perspectives as a patient, psychonaut, and neuroscientist - and ultimately, this episode creates an honest and curious space for anyone thinking about pursuing ketamine treatments to explore their questions and concerns.

Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Welcome, exciting life updates

(00:05:35) Intro to episode, pre-frames, why I'm doing this episode, important disclaimers

(00:10:04) Background, why I began considering ketamine treatments for mental health, hesitations

(00:15:25) Why my chronic pain & dissociation was pivotal in ultimately deciding to pursue ketamine

(00:20:46) The state of ketamine clinics & loopholes amongst the psychedelic renaissance

(00:26:18) My past psychedelic experiences, why I didn't consider self-administration or clinical trials

(00:33:47) Consideration & rationale of various aspects of clinical ketamine treatments:

  • Different clinical methods of ketamine administration
  • Different protocols and dosing schedules
  • Financial considerations
  • Insurance coverage
  • Chronic pain protocol vs. mental health protocols
  • Hypothesized treatment effects from various protocols/dosages

(00:44:42) The variability and conflicting results of various ketamine studies, and how I considered this in my decisions

(00:47:00) Deciding to move forward, all the considerations in planning treatment schedule

(00:48:27) Ketamine treatments alone vs. ketamine-assisted therapy, subversive tactics used by clinics to claim mental health treatments, my stipulations for customizing treatment for maximum benefit

(00:57:47) The ultimate uncertainty of experimental treatments, making the most informed choices possible amongst conflicting and ever-evolving information, accepting calculated risk

(01:02:50) Conclusions, what's coming in part 2 of the Ketamine Diaries next week, thank you!


I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!


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Feb 27, 202301:07:22
05. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher

05. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher

In episode 5 of A Chat with Uma, I share my full journey of psychedelic experiences from 2019 to now. I share the contexts surrounding my various decisions to engage in psychedelic experiences, detail the decision-making around my thought processes, provide hindsight awarenesses of crucial contextual information that was missing during some of those experiences, and how I have implemented my awarenesses into my overall decisions around psychedelic use for both treatment and personal exploration purposes. I share the journey of how psychedelic experiences and lived experiences with conditions led me to pursue psychedelic research questions as a neuroscientist and graduate student. This episode continually challenges the stigma of self-disclosure of psychedelic experiences, addressing the harms of suppressing open discussion of experiences from those of varied identities & medical conditions - with an ultimate call-to-action encouraging the amplification of voices to reduce harm and increase targeted & informed research questions. This episode provides my full, uncensored, comprehensive journey with psychedelics, and closes with the implications of my personal AND clinical treatment experiences on my decisions moving forward.


Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Welcome, podcast updates, upcoming events

(00:09:25) Intro to episode, pre-frames, why I'm doing this episode, important disclaimers

(00:25:21) 2019: Beginning psychedelic explorations, first experiences with DMT

(00:45:25) Lifechanging DMT experience, metaphorical death

(00:53:57) Direct excerpts read from DMT death experience, hindsight reflections, intersections with abusive therapist

(01:10:05) 2020: Psilocybin experiences, unaddressed OCD effects, microdosing psilocybin

(01:31:49) 2021: OCD relapse, starting proper treatment, break from psychedelics, context built around previous experiences

(01:33:37) Importance of sharing our  experiences for harm reduction & furthering research, how experiences informed my research personally

(01:39:00) 2022: major depressive episode, microdosing psilocybin in a different context

(01:44:17) My first MDMA experience, how it differed from my previous psychedelic experiences

(01:50:00): End of 2022 to beginning of 2023: Overview of clinical ketamine treatments

(01:54:11) Ketamine treatments: what worked, what didn't, facing suicidality, what I ultimately learned, my plan(s) moving forward with psychedelics

(02:01:00) Ending reflections, summary, closing


I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

Referenced Links:

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Feb 20, 202302:06:41
04. My Mental Health Journey: Part 3

04. My Mental Health Journey: Part 3

In part 3 of this episode of A Chat with Uma, I share the third + final (for now!) part of my full + lifelong story with mental health. This part 2 episode serves to share my mental health journey from 23 to 26 (now), when I began working with an unethical and abusive therapist. This episode goes through my experiences with navigating unhealthy therapist dynamics, relentlessly seeking proper treatment for my conditions, the ways treatment has and has not worked, navigating my OCD and PTSD comorbidity, medication decisions, regaining more functionality, going through extensive psychological and cognitive assessments, and where I am now + where I am going.

The diagnoses & conditions discussed include: OCD, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, C-PTSD, panic disorder, suicidal ideation, PTSD, bulimia, dermatillomania, trichotillomania, neurodivergence, sensory processing disorder, and non-verbal learning disabilities.

This episode series serves to provide a deeper context into my complex, nuanced, and lifelong journey with mental health, as most of my work as a neuroscientist, researcher, mental health peer specialist, advocate, educator, organizer, and podcaster all comes from this journey. To that end, I give a high-level overview of:

  • Diagnoses + misdiagnoses
  • Incorrect & harmful treatment
  • Unethical, illegal, & abusive therapy
  • Medical gaslighting
  • Road to proper diagnoses + treatment
  • Intersectional identities & how they mediated my journey
  • Treatment attempts
  • Medication
  • Types of therapy
  • The PTSD & OCD comorbidity
  • Functionally dynamic PTSD & OCD
  • Major depressive episode(s)
  • Psychedelics
  • Psychological and cognitive testing/assessments + my results
  • Where I am + where I'm going

Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Intro, preframes, & disclaimers

(00:06:03) 23: Relationship with abusive + unethical therapist

(00:12:30) Going back to school, physical functionality vs. untreated mental illness

(00:20:16) EMDR therapy for PTSD, how it didn't work because of OCD

(00:31:21) Beginning treatment for the cult, religious & spiritual abuse

(00:33:18) How + why I finally left my unethical therapist

(00:43:14) 24: Pandemic waning, OCD relapse, how I learned about + sought proper treatment for the first time

(00:56:31) Beginning proper OCD treatment, PTSD & OCD comorbidity, complications that arose from functionally dynamic relationship

(01:14:00) Medication update + choices

(01:23:48) Beginning with a new OCD therapist, seeking psychological testing

(01:33:13) Depression, microdosing, dissonance between outward circumstances vs. internal suffering, losing hope

(01:39:25) Psychological & cognitive testing, overview of all the results, rationality as a coping skill

(02:01:00) Where I am now, where I'm going, lessons, reflections, take-aways, empowerment, and closing


I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

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Feb 13, 202302:15:27
03. My Mental Health Journey: Part 2

03. My Mental Health Journey: Part 2

In part 2 of this episode of A Chat with Uma, I share the second part of my full + lifelong story with mental health. This part 2 episode serves to share my mental health journey from 18 to 23, when I began receiving more regular care, yet received many versions of misdiagnosis and incorrect treatment. This episode also provides context around how I received an OCD diagnosis, the mistreatment I experienced, and the beginnings of an unethical and abusive relationship with a therapist at 23.

The diagnoses & conditions discussed include: OCD, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, C-PTSD, panic disorder, suicidal ideation, PTSD, bulimia, dermatillomania, trichotillomania, neurodivergence, sensory processing disorder, and non-verbal learning disabilities.

This episode series serves to provide a deeper context into my complex, nuanced, and lifelong journey with mental health, as most of my work as a neuroscientist, researcher, mental health peer specialist, advocate, educator, organizer, and podcaster all comes from this journey. To that end, I give a high-level overview of:

  • My transition to college
  • Diagnoses
  • Misdiagnoses
  • Improper treatment
  • Neglect + abuse
  • Treatment attempts
  • Medication
  • Types of therapy
  • Mistreatment & abuse in therapy
  • Comorbidities
  • Intersectional identities & how they mediated my journey

Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Intro, reframes, & disclaimers

(00:08:32) ~18: Pre-law, transition to college

(00:16:36) 18-20: College attempt 1, becoming more dysfunctional, OCD & failing classes

(00:22:39) Therapist and psychiatrist experiences in college; 2 years of misdiagnosis and incorrect treatment; Medication issues

(00:32:59) 20-21: Leaving college, starting music school, ineffective therapy, living with my partner, the experience that led me to recognize I may have OCD & seek out treatment

(00:47:45) 21-22: Seeking treatment for OCD, receiving negligent and incorrect treatment, how OCD got worse, therapist red flags, contraindicated OCD treatment, leaving this therapist

(00:54:32) 22-23: Cancer diagnosis, new therapist, PTSD diagnosis, navigating cancer treatment, rock bottom, unethical and abusive therapist relationship, incorrect treatment making OCD worse, not helping PTSD, seeking out EMDR

 (01:05:59) Closing, overview of part 3 coming next Monday!

I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

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Feb 06, 202301:10:37
02. My Mental Health Journey: Part 1

02. My Mental Health Journey: Part 1

In part 1 of this episode of A Chat with Uma, I share the first part of my full + lifelong story with mental health. This episode serves to provide the context and story for part 1 of my journey - from birth to 18, before I received any level of consistent treatment by medical professionals. The diagnoses & conditions discussed include: OCD, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, C-PTSD, panic disorder, suicidal ideation, PTSD, bulimia, dermatillomania, trichotillomania, neurodivergence, sensory processing disorder, and non-verbal learning disabilities. This episode series serves to provide a deeper context into my complex, nuanced, and lifelong journey with mental health, as most of my work as a neuroscientist, researcher, mental health peer specialist, advocate, educator, organizer, and podcaster all comes from this journey. To that end, I give a high-level overview of:

  • My early signs + symptoms
  • Diagnoses
  • Misdiagnoses
  • Lack of access to treatment
  • Neglect + abuse
  • Treatment attempts
  • Medication
  • Types of therapy
  • Mistreatment & abuse in therapy
  • Comorbidities
  • Intersectional identities & how they mediated my journey
  • Where I'm at right now + what's next

Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:01:00) Purpose of this episode, background, my intentions, and disclaimers

(00:10:00) 0-12: Family background, culture, childhood symptoms

  • OCD, depression, anxiety, C-PTSD, neurodivergence, gifted program, sensory processing disorder, non-verbal learning disability

(00:25:30) 12-15: Middle school, (CW) sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, mental institution, joining the cult, starvation, dieting, developing bulimia, high school

(00:48:31) 15-18: High school, medication, numbness, dissociation, therapy attempts

(00:53:00) Reflections: lack of treatment vs. mistreatment, lack of diagnosis vs. misdiagnosis, neglect, abuse, closing out

I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

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Jan 30, 202358:05
01. My Full Story: 0 to 26

01. My Full Story: 0 to 26

On this inaugural episode of A Chat with Uma, I begin the podcast by sharing my full story: a high-level overview of the overall journey that my life has taken so far, given my extremely non-traditional and rather eventful background. This episode serves as a basis and framework to understand the vantage point and perspective(s) that I'm coming from in this show. My story, told in full for the first time here, will give you insight into the questions I ask, the conversations I have, the topics I explore, and the depth of honesty that I navigate ideas with.

Topics covered in this episode + timestamps:

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:01:56) Purpose of episode, disclaimers, & pre-frames

(00:09:12) Family background, childhood, mental & physical illness

(00:25:00) Middle school, CW: sexual abuse, mental illness

(00:32:25) Professional singing career

(00:35:00) South Asian & bicultural identity

(00:37:28) Joining a religious cult at 14

(00:43:20) High school, cult, poor grades, debate & law school, mental & physical illness cont.

(00:49:00) College, failing, cult, dropping out, meeting my (now) husband

(01:01:00) Cult hiatus, music school, OCD diagnosis, singer/songwriter career

(01:03:25) Cancer diagnosis, losing my voice, psychedelics, losing my identity

(01:11:20) Going back to school, redeeming myself, getting my degree, psychology to neuroscience, grad school, research

(01:21:15) Leaving the religious cult fully, the cult of spirituality

(01:26:05) Becoming a board-certified Mental Health Peer Specialist

(01:28:50) Becoming an advocate and organizer

(01:31:35) My future, what I'm doing and where I'm going next

(01:36:00) The future of this show, closing of the episode


I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!

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Jan 23, 202301:38:32
00. Trailer & Show Intro

00. Trailer & Show Intro

Welcome to A Chat With Uma! I'm Uma R. Chatterjee, a person holding many identities - a neuroscientist, researcher, board-certified Mental Health Peer Specialist (MHPS), mental health advocate, International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) Advocate, organizer, community builder, communicator... and most importantly, someone with vast lived experiences with mental health, chronic illness, young-adult cancer, and survivorship.

On this show, I bring all of my identities together to bring you honest and unfiltered conversations exploring our true human experiences in their fullest form. Every week, I’m bringing you conversations bridging the gap on all things neuroscience, psychology, mental health, lived experience, advocacy, psychedelics, research, and more. We'll have conversations with scientists, clinicians, thought leaders advocates, humans with lived experience, creators, innovators, and truth tellers - speaking with people from all different identities and backgrounds to learn from their expertise AND explore how they themselves navigate their lives!

This is a space for raw, unfiltered truth, to truly explore ourselves for who we are and how we are. We look at our TRUE, unfiltered, raw, human experiences with vulnerability, honesty, compassion, curiosity, and empowerment. We explore who we are, how we are, how we exist and show up in the world, how our experiences, identities, environments, and biology shape us; and we witness our resilience, empowerment, nuance, choice, and acceptance of ourselves and our realities.

I cannot wait to connect with you, answer all of your questions, and co-create this with you. Welcome to a Chat with Uma!


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Jan 16, 202306:21