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By Eden & Simona
Best known for their signature “crackhead energy” and their balancing act of contagious laugher and wisdom, Eden Mitelman and Simona Catalano let their word-vomit reveal their deepest, most hilarious, and fucking relatable thoughts. They will not only make you laugh, but inspire you to do and be more, for yourself.
Known for pushing healthier narratives in the millennial world of sex, dating, and love, the duo make it their mission to keep shit unfiltered… Because, well… They really don’t have one.
Listen to the realest best friends - the ones who actually have your best interest at heart.
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TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault. If you haven't listened to our kinks & fetishes episode, this is your sign to do so because this episode is a PRIME example of how things can go too far when people get too wrapped up in their kinks and fantasies.  We explain what "Consensual Non-Consensual" sex is, what to be aware of and the links between trauma and sexual kinks. 
June 16, 2022
WE ARE HITTING THE REFRESH BUTTON FOR JUNE. Welcome to pop culture 101- potentially an ongoing series, if we are vibing. Today we are discussing a very important pop culture relationship. OBVIOUSLY, Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian (aka KRAVIS). The two got married in Portofino and we have opinions! Did the wedding live up to the hype?  Was the theme giving or did it fall short of our expectations? Also included, is the sometimes very awkward and uncomfortable PDA. What is the actual deal with that?  We get into our feelings around our man being that publicly affectionate and where we draw the line on that. In other news, we have a big reveal for you. Are we Tana Mongeau STANS? Are we divided on this?  Don’t worry we made a pros and cons list to fio.  Last, but surely not least we discuss IN DETAIL burning questions about body hair on our partners. What are our preferences? Where is the line? How HAIRY was Eden's ex?! We cover all the hairy bases on this one.  Enjoy these pop culture vibes besties !
June 08, 2022
Welcome to INTUITION 101.  This is one of the most importance courses you will ever take, & we’re giving you the basics on a silver platter. Make no mistakes, it’s a lot of work BUT it’s extremely rewarding. Imagine having an internal voice that always knows what the best thing for you is? YES, this is REAL. So many of you have been asking about how to trust our intuition in relationships, but before we can understand and read our intuition in those circumstances, we need to learn how to tune into ourselves FIRST. In this episode we discuss what your intuition really is, what it feels like, how to hone in on it, and ultimately, how to trust yourself.  We give you tangible tips that you can begin to apply immediately that will help connect you with yourself to understand what you feel & why.  The more you work on connecting with yourself  the better you’ll be at predicting and sensing things before they come to light…you’ll basically be psychic.  Let's get to it.
May 26, 2022
Summer is approaching! To prep you, we're starting off with a Hinge hack you need to know and have never heard of, a detailed discussion on eye-fucking, and hypotheticals you NEED to think about before you decide to date "casually" this summer. Have your pen & paper OUT. We go over some common scenarios where casually dating can get messy & save your cute little asses with some solutions! Being the gracious queens that we are... We are GIVING U THE ULTIMATE FUCKING TIP on how to handle running into your situation-ship while he’s out with another babe.  If you've been struggling with bringing up the "what are we?" conversation, we give you the 411 so you can handle that conversation like boss babe. If that’s not enough we also throw in how to state your intentions without sounding needy or clingy.  And as for that Hinge hack... Simona is about to blow your minds and make you rethink all the potential matches coming your way this summer. Proceed with caution babes! Stories are shared, tangible tips are given... THIS EPISODE IS VERY MUCH GIVING. 
May 13, 2022
GOOD friends - we’re talking about those really good friends... The pick-up-the-phone-in-the-middle-of-the-night friends; the "I’m coming to get you" type; the ride-or-dies. We are all looking to build that essential tribe of empowered female friends but, in your twenties it can be challenging to find them. In this episode, we are giving you our best and most tangible tips on how and where to start making friends in your city & online. Just like you would shoot your shot in dating, making friends draws a lot of similarities. We’ve packed a lot of examples and reminders that will help you navigate finding your girl gang.  Don’t stress if you are alone right now - so many of us are - just know, if all else fails, you’ve got us.
April 27, 2022
CAUTION: This episode will make you wet. We are breaking down our top 3 favourite sex positions, why we love them and when we mix them in. Today's episode isn’t just about us... We are giving back to the community by sharing all the ways you can leverage these positions to have the most fun & steamy sex sessions.  If you want to make your partner lose their minds, then listen closely. We give you our top tips for mastering morning sex, public sex, and “reward-him” sex. We even discuss objects that might be worth thinking about incorporating…  And to FINISH on a strong and satisfying note, we take you through our personal ideal sex scenarios that will leave you inspired to start thinking about what yours is! 
April 20, 2022
Ladies, it's time to add masturbating to your self-care routine.  We are about to make masturbating a part of your DAILY convo. We should be sharing our experiences, not hiding it. Don't worry, we will go first. In this episode, we get sexy with ourselves and share our tips when it comes to masturbating and getting comfortable with yourself in the bedroom - with or without a partner. We share specific ways you can experiment with yourself that will help improve your confidence in bed.  Of course you get some personal stories about our masturbating and fucking adventures...  Ladies, this time we are asking you bring a notebook to class because we are giving you homework that will set you up for the best sex and orgasms of your life. It's time to fuck yourself right and make it an experience. You deserve it. 
April 11, 2022
THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS. We heard a lot of you are struggling with the dating app game... We've seen the slide-ins, and they are WEAK. Don't fret - we cover how to shoot your shot correctly and how to increase your chances of winning. Get ready to take notes.  In this episode we get VERY specific on how to slide in, get her attention, start a fruitful conversation, and stand out! This episode is essentially a HOW-TO and a WHAT NOT TO DO guide all wrapped in one. CLASS IS IN SESSION. CLASS ITINERARY: - How to utilize your personality to create a unique slide-in - How to find and build off of a possible point of connection, while standing out - What part of her profile you should be commenting on and what to stay away from - WHAT NOT TO SAY: conversation killers - WHAT TO SAY: conversations starters - How to deal with being ghosted or left on read We read through messages we have personally received that have worked and the slide-ins that we ignored and explain why.  You have a lot to learn, but we are glad you are here.  Get ready to win, daddies.
March 30, 2022
WOMEN HAVE BEEN FED LIES. THAT ENDS HERE. Time for a reality check ladies! This episode has one goal and one goal only: to get you to choose yourself. It is time to erase all the shit that isn’t serving you, and reprogram the shit that will. We run through core fundamentals that will have you prepped to enter the best years of your life, attracting the right people, and succeeding in all that you do. Sounds too good to be true? UNLEARN THAT. Speaking of unlearning… Let’s talk about that ex you keep running back to, the loser you keep trying to mold to be your man, and that guppy you keep trying to convince to stick around… WE ARE ABOUT TO TALK SOME SENSE INTO THAT BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF YOURS. We answer some of the advice-related DMs you have been sending in… It’s not the answers you’re expecting… Tough love coming through! You are the whole package bitch. You’ve just been at the wrong address. Welcome home.
March 24, 2022
POV: Your best friend just got herself a new man! How are you feeling bestie? We cover all the bases here from your relationship with her man, to you and her. While having a relationship with her new boo is important, we explore how sometimes that might not be in the cards and that is okay!  We discuss our personal boundaries when it comes to being friends with your bestie’s hubby & how to respect those boundaries to make sure everyone is happy.  Besties, if you’re feeling a little bit of BFF abandonment anxiety that is totally normal!!!!  Simona is going to tell you how to navigate & communicate these feelings to her! We even sprinkle in some tips about how to win your bae’s boys over and our rules on what to avoid & why. To our daddies, we’ve given you the key to success: get on the best friend’s good side, and nobody gets hurt. 
March 17, 2022
POV: You met the man of your dreams, you end up in his bed, things are getting streamy and suddenly... he asks you to eat his ass. WTF DO YOU DO?! In this episode we offer two differing perspectives on your man and his butthole. Are you for it, scared SHITLESS (pun intended), or unsure?  Regardless of where you're at... Eden's got you ;)  First we break down what ass play is. What does it look like? How do you do it? What are our tips for beginners?  If you're not interested in his buns and would rather pass on that meal & only take his sausage, we get it. We address the hype and the pressure that comes along with it, your comfortability level, valid concerns & the potential of it being a dealbreaker.  As always, we tried our best to be informative and inclusive of everyone's choices when it comes to ass play. Whether you feel judged about being open to it, curious to engage or completely uninterested, we hit all the bases.
March 09, 2022
To our aspiring daddies, this is you Hinge guide on what NOT to do & how to make your dating profile pop! We talk prompts, pictures & suggestions that will save your ass. For our baddies looking for daddies, this is your sign to start shooting your fucking shot. We get that rejection stings, and most girls don’t talk about it enough, but we are here to share our experiences to help you gain some courage and momentum to keep going regardless of how hard a guppy drops the fucking ball. What does it mean if you’ve exchanged numbers and socials, but then he suddenly dips? He went MIA after a fabulous convo? Should you double text just to see what’s up?  Hold on, don’t hit send just yet.. Listen to us first. Simona shares her story about a missed opportunity she had with a potential New York daddy. We are currently on a manhunt for this man. If you know him, please send him our way. Moral of the story: close your eyes, jump into that cab… and don’t forget your salt shaker.
March 03, 2022
In this episode we dive straight into the controversial topic of men and their money when it comes to dating: paying the bill, the embarrassing 50/50 concept, and what being a “MAN” is really about. It extends beyond actual monetary value… but we know some of you just won’t get it. We teach you what shark energy is, how to get what you want as a man, and how to get a girl into her most authentic feminine energy. If we were men, you all would be finished. Steve Harvey, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Dan Bilzerian make guest appearances. And LADIES - we threw in a little pep talk to motivate you to stay in alignment no matter how many disappointing guppies are in the way. The key is to masturbate & make your own money, and you’ll find your daddy shark in no time. To top it off, we revisit the craziest day we experienced in Vegas and Simona’s new business venture that will wipe out Uber Eats. SHARE THIS EPISODE TO WIN A TRIP TO VEGAS WITH YOUR TRUE BESTIES.
February 24, 2022
You're about to get a glimpse into a side of fetishism that no one talks about.  Sure feet are cool, but where is the fucking line?! How far is too far? Can you ever go back? Is this a dealbreaker?  In this episode we let you in on all of our thoughts and feelings surrounding the fetish community based off of our personal experiences. You know how it goes - we don't hold back, so brace yourselves.  We are here to cut the crap and sober your horny brains up. We discuss the extremes and potential dangers, as well as the inherent pressure of engaging in fetishistic activities to fulfill your partner's fantasies.  And of course we discuss if whether or not we have any kinks and fetishes of our own...  -------- We reviewed the research post-recording and we were spot-on: "Fetishistic fantasies are common and in many cases harmless. According to the DSM definition, they should only be treated as a disorder when they cause distress or impair a person's ability to function normally in day-to-day life."  We are by no means shaming anyone who has their own thing, as long as they are safe and respectful to their partners. Our bottom line message is: Anything extreme is not healthy. If you are risking your life or someone else's, that is problematic. We do not condone anyone trying anything that they are not consenting to or comfortable with. 
February 16, 2022
SINGLE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? NOT WITH YOUR PARTNER? DO YOU HATE THIS HOLIDAY? Okay, cool, same. We dropped the first of many itty-bitty cute little "minis", just for you! In this episode we go IN on WTF this holiday is really about, why it makes everyone feel like absolute shit, and how you can pivot and actually make it a YOU-Day.  Regardless of your relationship status, you CAN and SHOULD celebrate love with or without another person, today and everyday.  We give you some ideas on what to do instead of scrolling & moping, and how to thrive in your circumstances, right now. Thank you for listening and losing our minis virginity with us!
February 14, 2022
NO NEED TO PANIC. WE ARE BACK. After a much needed break, your favourite duo is back on the mic!  Where have we been? Where are we currently at? How was 2021 really? Who got punched in the face and who swung? No more seasonal breaks - we are back & badder... for better or worse. We may just be your longest relationship yet... SO MUCH MORE TO COME... ARE YOU READY?!
February 09, 2022
HERE IS WHY NO ONE IS ANSWERING YOUR WEAK-ASS SLIDE-INS. This season finale will have you prepped to hop onto any dating app or into anyone's DMs confidently. The golden nuggets are crispier and juicier than ever. We reveal the worst slide-ins we have ever received, as well as some of the best… & steamiest… We give you so many examples to implement, while helping you figure out your voice and narrative when it comes to online flirting, sexting, and dating. We share how we slide in and what our personal tactics are… If your notebook isn’t filled with stellar hacks and tips from the past few episodes, now it fucking will be. Call us your coaches because we are helping you train some major muscle, that will not only ensure greater success in your dating life, but will help with your communication skills as a whole. Bigger Balls SEASON 2 is coming NOVEMBER 2021. The off-season is during Simona & Eden’s birthdays so stay tuned for some insane content on our YOUTUBE channel (where we post 2x a week), IG, Tiktok & Twitter! @URBLOCKED_ Don’t forget to look out for the “slide-in challenge” - where we pick the best slide-ins & do a free 20 FaceTime call with you!!
September 02, 2021
Just two besties in a "TESTY" on their way to make you question all that you THOUGHT you knew about dating rosters and rotations! Is there a difference between the two? Did we put all our eggs in one basket or are there several? How many people on a roster is too many? In this week’s episode, you will be challenged to think why you’re dating the way that you are. We reveal some harsh underlying truths about having a roster and/or a rotation of options, why we choose to date the way we currently do, and how we got here. You already know we threw in some major tips on how to run your rotations successfully, if you truly are today’s Samantha Jones... But first we check you, so you don't wreck you. Dating casually isn't always as it seems so if you feel like you are lost in the fucking sauce of options, we’ve got a few things you need to get in order immediately... LISTEN UP, BUTTERCUPS.
August 25, 2021
IS YOUR MAN SLIDING INTO OTHER GIRL’S DMs?! Don’t worry, we put him & your girlfriends on blast. In this steamy episode, we get excited in every sense, to discuss the fundamentals of girl code, thirst traps, and our OF accounts, PLUS a deep dive into experimental sex, including threesomes and sex parties… We spill the tea: IS EDEN REALLY OPENING UP AN ONLYFANS ACCOUNT? WHAT PICS IS SIMONA POSTING TO HER CLOSE FRIENDS LIST? HAVE THEY HAD A THREESOME?! Speaking of threesomes, do those really work? Based off of our experiences (which we obviously share), we explain when and how it could work, and why and how it could be an absolute disaster… Eden might be kicking a few people off the bed… We go into the importance of "back-to-basics" sex and why experimenting too much can be a bigger issue in your relationship... Let us blow your minds.
August 18, 2021
DO YOU EVEN HAVE YOUR CLARITY GOGGLES ON? Don’t worry, we got you, like always. In this fully loaded episode, we get ruthless about the whole “when is it too soon to sleep with him” question and explain when that rule applies and when it makes no sense. How about a one-night-stand, you ask? Well baddies & daddies, listen here, we talk about how to do it right and make it hella chic. We make our way into scary territory… & dive into HOW TO GET OVER your stupid smelly ex. Like we always say, there are “phases and stages” to this shit, and we are here to confess just how long you can expect it to take and when we truly got over our exes. Eden literally got over him yesterday at 2pm. But what if the exes slide back in after you have attempted to move on? Why isn’t he blocked? Or do we fuck with a “mute” vibe? And that’s just the tip of iceberg. All that and more, so come join us for an actual BTS of our BFF girl talk.
August 11, 2021
LET’S GET VULNERABLE AS FUCK. Simona popped a perc by accident. Eden’s therapist called her a sensitive bitch. Both failed math in high school. It’s called character building! In today’s episode we dive into when we realized we were Hyper Sensitive People, what that means, and what day-to-day struggles we face… And it is not what you’d expect. We take a fucking journey into the past and share with you all the pressures and stress of trying to figure out who we are… ARE WE FUCKING FRAUDS THOUGH? Sprinkle in some social anxiety and shitty dates, and you have a massively important & entertaining episode. We continue to break through the basic-bitch boxes people try to put us in and this episode will encourage you to do the same. We are out here killing the misconceptions and people’s stupid perceptions, while looking good doing it! Let’s go babies.
August 05, 2021
WE DOWNLOADED A DATING APP & SHIT WENT DOWN. What is up with these guys on here? You make plans and then decide not to follow through? Let’s talk about it… In this episode we call out the little boys who stood us up and shout out the real men who showed the fuck up! After a Hinge fuckboy or two, Eden goes on her very first date after years of being in relationships. We dissect and critique it for educational purposes. You’re going to want to take notes for this one. We break down what makes a first date successful, as well as give you TANGIBLE tips and examples to crush your first date nerves, and kill it with confidence, charisma, and sexiness. You’re going to want to write these down.
July 28, 2021
WHEN HE SAYS HIS FYP IS GLITCHING… THE URBLOCKED GIRLS COME IN SWINGING. Welcome back baddies & daddies! In today’s extra saucy episode, we respond to some of your burning DMs and give you our realest advice on some of the shit you ladies are going through! We discuss how to be a better communicator with your partner, while giving you some MAJOR life-saving tips you have to implement right away! We also go HAM on Johnny’s ass about his Instagram activity, while also addressing why so many of us put up with bad behaviour in relationships and ultimately what that truly says about our self worth. OH & we also got FINED $$$?!… LISTEN TO FIND OUT WHY.
July 21, 2021
AN HOUR OF PURE GOLD. In an effort to describe our type, we stumble into several semi-related topics that are BEYOND crucial when dating. We deep-dive into masculine and feminine energy, and how those energies directly influence whether or not there will be balance in your relationships. While describing in DETAIL what our type may be and the guys we have been attracted to, we come to one ultimate conclusion: How someone makes you feel is more important than how they look, and that’s FACTS. As we pound down on these bigger concepts, we obviously make it a priority to make you pee your pants. CLEAN UP ON AISLE 5. We also give you the 411 on Simona’s real laugh, the rumours surrounding Eden’s height, hats & hairlines & so much more so buckle up.
July 14, 2021
THE BANDAID CAME OFF, AND THE WOUNDS WERE BURNING. Eden looses a tooth and Simona welcomes her to the Singles Club for the first time EVER. In today’s episode, we go through the struggles we have and are currently facing in our single life, while also exploring all that we have learned and have yet to learn. We get vulnerable about feeling lonely, our bandaid boyfriends, unhealthy distractions, and the external pressures of getting into a relationship. Will we die alone? And so what if we do? We flip the bullshit idea of “singleness” on its stupid head and give you the inspiration you need to survive, thrive, and embrace this chapter, or this WHOLE NOVEL.
July 07, 2021
WELCOME BADDIES & DADDIES (IYKYK) to BIGGER BALLS. This was definitely worth the fucking wait! If you’re new to the URBLOCKED family… Welcome! We are obviously serving a lot of crackhead energy, with a side of life lessons, and the semi-woke sauce. In the spirit of today’s episode we waste no time. We have jam packed 52 fucking minutes of absolutely funny, charming, witty and inspirational dating nuggets for you. From self-discovery to toxic dating behaviours, we spill the fucking tea. We really are getting naked with you and sharing some personal stories and confessions, as we explore our “deep” side to share our hard-earned wisdom with you all. It’s going to be hard to live up to this first episode but we’re up for the challenge. See you back here next Wednesday! DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A 5-STAR REVIEW! 
June 30, 2021