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REAL Talk with Ophelia

REAL Talk with Ophelia

By V. Ophelia Rigault
REAL TALK with Ophelia is a solo podcast series hosted by TV Host, Speaker, Grief Educator and Sassy Trinidadian-Canadian V. Ophelia Rigault. Ophelia speaks directly to topics of the transformative, uncomfortable and yet powerful power of grief. She also shares how racism, privilege, and mental health wellness greatly affect how we grieve. Ophelia does this in short-bit-sized snippets. Each episode is about 5 to 15 minutes in length. New episodes generally drop every Friday.
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Children Grieve Differently
A child may go from crying one minute to playing the next. It's important to be developmentally appropriate when supporting them. Have a listen as I share 10 tips on how to help your child process their emotions around grief and loss. 
06:07
September 23, 2021
What is REAL Talk
In this episode, I introduce you to the history behind the new name of the podcast. It all has to do with a Trinidadian story.  Have a listen, Ophelia 
06:07
September 10, 2021
Grief of Disappointment
The word disappointment originates from the Old French word désappointer which means “to deprive of an office or position.” In relationships, when we feel disappointed in a person - we are feeling we have been deprived of the potential (the hope) we had in them and for them. This is the grief of disappointment.  We had hope in that person, and they did not live up to our idea of who they should/can be. Is it about them, or is it about YOU?
09:46
July 9, 2021
Stop Silver-lining It
I have no problem with you seeing the bright sides of things, or being optimistic or having a positive personality. I am a very positive person. However, when we don't let others sit with their pain, share their pain - and rush to put a fancy bow on their pain - we are 'SILVER-LINING IT".  We do this for a variety of reasons.  When we insist on finding the silver lining to a deep sorrow in someone, we are actually robbing ourselves and of the opportunity to build connection and empathy -  instead, we build disconnection and distrust.  “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” – Alfred Adler.  “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” – John Steinbeck.  “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” – Mother Teresa.
08:13
July 2, 2021
Unspeakable Grief - How to Provide Support
It’s not about saying the right things. It’s about doing the right things.  All loss is tragic however, there are some that are horrific, sudden and unnecessary.  For example: The murder of a family member. The genocide of a community. Natural Disasters such as earthquakes, hurricanes, plane crashes, and building collapses.  The World is shocked. We ask ourselves "How does this happen?" We are overwhelmed by the graphic nature presented to us on the news. Then all of a sudden we pull away - and go back to our world - because to think of it - to sit in it - makes us feel vulnerable. Grief is heavy - and it needs to be witnessed not fixed. 
07:15
June 25, 2021
It's More Than Time to Move Beyond Thoughts & Prayers
 As Martin Luther King, Jr. reminded us more than 50 years ago, “a riot is the language of the unheard.”  Reports of hate crimes are surging in Canada during the COVID-19 pandemic and are on the rise in Muslim, Asian and Jewish communities. Indigenous Communities are dealing with another deep wound of finding over 335 murdered children. Black and Indigenous people are disproportionately amongst the victims of police deadly shootings than White People. We view these stories on social media and the news - we are shocked - we are disgusted - we can't believe it - we become uncomfortable - and then what do we do?  We send our thoughts and prayers and get on with our day.  It's time to do more. 
08:56
June 18, 2021
Your Head Wrap Makes You Look Old
She tried to embarrass me for wearing my headwrap. I had a choice to make.  Should I believe her words or believe my truth.
08:16
June 18, 2021
The Problem is You
Yes, you. The problem in supporting a griever is most times, those who are providing the support.  You tell people "it's time to get over it" and you say things like "they wouldn't want to see you crying so much".  Most times, the problem isn't that people in grief are too much or they feel too much the problem is that grief makes you uncomfortable. It brings up feelings of vulnerability and fears and it may even remind you of your own grief and the people that you are missing.  This episode will give you some tips and how you can support a griever with compassion, patience, understanding and love.
05:23
May 28, 2021
Stop Gaslighting People
Gaslighting is a type of emotional manipulation where one person manipulates another person into questioning or doubting their own reality. Gaslighting occurs in the workplace, in relationships and even occurs when someone is grieving. It's when people say: “Calm down, it did not happen that way.” “Stop being so sensitive or You are overreacting.” “You’re turning this into a bigger deal than it is.” All of these are examples of gaslighting statements. The speaker is intentionally or unintentionally undermining your confidence, which makes you question your perception of reality.  Gaslighting is destructive and it is a type of emotional manipulation that is based on power and control. 
07:15
May 22, 2021
Vicarious Grief - Yes It's Real
Vicarious grief refers to grieving and experiencing pain and loss that is stimulated by someone else's loss. It is generated by another individual's loss who is the actual griever, but you are also "feeling" the pain "vicariously". It's real and it's normal. 
03:18
May 15, 2021
Mother's Day is Not Always a Happy Feeling
Not everyone is having a 'Hallmark Card' moment on mother's day. It can be challenging for many. Some are missing their mothers this Mother's day due to death, illness and/or distance. Some children did not have a positive experience with their mother so is rough. And then there are those who are celebrating having a good mother. No matter where you fall on the spectrum - no you are loved. Blessings, Ophelia www.vopheiarigaut.com
08:21
May 9, 2021
Racism is a Deep Soul Grief
Dealing with the reality of racism is not easy. It is profound. It's a profound hatred by society for those who are Black, Indigounes and other People of Colour. In this snippet episode, I talk about the soul grief of racism and how it tries to make you believe you are not worthy of being your great self. 
05:26
May 8, 2021
Introduction to TGIF Podcast Series
Thank The Grief It's Friday" is a solo-podcast series hosted by TV Host, Speaker, Grief Educator and Sassy Trinidadian-Canadian V. Ophelia Rigault. Ophelia speaks directly to topics of race, mental health, belonging, and other uncomfortable topics in short snippets 5 - 15 minute episodes.  It will be a space on Friday nights where you can explore how grief and loss have impacted and transformed your life. As we come to the end of the week, our regular routines come to a close – and we are left with a void – a quiet time on Friday night, where grief becomes that uninvited dinner guest. We will have an open and brave conversation on what grief recovery and healing "really" looks like and how you can find ways to move through grief and loss and how to transforms your pain into purpose. Starting May 7 - Each episode with drop at 11.30 PM EST. 
01:32
May 1, 2021