Wild Witches
By Valerie Schrader
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Wild WitchesMay 05, 2020
Leaning into nature for healing
Nature teaches us so much and it gives us a clear path to healing and living a more embodied life. Not something society often promotes! So, this episode is dedicated to starting the conversation on why we're so disconnected from nature, how to regain that connection, and how it improves every aspect of our lives!
Listen in now and if you want to join the Elemental Self-Care workshop series you can join here: https://www.valerieschrader.com/
It's not business as usual!
We're dealing with multiple systemic and social issues right now. As a trauma-brained, neurospicy business owner it can be really challenging to navigate what the best move is for us amid so much toxic information from business coaches and professionals out there. You know the stuff that plays into our trauma responses and creates more struggle than clarity. This episode is dedicated to addressing that and what it looks like to build a regenerative business model.
Listen in now and if you're interested in 1:1 support or the Embodied Business Coven you can find out more here:
https://www.valerieschrader.com/
Where have I been and what's to come?!
I took some time off to rest, restructure, and reevaluate how I'm supporting myself so let's talk about it and what you can expect from the podcast moving forward.
Wanna work with me or join my upcoming workshop series Elemental Self Care? Find out more info here: https://www.valerieschrader.com/
You’re not selfish for splurging!!!
As women and vulva owners we’re often taught to feel shame for wanting things or doing nice things for ourselves!
We’re made to feel selfish because of expectations and roles we never signed up for.
We deserve better, we deserve more and to get there we’ve gotta understand why we were taught to believe we deserved less.
Listen in now to hear my thoughts on breaking through this belief to feel worthy of more 💜
My neck injury was affected by childhood trauma
Our bodies are affected by our emotional state and certain types of injuries and illnesses hold different types of wounds.
In this episode, I'm talking about how I reinjured my neck and shoulder and realized it was entirely related to childhood trauma and fears around support and security.
This was all while experiencing the highest level of success I've ever had.
Listen in now to hear my experience and see how it resonates 💗
Shadow work meditation
Understanding our shadow self is the key to moving forward and releasing blocks in our lives.
This meditation is designed to help you start tapping into your shadow to work through specific blocks and issues you keep running into.
Use it to clear and integrate smaller shadows but for more in-depth support reach out for 1:1 coaching!
Dating, Toxic Men, and choosing you with FeelingRandi78
Healing the relationship with your business!
Have you ever found yourself struggling with your business or finances, so you throw more money at it by signing up for courses, coaching, automation, books, and webinars to make things better?
When we do that it's a trauma response and it comes from the same place as all your other relationship issues.
Listen in now to hear my thoughts on this and how to stop throwing money at it to heal it instead💗
How is self-leadership impacted by your inner child?!
Self-leadership drastically impacts our ability to trust ourselves and make decisions for ourselves. But when we have an inner child that's never been given permission to trust themselves we constantly see others as the authority.
Listen in now to hear my thoughts on this 💗
Is your Inner Child Affecting your Health?!
Check out my current offers: https://linktr.ee/valerieschrader
Have you ever noticed every time things start getting better your health turns to shit and it stops you in your tracks?
Maybe it's through an injury.
Maybe through an IBS or migraine flareup.
Or you get the flu right before a big opportunity and you have to bail.
Whatever it is the root cause could be your inner child!
Listen in now and see what I'm talking about and how to heal both your body and mind!
Let your Inner Child Go to the Grocery Store
My recent journey of somatic healing
Real talk… I've had a wild journey recently addressing some longstanding issues of sciatic pain and how that's related to feeling not good enough and carrying some ancestral wounds.
Listen in now to hear how I've moved through this and released a lot of physical pain too 💗
Why I don't like Cord Cutting Rituals
Check out my Clearing & Protecting Your Energy Workshop & current offers: https://linktr.ee/valerieschrader We see cord cutting classes and meditations all over the place and while I love a good witchy ritual to release things that are toxic or no longer serving us...
I don't love trying to do quick-fix rituals when there's deeper trauma or issues that need to be addressed.
As a somatic trauma coach, I'm giving you my perspective on how to best use these rituals and what's most important to deal with. Listen in now 💗
Building a Business is like Growing a Garden
Growing a garden takes time, and patience, and requires us to make small changes over time for sustainable growth!
Creating/growing a business or making big career changes requires the same.
Rush it and you'll find yourself overwhelmed, burned out, resentful, and making bad decisions.
Taking your time leads to step-by-step building a thriving beautiful garden to enjoy for years to come!
Listen in now to hear my experiences with this and how I've helped clients do the same 💗
Are you using your business to get love?!
Journey to Happily Single
You make yourself happy!
De-centering romantic love
Dealing with childhood trauma while caretaking a parent
When a loved one gets sick and we become the caretaker it takes a toll on us. But what no one prepares you for is the unresolved trauma caused by them popping up while caring for them.
Listen in now to hear my experiences with this and how I've dealt with it 💗
Friendship Struggles & Trauma Responses
Friendships are vital to our well-being yet a lot of struggle to create and maintain healthy ones. Why is that and how do we deal with it?
Listen in now to find out
Boundaries, & Self Awareness
By now you may have seen or heard about the toxic AF from Jonah Hill but let's dive deeper into an issue I see a lot of people get into when first starting therapy or diving into the spiritual or wellness world.
Listen in now 💗
The Answer to Burnout isn't Rest!
Understanding the Healing Process
One of the most aggravating things for me to witness are people trying to tell us what methods of healing and resourcing are the best!
Or they try to convince us that we have to use the skills that work for them even if they don't work for us.
In this podcast, I'm breaking down the formula I use with clients to figure out what works best for them!
Listen in, try it, and share it! I hope it helps 💗
Why do we feel so guilty sticking up for ourselves?!
It's not uncommon to feel tons if guilt sticking up for ourselves. At least not for those of us that are used to being daylight, manipulated, and dismissed.
But why do we do this and what do we need to do to stop?!
Listen to this week's episode to understand why and what we need to do to ease the guilt and stick up for ourselves!
You're not broken!
How Needing Approval has Shown up for Me!
We’re diving into to some of my current work around my wounds of needing approval and let me tell you…it’s a doozy! Listen in now and see if you relate!
Welcome to Reclaiming You!
Asking your partner for what you want!
Is body shame messing with spicy time?
Why you're still triggered in the healthy relationship!
This may be why you’re tensing or faking it
What does emotional availability look like?
Do you reject softness as a trauma response?
When we grow without emotional and physical softness and affection we tend to reject it later on. Why do we do this and how can we stop doing it? Listen in to find out!
Embrace your Empowered Self Meditation
Embrace your Empowered Self Meditation
Are you using sex as love?!
Your Fear of Rejection is a Trauma Response!
What is a fear of rejection really?
Well, it's a fear of being abandoned by someone or something.
There are many different core wounds we experience in childhood.
Abandonment is one of those.
Now that doesn't always have to look like your basic needs glimg unmet or a parent being absent.
Abandonment can look like your parent(s):
* Not showing to up to support you for sports/dance/etc. activities.
* Choosing the other parent/a partner over you even when inappropriate.
* Not keeping promises or following through on things they agreed to.
* Ignoring you and neglecting to spend quality time with you.
There’s a lot of other ways this fear of abandonment comes up.
Point is, the fear exists.
That leads to subconsciously or consciously always worrying about being rejected.
Again, the rejection is really this fear of abandonment but you get the point.
You become so worried about being rejected (abandoned) that you begin to anticipate it.
You almost expect it which means you do 1 of 2 things:
1. You sabotage relationships or opportunities because better you get the jump on things falling apart vs them.
Or
2. You give up before you start because you don't trust things will work out so desires, relationships, or dreams go unfulfilled.
Either way, you're missing out on a lot of happiness!
Which leads me to the obvious question?
How do we let go of the fear and start welcoming in our happiness?!
For that you've gotta follow and listen to my podcast 😚
Why our relationship issues stem from our parents!
We also learn expectations and limits on who we get to be from our parents/caregivers.
Actually about 80% of what we believe and think comes from childhood.
As our brains develop and learn to make sense of the world we form beliefs, patterns, and stories based on what we see and experience.
So without examining what we learned and how impacts us we essentially have inner children incharge of things like:
* Relationships
* Intimacy
* Careers
* Finances
and pretty much everything else!
WTF is Embodiment & how can it help you Heal?!
“the human mind is largely determined by the structures of the human body (morphology, sensory and motor systems) and its interactions with the physical environment.”
AKA
Your body and the environment heavily influence what you think and feel!
In childhood, parents that teach us to ignore our feelings or physical boundaries and are controlling cause us to become disembodied.
Are you selfish or did you just not get your needs met?!
Anytime you wanted attention, comfort, toys, clothes, food, activities, to take sports or dance lessons, etc.
You got told you were selfish!
Maybe the word selfish wasn't used but the implication was there when they came back with things like:
"quit asking for that, we don't have the money!"
or
"be happy with what you have"
or
"why are you always asking for things"
There're a million other variations but you get the idea, you were selfish!
Now as an adult you probably struggle with making any requests of people or doing things for yourself.
I know women who will wait until they're in unbearable pain to get a massage.
Then brag about finding a really cheap one because it makes it seems less indulgent aka selfish for getting one.
Yes, sometimes we are on a budget so funds dictate getting a cheaper massage but that's not why we mention the cost.
We do it to avoid seeming selfish and that's true whether or not we have kids.
The truth is you aren't selfish, you just had parents who didn't have the emotional capacity to handle their triggers and trauma when you needed anything.
They shamed you for having needs and wants and yes, wanting the "in clothes" to fit in is a need as a kid, unfortunately.
We know how easy it is to get bullied when you don't have the right...whatever.
What your parent(s) should've said in those moments is:
"I'm sorry you've been made fun of or outcast for not having the right shoes. You don't deserve that. Right now I don't have the funds to buy new ones but let's come up with another solution".
it may not have been the same but you wouldn't have felt selfish.
It goes beyond material things too because we were told we were selfish for our ambition, needs for emotional support, attention, and other things.
The bottom line is you aren't and weren't selfish and it's time to break free of that story!
What ways were you told you were selfish that you want to break free from?
Your inner critic is just trying to protect you!
You ain't shit!!!
You know the voice, it's so critical of you.
It cuts you down and reminds you of every failure you've ever had or any flaw you possess.
It often sounds like one of your parents, making you feel just as small as when you heard/felt similar things as a kid.
It shuts you down and makes it really hard to do anything.
What if I told you that inner criticism is coming from a part that's just trying to protect you.
When the inner criticism starts it's because something about what you're dealing with or working on is reminding this part of the past.
Maybe you're trying to build a business, take a career leap, get a job, start dating again, work on a relationship issue, start a hobby, etc.
Whatever it is reminds this part of you of a time in childhood or as a young adult when you got shut down, criticized, judged, or made to feel bad.
This part probably learned to criticize you because that's how your parent/caregiver shot you down and so it does the same thing.
It's afraid of you experiencing the same intense pain you did when you were younger so it's using whatever it can to stop you.
As much as it sucks to experience the inner critic voice hopefully it helps you understand it's just trying to protect you.
Once you know that it's easier to show understanding and compassion, and then figure out how to soothe it!
Doing that reduces stress and helps you come up with ways to move forward and accomplish what you really want.
Parts Dilemma Meditation
Inner Parent Meditation
What is IFS or parts work?!
"It feels like a part of me just won't let me be happy"
or something similar to that?
Approaches in talk therapy have us looking at ourselves as if we have a singular identity, a singular part of us.
But in IFS or parts work we recognize that there are subconscious parts of us playing out different roles and formed for different reasons.
Think of it like the different hats daily: boss, partner, parent, child, friend, coworker, etc.
Sometimes those hats conflict and collide, some work together and some don't.
That's going on within our minds as well.
We have parts of us in conflict, colliding against what we want to do and who we want to be.
We have parts that are in conflict with each other too.
All these parts are sitting in a secret control room like in Inside Out either working together or fighting one another (or a little of both).
They develop at different stages of childhood and beyond to protect us which isn't always helpful.
Maybe 8-year-old you got made fun of a lot for being the "big kid" so now you either obsessively watch food or workout, causing issues.
Or you hide away to avoid ever being judged so you never start that business you have always wanted to start!
Maybe there's a part that you labeled your "love slut" and that's the version of you so obsessed with finding a partner to love you that you end up dating the worst people.
That love slut learned to do this when you were younger because it never got affection from mom and dad.
These parts all exist; with IFS we identify, understand, and work with them to do something healthier and more helpful.
That way, the issues you're dealing with get addressed and any of the stress, anxiety, depression, etc. they've caused also get addressed.
Best part of this method is once you know how to use it you can do it any time you notice an issue or pattern popping up.
What do you do when you start struggling again after healing
Do you hyper-focus on your partner’s pleasure?
What is Parentification?
Ever experienced being the emotional support system for your parents) growing up?
You know, where they'd dump their relationship, financial, marriage, and other problems on you as if you were their friend or therapist?
Maybe you were responsible for making sure siblings were taken care of.
Maybe you were responsible for taking care of yourself.
Maybe you at some point had to get a job or do things to financially support the family or keep the house.
Yeah, that's called parentification and it has some harsh side effects!
When we experience parentification we can experience:
* A lot of hypervigilance to monitor the needs of others around us.
* Anxiety around trying to care for everything and everyone.
* Hyper Independence because we're used to doing it all ourselves and taking care of everyone.
* Struggling with setting boundaries or speaking up when emotionally tapped out because we're used to being a dumping ground.
* Struggles to create and maintain healthy coping skills because we're used to going until burn out.
Bottom line Parentification steals the ability to be a kid and makes a lot of struggle to prioritize our own rest, play, and needs.
If you feel like you're still struggling with these effects getting support is key!
I've opened up my schedule for more 1:I coaching spots this year.
That includes:
25 90 mins calls
30 mins whatsapp support weekly
Access to my grimoire full of self healing tools, meditations and even business building blueprints.
Plus my Pleasure Healing course with my 4 pt. Somatic trauma healing methodology.
Apply now or book a call to chat!
www.sensual-power.com/one-on-one-coaching
What do you do when you can’t even resource?
For those of us that’s grown up with a lot of childhood trauma or have experienced complex traumas, it can be a struggle to stay positive and take action.
If we get told to do anything it’s to use our resourcing skills or focus on the good things. But in those moments when you’re struggling to resource and focusing on the good things isn’t possible.
So what do we do in those moments?
I’m diving into the extra step for those of us struggling with spiraling thoughts, depression, and anxiety in this episode.
Given the amount of us struggling through trying to heal, I thought this would be the perfect episode to kick off season 4 with. Listen in now and share this with anyone that could use it!
What do you like about yourself that's just for you?
What did you learn about self doubt from your narcissistic parent(s)
Getting Visible with Jessica Lee
Check out all my current offers: https://linktr.ee/sensualpower
For some of us, the idea of getting on camera and talking about our businesses and being vulnerable is terrifying. There are worries about being judged, criticized, seen as not good enough and so much more. So, this week I'm chatting with Video Visibility Business Coach Jessica Lee, the reels queen, about working through the fears and getting comfortable being visible. Jessica's sharing some of her own experiences and the work she does with clients.
Whether you grew up with a narcissistic parent that judged and criticized you, you're worried about your body and weight being seen or you just get really nervous speaking on camera Jessica has invaluable tools and support to help you out.
If you loved what you heard and you wanna find out more about Jessica's mastermind and other offers you can find her here: jessicalee.coaching | Facebook | Linktree and you can follow her on IG @ Video, Visibility & Business Coach (@jessicalee.coaching) • Instagram photos and videos