Wake The F*** Up

This week on Wake the F*** Up, Alix and David sit down with Abel Keough, a remarried widower who has successfully helped thousands of women know if the widowers they’re dating are ready for a serious relationship. Before we dive in to the rest of the episode, we want to give a content warning that this episode contains discussions about suicide as well as infant loss; topics which may be triggering to some of our listeners. Feel free to skip this episode if you need to, or come back when you’re ready. 

To kick off the conversation, Abel shares his personal experience as a remarried widower and discusses his work in helping women navigate relationships with widowers. He has written several books, including “The Wife in the Next Life” and “The Ultimate Dating Guide for Widowers,” and hosts a YouTube channel (@DatingaWidower) full of helpful resources for the widower community, many of which have resonated with Alix. The three move on to discuss the challenges faced by young widowers, the lack of resources available to them, and the importance of setting boundaries with friends and family during the grieving process. 

Later in the podcast, Abel shares his story of losing his pregnant wife to suicide and navigating life after her death. He talks about finding support systems that are understanding and helpful, as well as finding ways to cope with grief such as running or journaling. The conversation also touches on topics like loneliness in grief, shame around suicide deaths, redefining relationships after loss, and starting to date again. Abel emphasizes that there is no specific timeline for when someone should start dating again but cautions against getting into serious relationships too quickly before being emotionally ready. He also advises open communication about dating with family members in order to avoid feelings of betrayal or mistrust later on. Alix and David can relate! Both hosts share their own experiences with anger towards their late spouses and discuss how they worked through it over time.

Abel is the author of four dating guides, a memoir about losing his late wife to suicide and falling in love again, and co-author of a book with his wife, Julianna, about the struggles and questions they had to overcome to take their relationship from dating to marriage. His Dating a Widower YouTube channel contains over 200 videos and valuable advice for widowers and the women who are dating or married to them.

Suicide prevention resources: 

Throughout the month of May, we’re releasing new episodes of the Wake the F*ck Up podcast that are all about mother-child relationships, mothering, the mother wound, and how the experiences you have as a child with your mother or parents can have a huge impact on your attachment style and the relationships you have as an adult.

This week, our hosts Alix and David sit down to discuss a wide range of relationship topics including: 

• Avoidance, especially conflict avoidance

• Suppressed emotions. 

• Unresolved issues with family, generational trauma

• Difficulty trusting others

• Chronic stress and physical health issues

• Overgeneralized beliefs and survival messages

• Strategies for relationship success

Alix kicks things off by addressing some of the most asked questions from our Wake listeners, including “How do I know if I have a generational trauma? What is a generational trauma and how can I heal from that?” Through a traumatic experience (whether inside or outside the home) a person develops fears and survival skills to protect themselves. As each generation follows, these very same survival skills and fears are passed on from parent to children. It’s a complex emotional story that can be hard to untangle, because by the time it comes to you, it can be three to four (or more!) generations deep, following these same thought processes and survival patterns. Generally, people feel very strongly about the thought patterns established generationally, so they can be very defining characteristics. 

Survival skills and fears that are passed down through generations may show up in a variety of different ways, like trust issues, codependency, perfectionism, conflict avoidance or suppressed emotions. Alix and David delve into a discussion about how generational trauma can have a profound effect on family dynamics, particularly focusing on parent-child relationships. The conversation highlights the challenges faced in breaking free from inherited patterns passed down through generations.

Alix and David wrap up talking about ways to heal and break the cycle. For generational trauma, seeking therapy, engaging in somatic work, and reframing perceptions are all tools and resources you can use to address and overcome generational traumas. Breaking free from multi-generational trauma can be hard, and we encourage our listeners to seek out therapy to unravel deeply ingrained behaviors, as well as use other tools and resources to properly heal. At the end of this episode, Alix and David talk about their commitment to break the cycle of trauma for future generations, acknowledging that it takes a lot of work, but it’s an opportunity to heal yourself in the process. 

Connect with us!

Throughout the month of May, Alix and David are discussing psychological and emotional topics related to motherhood and mother-child relationships. This week on the Wake the F*** Up Podcast our hosts take a deeper dive into the concept of Mother Wounds, examining their impact on individuals, particularly in relationships. Alix opens the episode with a question from a listener following last week’s episode on attachment styles, “How do I know if I have a Mother Wound? What are the signs?” 

Alix defines the phrase Mother Wound as “Anything that happened to you in your childhood that was imprinted by your mother and her inability to meet all your emotional needs. If a Mother Wound is severe enough it can create an attachment style or an attachment disorder. A mother wound is like an imprint on your body and it manifests in your deep psyche.”

Alix discusses how so many of the rooted problems that we have in our life come from an inner child wound, whether from your father or your mother or any caregiver. Also recognizing that no parent is perfect and it’s neatly impossible to walk the path of a caregiver and not create some kind of mother wound along the way. 

Alix and David discuss signs of mother wounds, such as being a perfectionist or a people pleaser. These likely begin in your childhood because you’re seeing the approval of your mom, but these wounds can manifest in adulthood in unhealthy ways. Mother wounds can have a detrimental impact on self-worth, relationships, and well-being. 

Later in the episode Alix and David share advice and insights on how to address and heal from mother wounds. 

Our suggestions include:

• Recognizing and understanding codependent patterns

• Setting boundaries

• Practicing self-awareness to acknowledge past traumas 

• Self-care practices and somatic work for healing

• Seeing therapy to address wounds and learn coping strategies 

• Self-compassion, affirmations, and inner child healing practices

Throughout this episode, you’ll hear Alix talk about the importance of reparenting oneself to address and heal from mother wounds. The meeting concluded with discussions on tools for inner child work, shadow healing therapy, and managing depression through self-awareness techniques. Taking care of oneself for personal growth and emotional presence for loved ones was highlighted, with plans for upcoming resources on mother wounds and courses for deeper exploration.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Welcome back to the Wake the F*** Up Podcast. In honor of Mother’s Day (U.S.) this Sunday, May 12, Alix and David sit down to discuss some psychological and philosophical topics around mothering, including the mother wound, attachment theory and styles, and how we become the people that we are in life, through the lens of our mothers or mother figures.

The duo kicks things off by discussing how challenging parenting can be, the concept of the “mother wound” and attachment styles. [Note: If you haven’t heard of attachment styles or haven’t learned what yours is, we have a ton of resources available at the bottom of the show notes.]

From there, the conversation delves into attachment theory, highlighting the impact of early interactions on behaviors and connections with others. As Alix explains, “the mother wound” is a term for the result of things done consciously or unconsciously that result in pain, trauma and unresolved emotions inherited from our maternal lineage. Alix highlights how attachment issues can sometimes be a result of the mother wound. 

Shifting gears, Alix and David start to talk about self-awareness and communication in relationships, particularly for people with a fearful avoidant attachment style. They also share some personal anecdotes to illustrate how past experiences affect current relationships. A topic we come back to often here on the Wake podcast is the importance of creating safe spaces for healing emotional wounds and seeking support that you need.

Stick around for the end of the episode when Alix and David talk about the importance of self-care, especially when it comes to post-natal well-being. A key takeaway here is that a mother’s mental health can have long-lasting effects on her children, as well as future generations. We know our listeners will enjoy this informative and insightful conversation!

Lastly, Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms who listen to our podcast. We honor your passion, effort and the work you’re doing to be the best mom you can be.

Resources:

• More on the Mother Wound: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/201910/the-mother-wound

Buckle up WAKE fam. This is probably our most authentic, most vulnerable and emotional episode yet. We won’t bury the lead - Alix and David are pregnant! Their pregnancy together as remarried widows has been a complex journey. Alix and David kick off this big announcement talking about how emotional it is to make big life choices. And how the trauma, losses, and grief from their pasts have deep great pain and taught them the value in life. David opens up and shares for the first time some of the worries and fears he had during this pregnancy journey with Alix. No spoilers in the show notes, you’ll have to listen to the full episode to hear what happens. 

Alix opens up about how their decision to get pregnant has been bringing up a lot of past pain for her, underscoring her loss of choice in motherhood due to Carl’s cancer. But she is also deeply proud of where she and David are as a couple, and how they got there. As you’ll hear, this episode is all about authenticity and new beginnings, moving on from past pain and choosing life, love, and each other. The weight of Alix and David’s experiences shapes the path towards expanding their family. Yes this is a pregnancy announcement episode, but we’re also talking a lot about grief, resilience, and navigating big choices amidst adversity. 

Throughout this deep and authentic conversation, you’ll hear Alix and David open up about personal loss, trauma, fertility challenges due to cancer, emphasizing authenticity in relationships and navigating grief openly. They discuss healing after loss, rebuilding relationships post-tragedy, blending families from past marriages, and overcoming self-worth fears together. Despite how hard, vulnerable, and scary it feels, Alix and David are confident in choosing authenticity over people-pleasing behaviors every time. This is especially true in regards to starting a family at an older age. It’s a bittersweet conversation for sure, sharing news of expecting a baby while reflecting on shared experiences through loss, growth and waking up. 

Connect with us!

This week the Wake the F*ck Up podcast is all about answering YOUR questions on anxiety.  Alix and David are so excited to share this episode with our WAKE listeners because we had so many of you write to us on social media about your biggest anxiety questions, from basic informational inquiries to deeper personal questions.. 

Q: Can you please give me the science behind anxiety attacks?

Our hosts kick things off with a discussion about the science of why anxiety happens, how it happens in the body, and the difference between anxiety and an anxiety attack. Alix and David also talk through some coping strategies, and the body's response to threats, such as panic attacks. 

Q:  How do you get yourself out of a panic attack?

Here you’ll get some basic information on recognizing, understanding, and managing panic attacks with body awareness. Dr. David gives us a super scientific explanation about panic attacks, and the signs you can look out for to anticipate when anxiety and panic are rising in your body. Alix emphasizes how body awareness can play a role in managing anxiety and panic. Box breathing and other breathing techniques are encouraged, as well as grounding exercises and somatic work.

Q: How do you deal with anxiety around misalignment in relationships or friendships?

Later in the episode they also cover navigating friendships amid misalignments and unhealthy dynamics, and talk about how you can go about setting personal limits and boundaries, and understanding attachment patterns. If you’re curious about attachment theory, you’ll want to stick around as Alix and David discuss various types of attachments, and how early childhood experiences can set these patterns in your life. Releasing control in relationships, breaking patterns of codependency, and fostering secure attachments through self-awareness and effective communication were addressed as key points.

The last part of this week’s episode centers around attachment styles in a family dynamic. You’ll hear our hosts discuss mindful parenting practices and nurturing connections based on mutual understanding and support. 

We want to thank the members of the WAKE community for writing in and sharing their questions with us on this podcast episode. This is a community and we want every episode to connect back to our listeners on the podcast and our friends on social media. 

We also want to make sure you come away from this episode with resources to help you manage your anxiety effectively and holistically. 

This week on Wake the F*ck Up we are diving into part two of our episode about anxiety. In last week’s episode, Alix and David discussed relationship anxiety, red flags and when it’s time to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer serving you. If creating safe spaces for discussing fears and anxieties, especially in relationships, is a topic you’re curious about, we recommend going back and listening to the full episode. 

This week on the podcast, Alix and David talk about  coping strategies for anxiety and how to observe your body’s responses to anxiety. Alix and David kick-off the conversation talking about the role of emotions in the workplace and how problems are best solved with emotional honesty and transparency. This allows you to foster a healthy work environment and support the mental well-being of yourself and the people you work with. 

From there, our hosts discuss anxiety, focusing on understanding and managing it effectively. One tool that Alix touches on is practicing self-compassion by challenging negative self-talk with positive affirmations. The next time you hear negative self-talk happening in your mind, try flipping your inner voice to positive talk. 

Welcome back to the Wake the F*ck Up podcast. This week we are tackling a topic that so many of our listeners have been asking for: relationship anxiety. This is a complex subject and we’ll be sure to link to some resources below because as you’ll hear in this episode, relationship anxiety can come from many different places, and manifest in different ways. 

Alix and David dive into various aspects of anxiety, its origins, and coping mechanisms. Our hosts both share some of their personal experiences with anxiety, and safety vs danger in a relationship. A lot of this comes back to vulnerability and showing up authentically for yourself and your partner. When someone is dealing with anxiety they’re often seeking safety both physically and emotionally. Alix shares her knowledge and insights on how anxiety can originate within the body and manifest physically in different ways. 

One of the keys to coping with anxiety is understanding your nervous system reactions and listening to your body. Alix dives into this topic talking about triggers and distinguishing real danger from perceived threats. It’s also important to be able to differentiate between normal anxieties, like stage fright, and severe forms hindering daily functioning. Our hosts also touch on relationship red flags here like domestic abuse and domestic violence, and the way that those situations can compromise your physical and emotional safety and leave a lasting impact.  

Finding tools that help with your anxiety is a good thing, but as Alix notes later in the conversation, you have to be cautious about toxic coping strategies such as staying busy or hyper-focusing on tasks as an avoidance tactic. Our WAKE wellness app is full of resources and tools you can try for self-soothing techniques, positive self-talk, grounding techniques and linking physical symptoms to underlying emotional issues. Communicating about fears and insecurities and creating a safe space for dialogue is crucial for alleviating anxiety, especially in relationships. 

Alix and David wrap up this episode with a conversation about normalizing feelings of anxiety, practicing self-compassion, and seeking safety amidst fear. In case you missed episode 37 (you need to go back and listen to it right now) vulnerability has been a big topic for us recently and we’re back again, talking about vulnerability and how it’s so essential in addressing anxiety and creating a safe space. 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Transformation house, a local domestic abuse shelter/charity in Texas

Buckle up WAKE fam. This is probably our most authentic, most vulnerable and emotional episode yet. We won’t bury the lead - Alix and David are pregnant! Their pregnancy together as remarried widows has been a complex journey. Alix and David kick off this big announcement talking about how emotional it is to make big life choices. And how the trauma, losses, and grief from their pasts have deep great pain and taught them the value in life. David opens up and shares for the first time some of the worries and fears he had during this pregnancy journey with Alix. No spoilers in the show notes, you’ll have to listen to the full episode to hear what happens. 

Alix opens up about how their decision to get pregnant has been bringing up a lot of past pain for her, underscoring her loss of choice in motherhood due to Carl’s cancer. But she is also deeply proud of where she and David are as a couple, and how they got there. As you’ll hear, this episode is all about authenticity and new beginnings, moving on from past pain and choosing life, love, and each other. The weight of Alix and David’s experiences shapes the path towards expanding their family. Yes this is a pregnancy announcement episode, but we’re also talking a lot about grief, resilience, and navigating big choices amidst adversity. 

Throughout this deep and authentic conversation, you’ll hear Alix and David open up about personal loss, trauma, fertility challenges due to cancer, emphasizing authenticity in relationships and navigating grief openly. They discuss healing after loss, rebuilding relationships post-tragedy, blending families from past marriages, and overcoming self-worth fears together. Despite how hard, vulnerable, and scary it feels, Alix and David are confident in choosing authenticity over people-pleasing behaviors every time. This is especially true in regards to starting a family at an older age. It’s a bittersweet conversation for sure, sharing news of expecting a baby while reflecting on shared experiences through loss, growth and waking up. 

Connect with us!

This week on the Wake the F*** Up! Podcast, Alix and David sit down for a deep dive into living authentically. First up on the docket is people pleasing. As a recovering former people pleaser Alix is an expert on this topic and has been wanting to do an episode about people-pleasing to share her learnings and tips with our listeners. Alix shares her experience with people pleasing as a trauma response, as well as related topics like self-sabotage. 

Later in the episode Alix and David talk more about how past traumas can impact behaviors in current relationships. This will be a familiar theme for any of our listeners who have experienced major loss, grief, or trauma. Alex shares her journey to authenticity after losing her first husband Carl, highlighting that an essential step to embracing authenticity is vulnerability, and one of the big parts of “waking up” comes when you transition from valuing the appearance of happiness, to genuine contentment.

So how do you recover from being a people-pleaser? Therapy may help! And we’ll also share some books and online resources below. In this episode you’ll hear Alix and David talk about their journey with therapy, personal growth, and the signifigance of authenticity in all relationships, even in the face of challenging societal expectations.

Stick around for the end of the episode when our hosts discuss self-abandonment, and how hiding one's true self can lead to deep feelings of loneliness. Good communication is essential for bridging the internal and external selves. Another crucial tool for breaking self-abandonment patterns is acknowledging bodily responses to stress - Alix takes a quick detour into Polyvagal theory for those interested. We hope that this episode can serve as a primer for anyone looking to heal from people-pleasing tendencies and embrace authenticity for fulfilling relationships.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Welcome back to Wake the F*** Up! After two weeks off we are back with all all new episode and a very special guest, David’s daughter Kate Long joins her dad on the podcast for an intimate conversation about life after losing her mom, her experience in living with grief as a young person, and the challenges and joys of belding families as Alix and David started their relationship.  Kate is David’s eldest child, she’s 19 and currently a  freshman at UT Austin, studying Mechanical Engineering. We are so glad Kate asked to be on the podcast because this father-daughter conversation offers such a unique grief perspective. 

Diving in, David and Kate talk about some of the different ways that losing Betsy affected them and their whole family dynamic. They discuss the challenges of living authentically and dealing with transitions while processing a major loss. David shared his journey of self-exploration, no longer pretending, and Kate acknowledges the similar pressures she was feeling during this period. The key takeaway here: it’s okay to not be okay.

Later in the episode, Kate shares how hard it is to be authentic in relationships after a big loss at young age, and how she’s looking for real connections, but many of her peers are in a different place emotionally because they haven’t experienced grief the way she has. 

Next we dive into the transformative power of therapy! Kate discussed how going to therapy helped validate her emotions and help her cope with anxiety. They explore the benefits of therapy in normalizing emotions and improving communication skills within relationships. Kate shared how therapy helped her recognize patterns and manage intense feelings. David and Kate wrap things up talking about the importance of reaching out for support, and using different coping mechanisms that work for you. We hope you enjoy this deep father-daughter conversation about grief and living authentically. Thank you, Kate, for sharing your experience with the Wake podcast audience!

Resources for this episode: 

This week on Wake the F*** Up, Alix and David sit down with Abel Keough, a remarried widower who has successfully helped thousands of women know if the widowers they’re dating are ready for a serious relationship. Before we dive in to the rest of the episode, we want to give a content warning that this episode contains discussions about suicide as well as infant loss; topics which may be triggering to some of our listeners. Feel free to skip this episode if you need to, or come back when you’re ready. 

To kick off the conversation, Abel shares his personal experience as a remarried widower and discusses his work in helping women navigate relationships with widowers. He has written several books, including “The Wife in the Next Life” and “The Ultimate Dating Guide for Widowers,” and hosts a YouTube channel (@DatingaWidower) full of helpful resources for the widower community, many of which have resonated with Alix. The three move on to discuss the challenges faced by young widowers, the lack of resources available to them, and the importance of setting boundaries with friends and family during the grieving process. 

Later in the podcast, Abel shares his story of losing his pregnant wife to suicide and navigating life after her death. He talks about finding support systems that are understanding and helpful, as well as finding ways to cope with grief such as running or journaling. The conversation also touches on topics like loneliness in grief, shame around suicide deaths, redefining relationships after loss, and starting to date again. Abel emphasizes that there is no specific timeline for when someone should start dating again but cautions against getting into serious relationships too quickly before being emotionally ready. He also advises open communication about dating with family members in order to avoid feelings of betrayal or mistrust later on. Alix and David can relate! Both hosts share their own experiences with anger towards their late spouses and discuss how they worked through it over time.

Abel is the author of four dating guides, a memoir about losing his late wife to suicide and falling in love again, and co-author of a book with his wife, Julianna, about the struggles and questions they had to overcome to take their relationship from dating to marriage. His Dating a Widower YouTube channel contains over 200 videos and valuable advice for widowers and the women who are dating or married to them.

Suicide prevention resources: 

Happy Valentine’s Day, Wake family! This week on the Wake the  F*** Up podcast we have two incredible guests, Dr. Cindy Ashkins and Dr. Bob Gervey, sharing their knowledge and expertise about mindfulness and relationships! Dr. Cindy has been a licensed clinician since 1980 and is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist and Workshop Presenter. Dr. Bob is a medical psychologist whose work integrates medication management with his clinical services. They are life partners, work partners and co-creators of Mindful Love Workshops, which teach couples numerous relationship skills including how to be present to themselves and each other.

Alix kicks the conversation off by crediting Dr. Bob for helping so many of her friends, and even a close family member. As Alix says, Dr. Bob helped her family through a critical time and she’s deeply grateful. From there, Dr. Cindy and Dr. Bob discuss their backgrounds and the workshops they offer. You’ll get to hear all about how the Mindful Love Workshops began, and the evolution to where they are today. They also discuss how they teach couples to use breath and meditation for emotional regulation and conscious communication. 

Dr. Cindy and Dr. Bob then answer some deep questions on why chaos and grief sometimes cause couples to lose their connection to each other, and why it’s absolutely crucial for the individuals in a relationship to be present in order to foster (or rebuild) their connection. Alix and David also share personal stories about their experiences with therapy, medication management, and the importance of mindfulness in relationships. And finally, stick around for the end of the conversation, when Dr. Gervey talks about his pioneering research on genetic testing for psychiatric medications. If you’re interested in the science of wellbeing and mental health, it’s a discussion you won’t want to miss. 

This week’s episode is not exactly Valentine’s themed, but it’s all about relationships!  We hope you enjoy it and maybe listen to it along with someone you love this week!

It’s our steamiest, sexiest, raunchiest, episode yet! Our guest today is Tiffany Anton, a Psychotherapist specializing in sex and relationships. For the past 23 years, Tiffany has helped individuals and couples enhance their relationships and intimate lives. In addition to her private practice, she has presented nationwide on a variety of topics covering cancer diagnosis and sex, geriatric sexuality in assisted living and nursing homes, Lifestyle/Swinging conventions, and kink education. Tiffany also provides training for other licensed clinicians in working with sexual concerns in their therapy offices.

In this episode, Alix and David sit down with Tiffany to talk about alllll the steamy and spicy sexual things. From normalizing sexual desires, to exploring pleasure, body image issues, shame and judgment, and improving communication with partners. The conversation also touches on societal influences on sexual attitudes and behaviors. Tiffany addresses the existential question of, where does this come from? Where does the sexual shame come from? It’s a complicated answer with ties to how were raised, the society we grew up in, and how those concepts are reinforced in differing experiences.

As parents of a blended family, Alix and David also wanted to hear Tiffany’s recommendations for talking to teenagers about sex. Don’t miss her expert tips, and the specific resources she recommends for safely and appropriately learning more about pleasure and self-exploration. 

Yes, this episode has a lot of sexual content, but it’s also about all our favorite WAKE themes too: mindfulness, self-love, and open communication. As Tiffany explains, those aspects of living consciously can be transformative in enhancing sexual experiences.

This episode is too juicy to pass up.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

It’s a big week for the Wake the  F*** Up podcast as Alix and David welcome their first male guest to the show. Michael Hernandez is a Marine veteran-turned firefighter paramedic, who now works as a certified trauma-informed yoga instructor, an Oxygen Advantage certified breath coach, and Wim Hof instructor. We’re so excited to share Michael’s incredible journey with our listenersthis week. In this interview you’ll hear about how Michael is helping veterans and first responders overcome their challenges through his unique blend of alternative therapies and holistic approaches to wellness.

We kick things off by talking about the importance of creating safe spaces for men to be vulnerable. As you may have noticed, there are not nearly as many men working in the mindfulness space as there are women, but Michael is working to change that! And so are we, here at the Wake the  F*** Up podcast. 

Our hosts also connect with Michael on the topic of how childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on one's life. Michael shares about how he had a traumatic childhood and learned to compartmentalize trauma from an early age. He carried that ability into his career as a Marine, and it made him very effective in combat situations. A serious injury sustained on the job eventually forced Michael into medical retirement. After completing his military service, Michael transitioned into a career as a firefighter/ paramedic.Despite the setback, Michael refused to let his injury define him. He turned his attention to helping others in his community. The conversation then turns to the need for alternative therapies in mental health treatment, and the significance of self-work and constant personal growth. 

Michael shares that he as been on an idea quest about rite of passage rituals, and how people are living in isolation now more than ever, instead of connecting as a community. The discussion also delves into masculinity, societal constructs,and the role of vulnerability in relationships. Overall, it emphasizes the importance of open communication and emotional connection within partnerships.

Stick around for the end of the episode, an incredibly powerful moment with Alix reads one of Michael’s poems. We won’t give away too much about it, you just have to hear it for yourself. That poem seques perfectly into a discussion about shadow work, inner child work, and its connection to grief and death. Alix reflects on the challenges faced by widows and widowers in understanding their identities after experiencing loss. The big message here: while partnerships are important, individuals are ultimately responsible for loving and changing themselves. 

And finally as we wrap up, you’ll get to hear about the men's retreats offered by Michael's company Sovereign Journey, and how they help to function as safe spaces for emotional expression.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Welcome back for a very special edition of the Wake the  F*** Up podcast with Alix and David. We’re calling this episode “December Dishing” as our hosts sit down to discuss all things holidays, Christmas, blended families, death, grief, and, yes, even intimacy. If you had a crazy Christmas full of emotions or are ideating on your own goals and resolutions for 2024, you don’t want to miss this insightful conversation. 

Alix and David begin by reflecting on the past year. They also talk about the importance of creating a safe space for emotions and allowing themselves to feel as well as their personal growth journeys, including healing from grief and trauma. 

Then, they dive into work challenges, a topic many of our listeners can relate to. Alix shares her experience creating a healthy work environment after going through difficult times with her previous business partner. She also emphasizes the need for open communication and vulnerability in relationships. Later in the podcast, Alix talks about the pressure to conform to societal expectations, and how she wants to continue doing a better job of breaking free from seeking validation and focus on authenticity. Sounds like a great 2024 goal!

Reflecting back on the holidays, Alix then goes on to talk about finding balance between external validation and spending time with family, especially during the hectic holiday season. At the end of the day, creating meaningful connections with family members is so much more important than having a perfectly decorated house for Christmas…don’t you agree? And of course, parenting is full of challenges, even without holiday stress. But Alix talks about how she found time to immerse herself in life’s simple joys this year, like watching her children ride horses. 

And, as most conversations on Wake the F*** Up go, the discussion then pivoted. Alix and David explore topics relating to intimacy, communication and societal programming about sexuality, body image, and gender roles. Alix delves into personal experiences with self-acceptance and highlights the importance of embodiment practices for women's empowerment. The discussion also touches on religious influences as well as attitudes towards sexuality and control over women's bodies. 

Lastly, David and Alix wrap up the episode with their 2024 New Year’s resolutions! Everything from working on embodiment practices, developing new features and services in the Wake App, and incorporating more listener feedback into podcast episodes — it’s all on the table this year and we can’t wait to take you along for the journey. ​​We know it’s going to be a transformative year for our hosts, and our podcast listeners. We have so much exciting stuff planned. Stay tuned!

Learn more about WAKE:

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We want to thank all of our loyal podcast listeners and friends for being a part of this journey with us! While our podcasting team is enjoying a little break for the holiday season, we wanted to take this opportunity to re-stream one of our most popular episodes. In case you missed it: Alix's husband, Dr. David Long, officially joined the podcast as a co-host back in November and the response from our listeners has been incredible! So this week we are re-sharing this episode, full of insights and stories of grief, waking up, feeling safe, navigating gender roles, blended families, all the things. We hope you love it, and we will be back next week and every week in January with ALL NEW EPISODES, featuring incredible guests, new faces, our new musical intro, and so much more, we can't wait to bring you those episodes.

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Episode 022: Welcome Co-Host David Long

David and Alix met as young widowed single parents in New Orleans after we lost our spouses. They recently got married and moved to Texas with our 5 blended children, three dogs, and one cat. David is the perfect first male guest for us to have on the podcast talking about grief, waking up, and what his healing journey has entailed. 

David kicks off the episode by sharing his journey through grief after losing his first wife to a brain aneurysm. And throughout this episode we’ll talk about the different journeys of awakening after experiencing trauma. David in particular shares how he initially resisted therapy but eventually sought help when he realized he couldn't handle it alone. Our conversation delves into societal expectations of masculinity and the importance of open communication in relationships.

Alix, David, and Jami all share their experiences with societal expectations placed on relationships and how gender roles can hinder communication. And David wraps up the episode by reflecting on the importance for some men, including himself, of being asked what they want, and his realizing that he had never really asked himself that question before. We’ll unpack that and so many other insights into masculinity, grief, and waking up. 

Plus, We had so much to cover with David that we are making this a two-part episode. So please join us next week for the second half of our conversation, we’ll be diving more into David and Alix’s different grief journeys, and how they affected their families in different ways. David will also share some of the big takeaways he got in the early days of his therapy journey, and how therapy helped him understand things differently and make positive changes, especially in his family dynamic. 

This week on the Wake the  F*** Up podcast Alix and David welcome Jacqueline “Jax” Hurst to the show. We know Jax’s journey of self discovery and living authentically will resonate with our listeners! Jax is an Intuitive Guide, Yoga Teacher, and Soul Coach. Her mission is to inspire and motivate others to discover (or re-discover) their true authentic selves by doing the things that light their soul on fire. Alix and David kick off the conversation talking with Jax about the power of living an authentic soul-led life. 

Jax shares her journey of how she did not initially like yoga, but eventually fell in love with it after a transformative class. This informative and insightful conversation explores Jax’s journey into mindfulness practices and yoga, as well as her personal experiences with anxiety and healing. 

From there, the conversation shifts to the challenges of self-discovery and the importance of slowing down and peeling away layers in order to find true inner peace. A lot of us can relate to the experience of how being constantly busy and not taking time to rest can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of unworthiness. Jax and Alix talk about the impact of trauma on the nervous system, emphasizing the importance of feeling safe in order to heal. We loved Hearing David’s insights on this as well–David shares his experience as a doctor and acknowledges the unhealthy culture in medical training that prioritizes busyness over self-care. 

Do you like to set intentions for the day or for the year? Jax shares her personal intention for peace in 2023, and describes her journey towards finding inner peace amidst busyness and grief, including a miscarriage. Jax walks us through her emotional and physical healing process after the miscarriage, including complications and feelings of loneliness. She and Alix also touch on the challenges of navigating fertility issues and the impact it has on women's sense of self. It’s just so important to be checking in on yourself and make choices that bring peace, like practicing mindfulness in everyday activities

Stick around for the end of this episode when Jax shares her personal journey with spirituality, reflecting on her Catholic upbringing and the experience of deepening her faith in recent years, which ultimately helped her cope with the grief of her miscarriage. She talks about how at the end of of the day, finding a different perspective in life can really help nurture your spirit. Alix and Jax spend the last few minutes of this incredibvle episode imply reflecting on  the purpose of every life, even after death, 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

As we head into the throes of the holiday season, we thought our listeners might need a mindfulness check-in. So, we brought in Laura Livermore Gilley, a mindset and manifestation coach, wellness retreat leader and yoga instructor. Laura works with women all over the country through online courses, workshops, one-on-one coaching and in-person retreats with an approach that combines spiritual teachings, neuroscience, inner child healing and energy work to align the mind, body and soul. In this episode, Laura shared stories and insights from her work empowering women to manifest their dreams through deep inner transformation as well as how to build an unfuckwithable mindset to create magnetic energy. 

Laura’s baby son Jack also joined us this week which led Alix, Laura and David into a fantastic discussion on the challenges of being mindful while raising children. The conversation touched on the transformative nature of becoming a parent and the importance of relaxation during childbirth. Our guest even opened up about her own natural birth story and her use of hypnobirthing techniques as well as her reflections on how undervalued motherhood is and how she came to the realization that being a mother is her purpose in life. 

The conversation then shifted to the complex dynamics of partners working together and communicating while on their individual healing paths. Alix and David talked about the differences in their spiritual beliefs and how they have actually helped their relationship. Laura also shared how she and her husband have different beliefs when it comes to spirituality and manifestation, but that they have collaborated to find a common ground and speak the same language. This conversation runs the gamut — from inner child work to feeling the influence of family members who have passed away. 

The next big topic we jumped to is a favorite here at Wake — the importance of safety and feeling safe. Dr. David stepped in with some great insights where he emphasized the importance of creating a safe space for men to share their feelings and needs, and how many men have the fear of being unloved if they show vulnerability. Laure also shared some of her expertise on mindset work and manifesting in relationships, highlighting the need to create internally before experiencing external change. 

Finally, we wrapped up by discussing Laura’s coaching work and upcoming events, including a wellness retreat in Sedona, AZ. If you are looking for an opportunity to align your chakras and manifest the things you desire, then this retreat could be for you! Follow the link below for more details on the Aligned Soul Retreat hosted by Laura in May 2024. 

Do you enjoy spending time in the kitchen? Then you will love this week’s episode of the Wake the F*** Up. Our guest Laura Lea Bryant is a certified holistic chef and breakup coach with more than 10 years of expertise in the wellness industry. 

Laura Lea and Alix kick off this episode by discussing their mutual love for cooking and the way food has been a major theme in both of their lives. For Alix, it goes back to her first husband Carl and his career as a chef and restaurateur in New Orleans. For Laura Lea, it started with culinary school and a cooking career that has led her to write three cookbooks. 

Keeping on the thread of food and emotions, Alix and David delve into the challenges of blending two different families at the dinner table, especially when it comes to different relationships with food. Finding common ground through preparing meals did not come easily at first! David’s family typically ate a lot of meals in a hurry, rather than seated around a dinner table. One of the first meals Alix prepared for David and their children were 10-hour braised cheeseburgers with about 15 sides. Needless to say, they had to find a middle ground. Eventually they did, and now their family has frequent sit-down dinners together. Alix highlights this as a great tool, especially for blended families, to create stability amidst change.

The conversation then shifted to grief, divorce, and breakups. Laura Lea shares some of the grief lessons she took from her divorce and a difficult breakup, while Alix and David reflected on how divorce can be just as difficult as losing a spouse, with ongoing grief and societal pressures to move on quickly. They also touch on attachment theory and how that framework can help you better understand relationships and navigate heartbreaks. Alix and Laura Lea also talked about their shared understanding of personalized grief and recognizing that everyone's grief journey is unique. Laura Lea talks about how she works with clients using a form of cognitive behavioral therapy inspired by the work of Pia Melody, and Alix shared that she has been studying similar strategies for breaking negative thought patterns and codependence. There’s a lot to learn here, from reframing thoughts, to incremental changes, repetition, self-regulation, co-regulation, and daily practice.

We wrap up the conversation talking about food as a holistic healing tool for people going through acute grief and loss. Stick around for the end of the episode as Laura Lea shares some specific foods she recommends for people going through grief, heartbreak, or a really challenging season of life, and the science behind why they work. 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Alix and David Long welcome you back to the Wake the F*** Up podcast this week for part two of our in-depth conversation, talking about grief, aging parents, fear, safety, and loneliness. If you missed last week’s episode, David is officially joining Alix as the co-host of Wake the F*** Up! We are thrilled to be able to share David’s unique perspective with our listeners every week. We had so much to cover in this conversation, we ended up making it into two episodes.

This week, Alix and David are talking about the stage of life they are in (as are many of our listeners) as parents are aging, and the grief that comes when you lose a parent. Alix emphasizes how important it is for people to update their coping strategies on a regular basis, especially as parts of your life start to change, parents become less independent and maybe need more help from you than they used to. 

Alix shares some lessons from the trauma course she’s taking, including a deeper look at how trauma deregulates your nervous system, what happens when you don’t feel safe, and why you need to feel safety in order to heal. Listen as Alix unpacks the chemical, biological and evolutionary reasons why feeling safe is an essential part of having good relationships. This same effect can also stop someone from healing completely and living consciously in their grief journey. As Alix explains, there are parts of your brain that just will not open all the way if you are locked into a survival or fight or flight mentality.

Alix also touches on the somatic exercises available in the WAKE wellness app to help people connect and get insight into how they are feeling during the day. And David shares his experience from the male perspective about what it takes for him to feel safety and security. Spoiler alert - his experience is definitely tied into the stereotypical male feeling of needing to be the provider in a relationship. We are sure that some of our male listeners can relate to this! 

Be sure to stick around for the end of the episode when David shares his view of how powerful an experience it can be to wake up and live consciously. David says, “There's no doubt in my mind. It is scary, but there's absolutely no doubt, I don't want to sound evangelical about it, but there's absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is a better way to live for most people.”

You asked and we delivered — David Long (aka Alix’s husband!) is officially the co-host of Wake the F*** Up! We want to thank all our listeners who reached out and responded so positively to his previous episodes. We are thrilled to have David and his incredible perspective behind the mic every Wednesday. 

Like the last episode David made a guest appearance on, he and Alix had such a great conversation that we decided to make this into a two-part episode. This week, you’ll be hearing about David’s experience with grief, healing, relationships and how it feels to open up old wounds. 

If you’ve been listening to the Wake the F*** Up podcast regularly, you know Alix and David both have an intimate experience with loss. In this episode, they discuss how loss has changed them in both similar and different ways. You’ll also hear Alix and David touch on the fear of fully experiencing emotions, while still trying to function in daily life.

Looking for tools to manage anxiety and overwhelming emotions? You’ll want to tune in for this informative and insightful discussion. After touching on their similar, yet different, grief journeys, Alix and David share their personal experience of suppressing big feelings, and how they eventually allowed themselves to feel in a safe environment, while also recognizing the potential dangers of feeling everything at once. Then, they wrap up part one with a deep dive into codependency, highlighting its destructive nature and how it can inhibit personal growth. 

Be sure to listen in next week for part two of Alix and David’s conversation, where they will be discussing aging parents and the grief that comes with that journey as well as trauma, how it deregulates your nervous system, what happens when you don’t feel safe, and why you need safety in order to heal and wake the f*** up.

This week on the Wake the  F*** Up podcast we welcome Crystalyn Aucoin, a mom, a widow, and an amazing jewelry designer based in  New Orleans. Creating a jewelry line was not always part of Crystalyn's plans, however, a major life-altering event changed the course of her journey, when her 38-year-old husband Ryan passed away from cancer. In this episode, Crystalyn opens up about the challenges she faced during her pregnancy and caring for her husband while he battled lymphoma and leukemia. Alix and Crystalyn reflect on the similarities and differences in their widow journeys and grief experiences. One thing they have in common is strength found in the connections they made with others going through similar experiences. They both touch on the importance of having those supportive people because of how much everything in their life changed after their partner died. 

A big theme throughout this episode is symbols and symbolism, which are a part of both women's lives, and particularly with Crystalyn's jewelry line. Alix shares about the necklace that  Crystalyn gave her at Carl’s funeral, the symbolism of the strength pendant, and what the connection means to her. Meanwhile, Crystalyn shares her experience of finding solace in symbols during her grief journey, particularly after her husband Ryan's passing, white butterflies have become a sign of connection with him. Alix and Crystalyn agree, symbols can help them feel connected to the past, and to their deceased loved ones, in the same way that they can feel connected through certain moments and activities. For example, Alix shares she can sometimes feel that connection to her deceased husband Carl during a really good yoga class. Both speakers agree that they feel a sense of guidance and reassurance from their loved ones who have passed away. 

The conversation touches on rebuilding life after loss, finding peace, and learning to live again while carrying grief. Alix talks about running businesses while raising children and using productivity as a coping mechanism but also seeking balance in prioritizing family over work. Crystalyn expresses her fear about being a widow, a single mother, and a business owner, and trying to build a network of support. Both Alix and Crystalyn highlight the process of breaking down emotionally, reaching rock bottom, and rebuilding themselves after experiencing profound loss. Crystalyn underscores how much the experience of becoming a widow opened her eyes to unapologetically living her purpose. Crystalyn lost her husband in 2016, and Crystalyn Aucoin Jewelry was launched in 2018, based on a desire to connect the intentions of a woman’s journey, to the jewelry she wears everyday.

Shop Crystalyn’s jewelry line here:

If you’ve been listening to the Wake the  F*** Up podcast for a while, you know how powerful it can be when Alex invites fellow widows on the show to share their experience. No two grief walks are the same, and we think the stories and insights from this week’s guest will be really impactful for our listeners. Your Wake the  F*** Up host Alix Long welcomes Vera Hendrix Tuggle, who shares her experience as a widow and her husband Ty's battle with incurable brain cancer. The couple met and got engaged while working in healthcare in New Orleans, and you’ll get to hear Vera share about how they navigated their relationship through long-distance during fellowship. Ty's diagnosis was challenging, but they remained hopeful for his survival despite the grim prognosis. Vera’s Husband Ty passed away last year from incurable brain cancer called GBM, at the age of 40, while Vera was 6 months pregnant with their second child. 

One of the big topics Alix and Vera touch on in this episode is regret, because it’s such a common theme among those dealing with grief. Another common occurrence: feelings of guilt for not being able to save their loved one. This is where finding support from others who have gone through similar situations can really make a big difference. Vera emphasizes that you can only make decisions based on what you know at the time, and hope plays a crucial role in facing terminal illnesses like glioblastoma, even though it remains a difficult journey. Alix and Very reflect on the emotional impact from their similar experiences dealing with cancer, and the regrets they sometimes feel about medical decisions. They also highlight the significance of staying positive while facing a deadly illness, despite the reality of the situation. Vera’s courage and resilience on this journey is truly incredible, and I’m so grateful that she’s with us on the podcast today to share her story.

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This week from the Wake the  F*** Up podcast Alix sits down with Dr. Sonia Malhotra, director for the Palliative Medicine and Supportive Care Service at University Medical Center New Orleans. Sonia has been building palliative medicine programs in the New Orleans region since 2015. If you’re a regular podcast listener, you already know that here at Wake the  F*** Up, we are big on talking about death and grief, unpacking these difficult subjects, and removing the stigma around them. So if you’re curious about palliative care or end-of-life care, this episode is for you! Alix and Sonia kick off the episode discussing palliative care and its role in managing symptoms and providing emotional support for patients with serious illnesses. It’s not just about the medical side of things, Sonia emphasizes the importance of living fully despite serious illness, and embracing mindfulness in approaching life's uncertainties. She shares some of her personal experiences with witnessing death and dying, highlighting the need for acceptance and gratitude in daily life.

You’ll also hear from Sonia about some other aspects of palliative care, including the importance of balancing medications and improving communication in the treatment of chronic illnesses. Throughout this episode you’ll get the sense of how a holistic approach to medicine is really important with end-of-life care, both for the patient, and their family. The transcript also touches on the difficulties of making decisions without clear timelines and the importance of mindfulness in facing bad news. Sonia tells us her goal is to really focus on bringing humanism to her medical practice, and promote more equitable access to healthcare resources. Additionally, she works to prioritize clinician well-being through wellness initiatives and supportive structures within the medical field.

Don’t miss the end of the episode as Alix and Sonia discuss mindfulness in everyday practices to promote well-being and regulate the nervous system. Sonia and Alix can both relate to the need to address emotional impact in healthcare settings and create space for grieving. We hope you’ll come away from this episode with a deeper sense of mindfulness and the value of living consciously in each moment of life.

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On this episode of the Wake the F*** Up Podcast we welcome back a friend of the show, Alix’s therapist, Jan Kahoe. If you have been listening to our podcast you already know, Jan is a super-accomplished professional counselor and grief specialist. We specifically invited Jan back during the month of September to talk about grief as Alix marks the anniversary of her first husband Carl's passing. We kick things off pondering the significance of marking such occasions and reflecting on mindfulness in grief. Jan stresses the importance of living in the present and deriving purpose from everyday activities. Alix and Jan also explore the challenges tied to managing grief-related tasks and decision-making after losing a loved one. If you’re interested in the topic of grief you’ll want to listen to this episode asJan and Alix share their nuanced expertise and personal experiences, including medical trauma, the impact of being a caregiver, and the pivotal role of self-love in healing from loss. 

Jan shares how the death of loved ones is a profound experience that alters our perspective. The memories stick with us, and can alter so much of our behaviors and actions as we process the grief journey. But the silver lining, or *glimmer* as we like to say here on the  Wake the F*** Up Podcast is that going through significant loss makes us realize what truly matters in life. 

Alix shares her personal experience with how loss can lead to changes in relationships as tensions shift. Some people struggle to maintain friendships when they are at different stages of healing, but it's important to set boundaries and prioritize self-care. Grief is a universal experience that everyone will go through in some form or another, and it shouldn't be avoided or stigmatized.

Alix shares how her therapy journey with Jan has helped her process the grief of Carl’s passing, and a big takeaway from that is that she is no longer afraid to be joyful, and has found love again, and gotten remarried. Alix also talks about the challenges of creating a new family dynamic and dealing with other people's opinions. Alix’s insights in her journey towards self-love are woven throughout this episode, and that’s one of the best takeaways we can offer to our listeners. 

Learn more about WAKE:

Welcome back to the Wake the F*** Up Podcast. This week we’re excited to share part two of our conversation with Alix’s husband David Long. We had so much to cover with David, from grief, to waking up, and his healing journey, that we went ahead and made this a two-part episode! This week Alix and David are diving more into their different grief journeys, and how they affected their families and children in different ways. David also shares some of the big takeaways he got in the early days of his therapy journey, and how therapy helped him understand things differently and make positive changes, especially in his family dynamic. We touch on so many other big things in this episode, like body image, anxiety, mindfulness, and having gratitude practice. 

If you missed part one, go back and listen to it now. You’ll get to hear so many great insights about societal expectations of masculinity, and the importance of open communication in relationships. If you’re new to Alix and David’s story, David is a very talented interventional radiologist who recently opened his own practice Innovative Vascular Institute here in San Antonio. He specializes in minimally invasive outpatient vascular surgery focused on the prevention of limb loss and curative treatments for painful vascular issues such as difficult wounds and hemorrhoids. David and Alix met as young widowed single parents in New Orleans after they both lost their spouses. They recently got married and moved to Texas with their 5 blended children, three dogs, and one cat. 

Be sure to stick around for the end of the interview when David shares his thoughts on the impact of therapy and the power of vulnerability. Alix and Jamie also share their thoughts on the importance of being present and connected in relationships, and the need to break free from societal expectations and gender roles. And finally David shares his personal experience with learning the importance of being true to oneself, and exploring ways that people (and especially men) can navigate their own healing journey with authenticity and self-compassion.

Learn more about WAKE:

Welcome to the Wake the  F*** Up podcast. We are so excited to welcome today’s guest, Alix’s husband David Long. David and Alix met as young widowed single parents in New Orleans after we lost our spouses. They recently got married and moved to Texas with our 5 blended children, three dogs, and one cat. David is the perfect first male guest for us to have on the podcast talking about grief, waking up, and what his healing journey has entailed. 

David kicks off the episode by sharing his journey through grief after losing his first wife to a brain aneurysm. And throughout this episode we’ll talk about the different journeys of awakening after experiencing trauma. David in particular shares how he initially resisted therapy but eventually sought help when he realized he couldn't handle it alone. Our conversation delves into societal expectations of masculinity and the importance of open communication in relationships.

Alix, David, and Jami all share their experiences with societal expectations placed on relationships and how gender roles can hinder communication. And David wraps up the episode by reflecting on the importance for some men, including himself, of being asked what they want, and his realizing that he had never really asked himself that question before. We’ll unpack that and so many other insights into masculinity, grief, and waking up. 

Plus, We had so much to cover with David that we are making this a two-part episode. So please join us next week for the second half of our conversation, we’ll be diving more into David and Alix’s different grief journeys, and how they affected their families in different ways. David will also share some of the big takeaways he got in the early days of his therapy journey, and how therapy helped him understand things differently and make positive changes, especially in his family dynamic. 

Learn more about WAKE:

This week’s episode of the Wake the F*** Up podcast is a story of resilience and transformation. From the world of pharmacy to the realms of yoga, mindfulness, and healthcare informatics, our guest Ranee Runnebaum shares her multifaceted career journey and the lessons and insights she has gained along the way.

This episode comes with a content warning: we’ll be talking about domestic violence and domestic abuse. If those topics are triggering for you, you may want to skip this episode, or come back when you’re ready.

When Ranee’s ex-husband was diagnosed with cancer, it was a major turning point in both of their lives. The diagnosis led them on a really difficult journey filled with grief, stress, and financial struggles due to mounting medical bills. If you’ve ever had to be a caregiver to a loved one with a severe illness you may relate to some of the challenges Ranee was facing during this time. Renee opens up about the emotional toll it took on her and how her relationship began to unravel. She reveals the shocking changes in her ex-husband's personality and the verbal abuse she endured during this extremely hard period of their lives, ultimately resulting in their divorce.

Throughout this impactful conversation, Alix, Jami and Ranee tackle the complex dynamics of caregiving, highlighting the strains it can place on relationships and personal well-being. They discuss the difficulty of seeking help and the mixed reactions received from friends and family when you’re going through an experience like illness or divorce.

Ranee’s journey towards healing and self-discovery really took off when she moved to a new city, following her challenging caregiving experience and divorce. Ranee was able to make a shift and open a new chapter for herself personally and professionally. Renee, now working in patient safety, shares her passion for medication safety within the healthcare system, and how her job has given her a unique lens into topics like guilt, blame, vulnerability, and ownership, because of the culture of fear, shame, and silence surrounding mistakes in healthcare. 

Alix closes out the episode by asking Ranee about her current chapter in life, personal transformation and experiences. Ranee shares a little more about her journey of self-care and self-discovery, and says is proud to be at a point in her life now where she is more balanced than ever. 

If you’re experiencing domestic violence or domestic abuse you may find these resources helpful: 

Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer Crisis Counselor 24/7

This week on the Wake the  F*** Up podcast we are talking about the transformative power of yoga with our special guest, Jami’s friend and mentor Jennifer Guthrie. Jennifer is a yoga instructor and owner of Glow Yoga in Gulf Shores Alabama, which just celebrated its 10 year anniversary in July! 

If you’ve ever been curious about starting a yoga practice, you won’t want to miss our discussion about the importance of finding the right yoga community and studio, the evolution of one's yoga practice, and the support that a studio community can provide during times of grief and life transitions.

Jennifer opens up about her personal experiences and reflections on dealing with loss, expectations, and decision-making related to having another child after experiencing pregnancy loss. She shares with us the importance of tuning into your feelings and body sensations when making decisions, instead of overthinking and relying solely on analytical thinking, Jennifer suggests paying attention to how different choices make you feel on a physical and emotional level. 

Alix shares that she has had a similar realization about the value of somatic experiences, and the surrender you feel after trauma shatters your life, and as Alix says, “you can't use your head right?” Alix shares how she’s really into trauma and semantics right now, and how that connects with Jennifer’s suggestion of decision-making through somatics. The big takeaway: “how do you feel in your body? Let that guide you to your truth.” 

Later in the episode, Jennifer shares her expertise on the mind-body connection, yoga, mindfulness, and grief. She highlights the importance of strengthening the connection between the mind and body during yoga and mindfulness practices, emphasizing that these practices make the brain-to-body wiring stronger.

Jennifer also talks about the concept of  clear seeing and clear listening, which involves being fully present and attuned to one's own body and emotions. The body communicates with us, we just need to listen to it. 

Learn more about Glow Yoga 

If you practice pilates or are interested in learning more about it, you’re going to love this week’s episode of the Wake the F*** Up Podcast, with our special guest Alycea Ungaro, owner of Real Pilates. Alycea is a trailblazer in the world of fitness and wellness and has left an indelible mark on the industry, and we are so excited to share her journey with our Wake listeners today. A pioneer of the Pilates method, Alycea has used her expertise to improve people’s lives with fitness media, expert products, and best-selling titles such as Pilates: Body in Motion, inspiring countless people on their wellness journeys.

In this episode, Alycea discusses her early introduction to movement as a child, growing up in a challenging environment, and finding solace and expression through dance, and ultimately transitioning from a professional dancer to a movement instructor. Alix and Jami agree, movement can be incredibly healing, offering a safe space for both expression and connection. That’s why on our podcast we talk so often about the transformative power of different movement modalities, from walking, to yoga, to pilates. Movement can play a significant role in helping people deal with emotions, especially when words fail. Throughout our conversation on the podcast today, Alycea underscores the importance of using artistic and creative expression to channel emotions and build a connection between mind, body, and spirit.

Later in the podcast, we discuss how Pilates has become a healing practice that goes far beyond physical fitness, and that it’s important to stay focused on well-being, rather than getting caught up in the rules of different styles and techniques. The idea is to enjoy the movement, and avoid judgment and divisiveness within the Pilates community, so that people who want to practice Pilates can experience a more inclusive and collaborative approach, where everyone can share and learn from one another and grow in their practice. 

Alycea shares some powerful insights as we dive deep into the transformative nature of movement, and its ability to help people reconnect with their bodies. Especially during times of crisis and change, movement can be an incredible vehicle for healing. It’s a fundamental aspect of life, starting with the very first heartbeat. And the good news is, there is a huge variety of movement modalities for you to choose from. If you have listened to our other episodes (especially the “Dishing” conversations) you already know we encourage all of our listeners to consciously engage with their bodies, whether it's through Pilates, yoga, or other forms of exercise.

And stick around for the end of the episode when Alycea gives us a glimpse of her Pilates aspirations, and where she hopes to take her practice in the future! 

Connect with Alycea on Instagram: 

This week on Wake the  F*** Up podcast, our hosts Alix and Jami sit down with Whitney Lyn Allen, mother, widow, and bestselling author.  If you want to dive deep into the complexities of grief, healing, and rebuilding after loss, you don’t want to miss this episode. Whitney Lyn joins us to talk about her personal grief journey following the death of her husband, and how she decided to turn her pain into purpose. Whitney Lyn’s book titled, “Running in Trauma Stilettos,” is an Amazon Best Seller. Whitney Lyn is also a certified grief educator and grief coach. And most importantly she is a mom of two boys, Jackson and Leo. Even though Whitney Lyn is a trained and certified grief educator and coach, dealing with the complexities of grief can be just as hard for her as anyone else. In this interview Whitney Lyn shares the challenges of being a young widow and the lack of support in society. 

Alix and Whitney have a lot in common when it comes to navigating life after a traumatic loss, particularly in relation to finding support and entering new relationships. Whitney reflects on the societal judgment and misunderstanding surrounding grief and moving on, emphasizing the importance of honoring oneself and making choices based on personal needs rather than outside opinions. If you haven’t been through it yourself, it’s hard to imagine how grief can truly lead to feelings of disembodiment and losing trust in yourself. You have to work hard to find alignment between emotional responses and rational thoughts. Alix and Whitney also touch on therapy modalities that helped them in their grief journey, such as somatic work, EMDR therapy, and separating traumatic memories from the associated sensations. 

If you’re new to the idea of grief coaching, this podcast episode is a great place to start. Whitney Lyn explains that grief coaching focuses on managing the grief experience rather than eliminating it entirely. The goal is to find ways to live with grief in a way that allows people to continue their lives while honoring the memory of their loved ones. Whitney Lyn and Alix also can attest to the value of connecting with fellow widows to share experiences and support one another through the grief journey. Whitney Lyn says the ultimate goal of sharing her story is to help others facing similar struggles, so they don’t feel alone. It’s all about normalizing messy healing strategies.

Learn more about Whitney and her story: 

This week on the Wake the F*** Up Podcast we welcome back friend of the show and WAKE Wellness Retreat contributor Cally Nielsen. If you tuned in last week you already know Cally is a gifted yoga instructor,  trauma release/transformational breathwork facilitator, guided meditation teacher, and a singer-songwriter. Today Cally sits down with Alix and Jami for part two of this impactful conversation. 

In this episode, Cally reflects on her wake-up moments and the ripple effects they've had on her life. From navigating toxic relationships to embracing self-love, Cally shares her path of choosing authenticity and growth. Along with Alix and Jami, Cally discusses the power of creating safe spaces, the magic of their retreat experiences, and the importance of letting go of self-doubt. Through poignant anecdotes and shared vulnerabilities, this episode explores healing, self-discovery, and the interconnectedness that drives their shared journey.

Another significant theme you’ll hear about in this podcast episode is body image and self-acceptance. Alix, Jami, and Cally all have vulnerable moments to share from their pasts, as so many of us do! These stories reveal struggles with body image and self-esteem. The conversation underscores the importance of embracing one's body and working towards self-love and acceptance. Cally shares this insight that inspired the title of this particular episode, saying “The reason why I call my yoga and breathwork stuff Vessel Healing, because we are our own vessel. Like, you're the boat. And I always have had this vision. I see everything in metaphors and analogies, and I have this visual for everything. You have to take care of your ship.” 

Follow Cally on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/callyskye

Cally’s Vessel Healing Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/vesselhealing/

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Our guest this week on the Wake the F*** Up Podcast is Cally Nielsen, a yoga instructor, a trauma release/transformational breathwork facilitator, a guided meditation teacher, and a singer-songwriter. Today Cally sits down for part one of a two-part interview with Alix and Jami to talk about the power of breathwork in her mindfulness journey. Alix and Jami also share their experiences with breathwork, what it has meant to them, and how they’re using it as a modality for healing. 

During this episode, Cally shares her mission to empower people to find solace within their bodies, minds, and spirits, while embracing vulnerability's strength. One of the major themes we touch on in this topic is setting boundaries for empowerment. Cally shares with Alix and Jami how she has learned to successfully establish healthy boundaries in her life. Alix and Jami echo those same sentiments with their own boundary-setting lessons in life. 

Cally also touches on the meaning of authentic expression, and how embracing her true self has become a cornerstone of her journey, both personally and professionally in her yoga, breathwork, and  guided meditation practices. 

Fans of the WAKE podcast and the WAKE wellness retreats will love listening to this captivating episode with Cally. Her wisdom and experiences promise to inspire and shed light on the transformative power of yoga, breathwork, and meditation. And tune in next week for part two of our conversation with Cally!

Follow Cally on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/callyskye

Cally’s Vessel Healing Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/vesselhealing/

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Welcome back to the Wake the F*** Up Podcast. This week, Alix and her co-host Jami sit down together and cover a lot of personal ground, much of it centered around trauma and their healing journeys. But first, if you missed last week, we discussed Jami's struggle to set boundaries with her boss at work and establish healthy communication. Alix kicks things off by asking Jami about her "boundary bomb" email. We dive into Jami’s courageous step of setting boundaries and the anxiety that can come with it. Jami shares the outcomes of the email she sent to her boss and the surprising positive response she received! Jami also reflects on her communication styles and how they impact her ability to connect with her true self and express herself authentically in various areas of life, such as work and personal relationships. Alix and Jami explore the importance of understanding our communication strengths and weaknesses, as well as the role they play in fostering healthy relationships.

Later in this episode, our hosts share the trauma they carry from their distinct caregiving experiences. Jami opens up about her time in the NICU with her newborn son, and Alix discusses the challenges she faced losing her first husband to cancer. The discussion shifts to the role of the caregiver in acute hospital settings, and both Alix and Jami offer valuable advice for anyone facing a similar situation. Death and near-death experiences, and caring for a loved one in that journey, leave a lasting trauma impact. Our hosts finish out the episode talking about how that trauma has impacted different areas of their lives, what they have learned from it, and how they have been able to heal and grow. 

Thank you for joining us on this powerful episode of "Wake the F*** Up." We hope that this episode and all of our content inspires you to live more consciously and embrace your own journey of healing and growth.

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review if you enjoyed the episode. 

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On this week’s episode of the Wake the  F*** Up podcast we are unpacking the scary and sometimes-taboo topic of death, and the often misunderstood aspects of the grieving process in our culture. This week’s guest is an expert on grief and trauma, Janet Kahoe. Jan is a Licensed Professional Counselor, and Alix’s longtime therapist. Jan has worked as a psychotherapist for over 35 years, after receiving her License in Counseling in 1988. Jan also started a Grief Center in 1997, offering grief therapy to individuals, families and groups. She is now in private practice where she works with individuals, couples, and families regarding grief, anxiety, and depression. And she is a certified A-I-T practitioner. Which stands for Advanced Integrative Therapy. On this podcast episode Jan tells the story of why she decided to open a grief center. Jan also shares her experiences from working as a Bereavement counselor in Hospice, as well as doing Rehabilitation Counseling with the Physically Disabled. And together with Alix and Jami, Jan walks through what she has personally found to be the most misunderstood aspects of the grieving process. 

Follow Jan on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/jankahoe/

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In this episode of the Wake the F*** Up podcast we are diving into the healing power of self-love with Kelly Chase. You may know Kelly from her appearance on the hit reality TV show "Love is Blind”, but we know her for her magnetic presence and warm, genuine spirit, especially after Alix and Jami connected with Kelly on a WAKE Wellness retreat several months ago. Beyond her TV journey, Kelly is passionate about self-love, body positivity, and mental health awareness. Kelly joins us today on the Wake the F*** Up podcast to share her wisdom on holistic wellness, personal growth, and inspiring others to live their best lives. Also in this episode, Kelly and Jami discuss modalities for living consciously, and the potentially misleading idea that meditation has to mean “emptying your mind”, because meditation and decompressing can look different for each individual. Alix and Kelly discuss inner child work, the source of some people-pleasing personality traits, and how to wake to the realization that you are enough. 

Content warning: this episode does contain a brief mention of disordered eating. If that is a trigger for you, you may want to skip this episode, and check out some of our other podcast episodes instead.

This week's guest is Kailyn Schloegel, a courageous survivor of domestic abuse. Kailyn is also a single mom to two beautiful children. This episode comes with a content warning as we discuss some difficult topics like physical abuse. If that is a trigger for you, you may want to skip this episode, and check out some of our other podcast episodes instead.

We are so excited to have Kailyn join us on the Wake the F*** Up podcast to share her journey, the struggles that came with breaking free from a toxic situation, and the modalities she is using to build a new life for herself and her children.

Kailyn shares with us what the Wake moment was in her life, the ripple effect this has had on her wellbeing, and the glimmers that have surfaced in her life as a result of her healing journey.

We also dive into which strategies and techniques have been most effective in Kailyn's recovery, as she learns how to fully live again after being in fight-or-flight mode for so long.

In the end, Kailyn's story is one of resilience, strength, and hope. She is an inspiration to anyone who has faced adversity and come out the other side stronger and more determined than ever before.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

In this episode of the Wake the F*** Up Podcast we are joined by Harmony Schaubhut, a passionate yoga and Pilates instructor who has experienced the transformative power of healing firsthand. Today's episode comes with a content warning as we delve into the difficult topic of sexual abuse. If that is a trigger for you, you may want to skip this episode, and check out some of our other podcast episodes instead. 

We are so excited to welcome Harmony to the podcast to share her journey of waking up and the emotional impact faced by abuse survivors. We discuss her experience with confronting and escaping her abuser, to finding safety and love in her body again. Join us as we shed light on the healing journey and the power of resilience.

This is a topic that is very raw and personal. It is also a topic that is so common, but hidden so deeply in the heart, souls, and bodies of the victims that there is little understanding of how to heal from sexual abuse. We are hoping today that the bravery of Harmony, and her story, will shed light on both the healing journey and emotional impact that abuse victims face in their healing.

ASHA CLINTON, MSW, PhD, is the developer of Advanced Integrative Therapy, a new depth therapy that integrates the energetic removal of trauma with depth analytic understanding.

Alix and Jami sit down to recap their conversation with Ashley Rossy. Ashley is a real estate agent, yoga teacher, lifelong yoga student, and single mom who joined us on last week’s episode of the Wake the F*** up podcast. Alix and Jami recall the details of their candid conversation with Ashley on the often-taboo subject of sexuality, and the emotions entangled with shame and societal expectations, challenging the norms and embracing personal desires. Also in this episode, Alix takes us through her love for yoga and specifically yoga philosophy, expressing her hesitations about pursuing advanced yoga training, and the profound healing power she finds in the practice. Jami shares her personal therapy journey, her struggle to find an authentic connection with therapists, and the pivotal role trust and authenticity play in therapeutic relationships. We also dive into the all-too-common practice of compartmentalizing our everyday worries and subconscious thoughts, and how repressing our emotions is ultimately bad for our mental health. Alix brings up the important differences between talk therapy and therapists who equip us with practical tools for emotional and psychological struggles. Stream the full episode to hear Alix and Jami explore this important question: Why do we often wait until we're in crisis to seek therapy? 

If you enjoyed this episode of Wake the F up, please like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Join the Wake community by downloading our app. Just search for “Wake wellness”

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In this episode of the Wake the F*** Up Podcast, Alix and Jami sit down with Ashley Rossy to hear about her journey as a SCUBA instructor, Real Estate Agent, Yoga Teacher, and lifelong yoga student. As a single mom to a one-year-old, Ashley shares her inspiring stories about navigating life's challenges and finding wonder in everyday moments. Join us as we delve into the fascinating connection between healing work and real estate, and discover why Ashley believes in using her role as a realtor to help people create homes that facilitate personal healing and growth. Ashley and Alix also share their personal experiences with shadow work, inner child healing, and therapy. Other topics include: yoga, real estate, shadow work, searching for life's purpose, divorce and parenting, nature as a source of healing, and finding new freedoms in sexuality. If you enjoyed this episode of Wake the F up, please like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Join the Wake community by downloading our app. Just search for “Wake wellness”.

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