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The Water Coolest

The Water Coolest

By The Water Coolest Team

Refreshingly unfiltered daily biz and markets news and commentary.
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Apple hits $1T market cap, Brookstone files for bankruptcy, and Warner Music buys Uproxx

The Water CoolestAug 03, 2018

00:00
01:39
Wells Fargo settles with 50 states, Aphria rejects hostile takeover & Tesla’s new board members

Wells Fargo settles with 50 states, Aphria rejects hostile takeover & Tesla’s new board members

In today’s Minutes: Wells Fargo settles claims with all 50 states, pot company Aphria rejects a hostile takeover from Green Growth, and Tesla introduces new board members

Dec 31, 201802:23
The end for department stores, Instagram update & McDonald’s breakfast

The end for department stores, Instagram update & McDonald’s breakfast

In today’s Minutes: Name brand department stores are be on the brink, Instagram rolls out a horizontal update and people were pissed, and McDonald’s breakfast seems to be backfiring

Dec 28, 201802:15
Markets rebound, holiday sales soar & JD.com buyback

Markets rebound, holiday sales soar & JD.com buyback

In today’s Minutes: the DOW rises 1,000 points, holiday sales are highest in 6 years, and JD.com announces share buyback

Dec 27, 201801:45
Government shutdown looms, Softbank invest in Fair & Apple vs. Qualcomm

Government shutdown looms, Softbank invest in Fair & Apple vs. Qualcomm

In today’s Minutes: the government shutdown looks like a done deal, Softbank plans investment in Fair, and Qualcomm is going after Apple in Germany

Dec 21, 201802:22
Fed raises rates, Altria invests in Juul & Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline to join forces

Fed raises rates, Altria invests in Juul & Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline to join forces

In today’s Minutes: Fed raises rates and markets plummet, Altria invests in Juul, and drug maker’s Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline partner up
Dec 20, 201802:16
SpaceX lands $500M, Tilray goes global & Kroger launches autonomous delivery

SpaceX lands $500M, Tilray goes global & Kroger launches autonomous delivery

In today’s Minutes: SpaceX lands $500M in funding at $3.5B valuation, Tilray goes global, and Kroger announces the first autonomous grocery delivery service
Dec 19, 201802:33
Google expands NYC footprint, stock markets continues freefall & 1MDB isn’t going away

Google expands NYC footprint, stock markets continues freefall & 1MDB isn’t going away

In today’s Minutes: Google expands its NYC footprint, stock markets continue to tumble, and Malaysia files formal charges against Goldman related to 1MDB
Dec 18, 201801:58
LVMH to buy Belmond, Johnson & Johnson coverup & Tesla funding secured

LVMH to buy Belmond, Johnson & Johnson coverup & Tesla funding secured

In today’s Minutes: LVMH will buy Belmond for $3.2B, Johnson & Johnson accused of massive coverup, and Tesla issues bonds to raise funds
Dec 17, 201802:41
Apple’s expansion, Robinhood becoming a bank & farm bill passes

Apple’s expansion, Robinhood becoming a bank & farm bill passes

In today’s Minutes: Apple chooses location for expansion, Robinhood expands into checking accounts, and farm bill passes congress.
Dec 14, 201802:19
Tencent’s IPO, Elliott takes stake in Pernod Ricard & China hacks Marriott

Tencent’s IPO, Elliott takes stake in Pernod Ricard & China hacks Marriott

In today’s Minutes: Tencent’s IPO was meh, Paul Singer’s Elliott Management takes stake in Pernod Ricard, and China state hackers are said to be responsible for a Marriott hack of 500M customer’s info.
Dec 13, 201802:38
Daimler AG goes electric, Google’s CEO faces congress & Verizon admits defeat

Daimler AG goes electric, Google’s CEO faces congress & Verizon admits defeat

In today’s Minutes: Daimler AG is buying $23B in battery cells to ramp up electric car production, Google’s Sundar Pichai faces congressional hearing, and Verizon takes goodwill impairment charge on Yahoo and AOL.
Dec 12, 201802:13
China bans iPhone sales, Brexit deal falls apart & Tivity Health buys Nutrisystem

China bans iPhone sales, Brexit deal falls apart & Tivity Health buys Nutrisystem

In today’s Minutes: China grants Qualcomm’s injunction against Apple, Brexit deal falls apart, and Tivity Health buys Nutrisystem.
Dec 11, 201802:34
Altria buys stake in Cronos, Uber files for IPO & OPEC production cuts

Altria buys stake in Cronos, Uber files for IPO & OPEC production cuts

In today’s Minutes: Altria invests $1.8B in Cronos, Uber files for an IPO, and OPEC agrees to oil cuts. Plus, will you ever actually be “good enough.”
Dec 10, 201802:31
Markets go haywire, Lyft files for IPO & OPEC discusses cuts

Markets go haywire, Lyft files for IPO & OPEC discusses cuts

In today’s Minutes: another wild day for markets, Lyft files for an IPO, and OPEC contemplates production cuts. Plus, we pour one out for Bernie Madoff’s victims.
Dec 07, 201802:19
Facebook email leak, Huawei CFO arrest & Nomura blames quants

Facebook email leak, Huawei CFO arrest & Nomura blames quants

In today’s Minutes: a trove of internal Facebook emails were leaked, Huawei’s CFO arrested in Canada, and Nomura says that quants are the reason for the recent market sell-off. Plus, maybe this 300 year old book can help you understand the markets, but probably not.
Dec 06, 201801:48
Wells Fargo glitch, markets plummet & Thomson Reuters layoffs

Wells Fargo glitch, markets plummet & Thomson Reuters layoffs

In today’s Minutes: Wells Fargo’s glitch caused customers lose their homes, markets shook by trade war jitters, and Thomson Reuters plans layoffs.
Dec 05, 201802:33
Shell ties exec pay to carbon footprint, GlaxoSmithKline buys Tesaro & Qatar drops out of OPEC

Shell ties exec pay to carbon footprint, GlaxoSmithKline buys Tesaro & Qatar drops out of OPEC

In today’s Minutes: Shell will tie its executives pay to the company’s carbon footprint going forward, GlaxoSmithKline buys Tesaro for $5.1B, and Qatar announces it is leaving OPEC. Plus, get your Bill Gates on.
Dec 04, 201802:06
US-China trade truce agreed upon, Starwood hack & USMCA signed

US-China trade truce agreed upon, Starwood hack & USMCA signed

In today’s Minutes: the US and China reached a truce in the ongoing trade war that will allow for further negotiations, hotel giant Starwood was hacked last week, and US, Mexican, and Canadian leaders agreed to a new trade deal. Plus if a CEO with ADHD can crush it, what’s your excuse?
Dec 03, 201802:45
Deutsche Bank office raided, Bayer cuts 12,000 jobs and sells off brands, and PBR is saved.

Deutsche Bank office raided, Bayer cuts 12,000 jobs and sells off brands, and PBR is saved.

In today’s Minutes: Deutsche Bank’s HQ raided as part of money laundering investigation, Bayer announces 12k job cuts as it exits the animal health market in wake of Monsanto take over,, and PBR is saved. Plus bros named Chad decide which investment bank is more chill about work-life balance.
Nov 30, 201802:25
The Fed is dovish, Altria takes a stake in Juul, and Jeep creates The Gladiator.

The Fed is dovish, Altria takes a stake in Juul, and Jeep creates The Gladiator.

In today’s Minutes: Fed’s Powell is dovish, Altria looks to take a large minority stake in Juul, and Jeep re-enters the midsize truck market with ‘The Gladiator.’
Nov 29, 201802:16
Papa John deal sours, “The Match” exceeds expectations, and the “Turkey 5”

Papa John deal sours, “The Match” exceeds expectations, and the “Turkey 5”

In today’s Minutes: Trian backs out of Papa John’s deal, Tiger Woods new gig, and Amazon reports its biggest opening to holiday shopping season ever, while announcing a new health care software. Plus, how to stick it to a boss who steals your ideas.
Nov 28, 201802:24
GM layoffs, United Technologies restructuring & Third Point and Campbell’s settle

GM layoffs, United Technologies restructuring & Third Point and Campbell’s settle

In today’s Minutes: GM announces 14k layoffs, United Technologies will split its businesses, and Dan Loeb and Campbell’s come to terms. Plus, it still sucks to be poor.
Nov 27, 201801:58
Oil continues to fall, GAP plans store closures & Black Friday sales hit all time high

Oil continues to fall, GAP plans store closures & Black Friday sales hit all time high

In today’s Minutes: oil continues its plummet, the GAP plans to close hundreds of stores, and Black Friday sales hit an all time high. Plus, red flags to look for during an interview.
Nov 26, 201801:58
Markets see massive sell off & Walgreens and Humana join the healthcare race

Markets see massive sell off & Walgreens and Humana join the healthcare race

In today’s Minutes: Markets fell drastically yesterday and Walgreens and Humana are looking to join forces. Plus, what we’re thankful for this year.
Nov 21, 201801:40
Nissan Chairman arrested, BuzzFeed adds paywall & SocGen pays massive settlement

Nissan Chairman arrested, BuzzFeed adds paywall & SocGen pays massive settlement

In today’s Minutes: Nissan Chairman Carlos Ghosn arrested, BuzzFeed not above begging for donations, and Societe Generale settles its $1.3B tab with the US Government for violating sanctions. Plus, is the Price is Right method the key to the dreaded salary requirement section of a job application?
Nov 20, 201801:53
BlackBerry is back, Beyond Meat IPO & VW is going electric

BlackBerry is back, Beyond Meat IPO & VW is going electric

In today’s Minutes: BlackBerry buys cybersecurity firm, Bill Gates backed Beyond Meat files for IPO, and VW is making a huge push into electric vehicles. Plus, nobody gives a damn about the real you.
Nov 19, 201801:46
PG&E shares plummeting, Facebook and Microsoft team up & earnings reports are in!

PG&E shares plummeting, Facebook and Microsoft team up & earnings reports are in!

In today’s Minutes: shares of PG&E are plummeting amid wildfire threat, Facebook and Microsoft team up, and more earnings. Plus, nobody gives a damn about your job title.
Nov 16, 201802:09
Snap is facing SEC subpoena, Dell sweetens deal & Bain closes $1B fund

Snap is facing SEC subpoena, Dell sweetens deal & Bain closes $1B fund

In today’s Minutes: the SEC and DOJ are sniffing around Snap HQ, Dell sweetens proposed deal that would take the company public, and Bain Capital closes $1B fund.
Nov 15, 201802:42
EU and UK near Brexit deal, oil continues free-fall & Waymo close to self-driving car service

EU and UK near Brexit deal, oil continues free-fall & Waymo close to self-driving car service

In today’s Minutes: the EU and UK are near a Brexit deal, oil fell to its lowest point in a year, and Alphabet’s Waymo says it is very close to self-driving car services. Plus, should you use a personal device as your work phone?
Nov 14, 201802:31
It’s the end of the world as we know it, Diageo divests brands & Yanks to bid on YES

It’s the end of the world as we know it, Diageo divests brands & Yanks to bid on YES

In today’s Minutes: the Dow fell 600 points and we’re all going to die, Diageo divests 19 of its brands for $550M, and the Yankees organization plans to buy the remaining 80% of YES that it doesn't own. Plus, are non-competes kosher?
Nov 13, 201802:02
Fed plans more bank deregulation, Alibaba’s singles day hits record & #MergerMonday

Fed plans more bank deregulation, Alibaba’s singles day hits record & #MergerMonday

In today’s Minutes: Fed announces additional plans for deregulation, Alibaba’s Singles Day smashes sales record, and SAP buys Qualtrics. Plus, tech consultants are the new Don Drapers of the world..
Nov 12, 201802:53
Tesla names independent chairman of board, Google to add jobs in NYC & Monsters sues Coke

Tesla names independent chairman of board, Google to add jobs in NYC & Monsters sues Coke

In today’s Minutes: Tesla names independent chairman of board, Google to add jobs in NYC, and Monsters sues Coke. Plus, Bloomberg releases controversial best B-School list.
Nov 09, 201802:43
US election’s economic impact, Papa John’s is totally screwed & Aegean files for bankruptcy

US election’s economic impact, Papa John’s is totally screwed & Aegean files for bankruptcy

In today’s Minutes: US elections will impact economy, Papa John’s spent a ton of money distancing itself from Papa John & Aegean files for bankruptcy following massive scandal. Plus, who pays for those ‘I Voted’ stickers?
Nov 08, 201802:24
Goldman Sachs announces partners, Comcast to release cord cutter set-top box & Vice plans job cuts

Goldman Sachs announces partners, Comcast to release cord cutter set-top box & Vice plans job cuts

In today’s Minutes: Goldman Sachs announces 69 new partners, Comcast plans to release a set-top box aimed at cord cutters & Vice plans to cut 15% of its workforce. Plus, a hacker posing as Elon Musk has already taken a bunch of suckers for $180k worth of bitcoin.
Nov 08, 201801:56
Amazon HQ2 cities set, US elections & Lowe’s closing down stores

Amazon HQ2 cities set, US elections & Lowe’s closing down stores

In today’s Minutes: Amazon HQ2 will be split between two cities, US elections will impact economy & Lowe’s plans to close 51 stores. Plus, some autumn reading recommendations from the masters of the universe.
Nov 06, 201802:04
Jobs report beats expectations, meet GM’s e-bike & Iran sanctions kick in

Jobs report beats expectations, meet GM’s e-bike & Iran sanctions kick in

In today’s Minutes: the Labor Department’s job report had a lot of good news, GM announces two new e-bikes & US sanctions on Iran go into effect. Plus, FIRE is kinda bullsh*t.
Nov 05, 201802:25
Goldman banker pleads guilty in 1MDB case, Googlers walkout & Apple’s shares plummet

Goldman banker pleads guilty in 1MDB case, Googlers walkout & Apple’s shares plummet

In today’s Minutes: Goldman banker pleads guilty in 1MDB case, Googlers walkout to protest workplace sexual harassment & Apple’s shares plummet. Plus, forget your credit score … what’s your customer lifetime value?
Nov 02, 201802:08
GM offers voluntary severance, Fed approves new banking deregulation & the market’s terrible October

GM offers voluntary severance, Fed approves new banking deregulation & the market’s terrible October

In today’s Minutes: GM offers voluntary severance to 18k employees, Fed approves new banking deregulation, and the market’s terrible October has finally come to an end. Plus, inflation … as measured by Panda Express’ orange chicken.
Nov 01, 201802:21
Amazon’s woes, GE cuts dividends & Apple’s big announcement

Amazon’s woes, GE cuts dividends & Apple’s big announcement

In today’s Minutes: Amazon valuation has fallen 25% since September, GE will cut its dividend to 1 cent, and Amazon rolls out new Macs and iPads ahead of holiday season. Plus, don’t take costume advice from Megyn Kelly for your office halloween look.
Oct 31, 201802:21
UK announces digital tax, German Chancellor Angela Merkel will not seek re-election
Oct 30, 201801:53
IBM makes largest acquisition ever, Epic Games gets major investment

IBM makes largest acquisition ever, Epic Games gets major investment

In today’s Minutes: IBM to buy Red Hat for $34B, Epic Games, the maker of Fortnite lands $1.25B funding round, and marketing agency Legends wins right to sell 2028 Olympic sponsorships. Plus, if you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying … right?
Oct 29, 201802:18
Altria recalls it’s vape product after FDA pressure, Big Name Tech Stocks drop after markets close

Altria recalls it’s vape product after FDA pressure, Big Name Tech Stocks drop after markets close

In today’s Minutes: Marlboro maker and tobacco giant Altria announced that they are pulling their vape products off the market thanks to pressure from the FDA, Tech stocks dropped after hours as Alphabet, Amazon, and Snap earnings and forecasts didn’t meet the streets expectations. Plus, finding some nature on your commute can reduce stress levels.
Oct 26, 201802:26
Stock markets tumble, Tesla made a profit (I repeat, Tesla made a profit)

Stock markets tumble, Tesla made a profit (I repeat, Tesla made a profit)

n today’s Minutes: stocks markets fell, with all major US indices down more than 2%, Tesla rakes in $311M in profit, and an Adidas exec is found guilty of wire fraud for his part in a wide-reaching college hoops scandal. Plus, Goldman Sachs published its annual fall reading list, so you too can read like a master of the universe.
Oct 25, 201802:48
CATERPILLAR’s poor forward looking projections led to an overall down day for the market.

CATERPILLAR’s poor forward looking projections led to an overall down day for the market.

In today’s Minutes: US indices dropped as much as 2% today on the back of Caterpillar’s poor forward looking projections, despite the fact that their top line earnings beat estimates. Refinery29, a digital media company that has come on the scene of late, announced that they are dropping 10% of their workforce. Plus, the illusive Inbox Zero isn’t always the most productive way to spend your time.
Oct 24, 201802:25
Richard Branson steps down as chairman of Virgin Hyperloop, Netflix will increase debt load, and Gol

Richard Branson steps down as chairman of Virgin Hyperloop, Netflix will increase debt load, and Gol

In today’s Minutes: Richard Branson steps down as chairman of Virgin Hyperloop, Netflix will increase debt load via a $2B bond offering, and Goldman Sachs will get into the wealth management business for mere peasants. Plus, don’t worry, you’re not the only one who isn’t passionate about your job.
Oct 23, 201802:41
JPMorgan is going to Cali, Cleveland-Cliff’s CEO goes off the rail, and Moody’s cuts Italy’s rating

JPMorgan is going to Cali, Cleveland-Cliff’s CEO goes off the rail, and Moody’s cuts Italy’s rating

In today’s Minutes: JPMorgan plans to open a fintech hub in Silicon Valley, Cleveland-Cliff’s CEO goes off the rails on earnings call, and Moody’s cuts Italy credit rating to one step above junk. Plus, we’ve got some good news if you’re a terrible investor.
Oct 22, 201802:49
Oil has been in a freefall, Mnuchin drops out of Davos in the Desert, and Novartis buys Endocyte

Oil has been in a freefall, Mnuchin drops out of Davos in the Desert, and Novartis buys Endocyte

In today’s Minutes: oil is in in a free fall just weeks after experts believed it could hit $100, US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin was the latest headliner to pull out of the Future Investment Initiative Summit aka Davos in the Desert, and Novartis buys Endocyte for $2B. Plus, steer clear of financial advisers this week.
Oct 19, 201802:41
Deutsche Bank traders found guilty in Libor rigging case, Constellation Brands’ CEO to step down

Deutsche Bank traders found guilty in Libor rigging case, Constellation Brands’ CEO to step down

In today’s Minutes: Deutsche Bank traders found guilty in Libor rigging case, Constellation Brands’ CEO to step down, and the US plans to withdraw from postal treaty. Plus, a crash course in legal weed.
Oct 18, 201802:22
Uber eyes $120B IPO valuation, Audi hit with massive fine, and Netflix does its best to make FANG gr

Uber eyes $120B IPO valuation, Audi hit with massive fine, and Netflix does its best to make FANG gr

In today’s Minutes: bankers are pitching Uber on a $120B IPO valuation, Audi is hit with a $930M fine associated with diesel-gate, and Netflix beats earnings by a mile. Plus, all the cool kids are buying Sears right now.
Oct 17, 201802:17
US budget deficit hits 6-year high, Fidelity gets into the institutional crypto game, and Twilio buy

US budget deficit hits 6-year high, Fidelity gets into the institutional crypto game, and Twilio buy

In today’s Minutes: the US budget deficit hits $779B, Fidelity will begin managing crypto for institutional clients, and Twilio will buy SendGrid for $2B. Plus, where you should be investing $10k right now..
Oct 16, 201802:22